Team Rocket: The Unremitting Strife (PG-13 for some language and violence)

[Clockworkz]

So far, only a diminutive prologue and chapter 1 exist. Read. Enjoy.
.....Please Comment ;_;

Prologue

The year is 2006. February. Team Rocket's expansion has dramatically increased in most of Japan, reaching out into Shinjuku, even to the small outlying country towns. As their influence spreads, the terrorist attack for Pokemon raids increase, and on one cool, cloudy day, disaster reaches the small village of Kuriyama. The Rockets have located a Pokemon Center in this town, its PC's packed with unique Pokemon. They raided it, and then killed everyone inside. The police are powerless. The citizens are shocked and frightened. Terror roams free in Japan, going unchecked. News of the tragedy reaches Kazuma Aramaki, a young man living in Kuriyama, and the news he hears destroys his very livelihood.

Chapter 1

She ruffled his hair as she spoke to him. His mother was going out on an errand to the Pokemon Center in the middle of the quaint, uneventful town. Each house was about an eighth of a mile apart, and not incredibly big. People kept to themselves, and the only center of activity in Kuriyama was the unusually and uncharacteristically large Pokemon Center that often held meetings for Trainers and whatnot.

"Take care of the house while I'm gone Kazuma!"

He looked back at her half heartedly as he watched the television in the living room.

"See yuh, mom." She was in her late thirties; tall, and beautiful, with long back hair that reached the small of her back. As she left, dressed in her long skirt and soft black leather coat, Kazuma looked over to her, and felt suddenly ill at ease.

"It's probably just my imagination," he said to himself as he shrugged off the feeling.

Not long after his mother left, a rapping came at his front door. Unwillingly, Kazuma got up form his spot in front of the TV and opened the door. Standing there in his grey hoodie and jeans was Kazuma's friend from his High School, Shinji Maeda. He and Kazuma both graduated last year, and were making their plans for college by skipping a year before actually attending.

"Oi! Kazuma! How are you, buddy?" Kazuma greeted him in his loose fitting blue tee shirt and baggy jeans with a half hearted smile.

“What's up, Shinji?" questioned Kazuma. It's not uncommon to see Shinji rapping at Kazuma's door, but this time, there was something wrong. Kazuma could sense some vibes that he didn't like. Shinji took him by the shoulder, walked inside, and shut the door behind him.

"I saw them, Kazuma. Team Rocket. They're here." Shinji's long, stubbly face grew solemn and upset as he plopped down on the couch in the living room. Kazuma's eyes widened as he stood next to Shinji.

"What!? What are they doing here?" Kazuma demanded. Shinji looked back at him.

"I don't know, but it can't be anything good. They were headed towards the Pokemon Center." Kazuma suddenly felt a chill run down his spine.

"No... My mother's in there!" Shinji leaned back and folded his arms. "I doubt they'd hurt her. There's no profit in killing off small town civilians like us." Kazuma boiled with rage. He fumed at his friend's words.

"How can you be so calm!? These murderers are in our hometown! You're just gonna standby and watch?" Shinji leaned forward, and stared at Kazuma. "Kazuma, there's nothing we can do, dammit! Even the National Guard is too afraid of them. We should just let them take what they want, and we'll be alright." Kazuma sat down on his couch next to Shinji. His head started to pound as he held his face in his hands, desperately trying to come up with a solution to his problems.

Suddenly, gunfire could be heard in the distance. Not the sound of pistols, but of the more violent and evil sounds of machine guns. Kazuma stood at attention, grimacing at the door. Sweat dripped down his head, and tears welled up in his eyes.

"No...." Shinji just looked at Kazuma, and then hung his head. He was certain of what had happened, and his friend was not going to like hearing the news of the events that have transpired. That much was for certain.

It was only a few minutes of dead silence in the household before the inevitable knocking on the door resonated throughout the house. Kazuma's heart sank, and knot formed in the pit of his stomach. As he slowly opened the door, Shinji looked over from the couch to whoever was disturbing the somber moment. It was a police officer. A man, dressed in a police hat, blue suit, white shirt and black tie. Very neat and tall, the man looked at Kazuma with a solemn frown.


"Are you Kazuma Aramaki?" he said with incredible sadness in his voice. Kazuma nodded slowly, and Shinji looked away despondently.

"I am officer Takahashi, of the Shinjuku Police Force." The officer took out a dossier and read it aloud.

"I regretfully inform you that today, at 3:06 PM, in the Kuriyama Pokemon Center, Yukiko Aramaki, as well as everyone else inside, were killed in the line of fire in a terrorist attack by Team Rocket. There were no survivors." He put the dossier away.

Kazuma stood rigid as a bored, as tears welled up in his eyes, and even though the feeling of this calamity has penetrated him down to his core, he remained firm and stoic, showing little to no emotion for quite some time as he stared down the police officer with the epitome of melancholy distress while his palms sweat and his legs began to feel weak, like wet noodles while pondering the turn of events and how he would go about handling the current situation like an adult.

All the while, Shinji just gaped with sheer disbelief after watching the events unfold before his very eyes, feeling the utter solitude and loneliness that his friend must surely be experiencing. At that particular moment in time, Kazuma felt like the last and only person on the face of the planet, as the separation anxiety from the only member of his family began to set in, forcing him to finally open up and display his feelings outright and without shame or second thought.

He took off into his room across the hall from the bathroom, and slammed the door, with an unrestrained feeling of sadness, confusion, remorse, and most interesting of all, sheer anger, and soon, all he could think of was destroying the terrorists who took the life of his maternal influence away. Shinji looked up to the officer, and walked over to him. Shaking his hand heartily, Shinji nodded.

"Thank you, officer." The policeman looked into Shinji's eyes, and could tell that he and Kazuma were friends right away.

"The boy needs a friend about now. Go and cheer him up. We'll take care of all the legal matters." Shinji nodded, and wiped a stray tear from his face, and closed the door as the officer left the home.

In his bed, Kazuma remembered the face of his mother; the woman he saw, not a half hour ago. He couldn't come to grips with it, and in his rage, he punched the wall as hard as he could, breaking the sheetrock and bloodying his hands.

"Mom... I'll avenge you... If it's the last thing I do..." he sobbed. Revenge was the only thing on his mind as he made his threat... No... His promise to Team Rocket.

 

[Clockworkz]

Not needed anymore due to the above edit.

 

[icemew]

This is really hard to read. You should have paragraphs.

 

[Clockworkz]

**Deleted; I don't feel like reading my ignorance any longer**

 

[Act]

This does not help my gramatical prowress, O Speaker of Indents.
I type, y'know; like an author. Not a fic writer. Just to clear up any confusion. Mm'kay? Mm'kay.
Also... Thanks for not commenting on the storyline, and if "paragraphs" are going to deter you from reading it and reviewing it, then... I don't know. I'm trying to think of some sarcastic insult that isn't meant to be serious, but I'm failing miserably at that. =_=

Yes, you are failing miserably. Stop trying.

He's right-- you need paragrphs, hun. Most people won't read something if it's illegible, and lack of paragraphs is about as illegible as typewritten work gets.

That said, I'm not sure how an 'author' and a 'fic writer' are different things. And even if an 'author' is a standalone thing, I'm pretty sure a rule of thumb for authors is 'indent' and 'use paragraphs.' And somehow I find myself more confused. Somehow. -.-

Then... maybe you should take advice? I dunno, this is really ridiculous. We don't like trolls here.

Don't sass someone who was trying to help you. And, furthermore, don't fail at sassing someone who is trying to help you. It makes you sound really, really bad.

If you decide you aren't too cool for paragraphs, I'll give you an actual review. Though, judging by this reaction...

BTW, do read the rules and avice threads. Chapters must be at least a page long in Word it is, I believe.

 

[Tale]

On with a review!​

-------

Ok, so the first thing I noticed about this chapter was its disorganised state. Not too important when writing fics at all, but it was certainly a downpoint, and a point that could definately deter readers. I think sprucing it up a bit might be a good idea, perhaps underline the 'chapter 1', maybe even give it a title, and perhaps, like icemew advised, creating a few paragraphs. Every piece of writing needs paragraphs, not just fics, keep that in mind.

Especially during dialogue. Usually, when a person speaks, a new paragraph is created when another person speaks. It just makes it far more organised and it looks far better, and again, it is far easier to read - something that does need to be taken into consideration.

While on the disorganisation subject, I found the fact that you continued chapter one in another post completely, when it would have all easily fitted into one post, very confusing and pretty unkempt. Might I advise adding that part of the chapter to the first part, and completely deleting the second post? Unless you wish to keep it as two parts, in which case I suggest another title (e.g. chapter 1: part 2) to let people know.

One thing that irked me was how the pace of this fic moved so fast, very fast. I thought it lacked atmosphere, just a bit more description of the surroundings perhaps, more detail on Kazuma's emotion? Anything to drag it out a little more would be good, as tension plays a big part in this chapter I think. I think more emotion wouldn't go amiss either, okay, kudos for the wall-punching and stuff, but I'm thinking before Kazuma's mother's death. Maybe he should run up to the door or check through the window or something - just out of sheer worry, he needn't see anyhting. I think that will help drag it out more as well, not just show a little more reaction from Kuriyama.

Okay, so those are the pointers out of the way.

I found the fic very interesting, the plot is oneof the most original I've seen and I adore your writing style, despite its quick pace. You've paid attention to detail as well, and you've really given Team Rocket better character, far more intimidating that what most fics would portray, or the games or anime.

Like I said, your style is great, and that includes the grammar and vocabulary. Your description is good, lacks in some places, but I'd say its overall point was put across well. You've really hooked my interest with this one, such a cliffhanger ending to chapter one. You've set the plot, pretty fast might I say, but you've given us somethign to look forward to.

So yeah, overall I enjoyed it very much. Perhaps more length and organisation and I'd be very impressed.

Good job!

 

[Clockworkz]

Edited. After a careful review of the rules, I feel as though an apology is in order. Forgive my actions, as I now see the error of my ways; it won't happen again, I promise.

Now with paragraphs. Again; I sincerely apologize. *is embarrassed, and rightfully so*

 

[Clockworkz]

I make short chapters. As short as they can legally be. Also, I don't know if I used "-chan" in the correct sense. Anywho....


Chapter 2

Six months have past, and the scars of the holocaust that struck the town have not yet faded from the annals of its history. All the legal matters have finally settled with Kazuma and his mother’s death. He was given possession of the house, and any payments on it or mortgages have been fully compensated.

Kazuma has changed. Though he could remember his past, he could never relive it, for the life he had became a shattered mirror, which he could no longer look into and see one person. Faces stared back, laughing, mocking, without guilt or sorrow, taunting Kazuma each night he slept, tormenting him in his sleep. The solitude was unbearable.

“So this is how Shinji must feel…” Kazuma said to himself as he lie in his bed one moonlit night. Shinji’s parents divorced, and he decided to move out on his own when he was but 16. Using what little money he had, he rented a place in Kuriyama, and made plenty of friends. Kazuma was the most notable of them all.

Kazuma was a tall, handsome man, with long features, and long silver hair which reached his shoulders. It flopped messily over his eyes, and he never bothered to comb it back. He felt it gave him a sense of individuality, so he always left it unkempt, but strangely, it looked rather good on him. He was athletic, but never played sports actively. He could always be seen in a black hoodie and jeans, as it was the most expedient way to dress without getting too casual, he always thought. He did relatively well in Shinjuku High School, getting rather high marks, so many see him as a better than average student. He’s not one to slack off; Kazuma always finishes every job he starts. His ordeal with Team Rocket will be no different.

As the sun rose in the morning after another sleepless night, Kazuma awoke with an unnatural decisiveness in his heart. Without even eating breakfast, he began packing a single backpack with clothes, bottles of water, a first aid kit, and several other supplies that would come in handy for a long hike.

He left his house, breathing in the warm August air, and seeing the orangey yellow of the sunrise. As he lifted the old garage door of his home, he happened to see Shinji across the street, with his arms folded.

“Oi. Kazuma.” He waved at his friend, and Kazuma stood up and looked back to his friend, who was leaning against one tree in a forest on the edge of the country road. The wind blew from the south, and Kazuma, who was facing the sun and his friend, squinted from the blowing and the solar body in his eyes.

“Shinji-chan…” Kazuma knew full well what Shinji wanted to tell him, and Kazuma wasn’t about to shut him out any longer. Shinji’s head was hung, so you couldn’t see his eyes under his mid length straight hair.

He held up a Pokeball, and Kazuma could clearly see it, even against the shadows. Finally looking up, Shinji smiled and looked at Kazuma. His eyes were bloodshot and had dark circles under them from lack of sleep.

“I stayed up all night long trying to catch this little bastard for you, Kazuma.” Kazuma smiled, realizing the deed his friend had done for him. “If you’re going to take on Team Rocket, you might as well have something to fight them with.” He tossed the red and white ball to Kazuma, who caught it deftly in one hand.

He examined it, and finally said to Shinji while crossing the road to him, “What’s inside?” Shinji grinned.

“Toss it on the ground and find out, bro!” He nodded and complied, lightly throwing the ball to the grass.

The chemical reaction occurred, and in a small explosion of light and sound, the form of a creature took place, and after the light had subsided, the Pokemon was able to be seen completely. It was a lizard, resembling an Iguana, only much smaller; only about two feet long. Its chin and underbelly was red; possibly warning marks or mating signs.

“It’s a Treecko, Kazuma. A grass Pokemon. Take good care of it, man” Kazuma smiled as he looked into the sunrise, then back to Shinji. “Thank you, Shinji.” Shinji looked back to his friend. “So I guess this is the part where you ride off into the sunrise?” Kazuma chuckled a bit.

“I guess so, my friend.” Shinji pushed off the tree, and sauntered up to Kazuma.

“Then I’m going with you, ya crazy bastard.” Kazuma stood in a bit of shock, as he was half turned around to go back across the road to his home.

“…What?”

 

[Tale]

I love Treeko! My favourite of the starters, it can certainly be an interesting character, something I trust you'll take advantage of.

Great chapter, again short, but it makes it far easier to read, and easier to review. I must say I prefer shorter chapters to long ones.

I can't really help you with the "-chan" bit, though I'm sure someone will explain it in a future review.

You've really lived up to the standard you've set for yourself in this chapter without a doubt, the grammar was great and the vocab, so all is good. I'm glad you included a bit of desription to Kazuma's appearance in this one, I was having trouble imagining wha the looked like, and I like how he looks as well, very original. Not often you get silver hair on a character, very Japanese-y.

I had trouble spotting anything wrong with this chapter, and its so nice to see you took the paragraphing into consideration, and with the last as well. It's also lovely to see an apology, how nice of you ^_^, I was worrying there'd be a retort instead, but its wonderful to see that.

So yeah good chapter, I struggled to find anything wrong with it at all. I loved that ending as well, you seem to have a knack for intriguing endings to chapters =P.

Loved it, great start to the adventure, and again, you paid attention to detail. Looking forward to chapter three =D.

 

[Clockworkz]

This iteration's a bit longer, mainly because I fleshed out a Pokemon battle, and whatnot. Also, the chapters now have titles. Chapter one is "The Travesty". Two is "The Decision". Without further ado, here's Chapter Three.

Chapter 3
The Battle​

Kazuma gazed at Shinji in confusion. He was certain he didn’t hear that right. Shinji smiled, and walked over to him, then lowered his head.

“You know…. If I let you go to your mother, maybe you could have made a difference. Maybe… She wouldn’t be dead now.” Shinji was devastated, and the guilt that beleaguered his mind has been torturing him for a while now, and if there was even the most remote chance of getting that monkey off his back, he would take it.

“Shinji, this is my fight. There’s no need for you to risk your life over me.” Shinji just laughed a bit.

“God, Kazuma. You’re always so serious. Accept a little help. You can’t go it alone; I won’t let you. You’re almost like a brother to me.” Kazuma smiled, and considered the idea of taking his good friend along with him.

“You don’t have a Pokemon though… Do you?” Shinji smirked at the remark.

“As a matter of fact, I do. I never told you, mainly because it’s a Dark type, and most people look at Dark types, thinking they’re evil, or something retarded like that.” Kazuma was a little shocked. He was taken aback at the thought that his best friend would think that he would judge him based on his Pokemon.

“Well, what is it, then? Let me see.” Shinji sighed, and pulled out a blue and white Great Ball, and tossed it upon the ground. After the dazzling display of electrical energy being reformed into solid matter, the Pokemon stood on its two clawed feet.

It was completely black, and had a short, thin body and a large, ovoid head, with large green eyes. Its face resembled that of a cat’s, but retained a strange sense of humanity in it. There was a single red feather jutting from its left ear, and an odd, elliptical yellow mark on its forehead, and a similar one on its chest. The most notable of all its features were its razor sharp claws; two of them on each hand of its short, thin arms. Shinji looked down at it, and scratched its head, while it purred in exuberance.

“This is my Sneasel. I caught him about a year ago in a cave not far from here. I was getting lonely living alone, so I found this little guy, and he’s been by my side ever since.” Kazuma eyed him suspiciously.

“Are you… a Trainer?” Kazuma asked. Shinji scoffed to himself at the idea, and rolled his eyes.

“Oh, God, no. I never battle unless there happens to be a wild Pokemon in my way. And even then; those occurrences are pretty uncommon around here.” With that remark, Kazuma smirked.

“Well, then; how ‘bout a Pokemon Battle? Might as well get used to it of we’re going to be fighting the Rockets.” Shinji was amazed at Kazuma; he was the last person he thought would ever want to spearhead a battle right off the bat. Shinji was hesitant, but gave in to the challenge, and accepted it. He took Kazuma by the shoulder, and walked with him onto Kazuma’s driveway, with the Sneasel toddling along.

“Alright then, Kazuma. Show me what you got!” Kazuma grinned.

“You asked for it!” With that, he took out his Pokeball and tossed it upon the ground, releasing his Treecko for the impending battle. The Sneasel noticed his contender, and readied himself.

“Treecko! Charge at it, and then dodge! Flank him from the side!” The small lizard dashed out right into the Sneasel’s line of sight, which attempted to cut the lizard apart with a slash from its claws. Instead, the only thing its claws struck was the asphalt of the driveway. The Treecko was out of its sight, and the next moment, the Sneasel was Tackled in the side, and was propelled several inches. It gripped its side in a bit of pain, as the lizard cautiously eyed its foe in anticipation of its next move. Without hesitation, the Sneasel launched at the Treecko, jumping a foot into the air, and planting one of its claws firmly into its tail.

“Treecko!” Kazuma exclaimed, but his worry quickly faded once the lizard’s tail snapped off in its defense, and it escaped to the Sneasel’s back, and landed a forceful Quick Attack upon the back of the Sneasel’s head, knocking it unconscious.

Kazuma and his Treecko were triumphant, and a gleam appeared in his Pokemon’s eye. It too was evidently happy from the outcome of the fight. Shinji seemed to shrink in disappointment, as he despondently activated the lens on the Great Ball, returning his Sneasel its home.

“Dammit…” he cursed to himself, wallowing in his defeat. The beam of red light reacted with the genetic makeup of the Pokemon, and it was transformed into pure energy, as it was called back into the orb.

“Nicely done, for a new Trainer, Kazuma. You keep it up; I still got a lot to learn, I guess” He rubbed the back of his head as he smiled.

“Hey, Shinji.” Kazuma looked right at his friend, as he too retrieved his Pokemon into its ball. “Thanks, man.” He smiled. “Come on; get your things. Let’s go Rocket hunting.” He said with a decisive tone to his voice. Shinji grinned, and after he thanked him with a hearty handshake, he dashed off back to his house to get his belongings together. This is going to be one hell of a road trip, he thought to himself.

 

[Tale]

Not much I can say, Clockworkz, loved the chapter, very impressive.

One thing I love about your writing style is how you manage to keep a great level of vocabulary, yet upon reading, its really quite easy to get through and see what you're explaining and describing. Basically, its an easy read, yet with a high quality.

Everyone loves Sneasel, and I hope you'll make that character a good one, because its just so damn cool not to be. I wish it would have played more of a part in the battle though, I'd love to see those claws in good use.

While on the subject of the battle, I was kinda dissapointed with its length. Dont get me wrong, the skill involved and choreography of it all was very impressive, much more original and realistc than most battles in fics, but it was definately very short, and I wouldhave loved to have seen more from such a great battle. I was sad to see it end so fast.

No matter, the plot more than makes up for it. I can't wait to see the journey begin once and for all, and to see the first confrontation with TR themselves.

Again, great chapter Clockworkz, keep it up!

 

[ShadowCloud62]

Okay, Japanese suffixes

chan: refers to young boy/girl, like a child
san: teen females, young women
kun: teen males, young men
sensei: senior citizen, male or female, or teacher of course

Read the chapters, excellent story! I love how you added revenge. Treecko will be playing a large role, I presume? Although I prefer Mudkip....Treecko's cool! Good start, I do love your description. But please make your chapters longer, please.

 

[Clockworkz]

Oh? I though "-chan" was for a very close friend, or a small child. That's why I used it in tat sense. Oh well...
A longer chapter. Here you go. Thanks for the review! I appreciate it!

Chapter 4
The Assault​

It was an almost awe-inspiring site to see. The mid morning sun beat down upon them as they traversed the quiet, farmlands of the countryside, the two intrepid men on their mission of vengeance, revenge, and hopefully, maybe even inevitably, peace. Upon their bicycles, the youths looked ahead to the future, and pondered over what should be the next course of action. Kazuma was in front, with Shinji not far behind. Shinji piped up, shouting so that Kazuma could hear him.

“Where are going to go, Kazuma?” Kazuma turned to look behind him, and replied,

“We’re going to look for help! We’re headed towards Nakano, and maybe the Gym Leader there can give us some information.” A sound plan; Nakano was only several kilometers to the west, and it was light travel. Hideki Anzu, the leader of the Gym would most likely be of assistance, as nothing gets past him, when it comes to current events. He is also credited with being the holder of the Terra Badge, for his Pokemon were all of the ground type; many aspiring trainers choose to challenge him first, since the Ground type holds familiar weaknesses of water and grass.

But battling, much less collecting badges, was the last thing on Kazuma’s mind. The weather was beautiful; bright and sunny, and approximately 76 degrees, with a mild wind blowing from the south, which barely startled the trees that sparsely populated the acres of fields, dotted with large cows and other farm animals gazing in the sun. The wooden farm fences gave the area a very rustic feel, and made Kazuma feel much calmer than he had previously been. Shinji breathed a deep sigh as he took in the fresh air as the wind blew into his face as he kept pace with Kazuma.

Unfortunately, the peacefulness of the rural surroundings was interrupted by the all too familiar (and unfortunately common) sounds of gunfire. Kazuma’s stopped his bike instantly, with Shinji following suit.

A horrid flashback ensued in Kazuma’s mind, as his eyes grew wide and he gaped in the direction of the sound. He began to sweat, and he found it hard to swallow. Shinji was in shock, as he exclaimed, “What the hell? That ain’t no angry farmer, I don’t think!”

Kazuma finally got two words out of his dry mouth, ridden with the taste of fear. “Oh, God…” Shinji walked his bike over to Kazuma, and smacked him upside the head, looking a bit annoyed.

“Whaddaya doing, just standing there? If it is Team Rocket, then we got a few scores to settle!” Shinji remounted onto his bike and sped across the street. Kazuma continued to stare into the small, dense forested area bordering a fenced in field, where he heard the gunfire originate. But as soon as he noticed Shinji speeding off like a bat out of hell, Kazuma regained control of his body, and attuned his senses again.

“Shinji, wait!” Kazuma kicked off the ground with his bike and followed him into the woods. Several more shots were heard, and as the duo continued to navigate dexterously though the forest, remembering what they were up against.

* * *​

Her mind raced. The men surrounding her were clearly not friendly entities, as their gunfire has spoken for them. Her shoulder bled, and she was in pain, but that did not stop her from guarding her child in her lap, as she knelt upon the grass.

“You don’t know when you’ve lost, do you,” one of the men sneered. He was tall, and had a long face. His chin was dark with stubble, and his eyes were not visible, for large, silver reflective sunglasses rested upon his nose. In his teeth was clenched a cigarette, half smoked away. He, like all of his comrades, was clothed with black combat pants, and matching boots and tactical upper body gear, which included a tight, long sleeve shirt, combat gloves, and a tactical vest, on which a large, red painted ‘R’ was adorned. In his right hand, he gripped a billy-club, and smacked it into his other open palm repeatedly, as he closed in menacingly upon his victim.

“Last warning, bitch. Give us the child.” She narrowed her red eyes as the man, and held her child tighter to her chest, as she scowled at him. Using her telepathic prowess, she reached out to her oppressors once more.

“You shall not have him! I would sooner die, than let you monsters take him away from me!” Her assailant stopped just short of her, and she looked though her green hair and up towards at the cruel man who towered over her, now looking solemn and angered.

“Fine. Have it your way.” He brought his arm above his head, and crashed the billy-club down upon her face, smacking her into delirium. She softly wept to herself, trying to ignore the pain, as her small, pale child was torn from her arms while she lay there, helpless to stop the kidnapping. Blood dripped out of her mouth and down her chin, as she cried out to her child.

“No… Ralts… Please! Leave him be! Take me instead-“ Her telepathy was cut off with a swift kick to the stomach, knocking all the breath out of her. Her enemy walked off, with the crying toddler in his arms, as he walked back to his van.

“He belongs to Team Rocket now. Men! Finish her off. The boss is gonna be beside himself when he hears we finally got this little bastard,” he told his troops, before he started the ignition in his van, and drove off, with a satisfied look on his face.

The Rockets grinned, and moved in closer to the battered Gardevoir mother with their guns raised, and she squinted her eyes shut, as she quietly waited for her now-meaningless life to end…..

 

[Clockworkz]

I was bored so I made another chapter. Now, it's 1AM where I am, and just wrote this now, so I don't know how it came out, but I'm posting it anyway. Here.

Chapter Five
The Promise​

Like an explosion, two young men on burst from the brush of the wood, on their bikes, into the large clearing, where the Gardevoir was being cornered. They swerved their bikes as they touched base with the ground and leapt off them. One of the guards turned around to see them, in utter astonishment, as he called out to his friends.

“Hey! There are kids here!”

“What? Who are they?”

“We gotta do something!”

Various responses were uttered in this befuddling turn of events, and the acting leader of the gang decided to speak up.

“Get them!” Amidst all the confusion, Shinji had ample time to deploy his Sneasel, who now stood next to his trainer, steadfast as a rock. Shinji and his Pokemon started running to the side of the Rockets as they were chased, and Kazuma followed suit. There was a black van in front of them, and Shinji and Kazuma decided to hide behind that.

The injured Gardevoir opened her eyes and picked up her head, watching the bold heroes draw the Rockets’ attention. Meanwhile, taking cover, Shinji looked down to his Sneasel as he ran.

“Sneasel; I need you to kill those men chasing us!” he instructed, while he crouched with Kazuma behind the van. The Sneasel gave a look of fear, overlaid with confusion. “They’re bad men, Sneasel. You have to! Please!” It nodded as it stared at its Trainer, and suddenly stood at attention and turned around to face the Rockets, who managed to catch up to his prey.

“Aww, look; the little kitty wants to play with us,” one of the Rockets mocked sarcastically, as he aimed his nine millimeter at its head. However, without any sign of an imminent attack at all, the Sneasel leapt with a grunt, and sunk its claws deep into the Rocket’s throat, by utilizing a Faint Attack. As the body fell, the Sneasel pushed itself off the dead guard’s face, and propelled itself forward onto the other Rocket’s head, who shouted in panic. With reluctance, but no hesitation, the Sneasel reared back, and thrust its right claw through the roof of the screaming Rocket’s mouth, killing him instantly.

All the while, the Gardevoir watched, too battered up to move. She laid there, and watched the battle unfold, in the hopes that she would actually live through this nightmare. The other Rockets gained a newfound fear of the little black bipedal weasel, but still held their ground. Only three were left. Shinji and Kazuma stopped running once they saw that the Sneasel had dispatched the two guards. Shinji’s Pokemon slowly ambled up to its Trainer, with a bit of sadness and disgust in its eyes. It was obvious that the smell of blood left a bitter taste in his mouth. Yet, it seemed to not care about its blood stained claws, and just looked down, as though it were ashamed of what it had done.

However, Kazuma’s senses picked up the recognizable clicking sound of clips being loaded into guns, and shoved Shinji to keep him moving. “Run!” A hail of gun fire traced their path, only a few feet behind them, as they darted along the edge of the woods, now on the Rockets' other side.

As Kazuma ran, he managed to pick up a rock that was on the ground, and he turned and threw it at one of the guards. It nailed one of them in the head, and he was sent reeling, his finger still depressed on the trigger. The Gardevoir hid her head with her hands, as the stray gunfire unintentionally penetrated the skulls of his two comrades, and before the man that Kazuma struck fell to the ground, the Sneasel was already there behind him. The guard fell onto the Sneasel’s claws, as it thrust its blade-like digits into the back of the guard, and tossed him aside.

The Rockets had been dispatched. Shinji hung back to examine the scene, and saw his Sneasel on the verge of tears. He bent down and pet its head, smiling.

“Those men were evil, guy. We did what we had to so we could help another. Please understand.” After a few seconds, the Sneasel looked up at its Trainer, and leaned into his legs, wrapping its arms around Shinji’s shins. He smiled, and looked back at his little black friend. “I know. It’s alright. I love you, too.”

Meanwhile, Kazuma gazed around at the carnage the he helped orchestrate while he approached the Gardevoir and knelt down next to her, smiling, offering his hand, and though she could barely move, she still managed to gently put her hand in his while she curiously watched the human who risked his life to save hers.

“What is your name?” she asked him through telepathic communication. Kazuma blinked, as he had never experienced psychic emissions before, but he soon adjusted himself. It sounded just like someone talking to him, even though her lips weren’t moving.

“I am Kazuma Aramaki,” he explained, as he stared at the injured Pokemon. She seemed tall. Her face was incredibly hominid, aside from the fact that she had no nose, and her enchanting eyes were larger, and naturally red. Her green hair was in a natural, bouffant-like style, and it hung lazily over her eyes. Her body was very thin; the same went for her arms. They too were incredibly slender, but thickened around the forearm smoothly, and it seemed almost club-like in appearance. Her hands flowed directly from her forearms into her wrists, showing little transition from bone structure. Her chest was built like a normal adolescent human female chest, and in its middle was a triangular crimson appendage, which resembled a small horn. Her thin, green legs were shrouded by a white cloak. Whether it was a natural part of her body was indiscernible, as it flowed as smoothly as fabric, but looked attached to her torso.

Kazuma looked down at her sad face, and smiled, to let her know things would be alright. “You’re safe now. Nothing’s going to get you, alright? I promise.”

 

[ShadowCloud62]

Oh, wow! That Gardevoir, poor thing!!!
Loved the chapter(s)! Both very entertaining yet sad in the process. I hope Ralts will be all right. And Gardevoir, oh the poor girl.
Kazuma is getting a lot of character building, and that's what I like.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must type the Fuhrer's paperwork...

 

[Zerodius]

That story is not too bad... and I'm not too good with reviews so I'll skip the introduction and get to the good/bad points.

Good points:

-Your main characters (human ones) are fleshed out well.

-Storyline actually seems a bit original. Adventures involving humans but that do NOT involve taking on the Pokemon League are rare, actually.

-The Gardevoir was well-developed and I expect her to become an important character.

-Team Rocket actually come off as convaincing in the "evil bad guys" department...

-Good vocabulary.

Bad points:

-Your Pokemon characters are mostly Pokebots (I'm bothered in the way that the act of holding a Pokeball suddenly allows your characters to command a Pokemon's every move although the two have been knowing each others for, like, two seconds)

-Nitpick: POKEMON WORLD =/= EARTH! I hate you for making this take place in Japan.

-Team Rocket's acts of violence and cruelty are seemingly totally random. Do they have ANY reason to murder all those people?... and wouldn't an adult Gardevoir be a good catch? Why kill her?

All in all:

It's good... but beware not to make your main human characters into angst-happy characters and to make your Pokemon characters into Pokebots! Also, Team Rocket is evil and all... but I hope that later on, explanations for its evil acts will be given outside of "they're evil bad guys" since else, they will fall flat as villains.

Well, that's all for now.

 

[Clockworkz]

Oh, Zerodius; All those questions will be answered in due time, actually. I'd answer them now, but I don't want to ruin any of the plot.
I WILL say, though, that TR was on a top secret mission, and killing off everyone in the Pokemon Center would make sure that there were no witnesses to testify for what they did. They were searching for a specific Pokemon... and they found it in Chapter 4. Why were they looking for it? You'll know soon enough
Also... I only had the Treecko acknowledge one command. He acted on instict, just as the Sneasel did. Also, I have this strage idea in my head that All Pokemon can read the thought processes of their masters, and speaking would obviously be spontaneous thought processing, so the Pokemon would be able to understand it. I didn't explain that, since it would be really hard to fit that fact in there somewhere ._.

 

[Clockworkz]

Chapter Six will explain the Ralt's importance in part....
Prepare for trouble! *shot*


Chapter 6
The Information

There was a cough; then a gag, followed by heavy, fast breathing. The last Rocket who had been dispatched at the hands of the Sneasel was still alive. Shinji turned and looked at the frail man who lay upon the ground, who was smiling while blood oozed out of his mouth. Kazuma noticed him as well, and moved his arm in front of her, as if to protect her, as his face grew stern. Though he admired the man’s strength, Shinji still hated him for what he was, and on his way over to him, he told his Sneasel to stay behind. He picked up a pistol that was lying near one of the Rockets’ hands, and gripped it, as he made his way to him. Aiming the gun squarely at his head, Shinji ordered the dying man.

“I think it’s time for some answers, pal. What the hell were you doing here?” Shinji demanded with a bit of anger in his voice. The Rocket only chuckled to himself, but that only irritated Shinji, and he cocked the gun, making Kazuma’s ears ring. The very sound of a gun was heart-wrenching, and to see his best friend aim at someone’s head was even more of a mind job.


“Now!” he said, quivering with fury. Shinji wasn’t playing games; he was dead serious, and wasn’t afraid to pull that trigger, and end the grunt’s miserable life. The man coughed, and spat up some blood.

“That bitch’s Ralts… It has incredible potential… Project Armageddon…. He will be our… pride and joy…” He giggled a bit, and turned his head to the side, looking away from Shinji. “You won’t stand a chance against us… with that kid on our side…” Shinji stammered, and looked inherently confused at his hostage’s words.

“What is Project Armageddon? Tell me!” The guard turned his eyes toward him, and with his last ounce of strength, he spoke again, for the last time.

“Hu… mans… and… Pokemon… Gene splicing… One body… infinite… power…” His words were so broken that Shinji could barely make them out.

“What? What are you saying?” Speak to me!” Shinji pleaded, but it was to no avail. The Rocket finally died, and his eyes glassed over, while he still kept his insidious grin on his cold face. Lowering his gun, Shinji backed away, and looked at the piece in his hand, then pocketed it.

Kazuma looked up at his friend, and asked him, “What did he say?” Shinji looked around, and wrinkled his nose at the scent of the blood and gunpowder in the air.

Finally, he told Kazuma, “He said something about a ‘Project Armageddon’, involving Pokemon, humans, gene splicing, and ‘one body’, and how that Gardevoir’s child would be a good candidate for it. What can you make out of that?”


Kazuma sighed, and bit his finger, as the possibilities and thoughts of the cryptic information raced through his mind. “I have an idea, but it’s still kinda vague. I think he means, fusing Pokemon genes and Human genes into one body. And if that’s the case, there could be a mess of trouble on our plates if it comes to fruition.” Shinji nodded, and looked at the Sneasel. It was in distress, shaking from all the horrible events that occurred, and its master decided to call it back into its ball. He then diverted his attention to the injured Gardevoir, who looked back at him. With curiosity, she reached out to Shinji, and spoke to him.

“Who are you? What do you want?” Shinji, like Kazuma, was a bit surprised that the Pokemon could speak, but once he noticed her lips weren’t moving, he stopped looking around in mystification.

“I’m Shinji Kourata, a friend of Kazuma’s. We ain’t gonna hurt you; in fact, you look like you need a little help there.” He smiled, hoping that a bit of an armistice could be settled between him and Pokemon, since it was apparent in her expression that her trust in him was limited, to say the least. She nodded, indifferently, and turned her attention to Kazuma.

“You told me... that you’d protect me and keep me safe. Is what you say true?” she asked in earnest, while her eyes pleaded for his words to be absolute; Kazuma nodded.

“I swear it. I will protect you.” Shinji watched him pledge himself to this Gardevoir, and interjected.

“Hold up there, lightning. Sorry to break your bubble, but keep in mind that we have no room on our bikes to take her. And the nearest Pokemon Center is now miles away.” Kazuma just looked at him with an air of exasperation. “You know how to drive, right?” Kazuma sighed. Shinji looked around, agitated, answered him curtly him, “Yeah, but I don’t see what that has to do with anything-“ He was cut off with Kazuma pointing past him, to the black van parked near the woods in the clearing.

“We’ll use that.” Shinji gazed over curiously, looking at the vehicle. With disdain, and unenthusiastic agreement, he shrugged.

“Fine; whatever. We’re loading up the weapons, though. It’ll be more effective than just relying on our Pokemon.” With that, Shinji yawned, and stretched his arms. He got little sleep while hunting for the Treecko the previous night, so needless to say that ‘tired’ was an understatement.

Kazuma stared at him. “You alright to drive? You seem sleepy.” Perking up a little, Shinji reassured him, “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll drive; don’t worry.”

Kazuma smiled, with decisiveness in his eyes. “Alright, then. Let’s go.” He gave another look to the Gardevoir. “Can you stand? We need to keep moving.” The Pokemon nodded faintly, and tried to stand, but it was to no advantage. She fell back down to her knees, grimacing, and almost all her strength left her. Kazuma looked concerned, and decided to pick her up. She was surprisingly light, and seemed surprised to see her new friend and protector carry her to the van.

“Th-thank you,” she communicated to him, with a bit more liveliness in her thoughts, as Shinji opened the doors to the back of the van. It was empty inside; all of the equipment must have either been on the Rockets, or transferred to the other van before it left. Kazuma clambered into the back, and laid the Gardevoir down inside, then jumped out, and ran to his bike. After walking it over, he opened the backpack on the handlebar, and took out several blankets, and folded them neatly by his new partner, and told her to rest.

She shifted her body onto the soft, down comforter, and felt a sense of pride; of duty; almost of love for this man who risked his life for her. The kind of love a mother has for a child.

Shinji returned to the van, with several machine guns in his hands, and Kazuma opened up a built in compartment near the rear of the truck which was conveniently large enough to hold a large amount of weapons like that. He watched his friend load up the compartment, while he put the bikes in the back, as well as the backpacks.

Kazuma sighed, shaking his head. “I still don’t think it’s a good idea to be riding around in a big black van with illegal weapons in the back.”

Shinji looked over to him as he slammed the compartment shut. “Quit worrying! We’ll be fine, just so long as their cronies don’t decide to pick us up.” Shinji laughed, and held up a large, black handled key in his left hand. “I picked this off our loose lipped friend back there. I doubt he’ll be needing it.”

Kazuma nodded in agreement, and climbed into the back with the Gardevoir. “I’ll stay in here, alright? There’s a panel behind the front seat that I can move to talk with you, so don’t worry about me.” The front door clicked open, and Shinji stepped inside the vehicle.

He rapped on the back panel behind him. “Wasn’t planning on it, bro!” he said with a laugh, and he made Kazuma smile slightly, while he turned the key in the ignition and revved the engine. The big van roared to life, and shuddered. “Now, there’s only one path big enough for a van this big to get though. Looks like that’s the way!” With a lurch, the big transport moved forward onto the path, and hopefully to their desired destination.

 

[Clockworkz]

Yes, I am bumping my own thread, and double posting. I'm working really hard on this story, and I'd appreciate it if I got at least a *little* more attention. Thanks.
Still working vigorously on chapter 7...

 

[Tale]

Woot! I'm loving this more and more, the further it progresses.

I don't know if you've seen the Lord of the Rings Trilogy (if not - I reccomend doing so =P) but the scene with the dying rocket strongly reminded me of the scene just after the fight with the Warg scouts took place on the journey to Helms Deep, where Legolas forced info from a dying orc/goblin whatever, who told him Strider took a 'tumble off the cliff'. Especially the dying with a chuckle. Could that scene have been inspired by the one I'm talking of?

Anyways, back to the story at hand, sorry I haven't reviewed in ages, I've been very busy with many other stuff - and a few more fics have taken a place on my review list, so I'm reviewing elsewhere as well >.>. Anyway, here I am.

I'm beginning to worry, Clockworkz, about the rating for this fic. 13 years and higher is a useful rating for reviews, not too old, but with the...intensity of described scenes in this fic, I think you should consider raising it a bit. The use of the word '*****' has become pretty frequent, and that Sneasel bit (which was just plain AWESOME by the way) was pretty gory =P.

But dont let one review change your mind, I mean, if you get more complaints, then I'd reccomend considering it.

Anyway, fantastic chapters there Clockworkz, without a shadow of a doubt. The plot is really rocketing (heh...Rocketing...>.>) and its just jam packed full of action. You've planned things out so well, and its still keeping me hooked.

Again, Im struggling to find flaws.

Oh yeah, however, there is one thing that I'm really, really hoping for. I'd be so damn dissapointed if Sneasel's experiences didn't take an effeect on his future personality, making him darker or whatever, or just plain malicious. Sure, Shinji is reassuring and comforting him, but I really think killing a living being must really have an effect on the Pokemon's personality and attitude. Maybe you have this planned, I dont know, but I just thought I'd point that certain desire of mine out =P.

Great blooming job, Clockworkz, I eagerly await chapter seven. Oh, and I also wish you luck on further reviews...at least you can call this one a useful bump though eh ;D.