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Soda Pop [one-shot]

Soda Pop​


“Two soda pops, please.”

She was still surprised by how he talked—there was a certain authoritative quality in his voice that made it almost impossible to say no to. It made her slightly afraid, but at the same time it made her admire him all the more.

“Coming up, you two!” the restaurant’s owner said as he pushed buttons on the cash register. “You two on a date?”

“Oh, well, uhh...” the woman stuttered out. Her companion, on the other hand, simply nodded with a smile.

“Ah, that’s sweet! Well, you two enjoy your stay here, all right?” the owner said as he handed the pair two bottles. Both of them thanked him and sat on a table at the corner of the Seashore House—the farthest from the entrance they could find, as requested by the woman. Thankfully, many of the restaurant’s customers were beachgoers who were taking their breaks, all still in their bikinis and bathing suits, so they swarmed near the entrance to keep themselves as close to the ocean as possible.

“It technically is a date, you know,” the man said as they sat down.

“Yeah, I guess,” the woman replied. “I never really thought of them as dates.”

“What did you think they were, then?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged as she took a sip from the bottle and made a quick glance at the restaurant’s entrance. “At first they seemed like casual conversations, but maybe we’ve moved past the casual part long ago.”

“There was nothing casual about the last one,” he said with a smirk. The woman couldn’t help but chuckle at the remark. It had been more than a month since their last date—or not-so-casual conversation—but she could still replay every moment of it in her mind. She could remember the breeze blowing from Lilycove Bay, the soda pops they drank back then, the uncertainty of their decision being drowned by a kiss...

“I suppose it wasn’t casual,” she said as she took another sip from her bottle. The man couldn’t help but stare at her. He loved it when she nonchalantly twirled the straw to mix her drink after taking a sip. It was such a simple action, but he found it very appealing to watch.

“You’re staring again,” she said, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“You make it hard not to,” he replied almost instantly. She had fallen for his words far too many times, but they never failed to make her blush.

“How long have you been saving that one?”

“Just thought of it, I swear,” he said as he drank from his own soda pop, finishing almost half of the entire bottle with one chug.

“Well, someone’s in a hurry—” she began, but she stopped when she heard the restaurant door open. She lowered her body and glanced at the entrance, and she let out a huge sigh of relief when she saw that it was just the old man who was in charge of keeping the beach clean with his Zigzagoon.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” the man said.

“Oh, uhh, nothing,” she stuttered.

“You’re not good at hiding your emotions, you know,” he said with a worried smile.

“Nothing’s wrong, really,” she said as she reached out for her bottle and took another sip. “It was just a surprise—”

She heard the door open again, and she slouched even lower while taking quick glances at the entrance. A heavier sigh of relief followed after the restaurant’s newest customer—a young girl in a plain white dress—closed the door.

He raised an eyebrow and looked around. There was nothing out of the ordinary in the shack—none of the customers paid any attention to them, and there was no one who seemed suspicious. It was only after he saw her play with a black handkerchief she had withdrawn from her pocket that he understood what was going on.

“You’re worried they’ll find us, aren’t you?” he whispered.

She swiftly pocketed her handkerchief when she heard him, although she knew there wasn’t any fooling him at that point. She wanted to speak, but all she could give in reply was a small nod.

“Could I borrow the handkerchief?” he said as he extended his hand. She was hesitant, but his demanding tone was mixed with a sense of caring, making it even more impossible for her to say no.

“When I saw you wearing this when we were in Mt. Chimney, I still thought you looked beautiful,” he said as he stretched the handkerchief in front of her, revealing a white insignia etched prominently across the piece of cloth.

“Shh, be careful!” she said as she grabbed the handkerchief from him and swiftly pocketed it. “What if someone saw you holding that, huh? They’ll hand us over to the police, or worse, to the team.”

“You’re cute when you get flustered, you know?” he said with a smirk.

“Then you’ll find me drop-dead gorgeous if you keep talking about it,” she replied.

“I’m sorry,” he said as he took another chug from his bottle, leaving just a sliver of its contents. “But what I wanted to get at is how that handkerchief doesn’t define you anymore. You’ve left the team, and you won’t be able to move forward if you keep looking back.”

Their conversation stopped when they heard the door open again, prompting a look from both of them. In came an older-looking girl who donned a white dress similar to the girl they had seen come in earlier. Her keen stares around the restaurant made it obvious that she was looking for someone. The woman took many worried glances at the girl, keeping herself hidden in case she was one of her fellow grunts in a civilian outfit. She only found herself relaxing when the girl went to the table of who they surmised was her partner and dragged her out of the Seashore House, earning a chuckle from the man.

“How can you be so calm about all of this?” she started, sitting herself upright. “You left your team too, you know. You’re in as big a risk as being caught as I am. And from what you’ve shared, Maxie’s an even tougher leader than Archie.”

“He is, from what you’ve told me about Archie,” he replied. “And hey, I’m worried too, you know. But worrying isn’t gonna do me any good, so I stop thinking about it.”

“But isn’t it impossible to stop thinking about it? I can’t shake off the feeling that somehow, one of my old teammates would suddenly find us and rat me out to Shelly. And then I’ll have to go back and be demoted to the lowest of the grunts.”

“That’s not gonna happen,” he said matter-of-factly.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I know you have it in you to go against them.”

“Again, how can you be so sure?”

“Well, you’re here with me right now,” he said as he finished the rest of his soda pop. “And I’m supposed to be, what, a no-good Team Magma grunt you should be avoiding at all costs? Maybe even one you should be turning in to your admins for hostage? And here you are, not only being with me and letting me wander freely, but even continuing to date me after finding out I’m part of the rival team. I dunno about you, but that takes a lot of guts to pull off.”

She couldn’t help but smile at that remark. He always knew what to say to turn her bad mood around, as many of their previous dates had proven. It was what made his assertiveness less intimidating and more attractive.

“There’s that smile,” he teased. “It was torture waiting for it to come back.”

“I swear, it’s like you’ve memorized a book of cheesy lines,” she said as she finished her own bottle. “No, a trilogy of cheesiness.”

“If that’s what I have to do to keep you from being worried, then so be it,” he said with a smirk. “And, hey, just so you know, I’ll do everything I can to make this work. Right now we’re both just a pair of runaways, but I swear we’ll get through this. We’ll find a great place to stay where none of our teammates would find us, and we’ll find our way back to living normal lives.”

He then reached below the table and pulled out two more bottles of soda pop. He handed one to her and said, “And I know all of that will be worth it because I’ll be able to spend all that time with you.”

“How’d you get these two bottles?” she asked as she took hers.

“I have my ways,” he replied as he turned around and winked at the owner in the counter, who winked back in reply.

“Very clever,” she said as she took her first sip from her second bottle, prompting another stare from the man. “So, shall we go, then?”

“Where to?”

“I don’t know,” she answered with a smile. “But that’s part of the fun, right?”



IN WHICH I COMPLETELY FAIL AT WRITING A ROMANTIC SCENE AHAHAHAHA

So unlike my previous one-shots, I wanted to make something that was lighter and that ended on a high note for everyone involved. And with Valentine's Day just around the corner, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to try writing about a couple who’s still in love. Common as that may be, I’ve never really tried writing about one outside of some conversations for Trainers of Hoenn, so writing with this subject is very new to me-hence my frustration and worry about how the one-shot ended up. :p

I got the idea for this one-shot after reading Poetry’s gift to me for Yuletide, “Dessert Course”. After reading it, I was so amazed by how effective the story was in conveying character that I wanted to try my hand in writing something similar to it, especially in terms of how it’s set in a restaurant and how it revolves around one conversation. So huge thank you to Poetry for inspiring me to write this!

Also unlike my previous one-shots, these author’s notes are at the end because I didn’t want to spoil the reveal of who these characters are. For those who have read Humans of Hoenn and/or follow its Tumblr counterpart, the characters here are these two lovebirds, who have definitely become two of my favorites. After writing their respective second conversations for the Tumblr blog, I was motivated to write what happened next, so “Soda Pop” takes place a short while after they’ve escaped from their respective teams.

I put these author notes in the end because I didn’t want to make the connection obvious from the start, and I did want to find out if the story worked or not without this as context. I’m hoping it can still stand alone as its own one-shot and have the connection with those conversations as a bonus.

In the end, I’m glad I was able to put this together despite all my gripes, and it was refreshing trying out something both familiar and unfamiliar to me. Thank you for reading “Soda Pop”! :)
 
As I was reading, the realization slowly dawned on me that these were the Magma and Aqua members from Humans of Hoenn, and I was like, hey, I know these people. It was cool, and it made me want even more expanded HoH entries. There are definitely enough interesting stories to make some good full-length ones.

As for this one, I like it. It's simple and sweet and has a genuinely interesting premise in the rival teams setup. I do wonder if maybe my familiarity with the original conversations helped push this a little further for me, though. I think a big part of the couple's appeal (and cuteness, if that's what you're going for) is the stuff in Lilycove Department Store, and the romance might be weakened a little bit without that context. It feels a little incomplete without it. I don't know if explaining those conversations within the one-shot is necessarily the answer (although I guess that could work), since I'm much more in favor of adding new content to the story of these runaways. If we knew what they'd been doing since they left, how they went about actually leaving (was it a big escape or did they just walk out the door and ignore all further communication?), and if they have a sign that people are indeed after them, I feel like this would be a more complete second chapter type of thing to the story instead of a kind of epilogue. In general I'm a fan of the two rebels on the run thing, and the more you play it up the more satisfied I'd be personally, heh.

That being said, the focus on the romance might eliminate that problem, since in my experience the relationship is the main appeal of the genre. I'm sure people more familiar with romance writing might be able to give you more concrete advice, but as far as that aspect goes, I think you were pretty successful. In particular I thought her awareness of his cheesiness helped prevent some of the cringe-iness that's such a danger for romance. Her resistance to his recklessness was fun, and although I'm no authority on romance, I was satisfied with the overall happy ending. If anything I wanted more interaction, if only so she would have a chance to show a little personality than her fear of being caught.

Despite that, I think this was strong. It built on two of the most distinct conversations from HoH, and it made me smile. :D
 
[Imaginative]:[Clockwork];17923034 said:
As I was reading, the realization slowly dawned on me that these were the Magma and Aqua members from Humans of Hoenn, and I was like, hey, I know these people. It was cool, and it made me want even more expanded HoH entries. There are definitely enough interesting stories to make some good full-length ones.

Heh, glad you picked it up quickly! I'm definitely interested in writing more one-shots that extend HoH conversations. There's quite a few I have in mind, though writing them is a whole other story...

[Imaginative]:[Clockwork];17923034 said:
As for this one, I like it. It's simple and sweet and has a genuinely interesting premise in the rival teams setup. I do wonder if maybe my familiarity with the original conversations helped push this a little further for me, though. I think a big part of the couple's appeal (and cuteness, if that's what you're going for) is the stuff in Lilycove Department Store, and the romance might be weakened a little bit without that context. It feels a little incomplete without it. I don't know if explaining those conversations within the one-shot is necessarily the answer (although I guess that could work), since I'm much more in favor of adding new content to the story of these runaways. If we knew what they'd been doing since they left, how they went about actually leaving (was it a big escape or did they just walk out the door and ignore all further communication?), and if they have a sign that people are indeed after them, I feel like this would be a more complete second chapter type of thing to the story instead of a kind of epilogue. In general I'm a fan of the two rebels on the run thing, and the more you play it up the more satisfied I'd be personally, heh.

Very much noted on all your points. Yeah, I do want to see what the effect will be for someone who doesn't recognize the conversations right away. What you say about the one-shot being incomplete is what I think would be its biggest problem, and I'm very much open to ideas on how to integrate those conversations into the text while not being too direct about it. I try to do so with those simple descriptions when the woman is remembering it, but I understand if it wasn't enough. As for your suggestions on expanding the characters themselves, they're very much noted, although I do have to figure out how to work that into their conversation without sounding forced. Thanks for bringing it up though!

[Imaginative]:[Clockwork];17923034 said:
That being said, the focus on the romance might eliminate that problem, since in my experience the relationship is the main appeal of the genre. I'm sure people more familiar with romance writing might be able to give you more concrete advice, but as far as that aspect goes, I think you were pretty successful. In particular I thought her awareness of his cheesiness helped prevent some of the cringe-iness that's such a danger for romance. Her resistance to his recklessness was fun, and although I'm no authority on romance, I was satisfied with the overall happy ending. If anything I wanted more interaction, if only so she would have a chance to show a little personality than her fear of being caught.

Despite that, I think this was strong. It built on two of the most distinct conversations from HoH, and it made me smile. :D


Heh, thanks! While I did want to focus on their interactions more than their backgrounds, I do think I can strike a balance with both. I'll just need to find a way to do so without shifting the focus away from the conversation. And noted on the personality of the woman - I admit, I think I had too much fun making her react to the guy's cheesiness that I never really moved on from that, ahaha.

In any case, I'm glad it made you smile! First time I'd be happy to get that comment for one of my one-shots in a long while, haha. Thanks for the review, [Imaginative]:[Clockwork]! :)
 

Negrek

Lost but Seeking
This was a nice one-shot! I always enjoy stories where you're supposed to figure out who the characters are over the course of the piece, and it got even more interesting when I realized they were grunts from opposing teams! However, I also completely missed that these two were from Humans of Hoenn until I went back and looked, so I guess you can take me as someone reading this without that context. XD;

Some line notes:

Both of them thanked him and sat on a table at the corner of the Seashore House—the farthest from the entrance they could find, as requested by the woman.
On a table or at a table?

“I don’t know,” she shrugged as she took a sip from the bottle and made a quick glance at the restaurant’s entrance.
"Shrugged" isn't a speech tag, so I'd make this "'I don't know.' She shrugged..."

He loved it when she nonchalantly twirled the straw to mix her drink after taking a sip. It was such a simple action, but he found it very appealing to watch.
I love this little detail.

She was hesitant, but his demanding tone was mixed with a sense of caring, making it even more impossible for her to say no.
This sentence struck me as a bit unwieldy. There are a lot of modifiers here, and it doesn't make much sense to me to say that someone's tone of voice was mixed with a "sense" of anything--maybe a hint or a tinge? A sense is usually something that you get from something else, not a quality present in something external. In general I think this sentence could be more streamlined.

“I’m sorry,” he said as he took another chug from his bottle, leaving just a sliver of its contents.
"As he took a chug..." means the action was simultaneous with his speech, but I hope he wasn't talking while literally in the middle of chugging soda.

In came an older-looking girl who donned a white dress similar to the girl they had seen come in earlier.
"Don" means "to put on," so this sentence is talking about a girl in the process of putting on a dress, rather than one who's already wearing a dress. Just "wearing" is most likely what you want here.

She only found herself relaxing when the girl went to the table of who they surmised was her partner and dragged her out of the Seashore House, earning a chuckle from the man.
This sentence was difficult for me to parse, perhaps because there are three different female characters involved (I think?). It might help to replace the second "her" with an epithet like "the other girl," assuming you meant it was the girl coming in dragging her partner out of the place.

You’re in as big a risk as being caught as I am.
*of being caught

It's also a little odd to say "in as big a risk;" phrasing it like "You're in as much danger of being caught as I am" sounds a lot more natural to me.

The forbidden romance between Aqua/Magma grunts is a super cute idea... It kidn of makes me wonder a bit about their backgrounds, how did they end up on different sides? Were they just joining up for cash/whatever and didn't care much about their respective team's ideology, or do they have occasional "LAND!!" "SEA!!" fights? I also spent most of the one-shot assuming the male member of the pair was the Aqua grunt because he seemed generally more swaggering and pirate-y. It was interesting that the stereotypes of the sorts of people who are on the two teams were flipped for this one-shot.

I do think it would be nice to get a bit more character for the two grunts in this one-shot. Like [Imaginative]:[Clockwork] said, the woman in particular spent most of the story being really tense and afraid, which makes sense given the situation but ended up not letting you show as much of her general personality or how her relationship to the Magma guy worked. I earlier picked out the line where the Magma grunt mentioned how he loves the way the Aqua grunt twirls her straw before she drinks her soda. It's really little things like that that are most telling about characters, I think--very specific, if small, things that ground the characters and make their relationship feel more organic and true to life. I think including more little details like that would add some sparkle to the story.

At times I thought the prose was a little off, in part because you tend to use a lot of modifiers, which can trip me up at times. This was particularly noticeable in the dialogue, which is unfortunate because it's especially important in a character study. Do you read your work out loud after you write it? For me that's one of the best ways to find and smooth out areas where dialogue especially doesn't sound natural.

All in all, this was a neat idea, and it made for a cute one-shot. I don't know if you intend to do more expansions on characters you came up with for Humans of Hoenn, but I enjoyed the longer-form story and the ability to go deeper with some characters we only got to see for a few paragraphs in their original appearance.
 
This was a nice one-shot! I always enjoy stories where you're supposed to figure out who the characters are over the course of the piece, and it got even more interesting when I realized they were grunts from opposing teams! However, I also completely missed that these two were from Humans of Hoenn until I went back and looked, so I guess you can take me as someone reading this without that context. XD;

Thank you! I'm glad that the whole mystery element that choice made worked well for you. And haha, thank you for a second perspective, then!

This sentence was difficult for me to parse, perhaps because there are three different female characters involved (I think?). It might help to replace the second "her" with an epithet like "the other girl," assuming you meant it was the girl coming in dragging her partner out of the place.

Huge thank you for the grammatical comments - I'll go edit the more obvious ones in after I reply to this! Just wanna confirm that yes, this scene is talking about three different female characters, and the third female (assuming the first is the Aqua grunt) is dragging the second out of the Seashore House. Will make it clearer though!


The forbidden romance between Aqua/Magma grunts is a super cute idea... It kidn of makes me wonder a bit about their backgrounds, how did they end up on different sides? Were they just joining up for cash/whatever and didn't care much about their respective team's ideology, or do they have occasional "LAND!!" "SEA!!" fights? I also spent most of the one-shot assuming the male member of the pair was the Aqua grunt because he seemed generally more swaggering and pirate-y. It was interesting that the stereotypes of the sorts of people who are on the two teams were flipped for this one-shot.

I'd like to think that the world views of their leaders never fully rubbed off on them, and perhaps they were just swayed by their respective leader's passion a la The Teller's Rally Interpretation 2. :p What little of the world view did rub off on them would be second to how much they care for each other, though, because Valentines!

And to be honest, I didn't even think about how they're acting as the stereotypes of the opposite team. In hindsight, it would be more fitting for the guy to be the Aqua Grunt, but I hope that it doesn't take away too much from the characters. He does make that comment of how he finds Archie less scary than Maxie (which she also acknowledges) so maybe I can work on exploring that aspect should I revisit them?

I do think it would be nice to get a bit more character for the two grunts in this one-shot. Like [Imaginative]:[Clockwork] said, the woman in particular spent most of the story being really tense and afraid, which makes sense given the situation but ended up not letting you show as much of her general personality or how her relationship to the Magma guy worked. I earlier picked out the line where the Magma grunt mentioned how he loves the way the Aqua grunt twirls her straw before she drinks her soda. It's really little things like that that are most telling about characters, I think--very specific, if small, things that ground the characters and make their relationship feel more organic and true to life. I think including more little details like that would add some sparkle to the story.

Yeah, I do have to work on that. I was hoping that her little jabs at the Magma grunt's cheesiness would let her break out of that fearful shell a bit more, but I understand how that isn't enough. I could definitely see how that straw-twirling bit helped in making the Magma grunt more holistic. Thanks for pointing this out!

At times I thought the prose was a little off, in part because you tend to use a lot of modifiers, which can trip me up at times. This was particularly noticeable in the dialogue, which is unfortunate because it's especially important in a character study. Do you read your work out loud after you write it? For me that's one of the best ways to find and smooth out areas where dialogue especially doesn't sound natural.

Ah, very much noted on this. I've been given that comment several times before, but unfortunately I don't heed it as often as I should. XD I'll make sure to work on their dialogue should I do a more thorough revision of this in the future! I definitely want it to sound as authentic as possible given that pretty much the entire story hinges on their conversation.

All in all, this was a neat idea, and it made for a cute one-shot. I don't know if you intend to do more expansions on characters you came up with for Humans of Hoenn, but I enjoyed the longer-form story and the ability to go deeper with some characters we only got to see for a few paragraphs in their original appearance.

I definitely want to pursue more one-shots that feature characters from Humans of Hoenn, and I'm sure that your comments here would help me down the line! It'll be nice to expand their stories further, yeah. Thanks so much for the helpful review, Negrek! :D
 

LucarioIsMegaEvolving

A single misplaced step
I loved that they were the grunts from Humans of Hoenn, it just helped me understand them even more. I also noticed that you mentioned the old man with the Zigzagoon, who was also in HoH. I like the details that refer to other pieces of work and connect. It was nice to know that they both quit their teams so that they could have their forbidden romance, but the girl just seemed a bit TOO worried to me. Anyway, this was a nice one-shot, and I enjoyed reading it.
 
I loved that they were the grunts from Humans of Hoenn, it just helped me understand them even more. I also noticed that you mentioned the old man with the Zigzagoon, who was also in HoH. I like the details that refer to other pieces of work and connect. It was nice to know that they both quit their teams so that they could have their forbidden romance, but the girl just seemed a bit TOO worried to me. Anyway, this was a nice one-shot, and I enjoyed reading it.

Thank you! I'm glad that you got that easter egg with the old man with the Zigzagoon, haha. I couldn't resist putting him especially since the setting was so close to where he is in the games! And very much noted on the worriedness of the Aqua grunt - I've been trying to think of what I could do to balance it out, seeing as that could solve the problem of her personality being too muted (as per the other comments). So thanks for pointing that out!

Also, just so I won't clog the board with my replies, I'll reply to your comments on the other one-shots here. Not much else to say other than a huge thank you for giving them a look - I definitely appreciate it! I'm glad that "Exit Interview" worked well for you - that Magma Grunt quote was definitely a nice way of summing up my project, and I didn't even realize it! XD As for your comment on Nate meeting N beforehand in "24 Months", that's honestly something I overlooked! He would've definitely told Alice about N if she asked, so I could connect that with her intentions of leaving in the succeeding month.

Again, thank you so much for all the reviews, wizpig1231! :D
 

Cutlerine

Gone. Not coming back.
Having nominated this fic for the awards last year, I figured I should probably actually come back and review it at some point, so here we are! As I said in my nomination, it's a super cute little interaction: everything is predictable, but both of them are aware of the script they're following, so to speak, which does a lot to humanise them, because of course most real people (… most) can recognise the old romantic clichés when they find themselves falling into them – which is to say, although you're covering well-trodden ground, I as a reader don't feel so much like I'm watching a set of stereotypes play out.

Your little detail about the fear of being dragged back to the team is particularly interesting, actually: it's a tiny throwaway line, but it gives the two teams a cultish, obsessive edge that I don't often see in fics, but which actually fits their nature as eco-terrorists powered by messianic zeal very nicely. It also does a great job of showing the way Aqua lingers in the ex-grunt's mind – not just because she's afraid of being forced back into the team, but because she's afraid of having to start over at the lowest rank, the which fear is clearly a holdover from her Aqua days.

At the same time as you create these intense, inhuman versions of the teams, you create two people who seem very human indeed, and it's a really effective depiction of the way causes collect people, you know? These are just regular people, the kind who get caught up in big things without necessarily having the conviction to go with them, and then when something happens (in this case, romance) realise all at once that they're up to their neck in something dangerous. Honestly, it's just great. Probably it's obvious by now, but I really, really like this story.
 
Having nominated this fic for the awards last year, I figured I should probably actually come back and review it at some point, so here we are! As I said in my nomination, it's a super cute little interaction: everything is predictable, but both of them are aware of the script they're following, so to speak, which does a lot to humanise them, because of course most real people (… most) can recognise the old romantic clichés when they find themselves falling into them – which is to say, although you're covering well-trodden ground, I as a reader don't feel so much like I'm watching a set of stereotypes play out.

That's great to hear! I was a bit worried that it would be a boring read considering that it's just a typical romance story (and add on to that it's coming from a writer who isn't used to writing romance at all so it's a lose-lose situation), but I'm glad that it didn't have that effect on you!


Your little detail about the fear of being dragged back to the team is particularly interesting, actually: it's a tiny throwaway line, but it gives the two teams a cultish, obsessive edge that I don't often see in fics, but which actually fits their nature as eco-terrorists powered by messianic zeal very nicely. It also does a great job of showing the way Aqua lingers in the ex-grunt's mind – not just because she's afraid of being forced back into the team, but because she's afraid of having to start over at the lowest rank, the which fear is clearly a holdover from her Aqua days.

Thank you! I guess it's a spillover from all the conversations I wrote of Magma and Aqua grunts in Trainers of Hoenn, but I always saw the two teams as this "you're-here-forever" type of deals until after Maxie and Archie have their changes of heart. How you see that aspect is really interesting!


At the same time as you create these intense, inhuman versions of the teams, you create two people who seem very human indeed, and it's a really effective depiction of the way causes collect people, you know? These are just regular people, the kind who get caught up in big things without necessarily having the conviction to go with them, and then when something happens (in this case, romance) realise all at once that they're up to their neck in something dangerous. Honestly, it's just great. Probably it's obvious by now, but I really, really like this story.

I'm really glad you said that - writing their conversations for the project and writing this one-shot, it was always about humanizing these one-off characters from the games. This romantic angle might be outside of the games' canon, but it's an interesting thing to explore. And making it this Romeo and Juliet type of situation just makes it that much funner to write about.

And I can't express enough gratitude for all the kind words! Thank you so much for the review, Cutlerine! :D
 
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