Serebii Pokemon Contest Hall - Welcome All Coordinators!

[HarleyScarow]

“Alright, it’s almost time for the Pyrite Town appealing preliminaries to end! Let’s announce coordinator pair number 49 onto the stage…Duking and Silva, come out!”

Two people walked out from the backstage onto the central arena. One of them was a bodybuilder shaped man with a European feather hat on, sporting a business suit tightly and sharply dressed onto himself as he approached with a rather strange atmosphere around him; it was one of honor and determination—as he walked onto the stage, he held his arms out into the air with one of them holding a PokéBall, the blue suit had rushing veins streaming themselves onto his chest, as if he put on the suit at the last second. The second person was a rather stale yet suited person also dressed in a business suit, although it was much smaller and in baby blue color, with gray hair, expensive black boots, and a weak yet cute face sported on him in elegant disguise; he wore black sunglasses over him, taking out a PokéBall as he held it in his hand sharply before the both of them threw it. Clearly, these two almost last coordinators meant big business, but what they were about to show off was going to be a shielded, yet professional mystery.

“Show them how it works—Go Pupitar!” released Duking, the bodybuilder-shaped man.

“Alright, go Skarmory!” released Silva, the emaciated boy with a powerful throw.

Both of the Pokémon were quickly released onto the stage, with Pupitar vibrantly showing its colors by immediately picking up a sandstorm—this was not from the effect of Sand Stream, which was Tyranitar’s special ability—His eventual evolution. The effect was simply caused from the loud crashing Pupitar made onto the ground, picking up the dust and scattering it all over. The beginning of the appeal had the two coordinators completely blurred out by the brown dust, yet you could see their maroon shadows inside of the smog. When it began to clear off, Skarmory jumped out of the sandy trail and made his way onto the top of the arena, where he was highly above the sandstorm’s wrath. It quickly cleared off to reveal the two coordinators, whom were not affected by the raging fury of the sandstorm, with Duking and Silva knowingly making sure they knew what they were doing when the two of them braced themselves. With a swell swagger, the both of them walked out along with the landed forceful Pupitar.

“What a way to repel an attack! Not only was it shiny, but it was controlled randomly!”

“My Pupitar, use your Sandstorm attack, and make a REAL one this time!”

“Go Skarmory, use Swift onto Pupitar while he’s wrapped by the Sandstorm!”

The appeal began with Skarmory flying even higher into the air. With Pupitar commencing his quick spinning, a brown and harsh Sandstorm began to start with the same speed and pressure. As per the toughness of a Pokémon, Pupitar had it as he put as much energy as he could into the spin. The spinning was a powerful drill surging through the ground and picking up all of the sand underneath, along with the powerful dust collected inside of the hardened Pokémon. The only thing remaining that prevented Pupitar from being damaged was the eye of the storm completely safely providing a haven for the Pokémon, quickly and topping the energy forced to make it. With Skarmory at a high enough level, some of the sand Pupitar picked up was hitting his iron clawed feet, although it did not hurt the steel bird for one tiny grain of sand in a second.

“And Pupitar pulls off the powerful Sandstorm attack with intentional ideas this time!”

Now Skarmory unleashed some golden stars from his mouth directly at the sandstorm, with the drilling sands reflecting the yellow stars back to where they came from. This was exactly what Silva planned in mind—The sandstorm was not exactly what you would consider to be a perfect reflection, with the sand picking up randomly. Instead of the golden stars being countered right back at Skarmory, they began to accumulate with the powerful dust shaking the glowing stars back and forth once more and again. Afterwards, Pupitar stopped his powerful spinning, causing the stars to immediately follow the descending path of the sandstorm onto the dusty ground. This dust collected around the stars, with Skarmory releasing more from his mouth. With the sandstorm as a shield, Pupitar did the same result again, except this time he span more brilliantly to cause the shooting stars to reflect at the corners of the room before they forcefully bounced back onto the center and shattered into silver metals Skarmory deliberately added inside.

“Whoa! Will you take a look at the piñata of silver shards Skarmory added inside!”

“Go Skarmory, use your Swift attack once more for another direction!”

“This time, I’ll catch them. Then Pupitar, show them your reflecting skills!”

Now Duking decided to take out some of his stars, although they were weakened versions. He threw some of them into the air, with Silva catching them along the tough process. Now the both of them threw these glittering gold at their respective Pokémon simultaneously, having both of their Pokémon repel the dust into the air. Inside of these packages were glassy pieces, in which both coordinators elegantly dodged as the stars were attacked. These stars had controlled offense being directed back at them—With Skarmory using Steel Wing to break them back while Pupitar simply hovered into the air and span rapidly. Both of these coordinators clearly knew how to train their Pokémon, being able to commune with their level in power of throwing and attacking offensively as well. It was like the appearance of a Pokémon Battle in which both Pokémon had to face off against their trainers, except the reflecting silver shards had brimming meaning of bonds and friendships etched inside. They stopped, ready for the next part of the appeal.

Doing yet another powerful spin, Skarmory unleashed more golden stars, except this time they were aimed at Duking. While the entire crowd gasped, everyone was amazed when they discovered Duking had the ability to catch their airborne stars before they hit the ground. Having them in his hands, he threw all of them directly at Pupitar, whom began spinning his drilling body again into the ground. Not digging into the ground, but Pupitar was able to shoot the stars back at Duking, in which they all shattered into silver shards mere millimeters before striking the man. How Duking put so much trust into a Pokémon obviously appearing reckless was a question, but the silver was eventually accumulated with the winds of Pyrite Colosseum and picked them back up into the air. These began to spin and shower Skarmory with a bathe of the silver shards he unleashed, granting beautiful shines on the two coordinators and their respective Pokémon. The silver shards spread. With Duking and Silva bowing with Skarmory and Pupitar, the appeal ended.

“Both Silva and Duking showed their attacking capabilities along with their Pokémon!”

“It was a good appeal, with synergy from both the coordinators and their Pokémon. But there were a few things you left out on, though—It looked as if you were simply using the thrown shards for filler. In other words, it had nothing to do with the ending act, even when you were relentlessly proving yourself. It did use quite toughness inside, though.”

“It was swiftly remarkable!”

“Well I have to say, you two are good citizens of Pyrite Town. Although I never knew you were coordinators as well, it was a great appeal proved by your power in the battling appeal—The kind you show everyday whenever Pyrite Town has criminals we need to take down. This is why we can depend on your focused strength for our guided safety.”

 

[Nimble Arcanine]

Luck's face was filled with Ebony hair and a lukewarm glare, her hair was longer, much more then it had been, and her face, much different. "Good luck." She smiled down at the pokemon, sitting near her feet. It was a Bulbasuar, very little, but very experienced. This, being her first pokemon, was stonger then it looked, and yet, it didn't evolve, and Luck was happy with that. A small Tv in the corner of the room caught her eye, It was their turn.

Silence fell as she walked to the enterance of the stage, 'And now, Welcome Luck!' One of the judges called from the bench, which was sitting in the middle of the room, the stage infact. Luck's lukewarm glare changed, she wanted to start, and to make this a good start indeed.

"Let's Go!" Luck calls, the Bulbasaur shoots onto the stage, it's speed well balanced as it pauses, waiting the starting command. As it waits, the pokemon shifts it's weight gently from foot to foot. Either being well trained, or well mannered, becase other then that, the pokemon was still. Reaching down, Luck drew a pokeball, raising it high, the girl throws it on the stage.
This moment her pokemon reacts, swiftly wrappings it's own two vines around the ball, until slowly, even the light is caught within.

Small gaps open in the vines, letting a ray of stars fly out, soon to be filling the area of air, above the stage but below the roof. In the mix of stars, a little pokemon had jumped out, and was pirched upon the bulbasuars vines, which were linked together. The vines changed, they lowered, both the pokemon did a jump, as if skipping rope, then landed next to each other, almost back to back, with a look of nervousness across their face. The two pokemon, those from her training team had never appeared infront of many people and done tricks, they battled, and were good at it.

The Pachirisu nodded, Raising it's small paws upwards, winding sleeks of electric rope shot up, mixing and twisting around them. Bulbasaur's eyes glow slightly, before two seeds shoot up, landing upon some stars, and following the light in the wrapping motion, surrounding them, making the sky look like that of a forest. The Squirrel like pokemon then leaps landing upon the vines and stars, as lightening flows around it, The Bulbasaur looks up, then, slowly, glass like shields appear, they flow gently over to the collecting where the Pachirisu was standing, they close together, fitting everything into one.
Once in the box, the pokemon spins, all the mix flows around it, like pasta to a fork, with graceful twists. A slight flash, as the Pachirisu appears ontop of the box, although, still being in the middle of the forest like box.

The crowd whisper slightly, Bulbasuar's vines raise, they wrap around the box gently, and the Pachirisu sits down, closes it's eyes and hums, Working up an attack while keeping the sub in place, gracefully spinning in the middle of the cube of grass, light and stars. The Bulbasaur spins, the box flows due to being perched in it's grip, soon only what looks like a line appears, the Squirrel like pokemon, still sitting on the top, it's grip relaxed, but keeping it's pose strong. Suddenly a huge beam shoots down, hitting the box, it fills with colour, and bulbasaur slows to a stop. The box floats, Bulbasaurs grip relaxes, Pachirisu's body glows. It leaps, as bulbasaur drops the box to the ground, they both turn, Pachirisu lands upon bulbasaur as it shoots leaves at the box, the other pokemon, Follows up by an electric attack, which turns the leaves into an electric weapon. They hit the box with a smash, the shield dissapears, the crowd gasp slightly at the strength of the bulbasaur's Razor leaf.

As the last leaf hits the box, the inside of the what used to be cube, smashes up, and flies around, Electric Stars fall around, small twisted vines caught in the edges. One last trick, Bulbasaur starts to let a sweet melody flow, shooting from it's bulb are little puffs of radiant yellow and purple, they mix, covering the stage, as the tune continues to follow, followe in by a second hum, both the pokemon's tune fill the stage. After a few minutes, the glowing puffs of power would be cleared, so the trio slipped away, the tune still haunting the stage as they do.

--

Not my best, But meh. I wasn't in the best mood.

 

[HarleyScarow]

“Now it’s time for contestant pair number nine’s turn to shine—Duking and Silva!”

“Go Pupitar, show them your homeland’s power!” yelled Duking.

“Now Steelix, rock the place!” rocked Silva.

Each of them threw a PokéBall, releasing Pupitar and Steelix respectively. They entered the field with a grand sandstorm sweeping throughout the field as Skarmory flapped his wings and Pupitar drilled through the ground. There was an aura forming around Pupitar that signaled this was his home a long time ago. The powers of the sands were able to cause blinding steel to pick up. Not even the audience could see the two Pokémon so far or their coordinators. It was much like the previous appeal they made, with blinding the entire stage before anything else could happen. The powerful winds began to slowly subside, revealing the two Pokémon and their respective coordinators. With Skarmory flapping his steel wings onto the ground and Pupitar’s drilling subsiding, they made a tough and grand entrance. The sands landed on the ground, back to the starting point.

“Now Pupitar, use your Rapid Spin attacks to pick up another Sandstorm!”

“Go Steelix, use your Dig attack after Pupitar uses Sandstorm!”

The appeal began with Steelix drilling itself into the ground, although not completely budged into the ground yet. This had Pupitar drilling his body through the ground in order to pick up more Sandstorms, making the cover for when Steelix forced himself into the rocky ground in a powerful matter. The drilling gears emitted from Steelix were the only things anybody could sense when it was digging through the ground. As Pupitar continued drilling through the ground, it was as if he was trying to cover Steelix’s tracks as the steel snake rushed through the rocky ground without any signs of resurfacing again. When Pupitar stopped drilling, the sand subsided to everyone’s relief, even though the picking sand damaged nobody. With Steelix still underground, there were many holes sticking out of the sandy brick rocks. These were obviously caused by Steelix, and from above there was an entire sand pit in a plethora etched onto the ground. They did not form any sort of pattern, but Pupitar was about to pull off what they began with earlier.

“The appeal begins with a tough looking Dig attack from Steelix!”

The next part of the appeal involved Steelix budging out those holes he caused with a powerful explosive and drilling purge. This forceful blow caused the entire hole to explode into tiny bits of dust as the gears grinded across the ground, sweeping up the brown sands and sweeping them into the air. Before any of this was able to hit the crowd, Pupitar leaped in the way and used Rapid Spin to repel the dust. The crowd was not afraid of these sheer-flying motes, having already been accustomed to seeing much of this sand sweep into their face. With them up in protection, Steelix dived back into the ground and forced himself back out many times, having Pupitar repel the sands by spinning them back. Although the audience was unaware, the sand Pupitar was flipping around was forming a shape in the sky. It was rather unpredictable, considering most people might have thought the holes digging was the shaping area. However, it would have been unoriginal, predictable, and inelegantly rough and not tough performance.

“Whoa, this is amazing! The sand was forced onto the ground to make a shape!”

This shape was not the typical etch into the ground appeal. It was delightfully light, and standing up in a three-dimensional moment. Fitting the sandy conditions the location gave out, Duking and Silva had their Pokémon make a sandy and standing sand castle stand in the center of the arena, fitting with all of the sandy environments in a magical way. The Steelix quickly dove into the sand castle, causing everyone to scream as to why it would do so. However, there was a chasm carved directly into the center of the huge sand castle, allowing the steel snake to sneak back into the hole without missing a single gear. This way, Steelix was able to dig underground even more and make the formation and base of the earth’s surface to their advantage. With Pupitar hovering in the sky and spinning even more, the castle was about to be stormed by an army of motes, showering over the beautifully standing edifice and shattering it completely. Now that it was all the way destroyed, everybody gasped, even the judges, but the coordinators were ready.

“And just when you think Steelix was going to tumble, Pupitar hits it on the mark!”

“That was great, sensei!” “You have the next part of the appeal ready?”

With Silva nodding, the next part of the appeal was about to begin. With Silva holding out his hands to show a signal, Steelix arose directly from under the two coordinators in a surprising shock. This was done dangerously, but quickly and safely, having both Silva and Duking on top of the iron snake as he rode them around the field as if this steel serpent was a good ride. With the entire crowd relieved at their toughness and determination, Pupitar leaped into the sky and prepared to spin once more. The sand from below picked up once again and dustily showered Silva and Duking into a mini-sandstorm, blowing both of them away into the winds. The two brave coordinators appeared as if they were about to fall down to their doom, but Pupitar powerfully and elegantly controlled the sandstorm as he spun directly below them, allowing for a safe landing. The appeal was not over yet, with Steelix digging underground for the next part, as the grinding gears crushed through the natural formation of the location’s sandy dirt.

“Whoa, now that was a dangerous part! The trust in Coordinators and Pokémon shines!”

“Now let’s show them what we can really do—Steelix, use your Dragonbreath on us!”

“Let’s go Pupitar! Use Dig to go underground, then Sandstorm to deflect the breath!”

The mechanical snake was able to hover from the ground; as he did so, Steelix unleashed a green Dragonbreath attack directly at the two coordinators, as if they wanted to commit suicide. Both Duking and Silva trusted this beautiful toughness to shine as Pupitar quickly dug underground and resurfaced below them, purging them through the green breath. However, this was completely harmless to them. Being a long snaky Pokémon, Steelix’s Dragonbreath attack traveled in twining binds before it actually escaped from his mouth into a condensed force of energy. This was shown right here. Like the eye of a storm, being directly in the center of the Dragonbreath was of no danger to them, as the grinding gears inside of Steelix must have deliberately altered in iron condition in order to make this adjustment work out perfectly. However, Pupitar’s Sandstorm command was not pulled off yet, with the two coordinators vaulted directly above the spinning cocoon, sand picking up. The entire crowd was shocked at this closeness and toughness more.

“The sandy pits have grown to immense sandstorms! Greatness bolds on the rocks!”

“Let’s end this appeal with a bang, Pupitar! And I trust you, so go and use Sandstorm!”

“With a beautiful shiny glow, show them why they call Steelix, NERVES OF STEEL!”

Now Pupitar picked up another one of those Sandstorms. This one, it was a command, so it was much powerful than those intentional accidents. The Sandstorm hit Duking and Silva directly in the middle of the Dragonbreath, and also deflected the green waves back to Steelix, engulfing the iron snake in its own bad breath. The snake was not damaged, however, glowing a beautiful shining green as this draconic breath surrounded with a gorgeous aura. With Pupitar spinning to prevent the two coordinators from falling to their doom once more, Duking and Silva made it on the ground without missing a single standing step. The Steelix rushed to the ground, surrounding Pupitar, Silva, and Duking as if he was about to wrap them. Instead of doing so, the iron snake unleashed the harmless green aura in all directions, like streaming fireworks. The green glow was completely natural, emitting no scent of putrid at all—As many audience members might have stereotyped coming from a Steelix. With Pupitar able to spin most of it onto the audience with an instinctive Rapid Spin, the shine scattered in shards in the air, without letting go a single hatch. With this green shining with the brown sparks, they all took a bow with their Pokémon, wrapped gently around by the impending Steelix. The crowd cheered for their bravery and clear toughness, even after the green sparkles faded away.

“Whoa! What a brilliantly shining way to end an appeal! Great job, you two! Let’s see what the judges, whom are Contesta, Sukizo, and Officer Jenny say about it!”

“It was wonderfully done. It fit the sandy environment perfectly, along with trust within Pokémon. Truly showing the toughness and braveness between Coordinator and Pokémon, it was a great sight to behold. However, some parts of the appeal were choppy and did not contribute to the rest of it. Also, it was based more on quantity, not quality.”

“All I can say after that is…I like it!”

“Although it may not have appeared to be safe, it was probably purposely done. You have shown the bond between Pokémon and Coordinator clearly, and that is why you two are so famous around the Orre region. You have been known for saving Pokémon and beating down criminals because of this dangerously added trust, and I applaud you.”

“Those seem like some good marks! Let’s move onto the next hot and dry pair…”

 

[Irisfatum]

It would become quickly obvious that the next performance would be something of an…‘avant garde’ affair. The stadium lights suddenly clicked off, shadowing the arena in a blanket of blank, excluding the occasional flashes of camera lights. Just as suddenly, a spotlight illuminated the stage, the light forming the shape and color of purple-pink heart with a jagged, black streak marking it through the center in the style of a sloppy rip.

The Coordinator himself remained rather gracefully at the center of the specialized spotlight, the pointy crack running squarely down his middle. He was already bowed, ankles crossed together, arm draped across his chest, remaining as such. The clothing probably didn’t assist anyone’s opinion on the subject of his sanity, blatantly dressed in a jet-black ballroom tuxedo, the coat still buttoned up the center, the ensemble complete with glimmering dress shoes, black tie, and leather gloves. To add to that natural eccentricity, he wore a mask over his eyes…pale grin, rimmed with flamboyant red feathers. The mask was relatively small, but large enough to obscure any opinions concerning the merit of his physical appearance. In the very least, he seemed young…young enough to be some rich spoiled brat looking for something entertaining to do, though his hopes for success were more serious than to be expected. He began speaking in an almost noxiously poetic voice, painfully enunciating each and every syllable.

“Frailty! Thy name is woman! Hence is the quote; hence is the culturally accepted pseudo-truth! Though, in the throes of such relationship, there are always two partners…two sides, two people to take the humiliating fault! So, I would present that while this quote may have merit in some situations, it takes two to pull a heart in twain! I submit that frailty…thy name is human! And, in expression of this, I would bestow an example…an exploration into the frailty and fickleness of human nature, into the crippling, disgusting weakness that prevails through the loves and miseries of life!”

Finally, through a slightly long-winded speech, the man ceased his bow, pushing stringy strands of silky, chartreuse hair from his mask-covered eyes with an expectant opening of his arms and a smile…only to receive several more flashes of handheld cameras.

He growled, giving an indignant glare to the surrounding audience, a vein of anger pulsing subtly on his forehead. Did no one appreciate eloquence anymore? Regardless, he went about with the performance, reaching beneath his jacket to remove a Pokeball from his pocket, pressing it to his forehead. “Dance for me, Gardevoir…”

He tossed the ball high into the air, it bursting open to reveal the sylph-like Psychic Pokemon, elegantly poised with its arms across its chest. “Dear one, use Safeguard…”

The Coordinator did not yell his commands, only quietly spoke them…though the Pokemon heard and eagerly obeyed, head cast back and body alighting in a fluorescent, almost supernatural glow, the spotlight fading for the entire stadium to be lit solely by the green flare of the calm protective move. One had to wonder if he was a minimalist, and this was all he had intended to show…though that was happily dashed away once the music filtered in from the background, a classic Waltz set to an antique orchestra.

The Coordinator grinned, stepping forward, actually offering his hand to the Gardevoir, the feminine Pokemon accepting it with a well-practiced bow. He took a long step forward, opposite hand grasping the Gardevoir’s wrist. “Keep on rhythm. Use Psychic…”

With that, both graceful figures hugged by that ethereal glow, the Coordinator began to lead the dance, twirling the Gardevoir by the hand and taking a step back, commencing a classical ballroom dance in midair…like an image from a precious music box, two twirling figures encased in unnatural light, propelling themselves high above any seat in the arena, the Coordinator moving to supporting the Pokemon by the center of its back with his forearm in a drastic dip. “…Double Team…”

Another figure joined the fray, mirror copy of the original Gardevoir, the Coordinator twisting his head away from the original…bluntly releasing his grip and dropping her to the ground, a dramatic plummet from the sky before it simply vanished without a trace as its betraying dance partner moved to another, grasping the freshly formed copy in the same method as the music swelled to higher crescendos. It happened again…three copies this time, surrounded the Coordinator in a circle as he danced in increasingly fast swirls and dips and the occasional ballet-influenced dive and bend. It became frantic…switching dance partners every few seconds, allowing so many limp bodies to fall to the ground in a metaphorical death, flashing away like flippant dust before they even touched the stage.

The Coordinator was surrounded now…an endless swarm of beautiful, glowing copies of the same Pokemon…all refusing his hand in dance, even as he fell to his knees and begged, at least trying to keep the dramatic scene afloat by barely whispering the final command. “Imprison.”

He gave a lurch, a cry of pain that drowned the heavy flow of the music, forced into a standing position, arms crossed about his chest, ankles twisted painfully together, head bent drastically back…a ball of trapping light encasing him. Nearly all the lights vanished, including the wraithlike glow of the Safeguard, a final cry of blood-curdling pain heard in the dark, with all left to be seen being the Coordinator’s mask floating downward to be lit by the heart-shaped spotlight.

…Yep…‘avant garde’

 

[Groudonny the groundstar]

Jay is my character's name for one thing.Now time for the contesting."Go Chicko"! Jay shouted while jumping up into the air excitedly and throwing her chickorita's green poke'ball.Chicko appeared and waved her leaf cutely,some people in the audience laughed,others yelled rude comments.Jay was discouraged but still tried to put on an outstanding show."Chicko hit it with a Poison Powder then a Razor Leaf"!Jay encouraged.Chicko waved her leaf and purple shimmering powder went everywhere,next little green leaves flew out of her leafe and the leaves turned purple."Now finish it with Charm"!Jay commanded.Chicko made those puss in boots eyes from Shrek 2 and the appeal was over.

 

[Razor Shiftry]

ok...time to get rid of a lil back log 'ere...

"Finally- well let's go Venomoth, we have to go to arena two."

"Veno Venomoth"

David Stands up as he watched the latest battle finish up on the televison in the locker room.Irratated at that he had the final battle, he rushes of with Venomoth to arena two to find that there is the normal Judges panel, and a scoreboard- but everything else is changed. Instead of the normal arena, this field was a large battle floor, with white tiles, and a pool of water in the middle. As the referee Stands, he looks at David, then his opponet. As the flags are raised, two poke balls open to reveal a Hypno, and David's Venomoth.

"arrgh, a type Disadvantage, anyway- Venomoth, Sleep powder, then silver wind now!"

"what a newbie, Hypno, confusion then focus punch, you know what to do."

Venomoth moves first, launching a blue powder at the Hypno, who stands there unaffected. Venomoth stops the attack, confused until he sees that Hypno isn't effected. Angered, Venomoth fires a silverly twister at Hypno, expecting a retaliation. Hypno sighs, and swings his pendelum as the twister closes in on him. Then the twister stops, glows blue and twirls back into the stunned bug. Venomoth is trapped inside, as Hypno pulls the silver ball towards his glowing fist. Hypno punches the ball, causing an explosion, that sends shards of light right into Venomoth, who falls back down to earth with a crash. David Winces as his points are reduced by a third. Venomoth struggles to its wings, and immediately vanishes, slamming into Hypno as a bright flash stuns the psychic, causing him to stagger around

"Hypno, Hypnosis the water."

"Venomoth, gust"

"Hypno, change to confusion then focus punch again!"

Venomoth starts to spiral around, but just as the wind spins, it is caught by the confusion, and yet again an orb of wind envelops the bug. David then calls out to Venomoth.

"Venomoth, flash attack now"

suddenly the orb glows brightly, and the ball explodes, sending shards of light into both pokemon. Both slam down to the ground, and the events are shown on the scoring, with David's bar being slightly below his opponet's with 30 seconds left.

"Venomoth, Hidden power to finish, hurry"

"Hypno, COUNTER"

Venomoth flips in midair, and fires a flurry of orbs that land right on Hypno's head, engulfing it in a white orb that grew larger and larger until it almost exploded.....almost. Hypno suddenly teleports, and the orb just floats above him. Hypno swallowed the energy, and as the time ran down

7.....

Hypno's fist glowed brown

5.....

Venomoth flies upward, and fires another hidden power


4.....

Hypno's energy beam is launched


3.....
the orbs and the blast collide


2.....
the orbs are repelled towards the screeching Venomoth


1.....

a large explosion is heard, and a giant cloud covers the area where Venomoth had been seen. Suddenly a purple being floated for a few seconds, then fell silently to earth, His Trainer catching him, as the reminant of the blast explodes in light, sparking around the stadium, as the Judges announce

"the winner is Phillip Hasenritter of Violet City, and his Hypno, with a score of 55 points remaning, to David and Venomoth's 10 points. David will go to the losers bracket of this double elimination tournament in the next round. Congratulations to both trainers....

David looks down at Venomoth's friend ball as he sits next to its hospital bed, wondering who he would use in his next round........

well, this is osmething different i must say. not exactly an appeal but a contest battle. i liked it. it had a good sense of pace and excitement and didn't have that 'rushed writing' feel either. i also liked how you made your character seem more realistic in the fact that you made him lose even though the Venomoth put up a good fight. however, you could have been a bit more descriptive on the attacks and your grammar needs a little cleaning up
Score: 78

Tiago walked out onto the stage. He looked around at the immense crowd then looked each judge in the eye. He reached for his belt and took out a pokeball. It expanded in his hand and he threw it into the air. "Go Clamp!" Out of the pokeball came a Crawdaunt clamping his claws.

"Ok Clamp send out a bubblebeam"

Clamp opened his right claw and shout hundreds of bubbles into the air.

"Now use crabhammer on the bubbles"

Clamp leaped into the air. His right claw glowed a bright shine and he punched each and every bubble. This caused thousands of drops to glisten in the light all the way to the floor.

"While you're in the air use surf"

Clamp shot out gallon after gallon of water which filled the entire stage.

"Now use Ice Beam and while your falling in use Protect"

Clamp then shot out an Ice Beam which began to freeze the water. He then used protect ceateing an orb around him. He splashed in the water which then froze.

After people could see the stage visibly the water was now frozen. In the middle there was a frozen splash in the shape of an egg. In the middle was a frozen Clapm in the middle of the protect orb.

"Lets finish off. Use rock smash"

After a few moments Clamp shot his arm throught the ice sending the ice fly everywhere.

"Now use Hyper Beam on the falling pieces of ice"

Clamp lept up and opened his mouth. He charged an orange beam and shot it out at the pieces of ice. After the series of small explosions disappeared, small rain droplets fell down over the crowd.

Clamp landed next to Tiago and they both bowed to the crowed. "Great job Clamp!" Clamp then yelled out happily" Craw-Craw-Dauunnnt!"

hmm...a little too choppy for my liking and waaaaay to little description. plus the whole ice-shattering-woo-pretty appeal has been done soooo many times and you didn't have the sense of style and descriptions to make i work well.
Score: 32

Ok I want to do some of this with um my Hitmonchan on a thoguh contest, here goes nothing.
--------------------------------------------------------

"Go Hitmonchan," Jade said as he summoned his hitmonchan from the dull life inside his pokeball. "Ok use your Earthquake attack," jade announced.

Hitmonchan then suddenlystarted punching the ground, it unsettled and displaced. Some boulders came out of the ground do to this.

"Now use strength to throw the rocks that came out and then follow it with a mach punch to destroy the rocks," jade said to Hitmonchan.

Hitmonchan used strength and threw the rocks in the air then one by one he broke using mach punch ending in a shower of rocks falling from the sky around Hitmonchan.

"Now use fire punch to one side, ice punch to the other, and thunder punch to the remaining rocks falling," jade said for the finnaly.

Hitmonchan fire punched one side of the falling rocks to burn them to dust, then he used ice punch to the other side freezing them, then melting, and fiannaly he used the thunder punch on some of the rocks left which fell to the water which was covered with burnt dust to create a barrier of lighting that covered Hitmonchan, soon it faded. Hitmonchan put on a fighting stance and then left with Jade.

----------------------------------------------------
So how diid I do this is the first time I do this.

how did you do? not so good i'm afriad. the biggest problem was that you just didn't put any life into this appeal, no emotions and expressions and also you put ion the absolute minimum of description. plus you need to check on your grammar.
Score: 30

“Alright, it’s almost time for the Pyrite Town appealing preliminaries to end! Let’s announce coordinator pair number 49 onto the stage…Duking and Silva, come out!”

Two people walked out from the backstage onto the central arena. One of them was a bodybuilder shaped man with a European feather hat on, sporting a business suit tightly and sharply dressed onto himself as he approached with a rather strange atmosphere around him; it was one of honor and determination—as he walked onto the stage, he held his arms out into the air with one of them holding a PokéBall, the blue suit had rushing veins streaming themselves onto his chest, as if he put on the suit at the last second. The second person was a rather stale yet suited person also dressed in a business suit, although it was much smaller and in baby blue color, with gray hair, expensive black boots, and a weak yet cute face sported on him in elegant disguise; he wore black sunglasses over him, taking out a PokéBall as he held it in his hand sharply before the both of them threw it. Clearly, these two almost last coordinators meant big business, but what they were about to show off was going to be a shielded, yet professional mystery.

“Show them how it works—Go Pupitar!” released Duking, the bodybuilder-shaped man.

“Alright, go Skarmory!” released Silva, the emaciated boy with a powerful throw.

Both of the Pokémon were quickly released onto the stage, with Pupitar vibrantly showing its colors by immediately picking up a sandstorm—this was not from the effect of Sand Stream, which was Tyranitar’s special ability—His eventual evolution. The effect was simply caused from the loud crashing Pupitar made onto the ground, picking up the dust and scattering it all over. The beginning of the appeal had the two coordinators completely blurred out by the brown dust, yet you could see their maroon shadows inside of the smog. When it began to clear off, Skarmory jumped out of the sandy trail and made his way onto the top of the arena, where he was highly above the sandstorm’s wrath. It quickly cleared off to reveal the two coordinators, whom were not affected by the raging fury of the sandstorm, with Duking and Silva knowingly making sure they knew what they were doing when the two of them braced themselves. With a swell swagger, the both of them walked out along with the landed forceful Pupitar.

“What a way to repel an attack! Not only was it shiny, but it was controlled randomly!”

“My Pupitar, use your Sandstorm attack, and make a REAL one this time!”

“Go Skarmory, use Swift onto Pupitar while he’s wrapped by the Sandstorm!”

The appeal began with Skarmory flying even higher into the air. With Pupitar commencing his quick spinning, a brown and harsh Sandstorm began to start with the same speed and pressure. As per the toughness of a Pokémon, Pupitar had it as he put as much energy as he could into the spin. The spinning was a powerful drill surging through the ground and picking up all of the sand underneath, along with the powerful dust collected inside of the hardened Pokémon. The only thing remaining that prevented Pupitar from being damaged was the eye of the storm completely safely providing a haven for the Pokémon, quickly and topping the energy forced to make it. With Skarmory at a high enough level, some of the sand Pupitar picked up was hitting his iron clawed feet, although it did not hurt the steel bird for one tiny grain of sand in a second.

“And Pupitar pulls off the powerful Sandstorm attack with intentional ideas this time!”

Now Skarmory unleashed some golden stars from his mouth directly at the sandstorm, with the drilling sands reflecting the yellow stars back to where they came from. This was exactly what Silva planned in mind—The sandstorm was not exactly what you would consider to be a perfect reflection, with the sand picking up randomly. Instead of the golden stars being countered right back at Skarmory, they began to accumulate with the powerful dust shaking the glowing stars back and forth once more and again. Afterwards, Pupitar stopped his powerful spinning, causing the stars to immediately follow the descending path of the sandstorm onto the dusty ground. This dust collected around the stars, with Skarmory releasing more from his mouth. With the sandstorm as a shield, Pupitar did the same result again, except this time he span more brilliantly to cause the shooting stars to reflect at the corners of the room before they forcefully bounced back onto the center and shattered into silver metals Skarmory deliberately added inside.

“Whoa! Will you take a look at the piñata of silver shards Skarmory added inside!”

“Go Skarmory, use your Swift attack once more for another direction!”

“This time, I’ll catch them. Then Pupitar, show them your reflecting skills!”

Now Duking decided to take out some of his stars, although they were weakened versions. He threw some of them into the air, with Silva catching them along the tough process. Now the both of them threw these glittering gold at their respective Pokémon simultaneously, having both of their Pokémon repel the dust into the air. Inside of these packages were glassy pieces, in which both coordinators elegantly dodged as the stars were attacked. These stars had controlled offense being directed back at them—With Skarmory using Steel Wing to break them back while Pupitar simply hovered into the air and span rapidly. Both of these coordinators clearly knew how to train their Pokémon, being able to commune with their level in power of throwing and attacking offensively as well. It was like the appearance of a Pokémon Battle in which both Pokémon had to face off against their trainers, except the reflecting silver shards had brimming meaning of bonds and friendships etched inside. They stopped, ready for the next part of the appeal.

Doing yet another powerful spin, Skarmory unleashed more golden stars, except this time they were aimed at Duking. While the entire crowd gasped, everyone was amazed when they discovered Duking had the ability to catch their airborne stars before they hit the ground. Having them in his hands, he threw all of them directly at Pupitar, whom began spinning his drilling body again into the ground. Not digging into the ground, but Pupitar was able to shoot the stars back at Duking, in which they all shattered into silver shards mere millimeters before striking the man. How Duking put so much trust into a Pokémon obviously appearing reckless was a question, but the silver was eventually accumulated with the winds of Pyrite Colosseum and picked them back up into the air. These began to spin and shower Skarmory with a bathe of the silver shards he unleashed, granting beautiful shines on the two coordinators and their respective Pokémon. The silver shards spread. With Duking and Silva bowing with Skarmory and Pupitar, the appeal ended.

“Both Silva and Duking showed their attacking capabilities along with their Pokémon!”

“It was a good appeal, with synergy from both the coordinators and their Pokémon. But there were a few things you left out on, though—It looked as if you were simply using the thrown shards for filler. In other words, it had nothing to do with the ending act, even when you were relentlessly proving yourself. It did use quite toughness inside, though.”

“It was swiftly remarkable!”

“Well I have to say, you two are good citizens of Pyrite Town. Although I never knew you were coordinators as well, it was a great appeal proved by your power in the battling appeal—The kind you show everyday whenever Pyrite Town has criminals we need to take down. This is why we can depend on your focused strength for our guided safety.”

*sigh* i reallywill run out of things to say to you H_S and i think that time is coming soon. you've done another brilliant appeal, which, using sand (which, after ice and fire and water, is the most common) to a brilliant extent and with near perfect description, clear, metally visual and with a real sense of emotion and expression as if you're in the crowd, watching these two co-ordinators make this sandy appeal. i think, however, i saw one/two spelling mistakes...and plus, like i said, sand is used quite a bit anyway...meh, well done dude
Score:92

 

[Razor Shiftry]

ok, finishing off the back log....

Luck's face was filled with Ebony hair and a lukewarm glare, her hair was longer, much more then it had been, and her face, much different. "Good luck." She smiled down at the pokemon, sitting near her feet. It was a Bulbasuar, very little, but very experienced. This, being her first pokemon, was stonger then it looked, and yet, it didn't evolve, and Luck was happy with that. A small Tv in the corner of the room caught her eye, It was their turn.

Silence fell as she walked to the enterance of the stage, 'And now, Welcome Luck!' One of the judges called from the bench, which was sitting in the middle of the room, the stage infact. Luck's lukewarm glare changed, she wanted to start, and to make this a good start indeed.

"Let's Go!" Luck calls, the Bulbasaur shoots onto the stage, it's speed well balanced as it pauses, waiting the starting command. As it waits, the pokemon shifts it's weight gently from foot to foot. Either being well trained, or well mannered, becase other then that, the pokemon was still. Reaching down, Luck drew a pokeball, raising it high, the girl throws it on the stage.
This moment her pokemon reacts, swiftly wrappings it's own two vines around the ball, until slowly, even the light is caught within.

Small gaps open in the vines, letting a ray of stars fly out, soon to be filling the area of air, above the stage but below the roof. In the mix of stars, a little pokemon had jumped out, and was pirched upon the bulbasuars vines, which were linked together. The vines changed, they lowered, both the pokemon did a jump, as if skipping rope, then landed next to each other, almost back to back, with a look of nervousness across their face. The two pokemon, those from her training team had never appeared infront of many people and done tricks, they battled, and were good at it.

The Pachirisu nodded, Raising it's small paws upwards, winding sleeks of electric rope shot up, mixing and twisting around them. Bulbasaur's eyes glow slightly, before two seeds shoot up, landing upon some stars, and following the light in the wrapping motion, surrounding them, making the sky look like that of a forest. The Squirrel like pokemon then leaps landing upon the vines and stars, as lightening flows around it, The Bulbasaur looks up, then, slowly, glass like shields appear, they flow gently over to the collecting where the Pachirisu was standing, they close together, fitting everything into one.
Once in the box, the pokemon spins, all the mix flows around it, like pasta to a fork, with graceful twists. A slight flash, as the Pachirisu appears ontop of the box, although, still being in the middle of the forest like box.

The crowd whisper slightly, Bulbasuar's vines raise, they wrap around the box gently, and the Pachirisu sits down, closes it's eyes and hums, Working up an attack while keeping the sub in place, gracefully spinning in the middle of the cube of grass, light and stars. The Bulbasaur spins, the box flows due to being perched in it's grip, soon only what looks like a line appears, the Squirrel like pokemon, still sitting on the top, it's grip relaxed, but keeping it's pose strong. Suddenly a huge beam shoots down, hitting the box, it fills with colour, and bulbasaur slows to a stop. The box floats, Bulbasaurs grip relaxes, Pachirisu's body glows. It leaps, as bulbasaur drops the box to the ground, they both turn, Pachirisu lands upon bulbasaur as it shoots leaves at the box, the other pokemon, Follows up by an electric attack, which turns the leaves into an electric weapon. They hit the box with a smash, the shield dissapears, the crowd gasp slightly at the strength of the bulbasaur's Razor leaf.

As the last leaf hits the box, the inside of the what used to be cube, smashes up, and flies around, Electric Stars fall around, small twisted vines caught in the edges. One last trick, Bulbasaur starts to let a sweet melody flow, shooting from it's bulb are little puffs of radiant yellow and purple, they mix, covering the stage, as the tune continues to follow, followe in by a second hum, both the pokemon's tune fill the stage. After a few minutes, the glowing puffs of power would be cleared, so the trio slipped away, the tune still haunting the stage as they do.

--

Not my best, But meh. I wasn't in the best mood.

lol, not your best and yet you REALLY are getting the hang of this i must say!HArley! be scared! you have a rival! XP anyways, that, as i was trying to say, was a darn good appeal and i loved it. the symbolism and teamwork of the two pokemon were clearly highlighted and there was lots of degrees of emtion and expressions with the feelings and sounds of the audience and also some description of different senses. all i have to really worry about is your use of comma's. basically, you used WAY to much and where they weren't needed. so instead of using so many comma's, to build up tension and pace of the writing and reading, shorten the sentences or if you want to do the opposite, then lengthen them. meh, don't worry, i have that problem as well ^_^
Score:87

“Now it’s time for contestant pair number nine’s turn to shine—Duking and Silva!”

“Go Pupitar, show them your homeland’s power!” yelled Duking.

“Now Steelix, rock the place!” rocked Silva.

Each of them threw a PokéBall, releasing Pupitar and Steelix respectively. They entered the field with a grand sandstorm sweeping throughout the field as Skarmory flapped his wings and Pupitar drilled through the ground. There was an aura forming around Pupitar that signaled this was his home a long time ago. The powers of the sands were able to cause blinding steel to pick up. Not even the audience could see the two Pokémon so far or their coordinators. It was much like the previous appeal they made, with blinding the entire stage before anything else could happen. The powerful winds began to slowly subside, revealing the two Pokémon and their respective coordinators. With Skarmory flapping his steel wings onto the ground and Pupitar’s drilling subsiding, they made a tough and grand entrance. The sands landed on the ground, back to the starting point.

“Now Pupitar, use your Rapid Spin attacks to pick up another Sandstorm!”

“Go Steelix, use your Dig attack after Pupitar uses Sandstorm!”

The appeal began with Steelix drilling itself into the ground, although not completely budged into the ground yet. This had Pupitar drilling his body through the ground in order to pick up more Sandstorms, making the cover for when Steelix forced himself into the rocky ground in a powerful matter. The drilling gears emitted from Steelix were the only things anybody could sense when it was digging through the ground. As Pupitar continued drilling through the ground, it was as if he was trying to cover Steelix’s tracks as the steel snake rushed through the rocky ground without any signs of resurfacing again. When Pupitar stopped drilling, the sand subsided to everyone’s relief, even though the picking sand damaged nobody. With Steelix still underground, there were many holes sticking out of the sandy brick rocks. These were obviously caused by Steelix, and from above there was an entire sand pit in a plethora etched onto the ground. They did not form any sort of pattern, but Pupitar was about to pull off what they began with earlier.

“The appeal begins with a tough looking Dig attack from Steelix!”

The next part of the appeal involved Steelix budging out those holes he caused with a powerful explosive and drilling purge. This forceful blow caused the entire hole to explode into tiny bits of dust as the gears grinded across the ground, sweeping up the brown sands and sweeping them into the air. Before any of this was able to hit the crowd, Pupitar leaped in the way and used Rapid Spin to repel the dust. The crowd was not afraid of these sheer-flying motes, having already been accustomed to seeing much of this sand sweep into their face. With them up in protection, Steelix dived back into the ground and forced himself back out many times, having Pupitar repel the sands by spinning them back. Although the audience was unaware, the sand Pupitar was flipping around was forming a shape in the sky. It was rather unpredictable, considering most people might have thought the holes digging was the shaping area. However, it would have been unoriginal, predictable, and inelegantly rough and not tough performance.

“Whoa, this is amazing! The sand was forced onto the ground to make a shape!”

This shape was not the typical etch into the ground appeal. It was delightfully light, and standing up in a three-dimensional moment. Fitting the sandy conditions the location gave out, Duking and Silva had their Pokémon make a sandy and standing sand castle stand in the center of the arena, fitting with all of the sandy environments in a magical way. The Steelix quickly dove into the sand castle, causing everyone to scream as to why it would do so. However, there was a chasm carved directly into the center of the huge sand castle, allowing the steel snake to sneak back into the hole without missing a single gear. This way, Steelix was able to dig underground even more and make the formation and base of the earth’s surface to their advantage. With Pupitar hovering in the sky and spinning even more, the castle was about to be stormed by an army of motes, showering over the beautifully standing edifice and shattering it completely. Now that it was all the way destroyed, everybody gasped, even the judges, but the coordinators were ready.

“And just when you think Steelix was going to tumble, Pupitar hits it on the mark!”

“That was great, sensei!” “You have the next part of the appeal ready?”

With Silva nodding, the next part of the appeal was about to begin. With Silva holding out his hands to show a signal, Steelix arose directly from under the two coordinators in a surprising shock. This was done dangerously, but quickly and safely, having both Silva and Duking on top of the iron snake as he rode them around the field as if this steel serpent was a good ride. With the entire crowd relieved at their toughness and determination, Pupitar leaped into the sky and prepared to spin once more. The sand from below picked up once again and dustily showered Silva and Duking into a mini-sandstorm, blowing both of them away into the winds. The two brave coordinators appeared as if they were about to fall down to their doom, but Pupitar powerfully and elegantly controlled the sandstorm as he spun directly below them, allowing for a safe landing. The appeal was not over yet, with Steelix digging underground for the next part, as the grinding gears crushed through the natural formation of the location’s sandy dirt.

“Whoa, now that was a dangerous part! The trust in Coordinators and Pokémon shines!”

“Now let’s show them what we can really do—Steelix, use your Dragonbreath on us!”

“Let’s go Pupitar! Use Dig to go underground, then Sandstorm to deflect the breath!”

The mechanical snake was able to hover from the ground; as he did so, Steelix unleashed a green Dragonbreath attack directly at the two coordinators, as if they wanted to commit suicide. Both Duking and Silva trusted this beautiful toughness to shine as Pupitar quickly dug underground and resurfaced below them, purging them through the green breath. However, this was completely harmless to them. Being a long snaky Pokémon, Steelix’s Dragonbreath attack traveled in twining binds before it actually escaped from his mouth into a condensed force of energy. This was shown right here. Like the eye of a storm, being directly in the center of the Dragonbreath was of no danger to them, as the grinding gears inside of Steelix must have deliberately altered in iron condition in order to make this adjustment work out perfectly. However, Pupitar’s Sandstorm command was not pulled off yet, with the two coordinators vaulted directly above the spinning cocoon, sand picking up. The entire crowd was shocked at this closeness and toughness more.

“The sandy pits have grown to immense sandstorms! Greatness bolds on the rocks!”

“Let’s end this appeal with a bang, Pupitar! And I trust you, so go and use Sandstorm!”

“With a beautiful shiny glow, show them why they call Steelix, NERVES OF STEEL!”

Now Pupitar picked up another one of those Sandstorms. This one, it was a command, so it was much powerful than those intentional accidents. The Sandstorm hit Duking and Silva directly in the middle of the Dragonbreath, and also deflected the green waves back to Steelix, engulfing the iron snake in its own bad breath. The snake was not damaged, however, glowing a beautiful shining green as this draconic breath surrounded with a gorgeous aura. With Pupitar spinning to prevent the two coordinators from falling to their doom once more, Duking and Silva made it on the ground without missing a single standing step. The Steelix rushed to the ground, surrounding Pupitar, Silva, and Duking as if he was about to wrap them. Instead of doing so, the iron snake unleashed the harmless green aura in all directions, like streaming fireworks. The green glow was completely natural, emitting no scent of putrid at all—As many audience members might have stereotyped coming from a Steelix. With Pupitar able to spin most of it onto the audience with an instinctive Rapid Spin, the shine scattered in shards in the air, without letting go a single hatch. With this green shining with the brown sparks, they all took a bow with their Pokémon, wrapped gently around by the impending Steelix. The crowd cheered for their bravery and clear toughness, even after the green sparkles faded away.

“Whoa! What a brilliantly shining way to end an appeal! Great job, you two! Let’s see what the judges, whom are Contesta, Sukizo, and Officer Jenny say about it!”

“It was wonderfully done. It fit the sandy environment perfectly, along with trust within Pokémon. Truly showing the toughness and braveness between Coordinator and Pokémon, it was a great sight to behold. However, some parts of the appeal were choppy and did not contribute to the rest of it. Also, it was based more on quantity, not quality.”

“All I can say after that is…I like it!”

“Although it may not have appeared to be safe, it was probably purposely done. You have shown the bond between Pokémon and Coordinator clearly, and that is why you two are so famous around the Orre region. You have been known for saving Pokémon and beating down criminals because of this dangerously added trust, and I applaud you.”

“Those seem like some good marks! Let’s move onto the next hot and dry pair…”

*rips out hair due to the insanly brilliant appeal which i can't really find wrong*
grr, Harley, please stop showing off, i honestly can't find anything wrong with this except there needed to be some emotion to the coordinators, like they held their breath for a confidence boost as the Steelix attacked them with a dragonbreath for instance. but meh, you excel at description and what not and with every attack you do, you always make a sneaky reason how it works in the appeal which makes sense...which is cool.
Score: 94

It would become quickly obvious that the next performance would be something of an…‘avant garde’ affair. The stadium lights suddenly clicked off, shadowing the arena in a blanket of blank, excluding the occasional flashes of camera lights. Just as suddenly, a spotlight illuminated the stage, the light forming the shape and color of purple-pink heart with a jagged, black streak marking it through the center in the style of a sloppy rip.

The Coordinator himself remained rather gracefully at the center of the specialized spotlight, the pointy crack running squarely down his middle. He was already bowed, ankles crossed together, arm draped across his chest, remaining as such. The clothing probably didn’t assist anyone’s opinion on the subject of his sanity, blatantly dressed in a jet-black ballroom tuxedo, the coat still buttoned up the center, the ensemble complete with glimmering dress shoes, black tie, and leather gloves. To add to that natural eccentricity, he wore a mask over his eyes…pale grin, rimmed with flamboyant red feathers. The mask was relatively small, but large enough to obscure any opinions concerning the merit of his physical appearance. In the very least, he seemed young…young enough to be some rich spoiled brat looking for something entertaining to do, though his hopes for success were more serious than to be expected. He began speaking in an almost noxiously poetic voice, painfully enunciating each and every syllable.

“Frailty! Thy name is woman! Hence is the quote; hence is the culturally accepted pseudo-truth! Though, in the throes of such relationship, there are always two partners…two sides, two people to take the humiliating fault! So, I would present that while this quote may have merit in some situations, it takes two to pull a heart in twain! I submit that frailty…thy name is human! And, in expression of this, I would bestow an example…an exploration into the frailty and fickleness of human nature, into the crippling, disgusting weakness that prevails through the loves and miseries of life!”

Finally, through a slightly long-winded speech, the man ceased his bow, pushing stringy strands of silky, chartreuse hair from his mask-covered eyes with an expectant opening of his arms and a smile…only to receive several more flashes of handheld cameras.

He growled, giving an indignant glare to the surrounding audience, a vein of anger pulsing subtly on his forehead. Did no one appreciate eloquence anymore? Regardless, he went about with the performance, reaching beneath his jacket to remove a Pokeball from his pocket, pressing it to his forehead. “Dance for me, Gardevoir…”

He tossed the ball high into the air, it bursting open to reveal the sylph-like Psychic Pokemon, elegantly poised with its arms across its chest. “Dear one, use Safeguard…”

The Coordinator did not yell his commands, only quietly spoke them…though the Pokemon heard and eagerly obeyed, head cast back and body alighting in a fluorescent, almost supernatural glow, the spotlight fading for the entire stadium to be lit solely by the green flare of the calm protective move. One had to wonder if he was a minimalist, and this was all he had intended to show…though that was happily dashed away once the music filtered in from the background, a classic Waltz set to an antique orchestra.

The Coordinator grinned, stepping forward, actually offering his hand to the Gardevoir, the feminine Pokemon accepting it with a well-practiced bow. He took a long step forward, opposite hand grasping the Gardevoir’s wrist. “Keep on rhythm. Use Psychic…”

With that, both graceful figures hugged by that ethereal glow, the Coordinator began to lead the dance, twirling the Gardevoir by the hand and taking a step back, commencing a classical ballroom dance in midair…like an image from a precious music box, two twirling figures encased in unnatural light, propelling themselves high above any seat in the arena, the Coordinator moving to supporting the Pokemon by the center of its back with his forearm in a drastic dip. “…Double Team…”

Another figure joined the fray, mirror copy of the original Gardevoir, the Coordinator twisting his head away from the original…bluntly releasing his grip and dropping her to the ground, a dramatic plummet from the sky before it simply vanished without a trace as its betraying dance partner moved to another, grasping the freshly formed copy in the same method as the music swelled to higher crescendos. It happened again…three copies this time, surrounded the Coordinator in a circle as he danced in increasingly fast swirls and dips and the occasional ballet-influenced dive and bend. It became frantic…switching dance partners every few seconds, allowing so many limp bodies to fall to the ground in a metaphorical death, flashing away like flippant dust before they even touched the stage.

The Coordinator was surrounded now…an endless swarm of beautiful, glowing copies of the same Pokemon…all refusing his hand in dance, even as he fell to his knees and begged, at least trying to keep the dramatic scene afloat by barely whispering the final command. “Imprison.”

He gave a lurch, a cry of pain that drowned the heavy flow of the music, forced into a standing position, arms crossed about his chest, ankles twisted painfully together, head bent drastically back…a ball of trapping light encasing him. Nearly all the lights vanished, including the wraithlike glow of the Safeguard, a final cry of blood-curdling pain heard in the dark, with all left to be seen being the Coordinator’s mask floating downward to be lit by the heart-shaped spotlight.

…Yep…‘avant garde’

...



wow. that was....wow. now this is a PERFECT example of 'quality over quanity'. that was...perfect. well, close enough. twas a little short but everything else that i normally comment on was....perfect. the whole feel of the appeal was of elagence and grace with formalities that suited the appeal even more. i loved the emotional changes, especially near the end with the imprisonment and the scream of pain which made my mind visulise incredibly clearly of the pain and sorrow, smashing glass...meh, well, you have the emotion, the expression, the spelling and grammar, the feelings that the charcters obey, and intro, and outro, development with smooth transition and amazing, top marks mental visualisation.
Score: 98

Jay is my character's name for one thing.Now time for the contesting."Go Chicko"! Jay shouted while jumping up into the air excitedly and throwing her chickorita's green poke'ball.Chicko appeared and waved her leaf cutely,some people in the audience laughed,others yelled rude comments.Jay was discouraged but still tried to put on an outstanding show."Chicko hit it with a Poison Powder then a Razor Leaf"!Jay encouraged.Chicko waved her leaf and purple shimmering powder went everywhere,next little green leaves flew out of her leafe and the leaves turned purple."Now finish it with Charm"!Jay commanded.Chicko made those puss in boots eyes from Shrek 2 and the appeal was over.

Score: 12
i don't even have to read it though before i could score this appeal. why? its damn short, no structure, near-zero description, no intro, outro or anything. meh, i think you have better like...take a LOOK at the other appeals and have a feel at whats going on dude...

 

[Requiem's Eclipse]

Yeah! I'm back and time to appeal if i'm right.

"Now, back from a really long hiatus, Brendan from Twinleaf Town has returned to appeal," the announcer announced into the microphone. Brendan stood behind the stage, wearing a suit, made for a awards party. He could hear the deafining screams of the fans.

"Okay, so if this is going to be my great comeback, I'll need some good pokemon," Brendan thought to himself as he unlatched his pokeballs off his belt. He took a precious ball and heart ball.

"And now, here he is BRENDAN," the announcer screamed once again into the mike. All the lights centered in the center of the stage. Brendan walked out of backstage to enter the main stage.

"Let's Go! Eerie and Isis" He threw both of the pokeballs ib the air to bring out the pokemon simultaneously. Out of the Precious ball emerged his Drifblim, Eerie, it entered with a soothing cry and, from the bottom of him, let out a small burst of black mist. Next to it, the Heart ball emerged to let out a Weavile, known as Isis. Isis did a light flurry to add a wintery effect to the field. Now the field was under a light coating of snow.

"Okay let's stop the introduction and go straight for the appeal,: he yelled at the pokemon. "Eerie, use Eerie Wind, Isis, then, follow up with Icy Wind," he contniued. Eerie ascended higher in he stadium to a point where he was above the lights. Eeire song a haunting sound that made the whole audience cringe in horror. The pokemon dilated to harness the wind. Suddenly, it expelled the energy to let out an explosion of darkness from it's bottom. At first, it was a purple wind with small sparkles in it but, as it filled the stage more and more the room was pure black.

Next, Isis jumped to about the height of the television screen and then blew. Out of it's mouth, came a incessant stream of snow. It mixed with the Eerie wind to create a blue tint inside the room. The audience was astounded at what they saw. The whole stage had an icy coating on it! Still letting out the Eerie Wind, Eerie waited until you can only see the snowflakes that were still falling. In a matter of seconds, that was all you saw.

"Next, Driflblim, use Will-O-Wisp, Then, Isis use Hurl," he screamed at the two pokemon. Drifblim expelled purple colored flames out his bottom. The flames then went straight into a line. Drifblim then pushed them all into one huge purple flame. Luckily the audience could see this appeal since, of course, flames let out light. "Now Isis, do what you do," he said to the Weavile. Isis then jumped over the huge flame, that floated right above the center of the stage. Weavile then put both her clawed hands on the top of the flame ball. She pushed with all her might for about 5 mins. before she couls push it with enough force. Finally though, she shoot it straight at the floor. The flame ball multiplied into millions of small flames. They flew all around as if, they were vagrant souls looking for thier graves.

"Now for the finally, Eerie, use Gust, Then Isis use Ice Beam!" he yelled. Eerie then descended to the middle of the stage and started twirling as fast as a cheetah runs. Suddenly a twister appeared. Eeri creadted the tornado by letting out his gust and twilring. After a matter of seconds, the Eerie Wind was being sucked into the vortex and the flames were twirling around the vortex. "Now, Eerie get out of their," That was Eeire's cue to get out of the vortex. Eerie speedily got out of the Tornade in order to let Isis use her Ice Beam. "Now Isis, use Ice Beam," Brendan yelled once more. Isis blew out a pur blue beam out of her mouth and it was a direct hit to the, still spinning, vortex. The vortex forze allowing the light to shine through the Eerie Wind. The audience saw a Frozen tower with four spikes on each corner of it, at the bottom, with the purple flames still floating around it. The crowd whaled in pleasure at the display of ghost and ice. Brendan bowed, returned both of his pokemon, and then after what almost seemed as 1/4 of an hour got off the stage.

 

[Razor Shiftry]

Mirage Mew: HI! haven't seen you around in AGES! welcome back! anyways, you appeal. well, nice in general. i think that will-o-wisp would have hurt weavile a little cuz she had to hurl that ball of flame (flames>ice type). anyway, there were a few spelling and grammar mistakes. oh, and icy wind is a wind thats cold. its powder snow the attack you're looking for there in the appeal...or a low-powered blizzard...
Score: 80

 

[Groudonny the groundstar]

ok, finishing off the back log....


lol, not your best and yet you REALLY are getting the hang of this i must say!HArley! be scared! you have a rival! XP anyways, that, as i was trying to say, was a darn good appeal and i loved it. the symbolism and teamwork of the two pokemon were clearly highlighted and there was lots of degrees of emtion and expressions with the feelings and sounds of the audience and also some description of different senses. all i have to really worry about is your use of comma's. basically, you used WAY to much and where they weren't needed. so instead of using so many comma's, to build up tension and pace of the writing and reading, shorten the sentences or if you want to do the opposite, then lengthen them. meh, don't worry, i have that problem as well ^_^
Score:87

*rips out hair due to the insanly brilliant appeal which i can't really find wrong*
grr, Harley, please stop showing off, i honestly can't find anything wrong with this except there needed to be some emotion to the coordinators, like they held their breath for a confidence boost as the Steelix attacked them with a dragonbreath for instance. but meh, you excel at description and what not and with every attack you do, you always make a sneaky reason how it works in the appeal which makes sense...which is cool.
Score: 94

...



wow. that was....wow. now this is a PERFECT example of 'quality over quanity'. that was...perfect. well, close enough. twas a little short but everything else that i normally comment on was....perfect. the whole feel of the appeal was of elagence and grace with formalities that suited the appeal even more. i loved the emotional changes, especially near the end with the imprisonment and the scream of pain which made my mind visulise incredibly clearly of the pain and sorrow, smashing glass...meh, well, you have the emotion, the expression, the spelling and grammar, the feelings that the charcters obey, and intro, and outro, development with smooth transition and amazing, top marks mental visualisation.
Score: 98


Score: 12
i don't even have to read it though before i could score this appeal. why? its damn short, no structure, near-zero description, no intro, outro or anything. meh, i think you have better like...take a LOOK at the other appeals and have a feel at whats going on dude...

Well Thank You for ruining my only chance to become a cordinator and I am a GIRL.

 

[Razor Shiftry]

and what does sex have to do with it? have you seen the other appeals here? look, a decent appeal has to be minimum a page on MS word ok? yours wasn't. look at the rules on the first post dudette. if you can't follow those rules, then don't post in this thread and spam. i'm just telling it as it is.

 

[Requiem's Eclipse]

Mirage Mew: HI! haven't seen you around in AGES! welcome back! anyways, you appeal. well, nice in general. i think that will-o-wisp would have hurt weavile a little cuz she had to hurl that ball of flame (flames>ice type). anyway, there were a few spelling and grammar mistakes. oh, and icy wind is a wind thats cold. its powder snow the attack you're looking for there in the appeal...or a low-powered blizzard...
Score: 80

heh 80 is good for a half dozed off person!

 

[darkjigglypuff]

The crowd, for the third time, was left wondering where the dark, shadowy trainer, Matthew, could be. Like his previous entrance, he would probably come form the sky, so the crowd had their eyes on the glass dome ceiling. Then, a small earthquake hit. The ground on the rectangular stadium began to crack. In the center of the stage was a picture of a pink pokeball wrapped in a pink ribbon, which took up a fifth of the stadium. Suddenly, the picture and the part of the stadium it was on were impaled by eight pillar-like rocks jutting up from the ground that reached about 12 feet tall.

Then, like a flower, they “bloomed”, to reveal a deep hole in the ground. Out of that hole, came a monster that looked like it just popped out of a Godzilla movie. The beast stood at 6'7" feet, and had a massive body. It’s head spikes just above the eyes and the series of spikes jutting from behind obviously would make physical contact from behind suicidal, though the front wasn’t much more welcoming. It’s crimson eyes could paralyze any who are foolish enough to make eye contact, and the pair of 2 inch canines sticking out from it’s mouth looked sharp enough to chop a man’s arm off, and with it’s powerful jaw, there’s no doubt it could. It’s neck was almost wasn’t there. Below seemed to be four holes in it’s rock-like armor, most likely to vent air to the soft flesh below the plating. The armor continued down it’s arms, which seemed a little too small for the body, but were still equipped with deadly claws. It’s short, stubby legs supported the massive body, and were armor plated in only the thigh area, as well as having the holes in the armor. It’s long, thick, and powerful tail was mostly armored until the end, leaving the fleshy tip. The only vulnerable part of it’s body was it’s soft underbelly.

This Pokemon was none other than a Tyrannitar, a Pokemon which only few could get, and fewer could tame one. The monster’s crimson eyes scanned the audience. The crowd, shocked from the entrance, stared at the might creature for a few seconds when-

“TTTYYRRRANNA!” The beast bellowed in a deafening roar which made all every one in the audience recoil and cover their ears. Some even reached for their on Pokemon, in case the Tyrant reptile went out of control and attacked the audience, which they were known to do.

“Zillias, calm down,” Came a voice from inside the hole. Out of the hole came a black, pointed glove, then another. Out of the hole came a young boy. His short light-brown hair was all smoothed down, except for the back, in which three long hairs stuck out. His purple and green eyes shone with darkness, confidence, and experience. His oddly shaped jet-black suit, which was seemingly modeled after the chest of the Red Eyes Black Dragon, a creature from the Yu-Gi-Oh! series, reflected some light from the sun above, which shone through the dome. His pants were the same color as his suit, and hugged his legs tightly. His boots (which were, of course, black) seemed to be the kind of boot they wore in the middle ages, except a heck of a lot shinier, and not curling at the toes, but instead pointed. To top it off, a black cape hung from his neck, which stretched down to his knees, and seemed to have a hood on it. The only visible part of his body was his peach colored face. He was none other than the secretive Matthew, who, outside of the contests, seemed to have no true identity.

His multi colored eyes beamed at Tyrannitar, and a smile curved at the edges of his lips. “ Zillias?” He said, with a hissing in the ‘s’.
The massive Tyrannitar turned to face it’s master. Despite being face to face with the beast, the young boy did not waver. Zillias made a low grumbling sound, barely audible, to show that he was ready to serve.

The boy’s mind buzzed with ideas on what to have it do. In a second, he snapped his fingers, a plan in his head.

“Zillias, use a Thunderbolt into the clouds, then use Steel Claw in the air and Iron Tail on the ground,” Matthew simply stated, emotionless.

With a roar, Zillias obeyed. His body began to brim with electricity. Suddenly, he turned yellow, and unleashed the medium-sized bolt into the sky. Quickly, his tail and left claw glowed a bright white. It and put the tail on the ground and the claw in the air. Now, a bolt 10 times bigger than the Thunderbolt came down and struck the claw. Zillias held a claw in such a way, that it looked like he was holding the lightning. He suffered no pain, as the tail directed all the electricity into the ground. After a few seconds, the lightning bolt gave out, and the beast’s claw and tail ceased to glow.

“Hmph, now use Substitute and Curse,” Matthew said, with a little more emotion. Zillias again obeyed, and, somehow, a plush version of the mighty beast came to be out of thin air between the creature’s legs as it uttered some strange words that didn’t seem to be within the vocabulary of a Tyrannitar. Soon, an odd, purple mist came out of nowhere and began to shroud Zillias.

Without hesitation, Matthew gave out another order: “Use Protect!” Matthew shouted with a sense of urgency this time.

Zillias Began to glow green, and an energy barrier surrounded him. To the crowds’ surprise, the mist, now unable to get to Tyrannitar, went for the next best thing: The substitute doll. The cloud surrounded the doll and infused with it. Then, a VERY odd thing happened: The doll came to life.

The “newborn” doll looked around, confused. The audience sighed at the cute creature. Unfortunately, the moment didn’t last long, as the substitute disappeared into Zillias, and the ime ran out.

“Heh, I guess my time is up. Zillias, let’s clear out while the judges decide our score,” Matthew said crossing his arms. He then averted his eyes to the crater. “Good thing we wet last...” He murmured. “Oh well,” He sighed. Then, with another strange exit, Zillias stomped the ground and both him and Matthew were, believe it or not, enveloped in ‘roses’ of rocks, like the one they came in, and sunk back into the ground.


------------------------------

I hope I detailed it good enough...

 

[Razor Shiftry]

well then, 'ere aye am agin, with sum more judging!
darkJP: meh, you had entrance...although i have seen that one before, it was good! you had a costume as well which will score you points for me cuz thats just funny XP lovely description of Tyranitar, the beast of Johto. however, the appeal was rather...lacking. if you could make the appeal about twice as long and as detailed as your descriptions of Tyrantiar, i think HS should start worrying ^_^
Score:67

 

[Jay star]

Jamie walks out onto the stage, filled with excitement and a certain sense of pride in himself and his Pokemon.

“Let’s start this off Torkoal!” said Jamie enlarging a pokeball from inside his jacket, he placed it quickly and smoothly into a clear blue case and clamped it shut over the pokeball, he then placed a small sticker of a flame on it and threw it powerfully into the centre of the stage.

The pokeball shot towards the stage and as it reached the centre it flashed open and in a flash of light flames started to erupt from the pokeball and started to gather into a ball, as they did this the ball exploded like a bomb to reveal a Torkoal that did a forward flip before slamming onto the ground.

“Ok Torkoal lets give it a powerful start with Rapid spin followed by fire spin!” shouted Jamie catching the pokeball and spinning gracefully with it placing it smoothly in his jacket.

“Torkoal” It replied and it withdrew into its shell and started to spin, hovering a few inches off of the ground.

“Ok now use fire spin!” shouted Jamie punching the air in front of him, Torkoal reacted immediately.

From within the shell, came a burst of flames that started to enclose the shell of the Tortoise Pokemon.
Soon the flames surrounding the spinning shell had stretched up had turned into a twister of flames.

“Now rise from the flames Torkoal!” shouted Jamie swinging his fist up this time.

Torkoal, still spinning inside the flames started to get higher and higher within the inferno tornado, once at the top he burst out from his shell and stopped spinning.

“Ok now use over heat for a soft landing!” shouted Jamie going back into a neutral pose.

“Torkoal!” shouted Torkoal as it charged a ball of orange energy in its mouth, the holes on its back glowing red Torkoal shot a beam of raging heat down the eye of the inferno tornado.

As the attack shot through the spinning flames, the power of the over heat made the flames scatter into embers filling the entire stage with floating embers making it appear to be snowing with hot magma.

“Now shake them up, Earthquake!”

Torkoal came now to the centre of the stage again, giving himself nearly a soft landing with over heat, relinquished the attack and landed scattering the final flames upwards and landing in what was now a smoking crater in the middle of the stage, stomping his feet as he landed he sent off a ground shake that caused the earth around him to crack even more and send dust flying from the ground.

This now left Torkoal standing looking rather forbidding, standing in a crater in the middle of a field of settling doest.

“Now its time to show them real heat” said Jamie clenching his left fist while hi clipped open a pair of sunglasses from his right pocket and put them on as he gave his command.

“Torkoal sunny day then use Heat wave on it” Jamie finished flicking his head upwards which also released the strands of his bang’s that where behind the sunglasses.

Torkoal let out a cry with a confident smile on its face, a white ball of energy shot from its mouth and came to a stand still high above him in the sky, it was a giant ball of light that created a glare across the entire area, much like the sun.

Now Torkoal took a deep breath in and looked at the ball of light.

“Tor!” it opened its mouth and out of it came what seemed to be just red gas, but judging by the wavering lines of evaporating air emitting from it and the sudden burst of flames inside of it, it was the heat wave attack.

The heat wave shot up into the sky and as it hit the glowing ball of light it exploded along with the ball of light.

Now falling from the heavens above was flickers fragments of light and tiny wisps of flame.

Now surrounded in a rainfall of stars and embers, Jamie bows and in unison so did Torkoal.

 

[Razor Shiftry]

well then my good friend, tas a nice start, actually, its a VERY nice start in fact. then i loved how you carried on the theme of heat and fire and with VERY nice transitions between each other the following stuff. i also liked the fact that you used simple, and yet effective descriptions and i could clearly, within my minds eye see the appeal and that was a very interesting, unique and new thought on what the attack 'sunny day' would look like XP

how ever, i found it was a tad on the short side and it sorta lacked...some 'umph' and some rise in dramatics in the ending and how you left the stage - which as well, could be improved. i also hougt that you could have used some more emotion in your appeal. you have to imagine the character's and the pokmeon as living things. i mean, that over heat attack surely would have worn out Torkoal a bit?

i hope you get the idea and contiue to appeal cuz heaven forbid, we need a contender against HS >_<
Score: 78

 

[Jay star]

(((OOC: I am glad you liked my 1st appeal, and here is my second one, I took a lot longer on this appeal and spent ages planning it, I hope its ok it has 3 pokemon in it.)))

(((BIC)))


Jamie was walking onto the stage with mutinous applause from the audience ready and eager to see the next Pokemon appeal.

Jamie walked to the trainers point and into the spotlight, this revealed that he was wearing black jeans with black and white trainers, a white button top and a long sleeved red jacket over it, the jacket was long like a trench coat but was of a rather radical design.

The jacket had two tail’s at the back, the left one slightly shorter than the right and around the rim of the jacket there was a yellow lining while the buttons of the jacket and the clasps where dark blue.

Where the jacket over lapped and was done up across his chest, the over flap was made of two spikes, the top spike reaching all the way to just below Jamie’s shoulder while the bottom spike only went part way.

Jamie’s hair was spiked up and to the left with a few spikes of hair coming down his forehead, his hair was a dark dirty blonde colour and when in the light reveals a slightly red gleam to his hair.

His eyes where sparkling in the spotlight showing an excitement to be in front of all of these people performing.

“Ok shall we get this started?” Jamie asked the crowed; as they cheered Jamie ran full pelt forward’s to the centre of the stage where he jumped up in the air and pulling from the back of his belt, concealed by the jacket 3 pokeball with clear blue covers on them.

Throwing them so that one went stage left, another stage right and to centre stage, he span as he released them,
“Let’s go guys!” he shouted and as he finished the 3 Pokeball’s burst open.

The one that had flown towards stage left opened and as it did, an eruption of the flames shot out of the ball and they gathered into a ball, then suddenly like a bomb the flames erupted, scattering embers everywhere to reveal a Torkoal, it landed on its feet facing down stage left with a smile on its face.

The middle pokeball span and popped open literally, as it opened a large popping noise emitted from it also releasing a field of multicoloured confetti, in the midst of this confetti was a purple primate Pokemon, Aipom.

It did a forward flip before landed, standing on the hand at the end of its tail and smiling, the Pokemon let out a large smile and as it looked at all the lights and the smiles on the faces of the audience it waved out to them, it couldn’t be clearer it was having a brilliant time on the field.

It was Aipom’s 1st ever appeal but it had seen every other appeal Jamie and his Pokemon had ever done, Jamie watched it out of the corner of his eye and smiled, he was proud to see that it wasn’t getting too excited and messing up its posture.

The final pokeball that had been thrown to stage right opened and a wave of bubbles flew out of the pokeball, in the middle of this field of bubbles was a larger bubble and as this one popped it let out a happy looking Squirtle, as it flew into the air it did a complicated looking spinning forward flip and landed perfectly in a bowing position with one leg in front of the other and another arm in the air.

Squirtle was the Pokemon Jamie had used most in his appeals and he could tell as the crowed let out an extra loud roar of appreciation that some of them at least, knew of his Squirtle.

The bubble’s now floating down the ground, they sat there for only a moment before popping, creating a sea of glittering water for a second beneath Squirtle’s feet.

Jamie now started walking towards the spotlight made for him while undoing the buttons on his jacket, his hands in his pockets feeling immensely proud of his Pokemon as well as confident on getting a near perfect score.

Jamie turned to face his Pokemon and the audience, as he span quickly he threw his arm out to the right causing his jacket to fly out beside him, revealing the golden threads lining the inside of the jacket.

“Now are you ready to see a display of true beauty and of power?” Jamie yelled to the audience raising both his hands into the air, giving them the victory symbol on each hand.
The crowed went wild now, Jamie knew that hyping them all up like this and keeping them in suspense would make the appeal have a much greater impact.

He stood still for a few seconds before replying, in this time his Pokemon where all keeping their poses, except for Aipom and Torkoal who where looking around at the audience with stars in their eyes and smiles on their faces.

“Then lets give them what they have been waiting so patiently for shall we?” Jamie said to the Pokemon as well as the audience.

All of his Pokemon nodded and jumped into position, Aipom did a back flip getting into perfect centre stage and now had a determined look on its face, Squirtle side stepped with a spin to the right landing looking very confidently at Aipom, Torkoal ran happily towards his spot on stage left and turned to face Aipom, now also with a determined look on his face.

“Torkoal, Squirtle use rapid spin!” Jamie nodded, 1st to his Torkoal and then to his Squirtle before looking up into the audience as he called his command.

Torkoal gave Squirtle a worried look, Squirtle returned the look but as nervous as Torkoal looked, Squirtle looked confident.

The two tortoise Pokemon withdrew into their shells and started to spin at an incredible speed, so fast in fact that both hovered just above the ground.

“Squirtle bubble, Torkoal fire spin!” Jamie called raising his right arm and smiling at Squirtle with an excited glare in his eye, he did the same to his left side as he gave Torkoal his command.

Both Pokemon acted as one and from within the safety of their shells let out the requested attacks, from Squirtle’s shell a shot of bubbles spurted from one of the holes, they spiralled around Squirtle for a moment before soaring into the sky, catching the light and creating impressive rainbow sparkles in their wake.

On the other side of the field a blast of flames came from within Torkoal’s shell, these flames surrounded Torkoal for a moment before stretching up into the sky, opposite each other on the stage the attacks had turned into two large towers, one of bubbles and another of fire.

“Ok now come towards each other!” said Jamie as he shifted into a power position, the look in his face filled now with concentration, this was the risky part of the appeal.

Jamie noticed that the second that Squirtle and Torkoal started heading towards Aipom, the Pokemon started to sweat and shake slightly.

“Now Aipom, I know you can do this so shoot three waves of swift into the sky, but shoot them quite slowly” he said in a supportive voice to his Pokemon, the Pokemon looked over his shoulder and nodded to Jamie.

The hand at the end of Aipom’s tail started to glow gold and as he waved it to the left, to the right and back again he shot out a wave of golden star’s upwards, they where moving upwards at a quite slow speed.

Just as he finished releasing the final wave of stars, the tower’s of bubbles and of fire where basically right next to him now with the spinning tortoise Pokemon at the bottom of them.

“Now Aipom shoot yourself up with bounce!” said Jamie quickly only slightly being able to hide to slight worry in his voice, he had confidence in Aipom that he would be able to do this in time.

The purple Pokemon looked suddenly more determined than ever and sat back on his tail and propelled himself high into the sky, he managed just to avoid the towards as they collided.

Just as the towers of conflicting elements crashed into each other, the Pokemon hidden inside of them burst out to their original sides.

As the two elemental towers crashed into each other, Jamie started to look slightly worried for his Pokemon at the top of these attacks, but this was hidden from the audience and the judges, just as Aipom was by the sudden burst of steam that erupted from the attacks hitting each other.

The bubbles where popped by the flames and the flames where extinguished by the bubbles, this sent out a shot of mist that covered the entire field, now all that could be seen where the sparkles created by the slow moving swifts flowing upwards through the mist.

It looked slightly like a magical mist or even a star filled sky thought Jamie, but now was the time to take quick action as Jamie saw Aipom’s hand appear above the mist, they had timed it perfect, the swift was nearly at the top of the mist now that was starting to clear.

“Ok Aipom use fire punch to the left!” commanded Jamie not able to hide the excitement and amazement in his own voice.

Aipom’s fist was surrounded now by a sudden burst of red flames, it swung it at the 1st field of stars, as Aipom’s tail hand hit them the stars where covered with the fire and started to glow a fiery orange as they shot towards Torkoal.

“Aipom ice punch the next set to stage right, Torkoal use rapid spin” Jamie said looking excitedly up at Aipom and then down left at his Torkoal, just before the orange swift hit Torkoal he withdrew into his shell and used rapid spin, the stars hit him and deflected off in all direction’s over the crowd’s head.

Back in the sky, Aipom’s tail was now covered by a light blue energy and again he swung them at the star’s, this time as the attack made contact with the stars they where frozen and became blue.

Now the stars where heading towards Squirtle who looked ready and waiting for this moment.

“Squirtle you know what to do” said Jamie waving his arm over Squirtle and looking away with a confident smile on his face, Squirtle nodded loyally and withdrew into its shell just as the stars where about to hit him and he span, the now light blue stars where also shot in every direction above the audience’s head.

Jamie grinned cockily and then shot an empowering gaze up at Aipom,
“Use focus punch!” shouted Jamie raising his fist into the air towards Aipom.

“Aipom!” yelled the Pokemon, its fist this time started glowing white and just as the stars where about to collide, Aipom thrusted its fist forward scattering the stars down so that they passed in front of the audience.

Aipom now started falling towards the ground; it had curled itself up into a ball and was doing a few forward rolls and then landing on both feet back in the centre of the stage.

All Pokemon where now standing in their original places and looking warn out and tired, they also looked proud of their achievement and of their team work.

As the crowed let out an extra large cheer, Jamie took a step forward placed one arm behind his back the other across his stomach and bowed gracefully, all of his Pokemon imitated him, except for Torkoal who crossed his front right leg across his left and bowed with the others.

 

[Razor Shiftry]

well hello again JS, and i see you've done another appeal to see how good it is ^_^

well, lets run though it. the beggining. first line - good. but then you ruined it. you put WAAAY too much detil on te clothes and the whole momentum of the appeal slowed down and it felt like to me that you were just listing out what he was wearing. to get by this, i suggest only lsightly tell us what he's wearing then carry on the appeal, but slipping in details of what his clothes are. eg:

"as my large, male Pidgeot started the twister, i braced my lanky frame for the anslaut(sp?) of pure, natural, draconic power. i could feel my worn-out red jacket flap violently behind me, pulling into the vortex which was being created in the middle of the stadium. i dug my boots into the ground, maintaining some balance and i shouted.

'NOW SCEPTILE!'

Sceptile, on the other side of the stadium, had yet to feel the terrifing rage of the mini twister but leapt into it with confidence and bravery. as the wave of air hit him, Sceptile jumped and dive-bombed into the vortex, the power movement of green-tinged air propelling him upwards. i frantically wiped away some locks of my hazel brown locks of hair and sweat from my forhead with my fingerless-gloved hand to see what was going on. i grinned with triumph as i saw our plan come into action.

'NOW! LEAF STORM!' i screamed, the winds taking my breath away as soon as i opened it.

but Sceptile heard me. curling his whole body into a large, green ball, Sceptile hurlted upwards even higher and then..."

well, that was just off the top of my head but you ge the idea? including descriptions of the character and of the pokemon into the appeal its self doesn't stop the pace of the appeal if you spread it out. bunching it all together and putting EVERY detail in is quite a drag and you don't want it do sound like a list. i know i just contradicted myself cuz i normally say that the more descriptiob, the better, but there is such a thing as too much at once. spread yourself out! ^_^

continuing on, as your last appeal, you have a knack of having a BRILLIANT start and lovely descriptions - just right in fact. then you started off the appeal. i must admit, i had some doubts when you repeated the rapidspin/firespin combo but you pulled it off. in your last appeal, the mood of the piece was of power and showing off the amzing and dangerous powers of flame but in this appeal, it was all timing, luck, the panic and nerves of the pokemon, all hidden away with this amazing display of elemental twisters. i did find it slightly..segregated between Aipom and the other two pokemon but that was because you had three pokemon and that was hard to do and plus you wanted to give the impression that Aipom was the star of this appeal and that the other too were old hands that this and that all eyes were on the new-bee. i liked the way that you included the audience, and little deltails which add more life into the appeal, like you had appealed before and that it was Aipom's first time and that Squirtle was an old hand at this sorta thing.

just a few things however. Squirtle is a turtle and Torkoal is a tortoise. and there was the odd spelling mistake and grammar mistake in there. and i also thought you could add a little more and show how the pokemon were worn out like they were panting or Torkoal was eminating more heat and coal smoke than normal from the workout in performing the appeal but all in all, very nice with good, simple and graphic descriptions with a true empression of emotion and feelings. well done!
SCORE: 85

 

[firewater]

Looking downcastly at Venomoth's ball- David just looks at the ICU that it was now inhabiting. Turning with a Grin on his face, he stares at the arena, and grabs two pokeballs

"COME OUT, My old friend, Razor- my old friend, you're needed here, and my newest friend- Chatot GOOOO"

suddenly a very large Venusaur flips out of the ball, and as he lands, Dozens of Purple blobs fly out of his flower, and explode in light as a Chatot floats out of the other, cackling evily. Smirking, David Shouts-


"Now to start this act-"
"Razor, Start off with a Sludge Bomb"

"Chatot- use a Scheme"

As the Plant pokemon Shoots out dozens of purple blobs, the Parrot pokemon bends over, and makes an evil laugh....and as his body glows blue, the balls of sludge slam into the bird.

The bird struggles up, but before it could move again....

"Venusaur, Petal dance, then give a Hidden power to the mix. Stop that plan before it happenes"

Venusaur screeches, and fires pink petals at the bird, who quickly flies away, easily gliding over the petals. Suddenly, Venusaur's flower shapes into a cannon like shape, and one by one, red energy balls fly out, and slam into the petals, causing dozens of splashes of light. While Chatot dodges them, one by one his worried face looks at the screen, then.....

"HYPER VOICE, then BLABBER"

Suddenly, the Bird flips in mid-air, and as a large energy circle spins out, Venusaur fires another Hidden Power. The energies collide, and the Ring suddenly starts to spin in mid-air, and it quickly twists in midair- and suddenly bursts into flame. as the thing floats in mid air, Chatot had landed on Venusaur, and as Venusaur Wobbles in pain, the bird is screeching random things into its ear.

Finally, as Venusaur is wobbling like a drunk- Chatot yet again Schemes, and David finally shouts....

"Who knows, evil may win after all- Chatot finish this with a Drill Peck-"

"as the bird turns away, then charges- Venusaur grins, and as the bird Charges towards it- there seems to be a sparkiling light coming from Venusaur's Bulb. Finally, as the Bird touches the Plant pokemon, a Solarbeam Erupts, and as more Hidden Power orbs rotate around it- the blast knocks Murkrow out of the air.

Finally, as patriotic music plays, and as Venusaur shoots a vine out: David shouts.....

"AND GOOD ALWAYS WINS....."
- and the defeated Chatot, and Venusaur bow, and are returned into their pokeballs

....ok this is really crappy, but it was an Idea that came into my head....

 

[Requiem's Eclipse]

Looking downcastly at Venomoth's ball- David just looks at the ICU that it was now inhabiting. Turning with a Grin on his face, he stares at the arena, and grabs two pokeballs

"COME OUT, My old friend, Razor- my old friend, you're needed here, and my newest friend- Chatot GOOOO"

suddenly a very large Venusaur flips out of the ball, and as he lands, Dozens of Purple blobs fly out of his flower, and explode in light as a Chatot floats out of the other, cackling evily. Smirking, David Shouts-


"Now to start this act-"
"Razor, Start off with a Sludge Bomb"

"Chatot- use a Scheme"

As the Plant pokemon Shoots out dozens of purple blobs, the Parrot pokemon bends over, and makes an evil laugh....and as his body glows blue, the balls of sludge slam into the bird.

The bird struggles up, but before it could move again....

"Venusaur, Petal dance, then give a Hidden power to the mix. Stop that plan before it happenes"

Venusaur screeches, and fires pink petals at the bird, who quickly flies away, easily gliding over the petals. Suddenly, Venusaur's flower shapes into a cannon like shape, and one by one, red energy balls fly out, and slam into the petals, causing dozens of splashes of light. While Chatot dodges them, one by one his worried face looks at the screen, then.....

"HYPER VOICE, then BLABBER"

Suddenly, the Bird flips in mid-air, and as a large energy circle spins out, Venusaur fires another Hidden Power. The energies collide, and the Ring suddenly starts to spin in mid-air, and it quickly twists in midair- and suddenly bursts into flame. as the thing floats in mid air, Chatot had landed on Venusaur, and as Venusaur Wobbles in pain, the bird is screeching random things into its ear.

Finally, as Venusaur is wobbling like a drunk- Chatot yet again Schemes, and David finally shouts....

"Who knows, evil may win after all- Chatot finish this with a Drill Peck-"

"as the bird turns away, then charges- Venusaur grins, and as the bird Charges towards it- there seems to be a sparkiling light coming from Venusaur's Bulb. Finally, as the Bird touches the Plant pokemon, a Solarbeam Erupts, and as more Hidden Power orbs rotate around it- the blast knocks Murkrow out of the air.

Finally, as patriotic music plays, and as Venusaur shoots a vine out: David shouts.....

"AND GOOD ALWAYS WINS....."
- and the defeated Chatot, and Venusaur bow, and are returned into their pokeballs

....ok this is really crappy, but it was an Idea that came into my head....

OKAY, Mirage Mew is back with a vengence!

To start off you had MULTIPLE grammar mistakes from begining to end that made the quality of the appeal go down. To me, the whole appeal was very choppy, there was no real point in the whole good versus evil thing. And where did that random Murkrow come from? I know we don't keep our stadium that messy. My Score, 78