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Tarnished Scars {Action-OT Fic PREVIEW II}

Falthor

The Magma Incarnate
[ TARNISHED SCARS : THE EPIC ØF THATCHER GRESLIN ]

An Action/Adventure Original Trainer novel by Falthor.

[ Førewørd ]

“When he approaches the light, his eyes will be dazzled, and he will not be able to see anything at all of what are now called realities.”
~ Plato, The Republic

[ Dedicatiøn ]

For inspiring me, challenging me, and reshaping my way of thinking, I truly idolize this man. You’ve done so much for me, and you know little about it. You truly are the greatest being on the face of this earth, and I am glad that I could be under your tutelage these past few years. I dedicate it to you, Bob Smith (I will not disclose your real name because of the lack of safeties on the Internet), but I know whom you are, and I’m glad you’ve done so much for me. Thank you.

[ Letter frøm the Authør ]

One eventful day, as I was searching through the old remains of The Cave of Dragonflies forums for some of my old works––as this forum was pruned of everything prior to 2005––I found Tarnished Scars, and began to read it. I was immersed in the world of Goldracone, the land in which everything took place. As I read, I saw my tendencies to over-describe many of the places, objects, and sceneries that were very unnecessary. The plot was gone; it just seemed to be a journey about a boy and his Cyndaquil. Of course, the original premise was that, as well, but he would eventually be known as a “Chosen One” of some variety.

The second revision will be much similar to the original two in terms of premise, but stylistically will be significantly different. Thatcher will no longer be a ten-year-old, angst-filled individual, but an eighteen-year-old whose life is seemingly normal. He is a normal teenager who has just graduated from high school who must make an important decision: spend four years of his life in college, another three in medical or law school; or embark on a journey as a Pokémon Trainer, discovering who he is as both a Trainer and as an individual. The Pokémon journey he eventually decides to go on is an example of the odyssean archetype, as elements from novel(la)s and epics such as The Epic of Gilgamesh, The Iliad, Moby-Dick, The Odyssey, Heart of Darkness, The Voyage of Argo, Ulysses, and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, which all provide both a physical and metaphysical aspect to humanity.

The story itself, in my opinion, is my greatest work. I plan, unlike all of the fics I’ve written over the past four years, that this one will be completed, hopefully by the end of the summer. I will work on a chapter a night, getting all thirty chapters (ten chapters per each book, almost to the style of Avatar: The Last Airbender, which does twenty per book) done within a month. Each chapter will be very elaborate, since I will, instead of writing seventy chapters for a novel, which is humanly impossible, write more of the significant things in each chapter, so maybe instead of ten pages on Pages (the Mac equivalent of MSWord), I may write twice as much, or 1.5 times as much, who knows?

I truly hope, as a member of SPPf, an author, and as a human being, you appreciate and properly criticize my work. Much has been done to perfect my writing style: I’ve spoken with my school’s Creative Writing teacher on many occasions, since I could not take his course this or next year, discussing how I could tweak this; emphasize that; make description as powerful as it could without overdoing it; using other writers such as Clemens, Conrad, Hemingway, Poe, Melville, Hawthorne, Joyce, Shakespeare, Austen, and many more, as inspiration to help mold my style to one of theirs, yet retaining and evolving the elements that I am good at (supposedly my characterization is so complex that it astounds him greatly).

I hope you enjoy Tarnished Scars. In it are amazing characters, a potentially great plot, and an effective use of language and I wish that this story can be just as influential as many of the novels you’ve read in your lifetime. It is greatly moving if you revere it, criticize it heavily, and, in the end, make me a better writer and a better person. Thank you for taking the time out to read this fic, this masterpiece, this work of aesthetic quality that deserves both appreciation and reverie.

Keep in mind, that for disclaimer purposes, this work is entirely fiction. The names, characters, and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or localities, is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved.

Peace and love,
Falthor, author of Tarnished Scars.
__________________________________________________
The following is an excerpt from the first chapter, "Genesis."

Thatcher, wake up...

The buzzing of my alarm clock began as soon my eyes opened. 6:00 exactly. I sat up, ran my hand through my hair, and shook my head, trying to get my locks of hair out of my line of sight. I lifted the sheet off my bed, threw it on the floor, and slid my feet into my slippers. I slowly arose out of bed and plodded to my bathroom. I rubbed my tired, baggy eyes and looked at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were completely bloodshot, dark circles developing underneath. Insomnia was beginning to become my best friend. I turned the faucet and no water spewed from the tap. I nudged the faucet to see if the water would come out, but it was to no avail. I began to jimmy it, shaking the faucet rapidly in a bit of an angered rage, but no dice. My parents probably didn't pay their water bill again. Great.

Don't worry…I can make it work.

After hearing the voice speak inside my mind, the faucet turned on by itself and water began to spew from the tap smoothly, even if the faucet was turned completely clockwise, which was odd. I looked around with shifty eyes, trying to interpret what was going on. I shook my head once more and opened my medicine cabinet. In it lay seven different types of sleeping medicines, shaving cream, razors, and other crap. I grabbed my toothbrush and squirted some toothpaste (which was conveniently on the sink) onto the bristles and began to brush my teeth. I was tired, so my movements were not thorough. Suddenly, a bright, blue, pulsating aura surrounded my toothbrush and the thing brushed my teeth all by itself. Somehow amazing, but mostly just weird.

"What the hell?" I said, muffled. I was quite bewildered, but on the other hand––which may sound more logical––I'm just delusional. I splashed water on my face, fully waking me up. I wasn't delusional; the toothbrush was brushing my teeth all by itself! I opened my mouth and the toothbrush moved aside so I can spit the toothpaste out. I filled my small, six-ounce cup with water and spat out the remaining toothpaste and smiled at myself in the mirror, checking for any missed spots. Somehow, my teeth were even whiter than they were before. This was incredible, but above all, the weirdest thing I have ever seen in my eighteen years of living.

"Damn good toothpaste," I said, trying to block out the awkward events that just occurred. I left the bathroom, the faucet of my bathroom sink turning by itself as I exited. I turned around, realizing that the same aura that surrounded my toothbrush was there. It disappeared a nanosecond after I looked at the faucet. I looked around in different directions, trying to determine what was going on. The morning just began, and already it was off to a weird start. I then flicked the switch to my bedroom, but the light wouldn't turn on. I looked at my alarm clock, it was working properly. I then realized and muttered to myself, “It’s on battery power.” Ah dammit. My parents didn't pay the electric bill either. I turned off the light switch to prevent any danger from happening. But the light bulb in my room flickered and brightened the room ten times brighter than my original incandescent bulb.

"What the hell?" I inquired towards the heavens, my hands in the air, further showing that I was completely bewildered by the day’s events. I scanned the area for something electrical in the area. But there was nothing to be found. I was a bit disturbed, but if there were someone in the city who was kind enough to do this, then by all means, I definitely would let him do so. God knows my parents wouldn't do this. They probably got wasted last night, as usual, and forgot to take on their parental responsibilities and pay their damn bills and nurture their son.

I gathered my belongings and began packing. Apparently, today was the day that I would receive my companion for life. They were called "Pocket Monsters," better known as Pokémon. I had anticipated this moment all my life; it was the day of my legal emancipation from my parents. I had saved enough money from my job working as a busboy at the diner to provide for myself and my partner, and perhaps a traveling fellow Trainer whom I may encounter from time to time. I was nothing but prepared for this life-changing event.

I closed my knapsack and snapped my fingers. The light bulb didn't flicker off, but as I left and closed my door, it did. My room was bare; all my possessions were in a bag slung over my shoulder.

I walked into the living room, which was also my parents' bedroom. Liquor bottles, cans of beer, and other forms of alcohol were scattered about. My parents were on the floor, completely hung over, holding bottles of whiskey in their hands. My father's bottle was dripping, a puddle of the smelly crap forming underneath. I trudged to the kitchenette and saw that there were no paper towels, napkins, nor any kind of liquid absorber whatsoever. Home sweet home, huh?

No point in telling them "good-bye." Half the time, they didn't even care about their own damn son, more so not knowledgeable of the fact that they even have one. I put one hand on the doorknob, took one last look around the apartment, and closed it, leaving the key to it on the table at the entrance.

Good-bye.
 

Azurne

~ ♥ ~
:<




Now you're going to make me wait even longer for the actual release. Darn you.



(bounces)


But let me know when chapter one is up! It sounds amazing, and I really mean it. :)
 

Smunkie

Di immortales!
Yeah, let me know when the first chapter comes out too! This excerpt seems really promising, nothing wrong grammar-wise and I'm already interested in the plot. What exactly were those powers, I wonder? The drunk, good-for-nothing parents were also a refreshing deviation from the norm.
Also, your letter beforehand was a nice touch. It was easy to tell how much you care about this story and how much effort you're going to put into it.
 

Glajummy

Why so S E R I O U S
I don't know why but anything that has to do with some kind of mysterious aura attracts me. So naturally, I'm already liking this fanfic. I'll be keeping my eyes open for the main thread.
 

Burnt Flower

Horror Mistress
Very interesting, Falthor. I think you really improved as an author since the last time I read one of your fics.

I just have a question: why does Thatcher want to become a Pokemon trainer so late in life (since most are ten-year olds) when he has so many other opportunities in life ahead of him?

And wow, his parents sure suck. o_0

Other than this very nicely done, and good luck with finishing your most important fic! =)
 

Ventus3

Waiting for summer
Yayz! I read it, and it's good. I can't wait for it to come out! I want to know what that mysterious aura was, that shall be interesting to figure out.
 
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Bay

YEAHHHHHHH
Sorry for the late reply. Busy with my own fic. ^^;

First off, man I wish I have my teeth clean like that! I have to go to the dentist in a little while for check up...=O Second, usually aura powers (most of the time Chosen One fics) and such don't come until a bit later in stories, but seems you're trying to get the action getting started so that's both surprising and refreshing. Also, sorry in advance if I somehow interpt this as a Chosen One fic and it's not. ^^;

There are a couple of things I want to say. First, like Burnt Flower said, I wonder too why Thatcher started his journey late.

Second, on the first preview for the prologue it's in third person, but in this preview it's in first person. I assume the prologue is in third person while the rest of the story is in first?

Third, even though I love the style you set up for the first chapter, not rushing things and trying to set things up, I'm going to give a quick pointer to not go too much in description and emotions when doing action scenes. Since you're labeling this as an Action OT, I assume there's going to be many things happening, and many times action scenes need to be fast pace. True, you need the emotions in, but at the same time you don't want to go too much to lose the rhythm of some very exciting scenes. I pretty much said that because I had one review on my battle oriented one shot that battles are meant to be fast pace and such.

In short, quite like this and looking forward for the first chapter. ^^
 
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Falthor

The Magma Incarnate
:<




Now you're going to make me wait even longer for the actual release. Darn you.



(bounces)


But let me know when chapter one is up! It sounds amazing, and I really mean it. :)

Why, thank you. Yes, I'm letting all of you know upfront that this will take a while. I want to finish the novel before summer's end, but with many of my late-night things, other commitments, e.g. job hunting, college visits, summer assignments, and the like, I have been unable to really work on my chapter-a-day goal I had set in mind. I'm sorry if this has been an inconvenience for you, but it is reality; things never seem to go right in practice instead of theory.

Yeah, let me know when the first chapter comes out too! This excerpt seems really promising, nothing wrong grammar-wise and I'm already interested in the plot. What exactly were those powers, I wonder? The drunk, good-for-nothing parents were also a refreshing deviation from the norm.
Also, your letter beforehand was a nice touch. It was easy to tell how much you care about this story and how much effort you're going to put into it.

I shall not disclose those powers, but if you really want to know...nah, I won't reveal anything. Maybe I'll post yet another preview in a few weeks if I get some more work done, but that's only tentative for now. But expect Preview III perhaps by mid-August, if I could get some work on it done. The letter beforehand, the Foreword, is to be added before the prologue when the final project is completed, but I felt that posting it now was necessary for your understanding of the creative process at work.

I don't know why but anything that has to do with some kind of mysterious aura attracts me. So naturally, I'm already liking this fanfic. I'll be keeping my eyes open for the main thread.

Thank you. Auras are astounding, and I believe that you will like the story even more when you read it when it makes its first appearance soon. Although this story will be very action-oriented, there will definitely be some fantastical elements in it, as well, so you can see how much of the mystical, mythological, and other allegorical elements fall into play here.

Very interesting, Falthor. I think you really improved as an author since the last time I read one of your fics.

I just have a question: why does Thatcher want to become a Pokemon trainer so late in life (since most are ten-year olds) when he has so many other opportunities in life ahead of him?

And wow, his parents sure suck. o_0

Other than this very nicely done, and good luck with finishing your most important fic! =)

Thanks, Burnt. I believe so, as well; with time comes ability, and the development of the English language is a skill that you can only master after you work at it. Then again, I still have doubts in the fact that I'll never be as great a writer as many of the other people here; I always feel like that, however. It's how I roll.

As for your question, I feel that eighteen is a good age for embarkment. It gives people an ultimate choice. Whether you decide to go to college or become a Trainer, you're still going to be independent, so why not make eighteen the age for that? I also think that it'll bring out the elements of human nature that you won't see in ten-year-olds. I mean, seriously, ten-year-olds are highly dependent on their parents, but eighteen-year-olds, they have an extensive knowledge of life, liberty, and the pursuit, so I believe it makes more sense for an eighteen-year-old to leave home.

Yayz! I read it, and it's good. I can't wait for it to come out! I want to know what that mysterious aura was, that shall be interesting to figure out.

Thank you. I am looking forward to your reading of this story, as well. I'm glad you enjoyed this preview.

Sorry for the late reply. Busy with my own fic. ^^;

First off, man I wish I have my teeth clean like that! I have to go to the dentist in a little while for check up...=O Second, usually aura powers (most of the time Chosen One fics) and such don't come until a bit later in stories, but seems you're trying to get the action getting started so that's both surprising and refreshing. Also, sorry in advance if I somehow interpt this as a Chosen One fic and it's not. ^^;

There are a couple of things I want to say. First, like Burnt Flower said, I wonder too why Thatcher started his journey late.

Second, on the first preview for the prologue it's in third person, but in this preview it's in first person. I assume the prologue is in third person while the rest of the story is in first?

Third, even though I love the style you set up for the first chapter, not rushing things and trying to set things up, I'm going to give a quick pointer to not go too much in description and emotions when doing action scenes. Since you're labeling this as an Action OT, I assume there's going to be many things happening, and many times action scenes need to be fast pace. True, you need the emotions in, but at the same time you don't want to go too much to lose the rhythm of some very exciting scenes. I pretty much said that because I had one review on my battle oriented one shot that battles are meant to be fast pace and such.

In short, quite like this and looking forward for the first chapter. ^^

'S alright, Bay. So long as you managed to read it, I'm glad. As for your questions: yes, this story may be seen as a "Chosen One" fic, but I won't explain why. I'm already revealing too much already, and that was not my main intention. As for your first wondering, I believe I explained the answer to that "question" in my response to Burnt Flower. Secondly, yes, I'm sure one must have noticed that sooner or later: as for the first preview, ignore it. I am not writing that prologue; I have other things in mind for it, which will enhance the plot even more and make it even more wondrous. Thirdly, to answer your question regarding the genre, I wish to be honest. I hate genres. Novels are novels. Sure, my story may have a ton of action in the future, but there is much allegory, figurative language, philosophical elements, fantastical elements, and other important aspects of literature that I intend to incorporate into the fic, so the genre could be described as "multifaceted."

Thank you all; I have added all six of you to the Notifications List, since you all cannot wait for its release. If at all you will change your User Name, let me know and I'll change accordingly. Thanks for all the great wishes, and I hope you'll continue to discuss this fic for years to come.
 

Ryano Ra

Verdant Vitality
As for your question, I feel that eighteen is a good age for embarkment. It gives people an ultimate choice. Whether you decide to go to college or become a Trainer, you're still going to be independent, so why not make eighteen the age for that? I also think that it'll bring out the elements of human nature that you won't see in ten-year-olds. I mean, seriously, ten-year-olds are highly dependent on their parents, but eighteen-year-olds, they have an extensive knowledge of life, liberty, and the pursuit, so I believe it makes more sense for an eighteen-year-old to leave home.
^.^; There we hit a snag.

Education time! ^^ This is pretty much simple; being as your story is known as OT (Original Trainer) it deals with a journey. OT fanfiction must follow some rules unless specifically stated otherwise. One rule of an OT fanfiction is that it follows the world of canon strictly. Otherwise, you should not label it 'OT'. In the world of canon, the stated age for starting a journey is ten years old. I know, it may seem a bit odd to have little children walking around trying to capture pokemon, but it's canon. (I don't agree to this at all, since my main characters are sixteen, but I have stated specific reasons as to why they started so late.)

So unless you have a very good reason as to why your main character waited eight years to start a journey, it will get criticized heavily my friend. That's the only thing you must worry about when writing OT; following some strict rules of canon. Otherwise, you'll get some very nasty feedback from A LOT of people. Because taking into account, since the age is ten years old, and he's 18, that gives him the classification of having the same level as a ten-year-old trainer that is starting off. So you'll have to give a good reason to why he's so old in the world of training with typical 10-year-olds that start off on their journeys. It's not a matter of what you feel, it's sometimes the matter of what rules you must obey or it won't be pulled off in the slighest way.

Phew, that's over. ^.^ Now onto the good part.

I'm addicted to this preview. @_@ I love it how there's something mysterious about it, and your writing have very much improved. I like your way of detail (You already know I'm a description fan) and I saw everything clearly. Thatcher seems like a pretty interesting character that I may grow onto me as the story progresses into the future. There were no mistakes except where you capitalized "trainer"; I don't think it needs to be capitalized, but then again, I'm most likely wrong. xD Great job; PM LIST NOW!
 

Azurne

~ ♥ ~
^.^; There we hit a snag.

Education time! ^^ This is pretty much simple; being as your story is known as OT (Original Trainer) it deals with a journey. OT fanfiction must follow some rules unless specifically stated otherwise. One rule of an OT fanfiction is that it follows the world of canon strictly. Otherwise, you should not label it 'OT'. In the world of canon, the stated age for starting a journey is ten years old. I know, it may seem a bit odd to have little children walking around trying to capture pokemon, but it's canon. (I don't agree to this at all, since my main characters are sixteen, but I have stated specific reasons as to why they started so late.)

So unless you have a very good reason as to why your main character waited eight years to start a journey, it will get criticized heavily my friend. That's the only thing you must worry about when writing OT; following some strict rules of canon. Otherwise, you'll get some very nasty feedback from A LOT of people. Because taking into account, since the age is ten years old, and he's 18, that gives him the classification of having the same level as a ten-year-old trainer that is starting off. So you'll have to give a good reason to why he's so old in the world of training with typical 10-year-olds that start off on their journeys. It's not a matter of what you feel, it's sometimes the matter of what rules you must obey or it won't be pulled off in the slighest way.

You know, I'm really really sick of all this talk of what 'is cannon' and isn't.

Rules are rules, I'm sure, but if you've got a good writer who can write an eighteen year old OT story properly, then who gives a crap. The critics can jump up and down with their "it's not cannon" speech, but it's not going to matter in the long run. I personally don't care. I don't see the world coming to a close in the near-future because his story isn't religiously following cannon rules.


Are they actual rules anyway? Where are theses stated? :/


That was nothing personal against you, Ryano Ra, I'm just sick of people getting all choked up about this cannon thing. It's fanfiction.
 

Falthor

The Magma Incarnate
All right, time to settle this argument right now. It's a matter of what I think, and do you know what I think? FUC KTHE CANON. Let me tell you a brief story. The year is 2003 and I am but a twelve-year-old seventh grader heavily interested in the world of Pokémon. But what's this? I begin to hate the anime! Who wouldn't when the same storyline is repeated constantly: Team Rocket tries to steal Pikachu, Ash befriends a Pokémon instead of being an actual Trainer (yes, it's supposed to be capitalized), and thinks he's the greatest man alive. Hm, I think, it's time to switch it up! Enter Life of a Trainer, my first fanfic. Sure, the characters are ten-year-olds and the world is Kanto, and the premise is generally the same, but what's this? An actual plot? Family betrayal? Sister takes over Team Rocket? The Trainer is the second heir to Team Rocket's throne? DRAMA!

Furthermore, about the concept of ten-year-olds embarking on a journey. Ten-year-olds are still in school, just about to enter the fifth grade. What fifth grader do you see living on his own in the United States? Children like those are declared "MISSING" by the police, their parents, and the U.S. government. Trainers, let alone ten-year-olds, cannot fend for themselves because they are still dependent on their parents or guardians. The idea of attachment is still there. When can a person gain legal independence from their parents or guardians? At the age of eighteen, when a man's idea of conscience has fully developed, his smarts are evident, and has some idea of life experience that he could apply to any of his endeavors. That is the age I decided to use this fic for. Plus it makes for more drama, because the main thing on the eighteen-year-old's mind: SEX.

Good day.
 

oRaNgE~1337

Well-Known Member
In the world of canon, the stated age for starting a journey is ten years old. I know, it may seem a bit odd to have little children walking around trying to capture pokemon, but it's canon.

People in the manga start at 11, but I don't know for sure since I'm just judging with the character bios on Serebii. In the games, children start training the monsters whenever, but can't go on an actual journey until they are whatever. I don't think an actual age is stated.

Anyway, if he's trying to get laid, why is he going to train dogs instead of going to college? I bet it'd be easier in college.
 
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Ryano Ra

Verdant Vitality
People in the manga start at 11, but I don't know for sure since I'm just judging with the character bios on Serebii. In the games, children start training the monsters whenever, but can't go on an actual journey until they are whatever. I don't think an actual age is stated.

Anyway, if he's trying to get laid, why is he going to train dogs instead of going to college? I bet it'd be easier in college.
o.o; Jeez people. Calm the hell down. -_-

I don't have a problem with this whatsoever (and I really see the point of why it would be completely stupid to have the age limit at ten years old) but it's just canon my friend unfortunately. So I don't need anyone coming to attack me about it, damnit. >.>; It's canon damnit. Ask one of these canon-knowledgable people and they'd give you the speech. I frankly don't care what age the trainer is (the older the better to me. there isn't much you can do with a ten-year-old) There are just canon-leading writers around here (some being more experienced such as the almighty Dragonfree) that if they read it, they'd come with a rocket launcher ready to attack. And yes, it is stated in canon that all trainers embark at ten years old. As I specifically stated, my characters are sixteen year old (ten years old is typically stupid).

There will be people, like me, that don't care. A story is a story, there shouldn't be a goddamn rule about age appropriation. I'm just saying don't get all frustrated when you have readers (and trust me, you'll have quite a sum) that'll go haywire because you're ignoring the rules of canon (and whether or not you know it, you are. I know I am, but I could care less. ^.^)
 

Falthor

The Magma Incarnate
o.o; Jeez people. Calm the hell down. -_-

I don't have a problem with this whatsoever (and I really see the point of why it would be completely stupid to have the age limit at ten years old) but it's just canon my friend unfortunately. So I don't need anyone coming to attack me about it, damnit. >.>; It's canon damnit. Ask one of these canon-knowledgable people and they'd give you the speech. I frankly don't care what age the trainer is (the older the better to me. there isn't much you can do with a ten-year-old) There are just canon-leading writers around here (some being more experienced such as the almighty Dragonfree) that if they read it, they'd come with a rocket launcher ready to attack. And yes, it is stated in canon that all trainers embark at ten years old. As I specifically stated, my characters are sixteen year old (ten years old is typically stupid).

There will be people, like me, that don't care. A story is a story, there shouldn't be a goddamn rule about age appropriation. I'm just saying don't get all frustrated when you have readers (and trust me, you'll have quite a sum) that'll go haywire because you're ignoring the rules of canon (and whether or not you know it, you are. I know I am, but I could care less. ^.^)

You brought this upon yourself, my good sir. Sorry for flipping out, but those who constantly abide by the rules of canon are not being creative or open-minded enough to let things occur. Ten-year-olds going on a journey is simply ridiculous, in my personal opinion. You agree with me, sir, and I respect that, and for those who disagree, I respect your opinion. I don't care if you come with a rocket launcher ready to strike. This is my piece of work, and if you don't like the fact that immature young men and women going on a journey together, their lust for each other increasing, the fact that they actually perform sexual intercourse at one point (that scene will be rated R, I won't go into detail at all, just the slight mention of it; trust me, you'll notice when it is about to happen), make for everything more adult and more realistic. That's life. You can't experience life as a ten-year-old because it's unknown territory. It's unknown territory as well for an eighteen-year-old, but the elements of life he'll undergo are much dramatic, and in my opinion, more interesting than the exploits of an immature fifth grader.
 

Ventus3

Waiting for summer
The sad thing is, I probably shouldn't even be reading this since I'm not even 13! xD Oh well, if Texas Chainsaw Massacre didn't make me scream I can handle this right? Except I may have to skip the. . . "other" parts shall we say? >_> My step-dad is nosier than a star-nosed mole.
 

Ryano Ra

Verdant Vitality
You brought this upon yourself, my good sir. Sorry for flipping out, but those who constantly abide by the rules of canon are not being creative or open-minded enough to let things occur. Ten-year-olds going on a journey is simply ridiculous, in my personal opinion. You agree with me, sir, and I respect that, and for those who disagree, I respect your opinion. I don't care if you come with a rocket launcher ready to strike. This is my piece of work, and if you don't like the fact that immature young men and women going on a journey together, their lust for each other increasing, the fact that they actually perform sexual intercourse at one point (that scene will be rated R, I won't go into detail at all, just the slight mention of it; trust me, you'll notice when it is about to happen), make for everything more adult and more realistic. That's life. You can't experience life as a ten-year-old because it's unknown territory. It's unknown territory as well for an eighteen-year-old, but the elements of life he'll undergo are much dramatic, and in my opinion, more interesting than the exploits of an immature fifth grader.
We see things very similar. ^.^

I mean realistically there isn't much you can do with a ten-year-old trainer. I mean there may be, but I don't like the rules of canon at all. Most of the rules I do just spit on and call it a day because the whole world won't end, and reviewers are starting to open their imagination. All I was saying is that don't be surprised if a reviewer realizes the age (which you will probably make too obvious) and gives you the pathetic 'canon rules' speech. xD

BUT ENOUGH YOU ARE THY BROTHER OF MINE. *smothers*

I do have a question -- there will only be thirty chapters on this? ^^ That seems like a reasonable amount of chapters, something that's a contrast to a particular work that I know have x4 as much (coughsMINEScoughs). ^^ But I do like this...will there be any sort of fantasy elements in this? Or is it just strictly an Action-OT?
 

Falthor

The Magma Incarnate
Thirdly, to answer your question regarding the genre, I wish to be honest. I hate genres. Novels are novels. Sure, my story may have a ton of action in the future, but there is much allegory, figurative language, philosophical elements, fantastical elements, and other important aspects of literature that I intend to incorporate into the fic, so the genre could be described as "multifaceted."

We see things very similar. ^.^

I mean realistically there isn't much you can do with a ten-year-old trainer. I mean there may be, but I don't like the rules of canon at all. Most of the rules I do just spit on and call it a day because the whole world won't end, and reviewers are starting to open their imagination. All I was saying is that don't be surprised if a reviewer realizes the age (which you will probably make too obvious) and gives you the pathetic 'canon rules' speech. xD

BUT ENOUGH YOU ARE THY BROTHER OF MINE. *smothers*

I do have a question -- there will only be thirty chapters on this? ^^ That seems like a reasonable amount of chapters, something that's a contrast to a particular work that I know have x4 as much (coughsMINEScoughs). ^^ But I do like this...will there be any sort of fantasy elements in this? Or is it just strictly an Action-OT?

Thank you, brother. The quote above explains what this fic will be. I just used that tagline because it's how the majority of the fic will be executed, I believe.
 

Falthor

The Magma Incarnate
A friendly bump because I have yet another snippet. It's from the revised Prologue, completely different, and the perspective is also different. I've decided to switch the POV of the whole story to the third-person because it's easier for me to write better that way. I've been speaking with other fan fic writers on other boards, and they haven't been so generous as you have; they've been a lot stricter, harsher, and more critical. And I like it.

Anyway, here is a snippet of the Prologue, which was also heavily analyzed, but not as heavily edited, if at all:

Prologue: Battle of The Phoenix said:
“It’s time,” a voice whispered in the black of night. A low growl responded obediently, and a whoosh followed shortly thereafter. The beast dashed through the shrubbery without any hassle, whereas its human master failed to maneuver with ease. Branches, twigs, and other forestal objects struck his face every step the person took. After colliding with a tree trunk a second afterward, painful groans echoed through the forest. A patrolman shined his flashlight through the bushes to the area where the figure was, and, to his surprise, no one was there. A tiny leaf gently flew through the light zephyrs and touched the ground softly. The cloaked man stealthily slid down the tree he collided into and regained his composure, then surveyed his surroundings. He saw his target: the large, looming skyscraper almost half a kilometer away. His journey would be difficult, but he managed to come this far; he did not come here to fail. It wasn’t an option: his life depended on it.

The hound, which was coated in black fur, skulls, and devil’s horns, sat next to its master, anticipating any further commands. It looked up and saw the reminder of the thief’s last encounter with this beast: a large scar that covered half of his face. He touched it, looked up, and ran towards the building, gesticulating that the dog follow him.

The two had planned this attack for years: every precise movement, every outcome, every possible event that would occur, they had studied. Their mission was of prime importance, and failure to do so would end in termination. Nimbly moving about, the two shadows glided along the sidewalk and managed to reach the fire escape in record time. The man looked at his watch obsessively, calculating every nanosecond that passed. Everything had to be precise, or else all would fail.
 

Falthor

The Magma Incarnate
A friendly bump because I have yet another snippet. It's from the revised Prologue, completely different, and the perspective is also different. I've decided to switch the POV of the whole story to the third-person because it's easier for me to write better that way. I've been speaking with other fan fic writers on other boards, and they haven't been so generous as you have; they've been a lot stricter, harsher, and more critical. And I like it.

Anyway, here is a snippet of the Prologue, which was also heavily analyzed, but not as heavily edited, if at all:

Prologue: Battle of The Phoenix said:
“It’s time,” a voice whispered in the black of night. A low growl responded obediently, and a whoosh followed shortly thereafter. The beast dashed through the shrubbery without any hassle, whereas its human master failed to maneuver with ease. Branches, twigs, and other forestal objects struck his face every step the person took. After colliding with a tree trunk a second afterward, painful groans echoed through the forest. A patrolman shined his flashlight through the bushes to the area where the figure was, and, to his surprise, no one was there. A tiny leaf gently flew through the light zephyrs and touched the ground softly. The cloaked man stealthily slid down the tree he collided into and regained his composure, then surveyed his surroundings. He saw his target: the large, looming skyscraper almost half a kilometer away. His journey would be difficult, but he managed to come this far; he did not come here to fail. It wasn’t an option: his life depended on it.

The hound, which was coated in black fur, skulls, and devil’s horns, sat next to its master, anticipating any further commands. It looked up and saw the reminder of the thief’s last encounter with this beast: a large scar that covered half of his face. He touched it, looked up, and ran towards the building, gesticulating that the dog follow him.

The two had planned this attack for years: every precise movement, every outcome, every possible event that would occur, they had studied. Their mission was of prime importance, and failure to do so would end in termination. Nimbly moving about, the two shadows glided along the sidewalk and managed to reach the fire escape in record time. The man looked at his watch obsessively, calculating every nanosecond that passed. Everything had to be precise, or else all would fail.
 
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