Star Wars - Vengeance

[ggctuk]

Star Wars

VENGEANCE

PG - Some violence and mild fantasy peril.

The Old Republic has fallen and in its place, the
GALACTIC EMPIRE has risen. EMPEROR PALPATINE
now rules the Empire with a Iron Fist. His latest
apprentice, DARTH VADER, has made sure the JEDI
cannot interfere with Palpatine's plans.

But stirring below CORUSCANT's Skyline and in a hidden
Cloning Facility of UTAPAU, two beings, thought to
be dead, have risen to combat the EMPIRE. MACE WINDU
is leading the CAPITAL REBELLION, while GENERAL GRIEVOUS
leads the renewed Separatist Army. Only fate can decide whether
this brave attack will succeed....

 

[ggctuk]

Chapter One: Return of General Grievous

It has been ten years after the Battle of Coruscant. The Confederacy of Independant Systems has been eliminated, the Empire was instigated and Anakin was converted. On Utapau, the Elite Attack Battallion stayed to ensure the Utapauans didn't step out of line and rebel against the empire. Of course, there were remnants of the CIS spread across the galaxy. Gizor Delso was one of them. But there were more of these old remnants spread across the galaxy. On Utapau, there were whispers of an underground resistance to try to bring the CIS back to life. And indeed there was, but it was more severe than Commander Cody realised.
For the Geonosian Biotech, Gizzor Delso (brother to Gizor Delso, so he is a Geonosian), was attempting to resurrect General Grievous. Like his brother, Gizzor refused to accept the defeat of the CIS, so he and his biotechs worked to reconstruct Grievous. Unfortunately, they had found his body in a smoking heap on an abandoned platform. They recovered the body and started combing it. They had a clone of Grievous, imported from Byss, but they needed to get his memories back.
Suddenly, Gizzor struck a solid object in Grievous's burned out brain. He pulled it out. It was a series 940 Memchip. Obviously, Grievous took precautions for the eventuality that he did actually "die".
"#Put this in the clone's neurological centre#" Gizzor commanded his Biotechs. They did as they were told. They placed the chip in the clone's brain.
"#Activate the battering charge!#" Gizzor ordered.
A huge jolt of lightning struck the Grievous clone's chest. For a moment, it's body floated, and then-
"*Cough, cough, cough!*" the Clone coughed. "What's going on?" it asked.
"#General Grievous, Darth Sidious has betrayed us!#" Gizzor told him, "#Remember the 'new' apprentice he mentioned?#"
"What about him?" Grievous asked. He coughed again.
"#That apprentice was Anakin Skywalker! He told Lord Vader to kill the Separatist Leaders!#" Gizzor told him.
"WHAAT?!" Grievous growled. "We must stop him! Where are my lightsabers?"
"#They took them from you.#" Gizzor said. "#We - Wait? Where are you going?!#"
"To get my lightsabers back into my collection... And to add Vader's and Sidious's to it!" Grievous walked off.

 

[RaZoR LeAf]

Unless you are posting a chapter, don't double post. So far all you've posted is a summery of events, which is fundamentally all the initial crawl is.

 

[Guitar dude bill]

Well yeah like Razor leaf said. This is just a summary of star wars episode three so far. And also, do NOT use it in full capitals like that. With nouns, yes you use capital begginings. But NOT capitals like I did the not. So overall I can't review this, seeing as it's only a summary.

 

[ggctuk]

Unless you are posting a chapter, don't double post. So far all you've posted is a summery of events, which is fundamentally all the initial crawl is.

I don't have the time to write an entire chapter in 50 minutes (when I have other things to be doing - it is after all a SCHOOL NETWORK, so they chuck me off, so I have to hide this screen) so I will be editing it bit by bit. If you do not like it. IYACHH MACHH NECHH to you! (Don't ask what that means, one of the Mummy's Phrases)

 

[RaZoR LeAf]

Then don't. Write a part of it in 50 minutes, then write more it it in the next 50 minutes. In other wods, write a chapter, then post it in full. Not bit by bit.

 

[Guitar dude bill]

I don't think you realise you're meant to type in word.

 

[Lance's #1 Fan!]

Wow. You should write professionally for Star Wars!

 

[RaZoR LeAf]

Wow, could you be anymore stupid? I think so. This is hardly Timothy Zhan is it? Considering the Dramatis Personae in most Star Wars books is longer than this guy's prologue. Besides, the guy has obviously left the site never to return, judging by his guest status.