Seems like you're taking crit. That's good. I'll help you then. Those stuck up, arrogant brats that don't take crit tire me- There are so many of them.
First of all, don't go 3D. It's not a good look on a 2D forum. You should try a 1-2 pixel border that's 2D. Now, look at my banner... Try using patterns over images. They work effectively in calming bright colours down.
In banners, you want contrast, sometimes you don't. You should spend time planning out what you want for your banner... What light effects, what colors.
You see, I used Sugimori images. Now, normally they're dark and plain, not that bouncy looking because of his colouring. That can be fixed. You simply play around with the Brightness and Contrast, and try to get something acceptable.
You want things to match. Take a look at IronSceptileX'x banner. Everything matches. The red/purple is in contrast with the white, but it's all blended nicely. It looks perfect and all. Now, for the most important part... You need better brushes.
I reccomend... Celestial-Star.Net, Aethereality.Net and Animeshare.Org. They have wonderful brushes. They have good tutorials on Photoshop as well.
Also, stop abusing filters. Filters make me sad. They normally can't make professional effects you can make in the style of graphics that is... "Fashionable".
Don't make your fonts all icky. Just leave them the way they are, amd mak them smooth. Give them a glow, a stroke... But don't make them pop-out of the banner. Also, stop making the text blend with the backgroud. I can't read it. Also, try... Hmmm... For one of those "emo" banners, put in small text that is still readable. The text should be a poem. Then change the opacity to 50%. Gives a sad, yet refined effect.
If you want to learn more about the best designs and such, try going to Lust and IronSceptileX's banner shops. You can sprout great ideas from those places. If you want, you can go to mine. People seem to like my designs, but I'm not too sure about myself