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The Adventure of Adventureness

#1TransendTrainer

PANDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Oooooo. The return of Dean. The gym battle was hilarious
 

gmoyes

Nerd and Proud of it
Finally finished reading all of that. ROFLMAO. I can just imagine other wierd referances. (pictures jack and roy going around wearing red and green collecting paras and sunflora then they meet up with a groudon named bowser. lol) I wonder what would happen if miror b. stood on his head and disappeared into his afro? and could you add me to your pm list?
 

Fire Angel

Crazy Person
Well, I've been stalking -- I mean following this story for quite some time, but now I've finally decided to come out and review. I really love this story and all of the random (of randomness) humor. Jack has an interesting way of doing things, especially now that they remembered that they need to save the narrator.

Now, for this chapter itself... It didn't seem quite as funny to me as some of the others, but Jack's way of handling the Gym battle was pretty funny.

As Miror B. stuffed his bicycles back into his afro,

The afro of unlimited storage. Traveling with Miror B. must be fun. He's got everything you could possibly need for anything in there.

"Rayquaza," said Jack sternly, "What have I told you about causing wanton destruction in populated areas?"

While wanton destruction to populated areas is bad, Rayquaza could handle Team Rocket rather easily. Just blow them all up!

Also, it's good that Jack had the Pokedex change the chapter title, because this chapter had nothing to do with the Cycling Road. Even if they hadn't missed narrating it because of arguing about said chapter title, riding on bikes down a hill is not important in the scheme of things.

Anyway, I'll be eagerly waiting for the next chapter! (More Team Rocket. That's going to be interesting...)
 

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
I wonder what would happen if miror b. stood on his head and disappeared into his afro? and could you add me to your pm list?
Consider yourself added. As for the afro thing, you may have given me an idea...

This was a hilarious chapter! Hooray for the return of Dean! May I be put on the PM List?
You're added.

Now, for this chapter itself... It didn't seem quite as funny to me as some of the others, but Jack's way of handling the Gym battle was pretty funny.
Thanks. Sometimes when ideas for this fic come to me, some of them make me laugh out loud. What Jack did to win against Koga, that was one of those.

The afro of unlimited storage. Traveling with Miror B. must be fun. He's got everything you could possibly need for anything in there.
Well, not everything. He doesn't have the last three badges in there.


...Or does he?

Also, it's good that Jack had the Pokedex change the chapter title, because this chapter had nothing to do with the Cycling Road. Even if they hadn't missed narrating it because of arguing about said chapter title, riding on bikes down a hill is not important in the scheme of things.
The Pokedex has its off days.

Anyway, I'll be eagerly waiting for the next chapter! (More Team Rocket. That's going to be interesting...)
Don't forget who else you bump into in Silph Co....
 

UltimatePokemonExpert

Experienced Trainer
When is the next chapter coming up?
 

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
Chapter 30: Bad Guys, Badly Named Rivals, And Even Worse Chapter Titles- Oh My!
--------------
The trio looked up at the eleven-story skyscraper before them. "Eh," said Jack dismissively, "The Dot Com Building was bigger. Let's get moving."

"Look at that!" whispered Miror B. Jack looked to his right, and saw a Team Rocket Grunt sitting down, snoring loudly, the remnants of a nine-chapter-old cheese pizza all around him.

"Well," chuckled Jack, "So much for Mr. Physic's pizza."

"THAT'S MR. PSYCHIC!" came a roar from a house on the next street. Jack tensed up, but the snoozing, gluttonous grunt did not awaken. Jack then walked through the doorway as the automatic glass sliding doors of Silph Co. slid to the sides to allow him to pass. Roy and Miror B. followed suit.

The first floor of Silph Co. was completely devoid of human life other than the three people who just walked in. It was a large, open room, with wood paneling on the walls, and a tiled floor. In the middle of the room stood a massive fountain bearing a large stone carving of the letter "S". Jack supposed that this was the logo of Silph Co.

"There's a staircase and an elevator," said Miror B., pointing to the back wall. Jack nodded, then led his friends towards aforementioned location.

"What do you think?" asked Jack.

"I think we should choose between the stairs or the elevator," replied Roy.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Well, DUH! But which one should we choose?"

"One of these," said Miror B.

"Don't make me go all 'JACK PAWNCH' on you," warned Jack.

"Hey," said Roy. "Violence won't help us."

"Shut up," snapped Jack. "You're next."

"Shut up, the three of you," came a gravelly voice from behind Jack. Aforementioned protagonist wheeled around, and sure enough, there hovered Dean.

"Not you again," groaned Roy.

"And where were you?" asked Jack, ignoring Roy's complaints.

"I had my own role to play in this," replied Dean mysteriously. "Trust me, well worth the effort. Take this."

"Take what?" Jack asked, a second before realizing that a rectangular piece of plastic had appeared in his hand.

"That," replied Dean as Jack examined the object apparently given to him by the bad egg. "It's a Card Key. The ten floors above us are like a friggin' maze, and are riddled with electronically locked doors. It would've been hell for all of you, and by the time you had actually gotten ahold of one of these, the whole of Saffron City would've been under the complete control of Team Rocket."

"How did you get that?" inquired Miror B.

"Swiped it off a grunt upstairs. Well, after I gassed him into unconsciousness, that is," answered Dean, chuckling a bit. "Perks of being a Bad Egg."

Jack chuckled.

"Yeah," continued Dean, "it was pretty easy. Warped around the building until I could find a grunt I was sure held a Card Key. Tailed him to a deserted corridor, then let him have it. The fool thought I was one of his coworkers at first, offered me a Tic-Tac."

"OK, this makes things easy!" declared Jack, as he began to climb the staircase.

"And which way are you going, Jack?" inquired Dean. Jack froze on the third step, then backed his way down to the bottom.

"Fine, how do we get to Giovanni?" demanded Jack.

"Third floor. After you get off the staircase, go straight, then open the first electronically locked door to your right. Open the next door, then step on the white floor tile with the red diamond. You'll find your way easily from there."

"Wait," said Jack. "Why not just warp us to Giovanni?"

"Arceus, no," shuddered Dean. "Boss Rocket's got it out for me. Appearing in front of his face, that could get me killed."

"And what's the downside again?" asked Roy. Miror B. chuckled. Dean glared at the two of them.

"Look, boy," growled Dean, "I know you don't trust me, and let's face it, Bad Eggs don't exactly get good press. Might have something to do with the name, I dunno. But I'm your ally, you can count on that. We all want the same thing; Team Rocket brought down."

Roy opened his mouth to retort, but Dean had already vanished.

"Well then," said Jack, "Let's get going." With that, the trio made their way up the stairs to the second floor. Once they got there, Jack looked around, and found another staircase to his left. Gesturing to Roy and Miror B., Jack led them up that staircase, and onto the third floor. There he saw a corridor directly in front of them. The trio started walking, when suddenly...

"Halt! Intruders!"

Jack looked to his left for the source of the noise, and found it almost immediately; A Team Rocket grunt, Poké Ball in his right hand.

"You want to go any further, you're gonna have to go through me!" stated the grunt. Jack took out his Pokédex, and in a matter of seconds, rearranged his team. Then he took a Poké Ball off his belt, and held it out.

"Don't tempt me," said Jack. "I really don't have the time to deal with the likes of you."

"O-ho!" chuckled the grunt. "You'll deal with me?! That's a good one, a twerp like you dealing with a grown man like me!"

"Listen," said Roy, "If you value your internal organs and ability to function at all, don't anger this guy."

"Ooooh, I'm so scared," replied the grunt in a mocking voice, while obviously fighting off the urge to laugh. Jack said nothing. He merely minimized the Poké Ball and placed it back onto his belt.

"You see?" cackled the grunt. "Only a fool would dare mess with a member of Team Ro-"

"JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNCH!" roared Jack, as his fist connected with the grunt's gut. The trio observed the unfortunate Team Rocket grunt crash through multiple walls before falling onto the roof of what appeared to be Mr. Psybeam's house.

These suspicions were quickly confirmed, as an all-caps scream of "THAT'S MR. PSYCHIC!!!" resonated throughout Silph Co. Jack smirked as he turned to his right, and saw a large rectangular door of steel barring the trio's way. On the wall to the right of the door was a small slot. Jack inserted the Card Key into this slot, and immediately, the door slid into the wall to the left, exposing a small room. At the other end of the nondescript room was another steel door. Jack repeated the action with the new door, and once again, the door slid into the wall. Jack led his friends into the new room, in which was nothing but a flimsy plastic table, and on the floor, a single white floor tile, decorated with a red diamond.

"Now why would any sane person tell us to step on this thing?" demanded Roy.

"Maybe it opens a trapdoor?" suggested Jack. He took a breath, and stepped on the tile.

The effect was immediate. The room began spinning- no, check that, Jack began spinning, with increasing rapidity. Then, Jack saw a bright flash of white light, and stopped spinning. He barely had time to register the fact that he was in a different room before barfing all over the floor.

It took a moment for Jack to recover, at which point he decided to look around the new room. There was a wooden table, a few bookshelves, a scared looking scientist holding a Poké Ball in his hand, and his rival Cheeseball, covered in barf, staring angrily at Jack- wait, what?!"

"You know," said Jack, "It's kind of bad form to be thrown like that when you're narrating- wait, what?! Cheeseball!"

"Hello, Jack," hissed Cheeseball, his hair dripping with vomit. Jack found himself fighting the urge to laugh.

Behind Jack, Roy and Miror B. appeared, both of them looking rather green in the faces.

"Never, ever again," groaned Miror B. "I think I'm going to be sick..." Then he saw Cheeseball. "Oh, and who is this?"

"This is Cheeseball," said Jack. "Cheeseball, meet Miror B."

"My name is not Cheeseball, and what the hell is up with that afro?!"

"Don't mock my 'fro," warned Miror B.

"Anyway," said Cheeseball, "I saw you in Saffron, I wanted a rematch, so here I am."

"Yeah, worst timing ever," said Jack. "In case you haven't noticed, Team Rocket's taken over this entire building."

"Not caring," replied Cheeseball. "We battle. NOW."

"Fine," sighed Jack, throwing a Poké Ball. "Diglett, let's get this over with."

In a flash of light, Jack's Diglett materialized on the tiled floor before them. Oddly, a ring of upturned dirt still surrounded it. And it still appeared to be underground, despite being in a building."

"OK..." said Jack, evidentially weirded out by this. Meanwhile, Cheeseball threw a Poké Ball of his own.

"Pidgeot, I choose you!" called Cheeseball, as the ball burst open to reveal what looked like a larger version of Pidgeotto, and one that needed a haircut ten times as badly.

"Pidgeot, the Bird Pokémon, and the evolved form of Pidgeotto," said Jack's Pokédex. "Pidgeot can fly at speeds up to Mach 2. Its shiny plumage makes it popular with many people."

"Diglett," called Jack, "Scratch attack!"

"Scratch?" snorted Cheeseball. "With what?" However, at that moment, he found out exactly with what, as Diglett's elongated, pointed, glowing nose swiped Pidgeot.

"Now use Fury Swipes!" called Jack.

"Dig dig dig dig dig!" chanted Diglett, as it spun towards Pidgeot.

"Pidgeot, fight back!" ordered Cheeseball. "Use Gust!"

"Pidgooooo!" cawed Pidgeot, as it flapped its impressive wings, causing a windstorm to whip up. Diglett found it increasingly difficult to proceed forward.

"Come on, Diglett!" called Jack. "Rock Slide now!"

Diglett stopped spinning, and its nose regained its usual shape, albeit still glowing. Then, numerous pebbles flew out of Diglett's nose, and grew into boulders before crashing into Pidgeot, pinning its now-unconscious form to the floor. Cheeseball scowled as he withdrew Pidgeot, then threw another Poké Ball. "Alakazam, do it!"

In a flash of light, a bright yellow Pokémon appeared. It resembled a Kadabra, but its mustache was more impressive, its tail was absent, and it held a second spoon in its left hand.

"Alakazam, the Psi Pokémon, and the evolved form of Kadabra," said Jack's Pokédex. "Alakazam possesses an IQ of 5,000, but has almost nonexistant physical strength. It relies on its telekinetic powers even to just hold its head up."

Diglett stood... sat... whatever it does, nobody knows what it even looks like underground... Anyway, Diglett remained in place, staring at its new foe as Jack glanced at its Pokédex for its momentary lapse in good narration. Then, Diglett began to glow! Jack, Miror B., Roy, Cheeseball, and that random scientist looked on in awe as Diglett appeared to split itself into three. As the glow faded, Diglett appeared to have not changed, but was now joined by two other Diglett.

"Dugtrio, the Mole Pokémon, and the evolved form of Diglett," said Jack's Pokédex. "Dugtrio burrows up to sixty feet underground, and often triggers earthquakes. Each head knows what the other is thinking."

"That's not going to save you!" declared Cheeseball. "Alakazam! Psybeam!"

"THAT'S MR. PSYCHI- OH. YOU WEREN'T REFERRING TO ME. OK, SORRY! SORRY! CONTINUE!" screamed Mr. Psychic in all caps.

Alakazam crossed its two spoons, and a rainbow-colored beam of energy exploded forth.

"Dugtrio, dodge it and use Fury Swipes!" ordered Jack.

"Trio trio trio!" chanted Dugtrio, as it swerved to the left, evading the Psybeam. Then, all three noses glowed, lengthened, and became pointy. Dugtrio then dashed towards Alakazam, shuffling its heads around so each head's nose got a turn to swipe at the Psi Pokémon.

"Alakazam, now use Iron Tail!" ordered Cheeseball.

"Wait, what?" demanded Jack. "It doesn't have a tail!" At that moment, however, what appeared to be a glowing version of a Kadabra's tail exploded forth from Alakazam's buttocks, accompanied by a decidedly flatulent noise. Alakazam then spun around, and the Iron Tail collided with Dugtrio. It couldn't get a Fury Swipe in as the tail struck all three heads, sending the whole Dugtrio backwards, where the three heads flopped over at the feet of Jack.

Jack withdrew Dugtrio as Alakazam's tail vanished, then took out another Poké Ball and threw it. In a flash of light, Golbat appeared.

"Oh, no," said Cheeseball, holding out Alakazam's Poké Ball. "Not this time! Alakazam, retu-"

"Use Mean Look!" commanded Jack. Golbat's eyes glowed black, and a black aura surrounded Alakazam's body. The red beam from the Poké Ball struck Alakazam, but had no effect whatsoever.

"Now hit it with a Confuse Ray!" cackled Jack. Golbat happily obliged, sending an orb of light flying towards Alakazam. Cheeseball opened his mouth to order Alakazam to use Protect, but too late; Alakazam was already teetering around, playing a drum solo on its head using its spoons. For a confused Pokémon, it was keeping a surprisingly catchy beat; Miror B. began dancing around.

"Oh, COME ON!" roared Cheeseball. "Alakazam, use Psychic!"

"Zam... Ala..." mumbled Alakazam, as it somehow managed to tangle its spoons into its mustache.

"Finish it," grinned Jack. "Leech Life attack."

Golbat swooped down onto Alakazam, and clamped its glowing green fangs onto its back. Within seconds, Alakazam slumped to the ground, unconscious. Scowling, Cheeseball withdrew Alakazam, and sent out his Growlithe.

"Growlithe, Flamethrower!" ordered Cheeseball.

"Golbat, Quick Attack!" commanded Jack.

Golbat streaked down towards Growlithe, cutting straight through the stream of fire emanating from the Puppy Pokémon's mouth. In the next instant, Golbat smashed into Growlithe, sending it rolling backwards, where it crashed into Cheeseball and slipped into unconsciousness. Jack began to grin in a gloating manner, but then saw that Golbat had apparently taken sufficient damage from the Flamethrower to be knocked out as well. Simultaneously the rivals withdrew their Pokémon, then threw new Poké Balls. As the flashes of light faded, Jack's Arbok stood ready against Cheeseball's Exeggcute.

"Exeggcute, now! Confusion attack!" called Cheeseball.

"Arbok, Gunk Shot!" ordered Jack.

A light blue orb of energy formed in the middle of the Exeggcute cluster. From the orb was launched a wave of psychic energy. Arbok, meanwhile, launched a glowing purple orb from its gaping maw. The attacks collided, and an explosion ensued. As the smoke cleared, all seven Pokémon (assuming one were to count each individual Exeggcute as a separate Pokémon) were unconscious.

"Geez," said Jack as he and Cheeseball withdrew their Pokémon yet again. "Colliding attacks, big explosion, double KO. Cliche much?"

"I agree," said Cheeseball, as he threw another Poké Ball. "Blastoise, it's go time!"

In a flash of light, a massive blue Pokémon with a large brown shell appeared. Its blue arms and legs stuck out of the shell, as did a small blue tail, but what stood out the most to Jack was a pair of steel cannons sticking out of the back of the shell. "Blastoise," the Pokémon rumbled.

"Blastoise, the Shellfish Pokémon, and the evolved form of Wartortle," said Jack's Pokédex. "Blastoise launches powerful Water attacks from its cannons. Water fired from these cannons can accurately strike a target up to fifty feet away."

Jack threw his own Poké Ball. "Weezing, I choose you! Go!"

Cheeseball groaned and ducked down as Jack's Weezing materialized in a flash of light. Upon spotting Cheeseball, Weezing took a pair of deep breaths, preparing to launch a Sludge attack, then noticed that Cheeseball's hair was dripping with Jack's barf.

Weezing began laughing uncontrollably, shaking around in midair. Cheeseball stopped cowering as he noticed that Weezing was too preoccupied to battle- or more importantly, to Sludge-ify his hair again.

"Blastoise, use Flash Cannon!" Cheeseball ordered.

"Blastoise," rumbled Blastoise as twin glowing orbs formed, one in each cannon.

"Snap out of it, Weezing! Thunderbolt attack!" ordered Jack. Weezing quickly composed itself, and launched a sizzling bolt of electricity at the Shellfish Pokémon. Blastoise was caught off-guard, and the Flash Cannon misfired, missing Weezing completely, though succeeding in reducing one of the bookcases to rubble.

"Now use Sludge!" called Jack. Weezing launched twin streams of rancid black gunk from its mouths. The Sludge ricocheted off of Blastoise's shell, made an arc in midair, and landed squarely on Cheeseball's hair.

Wordlessly, Cheesball, whose hair was now dripping with Weezing's Sludge in addition to Jack's vomit, withdrew Blastoise and walked towards the warp tile with as much dignity as he could muster. Which, in Jack's opinion, was not much. As he stepped on the tile, he spun around violently, causing globs of puke and sludge to fly off his hair and strike the walls. As Cheeseball finally vanished, Jack withdrew Weezing and nonchalantly brushed a glob of his own puke off of his shirt.

"Well, that was messy," said Miror B., as he proceeded to close up a large umbrella and shove it back into his afro.

"No kidding," said Jack. "Come on, let's get going."

"Hey," said the scientist previously mentioned in the narration. "You're not with Team Rocket, are you?"

"I'm insulted," said Jack. "To think that I, a person with an IQ that goes beyond the single digits and Pokémon that can actually fight, would be a part of Team Rocket."

"Well, you came to save us, right?"

"That we did," confirmed Jack.

"Oh, good. Then can you take care of this Pokémon?" said the scientist, holding out the Poké Ball.

"What is it?" asked Jack.

"It's a Lapras, a very intelligent Poké-"

"A Lapras, you say?" interrupted Roy. "That's so cool! Can I have it? Please?" The scientist glanced at Roy, then looked back at Jack.

"It's alright with me," said Jack, shrugging. The scientist handed the Poké Ball to Roy, who happily clipped it to his belt. Jack then took a deep breath, and stepped on the warp tile. Immediately, the nausea-inducing spinning occurred, followed by a burst of white light, and Jack found himself in a new corridor. Roy and Miror B. came in after him, both of them also fighting off the urge to barf. Jack saw that the corridor went straight for some distance, then turned left. Gesturing for the others to follow him, Jack made his way down the hallway and turned left, only to spot an all-too familiar trio before him.

"Aw, crap," moaned Jack at the sight of Jessie, James, and Meowth.
--------------
End of Chapter 30.

*Jack obtains a Card Key.
*Cheeseball's Pidgeotto, Kadabra, and Wartortle are revealed to have evolved into Pidgeot, Alakazam, and Blastoise.
*Jack's Diglett evolves into Dugtrio.
*Cheeseball's Alakazam is revealed to know Iron Tail.
*Cheeseball's Blastoise is revealed to know Flash Cannon.
*Roy obtains a Lapras.
 
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Fire Angel

Crazy Person
Chapter 30: Bad Guys, Badly Named Rivals, And Even Worse Chapter Titles- Oh My!

Awesome! A new chapter!

...I really shouldn't be reviewing this now. It's midnight, my time. Oh well. It's a Cheeseball chapter, among other things, so I've gotta comment now. Cheeseball always reminds me of how I named my rival in FireRed "Idiot."

"JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNCH!"

Jack has a... most elegant way of dealing with things. Who needs Pokemon when you can just punch people through walls and solve your problems that way?

"Hello, Jack," hissed Cheeseball, his hair dripping with vomit. Jack found him self fighting the urge to laugh.

That's... not a pleasant picture. (In fact, that whole sequence was kind of disgusting to really think about, with Cheeseball ending up covered in barf and sludge. Poor guy.) Also, I think that "him self" should just be one word there. Kind of nit-picky, but...

"Yeah, worst timing ever," said Jack. "In case you haven't noticed, Team Rocket's taken over this entire building."

Yeah, apparently Cheeseball cares nothing about Team Rocket taking over the city, so long as he gets a rematch. I can see I'm not the only one who's wondered about that.


Oh, yay, Jessie, James and Meowth. What fun the next chapter will be, too.

Anyway, nice job with this chapter, even if there was a bit too much puke for my liking XD (icky pictures in my head...). Can't wait for the next chapter!
 

gmoyes

Nerd and Proud of it
again, lol. first of all:
Consider yourself added. As for the afro thing, you may have given me an idea...
Uh oh...
I knew Roy would get lapras. because:
1. The personality would clash with Jack's.
2. Jack has just what he needs with Garados
3. Miror B. doesn't have any pokemon that isn't in the lotad line or has an afro.
Keep up the great work and i cant wait for the next.
 
Chapter 30: Bad Guys, Badly Named Rivals, And Even Worse Chapter Titles- Oh My!

Ah, finally a decent chapter title.:D

"Now use Sludge!" called Jack. Weezing launched twin streams of rancid black gunk from its mouths. The Sludge ricocheted off of Blastoise's shell, made an arc in midair, and landed squarely on Cheeseball's hair.

Wordlessly, Cheesball, whose hair was now dripping with Weezing's Sludge in addition to Jack's vomit, withdrew Blastoise and walked towards the warp tile with as much dignity as he could muster. Which, in Jack's opinion, was not much. As he stepped on the tile, he spun around violently, causing globs of puke and sludge to fly off his hair and strike the walls. As Cheeseball finally vanished, Jack withdrew Weezing and nonchalantly brushed a glob of his own puke off of his shirt.

"Well, that was messy," said Miror B., as he proceeded to close up a large umbrella and shove it back into his afro.

I almost feel sorry for Cheeseball. Almost.

"JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNCH!" roared Jack, as his fist connected with the grunt's gut. The trio observed the unfortunate Team Rocket grunt crash through multiple walls before falling onto the roof of what appeared to be Mr. Psybeam's house.

I thought 'JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNCH!' wouldn't make it into the chapter for once. How very wrong I was.

Are you just going to include the moron trio (I don't mean you Jack, Roy, and Miror B.) in every chapter that involves team rocket? I mean, I don't have any problems with it but still. Anyway this chapter gets a five out of five from me, great chapter MM.

-Resident evil ;448;
 

ninetails012

teh wild card
yay chapter 30 yippie!
"Yeah," continued Dean, "it was pretty easy. Warped around the building until I could find a grunt I was sure held a Card Key. Tailed him to a deserted corridor, then let him have it. The fool thought I was one of his coworkers at first, offered me a Tic-Tac."
with deans bad breath i think he would have needed it
"JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNCH!" roared Jack, as his fist connected with the grunt's gut. The trio observed the unfortunate Team Rocket grunt crash through multiple walls before falling onto the roof of what appeared to be Mr. Psybeam's house.
ouch, thats about 4 grunts since i started counting :)
It took a moment for Jack to recover, at which point he decided to look around the new room. There was a wooden table, a few bookshelves, a scared looking scientist holding a Poké Ball in his hand, and his rival Cheeseball, covered in barf, staring angrily at Jack- wait, what?!"
"Now use Sludge!" called Jack. Weezing launched twin streams of rancid black gunk from its mouths. The Sludge ricocheted off of Blastoise's shell, made an arc in midair, and landed squarely on Cheeseball's hair.

Wordlessly, Cheesball, whose hair was now dripping with Weezing's Sludge in addition to Jack's vomit, withdrew Blastoise and walked towards the warp tile with as much dignity as he could muster. Which, in Jack's opinion, was not much. As he stepped on the tile, he spun around violently, causing globs of puke and sludge to fly off his hair and strike the walls. As Cheeseball finally vanished, Jack withdrew Weezing and nonchalantly brushed a glob of his own puke off of his shirt
double dose! by the way, did cheeseballs blastoise faint or did cheesball just walk out?
"Hey," said the scientist previously mentioned in the narration. "You're not with Team Rocket, are you?"

"I'm insulted," said Jack. "To think that I, a person with an IQ that goes beyond the single digits and Pokémon that can actually fight, would be a part of Team Rocket."
lol! can i put this in my sig?
"Aw, crap," moaned Jack at the sight of Jessie, James, and Meowth.
well i guess we'l have to prepare for trouble next chapter!
good chapter. id kinda like to here whats going on with Missingno. Master if that dosent mess with the story too much.
 
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Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
double dose! by the way, did cheeseballs blastoise faint or did cheesball just walk out?
Blastoise was still capable of battling, albeit only barely. Cheeseball forfeited the match to clean the barf and sludge out of his hair.

lol! can i put this in my sig?
Feel free! I love it when people quote my story in their sigs!

well i guess we'l have to prepare for trouble next chapter!
good chapter. id kinda like to here whats going on with Missingno. Master if that dosent mess with the story too much.

Actually, Team Rocket will be using a different motto this time.

As for me, I am in my office in the Cyber Town prison, spinning the Wheel Of Execution Methods, deciding on the best way to off the narrator.

The next chapter will be up tomorrow, if not tonight. Depends on how much free time I have today. The chapter's looking good so far.

EDIT: I had free time. Here you go!

Chapter 31: Blasting Off Again?
--------------
Before Jack, Roy, and Miror B. stood Jessie, James, and Meowth, as unwelcome as ever. However, Jack could not help but notice their new uniforms- these were black, like regulation Team Rocket grunt attire.

"You goofs again?" moaned Roy.

"'You goofs again?' is the question indeed," sneered Jessie.

"The answer to come as we feel the need!" added James.

"Bringing the blinding white light of evil into the future!" said Jessie.

"Thrusting the hammer of justice down onto the black darkness of the universe!" said James.

"And carving our names in the rock of eternity!" added Meowth.

"The fiery destroyer, Jessie!"

"And with thunderous emotion, I am James!"

"Wisest of the wise, Meowth!"

"Now gather! Under the name of Team Rocket!" finished the trio simultaneously.

"Wow," muttered Miror B. "New motto."

"New motto, new clothes, don't matter," said Jack dismissively. "Doesn't change the fact that you are all epic fail."

"Epic fail, you say?" sneered Jessie, as she produced a Poké Ball and enlarged it. In response, Jack and Roy readied Poké Balls off their belts, and Miror B. grabbed one from within his afro.

A few seconds of tense silence, then all four threw their Poké Balls simultaneously, while James commanded Meowth.

"Meowth, get in there!"

"Woobat, attack!"

"Cubone, it's go time!"

"Eevee! Go!"

"Lombre, destroy!"

Five flashes of light. Jack's Cubone, Roy's Eevee, and Miror B.'s Lombre stood facing Team Rocket. On the other end stood Meowth, claws extended in a threatening fashion. In front of Jessie, however, was what appeared to be a giant ball of lint with a pair of black wings. It had no visible eyes, but an open mouth containing a single fang. It also sported a round pink nose with a single heart-shaped nostril.

"Woobat, the Bat Pokémon," said Jack's Pokédex. "Woobat attaches its nose to cave walls at night before going to sleep. Heart-shaped imprints are left when Woobat takes off the next morning."

"Where did you get a Woobat?" inquired Miror B.

"The Unova region," replied Jessie. "We've been away on official Team Rocket business.

"The Unova region?" Miror B. thought to himself. "But that's impossible... I would've known..."

"Regarding Project G, no doubt?" asked Jack.

"...Project whobie what-y?" asked Jessie, James, and Meowth simultaneouly.

"You don't know?" demanded Jack, somewhat surprised. "Obviously your boss doesn't think you're reliable enough to be trusted with this kind of information."

"Shut it!" snarled Jessie. "Such an obvious attempt to cause confusion, making up fake projects."

"Very twerpish indeed," agreed James. "Meowth! Fury Swipes!"

"Thought you'd never ask!" stated Meowth, as he charged forward and prepared to start swiping at Cubone.

"Woobat, Air Slash!" commanded Jessie.

"Woobat bat!" screeched Woobat as it flapped its wings, causing vast quantities of what appeared to be circular saw blades made of air to fly towards Lombre.

"Cubone, Bone Club attack!" ordered Jack.

"Lombre, Hydro Pump!" sang Miror B.

"Eevee, hit Woobat with your Shadow Ball!" called Roy.

Cubone swung its bone at Meowth, making direct contact and sending Meowth flying into James's face. Lombre destroyed the Air Slash with a blast of water from its bill-esque mouth. Eevee fired off a sphere of ghostly energy, striking Woobat directly, and sending the flying fuzzball directly into Jessie's face. The impact of the Pokémon hitting their faces caused Jessie and James to topple over backwards. They climbed to their feet extraordinarily quickly, however. As Jessie withdrew her now-unconscious Woobat, James pulled a small, dark grey sphere out of his pocket and threw it down on the ground.

As the sphere hit the ground, the corridor was filled with dark smoke. Jack reached for Golbat's Poké Ball, but the smoke vanished as quickly as it came. As the last of the smoke vanished into an air duct, Jack saw that the trio had vanished.

"Arceus damn it," snapped Jack. "I wanted to send them blasting off, so I could yell 'HEY MORONS! YOU'RE BLASTING OFF AGAAAAIIN!'!"

"That is funny when you do that," chuckled Roy.

"Um, guys?" interrupted Miror B., as he pointed at a steel door to their left. "I think Giovanni is in this room here."

"What makes you say that?" asked Jack.

"This is just a guess," said Roy, "But I'm thinking maybe the sign someone hung on the door that reads 'Do not disturb! Boss Rocket is in here.' may have something to do with it."

"Oh, shut up," snapped Jack. He swiped the Card Key through the slot next to the door, and walked forward. He had been expecting it to open instantly, and was therefore unpleasantly surprised to smash face-first into the steel door.

"Ow," muttered Jack as he extracted his face from the cold steel. "What the hell?!"

"Try swiping it again," suggested Miror B. Jack swiped the Card Key through the slot once more. Nothing. The door remained shut.

"Giovanni must know we're coming," said Roy. "Maybe he reprogrammed this door so a Card Key wouldn't work."

"Well then," said Jack, rolling up his right sleeve and forming a fist, "That leaves us with one option. JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWNCH!!1!"

Jack's fist connected with the steel door, blasting it into the boardroom, where it slammed against the back wall and fell to the floor. Jack, Roy, and Miror B. then walked into the room. Around a table sat three people. There was a businessman, a secretary, and the third person was none other than Giovanni himself. At the sight of the three intruders, Giovanni smirked and rose from his seat.

"Ah, Jack! So good to see you and your friends again."

"Can't exactly say the same for you," replied Jack. "And how do you know my name? I don't believe I've told you."

"I have my ways," said Giovanni mysteriously. "But anyway, see, you've come at a most inconvenient time. The president and I are in the middle of a vital business discussion."

"If you call extortion and death threats a vital business discussion," added the businessman, who Jack reasoned must be the Silph Co. president.

"Quiet, you," snapped Giovanni. "And if you and your lovely secretary wish to live through this, the next words out of your mouth better be telling me where you keep the Master Balls."

"Let them go, already," said Jack.

"Or what?" sneered Giovanni. "Or you'll defeat my Pokémon in battle?"

"That's a good way to start," said Jack, as he took a Poké Ball off his belt and enlarged it.

"So be it," smirked Giovanni, as he took a Poké Ball of his own out of his pants pocket, enlarged it, and threw it. "Nidorino, attack!"

In a flash of light, a quadrupedal Pokémon appeared. Spikes jutted out all over its light purple body.

"Nidorino, the Poison Pin Pokémon, and the evolved form of the male Nidoran," said Roy's Pokédex. "Nidorino attacks using its poison-tipped horn, and defends with the spikes covering its body. Each spike is capable of injecting vicious poison into a victim."

"I gotta catch me one of these," said Jack, as he threw his own Poké Ball. "Cubone, I choose you!"

In a flash of light, Jack's Cubone appeared. It faced Nidorino, and growled at it.

"Nidorino, Horn Attack!" ordered Giovanni. Nidorino charged forward, head down, horn aimed right at Cubone.

"Bonemerang attack!" ordered Jack. Immediately, Cubone heaved its bone at Nidorino. The bone made contact with Nidorino's head, sending it tumbling backwards. The bone kept going, then turned around and flew back towards Cubone, hitting Nidorino a second time on its way. Cubone caught the bone expertly, chuckling at the sight of Nidorino trying to get back up. Giovanni, not to be deterred, pulled a stone out of his pants pocket that seemed to contain swirling blue mist.

"No!" exclaimed Jack, but it was too late. Giovanni tossed the stone at Nidorino, who began to glow on contact. Jack and Cubone looked on in horror as Nidorino doubled in size, stood up on its hind legs, and sprouted a massive tail. As the glow faded, the new Pokémon, now a darker shade of purple, roared loudly.

"Nidoking, the Drill Pokémon, and the evolved form of Nidorino," said Jack's Pokédex. "Nidoking's powerful tail is easily its best weapon. It is capable of snapping a telephone pole in half with little effort."

"Arceus damn it," said Jack. "Cubone, try Rock Slide!"

"Cubone bone bone bone!" exclaimed Cubone as it waved its bone, now glowing with a brown light, back and forth. Glowing pebbles flew out of the bone and enlarged themselves into sizable rocks.

Without even waiting for orders, Nidoking opened its mouth and roared, firing off a red beam of destructive energy, striking Cubone directly and disentigrating the rocks in the process. Cubone was slammed against the wall, and it slumped to the floor.

"Come on, Cubone! You can do it!" encouraged Jack.

"Cu... Bone..." groaned Cubone as it struggled to climb to its feet. Then, Cubone began to glow!

"What?!" barked Giovanni.

"Is it...?" asked Miror B.

"It is!" exclaimed Roy.

"It's evolving!" declared Jack. Sure enough, Cubone's body could be seen changing shape through the bright glow. The glow then faded, revealing a Marowak in Cubone's place. Its skull now really looked like part of its body, as opposed to loosely-fitting headgear, and its bone looked thicker and tougher.

The newly evolved Marowak still struggled to climb to its feet, but managed to. It then walked back in front of Jack and faced the Nidoking.

"All right, Marowak!" grinned Jack. "Bone Club now!"

"Maro marowak!" exclaimed Marowak, as it leapt towards Nidoking.

Giovanni simply chuckled. "Nidoking, Blizzard attack."

Nidoking roared again, this time unleashing what appeared to be a miniature snowstorm from its mouth. Marowak fell to the ground, unconscious.

"Son of a-"

"Jack, the rating!"

"LIKE IT MATTERS!"

Scowling, Jack withdrew Marowak, as Roy stepped forward. Smirking, Giovanni wordlessly withdrew Nidoking and threw another Poké Ball, unleashing what appeared to be a light blue Nidorino, but smaller and without a horn.

Roy threw a Poké Ball as well. "Lapras, go!" he yelled. In a flash of light, a large beast appeared before them. A grey, spiked shell sat upon its back. From the shell emerged four purple flippers, a small purple tail, and a long, purple neck upon which sat its head. As Lapras opened its mouth and squealed with delight at having been sent out, a swirl of blue stars flew around it.

"What the hell?!" exclaimed Jack. "Your Lapras is SHINY?!"

"Awesome!" exclaimed Roy.

"Lapras, the Transport Poké-"

"OK, hold it right there," said Jack to his Pokédex. "First off, I don't care HOW this story is rated! If I want to curse, I will curse!"

"No, you won't," said the Pokédex firmly. "And even if you do, I'll just bleep it out."

"And another thing," said Jack. "Back when I 'JAAACK PAAAWNCH'ed the door open, you included the number one among the numerous exclamation points that followed it. Any reason for that?"

"Just felt like it," said the Pokédex. "What, I can't do the occasional intentional typo every so often?"

"Not really," snapped Jack.

"Uh, guys?" said Roy. "I hate to interrupt what appears to be the start of a running gag, but LOOK!"

Jack looked, and saw Lapras unconscious upon the ground. In front of Giovanni stood what was unmistakably a freshly evolved Nidoqueen.

"OK, as usual, it's up to me," said Miror B., as Roy and Giovanni withdrew their Pokémon. Miror B. stepped forward and produced from his afro his radio and a Poké Ball. He pressed the button that had been designed after his afro, and an all-too-familiar tune began to play.

"Not again," groaned Giovanni."

"Let the music play!" sang Miror B. as he threw the Poké Ball. "Ludicolo, dance to the music!"

In a flash of light, one of Miror B.'s four Ludicolo emerged from its ball, and immediately began moving in time with the funky salsa beat.

Giovanni threw a third Poké Ball, and in a flash of light, his Persian came out, landing nimbly on the ground.

"Ludicolo," said Miror B., "Use a Scald attack!"

Ludicolo quacked in happiness as it sprayed a steaming hot stream of water from its bill. Persian screeched in immense displeasure as the boiling water made contact with its body.

"Use Thunderbolt!" ordered Giovanni. Persian snarled in anger as its entire body lit up with electricity. It then fired off a massive bolt of electricity, which Ludicolo was able to dodge by nimbly dancing out of the way. Giovanni simply smiled, and took yet another Mist Stone out of his pocket, and prepared to drop it on Persian.

"Gastly, use Trick" called Jack as he threw the Poké Ball. In a flash of light, Gastly appeared. Instantly, the Mist Stone vanished from Giovanni's grasp, and reappeared, seemingly stuck in the dark purple mist surrounding Gastly. Before Gastly could begin to telekinetically give the Mist Stone to Jack, it began to glow!

"Oops," said Jack. "Forgot it would be in contact with the Mist Stone after using Trick."

As the glow faded, however, the resulting Haunter didn't seem upset at all. On the contrary, it cackled loudly, presumably happy about its unexpected evolution.

"Damn!" snarled Giovanni. "But it matters not. I can just use another Mist Stone-"

"Now, Ludicolo! Waterfall!" sang Miror B. Ludicolo quacked menacingly, then charged towards Persian, its entire body shrouded in water. The impact sent Persian flying into Giovanni, who was thrown against the wall. The music faded. Miror B. shoved his radio back into his afro.

As Giovanni got to his feet, he withdrew Persian, and scowled. "You may win this time, but next time, watch out. Jack! Never forget that all Pokémon exist for Team Rocket!"

With that, the Team Rocket boss strode past the trio and left the room.

"Thank you, all of you!" exclaimed Silph Co.'s president once he seemed sure that Giovanni was out of earshot. "I cannot possibly thank you all enough! You drove Team Rocket out of Silph co.!"

"It was nothing," said Roy modestly.

"I must thank you all somehow- ah! Here we go!" The president produced three small spheres from his pants pocket and enlarged them to full size. Each one was white on the bottom, and purple on the top, with two pink circles on either side of a white "M". Jack immediately recognized these as Master Balls.

"These are Master Balls," said the president, handing one to Miror B., one to Roy, and one to Jack. "They'll catch any Pokémon instantly."

"Awesome!" exclaimed Roy.

"Very cool," said Miror B.

"How did Giovanni not find these?" asked Jack. "Weren't they in your pants pocket?"

"Giovanni was about to search me, until I convinced him I wasn't wearing underpants," replied the president. "He backed off after that."

"Heh. That's a pretty good lie," chuckled Jack.

The president's eyes darted left to right. "Who said anything about it being a lie?" he asked. Jack, Roy, and Miror B. exchanged slightly nauseated looks before quietly backing out of the room, then running like hell to the warp panel.
--------------
End of Chapter 31.

*Jessie and James are revealed to have new uniforms.
*Jessie is revealed to have caught a Woobat.
*It is revealed that the Lapras Roy obtained in the previous chapter is Shiny.
*Jack's Cubone evolves into Marowak.
*Jack's Gastly evolves into Haunter.
 
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gmoyes

Nerd and Proud of it
Rofl. first of all:
"Son of a-"

"Jack, the rating!"

"LIKE IT MATTERS!"
Yeah, it really doesn't lol. And:
The president's eyes darted left to right. "Who said anything about it being a lie?" he asked. Jack, Roy, and Miror B. exchanged slightly nauseated looks before quietly backing out of the room, then running like hell to the warp panel.
Wow lol. you never fail to entertain. By always failing lol. Keep the gags coming!
 

#1TransendTrainer

PANDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
"Not again," groaned Giovanni."


Was the quotation mark after Giovanni intentional?
 
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Fire Angel

Crazy Person
New chapter! Awesome!

As for me, I am in my office in the Cyber Town prison, spinning the Wheel Of Execution Methods, deciding on the best way to off the narrator.

...How many execution methods do you have? Actually, on second thought, don't answer that.

"The Unova region?" Miror B. thought to himself. "But that's impossible... I would've known..."

What the heck was Miror B. doing in Unova? Wait, I have a theory.

When you said "Or does he?" in response to saying that Miror B. didn't have everything in his afro, the "everything" in question being the last three Gym Badges, it made me think... If he does have the badges and is holding out on Jack and Roy, it means that he's actually not on their side and is instead working with Missingno. Master and will betray Jack at a crucial moment, and he was in Unova on business for Missingno. Master. It all makes sense!

...No, I'm not a conspiracy theorist. Why do you ask?


But I'm thinking maybe the sign someone hung on the door that reads 'Do not disturb! Boss Rocket is in here.' may have something to do with it."

Subtly is not a strong point of Giovanni's, is it?

"That leaves us with one option. JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWNCH!!1!"

...He can punch down doors. I have officially seen everything -- wait, no, you'll find a way to top that, won't you? I'm counting on it.

"If you call extortion and death threats a vital business discussion,"

That's what business discussions are for Team Rocket. That's all the business that they actually want to deal with. Killing and... yeah.


"Who said anything about it being a lie?" he asked. Jack, Roy, and Miror B. exchanged slightly nauseated looks before quietly backing out of the room, then running like hell to the warp panel.

Yeah, I'd definitely run, too. XD


So, all in all, great chapter, and I can't wait to see more and figure out just what the heck is going on with everything...
 

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
New chapter! Awesome!
I think so.



...How many execution methods do you have? Actually, on second thought, don't answer that.
Heh heh heh.



What the heck was Miror B. doing in Unova? Wait, I have a theory.

When you said "Or does he?" in response to saying that Miror B. didn't have everything in his afro, the "everything" in question being the last three Gym Badges, it made me think... If he does have the badges and is holding out on Jack and Roy, it means that he's actually not on their side and is instead working with Missingno. Master and will betray Jack at a crucial moment, and he was in Unova on business for Missingno. Master. It all makes sense!

...No, I'm not a conspiracy theorist. Why do you ask?
I can assure you, Miror B. is definitely on their side. However, that's not to say that betrayal of some sort won't play a part in the story.

Subtly is not a strong point of Giovanni's, is it?
Not at all.

...He can punch down doors. I have officially seen everything -- wait, no, you'll find a way to top that, won't you? I'm counting on it.
I've already thought of maybe three more things that can top that, all of which will be seen in this story, as well as the third story. Yes, there will be a third one. I already have a title, and I know what it'll be about.

That's what business discussions are for Team Rocket. That's all the business that they actually want to deal with. Killing and... yeah.

Pretty much.

Yeah, I'd definitely run, too. XD
Wouldn't anyone?

So, all in all, great chapter, and I can't wait to see more and figure out just what the heck is going on with everything..

Thanks!
 

Skydra

Well-Known Member
"The Unova region?" Miror B. thought to himself. "But that's impossible... I would've known..."

Thoughts should have only italics, not both italics and quotations. Italics and quotations together would probably be for whispering.

The chapter was good overall, but one thing;

This "PokeGod" thing with the Mist Stones just doesn't make sense, because the grunts and leaders alike always end up using their Mist Stones in battle, and not being able to make PokeGods. Why don't they simply use the Mist Stones earlier, and then already have PokeGods in battle? I don't know if you have an answer to this question planned, but make sure to do something that makes more sense.

Also, its a continuation issue that Jessie and James now have their Unova persona. If every anime change happens to them, that would mean they are going from Kanto to the other regions and back again many times. I know that the fanfic is supposed to be strange, but sometimes nonsensicalness overloads the strange mechanic.

Unless... maybe they are secretly ultimate powers who have the ability to teleport, and they are the true enemy, one that everyone in the whole Pokemon Universe must defeat! That would be a little chaotic.
 

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
Thoughts should have only italics, not both italics and quotations. Italics and quotations together would probably be for whispering.
Ah, gotcha.

The chapter was good overall, but one thing;

This "PokeGod" thing with the Mist Stones just doesn't make sense, because the grunts and leaders alike always end up using their Mist Stones in battle, and not being able to make PokeGods. Why don't they simply use the Mist Stones earlier, and then already have PokeGods in battle? I don't know if you have an answer to this question planned, but make sure to do something that makes more sense.
Well, the grunts are just stupid like that, they never think to use Mist Stones beforehand. As for Giovanni, he prefers a more cruel approach. He lets opponents believe they have a chance against his Pokemon, then evolves them mid-battle and crushes them.

Not to mention, they're trying to keep Project G a little quiet for the time being, and I think you'll agree that Giovanni wiping out Saffron City with a Nidogod and Nidogoddess would have attracted a teensey bit of unwanted attention.

Also, its a continuation issue that Jessie and James now have their Unova persona. If every anime change happens to them, that would mean they are going from Kanto to the other regions and back again many times. I know that the fanfic is supposed to be strange, but sometimes nonsensicalness overloads the strange mechanic.
Well, explaining right now how they get to and from Unova so quickly would involve a fairly major spoiler being revealed a bit early, so trust me when I say that I have it all figured out.


Unless... maybe they are secretly ultimate powers who have the ability to teleport, and they are the true enemy, one that everyone in the whole Pokemon Universe must defeat! That would be a little chaotic.
...Nope, just a three semi-average Team Rocket members. :)
 
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