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Tell a joke, die laughing -- New and improved!

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Polls' started by Steampunk, Oct 27, 2012.

  1. Steampunk

    Steampunk One Truth Prevails

    you tell a joke
    tell people if u liked their jokes
    die laughing.

    ok i'll start with a joke.

    what do you call a guy with no arms or legs, hanging on a wall..

    (please keep jokes told funny, the last thread got shut down partly due to people just posting numbers as jokes)
  2. Chapter

    Chapter hello, im back sorta

    If a man is skydiving, and his parachute doesn't work, what do you call him?
    A: A hospital. This is gunna be oooooonnnneeee big mess.
  3. Scaldaver

    Scaldaver Limitless

    A man goes into a hospital, and his Doctor says to him:
    "Well, I've got good news and bad news."
    "What's the good news, doc?" the patient asks, worried.
    "Well, you have 24 hours to live."
    "WHAT‽" screamed the patient, "HOW COULD THE BAD NEWS BE ANY WORSE‽"
    "Well," his Doctor said uneasily, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

    (P.S, Long live the interrobang!)
  4. Syrus

    Syrus Praise the Sun!

    The game.

    You just lost it.

    Nah I kid, okay here goes, bit short though.

    So I'm on a Whisky diet; I've lost three days already.
  5. Hilda

    Hilda Well-Known Member

    A man goes into a hospital, and his Doctor says to him:
    "Well, I've got good news and bad news."
    "What's the bad news, doc?" the patient asks, worried.
    "Well, you have 24 hours to live."
    "WHAT‽" screamed the patient, "What's the good news then".
    "The good news is that I have no other bad news" replied the doctor.
  6. Scaldaver

    Scaldaver Limitless

    I feel my joke has been mutilated. I must do another!

    One upon a time there was a purple Kingdom in a purple land where a purple pauper loved the purple princess in the purple palace. The purple princess in the purple palace also loved the purple pauper and they devised a plan: at night the purple princess stole from her purple room, down the purple hallways down the purple steps out of the purple palace and into a purple carriage the purple pauper was leading. The purple guards noticed and took the purple pauper, leading him through the purple yard, in the purple palace, down purple steps, through purple corridors, into the purple dungeons, where the purple guard unlocked with the purple key, shoved him in, and said:


    Yeah, not one of my best...
  7. Steampunk

    Steampunk One Truth Prevails

    Ok kries reopened it :D

    what do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves?
    Lass Brooke likes this.
  8. TeamRocketGrunt

    TeamRocketGrunt WobbWobbWobb Wobrudo

    Who's that Pokemon?

    Ash: ....I thought you knew! DX
    Lass Brooke likes this.
  9. tyranitarenthusiast

    tyranitarenthusiast Well-Known Member

    finds shiny graveler...

    ...graveler used self destruct
  10. TeamRocketGrunt

    TeamRocketGrunt WobbWobbWobb Wobrudo

    How does Kiku Honda think?
  11. Steampunk

    Steampunk One Truth Prevails

    what is brown and smells like bananas?

    monkey crap XD
  12. Xyllerion

    Xyllerion I like bacon!


    How do you kill a hipster?

    By drowning him in the MAINSTREAM!
    Lass Brooke likes this.
  13. Todoserugi

    Todoserugi Never Forget

    whats white and can't climb a tree?
    a refrigerator
    Lass Brooke likes this.
  14. The Admiral

    The Admiral solid state survivor

    I'm not sure I like the prospect of dying after saying something, but here goes.

    Two men walk into a bar. Ouch.

    Two crows walk into a bar. They look at each other and nod. One of them pulls out a crowbar and attempts to hit the bartender with it, clearly intending to kill! Unfortunately, he misses by a significant margin. The bartender, also a crow, applauds the two gentlemen. As it turns out, the bartender was once an English teacher. He found a lot of amusement in the double meanings of
    crow bar
    attempted murder.
  15. Rezzo

    Rezzo Your milk will go cold on you

    Two Irish blokes walk out of a bar.
  16. SkinnySweatyMan

    SkinnySweatyMan Well-Known Member

    What do you call bread made by a duck? Iced tea.
  17. VS

    VS ♡.♡

    What do you get when you play country music backwards?
    You get your money back and your wife back.

    What do you call a mixture between an elephant and a rhino?
    Elephino (Hell if I know)
  18. Klizcool

    Klizcool GARBAGE DAY?!?!

    What's green, has four legs, and can kill you if it falls from a tree?

    A pool table

    This is so funny! It has been done.
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2012
  19. TeamRocketGrunt

    TeamRocketGrunt WobbWobbWobb Wobrudo

    What is it called when someone from England gets pantsed?
    London bridges falling down!
  20. Phoopes

    Phoopes There it is.

    Hey, you know what's even funnier than 24?

    Joke: Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a-salted.

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