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Simplicity (Comedy/Drama)

Discussion in 'Completed Fics' started by Bay, Dec 22, 2006.

  1. Bay

    Bay YEAHHHHHHH

    Hello everyone! Now, before I start talking a little bit about this story, I am sorry to say that I stopped doing "Nothing, Everything". Yes, a few of you are probably excited about it since I mention it a few times in other threads and such, but then I quit for a few good reasons. Trust me, you all will probably hate me for posting it. o_O;;; Okay, now on topic!

    Okay a few things.

    First, "Simplicity" is a sequel to my one shot (or a three parter in this forum) "Take Fifty Five". Now, you don't really need to read "Take Fifty Five" to understand this story, but a few jokes I put in here will reference from that story. So yeah, the jokes that dealt with past events from “Take Fifty Five” will make more sense if you do read it. If you want to read it, here’s the link: [ Take Fifty Five!

    Second, it will be a short chaptered fic, which I estimate to be about five to ten chapters. I got the plot pretty much planned up, it's only the matter of how to break it up. >.>

    Third, even though this story takes place during the holidays, updates might be slow. The reason for that is I am a slow writer and it could be a chance I might not be able to finish writing this before college starts. I will say sorry in advance if the Christmas scenes in this story are posted in late January or something like that. o_O;;;

    Fourth, this story is going to be Comedy and Drama. I originally was about to have this be all Comedy (like "Take Fifty Five!"), but then suddenly some parts of it are a little dramatic somewhat. Oh, and it will be rated PG/PG-13 for crude humor, mild language, and a few instances of violence.

    Fifth, I hope this story will be as funny as "Take Fifty Five!". If not, then sorry. It has been a little bit since I wrote a comedy fic and also written something (dang college >.>)

    Sixth, I will be using two Japanese Pokemon names (Mukuhawk and Donkarasu ). Don’t worry though, I will use more of their first names. ^^

    And last but not least, enjoy the fic!

    Simplicity ​


    .::.Prologue.::.
    Bitter at the Holidays ​


    It was one crazy summer for both Pidge and Mell.

    The two birds had made a movie called Kingdom of Pokemon last summer, but there’d been a few problems. During tryouts, a Nidorina named Nani was rejected for the role of one of the main female characters. The one that was accepted for the role was Eval, a pretty Vaporeon. Nani became so upset, she decided to seek revenge on those two Pokemon movie producers.

    She was not alone in this, though. Her friend Rex, a not so bright Charmeleon, helped out also. When their first plan failed, Nani already had a plan B, but that plan didn’t work out either. Eventually, the two of them went to jail because of what they did to Pidge (and for attempting harm to Eval).

    After Nani and Rex were in jail, the production of Kingdom of Pokemon went smoothly throughout the rest of summer and fall. The filming is finished. It is now in the finishing stages. In winter, however, it would have to be halted again…

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Snow fell gently from the fluffy white clouds. The stars burned dazzlingly on the dark blue sky. Bird Pokemon like Pidgey, Chatlot, and Tailow coughed loudly just because of the cold weather. At least at Martz Pokemon Prison, it’s warm inside.

    Colorful Christmas lights are wrapped around the five story gray building. On top of the entrance door, a sign proclaming“Merry Christmas” flashed very brightly. Inside, more Christmas lights are stuck on the walls. There are also paper cut outs of snow flakes, Santa Clause, and candy canes made by the prisoners during craft night on Tuesdays. Most of the prisoners are asleep, exhausted by the Christmas party the building held earlier that evening. Well, except for two Pokemon.

    Both a blue rabbit like Pokemon and a lizard Pokemon are writing something on their respected notepads. One of them is writing a letter to Santa Claus.

    “Dear Santa Clause,” said the Charmeleon out loud while writing the letter, “Here is what I want for Christmas. One, I would like to be evolve into a Charizard so that I can get more hot babes that way. Two, some smart pills so that no one would think I am stupid ever again. Three, a Ponyta because I always wanted to ride on one. And last, again I would like to be a Charizard. Hope I get those presents. Love, Rex.”

    After Rex had finished with his letter, he heard the Nidorina’s loud voice.

    “Ah ha! Finally, finished with my two plans!”

    The Charmeleon jerked his head and saw the female Pokemon’s face brighten up with joyful glee. Of course, he has no idea why his friend is happy.

    “Why are you so happy Nani?”

    Nani chuckled softly for a few seconds before answering, “Rex my friend, the two plans I’ve written here took me two months to thought of. I am just happy I finally managed to have it all organized.”

    “Oh, really?” said Rex excitedly. “So, what are your two plans?”

    “Well, the second plan I will tell you later. The first plan is for us to break out from this prison!”

    A frown was suddenly printed on Rex’s face. He actually did not like the sound of that plan.

    “Huh? You are not happy with this plan?” asked Nani, wondering why Rex is not happy about breaking out from prison.

    “It’s just that…over here we get three meals a day. Before we came to this prison though, we did not have enough money to buy lunch or dinner sometimes. Maybe if you are a more pretty Pokemon then we can…”

    Rex shut up when he took quick glance at Nani’s right arm forming a purple mist.

    “All right Nani, I won’t be mean about it again! Sorry! Please, don‘t use your Shadow Claw on me!”

    The cloudy mist on the Nidorina’s arm swiftly disappeared. Glad that Nani forgave him, Rex sighed in relief.

    “You better, or else I’ll defiantly hurt you next time. Now, after we go though with this first plan, this second plan will make us have four meals a day And not only that, I will get revenge on Pidge and Mell!”


    .::.Chapter One.::.
    Competition​


    On the few days before Christmas, a lot of snow covered the roofs of houses and buildings. Many Pokemon were inside their warm homes and were either drinking warm coco or singing Christmas carols. In one house however, it’s a different scene.

    A tan colored bird was watching a black and white colored movie. Those kind of movies you don‘t see much anymore except on cable and DVDs. How great today’s society is. The movie of the moment is a romance one called Darmore. The Pidgeotto was actually a sucker for those movies. Well, the old romantic movies, not the bad modern ones.

    While matching, the bird Pokemon was holding a blue pillow tightly with his big wings. On the TV screen, a purple and black female pig Pokemon was holding the body of a black skinny hound.

    “Oh Daryl, I don’t want you to ever leave,” said the Grumpig.

    The dog Pokemon’s eyes started flowing with tears. The Pidgeotto had tears rolling down his face also.

    “Please Daryl, don’t leave Emma! She’s so sweet to you!” sobbed the bird Pokemon miserably.

    “I have too. I’m sorry baby.”

    “But why?”

    “Yeah, WHY?” the Pidgeotto yelled. His wings suddenly hugged the pillow tighter. He had hold the sleeping cushion so tight, it exploded. Hundreds of white fluffy feathers whirled rapidly around in the living room. Oddly enough, he didn’t even noticed it.

    On the television screen, Daryl was about to answer Emma’s question when the TV suddenly turned off. The male bird’s mouth opened so wide a Weedle can crawl in with blissful ease. After a few seconds, he managed to mutter a few words despite his heartbreak.

    “No. NO! I got to know why Daryl has to leave Emma! Who the hell stopped the movie?”

    No words but gleeful chuckles answered his question.

    “Mell?” said the bird Pokemon angrily. He slowly turned his head to the left, and saw a blue feathered bird holding the DVD remote tightly.

    “Hehehe. Sometimes I love it when I see you get into a romantic movie a little too much. Don’t‘ know what‘s so great about those movies in the first place, Pidge!”

    That actually made Pidge a little mad. His left eye blinked a couple of times. The Pokemon’s face actually flushed a little red, just like the Swellow’s head color.

    “If you ever said that again, then you are so dead!”

    Mell gave out a couple of laughs before he said seriously, “Look Pidge, I just got a phone call from Mr. Dastard.”

    A huge smile came onto Pidge’s face. He remembered that fellow very well. “Oh, you mean the head manager of Lancelot Studios? Haven’t talked to him in a few weeks.”

    “Well, he told me that he want us to meet him at the building at three o’ clock. It’s very urgent.”

    Excitement fell instantly. The bird Pokemon answered with a whining groan. He really didn’t want to go see Mr. Dastard right at this moment. In a few hours, maybe, but not now.

    “Dang it Mell, why do we have to go to Mr. Dastard’s office? For now, I want to finish watching that movie.”

    “Well, I am sorry that you won’t be able to watch your romantic stories, but we really have to go!”

    After another whinny moan from Pidge, the Swellow swiftly grabbed his right wing and then the two were outside in the cold.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    “Dang it Mell! The air is as cold as an Icy Wind attack!”

    The icy air made Pidge’s body temperature plummet a little bit. For a second he thought his pink and gold tail feathers had tips of solid ice on them. His wheezy breathing puffed out a lot of cool mist into the air.

    Sadly for Pidge, Mell did not heard his friend’s complaint of Mother Nature. Something deep was in his mind. The blue bird Pokemon’s thoughts was interrupted when he felt a huge slap on his face.

    “Ow! That hurt!” grumbled Mell while rubbing his face. “What did you do that for?”

    “You worried too much. I can tell it from your eyes,” replied Pidge simply with a huge smirk on his face.

    The Swellow’s red face suddenly grew redder, very embarrassed of his worries.

    “Yeah, I guess you are right. Sorry about that. It’s just that I’m worried about what the meeting will be about.” All of a sudden, Mell blurted out whatever crawled inside his mind. “What if he want us to cancel Kingdom of Pokemon? Oh my gosh, what if he’s going to fire us? If that is the case, then we will be Pokemon hobos like those Meowth!”

    A second slap was deserved on Mell’s face. This time though, Mell did not protest like before.

    “Oops, sorry that I got carried away again!”

    Pidge sighed heavily before he replied, “Seriously Mell, you need to relax. I don’t think Mr. Dastard will fire us.” After the bird Pokemon said that, he coughed loudly again.

    “I hope you are right Pidge,” replied Mell unsurely. On the one hard, he trusted his friend’s word. On the other hand, Mr. Dastard had told him this meeting is urgent, so it could be either good or bad.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    In Mollywood City, a lot of Pokemon were outside with bags either on their arms or backs. Tis is the holiday season and everyone is starting to buy presents. Stores like Del-Mart, Leers, and Market are packed with athletic shoppers. Fast food places like Millies, Mr. Mime Burgers, and McMiltanks are having some sort of burger, desert, or drink holiday special. Many buildings, outside and inside, were decorated with Christmas decorations.

    Inside the three story Lancelot Studios building, there’s no holly jolly Christmas spirit.

    “I can’t believe you called me Mr. Bas-”

    Crack! Broken pieces of a vase was heard.

    “I am sorry Mr. Basta-”

    The smashing of another vase was heard again.

    “There you go again Bianaca! You called me that again!”

    “I am sorry! It’s an accident! I didn‘t meant to say that to you! I promise it won‘t happen again!”

    “Well, you’d better hope so. Now, just get out of my office.”

    When Pidge and Mell came inside the third floor, they suddenly saw a yellow colored Delcatty came out from the bosses’ room. Her chest moved up and down very hurriedly.

    “Bianaca? Is something the matter?” asked Mell with concern.

    When Bianaca heard the Swellow’s voice, she suddenly gave out a fake smile.

    “Oh, hi Mell and Pidge! Um, Mr. Das…tard is waiting for you. Right now I need to go to the bathroom.”

    Slowly, as if there was a Pokemon behind her, the Delcatty went inside the female restroom.

    “Hehe, she just dodged your question,” chuckled Pidge.

    Mell just shrugged before he answered dully, “Eh. Maybe she can’t wait to go shopping for Christmas”.

    The two slowly came inside the office and were shocked to see a hundred shards of broken vase on the rough green carpet. Pidge and Mell shuddered in fright when they heard “Culoph the Blue Nose Stantler” from the radio on Mr. Dastard’s light brown desk.

    Culoph the blue nose Stantler
    Had a very shiny nose
    And if you ever saw it
    You would even say it glowed

    All the other Stantler
    Would laugh and call him names
    They never let poor Culoph
    Play any Stantler games


    “Um…Mr. Dastard, did something happened here? An Earthquake attack from a Pokemon?” asked Pidge.

    Mr. Dastard, a brown feathered Fearow, had his right wing touching his skinny head and scratched his pink feathered hair with his left wing. His eyes looked as if he was mad at someone. When he heard Pidge’s voice, he stopped scratching his head and lifted it up a little.

    “Why, hello Mell and Pidge!” said the Fearow with a strained voice. “Glad that you can come to this important meeting. Oh, and the reason a couple of vases were broken was because Bianaca called me the b word.”

    Mell’s mouth fell open, very shocked that such a nice Delcatty like Bianaca would say such a thing. Pidge, on the other hand, went a little farther to push Mr. Dastard’s anger more farther then it should be. Of course, it’s an accident. He just wanted to know what word Bianaca called him.

    “Oh, you mean bas-”

    Before Pidge can finish his sentence, a glass cup was thrown at his face. Lucky the bird Pokemon dodged the cup, which eventually turned into a few pieces when it hit a white wall.

    “Oops, sorry,” said Pidge, embarrassed.

    Despite the cup throwing, Mr. Dastard still smiled.

    “It’s all right. Let’s forget this for a minute shall we?”

    The two birds just nodded in agreement.

    “Good. Okay, here’s the deal. I don’t know if you know those two Pokemon, but Tyler the Mukuhawk and Vincent the Donkarasu called me on speaker phone a few hours ago .

    “Wait, Tyler and Vincent?” asked Mell, shock to hear those two names. “What did they say?”

    When Pidge heard that, his left eye closed. The Pidgeotto’d heard about them before. Tyler and Vincent are not only producers but brothers also. A lot of times he wondered why Mell despised them so much.

    “They say they found out you guys did a movie about Nimus the famous Pokemon knight during the Fifty Years War.”

    “So? What’s the big deal?” questioned Mell demandingly

    “The big deal is that they are also producing the same movie about Nimus, and it will be called Pokemon Knight.”

    Both Pidge and Mell’s eyes shot wide open. They couldn’t believe on what they just heard.

    “Wait…so they are doing a movie about Nimus also? Why we haven’t heard that news?”

    “Well, we were busy with the movie and we went away to a few places,” answered Mell truthfully. “And plus, the celebrity news are more focused on celebrity divorces and what clothes they wear.”

    “Oh, so true!” nodded Pidge in agreement.

    “Heck yeah! I hate it when there are too many Pokemon celebrities going into courts!”

    A little annoyed that the two went off-topic, the Fearow yelled angrily, “Okay you two! Enough blabbering!”

    The two bird Pokemon suddenly got sweat flowing quickly on their heads. After each laughed nervously, both said at the same time, “Ah he, sorry!”

    “That’s all right. Okay, what I was about to say is that those two actually want to see you guys. They say they want you to meet them at Diago City tomorrow at twelve at this restaurant called Foods Galore.”

    “Tomorrow?” the both said in utter surprise. Pidge and Mell knew that tomorrow they have a meeting with Drake the Quagsire in the late afternoon. The reason for that is Drake is the sounds editor and that Pidge and Mell must make sure that the sound in the movie is right.

    “But Mr. Fearow, I think you should have known this already, but tomorrow we have to go meet up with Drake,” said Mell.

    “Yeah, and Diago is fifty miles away from here!”

    “Guys, I know. And actually, I already called Drake and told him that the meeting will be postponed until the next day.”

    Even though Pidge and Mell were glad that the meeting wouldn’t be for another day, they still feel a little uneasy about the meeting.

    “Mr. Dastard, why do they want to meet us?” asked Mell anxiously.

    The next words Mr. Dastard spoke left a chill up their spines more then a Blizzard attack from an Ice Pokemon.

    “They actually want to talk to you about having The Kingdom of Pokemon be shelved forever."



    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Well, that's the prologue and first chapter of the story. First, yes "Culoph the Blue Nose Reindeer" is a parody on "Ruldoph the Red Nose Reindeer". I tweek it to make it more fit in the Pokemon world. Also, sorry if I got some of the words wrong. ^^;;; Another thing is a big thanks to katiekitten for beating this for grammar mistakes. Thankies! =D

    The second chapter won't come for a little bit as I am busy with a lot of stuff at the moment. Well, again hope you guys enjoyed this fic! ^^
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2006
  2. katiekitten

    katiekitten The Compromise

    XD I really love the beginning. Old Romance movies for the world!

    You are most certainly improving, Bay. =D And this was funny, don't worry. I really liked it. XD

    Your welcome for the beta. Anytime. =D
     
  3. diampe

    diampe Groudon's enemy.

    This was hilarious!!
    great job!
     
  4. Bay

    Bay YEAHHHHHHH

    katiekitten: Aw, thanks! Also, kudos again on betaing the grammar mistakes for me! ^^

    diampe: Thanks, though I wondered which parts made you laugh. ^^;; Maybe next time when you reivewed Chapter Two!

    Well, liked I said, Chapter Two won't come for a little bit. Probably it will come at New Years Eve at the latest.

    Happy holidays!
     
  5. Sike Saner

    Sike Saner *aromatisse noise*

    Ah! I didn’t know this would be a TFF! sequel! =D

    Meaning, I reckon, that I’m lousy at paying attention to what’s going on. ><; XD

    ANYWAY. I’m sure glad to see Pidge and Mell again. Not to mention Nani and Rex…can’t wait to see what all those two might do.

    It was cute when Pidge was watching his movie. XD He sure does get into it…wonder what it’d be like to go out to the movies with him? (My guess: Continual bombardment of popcorn my angry moviegoers wishing he’d keep quiet. XD)

    Other highlights:


    Rest assured, I will be back for more of this. =)


    Oh, and one more thing…

    Don’t shop at Leers, people! Your Defense will go down![/BAAAAAAAADJOKE]

    …Yeah, let’s pretend I didn’t say that. >.> XPPPP
     
  6. Arcanine Royale

    Arcanine Royale Well-Known Member

    My procastination of reading has finally ended. I took a look at this a few days back but didn't drop a review. But now I shalt.

    Hey, I like this whole world of Mollywood and Pidge and Mell. Mr. Dastard... ah.... that's the kicker, I think.

    Also like the fact that its going to be a bit more drama. Anyway, tis very enjoyable, though the tenses are mixed up a bit here and there, but they're not too noticable.
     
  7. Bay

    Bay YEAHHHHHHH

    Sike Saner:

    It's all right. I suck at paying attention to what's going on also XD.

    Oh, you will see...;)

    Hehe, yeah. That is actually one of the reasons why my family would rather watch movies on DVD then in theathers. XD

    Hehe, tha's good. Glad to hear that. :)

    LOL. Seiously, I am thinking of doing a one shot about Leers because of that joke. XDDDDD

    Arcanine Royale:

    Hehe, glad you like Mollywood. =D Also, yep on Mr. Dastard. I think I got the idea of his name almost sounding like a bad word from the movie "Meet the Parents", which I really loved. Very funny but cute movie. ^^

    >.> Yeah, tenses are my weakest grammar points. I always seem to get mixed with them and such. Well, I am getting a bit better at it though.

    Well, thanks for the review you two! ^^

    Oh, and everyone that reviewed so far will get Pidgeotto and Swellow plushies! XD

    Okay, an announcement:

    I am pretty much done with "Simplicity"! There are still a couple of plotholes that I need to fix though. ^^

    Now, I expect the next chapter to be coming either January 2nd or January 6th. The reason for that was I am going to be a little busy getting ready for my winter quarter at my university and also so that I can let katiekitten take her time on beating the second chapter since it is a bit on the long side. If katiekitten isn't able to finish betaing on January 2nd, then it is going to be pushed back to the 6th as the first couple of days of college will be hetic with me getting books and possibly adding/dropping classes and all that jazz. XD

    Well, hope you guys have a great New Years Eve and New Years also. ^^
     
  8. IceKing

    IceKing Sexorific!

    What happened to the other cronies? I think there was an Arbok or something

    His wittiness is beyond amazing

    thought-think

    omg omg it's just like that tv show...

    The Simpsons

    That's a bit wordy

    coco-cocoa. Unless coco is something

    colored isn't needed

    Maybe he is gay

    That made me laugh out loud

    That is one cool t X_X

    was-were

    XDDD

    XDDD It finally happened

    How do you say that name? Is it a form of Bianca?

    You're parodies are so......weird....but they work XD

    I can see that perfectly

    And what drugs they snort

    Hoez snap!


    You are definetely improving vastly. Only a few noticeable grammar mistakes and less redudancy. This fic is actually quite funny to read, and it has all the markings of a good sequel. I can't wait to see that Nidorina and her silly shenanigans again. Big deal, hundreds of movies are made with the same formula all the time. But no one cares about the Indie ones. Excuse me, no one important. This is a rather interesting twist to their fantabulous movie, however. The brothers versus the gays. I wonder who will win in the end

    Not much else to comment on, I got several laughs and found it very easy to imagine I was there. You're writing too has improved greatly. I'll give the prologue+first chapter a 4/5.

    I await the next installments, and will hopefully review them unlike Heart of the Sea
     
  9. Bay

    Bay YEAHHHHHHH

    Oh, you mean James, Venny, and Adios? Nani answer that question in Chapter Three ;D

    No, he's just have a soft side. ^^ No one knows about his love for romantic movies expect for Mell XD

    YESSSS, it did! XD Names sounding like bad words for the win!

    Aw, thanks! Glad you thought this is a good sequel. Seriously, I thought the sequel would be bad! XD And don't worry, you will see what Nani and Rex are up to.

    Hehe, thanks. That is what I am trying to do with this story. I am trying to put at least a good level of description so that it won't be rushed though at the same time won't kill the comedy (through the description might be heavy in the dramatic parts).

    Also, glad you will await the next installments. I just hope the next chapters will be good. Again, thanks for the review IceKing. Will try to keep a better eye on typos next time. Oh, and you get Swellow and Pidgeotto plushies too. ;D

    And everyone else: After the second chapter is posted, the updates might be slower then I thought as college will pretty much take a load of my time and also I am thinking about entering the Myths and Legends contest. Nothing else to say but hope you had fun on the first day of 2007!
     
  10. Bay

    Bay YEAHHHHHHH

    Okay everyone, here is the second chapter! This chapter is part comedy, part drama. I had fun writing Nani and Rex’s scenes in this one. ^^ Also, this is where two new characters are introduced. Oh, and thanks katiekitten again for betaing this chapter! =D

    .::.Chapter Two.::.
    Meeting Tyler and Vincent

    Nightfall came a few hours later. At Martz Pokemon Prison, all of the prisoners slept peacefully. Only Rex and Nani were still awake. At their jail cell, clumps of dirt soared up high. Sounds of digging could be heard from their tiny jail room.

    “I don’t know about this Nani. It’s nine o’ clock and we should be sleepingWhat if the guards will come?” Rex said while Nani started digging. He wasn’t doing the same thing as he feared the guards.

    “Oh come on Rex!” Nani said from inside the hole she made. A couple of seconds later, her head popped up like a mechanic Furret in a whack a mole machine. “The guards usually check the fifth floor first during this time.”

    Rex gave a quick laugh, knowing what Nani said was true. On the fifth floor, the more dangerous criminals were assigned to the fifth floor. “Yeah because the fifth floor was with the most treacherous Pokemon are.”

    Nani just gave a nod. “Lucky that we will be able to make a run for it before the guards will find out. But, just incase, you already knew what to do. Now, help me with this hole.”

    Not wanting Nani to get mad or force him to do this, he decided to help the Nidorina dig the hole. Claws popped out from his hands. Rex then started slashing the dirt away. Soon more dirt flew up then before. The two thought they will get away with this. Things will take a turn though…

    A Golduck was walking through the first floor of the prison hall while the two dug the hole. The blue duck Pokemon looked around to see that everyone was sleeping like they were supposed to. After a little bit, he smiled.

    “Everyone’s sleeping so far. Good, good!”

    His smile suddenly faded when he saw some dirt came out from a certain jail cell. Eyes went from small to huge. The Golduck gave a confused look.

    “Wha?”

    Quickly, he ran to that cell. When he came close, he saw a huge hole right in the middle. His eyes went even wider after he saw that.

    “What the? Prison breakers here? Okay you guys, get out of the hole this instant!”

    All of a sudden, both Rex and Nani got out of the hole. First, Rex puffed out a lot of black smoke from his mouth. A couple of seconds later, the Pokemon guard couldn’t see much anymore because of the Smokescreen’s darkness. A beam of glittery ice suddenly come towards him. After the Ice Beam struck him, his whole body froze into solid ice.

    Rex’s eyes went spacious in excitement. “Wow Nani, nice one!”

    “Hehe, thanks,” Nani answered with a sly smile. “All right, let’s hurry up before the other guards will find out!”

    The two then quickly went back to their escape hole.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    That same night, when Pidge and Mell came back home, the two were talking about the meeting they just had with Mr. Dastard. They are at their small kitchen inside their house.

    “I can’t believe it!” yelled Pidge furiously. “That pretty boy hawk and that Murkrow that just took plastic surgery wanted us to shelve our movie?” He suddenly it the brown kitchen table, which made a few fruits roll to the blue marbled floor. “Why don’t they scrap their own movie? I guess they think that their movie is better then ours?”

    Mell did not pay any attention to Pidge’s angry lecture. Instead, he was thinking about Tyler and Vincent.

    Oh you two. You guys always think I can never be good as you two.

    When Pidge saw that Mell wasn’t paying attention, he waved his left wing on the Swellow’s face. The bird Pokemon then screamed, though not very loud.

    “Mell? Mell? MELL!”

    Mell’s shook his head very fast when he heard Pidge’s loud voice. He was a little embarrassed that he got lost in his own thoughts.

    “Oh, sorry Pidge. I was just thinking about something else. What were you saying?”

    Pidge was about to answer his question until he noticed Mell’s voice. To him, it had an uneasiness to it. He believed something must be wrong with the blue bird Pokemon.

    “Mell, is there something the matter?” asked Pidge caringly.

    That actually shock Mell a little bit. His back moved a little bit away from the kitchen table. Even though there was something the matter with him, he didn’t want to admit it.

    “Me? No no no! Nothing’s wrong, hehe!”

    That made Pidge’s suspicions grew more. Now he believed Mell was hiding something from him. At first, he was about to ask again, but then decided that maybe the Swellow would tell him in his own time.

    “Okay Mell, if you said so. Well, I don’t know about you, but I am actually nervous about the meeting with those two tomorrow.”

    “Don’t worry Pidge, I am nervous too,” said Mell with a reassuring smile. In fact, more worried then you.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Alarms suddenly went off in the prison. Bright red lights whirled around to try and find the prisoners that ran away.

    “We whoo! We whoo! Attention, attention! We have a couple of runaways here! Be on the look out for a dumb Charmeleon named Rex and a mean and ugly Nidorina named Nani! We whoo! We whoo!”

    A couple miles off from the prison, the muddy ground burst open. A Nidorina and a coughing Charmelon came out from the hole.

    “Ugh, mud tastes nasty!” coughed Rex. He then spit out mouthfuls of few watery ground out of his mouth.

    “Come on, let’s go! I don’t want those guards get us! Oh, and I already know where we can go to. ”

    The Nidorina darted off a few feet ahead until she saw Rex going back to the hole. Both her eyes and mouth became very large.

    “Rex! Why are you going back to that whole?”

    “I forgot my Hello Skitty doll that one of the prisoners gave me for my birthday!” Rex said the second he went inside the hole.

    Nani sighed very heavily, surprised and mad at the same time for Rex’s reason to go back to prison. She then grabbed Rex’s arm and dragged him away from the hole.

    “Noooooooo! My preciousssss!” the lizard Pokemon cried.

    The two Pokemon then dashed quickly and made a run for it, with Nani still holding Rex’s hand.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    The next day the two birds went to Diago City. It was a little bit smaller then Mollywood, but big nonetheless. Like Mollywood, many Pokemon were outside carrying bags of their Christmas shopping. Also like Mollywood, the shops were jam packed with eager shoppers trying to get the best deals.

    The place where Pidge and Mell were to meet up Tyler and Vincent was actually a small restaurant. Inside, there were many pictures of famous Pokemon celebrities pinned on the dark red walls. That was pretty much the food place where a few celebrities went to eat.

    When the Pidgeotto and the Swellow came inside the restaurant, a deep male voice called their names.

    “Pidge! Mell! We’re at table fourteen!”

    The two turned around and saw two black colored birds at table fourteen. One has red streaks on the bottom tip of its hair while the other has its hair look like a cowboy hat. After Pidge and Mell went and sat at the table, Tyler and Vincent each smiled very widely.

    “Why hello you two. Glad you guys can make it,” said Tyler the Mukuhawk sweetly.

    “Well, I am not,” the Swellow spoke acidly. He then gave a deadly glare at the two.

    One thought just came in Pidge’s mind.

    Here goes that hatred again!

    Both Tyler and Vincent giggled at that comment. That made Mell’s face blushed a little more red.

    “Always, huh?” butted in Vincent.

    Mell’s almost got out from his seat to beat up those two, but Pidge managed to hold his body still.

    “Please Mell, don’t lose your patience that fast,” whispered Pidge while holding Mell’s body tightly.

    At first, Mell wanted to hurt Tyler and Vincent. In fact, his anger rose in temperature. He later decided not to. If he did, then Pidge would be very upset with him.

    The Swellow took a deep breathe and then said, “Okay, let’s cut to the chase. Now, why do you want us to shelve The Kingdom of Pokemon?”

    “Well, the main reason is so we won’t need to compete,” replied the Mukuhawk in a calm voice.

    “Wait, competition? What do you mean by that?” Pidge asked from the heart. In truth, he was not sure what Tyler meant by that.

    “Basically, we will try to lure more people into watching our movie with big promotions and such.”

    The Swellow suddenly closed his wings very tightly. Just when Pidge thought Mell’s temper lowered down a little, it suddenly rose dangerously up again.

    “Compete? What do you mean by that? All we ever do is compete!”

    What? thought Pidge with confusion pinned in his mind. So the three actually knew each other? His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the Donkarasu talking.

    “Rest assured, we both decided that since it’s obvious more people will go see Pokemon Knight then The Kingdom of Pokemon, we are nice enough to save you from the embarrassment,” said Vincent nicely.

    To Mell though, he thought the bird Pokemon faked the niceness. That irritated him more.

    “Nice? NICE? You call that nice? Also, what the heck? Why do you guys think your movie version of Nimus’ story is better then ours?

    Not able to control his anger, Mell banged the table, which made all of the glasses fall and spill their water. All of the Pokemon suddenly stopped eating their food and stared at table fourteen. A couple of seconds later, they resumed back to eating. Pidge slapped his forehead hard. He couldn’t believe his friend had lost his temper again.

    “Well, there are a couple of reasons,” Tyler answered Mell’s question. “First, we have more well known actors then you guys have. Milando Cepido the Scyther plays the part of Nimus and Marlene the Flaffy plays the part of the princess. Second, we’ve spent much more money on this project. And third, we are more well known producers then you guys.”

    Preparing for another angry outburst from Mell, Pidge covered his face with both of his wings. Too bad that it was unnecessary.

    “Gees, that really doesn’t mean a much better movie,” said Mell in a calm voice. “I’ve seen too many big budget film turn into huge flops.” Mell gave out a sigh before he continued to speak. “Sometimes, it disgusts me that now these days producers are doing movies for the money instead of the joys of the art. I tell you, art is dying.”

    Pidge suddenly let go of his wings from his head and gave out a sigh of relief. He was glad Mell didn’t lose his temper.

    “You know, he has a point!” Pidge barged in nervously. After he said that, he gave out an uneasy laugh. The bird Pokemon was afraid either Mell or the two brother producers might smack him for saying that.

    Unaffected by what Mell said, Vincent gave out a chuckle before he talk. “You know what Mell and Pidge, we will let you actually have some time to think about it. Okay, you guys have until New Years Eve to let us know what is your guys’ decision. Oh, and a phone call or email would be nice. Come on Tyler, let’s go.”

    Vincent and Tyler slowly got out of their seats and then went outside. As soon as they left the restaurant, Mell lied his head down on the table. Uncertainty came over Pidge’s mind. He wanted to make Mell feel better but was afraid he would make Mell more mad.

    Man, this wasn’t Mell’s day.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Back at home, while Pidge was on the computer, Mell lied down on the blue sofa. The blue bird had his right wing touching his forehead.

    “Mell, do you think Tyler and Vincent are really serious when they say they will compete against us?”

    “I do believe so Pidge. I do believe so,” answered Mell with a sad tone in his voice. After he said that, his head slightly went down.

    “Oh I…” Pidge stopped his sentence midway thorough when he read an unexpected email. For a moment he can’t open his mouth.

    “Pidge, what’s wrong?” asked Mell when he noticed that his friend did not finish his sentence.

    “There’s an email from Tyler and Vincent!”

    That made Mell get out from the sofa as fast a Rapidash. After he came close to the screen, he read the email message aloud.

    “Dear Mell and Pidge. Here’s the link to the website of the movie Pokemon Knight. You will be presently surprised. From, Tyler and Vincent.”

    Mell quickly right click the purple bolded word “link” and then a new website suddenly appeared. For the first few minutes Pidge and Mell looked through the website. After they finished skimming through it, both were surprised at how beautiful and well organized the site looked.

    “Oh my gosh, so many features in that website! Character profiles, actor profiles, pictures, songs, screensavers, wallpapers, and even five games are in there!”

    “See Pidge! It looks like the competition has started already!”

    Indeed it has. And to top off that, it won’t get any more simple then that.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Well, that is the end of the second chapter. I would like to give credit to Pink Parka Girl for the Hello Skitty bit. I saw her art thread and she did a Pokemonised version of Hello Kitty. XD

    Again, hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Oh, and Chapter Three will probably won’t come for a little bit as winter quarter at my university is coming up in a couple of days. Have a good day everyone and don't forget to leave a review!
     
  11. Sike Saner

    Sike Saner *aromatisse noise*

    So, two new characters have come into the picture. I like the choice of Vincent as a name for a Donkarasu character; it just seems to fit somehow. And while I’m at it, I think Mukkuhawk are cool (cool-looking, specifically), so I appreciated that that species was chosen for Tyler. ^^

    And I knew I’d enjoy any scenes featuring Rex and Nani. Lol, Gollum-Rex. :p

    Other highlights:

    *snort!* XP

    XD

    Oh, man, imagine if they actually had responded with violence—and I mean if ALL THREE had…

    Mell, Tyler, and Vincent: *inflict triple-smack of DOOM on Pidge*
    Pidge: *is sent flying into next year*

    …XDDDD
     
  12. indigestible_wad

    indigestible_wad Well-Known Member

    Well since my stupid computer deleted what I was going to say before it was posted, I'll just post a simplified version.

    Basically, I saw lots of tense changes between past and present. Some were very obvious and some weren't. It made the story seem a bit childish. I noticed a few other gramatical errors, but none were that big of a deal comparitively.

    In general it's not that bad of a story. I liked it. There were a couple parts where I chucked, but in general it seemed like you were trying too hard to do something that's meant more for tv than paper. You did pretty well though for what you had to work with.
     
  13. Arcanine Royale

    Arcanine Royale Well-Known Member

    Hey Bay... yeah... I was going to do this last night, but there was school today so...

    You need a comma there, because it's a direct address.

    Comma for the same reasons as above, and I'm pretty sure you need a 'had' so that it's past tense still.

    Need an of.

    Need a comma, and 'was with' should be 'is where'. You don't speak in past tense.


    'Then' should be 'than' - this time, it is the comparison form. 'Will' should be 'would' to keep past tense. The ending sentence in above quote is also in present tense. It almost sounds like an author's note... 'Things would take a turn, however (or though)' might make more sense.
    'Are' should be 'were.'

    I'm pretty sure you forgot an 'h' to make 'it' 'hit'.

    Need to add the 'as'.

    Grew should 'grow'.

    Said should be say. People speak in present tense.

    'Then' should be 'than' as you are using the comparitive form in this case.

    I'm pretty sure 'off' should 'away'.

    “Ugh, mud tastes nasty!” coughed Rex. He then spit out mouthfuls of few watery ground out of his mouth.[/QUOTE]

    ??? I'm not sure what that should be, but right now it doesn't make much sense.

    I think you need to add 'to' in that underlined part. The last word should be 'too'.

    Wow, that paragraph is just sad. A grown Charmealeon/Charmander whining for a Hello Skitty doll. LOL.

    Has should be had.

    Then should be 'than'.

    Well, I did quite enjoy this chapter, Bay. The plot clipped along nicely and the characters are qutie nicely contrived. What I don't understand is WHY Vincent and Tyler want the film shelved. Couldn't they just let it play out? Well, let me rephrase that... I don't see how they have the power to get the movie shelved. Yes.

    Bay, your grammar and writing is gradually improving. You're still messing up the tenses a couple of times, and you need some commas for direct addresses (a few more that I didn't point out in the last paragraphs.) But, overall, your writing is improving nad so has this fic. Nice work, and I can't wait for Chapter Three. Well, I guess I'll have to, but...
     
  14. Timid Kyogre

    Timid Kyogre Endangered Creature

    I wanted to review this from before, but didn't really have the time. So, HERE I AM.

    D:

    Lmao, the Mr. Dastard thing is quite funny. XD

    I must say, when you compare this to the chapters of 'Heart of the Sea' (that's the name of your old fic...right? o.o), it's really better than before. You've seriously improved. You just need to work a bit more on your grammar. ^^

    That made me lol. XD

    Mistakes:

    Don't confuse between tenses. It should all be in past tense, like this:

    "The filming was finished. It was in the finishing stages.", or any other way you prefer.

    It's the same problem here. It all happened BEFORE, it isn't happening NOW. Change all the red parts to 'were'.

    1 - were
    2 - was

    OOOOOHHH, THE RETURN OF YOUR MOST COMMON MISTAKE!

    You forgot something. YOU tell me what is it that you've missed. Trust me, I've pointed it out and explained it many, many times. XP It's okay, everyone makes mistakes.

    By the way, that mistake has been repeated a lot of times in here. It's quite simple, though. Just beware of it next time, okay? ^^

    If you think you need help with it, I'll be glad to. Just ask me.

    - Change 'thought' to 'think'

    Wait, Nani is a Shadow Pokemon? oO;

    ...or is it a name of an attack that I forgot? I think you probably meant Shadow Ball, or?

    It was, Bay. IT WAAAAASSSS.

    Thoughts = plural. Then, it should be 'were' instead of 'was'

    I think it's supposed to be 'worry'.

    Happen

    I'll review chapter two later on. Right now, I have to go cause I got loads of things to do. D:

    ~Timid Kyogre
     
  15. Bay

    Bay YEAHHHHHHH

    Sike Saner:

    Hehe, thank you for saying that. Yeah, I like the names too. XD

    Man, what’s so funny is each time I thought about that scene, it gives me the giggles all the time. XD

    indigestible wad:
    Yeah, I see what you mean. Some parts are pretty random. Eh, I am not that great in comedy but I still enjoy doing this story though. ^^ I am glad you liked the story so far though. Well, I will try to not have the rest of the story have too much stuff that are meant for TV.

    Arcanine Royale:

    Well, they didn’t really have the power to get the movie shelved. It’s actually more of them threating Pidge and Mell to do that or else. If they do have power, then they would have done it on their own someway, in my opinion. Sorry if you are not convinced of this. ^^;;

    Also, all I am going to say is Pidge’s suspicions about Mell knowing Vincent and Tyler will come into play on more details on the WHY those two want the movie shelve.

     
  16. Timid Kyogre

    Timid Kyogre Endangered Creature

    YES, I actually found enough time to review the second chapter!

    Niiiice. I like Furret. =D

    XD That made me lol.


    lmao. Poor him. ;;

    That quote couldn't be more true.

    It's awesome.

    AWESOME.

    Change it to either:

    On the fifth floor, the more dangerous criminas were assigned.

    OR

    The more dangerous criminals were assigned to the fifth floor.

    I might have read it in a wrong way, but I think you should remove the red part.

    Shocked

    Than

    Again, than

    Oh and, if you seriously can't find anyone to beta for you, I'll help if you like. ^^

    ~Timid Kyogre
     
  17. Bay

    Bay YEAHHHHHHH

    Hehe, glad you like that quote. I actually got that from my univeristiy. Okay, a few months ago after I came out from my English class, I saw a few students drawing on the sidewalk with chalk. On the sidewalk, I saw the words "art is dying" all over the place. XD

    And you are willing to beta? Yayyyyyyy! I will let you beta the third chapter as soon as I check it over a couple of times. =D

    ...Speaking of the third chapter everyone, I am here to say that I am almost done looking over the third chapter. There is just this one more part I need to look over. So yeah, expect the third chapter to come in a few days or so. Chapter Four though...it all depends if I manage to finish all of my readings and studies and then have a load of time. XD The chances of that though are slim as I have to read a lot for my European History class. >.>

    Well, I hope to bring in the third chapter as soon as possible. I will go to sleep right now as I have an early morning class to go to. ^^;;
     
  18. Bay

    Bay YEAHHHHHHH

    All right, here’s the new chapter! Sorry it took so long. College has been very hectic and also a few weeks ago I manage to get a job. Okay, a few things:

    First, I know it’s close to spring and here a chapter taking place in Christmas Eve. I hope I don’t read any complaints about it. I apologize in advance if you guys feel a little weird reading a Christmas story right now in the moment and such. ^^;;

    Second, now the English names for the D/P Pokemon are slowly being revealed. (Remember Tyler and Vincent? ) Now, at the moment their D/P English names are not reveled yet. When they do however, it might be a chance I might have to edit the earlier chapters a bit. I really haven’t decided it yet. It could be a chance their English names will be revealed when Chapters Four or Five will be posted here. At the moment though, their Japanese names are still in use.

    Third, thanks Timid Kyogre for betaing this chapter for me! Really appreciated it.

    Fourth, this chapter might not be my best, writing wise. Because of school and such, this is best I can do at the moment. Chapter Four I will try to make the writing of it better. I will say sorry in advance if the writing in this chapter is a bit of not so great quality.

    And lastly, this is the chapter where the elements of Drama come into play here. There will be some Comedy in it, though this one is going to be mostly Drama somewhat.

    Well, nothing else to say except enjoy this chapter!

    .::.Chapter Three.::.
    Unexpected Events

    That same holy night...

    A small brown cottage was on top of a grassy hill a few miles away from Mollywood. The chimes on top of the door, which looked like Chimecho, danced gently to the strange rhythm of the wind. The roses on the golden pots swished and turned very gently. All was peaceful that night, until…

    Nani and Rex stepped on the blue 'Welcome' mat printed on it. The Nidorina rapidly knocked on the door while Rex lazily looked at his dirty claws.

    “Keisha! Keisha, open up!”

    A few seconds later, Nani’s screaming paid off. Off open the door came appearing a skinny bird clad in all metal. When the bird Pokemon suddenly saw Nani, she beamed a huge smile.

    “Oh my gosh, Nani! Like, I haven’t seen you in a long time!” squealed Keisha, with a smile following her excitement.

    A smirk was also shown on Nani’s face.” I know! How long, has it been?”

    “Best friends,” mumbled Rex in annoyance of those two.

    “Oh, probably like a few months. Besides, you were in prison.”

    Out of embarrassment, Nani closed her eyes and then scratched her forehead, “Um…yeah. It’s not really big though.”

    Rex tried to hold his laughter. He couldn’t believe Nani lied to her best friend. He didn't succeed in doing that, though. After the fire type gave the loudest snort, he gave a huge chuckle.

    Oh dear gosh no! He wouldn’t dare! Nani thought worryingly to herself. She quickly glanced at Keisha, giving a look of confusion. Both Keisha’s facial expression and Rex’s laughter made her want to leave that instant.

    “What do you mean? You are charged of attempted murder, and you broke out from jail!”

    A deserved punch on Rex’s face made him shut up. A line of blood flowed from the Charmeleon’s broken nose after that blow.

    “Ow, that really hurt!” Rex cried painfully while rubbing his nose.

    Nani gave the Charmeleon a harsh stare, “Seriously, Rex, shut your trap!”

    “Wait, so you actually got out of jail?” said Keisha in disbelief, “I actually thought you aren't in jail anymore!”

    Ashamed, Nani put her head down while she spoke. “Yes, it’s true that I broke out from prison, and that is why I am here. I know you have a few stuff that will change our appearance.”

    At first, Keisha didn’t want to help Nani nor Rex out. Doing a favor for a convict didn’t sound right to her. On the other hand, Nani is her best friend and she had always believed in friendship. After thinking for a moment, she made her firm decision.


    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    CHRISTMAS EVE

    Christmas Eve, the day before Christmas Day. Traffic was everywhere outside of Mollywood. Many Pokemon went to go do their last-minute Christmas shopping. Funny how a lot of them called in sick just to do that. Mell, on the other hand, was lucky to be a flying Pokemon.

    He just came out from Mr. Mime Burgers. Inside the bag Mell was holding were pancakes, hash browns and eggs. The reason he went to the fast food restaurant was because the bird Pokemon wanted something from that place. While flying, something came up.

    Almost forgot! Pidge told me we ran out of milk and cereal. Better go to the store, then!

    It didn’t take Mell long to reach to one of his favorite grocery stores. After he saw the sign 'The Pokemon Market' on a huge peach building, he descended down slowly. It was his favorite place because of the low prices. He and Pidge try to buy things as cheap as possible so that money can be saved on their movies. Another reason was because of the very nice employees in there.

    When he had reached down a few feet away from the entrance, something caught his eye. A lot of 'Pokemon Knight' posters were on the wall. The golden medieval lettered movie title was at the bottom of the paper advertisement. On top of the poster, a Scyther and Flaffy hugged each other, both blended in the desert background. On the bottom, a few Pokemon fought one another. Mell raised a brow when he saw that.

    “What‘s next, more posters and a big billboard?” he said it harshly. Mell soon learned he spoke too soon.

    The movie posters were all around the building. Not only that, a few got posted on a few other buildings like Del Mart and a small beauty salon place called Missy’s. Mell’s eyes went up a little bit to only see a big billboard that look almost the same as the Pokemon Knight posters, only more stretch out. After a quick grunt from his mouth, Mell went inside the store.

    “Eh, probably most of them went Christmas shopping,” Mell said softly when he saw not much Pokemon in there. After he shrugged, the bird Pokemon was walking to the dairy section until one glance at a red cereal box suddenly made him hate Tyler and Vincent even more.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Back at home, Pidge was watching television. A few minutes ago, he had yet again another email from Vincent and Mell and it said to watch Channel Seventeen. That made him do it so he decided to check it out. On the screen a Sunflora was talking to a Flaffy.

    “So, tell us a little bit about your upcoming movie [/I]Pokemon Knight[/I].”

    “Well, it’s basically the story of the famous knight name Nimus…”

    A door being slammed made Pidge face away from the television. He saw Mell breathed very heavily while holding two bags. Not absolutely sure what to do, Pidge gave a tiny smile.

    “Hey, Mell, got everything?”

    Mell did not answer. Instead, he went to the kitchen. Seconds later, a slamming sound was heard.

    “Huh?” Pidge said after he had blinked his eyes a few times. The Pokemon later went inside the kitchen to see what was wrong.

    When Pidge came inside, he saw Mell’s head covered with both of his wings. The friend frowned, sad to see that scene. He knew whenever the Swellow did that, that meant he was in a bad mood.

    Guess I should leave him alone, Pidge thought before he turned around. The producer was about to leave the kitchen until he heard Swellow’s voice.

    “Pidge, look at this,” Mell said it slowly in a dark tone.

    After he had turned back around, Pidge saw Mell pointing at the Beery Jacks cereal box with Mialndo’s face on it. A nervous laugh came from the Pidgeotto, knew Mell not liking the competition getting more fierce one bit.

    “Hehehe…guess it’s not a good time to tell you what else Vincent and Tyler did.”

    Slowly, Mell let go of his wings from his head. He then looked at Pidge with a harsh stare.

    “Is it with Marlene on that show you were watching?”

    After he had shook his head, Pidge responded, “No. Last night when I went to the video store to return my romance movies, I saw a cardboard box of one of the actors in the movie and it said, ‘Enter a chance to win a trip to Fortree City!’ in big letters.”

    Mell’s eyes abruptly went huge. Rage started to form inside his heart. A couple of seconds later, he let it all out.

    “Gosh dang it! Those selfish producers, already doing promotions! The worst part is this is probably not the last of it!” After a stressful cry, Mell covered his face with his wings again.

    Pidge put his head down, agreeing with what Mell said.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    That day, Vincent and Tyler decided to do a little last minute Christmas shopping. Too bad it had to be at the Diago City Mall. Also, they forgot Christmas Eve was when most Pokemon went shopping.

    Inside the mall, many shoppers are crazily trying to get the items on their shopping list. Not only that, fights occurred as well. For instance, ten Pokemon fought bitterly for one messily Gamestation 7. It actually got a little bloody, though no one died.

    It took an hour for Tyler and Vincent to finish their Christmas shopping. The two flew up high in the powdery sky with bags on their backs. Luckily, they did not buy much stuff. While Vincent looked down at the many Pokemon carrying bags, Tyler thought about something. It took him a little while to finally talk about it to his brother.

    “Hey Vincent, I think we need to talk.”

    The Donkarasu jerked his head to face his brother and then said, “Talk about what?”

    “About Pidge and…Mell. Also, in a serious manner.”

    That shocked Vincent a little bit. For once, this was actually the first time they talk seriously about Pidge and Mell.

    “Why, Tyler?”

    “Do you think we were too hard on Mell?”

    Vincent replied with an uproarious chuckle. He laughed so hard and coughed loudly.

    “Are you serious?” asked Vincent in a solemn voice.

    “I am dead serious. Look, I have been thinking...maybe we should have been easier on him.”

    When the huge crow Pokemon heard that, he huffed a grunt before he replied to his brother’s answer.

    “But don’t you remember the reason why we were not nice to Mell in the first place?”

    That made Tyler pause and think about it for a minute. True, there was one reason why they treated Mell badly. Still, he felt it was very childish of them to have done that.

    “Yes, I remember the reason why. But still, we could have been nicer to him. Maybe then we wouldn’t have to rub our success on his face and break his spirits all the time.”

    “But that’s the thing. The Swellow has to learn that he can never beat us.”

    “And that’s the other thing. We keep calling him Swellow or Mell. Why don’t we once in a while call him-”

    All of a sudden Vincent covered Tyler’s mouth, as if the starling Pokemon was about to say something forbidden.

    “Again, he is not- ow!”

    Somehow, the Mukuhawk bit Vincent’s wing. As soon as his brother let go, Tyler gave out an angry sigh.

    “See what I mean! We treat him as if he is our worst enemy.”

    “Yeah, and it’s so surprising he went through with…”

    “VINCENT!” shouted Tyler angrily, pretty annoyed at his brother’s lack of seriousness on Mell. After Vincent gulped nervously, Tyler spoke again, “See, that’s why! When was the last time we were nice to him? Besides, it’s the holidays.”

    “Oh, so I guess we can just be nice to him this Christmas?” said Vincent. It’s obvious he was still unaffected by this.

    Tyler softly slapped his own head. He couldn’t believe his brother’s uncaring response. After another angry sigh, he talked again.

    “You know what, just forget it. If you are not going to be serious about this, then I am just wasting my time talking to you about it.”

    For once, Vincent thought about Mell seriously. After he had blinked a few times, he went into deep thought.

    Hm…maybe my brother is right. We should be more nicer to him, and not just this holiday, but probably for now on. Also, maybe it’s good that we should not just call him “Mell” or “Swellow”.

    “Wait, Tyler. You know what, you are right. I think we should be more nicer towards Mell. Now I think about it, I feel bad that we treated him like garbage after all these years.”

    That made Tyler faced his brother and a smile lifted on his face. Because of that, Vincent gave out a smile too. Soon, an idea struck and made him feel jovial inside.

    “Also, I think we should tell Mell and Pidge that they don’t need to shelve their movie if they don’t want to.”

    Tyler nodded and then said joyfully, “Yes, we should do that. In fact, let’s do that tonight!”

    “Yeah, that would be great! And not only that, let’s go back to the mall to buy them some presents!”

    The smile on Tyler’s face quickly faded away. His face now look as if he feared of something.

    “Heck no! Didn’t you see how packed the mall is? I don’t want to be fighting a couple of Jynx for clothes or something.”

    “Oh come on! It’s the holidays after all,” chimed Vincent while he wore a huge grin on his face. The brother later punched Tyler lightly a few times on his chest.

    Originally, Tyler was about to say no again. He seriously didn't want to back to the mall. After a second thought, he decided to go with it. Besides, it’s Christmas.

    “Okay, fine! We can go back to the mall, but only for an hour!”

    With that said, the two birds turned to go back to the mall.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Rex and Nani were inside Mr. Mime Burgers at Mollywood City, eating French fries and vanilla milkshakes, and enjoying every second of it.

    “You know, Nani, I still can’t believe how you changed into a Nidoqueen all of a sudden. Man, you are much more bigger than me now.”

    Indeed, Nani had changed. Her skin was now dark blue, she was able to stand on her hind legs, and her horn grew a couple of inches. She’s a Nidorina no more.

    “Hehe, I knew Keisha would still have some Moon Stones left. Still, it’s too bad she has no more Rare Candies. You could have been a Charizard!”

    Rex gave out a sigh of disappointment. Being a Charizard had been his long time dream. Now the Charmeleon has to wait a little longer for it.

    “Man, being a Charizard would be cool,” All of a sudden, he started scratching a green bow circled around his neck, “Damn it, this bow tie is very itchy! Can I take it out please Nani?”

    “Sorry Rex,” answered Nani with a hint of amusement in her voice, “If you do, then you might get noticed.”

    “Eh, I guess you are right,” said Rex while scratching the bow tie, “You know, it would be funny that a different Charmeleon and a different Nidorina are put in jail instead of us!”

    Rex actually expected Nani to hit him for saying that. Instead, she planted a smirk on her face, “Ah, but are there any dumb Charmeleons and mean Nidorinas?”

    After he heard that, Rex put his head in shame, “I guess not...”

    “Good boy! And that’s why I need an evolution, and you need a bow.”

    After the Nidoqueen finished the sentence, a female Wartotle’s face appeared on the screen.

    “We have breaking news. A Farfetch’d by the name of Dawson escaped from Mollywood City Prison an hour ago. Dawson went to jail for stealing unsold Christmas trees. Everyone, remember to put your Christmas trees somewhere safe! If any of you have any whereabouts on Dawson, remember to call the Mollywood City Police as soon as possible.”

    “Dawson? Wait, didn’t we saw him before at the Martz Pokemon Prison a few weeks ago?” asked Rex.

    “Yeah we have. One crazy Farfetch’d. So glad the prison got overcrowded and he’s one of the guys that has to move to another prison. Also, thank goodness Venny, Adios, and James are moved to that prison also.”

    When Rex heard that, his eyes grew huge. Sure, he knew that those guys were moved to that prison also, but he enjoyed their company a lot.

    “Well, I am not glad those three are gone. Man, we had so much fun during meal hours and craft nights.” After he said that, Rex gave a reminisced sigh.

    A few seconds after Nani drank her soda, she spoke again. “Okay, now you know what happens next, right?”

    Rex shook his head and then said truthfully, “Actually, no.”

    “Really?” sighed Nani heavily, a little disappointed. “Ah well. Remember how I told you I will talk to you about the second plan I have?”

    Rex just answered with a quick nod, afraid what he will say might make Nani mad.

    “Good. Now, this is the plan that will have my vengeance on Pidge and Mell. And yes, Rex, you better listen to this one very closely...”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Back at Mell and Pidge’s home, Mell was on the phone with Mr. Dastard while Pidge was browsing the internet.

    “What...did you say again?”

    “I just got word that Tyler and Vincent entered Pokemon Knight into the Moonwaltz Film Festival.”

    For a second Mell thought his heart beat in rage, “Moonwaltz Film Festival? That’s the most well-known film festival in Mollywood!”

    “Not only that, but they also entered it to the Manes Film Festival.”

    “That, too?” Mell screamed at the phone, “THAT, TOO? Don’t tell they entered that movie in other film festivals...”

    “Yes, they did, but those two are the most critical ones.”

    Mell couldn’t believe this. Already those two entered their movie into many film festivals. He’s a little disappointed that his movie is technically not finish yet.

    “Ugh, we still need a couple of touch ups on our movie before we can be able to turn it in to film festivals and such.”

    “Yes, I know. Well, I have nothing else to say except just hope Kingdom of Pokemon will do fine at the box office.” Mr. Dastard later hung up on the phone.

    “Oh, dang, it will all lead to the box office!”

    Mell banged his head on the wall a few times, but stopped doing that when he heard Pidge’s voice.

    “Mell, you won’t guess what Tyler and Vincent emailed us now!”

    The Swellow moved sluggishly toward the computer. When Pidge saw that, he noticed his friend’s lack of interest on what Tyler and Vincent e-mailed them.

    “Something’s the matter?”

    A heavy sigh came from Mell before he replied grudgingly, “Mr. Dastard just called. He told me how Tyler and Vincent already turned their movie in a few movie festivals.”

    “Then I guess this trailer might blow them away.”

    That peeked Mell’s interest a little. His eyes went a little wide, couldn’t believe what he just heard.

    “What do you mean trailer?”

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Outside, Tyler and Vincent are at the backside of Mell and Pidge’s house.

    “Remember, Vincent, we are here to call it truce and give the Christmas present to Mell.”

    After looking inside the green paper bag he was holding Vincent replied, “Got that. Also, I hope Mell will like this.”

    “Me too! Seriously, it was a battlefield at that mall! Dang it, twenty Pokemon fighting for a Cii gamesystem! Oh, and that Moonlight Prince game. Nerds.”

    After Vincent said that, the two started laughing out loud.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    “Dang, what a great trailer!” said Pidge truthfully after he saw the trailer on the internet. “Great affects, great music, scenes that makes you want to go see that movie…” All of a sudden, the bird Pokemon’s face turned from joyful glee to bleak discovery. “Dang it, we are so dead!”

    “I know,” agreed Mell sadly. He put his head down and then shook it for a couple of seconds. “You know what, Pidge? Face it, we cannot compete with them! I think we should shelve Kingdom of Pokemon.”

    A gasp came from Pidge’s mouth. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. The bird Pokemon really didn’t want their project to end that way.

    “Are you serious? But we worked so hard on that movie! Heck, we managed to do it smoothly after Nani and Rex went to jail!”

    The truth struck the Swellow hard like a Thunder attack. It was true that the movie was in trouble when Nani and Rex came along. Luckily it was handled in a professional manner. For a second he thought maybe it was foolish of him into thinking of shelving Kingdom of Pokemon. Still, in his heart he knew Tyler and Vincent will make sure his movie will not be seen by anyone.

    “I know, but nothing is simple. Think it this way. We will be defeated in humiliation if we don’t…” Mell suddenly just paused there. He lifted his head up a little more until he spoke quickly again, “Pidge, I think I heard someone. It’s coming from outside!”

    “Really?” asked Pidge, very suspicious of this. His left eye became slanted a little.

    “Yes Pidge! Now, just be quiet and listen!”

    The two lend their ears to only hear chuckling noises. After listening for a few seconds, they turned around towards the open window and then they saw a shadow that resembled a Farfetch’d. Instantly, Pidge knew who that was (or so he thought).

    “DAWSON!” screamed Pidge frighteningly.

    Without second thoughts, the Pidgeotto flapped his wings and then made razor like winds targeted towards the shadow. The Gust attack eventually hit the shadow all over its body. The Pokemon later went down on the ground with a thud. A smile crawled onto Pidge’s face when he heard that.

    “Heck yeah! I got Dawson! Now the Christmas trees on the streets will be safe!”

    Mell smiled at Pidge’s accomplishment, happy that his friend caught the criminal. Again, totally wrong. The two birds’ grins unexpectedly vanished when they heard a too familiar voice.

    “Vincent, are you all right?”

    Fear was what first came to Mell’s mind.

    Oh no! So it’s Tyler and Vincent? Man, now the competition is really going to be fierce!

    After fear, thus came anger towards Pidge. Mell turned around to face Pidge and then gave him a deadly glare.

    “Um…oppises?” said Pidge nervously, not actually sure what to say. He knew he will be paid for this greatly.


    Well, that’s the third chapter folks. Now, the fourth chapter will probably won’t come until late March/early April as I will be busy with trying to catch up on reviews here and at another forums, plus will be quite busy studying as finals week is coming in a couple of weeks or so. Again, hope you all enjoy this chapter. Review please! ^^
     
  19. Sike Saner

    Sike Saner *aromatisse noise*

    Fwee, Nani evolved. And a Skarmory character appeared! ^^ Both of those things make me smile. I’m also interested in Vincent and Tyler’s decision for a truce with Pidge and Mell, and I have a theory about one of the reasons why they chose to do that, a theory that has to do with Mell. I look forward to possibly finding out if I’m right about it…

    Highlights and et cetera:

    Ohhhhh, yes he would. XP

    Ha ha, and there it is! I just love any situation that leads to smack or punch right in the face. XD

    I love Pidge’s line, and Mell’s stare-of-doom reaction. XD

    O_O

    Call him what?! Well, actually…I think I know. ;) But, I’ll withhold all guesses until the answer comes (in case I‘m wrong XD).

    I love that image! XD
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2007
  20. Bay

    Bay YEAHHHHHHH

    Hehe, me too!

    That should teach Pidge to keep quiet! ^^

    ...O.O ;;;

    Oh dear, you might be! :p Well, you have to wait for a while for that though! ^^;;;

    Oh my gosh, I love that image too! XD

    Now, you shall get...a Nidoqueen plushie! XD

    Okay everyone, like I said before, the fourth chapter won't come for a little bit as right now college is getting hetic. Plus, I won't be too active here for a while. I will only be here to check my PMs and the Roses and Chcolates results (for a few days or so ) XD Well, here's a short preview summary:

    Summary of Chapter Four

    Pidge, Mell, and Tyler are at the hopistal while Vincent is recovering. Tyler really got bad at the two producers, making them feeling guilty of the incident. While there, Pidge will find out why Mell has the grudge on those two other bird producers and an old friend will appear in this chapter.

    Until then everyone, enjoy winter while it lasts! XD
     

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