Shadows of Fear

[Morpher01]

Hello, people. I'm new here, so be nice to me. I'm going to write a fic about a Marowak, so enjoy!


Shadows of Fear


Prologue:

My name is Skull. I'm a Marowak. Not just any Marowak, mind you, but one of the 83 Shadow Pokemon.

You may ask: What is a Shadow Pokemon? Well, I'll tell you.

A Shadow Pokemon is, bluntly put, a fighting machine. Our hearts have been closed shut by the cruel species called humans. Since our hearts have been closed, we can't feel love or happiness...we can only feel anger.

I only know one other Shadow Pokemon...

A Lapras. Her name is Plesiosaur. Back before we became Shadow Pokemon, Plesiosaur was my best friend. She was rather naughty, always popping out of some body of water at any time, merely to blast someone with a Water Gun attack. She did this purely for her own amusement. This did not, however, make Plesiosaur very popular, which showed as no-one helped her when the human came and captured her.

I should probably get describing the miserable creature himself. The human that caught both me and Plesiosaur had red grass growing out of the top of his head, black glass covering his eyes, and, to top it off, a long black-red robe of artifical skin covering every bit of his body except for his head. He also had four other slaves: a Shadow Manectric, a Ninjask, a Shadow Salamence and a Flygon.

Arg, just talking about the creature makes me want to puke. Ah, well...

"Go, Manectric and Salamence!" I heard the human cry, snapping my head back to reality. It appeared that the human was battling someone, but, due to the blockage that the enslavement device called a "Pokeball" produced, I couldn't see who it was.

But one thing I knew, was that once Manectric, Ninjask, Salamence and Flygon went down, I would know...

******

Well, that's it for the prologue. Read and review, guys and gals.

 

[DKzM0mA]

Well, this is not very bad. I think it is a little short even for a prologue but I might be wrong. When some is talking, pokemon or not, use the quotations(""). Well, you could tell us a bit more about youself ( Skull ) like how you got captured, where you got captured etc.

I liked how you used the description as if you were the pokemon and you've never seen a human or clothes and a pokeball in you life, so I'll give you some points for that.

Overall not bad.

 

[Psychic]

Well, it was all right. Certainly nothing special, and I can't say I was very impressed. Not to say that your work sucks-I've just seen better, that's all.

I'll briefly go over the components of the story and point out things you did well and things you could improve.


Spelling/Grammar:
Not terrible; it was actually pretty good, and you're punctuation is mostly good-better than a lot of poeple's. The only thing is that you shold be typing on a word processor, such as Microsoft Word, so as to catch any mistakes you may have missed.


Style:
You could have done a much better job telling the story, or at least the Prologue. See, a prologue usually consists of a scene that takes place befoer the story itself so as to create either an explanation or mystery. The way you wrote it was all much too blunt and straightforward, simply stating things as if they were facts in a textbook. The great thing about making it a scene is that you can transport your readers into the story so that they feel like they're there, standing right next to the main character.
So, instead of doing it the way you did, you could have made it a scene in which Skull is getting caught by his trainer, then another scene of this battle.
Now, you weren't very...specific enough with that last part. I assume Skull was sort of daydreaming, then he snaps back into reality, where he is in his Pokémon as him team-mates are battling. This part could have been a lot better and more engaging had there been description.

Description:
Very low, being at a real minamum. I didn't see anything being described, actually.
The trick with description is that if you use it right it cam make a story more interesting and get a reader more into it. If we can actualy picture in our heads what everything looks like, it will feel more real to us and standing right next to the character will be much more engaging.
In Pokémon FanFiction, it is rather important to describe the Pokémon themselves. Again, this helps us picture them better in our minds. But everything else needs to be described as well-the surroundings (also important for us to picture the scene in our heads), objects and people themselves. When I say to describe the humanas, I don't mean for you to tell us that a human has two arms with five fingers, two legs a head and so on. The things you should always describe for a human are: skin color, hair color/length/cut, eye color, height (not in exact amount of feet), weight (not in exact amount of pounds), clothing (top/bottom/accesories) color/style/length(/maybe material). This always helps us to visualize things in our heads, which is always what you want.


Length:
Waaaay too short, even for a prologue. Your style takes away from the length, because you bluntly explain things and don't add enough description.
The prologue should be at least a page long on MS Word (or whatever program you want to use) so that it does the job any prologue should do: engage the reader, wet their appetite and make them want to read more to find out what happens next. Had you given more insight into the story- Skull's life- trying to make everything more 3-D, the length would have been better and the prologue would have served its purpose.


Character Work:
Skull. Well, all I'm getting off him is that he strongly dislikes his trainer, but that isn't enough. Show using his thoughts and actions what kind of Marowak he is. If it had been longer, you could have given him more personality. Also, exactly where he lived and what kind of life he had would have been good to mention.
Plesiosaur was actually a bit more developed than Skull. Still, though, we don't know much about her and she doesn't seem to have a role in the story. Again, we don't don't where she is, what kind of history she has and even is she lives in the water.


Plot:
Well, you got a few things wrong and confusing, and you weren't always very specific. I'll try to point out with what:
-Shadow Pokémon. Elaborate more on humans artificially closing the doors to their hearts. Also, how could there have been 83-what about the pokémon from Colloseum? Besides, how is a Maorwak supposed to know that there are 83 others like it? Aside from that, logically, why should they have stopped at 83: I'm sure that more were made, though not everybody knew anout them.
-A Marowak making friends with a Lapras? Then, I'm not so sure about this part, but the two were caught together by the same trainer? That's all rather odd...
-You got the grass thing from Dilasc, didn't you? Look; if we;re talking about a Pokémon from ancient times, fine, but a marowak from the modern day and age? I think it would know what hair is.
-Are only Manectric and Salamence Shadows? I wasn't so sure about that part. And how could Skull tell they were Shadows? Maybe mention these kind of things.
-You say Skull knows only one other Shadow, aka Plesiosaur, but then you go on to say that the trainer who caught him has two other Shadows.



I'd suggest putting a good bit more effort into your work and thinking more about your characters with their personalities and histories before you post another installment to this fic. Had you spent more time on the development of the fic, I think it could have turned out a lot better. Cause and effect also plays a huge importance in people's lives and could determine a lot of things in the fic itself, so try to think about the consequences of the characters' actions.

~Psychic

 

[Chaos Absol]

I like it.Although it was very short, even for a prologue, I still got what most of it meant.I like how you made it about a shadow that isn't something most peope would write about, like dragonite or lugia.I'm not much of a long review person, so I'll just be saying this last thing: I'll be keeping my eye on this.

 

[Morpher01]

Thanks for the reviews, guys and gals. I'll try to make this fic more significant.

Here's chapter 1. Enjoy!




Chapter 1:


I spent most of my time in the Pokeball planning my escape: I had waited for this moment for months, now. I'm not going to let my escape fail...


As I emerged from my ball at last, I saw two Shadow Pokemon--Snorlax and Electabuzz--in front of me. I saw a Pokemon to my left, namely Flygon, and, last and least, I saw my human enslaver. I also saw his opponent.

My enslaver's opponent was quite the opposite of him: blue grass growing on his head, blue-black robes of artificial skin, regular skin the color of my underbelly and more black glass covering his eyes. I heard them speak:

"Eldes, your chance of winning in this battle is the same as Cipher not gaining control of the world!" My enslaver's opponent.

"A very good chance, then, eh, Ardos?" My enslaver...

"GRRR!!!! Electabuzz, Shadow Storm!" cried my enslaver's opponent.

Electabuzz glared at its trainer, then, it reluctantly swirled its fists around in circles with shadow energy surrounding them. Still spinning its fists, Electabuzz pointed one fist at me and one at Flygon. Then, it blasted a purple-black tornado from each fist.

I was merely blown back, not much damage caused. Flygon, however, was not so lucky...

It was caught in the tornado, being battered by the very sides of it. When the tornado dissappated, Flygon appeared to be battered, bruised, and cut in many places. My enslaver recalled Flygon into its ball, then sent out Plesiosaur.

All right, Skull, it's now or never. I thought to myself. Before my enslaver could give me an order, I jumped on his head, then off again. Then I ran.

"You coming, Plesiosaur?" I yelled.

"You bet!" she replied, as she powered up a Shadow Storm.

I turned my head back to the front. There was a metal wall in my way. I covered my entire body with a black aura. The aura grew bigger with every step. Finally, I smashed straight through it, pain coursing through my body, as was the effect of Shadow End. My aura died down. And I fell............

............On top of a passing human's head.

The human, despite her armor, fell over, unconcious. I ran away again, wanting to get off this miserable island.

Wait, ISLAND?!

I smacked myself on the head with my bone. DUH! I forgot I was on an island. I needed Pesiosaur, since I didn't know how to work any of the human vehicles.

"Looking for me?" I heard a familiar voice say.

I turned around...and saw Plesiosaur! I looked behind her, and saw the human whose head I had landed on half-buried in the earth. I guess Plesiosaur landed on her.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. Hop on in." I said, gesturing to the water with my bone.

Plesiosaur obliged, leaping into the air like a Lugia takes off, then landing in the water with a resounding splash.

She gestured for me to hop onto her back. I did.

And then we were off...

******

Once again, Read and review.

 

[pisces_beedrill]

on the prologue. goodish. is kinda boring, bring in liveliness with your words, thats all. other than that, it was cool

 

[Guitar dude bill]

this story was alright. but a bit predictable and not enough description. also short. psychic. i heard that you were a flamer but you don't seem to be so i guees that person was wrong. oh and you said shadows can't feel anything more than anger. i would not say he can only feel anger. and how is he supposed to know? and somebody already pointed this out. but how does he see or feel the dark aura? this story was OK. try putting more effort and time into the next chapter ok! here are the ratings
plot: understandable. but needs more of one
description: boy you need more of that. describe the environment. describe the pokemon. describe the moves. this is the second fan-fic I've come across today that lacks description! and it is annoying
characters: skull doesn't have much of a personality but as a shadow he can't feel any emotions (this is a 50/50 good and bad point)
origanlity: this is quite a good point. it's original to have a shadow pokemon in first-person
grammar: i haven't seen many mistakes but i think you made a few
entertainment: This was fairly amusing, i look forward to the next chapter
so keep up the good work and take peoples advice to make this fic good. see ya

 

[DKzM0mA]

Even though a chapter has to be atleast only 1 page of Microsoft Word, people don't like reading short stuff like that. People want to read a lot, if its a good story, and I'm a little interested in this fic. I'd say write/type up atleast 4 pages on MS word.

 

[Guitar dude bill]

i agree with you. user above. don't just make it one page long. but i don't think 4 pages is the minimum. i'd say two pages

 

[Psychic]

-_- My God. It's as if my review was totally ignored.

Look, to put it blatantly, this chapter was no better than the Prologue, worse, even. You should have listened to what I said. It would have helped you. You could have been better.

This chapter had the exact same problems the Prologue did, further proving that you ignored my review and did not use it to even TRY to get better.
At least show SINGS of having read my review, for crying out loud.

I was patient. I was nice. But when you ignore me, I get angry. You won't like me when I'm angry.

psychic. i heard that you were a flamer but you don't seem to be so i guees that person was wrong.

Me? A flamer? *snorts* Who told you I'm a flamer? No offence, but they must be a real n00b to take my review for a flame. Granted, I burn, but I don't randomly go into a thread and insult people for no reason.
Just because someone told you something, doesn't mean it's true. If someone went up to you and told you they just jumped onn a building, would you believe them? I'd like to hope not.
Don't jump to conclusions about members here. There are reviewers here who are misunderstood (like me) and get flamed for telling the truth. Saw my review? Was I flaming Morpher01? No, I was reviewing his fic.

Who told you I'm a flamer?


~Psychic

 

[DKzM0mA]

psychic. i heard that you were a flamer but you don't seem to be so i guees that person was wrong.

Psychic is not a flamer. Whoever told you that is probably some shity writer that Psychic tried to help, but that idiot probably thought Psychic was being mean. Constructive Critism might sometimes might be sound mean sometimes, but it's meant to help you not flame you. So tell that to your n00by friend

 

[Morpher01]

Sorry about your first reply, Psy. I'm really trying to do my best on this fic.

Chapter 2 is up. Enjoy!...Which, of course, may not happen.



Chapter 2:


It had been three days since we left the human island. My stomach ached for food, having been out at sea for two days.

The third day, we finally hit land.

We were in some sort of human port. There were human dwellings and markets lining the edges, each one different from the last. There was also a large tower in the distance.

"Skull, we need to get in the wild. Now. We need berries if we want to survive." said Plesiosaur.

"It's a bit risky, Plesiosaur, what with humans enslaving free Pokemon out there. But, still, you're right. We need food, and we need it fast" I replied.

After I said that, I felt something inside me open a little...What is this strange phenomonon?

I felt a move return to my memory...Swords Dance...fairly useful.

We climbed onto the land. Plesiosaur leaped, using a Shadow Storm to propell herself over all the gaping humans.

I was holding on to her fairly stubby tail.

We landed on a large flight of concrete stairs. Plesiosaur did another leap, and we were out of range of the human's enslavement devices...for now.

******

It was approxamately one human hour after we left the human port. We were walking (or, in Plesiosaur's case, scooting) in a forest.

All the wild Pokemon here stayed away from us. I could understand why.

All Pokemon can see the black aura that me and Plesiosaur have. They could tell that we aren't normal.

We found some berries. We began to eat.

Then I saw a horrific sight. A sight I did not want to see. Ever.

I saw my former enslaver riding a Shadodw Salamence.

Every wild Pokemon ran away at the sight of not only another Shadow Pokemon, but a human.

"There you two are." said the human with fake compassion in his voice. "I've been looking everywhere. You know full well that we can't have Shadow Pokemon like you in the open. I'm going to take you back to Citadark Isle. Whether you like it or not, I don't care."

"Go, Manectric and Ninjask!" He cried.

The Shadow Manectric and the Ninjask appeared from their balls.

"Ninjask, use Aerial Ace on Marowak!" cried the human.

Ninjask responded by flying up high into the air, then flying down at me with incredible velocity.

Knowing that Aerial Ace can't be dodged, I resorted to the next best thing.

I used the only normal move I have.

I put my bone on top of my head at a vertical angle. Then, I spun around very fast. Ninjask was deflected by the Swords Dance.

"Intresting." said the human. "Your heart has opened up enough for you to use Swords Dance."

Was that the strange phenomonon I felt inside me earlier? My heart opening?

"Ah, but it doesn't matter. Manectric, use Shadow Sky!" the human cried.

The Shadow Manectric glared, then its pointed head was surrounded by a black aura. Then the aura shot into the sky, blooming and covering the battlefield like a tree christins over the earth.

I knew now it was my turn. I surrounded the ends of my bone with dark energy. Then, I spun my bone, firing the black aura balls from it.

The black balls flew at Ninjask and Shadow Manectric. Ninjask was quick to dodge, instantly flying up to avoid it. Manectric, however, wasn't so lucky.

The ball had hit Manectric square on, causing it to become confused.

I had used a Shadow Panic attack.

"Return, Manectric." the human said as he returned Manectric to its ball. "Go, Gengar!"

A purple, red-eyed, devil-like creature appeared to replace Manectric.

Plesiosaur knew it was her turn, now. She covered her front fins in dark energy, then spun them. She pointed a fin at Ninjask and a fin at Gengar. Then, two purple tornados shot from her fins, one aimed at Ninjask and one at Gengar.

Gengar leaped to the left, eaisly dodging it.

Ninjask, however, was caught in the tornado, being battered badly by its very walls. When the tornado dissappated, Ninjask was crumpled, cut, battered, bruised, and had a broken wing.

"Return, Ninjask." said the human, now putting Ninjask in its ball. "Go, Metagross!"

To my horror, the most powerful non-legendary Pokemon in the Hoenn region appeared to replace Ninjask.

I knew now that my former enslaver had gotten stronger slaves.

All that I had hoped for was freedom. Now, just when it was in my grasp, it was about to be cruelly snatched away.

Or was it?

******

Read and Review.

 

[DKzM0mA]

Well, it's longer, but it's still too short. Are you using MS word to type this up? Also, you can't really say that metagross is the most powerful non-legendary pokemon. They're are plenty of pokemon that are able to defeat it. The only bad thing I find in this fic is the length. Make it a page longer atleast.

 

[Master of Legends]

bravo... y is it 3 stars? looks like a 5 star to me

 

[Morpher01]

Thanks for the reviews. I just need to make it longer, you say? No problem.

...I don't have a clue why I didn't do it before.

Anyway, Chapter 3 is up. Enjoy!



Chapter 3:


Skull, just because it's RUMORED that Metagross is the strongest Hoenn non-legendary, doesn't mean that it is. I thought to myself. Freedom was still in my grasp.

"Gengar, use Night Shade on Marowak!" cried the human.

Gengar obliged, firing bolts of black energy from its eyes.

I dodged with ease.

"Metagross, use Psychic on Lapras!"

Metagross also obliged, launching Plesiosaur into a tree by blasting her with several blue energy bolts that were shaped like Xs. Don't these Pokemon have ANY pride!?

It was my turn now. I covered myself in a black aura, then charged at Metagross, my aura growing bigger with each step.

When I made contact, Metagross went flying into a tree. HARD. So hard that the tree broke at where Metagross hit. The broken part of the tree fell on Metagross, injuring, but not killing, the Steel/Psychic type. I winced as once again I felt pain course through my body, the side-effect of Shadow End.

Metagross psychically lifted the tree off itself, then floated back to the human's side.

Plesiosaur fired off another Shadow Storm. Gengar avoided it again, but Metagross was too slow.

It was suffering the same fate as Ninjask had earlier. Except this time, during the battering the tornado gave Metagross, I saw one of Metagross' legs fly out, then another, and another. By the time the tornado dissapated, Metagross had no limbs at all.

"AAAAAHHHH! Metagross, return!" cried the human, returning the pretty much dead Metagross to its ball. "G-go, Flygon!"

A Flygon emerged to replace Metagross.

"Gengar, use Sludge Bomb on Marowak!" cried the human.

Gengar opened its grinning mouth and fired out several balls of sludge. Even though some of the balls hit me, I was able to avoid some of the others.

"Flygon, use Flamethrower on Lapras!" the human cried.

Flygon responded by opening its mouth and spraying a large blast of flame from it.

The fire headed for Plesiosaur, but then, the most amazing thing happened.

A Duskull came in front of Plesiosaur and established some sort of psychic link with Flygon. The minute the Duskull fainted from the Flamethrower, Flygon fainted too.

"What!?" cried the human. I just noticed he sure cries a lot.

Many Pikachu, Hoothoot, Pidgeotto and others stepped or flew in front of the human.

"Why are you helping us?" Plesiosaur asked one of the Pidgeotto.

"You may be evil, but if you become the slaves of this human, then we're all doomed." the Pidgeotto replied.

"Wha--you wild Pokemon aren't going to stop me from getting my Pokemon back! I'll take you all on! Go, Manectric and Salamence!"

The Shadow Manectric and Shadow Salamence joined the Gengar.

"Take this time to escape, you two. We'll handle the human." a Pikachu said.

"Right." I replied.

And we ran away.

I couldn't help looking back to see the wild Pokemon that had helped us for one final time.

I saw several Natu and Xatu taking on the Gengar, many Sneasel taking on the Shadow Salamence and a few Nincada, Ninjask and Shedinja taking on Shadow Manectric.

I pity what might happen to those Pokemon if the human wins.

********

We were at a new location. That location was the alleys of a beaten down-looking town that the humans call "Pyrite".

It was rare to see a clean building in Pyrite, as most of them were rusty, old and worn. We were in an alley because we had to stay out of sight of the humans until it was safe to leave.

"Is the coast clear yet?" I asked Plesiosaur.

Plesiosaur poked her head through the opening of the alley. "Nope." she replied.

I sighed, then slumped against the wall. At least there weren't any Meowth or Persian here. This town's alleys are so beaten down that even the most desperate Meowth or Persian wouldn't want to live here.

"Wait, someone's coming. It's a human, but a different one than our former enslaver."

Well, that's good news. NOT!

"Grab on to my tail again, Skull. We're gonna take off." said Plesiosaur.

"Ah-ah-ah! Not so fast, little Pokemon." said a human voice that was not familiar to me.

The human came into view. He wore blue artificial skin, which covered most of his upper body and all of his legs. He wore blue glass over his eyes, as well as yellow blocks on his feet. But the most noticable feature of this human was a large ball of fur on his head, colored the same way a Pokeball is: one half red and one half white.

"My name is Miror B. I'm looking to control all Pokemon like yourselves in the world. And, since I don't have much better to do besides dancing, I'll weaken and catch you!" the human said.

"Go, Shiftry and Electrode!" the human cried.

A Shiftry and a Pokemon that quite resembled a Pokeball except with reversed colorations appeared.

"Electrode, use Thunderbolt on the Lapras!" cried the disco obbsessed human.

Electrode surrounded itself with a yellow aura. Then it fired a bolt of electricity at Plesiosaur. But, suddenly, the electricity adverted from its course and went directly towards me.

I wasn't afraid: electricity doesn't effect Ground types like myself. Which showed as nothing happened to me when the Thunderbolt hit.

"Gwoooohh!!" cried the human. "I forgot about the ability Lightningrod! Gah, no matter. Shiftry, use Razor Wind!"

The Shiftry used its fan-like hands to call up a gust of wind that blowed me and Plesiosaur back into a wall.

"Ha ha! That's how it's done!" cried the human joyfully.

I decided that it's time to end this human's joyfulness. I charged up a Shadow End, then ran at Shiftry.

When I struck, Shiftry flew back quite a bit, right through the wall of a nearby building. The building was so old that it couldn't take the hole that Shiftry made and collapsed...with Shiftry inside. Once again, I felt pain course through my body as the recoil from Shadow End took its toll.

"AAHH! My Shiftry!" cried the human. "GO, SUDOWOODO!"

A strange tree-like creature appeared to replace Shiftry.

Plesiosaur launched a Shadow Storm attack, catching Sudowoodo but not harming Electrode, it having dodged the tornado.

It was pretty much over for Sudowoodo before it even began. When it emerged from the shadowy tornado, Sudowoodo was battered, beaten, bruised and cut very badly.

"AHHH! RETURN, SUDOWOODO!" cried the human. "GO, JUMPLUFF!"

A ball with three puffballs--two for hands and one on its head--appeared to replace Sudowoodo.

"Electrode, Rollout attack on that Lapras!" cried the human, seeming to have calmed down.

Electrode rolled over to Plesiosaur, striking and doing a lot of damage, what with Plesiosaur being part Ice type.

"Jumpluff, Sunny Day!" the human cried again.

Jumpluff's top puffball glowed a bright yellow color, then sent a ball of energy that was the same color in to the air. The energy ball spread across the battlefield.

I needed to take out Jumpluff NOW, before it could use Solarbeam on me. I hit Jumpluff with another Shadow End, this time blowing it......

......Right into the human's face. The force from the impact knocked the human over.

"Wha-AAH! OW!" the human yelled when he landed.

Jumpluff, however, continued to fly, what with it being so lightweight. It smacked into a building's window, clearly dead.

"C'mon, let's get out of here while we still can!" Plesiosaur commanded.

I held on to her tail as she propelled herself with a Shadow Storm. We flew away from Pyrite...

...and landed in a net.

"HA! I told you I would catch them, didn't I?"

I recognize that voice...it was the voice of the human with blue grass on his head. The human with a Shadow Electabuzz.

I heard a sigh from another human.

"All right, Ardos, you win. I'll give you 50 Pokedollars."

I guess this must be human currency. The currency that we Marowak have is rocks.

"YES!" the blue-grass human cried, then he straightened himself. "Bring the Marowak and Lapras to Master Greevil. They must be punished for trying to escape."

No...I can't lose...not after all I've done...

I CAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN'TTTTTTTT!!!!

"Whoa! What's happening to the Marowak?" cried a soldier.

"It's going into Reverse Mode! Quick, get a tranquilizer gun in here now!" commanded the blue-grass human.

Hahaha...it's to late to save yourselves, humans.......

MUCH too late....HHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!

********

Hoo boy, Skull's finally cracked.

Anyway, read and review.

 

[Master of Legends]

nnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo you left me in suspense!!!!!!!! why!!!!!!!! y me?!

 

[Morpher01]

Good news! I found out how to get an avatar and a sig! Yay!

Anyway, Chapter 4 is up! Enjoy!



Chapter 4:


I charged up a Shadow End attack, then charged at the nearest human: a soldier. I punched right through him, letting him fall down, dead.

Boy, does it feel good to get revenge. A few more humans came at me.

One had very long, purple, furry tentacles coming from her head, as well as a layer of artificial skin resembling the loose skin folds of a Gardevoir.

The second wore a long robe, with unusually colored lips, and grass shaped like a Beedrill's abdomen. He also had very thin legs compared to the next human.

The last human looked as bulky as a Machoke, but wore yellow-rimmed glass over his eyes and a band of metal on his head. He wore red artificial skin to cover his torso and legs.

"Go, Misdreavus!" cried the first one.

"Go, Castform!" cried the second one.

"Go, Poliwrath!" cried the third one.

I saw that the Misdreavus and Castform were normal while the Poliwrath was a Shadow.

"Misdreavus, use Mean Look!" cried the first human.

Misdreavus looked at me, eyes glowing a dark color. I found I couldn't escape, but it didn't matter to me.

"Castform, Rain Dance!" cried the second human.

Castform fired a ball of blue energy into the air, which spread to become a raincloud, which started to pour rain.

Castform then glowed a bright white color, then stopped glowing, form completely changed to look like a raindrop.

"Poliwrath, use Shadow Storm!" cried the third human.

Poliwrath looked at me, then talked.

"Look, I don't want to hurt you. But, for some reason, I have to do what Gorigan says." it said.

"Gorigan?" I asked, puzzled.

"The human that told me to blast you with a Shadow Storm." replied Poliwrath.

"Ah. Can I kill him?" I asked.

"Go ahead, it's not like I care for him anyway. Mind if I kill the other two?"

"Not at all, fellow Pokemon." As I said that, I felt my anger die down, Reverse Mode end.

"Sweet. I've been wanting to do this since the human caught me." said Poliwrath.

Poliwrath covered its fists in dark energy, then swirled them around in circles. It pointed one fist at the tentacle-head human and one at the Beedrill-abdomen-head human. Then, the all-too familiar black tornados emerged from Poliwrath's fists.

The two humans were caught in the tornados. Without the endurance that us Pokemon have, the humans were long dead by the time the tornados dissapited.

I decided to keep my end of the bargain. I blasted the Gorigan human in two with another Shadow End attack. I felt more pain, once again feeling the recoil from Shadow End.

"Ah, that felt good." Poliwrath said. "Do you have a name?"

"Yes. My name is Skull."

"Mine's Hydropunch. Before you ask, the Lapras you came with is being taken to the head honcho human around here, apparantley called Greevil. They said something about punishing it."

No...not Plesiosaur...

"I can help you get her back. Do you want my help?" asked Hydropunch.

"If this human is as powerful as they say, then yes, I will require your help." I replied.

"Good. Now, we need to hurry. If all goes according to the way the humans have planned, your friend won't last another minute against Greevil's Shadow Pokemon."

Hydropunch ran off, with me in tow.

*******

We came up to a strange tube, apparantley for human transportation.

"We need to wait for it to come down. I would prefer that things get messy, but it's up to you." said Hydropunch.

"Well, you're about to get your wish, Hydropunch, because a bunch of humans are coming at us"

A few humans dressed in white artificial skin ran at us.

"Go, Golduck and Sableye!" one cried.

"Weird. Human sailors don't normally have Ghost-type slaves like Sableye." said Hydropunch.

"That's because it, along with Golduck, are Shadows." I told him.

"Ah, that would explain it." replied Hydropunch.

"Golduck, use Shadow Rave!" cried the human sailor.

Golduck's finned claw became surrounded by a black aura, then it struck the earth, sending out two large waves of black energy, one at me, the other at Hydropunch.

We both jumped. The shadowy waves passed harmlessly beneath us.

"Sableye, use Shadow Blitz!" the human cried again.

Sableye's eyes, claws and feet glowed a dark color. Then, it sent out one blast of dark energy from each spot.

All the blasts were directed at me. I jumped, knocking away most of the blasts with my bone. Some of them hit me, but it didn't do much damage.

It was Hydropunch's turn. His feet were surrounded in a black aura. Then, he charged at Golduck, aura growing with every step. He leaped up and kicked Golduck with his aura-surrounded feet, but it didn't do much damage.

I identified that as a Shadow Rush attack.

I surrounded the ends of my bone with shadow energy, then spun it, sending out two blasts, one at Golduck and the other at Sableye.

It missed Sableye, what with it being so small. Golduck knocked it away with its fin.

I realized that my Shadow Panic didn't work.

"Relax, Skull, sometimes Shadow Panic doesn't really do the job." Hydropunch said to me.

I noticed now that the tube had come down

"Hydropunch, we need to go. Now."

I ran for the tube, with Hydropunch in tow.

"Oh no you don't! I'm not letting my reward slip away that easily! Sableye, use Shadow Hold!"

Sableye formed two black energy balls in its claws, then fired them at me and Hydropunch.

I jumped into the tube, Hydropunch following behind, just in time to see the Shadow Hold bounce harmlessly off the doors, which had just closed.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" cried the human sailor, sinking to his knees.

The tube shot up, and I saw more humans come, much too late.

"We'll need to go through a bit to get to your friend, but it won't be that hard." Hydropunch said.

I nodded.

Hold on Plesiosaur...we're gonna free you.

*******

That's it for the fourth chapter. Read and review, guys and gals. And, by the way, how do you get a banner into a sig?

 

[Master of Legends]

it took me less then 2 min to read... but it was good

 

[Guitar dude bill]

Psychic is not a flamer.

I'm not sure if he/she meant that now. He/she just said "just be thankful it was me and not renegade or psychic" but i think he/she meant that you were a flamer. sorry i'll try to refrain from saying stuff i'm not so sure about next time.
PS: DKzM0mA. are you a mod?
EDIT AND PS: psychic could you read my ic and give me suggestions to improve it

 

[DKzM0mA]

I'm not sure if he/she meant that now. He/she just said "just be thankful it was me and not renegade or psychic" but i think he/she meant that you were a flamer. sorry i'll try to refrain from saying stuff i'm not so sure about next time.
PS: DKzM0mA. are you a mod?
EDIT AND PS: psychic could you read my ic and give me suggestions to improve it

No I am not a mod.

On topic: It's defenitally getting better. Try using more different shadow attacks, instead of storm and end and again it was a little short.