First of all, that was INCREDIBLY short, even for a prologue. There's no story line, really.
It is FULL of grammatical mistakes EVERYWHERE.
Nothing is spaced out and it looks crammed, there is no sense of anything going on...at all.
I'm not going to lie, but that was flat-out HORRIBLE. A 0.5 out of 10.
Here's my corrected version:
*beep beep*
*beep beep*
*beep beep beep*
"Argh..." I sighed as I crawled out of my nice warm bed. Slowly, I placed my hand over the alarm clock and looked at the time-
"WHAT? IT'S 1:00?! I'm already an hour late!" I quicky got changed into my blue jeans and green T-shirt and ran straight out of the door.
As I did, I heard ''What? No breakfeast?''
"Sorry, mum, I'm an hour late - I need to get my Pokémon! I'll come back later!" I keept going and sprinted to the Professor's Lab.
I knocked on the door about twenty times, then a strange man with a blue shirt and a lab coat let me in. "Thanks...I'm here to receive my starter Pokémon, so I can start my journey today..."
"I'm sorry, Shannon but the starters are all gone."
"Did you just say they're all gone?!"
"Yes, that's right...oh wait a second...just stay there..." Prof. Birch just walked straight over to this weird device and out came a red and white Poké Ball. "Here you go! I almost forgot! This strange person gave me this yesterday..."
"Cool, I've always wanted to do this! Come on out, whoever you are!" I threw the ball to the ground. It opened and this white light shimmered in the room. All of a sudden, a green gecko-like creature was there.
"No way! A Treecko?! Thanks, Professor!"
"No problem. I saved it just for you, the other Treecko went to another Trainer, well...because you were late."
"Ahhahahah, yeah well...I'll be off now..."
I was about to go, then Birch said, "Hold on - here's a Pokédex for you and also 5 Poké Balls."
"Wow, thanks Professor!" I walked out the door and Treecko slowly walked behind me. "I got to show mum and dad - oh yeah...and my brother."
I ran into my house and yelled, "MUM! DAD! RICKY! LOOK AT MY STARTER!"
They all came down and stared at the gecko-like Pokémon. "Wow, that's wonderful, Dear! Now are you all ready?"
"Sure am!"
"Be careful!" Dad said to me.
"Don't worry, I'll be fine."
Then my brother said, "Cool. Can't wait for my starter."
"Yeah, see ya!" I grabbed my backpack out of my room and placed some food and clothes in there. Then I grabbed my belt and placed the five Poké Balls Professor Birch gave me, along with Treecko's. Then I said my goodbyes to Poochyena, our family pet, and to my family, then I rocketed straight to the next town.
My version is only yours but corrected. See the difference? YOU SHOULD.
Your story is rushed. There's not plot line.
It sounds like, "I like ball. I ran with ball. Ball my friend. Ball and I beat bad guys. Ball and I win."
You don't tie any events together. It just jumps back and forth.
You also don't describe ANYTHING. I don't know what you look like. This is TERRIBLE. Are you tall, short, fat, skinny? I don't know. I know nothing about your character.
Also, your story has INCONSISTENCIES OUT THE *****HOLE. You said that Birch stated that he had "NO IDEA" what Pokémon it was, but then he "SUDDENLY KNEW" that it was a Treecko. I could drive a truck through your plotholes.
Worst of all, you haven't given us a reason to CARE about your story...at all.
I suggest you:
A: Learn how to write in English. You can't spell for sh*t.
B: Write a story that has a plot. So far, I don't care that you exist.
C: Learn how to describe things. DETAILS, DETAILS, DETAILS.
D: Write more than a garbled up mess. It was outright AWFUL to read.
E: Read my fanfic:
Pokémon Adventure - Kokubei Chronicles Look at the difference. THAT is what a decent chapter should look like.