Skies of Arcadia: Dark Moon

[Kev Chi]

If anyone saw my last fanfic, this is like this. Based of the Gamecude game Skies of Arcadia, but this is like my version of the sqeual if they made one.

Intro​

The setting is all sky, along with the continents floating in the sky. Here are some example of the setting: http://www.nintendogamenet.com/Images/skies/7.jpg
http://www.take2.co.za/covers/ss/big/skiesarcadia_2.jpg
http://outerspace.terra.com.br/retro...of_arcadia.jpg

http://www.planetdreamcast.com/SOAworld/Maps/map1.htm This is how the world looks right now. The world as it is now is in the shadow of six moons: Red, Blue, Green, Yellow, Purple and Silver.

Valua, the continent in the north, is under the Yellow Moon. They have an abundent of eleterity and is into two parts: the Lower City (slums) and the Upper City (rich place). Valua is a miltristic country, ruled by Empress Teodora and Prince Enrique. Below them, are the Admirals of the Armada, the leaders of the battleships of Valua. Valua will stop at nothing to rule the world and is contanly at war with its rival, Nzar.

Nzar, the continent southeast of Valua, is covered under the Red Moon. The continent is desert, almost wasteland like. Water is scarse but the people of the land one adventage over the elements: trade. Nzar is known to be a big trade center. Nzar is contantly at war with it's rival, Valua.

The "Land of Ice", as it is known in legends, is a huge piece of land covered under the Purple Moon. It is in the far northern/southern part of the map. Not much is known about this land, only that it's covered in ice. One rumor that has been going around is a lost city under the continent, but it hasn't been confirmed, as no one has reached it.

Ixa'taka, the fabled land to the far West, is covered by the Green Moon. Not much is known about this land either, other then it is covered in lust greens, plants, flowers and fruits. The reason no one knowns much about this land: no one has reached it due to the South Ocean, an area said to have strong crosswinds, inpassable for an normal ship.

Yafutoma, another mysterious land to the Far East, is covered under the Blue Moon. Not much is known also about Yafutoma. Many believe it to be a fairy tale. The thing stoping people to see if it is real or not: The Dark Rift, a "evil" maelstorm that stops any ship from passing. Many people have trying going through the Dark Rift, almost none have returned.

Last, where Pirate Isle, the base of our main charaters, is under the Silver Moon. There isn't any continent here, only small islands. Pirate Isle is in the center of the map. Most things are normal here and people live a quiet normal life
~~~~~

Prologue​

Its been five years since Zelos and Ramierz were on the brige of destorying all of Arcadia. Vyse, Aika, Fina, along with other people from around the world, entered the Lost Silver Continent, Soulius, and went on to defeat both Ramierz and Zelos, who had fused together to make one ultamite being. Aboard the Delphinus, Vyse and the group took one last look at the Silver Crystal, giving remembance to Ramirez, for at first he wasn't at all evil until Lord Galcian started to toy around with his mind. He was also Fina's best friend before they both came to Arcadia, on a mission to collet the Moon Crystals. With that, Vyse took the Silver Crystal and threw it into the open, blue sky.

It is now the present day. The place is Pirate Isle. The Albatross just docked into the Underground of the isle after a recent raid. The Blue Rouges are still up to their old tricks, looting only armed ships, mainly Nasr Imperial Ships, along with Black Pirates. Back when Valua was still a powerhouse country, Valua attacked Nasr, along with killing the former Nasrsaltian and his family. After Nasr was destoryed, one man took control of the royal court. His name was Galka. After seeing Valua destory his hometown, he swore revenge on Valua.

After getting the airship navy of Nasr reorganized, Galka sent a small fleet of ships to Valua, as a warning that there would be no forgivness for the attack on Nasr. Valua, still rebuilding after being rained on by Moon Stones from the Yellow Moon soaring above them, was barely ready. King Enrique sent out a defense force of the Valua ships that were working, and was able to hold off the Nasr fleet, just barely. Valua now knew of the intenions of Nasr....

The Blue Rouges, "allied" with Valua, seeing how Vyse and King Enrique went on adventure together, went to help Valua rebuild, also to help defend the skys for the Nasr Fleet and the Black Pirates. While all this was going on, there was an even greater threat then the Nasr fleet...Something dark...coming from Deep Sky...

EDIT: Ok, so it wasn't much added. I hope I get some reviews on at least the prologue. x.x

 

[Yami Ryu]

Hm ... so far it looks interesting- but I doubt you'll get many reviewers unless SoA is a popular game and whatnot like Zelda apparently is. Though I'm interested in how chapter one will turn out.

 

[Kev Chi]

Yea, I doubt I will get many reviews. SoA is one of those underrated games that I think needs more spotlight. Maybe this will get it some of that spotlight.

Chapter 1​

Sailor's Island. The place of all trades, having a pub, weapons and ship shop, Sailor's Guild, the place were Discoveries and infomation are traded, and an inn. Many stories, items, ship parts and weapons are traded here. Sailor's Island was right in the middle of all the skies, the reason why it was a popular trading spot. A lone man stood at the back of the small island, his blue cholthes waving in the wind. The man took in a deep breath.

"Ahhh..." he let out with a smile. "Now this is why I love this place. The sky is clear and the air is clean. This would be the perfect day for an adventure!" This man's name...is Vyse. Vyse the Legend as he is commonly called, though he'd rather be just called Vyse. He wasn't much on formal titles. Vyse is now about 22 years old with brown hair and brown eyes, with a scar below his left eye and a clear eyepatch covering his right eye. He stands at about 5'11'' and around 155 lbs. He wears a blue vest that covers almost all of his torso and arms, with it open on both of his shoulders. He wears black pants and brown leather boots that almost go knee high with a buckle that goes across both of them. Also uses two cutlasses as weapons.

Just then, two women walked up behind Vyse. "Vyse, are you going to stand there all day? Come on! We got to out there and GET SOME TREASURE!" said a cheerful, young woman, throwing her fist in the air, smiling. Her name is Aika. Aika is about the same age as Vyse. She has red hair with two ponytails coming out behind her head. She wears a pair of pink goggles, sitting on top of her head. She wears a stone tiki head necklace along with a tan leather tank top and shirt, having brown leather "underwear" if you call it that under her shrit. She wears a brown leather glove on her left hand, the hand she uses her boomarang with. Aika also wears the type of boots as Vyse, only different thing about them is the heels are alittle higher. She stands at about 5'9'' and 120 lbs.

Walking next to Aika was another young woman. "Aika will never chance will she?" the lady said, giggling to herself. That lady is Fina. Fina was around the same height and weight as Aika. She had stright golden, blonde hair and emerald green eyes. She has a clear veil covering the back of her hair, the veil attached to a silver, round "cap." Her dress is almost all of a slivery, white along with some gold. She has silver pants under her dress, along with soild, same color boots.

Aika turned her head to Fina. "What? There's nothing wrong with wanting alittle treasure, is there?" Aika replied confendintly, then giving Fina a wink.

Fina giggled to herself again. "No, I guess not."

"Alright, I guess that's enough chatting for now. I'm sure our ship has been restocked by now. Now how bout we get back to our ship?" Vyse stated. Just as they were about to head back, Aika noticed some ships on the east side of Sailors Island, heading NW. This ships were of a red color, having a Middle Eastern look to them.

"That looks like Nasr ships, don't they?" asked Aika

"Yea, and they can't be up to any good. Nasr sure has a bad thing going with their leaders..." replied Vyse. Vyse had met the leader of Nasr before Galka. He was a fat, arrogent pig who when, Vyse told him about Valua's attack, laughed it off and became too cocky of his nation's defense. Because of this, it lead to his untimely death.

"Come on, let's hurry back to the ship." With that, the three of them skried back to the ship.
~~~~~~

I'm going to add some more things to the prologue, just to give more of a feel to what the envoirment is like. Going along with the Prologue, these first few chapters will be going more into detail about the prologue.

 

[Kev Chi]

Sorry I've took so long to post up the next chapter x.x I've been busy with my cousins from Maryland here. I've also noticed that Chapter 1 is a bit short. Maybe once I get it all down, I'll see what chapters can be combined and stuff.

Chapter 2​

Vyse, Aika, and Fina all huscled back to the dock. Seeing how Sailor's Island wasn't very big, only about 100 feet long and 50 feet wide, it only took them about a minute to back to where their ship was located. Opening the doors to the docks on the front side of the island, they look to see the ship they had been on so many times before. The Albatross.

A tall, strudy looking ship, the Albatross looks alot like the pirate ships that were used back in the ancient days, back when ships floated on water rather then fly in the air. Having about 6 cannon holes and each side of it, the Albatross was not a ship to take lighty. The ship was givin to Vyse by his father, Dyne, after he retired from the life of a pirate. Coming about to the right side of the ship, the three of them look up to see someone looking, and waiting, for them.

"It's about time you guys showed up. We load all the supplies and you guys get to dily-daly." The young man shook his head from side to side. "Tell me again why I'm loading the supplies?"

"Cause we know how much you love to move boxes around Kev! You do like to stay in shape don't ya?" Aika said with a playful smile.

Kev laughed to himself. "This isn't what I had in mind when I wanted to stay in shape." Kev was another childhood friend of Vyse and Aika. He was age 22, with emerald green eyes and semi-long hair, reaching to about the tops of his ears. Reaching about 6'0'' and 155 lbs, Kev is covered in a navy blue cloth, going from his neck down to about his feet. Covering his shoulders, chest, and the front part of his legs, is sliver scale armor. On the top of his head, he wears a sliver helm, and coming from the top of it is a small "poof" if you call it of horse hair colored blue. Also along the part of the helm right above the eyes, there are a pair of angel-like wings, one shooting out to the left and one shooting out to the right. He also hold a secert crush on Vicky, another member of the crew.

"Well then, I bet I know something that you will like." stated Vyse. "We just spotted some Nasr battleships headed toward Valua."

"That IS something I like... See? Now there's something that will keep me in shape Aika. Fighting Nasr soldiers, not lifting heavy supply boxes." Kev commented.

"Kev, your not going to leave the rest of us behind loading supply boxes while you go off fighting soldiers." Kev turned to his left to see a young woman coming across the deck toward him.

"Vicky, you know as much as I do that I don't like to lift supply boxes...What if I throw out my back or something?" remarked Kev

"Then you'll get to lay in bed while the rest of us go have fun." Vicky giggled to herself. Vicky is about age 21, being at about 5'8'' and around 120 lbs. She has blue eyes, along with long brown hair. The upper part of her body is covered by red cloth, with the cloth being a bit lighter, almost like a pink, and alittle more transparant around her stomach. Coming from the top of her legs down, she wears red leather, having a small flap of leather coming off on the left side of her left leg and another on the right side of her right leg. She also has light armor on her sholders, coming out a bit longer then the length of her sholder. She holds a secert crush on Kev.

"Gee...don't I feel loved? I don't even get a caretaker if I get injuried." Kev said while the others laughed at Vicky's teasing.

"Don't worry Kev. I'm sure we can get someone to take you." Fina said, giggling.

"Anyways Kev, how about you let us back onto the ship so we can go after those Nasr battleships and see what they are up to?" asked Vyse.

"Or see what kinds of goodies they have!" added Aika.

"Fine fine." Kev walked alittle ways down the deck and grabbed the loading board that was attached to the ship and the end part of it being part of the deck rail. Kev pushed it up a bit and then flipped it onto the dock where Vyse, Aika and Fina were standing. The three of them loaded onto the ship, Kev flipping back onto the ship and it becoming part of the deck again once they got on.

"Alrighty, gather all the crew members. We're going to have a small meeting at the bridge before we go." asked Vyse

"Aye aye!" the other four replied, and went inside the ship to gather the members.

~~~~~

I kinda wish I could have added more to the charaters profiles, but I thought it might have turned out too long and look kinda ugly. Anyone have any comments on what I should do?

 

[Kev Chi]

Chapter 3​

While the rest of group search throughout the ship, Vyse went to the bridge to look over things before the meeting came. After all, he was the captian, and how the ship looked was a refeltion of how the captian was. After a few minutes, the rest of the crew showed up in the bridge.

"So I heard you got some news Captian Vyse?" said a prepy young lady. Her name was Liz. Usually quite happy all the time, she tends to be a bit shy at first, but will quickly warm up once she begins to talk. Another red haired girl of the crew, her clothes are alot like Aika. She wears a simple white dress and carries a short sword as a weapon.

"Yes, what's the big news Captian?" said a timid lady. This girls name was Jessica. A very shy girl, she was the only one on the ship that wore glasses. She is usually seen with her nose in a book or sometimes even writing stories or poems. She wears a simple blue and white striped shirt, the stripes going horizonatly.

"Well, ask you've preobably heard, Nasr ships have been spoted heading toward Valua. Now, we know that we have to go help Valua, but we all now the main reason we've going after the ships is..." Vyse began to say before getting interpeted.

"TREASURE!" yelled Aika joyfully.

Vyse shook his head with a smile. "Yes, treasure. We all know how good the Nasr royalty and army have it..."

"Yea. I remember how you described your visit with the first Nasrsaltian. Covered in gold chains and having alot gems as rings..." Kev remarked, standing there with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

"Well then, what are we waiting for?" Vicky said, jumping with joy. "Let's go get some treasure!"

So, with that, the crew took their postions aboard the ship. Vyse, of course, is captian, taking the wheel of the ship. Both Aika and Fina are vice captians, but they also help with other odd jobs around the ship. Vicky is the navagator for the ship, while Kev is the strategiest for the ship. Liz is the lookout, and lastly, Jessica also does the odd jobs around the ship.

"Well, from Sailors Island, we head north if we want to reach Valua. I'm sure we'll see the battleships traveling along the way." stated Vicky.

"Alright! Let's get this show on the road then!" smirked Vyse. He then back the ship out of the dock, and headed toward Valua and the Nasr battleships.

 

[Lily]

ehmehgawd. This is...overdue, isn't it? Sorry. Blame the computer. ;____;

Mm..k, first off: mechanics. Similar to your last story, you keep making tense errors, incorrect wordings, and some spelling/grammar issues. If you're going to use a specific tense, use it, unless stated otherwise, which is not the case with this story. You could've fixed them up easily with a bit of revising, such as in the third chap...

Captian -> Captain
prepy -> preppy
alot -> a lot
spoted -> spotted
interperted -> interrupted

..and so forth, and so forth.

Next issue: your intro..it feeds me too much information. You shouldn't bombard readers with *all* the necessities; write it out, instead of listing them, or else it's gonna sound like some RPG manual. I came here to read a fanfic, not...a guideline to spoonfeed me step by step. It's really nice you decided to include the background information, but try to even some things out.

Plot..plot..not much to say. I was extremely confused when I started reading this. Bear in mind I have no knowledge of Skies of Arcadia (better get the game in order to understand in the future? XD) so I tried to grasp a portion of it. So far, I'm liking Aika. She seems like the most vivacious. Kev, to me, was introduced too briefly..merely describing your characers in blocks of paragraphs isn't the most interesting thing in the world. Vyse looks okay..but you mustn't introduce them so hastily next time. Don't rush! Make the chapters longer! It kinda ruined the mood for me, I'm sorry to say. x_x

Overall...you coulda done lots bettah. I still see traces of old mistakes. But still, like anything else, there is potential. Keep trying, and you'll get to the point I won't be able to point out any more mistakes. I apologize for the sucky review; I'm blind to Arcadia. ;_;