SURVIVAL PROJECT
chapter 14 ; [SENORI]
chance
*
We searched the city thoroughly for two days before we stopped. I don't want to say we gave up, but it almost felt that way. We had accepted Sai's erratic self, and trying to find predictability in his life was impossible. So we gave up, hoping he would come back to us soon.
Although we settled on having him locate us, I was worried about him and his health. Paranoia in pokémon was a bad sign, and it couldn't be much different in humans. That, and he had left his backpack behind, meaning he had no money or easy access to food. It didn't make sense for him to go home, either. He was from Vermilion City—another region! And as far as I knew, he didn't have anyone nearby except us...
While we waited for him to get over whatever spell he was going through, we figured out how to take care of ourselves. With Atis's help, we were able to sleep in the Pokémon Center room for one more night.
During our group discussions, Rennio suggested we backtrack to Azalea Town. It was too risky, though. What if Sai came back while we were gone? Traveling to the next city, where none of us had ever been before, was a worse idea. I didn't trust myself to let my teammates stray away from me. Separating was out of the question.
I decided it, then. We would stay in Goldenrod City and live as wild pokémon.
“I don't want to spend Sai's money without his permission,” I said when asked why we couldn't keep the room in the Pokémon Center. “We can tell Nurse Joy where we'll be in case she sees Sai when he comes back.”
“
If he comes back,” Kuiora said.
I shot her a look and said, “He'll come back.”
“How do you know?”
“I just know.” I had to believe in him. I had to believe this journey wasn't a waste. I had to believe we weren't going to crash and burn.
“Well, I don't care what we do.” I didn't point out her obvious lie. “It'd be cool to know what it's like to be a wild pokémon, anyway.”
“You don't want to know,” Rennio replied rather solemnly. He was probably still feeling guilty. I couldn't blame him.
“Anyone else want to add something?” I said, trying to keep things on topic.
“I-I think we should stay here... for now,” Atis said. “This is a big city, and he's more likely to turn up here than in the middle of nowhere.”
“Fair enough,” I said. “In that case, I say we stick around for five days. That seems reasonable, right? If he's not back in five days, then we'll leave.”
No one protested or offered another solution.
We waited in the room for five days. We had to convince Nurse Joy to let us sleep there for free while simultaneously lying about our trainer, but other than that, we had no problems. I tried to take care of everyone as I kept an eye out for Sai through the windows. If anyone wanted to go outside (which was often, considering our clashing personalities), they were allowed, so long as at least one of us was willing to let them back in. For food and water, we used whatever was in Sai's backpack. There was plenty to share. Mostly we were bored, though there was the occasional teasing between Atis, Kuiora and Ezrem. I thought I heard Rennio crying once, but I didn't want to intrude yet.
We waited in the room for five days, but Sai didn't show up.
*
We returned to the wild. None of us wanted to, but it was inevitable and it was the best choice, especially if we were in it for the long run. We were bored and antsy and confused. We wanted our trainer back, but we had to do
something for shelter.
That was when Ezrem spoke up.
“Who said you get to be in charge?” he said.
“W-What?” I said, my voice faltering. Even though I didn't trust him, I didn't expect him to have anything against me.
“I asked you what makes you think you get to be the boss of everyone.”
“Well,” I said, pausing because I knew I was a failure, “who else would want the position?”
“I do,” Ezrem said, walking over to me. “I'll be the new leader.”
“You're not part of the team!”
“I'm a better leader than you.”
“Oh? How?”
"I've been with a trainer for years. I know what to do in dangerous situations,” he explained. After a moment he added, “Plus, I gave you good advice on how to win that battle when we met. You owe me.”
“You haven't been with
our trainer. I was Sai's first pokémon!” I said. I could feel Kuiora's subsequent glare.
“It'd be safer in the city. What are you going to do if an extra strong pokémon attacks us?”
He was grasping at straws, I could tell. “The forest pokémon are weaker. We already know that.”
“Food and water?”
“Sai's backpack, or get it yourself.” I grinned at him. “Is that what you're afraid of? You don't know how to be a good wild pokémon, so you want to hide?”
Ezrem scoffed. “That's not it—”
“Sai's money is not ours to spend. We need to save it. We're lucky that we got to stay in the room as long as we did, and now it's time to move on.”
“And what if a trainer tries to catch us?”
“We can't be caught in pokéballs,” I said, my confidence growing as Ezrem went quiet. “Now... I think everyone should have an escort. We'll have to guard each other when we want to wander off or whatever.”
“Fine,” Ezrem said, smiling and sitting with the others. “I'll let you be the leader if I can go with Kuiora.”
“Really?” she said, squealing with joy.
“That's fine,” I said. I looked at the other two pokémon. Both of them had been silent, but I needed their input. “I'd like to take Rennio with me. Is that okay, Atis? You can handle yourself.”
“Right,” Atis said. He gave me an affirmative nod.
“Okay...” Rennio mumbled. He looked down, ashamed. Was he upset to not be with Ezrem? The bird had no reaction. He was busy talking with his new partner.
“Good,” I said softly. “Then let's go.”
*
If Ezrem was good for anything, it was for telling us which areas of Ilex Forest were mostly void of wild pokémon. He took us to the outskirts of the forest, a little bit past the daycare center. Kuiora asked why we didn't ask the lady there to take care of us, but I explained that that, too, would cost money.
If I'm being honest, it
did feel strange to end up right back where I started. I continued believing Sai would return when he was ready, however long that took. He was a dedicated trainer. He wouldn't abandon us if he didn't have to.
Kuiora's antics were amusing, at least. I second guessed her being paired with Ezrem, noting his deceitful nature, but he seemed genuine when it came to her. He taught her how to purify pond water, even though she could shoot out water guns if needed, and they brought back only the best berries.
“Me having to be a wild pokémon again isn't fair!” Ezrem said once, but I new he was making excuses so he could devour the food and water in Sai's backpack. I laughed at him.
“Don't make fun of Ezrem,” Kuiora said seriously.
“You should choose your battles more wisely.”
“Whatever you say.”
I laughed again. I enjoyed it when everyone followed my rules and directions. It was slowly turning me into a leader. Granted, I had always been the leader of the team, since Sai was incapable of being the trainer sometimes. I was lost without him, but that didn't mean I couldn't act as a sentry.
Atis stuck to himself. He defended Kuiora when Ezrem wouldn't leave her alone, which was nice to see, but otherwise he hid between the trees and slept by himself, as usual.
As for Rennio and me... Well, it was a calm adventure. That's the best way I can put it. I couldn't get him to talk, no matter how much I tried. He knew how to survive and keep us all afloat, though, so he wasn't intolerable. Soon I was determined to get to the room of the problem.
"It's not your fault, you know,” I said to him a week after Sai disappeared.
“Huh?” he said. He showed no emotion as he pretended to not know what I was referring to.
"It's not your fault Sai left. He's always been a little different. If you had been around longer before that happened, I guarantee you wouldn't be blaming yourself as much as you are now.”
“How do you know I'm blaming myself?” he said. It was the longest sentence I'd gotten out of him thus far.
“Once you feel guilty for one thing, you pretty much feel guilty for everything bad that follows.”
“Oh... Yeah. You're right.”
“See? Don't worry about it,” I said, not sure if I was reassuring him or not.
“I'll try not to.”
“Is that all that's bugging you?” I said, sensing that there was something more.
“Well,” he started, “we're close to where my trainer was killed. I don't know if I like it.” He paused. “Okay, I definitely don't like it.”
“I understand. I went back to my clan after the incident, and it wasn't exactly the best experience in the world.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. That's when I started to let go. I hope this can be the start of something new for you. You get a third chance.”
Rennio chuckled lightly—a success in my book. But then he frowned, sniffled and he
sobbed.
“I'm sorry,” he said. He wiped his eyes. “Water's supposed to be faithful to electric-type pokémon like me. I'm just... so, so sad.”
“It's okay. Don't cry,” I said. “Don't cry.”
He did anyway.
*
We carried through with our plan to live in the wild. We grew accustomed to it, but we still wanted Sai to come back. Things went smoothly—until there was a mishap. As if our luck couldn't get any worse.
Sai's backpack was stolen.
Even though I carried it by day and kept it near me by night, it was stolen. All that money, all that food, all that water... It was now gone. Sai certainly didn't retrieve his backpack and leave us behind. Someone—another trainer, probably—swiped it while I was sleeping.
“
Really?” Ezrem remarked, grinning madly. “We were trying
not to use Sai's backpack. How ironic. I knew I should have been the leader!”
I said nothing as I evaluated the situation. We were faring quite nicely in the wild, so the loss of water and food wasn't so bad. It was the loss of money and badges that worried me. What would happen if Sai realized his prizewinning belongings were taken away from him? Would he go crazy for the second time? ...Would he run away again?
I sighed.
“Be observant, in case it turns up,” I said. “Other than that, we keep going on like we have been.”
Everyone agreed, even Ezrem. The group dispersed once more, but I didn't fail to notice how Ezrem went over to Rennio and whispered something in his ear beforehand. He must have been more encouraging than me, because later on, Rennio actually began a conversation.
“Do
you feel guilty now?” he said shyly.
“Of course. I was in charge of the backpack...”
“Well, don't feel bad!” he said, smiling at me. “I know of a way we can fix things!”
“You do?”
“Yeah! When we were going places with Atis, a pokémon told me a secret about the people of Goldenrod City. Apparently, they're very giving people. A human could walk up to another human, ask to borrow their kitchen, and the kitchen owner would say yes in a heartbeat! I bet they're kind to pokémon, too.”
“...You're saying we should go to a bunch of houses and replace the stuff we had in the backpack?”
“I guess I am.”
I stood there, stunned. I hadn't heard anyone say such a thing about Goldenrod City residents, but it was plausible. We wouldn't trespass or steal or anything. They would be
offering things to us.
“We wouldn't be able to replace the badges,” I finally said. That was what we had worked the most for.
“No, but perhaps Sai won't care.”
“You're optimistic."
“Are we going to do it or not?”
“It's worth a try.” I couldn't ignore that happy face of his, especially when he was so forlorn the day before. “Watch out for Sai while we're there. Let's go.”
“Now?”
“Now.”
*
We let everyone know where we'd be going for the day, and then we headed back to Goldenrod City. I should have known better than to get my hopes up. We didn't see Sai anywhere.
“He'll come back,” Rennio said. It was ironic how our roles switched so suddenly.
“I know,” I said, though I wasn't entirely sure I sounded convincing.
Being in Goldenrod City brought back memories, most of them good. Sai had expanded his horizons while Atis broke out of his shell. Kuiora and Ezrem became closer, and Rennio... Well, Rennio got the worst of it. For the most part, this city was on my list of favorites.
Now we had to pick up the pieces after his selfish disappearing act. Going from house to house asking for supplies made everything feel
real. I didn't want to accept that my trainer would do this sort of thing.
“Are we sure this house belongs to a human?” I asked when we stumbled upon our first potential building. “This isn't anything like the flower shop, right?”
“Don't know. Who cares? Anyone could donate.”
“True,” I said. I looked up, overwhelmed by the door's tallness. For a moment I wished I was able to stand on my tail so I could open it myself, and so I could hold a human's gaze on an even level. Instead I knocked on the door with as much force as I could muster. No one answered.
“Try knocking again. They might come if you're persistent,” Rennio said.
I knocked again, and sure enough, someone showed up within the minute. The person was a man older than Sai, though not as old as the lady at the daycare center. He wore pajamas, which was odd until I realized the sun was setting. It was dinnertime. My stomach rumbled in response. This caught the man's attention. He smiled.
“Pokémon at my door, huh? That's a new one,” he said. My heart fell. Maybe this wouldn't work, after all. “Sounds like you're hungry. Are you here for food?”
I nodded vigorously. Yes, we
were hungry! Never mind the fact that we knew how to hunt.
“One moment,” he said, closing the door on us.
“I can't believe that just happened,” I said, turning to Rennio, who had a wide grin on his face.
“See? I told you! All our problems are solved."
“Yeah,” I said, then added quietly, “Sai will be happy.”
The door opened again, and there stood the man. He leaned down to hand us a bag of opened pokémon food.
“Here,” he said. “I'm sure my snubbull won't mind sharing.”
“Thank you very much,” I said, bowing in case he couldn't understand me. He nodded and closed the door.
Maybe Rennio was right. There was only one way to find out. We went to the door next door and someone answered. I didn't know what I had been expecting, but it wasn't
this.
Things don't always go as planned, however.
We ran into immediate trouble as soon as I said, “Hello!”
The person—a lady also wearing lazy clothes—peered down at us. She didn't greet us with a smile. She was about to close the door on us until I stopped it with my foot.
“Wait!” I said. “We're looking for food or water or clothes. Anything you want to get rid of! Someone stole ours, so, yeah...”
She remained mute. The language barrier was a bigger issue here.
“Sorry, I don't know what you're saying. Goodbye now,” she said. She turned and left. I didn't stop her.
“Well, I wasn't expecting that,” Rennio said, sulking. “Annie could understand me... Sai can too...”
“All these gold houses look the same. You would think that all the people inside would be the same. Nice and friendly, like that guy,” I said.
“That's not how things work, I guess. ...Should we keep trying?”
“Trainers are more likely to understand us, and I don't think many trainers would live here...”
“We could go to the Pokémon Center.”
“They'll recognize us. We were there too long.”
“I say we try one more house, see what they're like.”
I nodded. It would be a waste to only try two houses. We went next door, to the last house on the block. I knocked on the door, but it opened instantly. I pushed on it, opening it further.
“Does this mean anyone can go in?” Rennio said. I should have taken this as an obvious sign to retreat. If Rennio, who had traveled from region to region, didn't know, then
I definitely didn't know. But what if the answer was yes? There was much to gain and little left to lose.
“Stay here,” I said. “I'm going in.”
“Are you sure...?”
“Yes,” I said. I was the leader and I was going to do what I thought was appropriate. I got down on all fours and crept inside. I remembered scolding Sai for barging into places unwanted, but I sucked it up and told myself it wasn't my fault if I didn't know everything about human customs. I was just a pokémon who had been swept away by fate and brought to a a mysteriously open door.
I couldn't relay that message to the owners of the house if they saw me. And they
had to see me, or else I would be stealing. I purposefully sought them out on the bottom floor. It was inviting, what with the paintings on the wall and the comfy couches and the dim lights. It was different than Sasha's house in Azalea Town, and I thought it strange how the layout of a house was made to fit the lives of the humans in it, while Pokémon Center rooms were so bland and made for anyone. If Sai chose to settle down someday, I wanted him to be his own interior designer and architect.
Another thought occurred to me. There were no pokémon here. I should have left, but I kept going until I reached the kitchen. There was a stove, a fridge and a table, and a weird object protruding in the middle. I think Sasha had called it an island. It could keep me hidden, if needed, but otherwise it was useless.
They found me, even though I was careful. They weren't thrilled with my presence, considering they slapped me with a broom. The bristles scratched my and the impact of the blow caused me to fall flat on my stomach. I tried to stand up, but I was hit again.
“Get out, you evil creature! How dare you come in!” I heard a lady yell, along with crazy obscenities that made it seem like I was a monster sent to kill her.
I escaped the broom's third swipe. I darted toward the front hallway and to the open door, but the lady was chasing me. She was doing a fine job of it, as she managed to hit me before I tumbled out off the porch and past Rennio. I backtracked to get my teammate. He was as confused as ever and now
he was being swung at. I grabbed him by the arm, ignoring the pokémon food that was spilling, and I dragged him to the other side of the street.
“And
stay out!” the lady said, waving her broom in the air. She slammed the door and that was the last we saw of her.
Rennio rubbed his head. “What was that about?”
“A pokémon hater,” I said simply. “Go figure. I think we can be done now.”
“I'm sorry... I was just trying to help.”
“It's not your fault. At least we got one bag of food...” I trailed off, noting how there wasn't much food left in the bag after having to escape from the lady. “Half a bag,” I corrected myself.
On the way back, I asked him who had told him about the Goldenrod City residents.
“Ezrem did,” Rennio replied. “He told me not to say it was him, because you don't like him... Why do you ask?”
That explained a lot. “No reason. I'm just an idiot," I said.
*
Everyone came up to us to see what we had brought back. When they saw that we only had a measly bag of pokémon food, they became upset.
“Geez, I would have done better than that!” Kuiora cried.
“Yeah,” Ezrem said. “All that work for nothing.”
I glared at him. “Don't you even
talk, Ezrem. I know it was you who told Rennio about that.”
“I don't know what you mean!”
“I would think that your smile lights up the sky, considering how nice you were trying to be, but now I know it’s just the glow of everyone else’s hopes and dreams being incinerated,” I said, too angry and upset to care if my words hurt him or not.
“You don't say.” He smiled.
“I bet you stole Sai's backpack to make me mad!”
“I wouldn't do that to my new trainer,” he said. “You're losing your head. That means I should have been the leader!”
And maybe he was right. Maybe his personality could have benefited us in this situation. Had he gone instead of me, he could have convinced those humans to give him what he wanted. Or he might have kept us in the Pokémon Center, and then we would still be there, with our belongings intact.
I was a shameful leader, if anything.
That night, I didn't sleep. There wasn't anything to protect except the opened bag of food, but I kept watch over it anyway. I lay there, wondering what I could do to be
better. I thought I had gotten past this pain by scrutinizing the team's individual needs and by not letting Sai's emotions affect me. For a while, that had gone over well, but now my world was turned upside down. Sai needed me, and I wasn't there for him. My team needed me, and my efforts had backfired.
I couldn't rationalize the idea of me being a shameful leader. I had done my best, and the terrible things that happened were out of my control. Besides, no one was severely hurt, mentally or physically. I just had to go along with my instincts and not follow Ezrem's (and maybe Rennio's).
Why was I doubting myself? I recalled the conversation between me and Rennio. I concluded that the guilt regarding my clan haunted me still. I heard everyone's cries and the sneasel's lies, the banishment, my heartfelt explanations... I knew my recovery wouldn't be smooth, but I dreaded the fact that I might never get over it.
There had to be another way.
I vowed to figure it out, with or without Sai.
