Manaphy Mare
1000 Words
Manaphy Mare: Yay, our second Lilyara is here! Nice character, but I do have a couple of issues with Rosa:
1. You're a bit overpowered in the Abilities section. 14 copies of herself?!? Well, I'll allow it, as long as Rosa sacrifices some of her offensive and defensive capabilities while duplicating herself (like how the Pokemon attack Substitute requires an HP sacrifice for each copy created). I'd also recommend getting rid of the ability to notice ambushes and traps and such, as there are some traps that are more well-concealed than she may think. In fact, I think this perceptive trait would find a better place in the Personality rather than Abilities.
2. Where exactly is the village? Is it in the Wing like the Yokai settlement TheSequelReturns mentioned, or somewhere else? I don't see any locations in your History...
You can still go ahead with your first post and all, but these two things (especially #1) need to be fixed sometime soon.
I'll be fixing those soon.
Also, a side note: I myself practice Ninjutsu--yes, it is a valid martial art. It is a very practical art, much of it having to do with dealing with an opponent quickly and efficiently, but has a spiritual, almost magical component to it as well. I can go on and on about this, but this is just food for thought. And I can tell you right now that one of the NPC's who might show up later on in the RPG is a ninja.
So you'd be willing to correct any errors in my portrayal of the art? Also, an NPC who's also a ninja... Do I smell a potential rival?