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South Park: New Students PG13 (language)

Ash_Fan_#1

<We are unbeatable~*
“Ok class, today we have 5 new students joining us.” Mrs. Garrison, a teacher who was a trans woman (was a dude), wearing a lime green top and dark green pants, she had gray hair going around the back of her head, and had gold earrings.

“Oh great, just what we need in South Park, more ***s.” A large boy in a red jacket and brown pants, ha also wore a hat light blue with a yellow pom-pom and trimmings. His name was Eric Cartman but everyone called him Cartman.

“Shut the f*** up fat ***,” A different boy, Kyle Broflovski, who wore a lime green hunting cap, bright orange jacket and blue-green pants said, “you haven’t even met them yet.”

“Yeah seriously dude, I’m getting sick of you being such an a**h***.” A boy in a brown jacket with a red collar, blue pants, and a blue hat with a red trimming and pom-pom. His name was Stanley Marsh, everyone calls him Stan, told Cartman.

“That is enough children.” Mrs. Garrison told the three.

“Kenny and Butters agree with me, right guys.” Cartman said.

“Well gee Eric, I, I think you’re being a little mean too.” A boy with blond hair who was wearing a light blue jacket and blue-green pants answered, this was Butters.

“F*** you.” A boy in a bright orange parka, and pants said, it was hard to understand because the parka covered up his mouth, his name was Kenny McCormick.

“I said that’s enough children.” Mrs. Garrison repeated. “Here are our new students.” Five girls walked in. The first had light brown hair in short pigtails she wore a red hat with a black trimming and pom-pom, a red jacket with a black collar, and blue pants. “This is Jaylin, our first new student. Jaylin, please take a seat over there by Stan.” Mrs. Garrison told the students. The next was a girl with light red hair in a ponytail, she had on a light blue jacket and medium blue pants. “This is Josie. Josie please go sit next to Kyle there.” Mrs. Garrison directed her. Now a girl with medium brown hair came in, she had a pink jacket and hot-pink pants. “This is Melody. Go sit next to Cartman please.” Mrs. Garrison directed her. A blond girl in a black jacket and blue pants walked in. “This is Amy, she’ll sit over there by Kenny.” Mrs. Garrison said. Last came in a girl with light blond hair in long pigtails, she wore a purple dress. “This is Suzie, Suzie go sit over there next to Butters.” Mrs. Garrison said.

The day went on as usual, the new girls talked to some of the other kids a little. At lunch they sat together. The bell rang for them to go home. Jaylin was at her house, she was sitting in her cluttered up little room, even after just moving her room was already a mess.

“Oh s***, I forgot what the homework was.” Jailin said. A girl with red hair walked in, her jacket was green and the front was open, the under shirt was blue and she had blue pants, her red hair was long and down, she was Jaylin’s older sister.

“Hey, make any friends today?” Jaylin’s sister asked.

“Hey Gina, no, how bout’ you?” Jaylin replied.

“I made 2, Kevin McCormick, and Shelly Marsh.” Gina responded.

“Hey, do they have any siblings?” Jaylin asked.

“Yeah, each of them have a brother.” Gina said.

“Well, in my class there’s a Kenny McCormick and Stan Marsh.” Jaylin said in an excited voice.

“Cool.” Gina said.

“Do you have there phone #’s, I can call and ask what the home work is!” Jaylin asked.

“I have Shelly’s.” Gina replied.

“Can I call?” Jaylin asked.

“Sure.” Gina said and handed over the piece of paper that had the phone number on it.

Jaylin dialed the #.

“Hello.” A woman answered.

“Hi, is this Mrs. Marsh?” Jaylin asked.

“Yes, and who is this?”

“I’m Jaylin Corwell, I’m in your son Stan’s class.”

“Oh, you must be one of the new girls he was talking about.”

“Yep, is Stan there, I wanted to ask what the home work is.”

“Of course, Stan, phone.”

“Hello?” Stan started.

“Hi, I’m Jaylin from your class.”

“Oh, hi.”

“I just wanted to know what the homework was.”

“Page 42 in our math book, wait, how’d you get my #?”

“My sister and your sister met and she gave me the #.”

“Oh, ok.”

“So, what do you do for fun around here?”

“Well during winter, usually we go sledding.”

“I love sledding.”

“Can you hold on, I have a beep.”

“Me too.”

“Hey Josie, I’m on the other line with Stan from school, I’ll put you on too.” Jaylin said, she put on Josie.

“Stan?” Jaylin asked.

“Jaylin, this is Kyle, my best friend.” Stan said.

“This is Josie my best friend.” Jaylin said.

“Let’s just meet at the big hill with our sleds.” Josie suggested.

“That’s a good idea.” Kyle complimented.

“Ok, get all of your best friends together and we’ll get ours.” Jaylin said.

“K, bye.” Everyone said at the same time.
____________________________________
Well that’s it for chapter 1.
 
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DarkPersian479

Well-Known Member
I know you're not gonna like this but...

The second half is almost entirely script, with grammar errors and choppy sentences galore.

brown pants, he also wore a light blue hat with

I’ll put you on too,” Jaylin said. She put on Josie.

Description is limited to outfit description. Pretend we have never seen the show before and the readers have no idea of these character's personalities, other than they do a lot of incessant, unnecessary swearing (which is the point of the show, but you could elaborate on characters QUITE a bit). Also describing the settings would be a good idea.

Don't use "#". Is it really that much work to write out "number"?

Sorry, but I just don't see where you're going with this. It really needs a lot more time and effort put in.
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
Darkpersian, why did you bother giving advice? This person has several threads closed already, and repeated warnings and such from a mod :/ usualy a smart idea to click on someone see if they wrote before. I usually end up doing it cause most people like this don't stick in my mind cause their fics are well, so bad :/

With your past works, I have a very high feeling that this is written up in the reply box. And then as Dark Persian pointed out, you described a bit at the begining, but it quickly devolved into script. Now this is alright if it's two shady characters or something you don't want 'brought into' a story yet. But the characters on south park not being described? No emotion? No outrageous arm movements? No what was it, Kenny getting ate by rats or exploding or something?

And it does not help you the characters feel a tad or more, OOC :/

I advise you, that you really go read Advice For Aspiring Authors and the Rules. Or you'll end up with another closed thread.
 

Mario Man

M'kay.
I love south park so i should love this story in the future! good job!
 

Ash_Fan_#1

<We are unbeatable~*
The two girls and boys from the phone showed up, there were now the other six, three boys, three girls. They were at the top of giant hill with their sleds.

“Well, look here, we have the new ***s of South Park.” Cartman said.

“And you’re a perfect angel, b****.” Melody replied angrily.

“The fat ones Eric, right.” Jaylin whispered to Stan.

“Yeah, but we just call him Cartman. Oh, and don’t be offended, he’s an a**h*** like that to everyone.” Stan whispered back.

“K, but if Melody starts to act like a b**** to you don’t be offended, she’s a self centered b**** too.” Jaylin said still whispering.

“I won’t” Stan whispered back.

“What are you guys talking about?” Kyle asked.

“Nothing.” Stan answered.

“Whoa, Stan get the hell out of the way!” Jaylin exclaimed and knocked Stan over.

“What the hell was that for?” Stan asked angrily.

“Well, it was either I push you out of the way or fat a** over there beamed you in the head with an ice ball.” Jaylin answered.

“Oh. Cartman, I’m gonna kick you’re a** until it falls off!” Stan screamed and started to chase the fat boy.

“AHHHHHH, help.” Cartman screamed and started to run. Stan caught up with him in no time, due to Cartman’s weight making him a slow runner.

“Take that fat boy.” Stan said while punching Cartman.

“AY, I AM NOT FAT YOU F***ING ***!” Cartman said while being beaten up.

“Dude, Stan’s insane, he’s never this violent to anyone, even Cartman.” Kyle said to Josie from the side lines.

“Shouldn’t we stop that so of a b**** before he kills Cartman?” Melody asked.

“Uh, Stan’s not the son of a b****, usually Cartman is but right now it would look the other way around.” Kyle told Melody.

“Stan, calm down dude.” Kyle said while making an attempt to pull him off of Cartman, soon Jaylin and Josie joined in to stop Stan. They finally pulled Stan off of Cartman.

“Y-you stay away from me Stan, j-just stay away you b******.” Cartman said in fear, with blood coming down his chin from his lip.

“Did, did I do that?” Stan asked in fear that he actually did.

“DUDE!, WHAT THE F*** HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU?!!” Kyle screamed at Stan.

“I, I don’t know.” Stan said in a lower voice.

“I can’t believe I’d do that.” Stan said, still shocked at himself.

“Hey, guys, what happened to Butters, Suzie, Kenny, and Amy?” Josie interrupted.

“They must have-,” Kyle paused. “Stan, where are you going?”

“I’m going home.” Stan answered without even turning around.

“Let’s go with him.” Jaylin said.

“Yeah, we probably should.” Kyle said and they followed Stan.

At Stan’s house…

“Stan, honey, your going to have to go to one of your little friends houses tonight, your father and I are going out and your sister’s going to hang out with Kenny’s brother Kevin and her new friend Gina.” A woman with short brown hair, a brown shirt, and blue pants, Stan’s mother, Sharon Marsh, told Stan.

“Oh, fine.” Stan said angrily. “Kyle want to go to your house?”

“No way dude, my mom won’t even let me in until five o’ clock, it’s her cleaning day.” Kyle answered.

“We can hang at my place, it’s my moms night off so she won’t care.” Jaylin offered. Both boys shrugged.

“Sure.” The boys said together.

“Let’s go. Josie, will you say something?” Jaylin said.

“Something. Fine, there happy.” Josie said.

“What’s up with you?” Kyle asked.

“She’s just being goofy.” Jaylin told him as they approached Jaylin’s house. They walked into a kitchen, it was a little cluttered up since they were still unpacking, there was an average stove, a microwave, a fridge, a table, a few cabinets, and a drawer for silverware. “Well, here it is.” They walked in. “Mom, can me and some friends hang out here?”

“Sure, I’m going to meet your teacher so can I trust you to be good?” A woman with auburn hair, wearing a Boston Red Sox sweater and jeans said, her name was Aurora Corwell.

“Yes mom, were 9, we’re mature…” Jaylin paused, “ish.”

“Well, before I go, why don’t you introduce me to your new friends.” Aurora said.

“K. Mom, this is Kyle and Stan, Kyle, Stan this is my mom, Aurora Corwell.” Jaylin said.

“Hello boys.” Aurora said. “I have to go, Gina’s in your room getting ready to go hang out with Ryan and her new friends.”

“K, bye.” All the kids said.

“Who’s Ryan?” Stan asked.

“My sisters boyfriend, he moved here too.” Jaylin said.

“Oh, ok.” Stan said as Gina walked out.

“Hey Gina.” Jaylin said.

“Hey, who are your new friends, is one of them your boyfriend?” Gina said.

“Haha.” Jaylin said sarcastically and rolled her eyes. “Kyle, Stan, this is my big sister Gina, Gina, thee are my new friends, Kyle and Stan.”

“Hi.” The boys said at the same time.

“Hi, well I gotta go.” Gina said and walked out the door and looked back in. “Feed the dog and water the rabbit.”

“K.” Jaylin replied and got some hot dogs and a pan of water, she put the hotdogs in the water and turned on the burner. A little dog came in, It’s fur was a light brown-blondish color.

“Is that your dog?” Stan asked.

“Yep, his name’s Jim.” Jaylin answered. “Josie, can you get the rabbit some water please?”

“Sure.” She said.

“Can I go too, I want to see the rabbit.” Stan said.

“Sure.” Jaylin said.

Stan and Josie went up stairs to the room that the rabbit was in. The room had a bed for rabbits in it, a lamp, a bowl of food with some carrots around it, and another bowl for water.

“So, Stan, what’s your friend Kyle like?” Josie asked.

“Well, he’s a nice kid. He gets good grades and all, occasionally he can be a bit of a wimp to his mom, oh and he hates Cartman.” Stan said.

“I see, well, is he single?” Josie asked.

“Why?” Stan said.

“Well, keep it between us, but, I like him.” Josie whispered to Stan. “Can I trust you to keep it a secret?”

“Yeah, you can trust me and he is single.” Stan said in a whisper as well. “Is that the rabbit?” He said while looking at a small black creature.

“Yeah, her name’s Mell.” Josie answered. “She’s 8.”

“Wow, that’s pretty old for a rabbit.” Stan said.

“I know.” Josie replied and smiled.

Back in the kitchen…

“Kyle, is Stan usually that violent, like he was today?” Jaylin asked.

“No, usually he’s the normal one, he’s nicer than he was today, in fact that’s why he’s my best friend.” Kyle answered.

“I hope so, I mean if he was always that violent it probably would be bad.” Jaylin said.

“You know, he’s single too.” Kyle said.

“Ok.” Jaylin said a little confused.

“Well, he broke up with Wendy a while ago.” Kyle went on.

“Wait, why are you telling me this?” Jaylin asked.

“I think he likes you, today while we were out there it looked like he was going to puke, especially when you pushed him, he always pukes when he likes someone.” Kyle said.

“Or, I might have just hit his stomach when I pushed him.” Jaylin said.

“Why are you trying to deny that he likes you, I mean he’s a nice kid.” Kyle asked.

“Well, I’ve had stuff like this happen to me before and usually turned out to be a cruel prank.” Jalin answered.

“I promise you, I’m not trying to prank you.” Kyle said.
 

DarkPersian479

Well-Known Member
Darkpersian, why did you bother giving advice? This person has several threads closed already, and repeated warnings and such from a mod :/ usualy a smart idea to click on someone see if they wrote before.

Ash Fan: Sadly, you have proved Yami right, again. It is a waste for me to give advice to you since it is clearly not registering. This time it's even worse since the ENTIRE chapter is scripty. Fics are not entirely dialogue and script, you know. To be brief, and for your convenience, two resources you SHOULD have looked at long ago:

RULES

ADVICE

Read. Them. Now.

If/When you improve, I might be inclined to offer more specific advice.
 
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Ash_Fan_#1

<We are unbeatable~*
Yami Ryu is never right, he's evil, I read the rules and advice and alot of it is stupid, no offense but I think people should not have to do things the other people say, I mean we all have our own opinions on things but come on, what we choose to do with our stories is up to us, not the readers.

So fight that statement.
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
Yami Ryu is never right, he's evil, I read the rules and advice and alot of it is stupid, no offense but I think people should not have to do things the other people say, I mean we all have our own opinions on things but come on, what we choose to do with our stories is up to us, not the readers.

So fight that statement.

Ooooooh. A Rebel. Would you call your parent stupid if he/she told you not to eat the yellow snow? Would you call a teacher stupid if he/she graded you poorly because you claimed 'the dog ate my homework'. Would you call the law stupid if a cop stopped you for going over the speed limit? Or would you tell the cop that it's ok you were going 70+ in a 'child play zone'.

Because the rules are basically the law. You are not above the rules, I am not above them and a Mod isn't above them. Get off your high horse and put some effort into your chapters, because all you're doing is a lack luster, lame and pitiful attempt at writing, that is no better than what your last threads were closed for, your 'friend's' thread was closed for, or etc and so forth.

Stop making excuses and start improving :/
 

Psychic

Really and truly
Ash_Fan_#1 said:
Yami Ryu is never right, he's evil
If Yami Ryu is evil, then you're the smartest man alive.

Which is impossible since you're so immature that you're probably still learning the simplest elementary rules of grammar.


And how smart are you if you can't see that Yams is a girl? Or that your writing is, put bluntly, BAD.



Just because somebody tells you the truth, doesn't make them bad.



Ash_Fan_#1 said:
I read the rules and advice and alot of it is stupid, no offense but I think people should not have to do things the other people say,
If you don't care what other people say, why are you posting your writing on the internet where ANYONE can see it, read it and comment on it? Why are you HERE? Shouldn't you be more worried about staying on your high-horse instead?


Seriously. The rules are there for a reason. If you don't want to follow them, then gtfo. I'm not joking. If you're so much better than everyone else here, why do you keep coming back?
You think you don't need to obey the rules while everybody else does? Well guess what- that's why people in the real world get sent to prison. Are you going to break into people's houses, molest people and drink while drunk because you think the rules are stupid?

If so, I want you to be locked away NOW so you can't hurt the good, honest people out there.
Nobody is going to like you if you keep up with this attitude, Mr. 'Rebel'.



Ash_Fan_#1 said:
I mean we all have our own opinions on things but come on, what we choose to do with our stories is up to us, not the readers.
Fine. Your opinion is that rules suck and you're better than everyone else.
My opinion is that you suck, that your writing sucks and you should be sent to jail because you're a danger to society.

You don't need to go and put in a character just because a reader wants to see that character. But if your writing is bad and someone is trying to help you get better, why would you snap at them and shove it back in their face when you can listen? GASP, maybe then you would improve and people would start liking you!

Respect.
People take time out of their own lives to help you. They could be doing much more fun, interesting, productive things, but instead they're helping you to becaome a better writer. There is nothing bad or evil about that.
The least you can do to thank them is to listen to their advice.



Ash_Fan_#1 said:
So fight that statement
Done and done.

Fight with a Mod. Get a Ban. Let's talk about THAT.




Your fic was pitiful. Really, it was. Little if any effort put into it, crappy grammar and punctuation, untasteful and practically a script. Ignoring rules, like, oh, grammar rules and using '#' because you're too laze to write the word 'number' is just sad and shows how little you care about the quality of this story. The humor is crappy, though I don't know if that's just South Park humor or you just trying to be funny. I'm pretty sure it's the latter, even though at some points you try to mimic the show's humor.


You know, the links DarkPersian479 showed you ARE NOT GOING TO KILL YOU.

-_- Get a life. Get an attitude. Learn how to be an actual rebel.
Or do us all a favor and leave.


~Psychic
 

DarkPersian479

Well-Known Member
I read the rules and advice and alot of it is stupid, no offense but I think people should not have to do things the other people say...
So fight that statement.
I assume the last part was directed at me, so...

I interpret this as you trying to persuade me to be your lackey and join your little rule-breaking party. Well, I am sorry to say, but you're asking the WRONG GUY. I follow the rules. My fanfic is receiving praise. Now, I am not nearly as good as the best writers here (Saber and Kiyohime to name two) but I am not doing too badly. Now why would I suddenly take my (decent) story, ruin it by turning it into trite rule-breaking script, and face scathing reviews, when it is much better than that as it stands now? How do I benefit from breaking the rules and sending my fic down the "quality" gutter?

I do not want to be labeled as a n00b, nor do I want to do n00bish things on the board. The rules are not that hard to follow. They maintain the quality of the fanfiction on the board, so long as they're not broken. They make writers write fics that are interesting and engaging. This is not interesting or engaging. You have made no attempt to improve through all of your previous attempts.

Yami and Psychic made an excellent comparison between the rules here and laws in the outside world. The only difference is, with the board, you have a choice. If you don't like the rules, DON'T POST. Go to another Pokemon forum. But DO NOT try to persuade others to violate the rules. That is like telling your friends to speed on the highway and smash mailboxes.

Stop using your "rebel without a cause" excuse to hide behind a poorly written fanfic that you obviously do not want to devote the proper time and effort to. You claim to have already read the rules and advice threads. Well now it's time to...

ABIDE. BY. THEM.
 
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Chaotic Pink

Let the zephyr blow.
Yami Ryu is never right, he's evil, I read the rules and advice and alot of it is stupid, no offense but I think people should not have to do things the other people say, I mean we all have our own opinions on things but come on, what we choose to do with our stories is up to us, not the readers.
1. Yami is a girl.
2. Yami is evil in a good way.
3. Readers know what makes a good story, they know whether or not they think it works or not.
4. The rules and advice are there to help, and that they do. I suggest reading them with an open mind, as all of the paragraph quoted is one sentence :/.

Shall I continue? I can think of at least 11 more reasons...

You really should learn to argue with an actual valid point, and learn to have an open minded discussion. You need to improve drasticly if you don't want people on your case. Just had to say this as its very funny :)

Pinkie.
 

Ash_Fan_#1

<We are unbeatable~*
Well people, I must say, if you pay attention, you'll figure out that I never let someone else win, at least with something like an arguement like this.
 

RaZoR LeAf

Night Terror
It's been a while since i saw South Park, but two things spring to mind. For starters, PG-13 is wrong. It should be R atleast. Secondly, South Park is funny. Again, this isn't.
 

Psychic

Really and truly
Well people, I must say, if you pay attention, you'll figure out that I never let someone else win, at least with something like an arguement like this.
lol. Really, just lol.

You never let enyone else 'win'? Who is supposed to win here? It's the internet, and other than a few online games or competitions, you're not going to 'win' anything.


Right now, you're losing, lol. We are having a 'debate', and you are LOSING. You are LOSING this argument. There is no way for you to win if you keep going on like this.

If you want to win something, try to win us over. You'll win if you put effort into writing. You'll win if you can get people to say it's good. You'll win if you stop being a pain in the neck. You'll win if you're a good, honest person.


But you can't win if you break the rules. And right now, you're breaking the rules. So you're not winning ANYTHING, not even this debate.

So basically, you're just a little stuck-up tard who will cheat to 'win'. Even if it means everyone looking down on you, everyone thinking you're an idiot, everyone thinking you have the mentality of a six-year-old, you don't care as long as you win your own stupid little game.




Your fic is bad. face it, it's bad. Deleting it won't mean you never posted it. Just because I delete this post, doesn't mean I didn't say these things.

Even if this is deleted, a Mod can still see it. And in the future, you will only be closer to your ban.


You wanna win? Shape up. Listen to what you're told. It won't kill you.

It can only benefit you. You're an idiot for turning it down.
And that's the truth.

~Psychic
 

Draconis

Currently active.
This thread is laughable. You still insist on writing bad script fics, with little to no description of characters, and then you imply that your fic is great and everbody who disagrees is wrong. Rules are meant to be followed, and the fic rules do make sense. The advice thread is there so you can actually follow the advice, and write a halfway decent fic.

Basically, what you are saying, is that you are above rules. If so, that must mean you break the law whenever possible, and disrespect your parents. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? By your logic, you must be in juvenile hall, or grounded 24/7.

Read the rules, read the fic rules, read the advice for aspiring authors, and then put some effort into typing a semi-decent fic, in a proper word program.
 

Ash_Fan_#1

<We are unbeatable~*
screw this, other fan fic sites get the fact that everything the people write is theirs and don't over do the rules.
 

Psychic

Really and truly
Ash_Fan_#1 said:
screw this, other fan fic sites get the fact that everything the people write is theirs and don't over do the rules.
:D Okay. Go away now, bye-bye.
Nobody really cares if you leave or not. Because really, not only are you proving the fact that you're a close-minded idiot, but also that you really have no comprehension of well, anything.


If this story is yours, why are you posting it? If it's so special and precious, why put it in a place where thousands can read it and comment on it, and Hell, even steal it if they wanted?
Sersiously, we're not about to bow down to any person who can just put a bunch of words together. You've come for the wrong place for praise.



So what are you waiting for? Leave, already! Instead of complaining and talking like a big 'man', just go away.
If you want to be praised, go to some other random site where all the members are eight-year-old n00bs who don't know squat about writing.


Jeez, I can't wait until you graduate elementary school and learn about the 'real world'. :D

~Psychic
 

The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
Well, what do you want us to say? Well done, kudos, for doing bugger all?

Un-bloody-believable. You say you'll go onto your precious site but you stay here and post crap after crap after MEGA-crap. You know what, go. Go to the sites where they give you mindless praise. Go where anyhting gets five-stars as long as it's paragraphed. JUST GO.

Oh, and that PM about the HSM fic; you call it a nice review, I call it faux flattery.
 

DarkPersian479

Well-Known Member
Well people, I must say, if you pay attention, you'll figure out that I never let someone else win, at least with something like an arguement like this.
What argument? (note correct spelling of the word) Usually when someone is posing an argument, they have evidence to back it up. What evidence do you have that your rushed, poorly written, error-ridden fic should be praised by the masses at this forum, especially when MUCH better fics are out there, ones that are worthy of reading and praise. As for our evidence that your rule-breaking fics are not welcome here, you only need to look at your long line of closed fics, and notice that this is NO BETTER. So, you do not have an argument here. No, this is mere whining for attention since you're not getting the mindless praise that you are on whatever other board it is you go to. NEWS FLASH! You won't get mindless praise from REAL reviewers.

I have said this before: It doesn't matter if you posted this in another forum. We have minimum quality standards that must be adhered to. They're not that hard:

Good grammar/spelling
Description of setting/characters/emotions
Minimum length/content requirements
No script unless PROPERLY done

screw this, other fan fic sites get the fact that everything the people write is theirs and don't over do the rules.
Again, I stress:
The rules are not that hard to follow. They maintain the quality of the fanfiction on the board, so long as they're not broken. They make writers write fics that are interesting and engaging.
Seriously, is it that hard to replace "she said" with "she nervously uttered while quivering and shaking, not knowing the outcome of this competition" ? Geez, it took me all of 35 seconds to do that.

However:
If you don't like the rules, DON'T POST. Go to another Pokemon forum.
OMG, might you actually be taking my advice for a change!? :eek: 'Tis too bad you don't take advice to follow the rules and make your stories good, or else you might have been (GASP!) liked here.

Seriously, your choices are "Follow the rules" or "leave." Glad to see you made one of those choices.

EDIT: And by quitting because of our "oh, so tough" rules, you are in fact admitting defeat.

Have a nice day.
 
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Draco Malfoy

-REaction
Someone should seriously close this. Why you may ask?

Well firstly:

A) It's causing a wave of unneccessarily flaming, bashing and arguements due to one ignorant and rude writer who refuses to listen to advice (the very same person who crated this little thread)

B) It's horribly written and the Rating PG-13 is a bit low; it should be Rated R, this is South Park kudos. As a South Park fan, I do think this fic should be Rated R

C) The writer is obviously determined not to listen to any given advice, good or bad. The writer is constantly refusing to obey the rules that were made AGES ago before his time. Seriously dude, get a life; either actually be polite and listen to other people's advice and obey the rules or get out. If you want to stay here, you have to expect to obey and respect the rules of the SPP.



The Rules are here to stay. Don't like them? Well tough luck, that's life.

And another thing, DON'T try and make Yami Ryu angry and/or get pissed off. She's everywhere. She's a great writer with good advice but remember, she's not afraid to tear you apart.

That's my two cents on the matter.

MWB Out
 
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