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the Adventures of Ash And Jared the first epic novel

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Blazeing Man, Apr 9, 2013.

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  1. Blazeing Man

    Blazeing Man proffesional artist

    HI i am blazeing man and you might know my comic called The Adventures Of Ash and Jared, it is very good.

    Well i was thinking one day "making this sprite comic is not easy And I like to write too." So i decided that i would write a story based on the first ash and jared adventure.

    THIS DOESNT mean that i will not make the comic any more.I will just do this for a while and do little comics sometimes based on ash and jared.

    OK heres chapter one

    ~*~CHAPTER ONE: ash and jared meet team rocket man~*~​

    One day Ash and Jared were talking in a field during recess


    at school. "Hey Ash" said Jared "How are You today". "I am good and

    pikachu is too" replyed ash. "Pika pika." said Pikachu. Ash and jared

    talked more and pikachu went off to look at a tree. "PIKA PIKA" he

    screamed and a team rocket man jumped out of the bush. "Ha hah

    haha!!!! I will steal this pikachu" he said and put pikachu in the bag.

    "This pikachu is mine now" he said but Ash and jared said "STOP

    THEIF!!!" The team rocket man ran away and ash and jared couldnt keep

    up quick enough. "Im mad my pikachu got stoled" said Ash. "Don't worry

    we will get them. I can help with my infernape and my scraggy. I have a

    lot of pokemon." "But jared we have to go to school. The bell is rining."

    And it was. "DINGDING DING DING DINGALINGA DING DING DING" went

    the bell. "Dont worry ash I have my vileplume. He will use sleep powder

    on the teacher and we can go catch the team rocket man." "But jared"

    ash said "what if a true antsy officer gets us??" "Is a true antsy officer a

    real thing??" jared said. "Yes my mom told me he would get me if i ever left

    school early." said ash. "Well it doesnt matter if we get in trouble we can

    explain that Pikachu got stole and it was an emergency. Plus i have an

    azumarill that can fight their growlithes." "OK" said Ash. And they got

    ready to fight the Team Rocket man who stole ashes pikachu.
     
  2. TheBlackDuelist

    TheBlackDuelist Well-Known Member

    Could please reformat this with better Paragraph structure. It's kind of annoying to read the story with no separation in lines and breaks to show where the topic changes
     
  3. telivisionhead

    telivisionhead Well-Known Member

    Great story so far. Cant wait for the next chapter
     
  4. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    Please read the fanfiction rules. For starters:
    This fails to reach one page even keeping the formatting as-is.

    Stories also have to have some proper effort put into them; please use a spell/grammar checker and proof read before posting, as mistakes such as
    are consistent throughout. (I'm, stolen, needs a comma before the closing quotation mark).

    Closed.
     
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