Sexism and Profiling of Men

[Kacho]

blending with the student lounge thread, one of my substitute teacher for my maternity leave teacher was found on the news as sex offender or something after meeting up a someone "too young" during winter break, lol.

and she's female. and they met in a MMORPG... *hawkward*

 

[Vernikova]

Why would it be bad to let a kid shoot hoops with you when he asks?

Because it's creepy. You're supposed to reject the kid and send them back to their parents. You didn't know the kid or their parents so yeah it's creepy and I would've called you a creep as well if that was my child.

Anyways, I would like your opinions on the whole "Assume every man is a pedophile or murderer" thing and over-all what your opinions are on sexist profiling of men in media and in public. Thank you.

Gender roles, stereotypes, and Fundamental Attribution Error . Nothing else needs to be said.

 

[Snorunt conservationist]

Because it's creepy. You're supposed to reject the kid and send them back to their parents. You didn't know the kid or their parents so yeah it's creepy and I would've called you a creep as well if that was my child.

Is that poor sarcasm or are you being serious?

 

[Schade]

No. If my kid ran off to play with someone I didn't know, I would be on the alert. I think what Rebecca said makes perfect sense

 

[Vernikova]

Is that poor sarcasm or are you being serious?

You don't start playing with a person's child if you do not know the child's parent.

Edit: And yeah, most of what I said was serious. You ask the child where are their parents and take the child to them. You don't play basketball with them as though they're familiar to you.

 

[Fenix]

Because it's creepy. You're supposed to reject the kid and send them back to their parents. You didn't know the kid or their parents so yeah it's creepy and I would've called you a creep as well if that was my child.

What's wrong with you?

Also, this is basically all that there is to say regarding this matter:

Regarding the OP, I agree with what people have been saying about the mother's protective instincts, as well as with the fact that she calling you a creep to your face is nothing short of uncalled for. What really gets me, though, is that, rather than preventing a situation she was obviously not-OK with from happening in the first place, she just reacted to it after it had already taken place (and in quite the unsavory fashion, no less). I mean, in the event that her kid did wander up to a pedophile, that kid would be gone long before she would be on the scene to yell at the pedo. I understand that no parent can supervise their child perfectly, but that's no reason to take it out on someone else, except maybe by admonishing kid for doing it in the first place, and certainly not by insulting a total stranger.

EDIT:

You don't start playing with a person's child if you do not know the child's parent.

Edit: And yeah, most of what I said was serious. You ask the child where are their parents and take the child to them. You don't play basketball with them as though they're familiar to you.

I see absolutely nothing wrong in doing that. The OP said the kid asked to play with him, I think it'd be far worse to reject the kid than risk being called a creep by a parent who fails at parenting and blames it on others.

 

[ChedWick]

You don't start playing with a person's child if you do not know the child's parent.

Edit: And yeah, most of what I said was serious. You ask the child where are their parents and take the child to them. You don't play basketball with them as though they're familiar to you.

Maybe if the kid was playing in his own driveway would the OP be considered a creep but in a public park whats the issue with being nice?

 

[Syrus]

Looks as if the days where a man can be nice and play a simple game of soccer with a kid are gone.

I am dissapoint

 

[xDWarrior]

Because it's creepy. You're supposed to reject the kid and send them back to their parents. You didn't know the kid or their parents so yeah it's creepy and I would've called you a creep as well if that was my child.Gender roles, stereotypes, and Fundamental Attribution Error . Nothing else needs to be said.

They were in a public park, with tons of people around. There's nothing wrong about 2 people sharing a public basketball court together..

 

[Snorunt conservationist]

They were in a public park, with tons of people around. There's nothing wrong about 2 people sharing a public basketball court together..

Not to mention that in the grand scheme of things child abduction is (thankfully) incredibly rare. Glad to see we're all agreed about who is in the wrong here.

 

[Striker X]

Here is why:

First of all, men make more money than women. Period. For the same jobs. When we're not being paid $0.70 to your $1.00, maybe we'll be more amenable to going dutch.

Now. How much money do you spend on makeup? How much money do you spend on clothes? On your lingerie? On your hair? On your skincare? On your nails? On your gym membership? We spend a hell of a lot of money keeping up with the way society has conditioned men to think we should look. And don't give me that, "Oh girls are beautiful just the way they are" ******** because believe me, if you had a choice between a girl who took care of herself the way she was expected to and one who took care of herself the way men take care of themselves, I know which one you'd pick.

Women put a lot of investment into making ourselves someone men would want to be seen with. It's ok for you to pay a little bit of that back to us.

Ok, I can see your point on earning money being a factor, BUT we both spend money on stuff to take care of our look.

I think you're over-generalizing men on the stereotype you see on tv. You know, the fat, lazy man on a couch with a soda can on his stomach watching tv?

You see, we spend money on a lot of stuff too, not all for our bodies, but for stuff that we'll need for survival and such, not to mention paying for stuff girlfriends/wives want because you love them. How many times have you seen the woman propose to the man with a $800 ring HOPING that they'll accept.

I can understand women taking care of their bodies to look good, but what do you think we do? We have our alternatives to looking as great as we can for you girls too. I've spent over $100 on protein shakes in the past 4 weeks (each pack is around $25-$30) and at least one hour a day working out staying in shape, which is MUCH more painful than adding on a skincare treatment or makeup. Do you know how much BO leaks out of us from even just a little heat? It's gruesome and disgusting.

I can see your point of views, but your over-generalizing men all over the world into lazy people who don't take care of themselves. I can also see your point on some women taking extreme care of their bodies, but what about the ones who look naturally amazing and only have to tweak with their hair, take a shower, and put almost anything on and look great. Don't say "Those don't exist" because I know a handfull of girls who don't do much to look good, including a close relative.

Look, I'm all for equality, I think everybody deserves chances that others have, but would it kill you to pay for that dinner after we get you those $500 rings and earings on valentine's day?

 

[bel9]

I can understand women taking care of their bodies to look good, but what do you think we do? We have our alternatives to looking as great as we can for you girls too. I've spent over $100 on protein shakes in the past 4 weeks (each pack is around $25-$30) and at least one hour a day working out staying in shape, which is MUCH more painful than adding on a skincare treatment or makeup.

lmao this is beyond extreme tryhard and pushing into the boundaries of stupidity. you're wasting money at this point bro

 

[Caseydia]

What the hell kind of thread is this?

I guess this all depends on the situations. There is alot of sexism between both parties regarding different topics.
However I agree with Striker. We women don't exactly get too attractied by guys who don't take care of themselves and that goes the same for them. However, you don't have to over do it on both sides. If that girl/guy doesn't like you then you should move on. Especially if you done all you could. You should focus on your feelings too.

 

[Jb]

OkI can understand women taking care of their bodies to look good, but what do you think we do? We have our alternatives to looking as great as we can for you girls too. I've spent over $100 on protein shakes in the past 4 weeks (each pack is around $25-$30) and at least one hour a day working out staying in shape, which is MUCH more painful than adding on a skincare treatment or makeup. Do you know how much BO leaks out of us from even just a little heat? It's gruesome and disgusting.

Damn son. Just eat some eggs or chicken.

 

[kochoupink]

Look, I'm all for equality, I think everybody deserves chances that others have, but would it kill you to pay for that dinner after we get you those $500 rings and earings on valentine's day?

I'm talking about pre-relationship dates; if you're in serious relationships, costs should and will be shared equally between both parties.

 

[CSolarstorm]

I didn't create it; therefore, it is not my problem. This is exactly the Social Darwinist attitude every individual should embrace. Intervention is not natural and only supports the weak. We need to rebuild America through oppression.

lol what? How do you get 'I think we should oppression women' from 'I won't let myself by hurt to support gender stereotypes I did not contribute to and nobody wants'?

This whole thing about 'of course you'd rather women work hard on makeup' is like doing something nice and unnecessary for someone, and then when it starts to hinder them, telling them that they are ungrateful for their hard work because they don't like that nice thing that they never asked you to do.

I think this is a personality flaw rather than a logical one.

 

[Vernikova]

What's wrong with you?

I'm sorry that I wouldn't want my child to play in a park with some stranger that I've never met. A better question is what the **** is wrong with you? Letting your child play with a stranger and you're not even made aware about it by said stranger.

I see absolutely nothing wrong in doing that. The OP said the kid asked to play with him, I think it'd be far worse to reject the kid than risk being called a creep by a parent who fails at parenting and blames it on others.

Who cares if the kid asked him to play? That doesn't change anything. The OP is a big boy now and should know better than that. You are supposed to take the child back to their parent. Also, regardless on whether or not you think the parent is at fault, that doesn't stop creepy OP here from receiving blame as well.

Maybe if the kid was playing in his own driveway would the OP be considered a creep but in a public park whats the issue with being nice?

The point is that he has a responsibility to find the child's parent He didn't know the kid, he didn't know the parent, so why is he playing with the kid? The OP is a stranger to that child and to the parent.

They were in a public park, with tons of people around. There's nothing wrong about 2 people sharing a public basketball court together..

Did you even read what I wrote? I never said that. I said that he was wrong for playing with the kid in the first place. There is nothing wrong with two people sharing a court. There's something wrong with playing with a child you don't know or whose parents you don't know.

Not to mention that in the grand scheme of things child abduction is (thankfully) incredibly rare. Glad to see we're all agreed about who is in the wrong here.

lmao at me being in the wrong because I wouldn't want my kid playing with some strange guy that I know nothing about. So just because child abduction is rare, kids should be allowed to go and talk to strangers? No of course not. You know that.

Of course, I will be a bad parent. Not letting my kids play with strangers and all. "Oh my kid is playing with this person I don't know? That's no problem for me."

 

[Snorunt conservationist]

I'm sorry that I wouldn't want my child to play in a park with some stranger that I've never met. A better question is what the **** is wrong with you? Letting your child play with a stranger and you're not even made aware about it by said stranger.

Letting your child play with a stranger is not at all wrong. Failing to know where your child is when he/she asks to play is.

Who cares if the kid asked him to play? That doesn't change anything. The OP is a big boy now and should know better than that. You are supposed to take the child back to their parent. Also, regardless on whether or not you think the parent is at fault, that doesn't stop creepy OP here from receiving blame as well.

Blame for what? You've still not specified anything that the person in question did wrong.

The point is that he has a responsibility to find the child's parent He didn't know the kid, he didn't know the parent, so why is he playing with the kid? The OP is a stranger to that child and to the parent.

Again, so what? It's not like the kid came up to him and said "Hey, I'm separated from my mum, how about we play basketball"?. The kid simply asked if he could play and the OP says yes. In addition to which, what is more responsible/worthy of suspicion. Staying in the same place (presumably with several members of the public present) with the child, or TAKING HIM WITH YOU AROUND THE PARK where there are quite possibly more secluded areas. Unless there is/was a designated lost child point in the park, the actual safest and most responsible thing to do was to stay exactly where they were.

There's something wrong with playing with a child you don't know or whose parents you don't know.

Um, no there really isn't.

lmao at me being in the wrong because I wouldn't want my kid playing with some strange guy that I know nothing about

If you know nothing about him, how do you know he's strange?

So just because child abduction is rare, kids should be allowed to go and talk to strangers? No of course not. You know that.

In a public place, of course they should. The parent should know where his/her child is, that is true, but kids talking to strangers is not a bad thing per se. Kids talking to strangers when they have not made their parents aware of where they are is.

Of course, I will be a bad parent.

Your words not mine.

Look, sometimes it has to be said that people can be in the sizable minority and still be right. This is not one of these cases though. You are horrendously wrong.

 

[はるひ]

Because it's creepy. You're supposed to reject the kid and send them back to their parents. You didn't know the kid or their parents so yeah it's creepy and I would've called you a creep as well if that was my child.Gender roles, stereotypes, and Fundamental Attribution Error . Nothing else needs to be said.

Would you have called the OP a creep if he was female? I had to ask. lol

 

[Malanu]

I'm sorry that I wouldn't want my child to play in a park with some stranger that I've never met. A better question is what the **** is wrong with you? Letting your child play with a stranger and you're not even made aware about it by said stranger.

If you were paying attention of your child you would have seen the stranger coming. As a parent I'm just saying.

Who cares if the kid asked him to play? That doesn't change anything. The OP is a big boy now and should know better than that. You are supposed to take the child back to their parent. Also, regardless on whether or not you think the parent is at fault, that doesn't stop creepy OP here from receiving blame as well.

If the OP was entertaining the kid there is nothing wrong. To many people are afraid to be friendly at all with children.

The point is that he has a responsibility to find the child's parent He didn't know the kid, he didn't know the parent, so why is he playing with the kid? The OP is a stranger to that child and to the parent.

I'd say the onus is on the parent not the stranger. Yes it would have been a good idea to ask where the parent is, but there is nothing wrong with what the OP did.

Did you even read what I wrote? I never said that. I said that he was wrong for playing with the kid in the first place. There is nothing wrong with two people sharing a court. There's something wrong with playing with a child you don't know or whose parents you don't know.

And what is wrong with making a child happy? Not all strangers are evil child molesters. I would play with a child if it came to me, I would look for the parent, but if the child is playing with me, he/she will return to the parent safe and sound. I'd also politely remind the parent that children require 110% of our attention all the time. It is never ever wrong to be a good person.

lmao at me being in the wrong because I wouldn't want my kid playing with some strange guy that I know nothing about. So just because child abduction is rare, kids should be allowed to go and talk to strangers? No of course not. You know that.

Yes they should, under your watchful eye of course. And the child should be told the dangers of doing so.. alone.

[/QUOTE]Of course, I will be a bad parent. Not letting my kids play with strangers and all. "Oh my kid is playing with this person I don't know? That's no problem for me."[/QUOTE]At one point or another We all interact with strangers. Every child in school is a stranger and so is their teacher, principle, lunch lady etc. You'd have to keep your child in a bubble to keep them away from strangers. And many times it is someone they know and trust that does them wrong... So maybe we need to teach our children to not talk to Grandma or Grandpa or Uncle Bobby or Aunt Liz! Cause do you really know if they are safe?