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Spanking children

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Kaasuti

MegaKaasutizard
I was having a good old natter with an old lady at the corner shop today and the subject of badly behaved children/teenagers came up (because of a story line of yet another stabbing on the front page of a newspaper), We both agreed that the government are stupid for not allowing parents to spank "THEIR OWN" children, wether it be on the bottom or on the back of the hand.Me and my older brother were brought up this way and if either me or him were badly behaved we got a smack on the bottom or a clip round the ear, and we turned out to be nice, honest people and obviously the spanking diddn't cause any pain and or mental scars.Kids now days know that they can get away with doing almost anything due to the fact they are not allowed to be punished in this way, shouting does nothing.

The main problem is the fact the government finds spanking to be so wrong, yet there are so many badly behaved children/teenagers these days and they wonder why.
I have heard that some teachers are telling their young students that their parents are not allowed to spank them in anyway and if they do they can tell on their parents basically, yet children this young do not know what they are doing when they tell someone about being spanked, it's brainwashing to the extreme.

I'm am intrigued in general about why people think spanking is wrong, please post your opinions, i'll look forward to them.
 

Hunter_RuLe

< Guess who's back?
I'm really not a supporter of spanking children myself but aslong as it is reasonable I believe parents should have their freedom to raise their childern in their own way. Aslong as children aren't physically or mentaly hurt it's not the governements task to react.

I do believe parents should keep spanking as their last option, because otherwise it could easily become a bad habit and even lose the impact of being a harsh punishment. Imo using spanking is actually a sign of losing your natural authority as a parent. If I ever become a father I would always try to make clear my kid did something good or wrong by telling him about what he did and ask him why he did it and let try to let him learn about what he did wrong so he won't easily do that again in the future.
 

Armel

Banned
Spanking sometimes does refrain the child not repeat the same mistake. But at what cost? Being afraid that if he does something wrong he'd get spanked? A parent hitting a child, whether it may be hard or not, often makes the child slowly start to despise the parent who did it.

I personally don't see the point of spanking. If I have children, hitting will never come across my mind. I don't want my children being afraid of me. Talking with the child and telling him/her why it's wrong in a serious manner will often do the trick, especially on younger children.
 

Josiah

is your favorite
Spanking sometimes does refrain the child not repeat the same mistake. But at what cost? Being afraid that if he does something wrong he'd get spanked? That's the point. It's supposed to make them think twice. A parent hitting a child, whether it may be hard or not, often makes the child slowly start to despise the parent who did it.
I'd like to see proof of that. Me and my brothers respect our parents. I do not hate them in any way.

I personally don't see the point of spanking. If I have children, hitting will never come across my mind. I don't want my children being afraid of me. Talking with the child and telling him/her why it's wrong in a serious manner will often do the trick, especially on younger children.
That part depends on the child. A reasonable kid might listen, but that never works on my younger brother. It all depends on their personality, and not every kid can be reached in the same way.
 

ironknight42

Well-Known Member
"That part depends on the child. A reasonable kid might listen, but that never works on my younger brother. It all depends on their personality, and not every kid can be reached in the same way."
He makes an excellent point, I was spanked and I have ended out being O.K. it must be kept reasonable and infreaquent to maintain it as a severe punishment but sometimes talking does not get through to young children. I have a question when do you think spanking should be started as a punishment and stop being used.
 

Requiem's Eclipse

Hopelessly Hopeful
Hmmmm, my brother and were both spanked by our fathers and we both developed anxiety disorders :\ I see some kind of connection. Well, now I'm somewhat afraid of getting my fahter angry in fear of my butt.

However, my mother simlpy yelled and/or grounded us and that was more effective because when you are spanked it is simply pain that lasts for a few seconds. With a punishment you get things taken away. So, i wouldn't want my television taken away so I do good. So, in conclusion, I find it more effective to simply punish the child rather then spanking them until their *** is numb.
 
With a punishment you get things taken away. So, i wouldn't want my television taken away so I do good. So, in conclusion, I find it more effective to simply punish the child rather then spanking them until their *** is numb.

I agree with this.

I guess it really depends on the children. I don't agree with spanking as a punishment. It would more likely just make the child more afraid of you rather than the child becoming "good".

My older brother spanks his children, and I just don't like seeing it. He doesn't literally BEAT them but it still bothers me to witness. I honestly think words can work better than raising your hand to a child.
 

encas

Come to me...
Ah, spanking. I think that it's an acceptable form of discipline as long as 1) it's not constantly thrown around, and 2) it doesn't go too far. If it occurs too often, then it won't work anymore obviously. If it goes too far, then you'll have a child abuse case on your hands. Neither of those are usually a problem with most people, so it's just a matter of whether spanking gets into the wrong hands.
 
Spanking is not totally ineffective, it works, but should only be used as a final enforcement. Ex. You tell your child not to do something. He keeps going. You give him the option of being spanked and sent to his room for a time-out, or stopping. If he persists, you go with the former. But usually the latter will end up being his choice. He wants to be where others are around, not in his room, alone. In his mind being shut off from contact is bad, so he'll usually stop there.
 

Kaasuti

MegaKaasutizard
I think that spanking is wrong and that it should be against the law under abuse. I've never been spanked and think that it's wrong.

Telling children off and grounding them does not work for the vast majority of the child population, in what way is spanking wrong??.
People are always going on about normal things being wrong, i think it's an overeaction yet again by the idiots of the world (no offence), Children have been spanked for generations and back then children were a lot better behaved, even animals punish there babies.

Spanking is a good way to teach a child to behave "IF" they have done something really naughty, i was spanked and it never bothered me, same for my friends and family.

Default
Spanking is not totally ineffective, it works, but should only be used as a final enforcement. Ex. You tell your child not to do something. He keeps going. You give him the option of being spanked and sent to his room for a time-out, or stopping. If he persists, you go with the former. But usually the latter will end up being his choice. He wants to be where others are around, not in his room, alone. In his mind being shut off from contact is bad, so he'll usually stop there.

Quoted for truth, spanking in moderation.
 
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Raichu4u

I'm not josh'n
When i was young spankings never taught me anything nor hurt. and punishments just made me do it wile being smart alecey
 

Orihime

OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!
If/when Sammy and I have a kid(s) we'll spank them after giving them 1-2 warnings. Sending kids to their room doesn't work, I've actually polled my school, and they agree (79%) that spanking is more effective. But if it's used as an answer to everything, then your kid may just murder somebody
XD
 

Cain Nightroad

Daydreaming
I think that spanking is wrong and that it should be against the law under abuse. I've never been spanked and think that it's wrong.

I wouldn't count it under abuse unless you are being spanked with a belt. That's abuse, not a simple spanking. I was spanked when I was around 5, and it hurt like hell, but it wasn't abuse. It was simple punishment.

Telling children off and grounding them does not work for the vast majority of the child population,

Here's where you get a little wrong, Kaasuti. It does work, but the problem is bad parenting. Kids/teens these days will whine until the parent gives in and gives them the object that was taken from them.

For example, if a teen's phone is taken from them, then they'll bitch about it for hours until the parent finally gives in and hands them the phone. Spankings can't solve this -- who's going to actually spank a teenager? However, better parenting will.
 

Ethan

Banned
For the first half of my life, I grew up on a small farm on Ohio. I know what physical punishment is and from my perspective, if you believe that smacking your child is abuse your a fool. I've been whipped with a belt until I've bled, amongst other things. So I really don't want to hear this nonsense that smacking your child is abuse. What people sometimes fail to understand is that children don't have the maturity of adolescents or adults. At times, they simply can't be reasoned with. You can't threaten to take away their favourite toy, or withhold desert for a night. You can't ground a small child. What a child can always respond too is pain. Pain in essence, isn't a bad thing. If we didn't have pain, we most likely couldn't survive. Pain tell us what we should and should not do. For a parent to take advantage of that, in the hopes of keeping their kid from doing something dangerous, is certianly not immoral.
 
For the first half of my life, I grew up on a small farm on Ohio. I know what physical punishment is and from my perspective, if you believe that smacking your child is abuse your a fool. I've been whipped with a belt until I've bled, amongst other things. So I really don't want to hear this nonsense that smacking your child is abuse. What people sometimes fail to understand is that children don't have the maturity of adolescents or adults. At times, they simply can't be reasoned with. You can't threaten to take away their favourite toy, or withhold desert for a night. You can't ground a small child. What a child can always respond too is pain. Pain in essence, isn't a bad thing. If we didn't have pain, we most likely couldn't survive. Pain tell us what we should and should not do. For a parent to take advantage of that, in the hopes of keeping their kid from doing something dangerous, is certianly not immoral.

Whipping your child with a belt until they bleed is disgusting. I may not have gone through your experience, but that most certainly is not right and I don't understand how you could possibly be in support of that. And how dare you call people who are against physical violence fools. That was uncalled for.

When an animal owner hits their dog to get the dog to act a certain way, that is considered animal cruelty. When a husband hits his wife when she did something wrong in his eyes, that is considered domestic violence. Why should it be any different for children?

And don’t even think about saying that parents who smack their kids are always doing it to protect their kids from dangerous situations. Not listening to your parents when they tell you to stop playing video games is not life threatening, and yet children get spanked for it. Speaking to your parents in a disrespectful way is not life threatening, and yet children get spanked for it. The world would fall into chaos if we all just went around smacking people whenever they did something we didn’t like, and that is exactly what spanking a child is like it most cases.

And yes, pain is there to tell us what we should and should not do. When you experience pain, your body is telling you that something went wrong and you have to avoid being harmed any further. When a child feels pain when they get smacked by their parent, their body is saying that they have to get out of that situation and avoid the weapon that is the parent's hand. The body is telling them that they shouldn't be getting spanked because their body is being damaged in some way.

Spanking is not a good way to teach your child how to act because it becomes more of a threat than a simple consequence. If you do this, then I hit you is the idea it promotes. It doesn't teach any lessons, and the only reason it can be effective is because of fear, and that is not something that I support.

There are plenty of kids, such as myself, who have grown up without being smacked around by their parents and turned out just fine, which just shows that violence is an unnecessary parenting technique.
 
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Ethan

Banned
Whipping your child with a belt until they bleed is disgusting. I may not have gone through your experience, but that most certainly is not right and I don't understand how you could possibly be in support of that. And how dare you call people who are against physical violence fools. That was uncalled for.

First off you start off your argument by constructing a straw man. I never said I was supportive of giving your child the belt until they bleed. I was using it as an example. The point I wanted to illustrate is that there is a drawing line. Not all physical violence is abuse. Spanking your child and leaving a pink mark that will go away in an hour is a far cry from leaving scars and blue welts that last for weeks. Also, I was speaking from my perspective. I'll view some opinions as wise and I view some as foolish. The stance that spanking your child is abuse I see as foolish.

When an animal owner hits their dog to get the dog to act a certain way, that is considered animal cruelty. When a husband hits his wife when she did something wrong in his eyes, that is considered domestic violence. Why should it be any different for children?

First off, hitting your dog isn't considered animal cruelty. If I smack my dog on the nose because he used the bathroom on my carpet, no is going to arrest me for that. If I kick him in the gut, and he limps for days on end, then that's when I'll get slammed with animal cruelty. In a marriage the husband has no direct authority over the wife. So it's misplaced thinking if he believes he can lay a hand over her. The relationship between a husband and a wife is not the same as between a parent and a child. A husband and wife are obligated to work out their problems with eachother due to the fact that it's a partnership. On top of that, you don't use physical punishment to discipline older people anyway. The first reason for that is that they are mature enough to deal with other punishments. This is why you see teenagers being grounded from going to the mall rather then being spanked. It's something you outgrow.

And yes, pain is there to tell us what we should and should not do. When you experience pain, your body is telling you that something went wrong and you have to try to find a way to get out of the situation to avoid being harmed any further. When a child feels pain when they get smacked by their parent, their body is saying that they have to get out of that situation and avoid the weapon that is the parent's hand. The body is telling you that you shouldn't be getting spanked because it is damaging your body.

Exactly. So they make the asscosiation with what they did wrong to the spanking. Seems logical to me.

Spanking is not a good way to teach your child how to act because it becomes more of a threat than a simple consequence. "If you do this, then I hit you" is the idea it promotes. It doesn't teach any lessons, and the only reason it can be effective is because of fear, and that is not something I can support.

I'll go back to what I said before. It's very obvious that not all small children respond to logic and reasoning. You can try to talk sense into them all you want, but when they stubbornly cross their arms and say "No!" and keep doing what you don't want them to do, you are only left with one option. To physically keep them from doing what you don't want them doing.

There are plenty of kids, such as myself, who have grown up without being smacked around by their parents and turned out just fine, which just shows that violence is an unecessary parenting technique.

So spanking your children is a bad technique just because a few people turned out okay, that didn't get spanked? Parents should be obligated to use whichever form of discipline that suits their own child. Obviously not all children are the same and should be responded to according to their own personalities, actions, and needs. I could very well flip this around on you and say that some children that have never been spanked turned out to be spoiled brats. So under the logic your currently using, that makes not spanking your children an unecessary parenting technique.
 

DGCatAniSiri

Charmingly Cynical
These days, parents are pretty much more afraid of their children than their children are of them. You know why? BECAUSE parents are less and less disciplinary with them.

Let me paint the basic picture of what many parents are doing these days to discipline their child. Imagine that in between each sentence is a one minute or more pause. 'Johnny, stop doing that. Johnny, stop doing that. Johnny, I told you to stop doing that. Johnny, mommy will be very disappointed in you if you don't stop doing that. Johnny, think of mommy. Johnny, do you want mommy to be disappointed in you? Johnny, please stop doing that. Johnny...'

Show of hands (...okay, so we're on the Internet and that expression doesn't really work...), what little child would actually consider those verbal rebukes as a punishment?

The parents of today may threaten a punishment of some kind, but there is no follow through. It's a bluff, and when the kids call it, the parents back down. So what are we teaching these kids? That they can do whatever the hell they want and they'll recieve no punishment.

So, let's change the way the parent reacts. Same pause between each sentence. 'Johnny, stop it. Johnny, stop that or I will give you a spanking. Johnny! That's it!' *Spanks* 'Did you learn your lesson, or do I need to spank you again?'

Discipline. Kids need it. And the parents are too interested in being their child's best friend (if, for that matter, they're even interested in the kid in the first place) to enforce it. So yes, I say that spanking does NOT constitute abuse.
 

Requiem's Eclipse

Hopelessly Hopeful
For the first half of my life, I grew up on a small farm on Ohio. I know what physical punishment is and from my perspective, if you believe that smacking your child is abuse your a fool. I've been whipped with a belt until I've bled, amongst other things. So I really don't want to hear this nonsense that smacking your child is abuse. What people sometimes fail to understand is that children don't have the maturity of adolescents or adults. At times, they simply can't be reasoned with. You can't threaten to take away their favourite toy, or withhold desert for a night. You can't ground a small child. What a child can always respond too is pain. Pain in essence, isn't a bad thing. If we didn't have pain, we most likely couldn't survive. Pain tell us what we should and should not do. For a parent to take advantage of that, in the hopes of keeping their kid from doing something dangerous, is certianly not immoral.


Ouch, 'till you bled? Oh god. Though I've never been belted before I can see where you are coming from. Some children don't get a simple reprimand or punishment but, I did. On the other hand my brother was more inclined to the spankings to get something through to him, from the vague memories of him before he was 10. I think it depends on the childs behavior and overall demeanor rather then a quick generalization of all small kids. All of my family and friends say I was strangely mature for a toodler saying that I didn't get into trouble all that much but, my brother was the spawn of satan. So, I guess it truley depends on the child. But, my father didn't see that as he saw it fit to spank me until my butt was numb and red as a target symbol.
 

sippy_juice

Anvils are awesome
I think spanking is fine if used in the correct context, as a last resort or for very serious offenses. That's what my parents did. If I did something serious like back-talking when they were already disciplining me, or for repeat offenses where I had been in trouble before, my parents spanked me. They made certain I knew why I was getting spanked. It wasn't like they were doing it without explanation.

Part of the problem is, I don't usually see any form of discipline being used. Parents I know will nag and threaten their kids to death, without any back up. It doesn't always take spanking. Sometimes, all it takes is an authoritative, "No." If that doesn't work, Time out, or whatever thing you see fit. But if you've exhausted all your options, then yes, spank them.
 
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