The Adventures Of Sage: Changing The Worlds

[Sweet Pinpuku]

I had the idea of remaking my first ever fic year (doesn't exist anymore, have to do all this from memory) a while ago and, while I won't deny that Rocket Frontier was one of the best things I'd ever written, it was getting too complicated and, without proper back-story, the sequel would make no sense.

Anyways, henceforth ^^ the idea to divide my first fic into 3+ "books" came around.

And so, here's the first one, beginning with the Prologue (which is, in essence, the end).

Chapter 000​

A Simple Wish​

My name is Sage Mair. I'm fifteen years old and was born in Goldenrod City. I have a mother called Karen and a father called Andrew. My mother is a Co-ordinator and my father a Gym Leader in Hoenn.

They both always had a strong and healthy relationship and worshipped me as their only child. I couldn't ask for a better life - I have everything anyone could ever want. Well, almost everything...

We moved to Hoenn due to my father's responsibilities to the Gym and I started on a whole new journey, leaving a grand twenty-three Pokémon at home with my parents (twelve from my first journey in Johto and eleven from my Kanto trek). I met Professor Brendan Birch and received my Torchic (a small red chick that spewed fires when he got angry) and off we went on an effortless trip.

Along my journey, I made a few friends - Kimi, an aspiring Co-ordinator, and Tay, a Ranger in-training. They made a good match for each other in the end. Everything was perfect... for them anyways.

We had an amazing journey over the year; we each achieved our goals - I won the Hoenn tournament, Kimi won her Grand Festival and Tay was accepted as a full-fledged Ranger. Easy.

And let's not forget the Pokémon that made it happen. My final winning team consisted of Blaziken (a big strong bird beast that delivered powerful fiery kicks); Gardevoir (a slender psychic woman dressed for the ball); Masquerain (a flittering blue bug with a face to face); Swalot (a purple blob with an outstanding appetite); Starmie (a purple star with personality); Absol (a disaster-seeking sleek white wolf creature); and a few in reserve, Ninetales (a cool-headed fire-breathing nine-tailed fox); Glalie (a floating scary head of ice); and Salamence (a fearsome creature with the heart of a mother).

Kimi's team consisted of Swampert (the sumo fish); Beautifly (the bug with sparkling wings); Delcatty (a cat Pokémon who was worth less attention than it got); Roselia (the rose we stopped to smell each day); Wigglytuff (in a word: hug it); and Luvdisc (a small heart-shaped creature that brought her and Tay together).

Tay's team was comprised of Sceptile (the forest protector); Mightyena (a black round-up pup); Swellow (our eye in the sky and fog-clearer); Crobat (a purple four-winged menace more than anything else); Grumpig (a weird dancing pig); and Solrock (the sun who was saved). These Pokémon were left in Kimi's possession after Tay left to be a proper Pokémon Ranger.

I loved each and every one of my Pokémon, I wouldn't have beaten the Elite Four and the Champion without them (not that they even proved to be much of a challenge, very disappointing really). I can't say it was all bad though, it was a wonderful time for all and I was happy to have the support of all my friends. I almost regretted my decision to leave them. But, it was all just too easy...

I was just leaving the large, round, orange-walled stadium when I noticed a glimmer of green dive into some nearby bushes. I took two tiny steps down the dirt path when, suddenly, a child-like voice sounded in my head:

"Don't play with time," it said, "or you will lose them."

I swiftly spun round, looking back at the stadium. Just under the rounded white archway that led into the field stood my two friends, along with the previous champion, Samantha DeAmbos.

Kimi waved and called over "come on! Let's go out and celebrate."

Her long blonde hair blew as a breeze floated past. The grass around the dirt path I stood on danced and pointed in the direction of the green light - it was like the earth was telling me to follow the light.

"I'll be there in one sec!" I waved and yelled back. "I just wanna check something out first!"

I turned away from them and walked slowly towards where the light had hidden. As I neared the overly green bushes, I looked back at the three people behind me and wondered what the voice had meant.

"Don't you want a better life?" a husky female voice spoke from the bush.

I quickly returned my attention to it and went behind the bush, out of view of my friends. There, in an oddly quiet clearing, stood a woman all in green, with short light green hair and blue antenna.

"I can make your dreams come true," her husky voice said.

"Make my life interesting," I whispered and sobbed. "I don't want a perfect life!" I broke down completely.

"Let it be done!" She cried.

Everything went black and, when I woke up, it was moving day and I was left with no memories of the events of the past year.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

So, how'd I do? I bet you're all intrigued, you're just not gonna admit it See ya'll soon for the first chapter!

Oh, one more thing, as always, with all my fics now, there is a chapter list here in the first post, which will be updated with whatever good titles come into my head (added in here so I can not forget them hehe). Anyways, feel free to comment on what you think is gonna happen in them.

;440;

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

Characters & Pokémon​

Sage Mair
ON-HAND
Torchic

STORAGE
Charizard
Nidorina
Clefable
Gloom
Dugtrio
Primeape
Poliwhirl
Victreebel
Magneton
Lickitung
Lapras
Jolteon
Meganium
Furret
Ariados
Ampharos
Sudowoodo
Misdreavus
Teddiursa
Phanpy
Smeargle

Kimi Matthews
ON-HAND
Mudkip

STORAGE
---------

Tay Birch
ON-HAND
Treecko

STORAGE
---------

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

Chapter Listing​

Chapter 000 ~ A Simple Wish
Chapter 001 ~ Moving Day, Meeting Day
Chapter 002 ~ Sight-Seeing
Chapter 004 ~ The Ghost Of Oldale
Chapter ??? ~ Kirlia's Trick House
Chapter ??? ~ Three Catastrophes
Chapter ??? ~ The Fortree Flood

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

 

[Silawen]

I have to admit, I know nothing about this 'Rcoket Frontier' you speak of - seeing as I've only recently returned to the forum - but I can give a reaction to this prologue.

To me the three friends winning everything seems unrealistic. I know Ash and his buddies have a habit of doing just that, but it sounds like a huge coincidence that all three reach their end-goal without fail. Especially because, unlike what is portrayed in the TV show, I'd think it's harder to achieve those goals when travelling with people who don't share your dream, than when they'd be travelling with fellow trainers or coordinators.

What I'm most confused about, though, is how you've portrayed the main character. She is fifteen - and already champion, which I find hard to believe - and from Goldenrod, but that's really all you tell us. True, you share all their pokémon, but we don't know a lot about her. Only what happens around her.

Then the legendary pokémon shows up to make things interesting - I suppose - and even though earlier you stated

They both always had a strong and healthy relationship and worshipped me as their only child. I couldn't ask for a better life - I have everything anyone could ever want. Well, almost everything...

(Implying that, while she didn't have everything she wanted, she certainly was happy.)

and

Along my journey, I met my friends Kimi, an aspiring Co-ordinator, and Tay, a Ranger in-training. They made a good match for each other in the end. Everything was perfect.

(Everything was perfect and she definitely seems to appreciate that. Throughout the prologue she seems content and happy. She's achieved all of her goals, has been treated justly, has geat pokémon, has great friends, and nothing except one measly sentence "Well, almost everything." points to the contrary.)

So then why, when asked whether or not she wants a 'better life' - I find it hard to believe there is even such a thing, seeing as it sounds rather perfect - the girl breaks down in sobs and asks to be saved? If she did not want a perfect life, then why not do something about it, instead of sounding so terribly ungrateful.

That's basically my feelings about this prologue. I, personally, would make it clearer as to why she isn't happy with her life, because to me it just comes across as her being incredibly ungrateful. She has been blessed with everything a person could ever want, but she still isn't happy.

Good luck on the next chapter!

 

[Sweet Pinpuku]

Sorry if this post winds up posted twice, first time I tried it the stupid thing logged me off and said I needed to be logged in to frickin' post! *grr*

Anyways, firstly, thank you Silawen for your review. Now, let me review your review ^.^

Rocket Frontier was my initial attempt at re-doing this fic, but in a different setting and time. However, mistakes were made and, while planning ahead, it got complicated to the point where I had to do the backstory, what came before Rocket Frontier.

I don't wanna say too much about Rocket Frontier because this is the sort-of prequel to it, with a re-hash of Rocket Frontier following on from this fic.

The point of the Prologue is only to show that Sage has had a life where everything has been too perfect and everything has basically just been handed to her (and subsequently her friends too). However, she wants a more interesting and challenging life-style, she wants to earn what she's got and not have it handed to her.

Now, I cannot say too much more there because, and I think this is an obvious assumption, Sage will make it back to the point where she met the green woman and time was altered and, so, a lot of stuff that is missed out here will be put in there (there's a whole thing that I can't say, it's like huge plot-twist stuff for the final chapter and sets up the next two fics - Rocket Frontier and Dieties Of Time).

With regards to Sage being Champion at sixteen (they travelled for a year, remember), all I can say is anything is possible (there is a lecturer at my college who is sixteen, so if he can do that, then she can do this, yeah?).

And her life, wait and see how it develops. Bear in mind, while she technically has lived through it and I just haven't said it here, she has been thrown back in time to a sort-of alternate universe where things progress differently - essentially, it's not in the Prologue because you're basically gonna get it all anways as Sage travels. I can't put too much in here because I don't want to spoil certain stories that'll crop up along the way.

Your first quote, the wording went a bit skeewiff, I made changes as I wrote it and I obviously missed that one, my bad XD

That one sentence is not the only thing that points to the contrary. In fact, if you look into it enough, the entire Prologue shows how unhappy she is - everything to do with this Prologue is empty and bland (for lack of better wording) because it's how she sees her life. She's not telling you everything that's happened and stuff because she doesn't care, but she doesn't say directly so as to not seem ungrateful. Does that make any sense?

For your final comment all I can say is - nippers I don't believe anyone would want a life like that, where everything just comes so easy. My life has been like that for years and, over the past four months, I've battled death, fought for love and worked my *** off to achieve and I'd do it all again rather than just have it handed to me. I am proud of what I've done for myself over the past few months and, getting back to the fic, that is something that Sage hasn't had, she never had the experience of earning anything and so she cannot take pride in any of her achievements.

Sorry, got a little carried away and, let's say, passionate about this.

Your feedback is greatly appreciated, I hope you continue to be this critical about the rest of my chapters because, by golly, have you got me all revved up to make this fic beautiful!

;440;

 

[Silawen]

Wow, reading a purple font on a brown background really hurts the eyes. XD I had to copy paste your reply to a Word document to be able to read it. *grins*

I don't wanna say too much about Rocket Frontier because this is the sort-of prequel to it, with a re-hash of Rocket Frontier following on from this fic.

You don't have to say anything. However, if this is to be a stand-alone story, then it should be able to be ready without knowing anything about Rocket Frontier. Especially because this is a prequel and should therefore be read first.

The point of the Prologue is only to show that Sage has had a life where everything has been too perfect and everything has basically just been handed to her (and subsequently her friends too). However, she wants a more interesting and challenging life-style, she wants to earn what she's got and not have it handed to her.

The thing is, though, that to me that wasn't clear. We saw how privilidged she was, sure, but there were no signs that she was unhappy about it. While I find her perfect life extremely unlikely - it's a bit too perfect for my tastes - this plot wouldn't be such a problem if you make sure the reader knows she is unhappy with said life. One instance of 'well, not everything', just isn't enough. At least, not for me.

Now, I cannot say too much more there because, and I think this is an obvious assumption, Sage will make it back to the point where she met the green woman and time was altered and, so, a lot of stuff that is missed out here will be put in there (there's a whole thing that I can't say, it's like huge plot-twist stuff for the final chapter and sets up the next two fics - Rocket Frontier and Dieties Of Time).

I'm not entirely sure which of my statements this is in reply to. However, the problem is not that you should flesh out everything that happened before that, I understand that is the plot of the story, but the fact that to a first-time reader of your fic, the prologue makes her seem like a very happy girl, only to do a complete 180 turn to sobbing failure.

A simple sentence like 'Everything seemed perfect, but not everything was as it seemed.' would have made a huge difference. It doesn't give out plot points, or anything huge, but it does make the reader understand that she isn't as happy with her life as it may seem.

With regards to Sage being Champion at fifteen, all I can say is anything is possible (there is a lecturer at my college who is sixteen, so if he can do that, then she can do this, yeah?).

Sure, it is possible, but it is still extremely unlikely. Even more unlikely is her two friends reaching their goals at exactly the same time. To me she simply comes across as a - and I hate to use this word - a Mary Sue. Everything is astoundingly perfect, and the only difference between your story and the averag sue-fic, is that you've made a plot out of it.

That one sentence is not the only thing that points to the contrary. In fact, if you look into it enough, the entire Prologue shows how unhappy she is - everything to do with this Prologue is empty and bland (for lack of better wording) because it's how she sees her life. She's not telling you everything that's happened and stuff because she doesn't care, but she doesn't say directly so as to not seem ungrateful. Does that make any sense?

To be honest, I don't see any of that. Your character is talking to the readers, so there would be no one to upset if she had a different opinion, and the entire prologue is filled with reasons why her life was so great. Good friends, awesome pokémon, achieved what she wanted, adored by her parents. Nothing, except one small sentence, to indicate otherwise. If she didn't care, then why go through the trouble of pretending everything was wonderful? Bland writing does not make the character seem ungrateful, it makes her seem bland. There are better ways to show disinterest and lack of love for her current situation than making things bland.

For your final comment all I can say is - nippers I don't believe anyone would want a life like that, where everything just comes so easy. My life has been like that for years and, over the past four months, I've battled death, fought for love and worked my *** off to achieve and I'd do it all again rather than just have it handed to me. I am proud of what I've done for myself over the past few months and, getting back to the fic, that is something that Sage hasn't had, she never had the experience of earning anything and so she can take pride in her achievements.

I am not familiar with the term 'nippers' and shall therefore not comment on it. However, while I think that writing about a privilidged child having to survive hardship is interesting, I still wonder why that means she should hate her life. She could appreciate her life and still - like I said in my earlier review - make things interesting. Grab a rattata she caught when she was young, leave all her other pokémon behind, and begin again, for example.

Most, if not all, unfortunate people would disagree and choose a great life over struggles and harship. Still, while it could definitely be interesting, having such a perfect life is unrealistic. Even for the fortunate among us, things will go wrong. Not having that makes your character a Mary Sue.

Sorry, got a little carried away and, let's say, passionate about this.

That's quite alright, I love discussions. ^^

 

[Sweet Pinpuku]

It did it again *grr* logged me off just as I click the post button *screams* hope this one doesn't double post *sighs*

I'll lay off on the purple then See, I have mine on the blue beauty background and, while it's not the easiest to read, it helps keep my own comments and the actual chapters seperate. Is this lovely creamy colour better?

I got my words mixed up with Rocket Frontier. I just meant that for those who do not it (all 17 chapters XD) would probably find this more interesting than those who don't know it because of certain connections between the two.

I've actually already started to edit in signs of unhappiness ^.^ just had to throw in my opinion hehe

To be honest, I hate Mary-Sue characters and, I feel I can say, Sage will not be a Mary-Sue for the majority of this fic because she's had her life changed from perfect bliss to a "normal" mess - she will have her ups and downs to put it lightly - that I'm sure everyone can relate to at one point or another, you know?

We had an amazing journey over the year; we each achieved our goals - I won the Hoenn tournament, Kimi won her Grand Festival and Tay was accepted as a full-fledged Ranger.

Oakies, I never wrote anything about them all achieving their goals at the same time. Over the course of the year they were together, they each achieved their goals

Your character is talking to the readers, so there would be no one to upset if she had a different opinion

You're not a paranoid person are you? XD Basically it's a guilt thing - while no-one else would know, she would know, you know?

"Nippers" is my way of saying "no", "nope", "nay chance pal", you get the idea ^.^

For your final comment on the Prologue here, all I can say is that I'm not gonna say anything about it until you get to the end *coughplottwistcough* it's not the greatest of twists, but it rounds up the fic if I decide not to do the sequel, but also leaves it open for one (I am a genius ^.^).

I love discussions as well, especially about something I'm really working hard at after several failed attempts at it. I feel that this could do it right and it only took four years to perfect XD

;440;

 

[Silawen]

I appreciate you not using the purple. My eyes salute you. (If eyes could salute, which would be a rather horrific sight - no pun intended - I'd imagine.)

To be honest, I hate Mary-Sue characters and, I feel I can say, Sage will not be a Mary-Sue for the majority of this fic because she's had her life changed from perfect bliss to a "normal" mess - she will have her ups and downs to put it lightly - that I'm sure everyone can relate to at one point or another, you know?

I'm a bit confused. Does this mean you're going to edit both the prologue and your first chapter to change the plot? Is that even possible, with its sequel already written?

Because if I read your earlier quotes properly;

And so, here's the first one, beginning with the Prologue (which is, in essence, the end).

Then that means her story wouldn't be about the mundane things that happen to a trainer, but her achieving everything. After all, the prologue states her life had been perfect, but that she hates it. If the story revolves around what happened to her before the prologue - because as you said it is in fact the end, not the beginning - then that would mean it is about her attaining her perfect life.

Which would make her a Mary Sue. Being run over by a truck in chapter ten does not negate the fact that a character had been a Sue up till then. Get what I mean? Her being bored with her perfect life doesn't make that earlier perfect life any better. It is still Sueish.

Oakies, I never wrote anything about them all achieving their goals at the same time. Over the course of the year they were together, they each achieved their goals

No, not quite that specific, but you did say they all obtained that in the same year. That is still remarkably coincidental. Normally it would take trainers years and years to achieve it, if they even managed it at all. There are so many more trainers who can't get past their first gym, let alone reach the end like these three did. It's unlikely that all three friends would get where they wanted to be, instead of just one incredibly lucky member of their group.

You're not a paranoid person are you? XD Basically it's a guilt thing - while no-one else would know, she would know, you know?

Fair enough. Perhaps the reason she would feel ungrateful for feeling that is becauseit is ungrateful?

For your final comment on the Prologue here, all I can say is that I'm not gonna say anything about it until you get to the end *coughplottwistcough* it's not the greatest of twists, but it rounds up the fic if I decide not to do the sequel, but also leaves it open for one (I am a genius ^.^).

Ah, but this prologue is the end, no? It's one of the reasons why I don't like backtracking like this. You're pretty set in the way things are going to end up. You already told the readers her journey is going to be perfect, and instead of being able to change things mid-story, you can't randomly decide to make it harder for her.

 

[Sweet Pinpuku]

Yes, saluting eyes would be awfully strange... just salute with your nose then ^.^

No, what I mean is, the fic basically starts with her finishing her Hoenn journey, the fic will also end at that point, when her time in Hoenn is up after having to redo it all a different way with no memory of her "perfect" life.

Sage's perfect life rubs off on her friends - a good thing for her is for her friends to succeed, hence why they all achieved and got what they wanted - this starts to tie in with the thing at the end again now (this fic is perfect, everything leads up to this one specific moment *giggles*).

Her journey isn't going to be perfect. She did that and hated it and was given an opportunity to change it and she took it. Sage now stands back a year before with a new life - the same people, plus some new ones and new events that make it more challenging for her. Naturally, there is more to it than that, I just ain't saying

I have to say, you are so good at getting me all confused and togue-tied XD

;440;

 

[Manaphyman]

*Wanders in late and confused...

Ok...so it seems a lot like Rocket Frontier, which is to my liking of course. I am actually relatively confused. I see our much loved and famous characters are back, but is this Rocket Frontier in different parts? Or does it take place before/after it? That part is a bit confusing.

I would have also like a pm....

Anyways, I liked this a lot actually. It seems our heroes are all going off into their different directions. I am also a bit skeptical of the champion at 16 buisness, but that is artistic license, and I have no problem with it.

Actually it seemed rather short and quite rushed. Description was decent and not listy, and flow was good.

My name is Sage Mair. I'm fifteen years old and was born in Goldenrod City. I have a mother called Karen and a father called Andrew. My mother is a Co-ordinator and my father a Gym Leader in Hoenn.

They both always had a strong and healthy relationship and worshipped me as their only child. I couldn't ask for a better life - I have everything anyone could ever want. Well, almost everything...

We moved to Hoenn due to my father's responsibilities to the Gym and I started on a whole new journey, leaving a grand twenty-three Pokémon at home with my parents (twelve from my first journey in Johto and eleven from my Kanto trek). I met Professor Brendan Birch and received my Torchic (a small red chick that spewed fires when he got angry) and off we went on an effortless trip.

Along my journey, I made a few friends - Kimi, an aspiring Co-ordinator, and Tay, a Ranger in-training. They made a good match for each other in the end. Everything was perfect... for them anyways.

We had an amazing journey over the year; we each achieved our goals - I won the Hoenn tournament, Kimi won her Grand Festival and Tay was accepted as a full-fledged Ranger. Easy.

My favorite part, but again..got me a bit confused....

 

[Silawen]

No, what I mean is, the fic basically starts with her finishing her Hoenn journey, the fic will also end at that point, when her time in Hoenn is up after having to redo it all a different way with no memory of her "perfect" life.

*confused* So, you're saying she is being sent back in time - as a sort of alternate universe - in which she has to start all over again in the Hoenn region?

That would mean this definitely isn't the end of the story. The outcome would be drastically different and she wouldn't feel annoyed at ehr perfect life. If that is the case, then you have to make sure everyone realised that. Because really, the way you have it set up now is utterly confusing to me.

Sage's perfect life rubs off on her friends - a good thing for her is for her friends to succeed, hence why they all achieved and got what they wanted - this starts to tie in with the thing at the end again now (this fic is perfect, everything leads up to this one specific moment *giggles*).

And how, exactly, does her perfect life rub off on her friends? I'd say if my best friend was incredibly lucky and achieved everything she wanted, I wouldn't somehow be able to do the same thing. In fact, I'd probably feel envious of her, which would only have a detrimal effect on how I see life.

Her journey isn't going to be perfect. She did that and hated it and was given an opportunity to change it and she took it. Sage now stands back a year before with a new life - the same people, plus some new ones and new events that make it more challenging for her. Naturally, there is more to it than that, I just ain't saying

But if nothing is changed, then how will the journey end differently? Everything is the same, she doesn't even know about her perfect life - and can, therefore, not change anything to make sure she doesn't end up that way - so why would things be different?

*smiles* I don't try to confuse you, trust me. You're doing the same for me. *chuckles*

 

[Sweet Pinpuku]

Manaphyman, as stated in a post somewhere around here, this is a prequel to Rocket Frontier. Also, I can't promise PMs, I rarely use the PM system here. If I remember to send them out when I post a new chater I will, but don't expect it for each one, k?

I did say in my previous post it would be different, here is a longer version of what I said:

I did not say it was the end of the story (there's more, particularly in Rocket Frontier), but it is the end of the fic, technically speaking - the fic begins with Sage giving an overview of her life and then showing us what transpired between her and the green woman and she was then sent back in time to re-live it all again with the same people (her mum, dad, Kimi, Tay and other characters that have not yet been introduced), but with differences to them that make Sage's life more complicated and challenging. Once she reaches Evergrande City again and gets to the point in time where the fic started, the fic will end.

I can't answer how her perfect life rubs off on them without spoiling the end. Trust me when I say that it happened and it happened for a reason. All I will say is that in the final chapter of this fic, everything regarding the time-travel business will be explained.

In response to your final comment on the fic, I can't say anything without spoiling what the fic is actually going to be about. It's not just about Sage re-living her life in a different way, there is more to it than that (something that ties in significantly with Rocket Frontier, although I didn't get that far).

All I will say is that take the final section of the Prologue very literally - Sage did nothing to change things beyond asking a mysterious green woman with blue antenna to make her life more interesting.

I hope this helps in some fashion.

;440;

 

[Silawen]

God, I'm still confused. Especially as to how they can end up at the exact some spot if the journey is going to be different. It makes no sense to me.

Say her initial journey is Situation A, this prologue Situation B, and the main character being thrown back in time is Situation C. (Seeing as according to you changes will be made to change how her journey went, so it's not the same.) Then how can they go from Situation C to Situation B? Situation A and C aren't the same, so the end-result couldn't be either.

So basically the prologue is the beginning of a fic instead of the end. And the character doesn't have to necessarily reach that point in time. At least, that's how I see it. Miniscule changes to someone's journey could have a substancial effect on their future. I've learned as much from every sci-fi show out there.

Personally, I like the thought of, say, her knowing she's been sent back in time and trying to retrace every step so that she ends up where it went wrong, while the green lady tries to sabotage it. *shrug*

Good luck, though!

 

[Sweet Pinpuku]

The physical journey of going from town to town (starting in Littleroot, going to Oldale, Petalburg, etc) is the same in both timelines, but it is the actual events that happen while journeying that are different. Say, for example, in the first timeline, Sage breaks her leg on the way to Oldale, but in the second timeline she does not.

In essence, the Prologue marks the beggining of this fic. But, the same sequence at the end of the Prologue (Sage meeting the green woman) will occur at Evergrande City when Sage gets there once more at the end of this fic, although a different sequence of events will occur to get her there.

Everything will make sense as we get into the story and more is learned about the characters and what exactly has transpired in this world.

You are not too far off with your final statement there.

I hope you continue to read and review and keep me on my toes XD

;440;

 

[Manaphyman]

Ok thanks SP (can I call you that, I'm wayyy to lazy to type it all up.)

I didnt know this was a prequal, but now it makes sense. And the whole jurney deal also makes sense. I should have realized that it wasnt a "physical jounrey" but rather a psychological one.

 

[eevee10]

nice first chapter i loved it

 

[Sweet Pinpuku]

Ok thanks SP (can I call you that, I'm wayyy to lazy to type it all up.)

I didnt know this was a prequal, but now it makes sense. And the whole jurney deal also makes sense. I should have realized that it wasnt a "physical jounrey" but rather a psychological one.

It's both physical and psychological really, I mean, every journey you make in life is both at the end of the day, you know?

Thank you too for your comment eevee10, hope you continue to enjoy it as it progresses ^.^

;440;

 

[Sweet Pinpuku]

Chapter 001 ~ Moving Day, Meeting Day

Wow, like three days, that's gotta be a record for me XD

I've updated the Chapter Listing to include planned future chapters and also the Characters & Pokémon section to include Sage's in-storage Pokémon in the first post.

Chapter 001​

Moving Day, Meeting Day​

Moving day.

I sighed as I packed the last few remaining items of my room into a half-empty cardboard box. Once done, I folded the flaps and sealed it all with layer-upon-layer of masking tape. I sat on my naked bed and looked around the empty room, studying the spaces where bookshelves, drawers and other things used to live. It was a strange sensation to leave the home I'd lived in for fifteen years. I closed my eyes.

Yelling. They were yelling again. My head hurt. They were always yelling. Something smashed - another object that would not be moving with us. My mother screamed as Andrew, my "father", hit her yet again. Glistening tears trickled out my closed eyelids.

"I won't cry," I pulled my knees up to my chin and began to rock back and forth. "I won't cry. I won't cry."

Always yelling, always fighting... sometimes I wished for a less challenging life...

The front door suddenly slammed shut, the bang echoing throughout the house. My legs straightened out instantaneously and the tears stopped. I placed one green trainer on the wooden floor, then my next foot followed, pulling me gently towards the white wooden door.

I could hear my mother weeping downstairs. The next floorboard I stepped on suddenly creaked, I gasped and stopped moving, my mother stopped sobbing. The house stood in dead silence.

Silence... a sound I did not hear often. The memory of a dream I once had suddenly kicked in...

It was moving day, we were packing up our things and, as I took my last full cardboard box downstairs, I smiled as my mother and father tidied away their wedding photos. They were laughing and kissing and everything was perfect...

I sighed, coming out of my mind, what a wonderful life that could have been. But, instead, I was stuck in the middle as my parents went through the messiest of divorces. All of my friends parents were getting divorced one after another and they all went through the same and each were envious of my parents happy life. Well, it was happy at first, then, after I turned ten (a decade together), the fights began. They were small little tiffs at first and were gotten over easily, but they began to grow and grow until eventually my father walked out and that was it. Now, my mother is taking me to live with a friend in the Hoenn region.

"You'll get to go on a wonderful new journey," she'd said. "Make lots of new friends and get some new Pokémon you've never even seen before. It'll be so exciting!"

I knew she was right, but I just felt so sad leaving my home and my friends under such bad circumstances. The prospect of starting fresh with a new starter Pokémon and working hard and everything did excite me... I just wished my father was coming to see me through it all - he would be so proud of me, with him being a Gym Leader and all.

"Sage?" my mother call up.

"Yes, mum!" I yelled back down, fighting tears at the sound of her still strong voice.

"Bring the last of your stuff down, the van's here!"

"Yes, mum!"

I turned back to my bed and stared down at the box on the floor beside it. I moved quickly to it and lifted it. Not too heavy, I thought, as I weighed it in my arms. I then turned one-eighty once more to the plain door, whispering a "goodbye" to my room as I walked out.

There were no carpets in our house and, so, as my feet clattered down the empty hall and then down the stairs, each step I took on my way out the house echoed all around me. It was quite unnerving.

Downstairs in the living-room stood my mother, Karen, with three boxes - one on its own, and the other two stacked on top of each other - at her feet.

"Come on, little lady," she said cheerily, "some time today!"

I smiled and almost cried - after all she'd been through, she didn't want to take it out on me. I couldn't ask for a better mother.

The box in my arms fell to the floor as I ran across the room to hug my mother.

"Oh mum!" I cried as she wrapped her arms around me.

"Oh, Sage, what is it? What's wrong?" she gasped, knowing full-well what was wrong.

We stood, holding each other for what seemed like a lifetime.

My mother eventually sighed and whispered, "I know, it's alright, ssh, baby, ssh." She began to rock me, "we're okay, we're okay," she repeated, "we're okay, we're okay," until she couldn't speak anymore for sobbing.

As she broke down, I tightened my grip around her, letting her know she still had me, even though we'd lost Andrew a long time ago. As I closed my eyes, I could envision the first time he ever laid a finger on her.

I suddenly regained my composure as a knock came to the open door. A shifty looking man with greying black beard poked his head round, his beady little eyes scanning the empty rooms he could see.

"Can I help you?" I asked as I let go of my mother.

He took off his blue cap and entered the house, his jaw opened to speak but stopped midway as he stared at my weeping mother. I coughed, pulling his attention back to me.

"Y-y-yes," he stammered, nervously twisting his hat in his hands. "I-I-I'm here to-to-to move y-y-you," he sighed and shut his eyes, obviously unhappy with the way he was speaking. "M-my van, um, is outside," he then paused and took in a deep breath, "I-I will get tho-those b-b-b-b-boxes if you'd li-li-like," ending on a final sigh.

I was the one now staring in disbelief - I really wasn't expecting a professional to seem so nervous and scared of a fifteen year old girl.

"Yes," my mother suddenly spun round to face him, "that would be lovely, it's just those four boxes and that's us, ready to go," she pointed to the three boxes by our feet and the one I had dropped just inside the living-room door.

"Right," he didn't seem nervous with my mother.

The man, who was wearing a baggy blue jumpsuit that had the name-tag "Carl" on it, swiftly entered the room, picking up the dropped box his way in, coming close to us to pick up the box on its own and then exiting altogether.

He poked his head back in quickly to say, "I'll get those two in a minute," and went back out to the van.

My mother and I just stared at each other and smiles crept onto our faces.

"Grab those two boxes honey," my mother laughed, "and go wait in the car. I'll be out in a minute," she turned back to look across the living-room. "Have to say goodbye," she whispered.

I said nothing and picked up the final two boxes containing the rest of our things.

"See you soon," I called as I left the house.

I always said goodbye to my mum, even if I was just leaving the room to go to another room in the house. It was an odd habit, or so I am told.

"See you on the other side!" she yelled back.

With a smile, I met the guy in the blue jumpsuit - Carl, I think his name was - and he took the two boxes and placed them in the back of the van.

"You can wait in the van for your mom if you want," he said.

It was so weird - in Johto everyone said "mum", but in Hoenn everyone said "mom". I'd always wondered if I would adjust or stay with what I was raised with, this gave me a chance to discover that minor, yet quite exciting, detail of my life.

"Thanks," I nodded my head and walked round the green side of the van's back and to the white front, having a look at the zigzag patterns on the four big black wheels as I went (they've always amused me).

I opened the smallish white door of the van, at the passenger side obviously, and climbed in, moving over a touch for my "mom" to fit in beside me. It wasn't long until she and Carl were on either side of me and we were on the road to Olivine City, where we'd get a boat to Littleroot Town.

The trip to Olivine was relatively uneventful, we sang songs, my mother and Carl told stories and talked about stuff (television shows, sweets, games, stuff like that) from way back when in their childhood that practically didn't exist anymore, unless you went on to something like "ebay".

We did pass by a farm though where we each received a bottle of milk and a chance to meet the "famous" Chutney, a Miltank (basically a big pink cow, I really didn't care much for them) who won some rolling contest a few years back (it wasn't big news in Goldenrod I can grant you that), but it was important to the folks at this farm and we went along with it and got some milk for the trip (all I can say is, it made the five hour journey from Goldenrod to Olivine far more interesting).

It wasn't too long after that (and a very bumpy road) until we were in Olivine City, watching as the S.S. Tidal II docked and a variety of people stepped off - there were many people and Pokémon there, all of different sizes and colours, it was quite an amazing sight. But, I was tired and didn't really care so much (I'd been packing all morning and... other stuff) and just wanted to get to my new home.

Then, a short time after that, we were on the big white machine (although we had to wait in the van because from Olivine to Littleroot is only a few hours so there really was no point in us going up to the deck to sunbathe or to buy stuff or to pee).

I sighed as I bit into my plain cheese sandwich. My mother, knowing this would happen, packed us a picnic (with food and drinks for the driver too of course). It was pleasant enough in its own right, but I would've enjoyed it more if it had just been me and my mother and not me, my mother and a total stranger.

Thankfully, we were off the boat soon enough and our house was only a half hour drive from the newly declared city known as Littleroot. Driving through the city though, it didn't seem that much different from Goldenrod - all tall buildings and trash and the same type of people (businessmen and women, kids, single parents), perfect then.

To be honest, though, I was looking forward to getting on with my journey and getting away from my mother for a bit. I understood how she was feeling as best as I could, but I just needed to get away from everything and get back to nature really.

That's when I met Tay Birch, one of our new neighbours, and his family - Taro Birch (his older brother, all ginger hair and freckles), Nita Birch (sister, long fiery red hair and temper to match), Cassie Birch (mother, the original ginger and pretty plump) and Brendan Birch (the father, the crazy-eyed white-haired Professor).

Tay himself, another orange-haired child, stood staring at me, smiling, with his hands in the pockets of his denim jeans. I smiled back and he blushed.

His big sister nudged him with her pale skinny elbow and singed, "Tay's got a girlfriend, Tay's got a girlfriend," in a shrill, high-pitched voice.

He frowned, crying, "no, I don't," and pushed her away, "No, I don't! Shut up!"

"Hoi!" Taro called out to the pair as they continued to squabble, his voice was deep and commanding, "pack it in!"

They both stopped and bowed their heads to him, bending to his natural authority, and apologised to each other.

I laughed at the trio, suddenly very happy I was an only child.

"Ignore them," Cassie smiled, "you know, kids," she chatted to my mother quietly, who simply turned and stared at me.

"I would love to stay and chat," mother smiled too politely, "but we've had a long day and just want to finish unpacking and get settled in for the night."

I nodded in agreement and hurriedly grabbed one box and slowly took it indoors. Our new home was smaller and on the ground floor of a block of flats (with the Birch's living across the hall), very different from our big, stand-alone home in Goldenrod.

"Oh, don't worry about movin' dearie!" Cassie exclaimed, her girlie voice piercing my skull. "We'll help, we've gots ourselves ten hands between us!" I could tell from the tone of her voice that she was smiling.

"Oh, no!" My mother gasped dramatically. "I wouldn't want to put you out of your way!" She was so obviously not sincere, I couldn't help but laugh a little.

Cassie took in a breath, obviously going to say something (probably argue against my mother's statement), but her husband, Brendan cut her off.

"It's fine, but, you see," he sounded rather English, "we're all extremely busy - the kids are all preparing for their journeys and I've got to give out two starter Pokémon today, so..."

"You?" my mother really gasped this time. "Sage!" She hollered.

I came darting out the room, tripping down the small step at the front-door.

"You give out the starters?" we both asked him.

"Uh, yes," he took a step back and ran his hand through his long white hair. "Today, in an hour, I'm giving out three brand new starters."

"Well," Tay pitched in, his voice squeaky like his sister's, "two, really, I already got mine," he smiled.

"Well, yes," Brendan smiled. "Tay, received his Treecko this morning."

"Oh," I was slightly disappointed, "the grass starter," that was the one I had wanted.

"I hope that's okay," Tay took a few steps towards me.

"It's fine," I suddenly chuckled, my short purple hair bouncing around my face as I did. "I didn't really want Treecko, the one I want is Torchic, the fire type!" I lied.

"Well, come on already!" Brendan jogged to the front door of the stone building, "you're new partner is just around the corner!"

Together we ran out the big red wooden door with the number "two" on it and tore down short alleyways that contained no sunlight due to the high grey buildings blocking it out. Nevertheless, it wasn't too long until we were at a large glass dome that, on the inside, looked like a greenhouse.

A blonde girl waited at its doors.

"Take your time!" She shouted.

As we got nearer and nearer, I could make out the blue of her denim skirt and her pink shirt. She was waving, her thin arms looking like it was blowing in the sharp wind from the sea. And we were running and running, running like mad to get there. We were racing now for some reason, but I was determined to win. We ran, I was slightly ahead of him. Suddenly there was a sharp pain in my neck and I fell to the ground.

As I lay on my sore back, gasping for breath, I heard a guy call out of a passing car, "watch it you stupid bint!"

The Professor was looking down on me, his gentle blue eyes the only thing I could see as the sun silhouetted his head.

"Are you alright?" a girl's voice cried. "Watch it buddy!" she suddenly screamed and a car's horn honked, the driver yelling something inaudible to me. "Yeah, will, same to you!" the blonde girl continued to scream.

Brendan helped me to sit up and we gawked as this girl threw a tantrum trying to cross the extremely busy city road. The more people got annoyed at her distractions, the more she got worked up.

"Hey!" Brendan cried out to her. "Get off the road!"

He looked so terrified for her, naturally scared that she would get hurt or worse by a driver who would not make a point of avoiding her.

She suddenly gasped and practically flew back to the greenhouse side of the road and took in several deep breaths before smiling and waving to us.

I laughed - that girl was certainly without equal, no-one would be able to compare to her, no chance.

Eventually, the Professor and I got across the road and we all stood inside the greenhouse-like lab.

The dome was filled with computers and machines of all sorts, all with various keys, knobs and blinking lights. Books littered that blue-tiled floor, which was quite reflective (quite glad I was not wearing a skirt like some people), I smiled at the blonde girl, Kimi.

"What?" she asked, puzzled.

"Nothing," I continued to smile.

Her black boots clunked on the ground as we walked through to the centre of the dome while my green trainers brushed across the tiles delicately, soundlessly.

"Here we are," Brendan motioned with his white covered arm to a large cylindrical machine in front of us.

It was grey, with green lights all across it that winked at us. At the top, was a black velvet padding with three holes in it. One hole was empty, while the other two held a red-and-white ball that looked like the perfect shape for one's hand.

"Here is Torchic," Brendan picked up the one closest to him and handed it to me. "I'm sure you'll treat it well."

"Thank you," I nodded and accepted the PokéBall.

"So," Kimi said and picked up the other ball, "that leaves me with Mudkip then."

"Yes," the Professor let out a sigh. "I hope you treat it well."

The blonde girl just stared at him.

"Thank you," she eventually said and wandered back out the lab.

I barely registered her exit as I was too busy examining the ball I now held in my hands. I'd went on journeys before and had a lot of Pokémon already (all of which would be transferred here the next day), but this one felt different - it felt right. I couldn't really explain it, but I felt like there was something driving me to explore the Hoenn region, that I would find something exciting and revolutionary.

I knew this journey would change my life... I just didn't know how...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

Hope you enjoyed it. I'm not sure of the second section of it (from meeting the Birch's onwards), but that section sets up the characters of Tay and Kimi quite well, imo.

;440;

 

[eevee10]

all i can say is wow lots of words lots of thing its great cant wait for more

 

[Silawen]

You know, this isn't bad. I like the pace you have and the chapter is relaxed and pleasant. However, I would loved to have seen more description, especially around the part where they get on the boat and see all the different people and pokémon. It's such a great spot to draw the reader in, mention some pokémon you don't often see, or just take your time a bit. Because there was very little description, the journey seemed a bit hurried.

I also don't see the connection between this chapter and the prologue you write. There is no link whatsoever. Nothing combined the two. You might as well have written an entirely new story, because I can't see a connection asid from the fact that both characters are called 'Sage'.

You could have done a bit more with that.

Your grammar, spelling, and punctuation is pretty decent. (Except for the occasional 'your' instead of 'you're' and the fact that adressing a person gets a comma; "Hey, you!".)

Like I said, I think the pace and flow are good, it could just use some more description and an actual link to the prologue.

 

[Manaphyman]

Well it took me long enough. I don't exactly have time for a long and intracate review, but I'll give you the best I can do. Lets start shall we?

Well this chapter was quite good. What you did do right is capture all the emotion and sadness within Sage, but then of course, a certain segree of excitement and adventure when she obtained her starter pokemon. It seemed like a basic OT fic, with of course your original spin on it. In a nutshell, plot was good. (Well at least for me, I love OT fics!!)

Your writing was also rather eloquent and had a certain degree of flow to it. Thats something I really liked. You also had a reasonably long chapter, but didn't overbear the reader. Thank goodness for that!

However, I did have some problems with it:
Description seemed very off. Maybe it's because I'm used to reading your work with so much description I can find myself in the scene, but I thought it dropped off a little. You had very good imagery and description in the begining during the scene in Sage's room, but it dropped off from there.

Also, I would've wished you did the starters a bit differently. It all seemed very rushed an incoherent with the flow in the rest of the story. Not to mention, you left me wanting for more! I wanted to see some interatction between Sage and Torchic.

No matter, good job, and cant wait for the next one!

 

[Sweet Pinpuku]

Thanks all for your reviews, they're greatly appreciated.

I will probably go back and touch up the mentioned boat scene by Silawen and also try to add in more descriptions and such as suggested by Manaphyman.

Sage's interaction with Torchic will come in the next chapter ^.^ I've already got a hopefully good section (dunno on its length yet) planned out for it ^.^

My usual spin? Lol, thanks Manaphyman, but my spin is more of a spiral in this fic, in my opinion, hehe.

This chapter is a direct continuation from the Prologue. The Prologue ended with Sage being sent back in time to moving day, which is what this chapter was all about.

Thanks again for the reviews, hopefully the next chapter will come soon.

;440;