houndoom15
Pokémon Writer To Be
^ I hope the fact that you could only find two errors means I'm getting a little better
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The Aero Chronicles
- Thread starter houndoom15
- Start date
crazymoose
Tailow!
wow i like this story lol! and the last chapter, it was awesome! lucy is my favorite leader/brain thing and seviper is one of my favs too! that was awesome! i was just hoping it would cream steelix with flamethrower.....lol. i just have one thing to point out.
you posted this twice:
“Give me back my Pokémon!” Lexa shouts for probably the hundredth time, and finally, it hits one of the Rocket’s nerves.
“I’ll give you a Pokémon, you annoying little pest! Ariados, use Poison sting!”
Looking at the spider cautiously as it jumps in the air and prepares to strike.
“Me and my big mouth…” she says as needlelike attack comes at her…
you posted this twice:
“Give me back my Pokémon!” Lexa shouts for probably the hundredth time, and finally, it hits one of the Rocket’s nerves.
“I’ll give you a Pokémon, you annoying little pest! Ariados, use Poison sting!”
Looking at the spider cautiously as it jumps in the air and prepares to strike.
“Me and my big mouth…” she says as needlelike attack comes at her…
houndoom15
Pokémon Writer To Be
thanks a lot to everyone who's reading this fic, and especialy to those how are commenting it!
Crazymoose- Thanks for reading my story! I kind of like Lucy too, but I don't think she's may favorite Frontier Brain. thank you for pointing that out, but I posted that part twice on purpose, to bring the reader back into the part with Lexa.
Piekid11- Thanks fo th praise! After this is done, I might go back to Leo and change things around to make it better, but I don't know, and for now it's pretty much dead. I knew Delibird would surprise a lot of people, and I'm actually writing the part it's in right now, and it's probably faring against Aero's Scizor about as well as you'd expect! I'm hoping you'll find that Alex is a surprising character in general, and I'll probably tell parts of his backstory in flashbacks.
Any other comments?
Crazymoose- Thanks for reading my story! I kind of like Lucy too, but I don't think she's may favorite Frontier Brain. thank you for pointing that out, but I posted that part twice on purpose, to bring the reader back into the part with Lexa.
Piekid11- Thanks fo th praise! After this is done, I might go back to Leo and change things around to make it better, but I don't know, and for now it's pretty much dead. I knew Delibird would surprise a lot of people, and I'm actually writing the part it's in right now, and it's probably faring against Aero's Scizor about as well as you'd expect! I'm hoping you'll find that Alex is a surprising character in general, and I'll probably tell parts of his backstory in flashbacks.
Any other comments?
crazymoose
Tailow!
ok lol when i was reading i was just like deja vu.... lol. and ya it does seem quite netertaining that alex has a delibird. and that he is a magma member!
houndoom15
Pokémon Writer To Be
crazymoose- Yeah, Alex's membership in Magma will be important later on, not in the way you'd expect though, I'm sure, unless you can read my mind. e's not going to be like, THE MOST important character, but his entrance into the story will have some effect on the overall plot.
MagicMew- Thanks a lot for the comment! That battle was one of my favorite parts to write, too. And no, I just looked it up on Serebii- it's definitely Electivire, but thanks for trying to help!
MagicMew- Thanks a lot for the comment! That battle was one of my favorite parts to write, too. And no, I just looked it up on Serebii- it's definitely Electivire, but thanks for trying to help!
houndoom15
Pokémon Writer To Be
Kacho- I'm leaving it be, for now. Maybe when I finish this one, I'll go ack to it, and redo it into something better, but time will tell...
houndoom15
Pokémon Writer To Be
Here's chapter eight, and anyone who has a sibling, I hope you get along a lot better than Aero and Alex!
IX: Sibling Rivalry
Feraligatr is blown back by a powerful Hydro Cannon fired from Blastoise, and since it is the third he is hit by, not to mention a powerful Skull Bash and an Ice Punch, Feraligatr is knocked back, unconscious.
“That was pathetic,” Aero says to his brother, as Feraligatr is returned to his Pokéball and replaced by another, this one a canine, with dark fur and an angry expression.
“Mightyena, use Crunch!” Alex says, as his Pokémon charges forward, mouth glowing with Dark energy. She latches onto Blastoise’s arm, but the giant turtle Pokémon throws it off easily.
“Now, use Ice Beam!” Aero says, and a blast of ice erupts from Blastoise’s mouth, hitting Mightyena and freezing it solid.
“What gives Aero?” Alex says, taking back his Pokémon and sending out another, this one a large, blue, beetle.
“Heracross, use Megahorn!” the Pokémon rushes forward, its single horn glowing, and lunges itself into Blastoise. The turtle is thrown back, but gets up quickly, ready for more.
“Use another Hydro Cannon!” Aero shouts, and both cannons target Heracross, shooting a geyser of water. Impossibly fast, Heracross jumps out of the way, rushing toward Blastoise, who is frozen from the side effect of Hydro Cannon.
“Heracross, use Focus Punch!” Alex shouts, and his Pokémon’s fist glows brightly, hitting Blastoise hard. Surprisingly, The turtle doesn’t get back up.
“What’s this Alex, am I actually witnessing talent?” Alex returns Blastoise and sending out Flareon. The Flame Pokémon growls, and Heracross looks back defiantly.
“Flareon, use Flamethrower!” Aero shouts, and a blast of flame shoots toward Heracross, hitting her hard and knocking her out. Next, after Alex returns Heracross, comes a purple bat Pokémon, which comes out of the Pokéball and immediately slams hard on the ground, causing a small earthquake and sending Flareon flying. The attack is not strong enough to beat her, however, and with a shout of “Swift!” from Aero, small stars of energy shoot from Flareon’s mouth, hitting Gligar hard. The Ground Type Pokémon flies up again, and with a shout of “Now Gligar, another Earthquake!” from Alex, which unfortunately strikes Flareon dead on, taking it out of the battle as a voice forgotten by both opponents rings out.
“Why are you both doing this?” Lexa says imploringly from the side. “This certainly isn’t how brothers are supposed to act!”
“That depends on if your brother is a lowlife sellout who decides to join a criminal gang just because he’s too weak on his own,” Aero says angrily as he throws another Pokéball out. Scizor appears, and flies up to Gligar as the two Pokémon attack each other with no command in the sky.
“We have a very different opinion of sellout, bro,” Alex says bitterly, as Scizor strikes Gligar with a Bug Buzz. The bat Pokémon begins falling, but before he hits, Alex returns him and sends out another Flying Pokémon, this one red and white and vaguely Penguin shaped, and carrying a large white bag. “My idea is that a sellout is a brother and son who decides on his tenth birthday to go off and train Pokémon, and never speaks to his family again. Delibird, use Present!”
The Penguin Pokémon takes a wrapped gift out of her bag and throws it at Scizor. It explodes on impact, but Scizor merely shrugs off the attack. Aero merely laughs.
“I spoke with the important members of my family quite often, actually,” he says, ordering another Bug Buzz from Scizor, which hits Delibird hard and Alex returns his Pokémon yet again, now throwing his last Pokéball, revealing the Combusken Lexa had seen earlier. “Maybe you were too busy with your Team Magma crap when I called to talk.”
“I don’t even want to hear about this anymore!” Alex shouts, as Combusken shoots an Ember at Scizor. The Mantis Pokémon dodges easily and shoots forward, readying a Giga Impact.
“Combusken, use Ember again!” Alex shouts, and this time, the Fire attack makes contact but barely fazes, Scizor at all. Hitting Combusken full force with Giga Impact, clearly knocking the Young Fowl Pokémon out before it even lands back on the ground.
“Well, I think Scizor is ready for your next Pokémon,” Aero says mockingly as his Pokémon lands on the ground to recover from the Giga Impact. “Oh wait, I think that was your sixth, wasn’t it?”
He begins laughing, and before he stops, he feels a hard slap on his face. Growing angry, he rubs it and finds that it wasn’t Alex who had hit him, as he had expected… it was Lexa.
“I’ve had enough of this!” she shouts, addressing both Aero and Alex. “I’m tired of you two fighting. Aero, this is completely out of character for you, and Alex, I don’t really know you, but shame on you all the same!”
Surprisingly, Aero feels a bit of embarrassment from Lexa’s words. Alex, on the other hand, looks full of contempt, and ready to fling himself at Aero.
“I don’t even need to be here,” he says, turning away, but Lexa runs over to him and grabs his arm.
“If you try to leave you’ll need to deal with ME and MY Pokémon, and I’m not as decent as Aero.” Alex laughs, and in response, Lexa slaps him as well.
“Aero is obviously surprised to see you, and I want you to tell us why you’re here, if you’re with Team Magma in Hoenn.”
“Well, actually, I’m here because of Team Rocket,” Alex says matter-of-factly. Aero turns to look at him as he continues. “Maxie, the leader of Team Magma, had heard that Team Rocket was looking to create a super-powerful Pokémon, and he sent me here to find out more.”
“Yeah, like you’d be able to find out anything with those weaklings you call Pokémon,” Aero says, and Lexa looks at him in amazement.
“Are you hearing what he’s saying Aero?” she asks, astonished. “If what he says is true, we’re all in danger.”
“What he says IS true,” Aero says, prompting both Lexa and Alex to stare at him incredulously. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you Lexa, and this is probably a good time…”
IX: Sibling Rivalry
Feraligatr is blown back by a powerful Hydro Cannon fired from Blastoise, and since it is the third he is hit by, not to mention a powerful Skull Bash and an Ice Punch, Feraligatr is knocked back, unconscious.
“That was pathetic,” Aero says to his brother, as Feraligatr is returned to his Pokéball and replaced by another, this one a canine, with dark fur and an angry expression.
“Mightyena, use Crunch!” Alex says, as his Pokémon charges forward, mouth glowing with Dark energy. She latches onto Blastoise’s arm, but the giant turtle Pokémon throws it off easily.
“Now, use Ice Beam!” Aero says, and a blast of ice erupts from Blastoise’s mouth, hitting Mightyena and freezing it solid.
“What gives Aero?” Alex says, taking back his Pokémon and sending out another, this one a large, blue, beetle.
“Heracross, use Megahorn!” the Pokémon rushes forward, its single horn glowing, and lunges itself into Blastoise. The turtle is thrown back, but gets up quickly, ready for more.
“Use another Hydro Cannon!” Aero shouts, and both cannons target Heracross, shooting a geyser of water. Impossibly fast, Heracross jumps out of the way, rushing toward Blastoise, who is frozen from the side effect of Hydro Cannon.
“Heracross, use Focus Punch!” Alex shouts, and his Pokémon’s fist glows brightly, hitting Blastoise hard. Surprisingly, The turtle doesn’t get back up.
“What’s this Alex, am I actually witnessing talent?” Alex returns Blastoise and sending out Flareon. The Flame Pokémon growls, and Heracross looks back defiantly.
“Flareon, use Flamethrower!” Aero shouts, and a blast of flame shoots toward Heracross, hitting her hard and knocking her out. Next, after Alex returns Heracross, comes a purple bat Pokémon, which comes out of the Pokéball and immediately slams hard on the ground, causing a small earthquake and sending Flareon flying. The attack is not strong enough to beat her, however, and with a shout of “Swift!” from Aero, small stars of energy shoot from Flareon’s mouth, hitting Gligar hard. The Ground Type Pokémon flies up again, and with a shout of “Now Gligar, another Earthquake!” from Alex, which unfortunately strikes Flareon dead on, taking it out of the battle as a voice forgotten by both opponents rings out.
“Why are you both doing this?” Lexa says imploringly from the side. “This certainly isn’t how brothers are supposed to act!”
“That depends on if your brother is a lowlife sellout who decides to join a criminal gang just because he’s too weak on his own,” Aero says angrily as he throws another Pokéball out. Scizor appears, and flies up to Gligar as the two Pokémon attack each other with no command in the sky.
“We have a very different opinion of sellout, bro,” Alex says bitterly, as Scizor strikes Gligar with a Bug Buzz. The bat Pokémon begins falling, but before he hits, Alex returns him and sends out another Flying Pokémon, this one red and white and vaguely Penguin shaped, and carrying a large white bag. “My idea is that a sellout is a brother and son who decides on his tenth birthday to go off and train Pokémon, and never speaks to his family again. Delibird, use Present!”
The Penguin Pokémon takes a wrapped gift out of her bag and throws it at Scizor. It explodes on impact, but Scizor merely shrugs off the attack. Aero merely laughs.
“I spoke with the important members of my family quite often, actually,” he says, ordering another Bug Buzz from Scizor, which hits Delibird hard and Alex returns his Pokémon yet again, now throwing his last Pokéball, revealing the Combusken Lexa had seen earlier. “Maybe you were too busy with your Team Magma crap when I called to talk.”
“I don’t even want to hear about this anymore!” Alex shouts, as Combusken shoots an Ember at Scizor. The Mantis Pokémon dodges easily and shoots forward, readying a Giga Impact.
“Combusken, use Ember again!” Alex shouts, and this time, the Fire attack makes contact but barely fazes, Scizor at all. Hitting Combusken full force with Giga Impact, clearly knocking the Young Fowl Pokémon out before it even lands back on the ground.
“Well, I think Scizor is ready for your next Pokémon,” Aero says mockingly as his Pokémon lands on the ground to recover from the Giga Impact. “Oh wait, I think that was your sixth, wasn’t it?”
He begins laughing, and before he stops, he feels a hard slap on his face. Growing angry, he rubs it and finds that it wasn’t Alex who had hit him, as he had expected… it was Lexa.
“I’ve had enough of this!” she shouts, addressing both Aero and Alex. “I’m tired of you two fighting. Aero, this is completely out of character for you, and Alex, I don’t really know you, but shame on you all the same!”
Surprisingly, Aero feels a bit of embarrassment from Lexa’s words. Alex, on the other hand, looks full of contempt, and ready to fling himself at Aero.
“I don’t even need to be here,” he says, turning away, but Lexa runs over to him and grabs his arm.
“If you try to leave you’ll need to deal with ME and MY Pokémon, and I’m not as decent as Aero.” Alex laughs, and in response, Lexa slaps him as well.
“Aero is obviously surprised to see you, and I want you to tell us why you’re here, if you’re with Team Magma in Hoenn.”
“Well, actually, I’m here because of Team Rocket,” Alex says matter-of-factly. Aero turns to look at him as he continues. “Maxie, the leader of Team Magma, had heard that Team Rocket was looking to create a super-powerful Pokémon, and he sent me here to find out more.”
“Yeah, like you’d be able to find out anything with those weaklings you call Pokémon,” Aero says, and Lexa looks at him in amazement.
“Are you hearing what he’s saying Aero?” she asks, astonished. “If what he says is true, we’re all in danger.”
“What he says IS true,” Aero says, prompting both Lexa and Alex to stare at him incredulously. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you Lexa, and this is probably a good time…”
Maybe I shouldn't be eating dinner and read this at the same time..
Quite fierce of a battle, with Alex's pokemon wipe out quickly...
It is funny how Lexa slapped both of them, although in different times...
But then, it be more funny to see Lexa interfere their battle with her own pokemon.
(but that could be too complicated, eh? xD)
Maybe the sentence should end with "which hits Delibird hard".
Just my opinion. My grammar is not the best, according to the readers from my fic.
So far we have Kanto, Sinnoh, and Hoenn.. is it me, or am i suppose to expect a johto?
Quite fierce of a battle, with Alex's pokemon wipe out quickly...
It is funny how Lexa slapped both of them, although in different times...
But then, it be more funny to see Lexa interfere their battle with her own pokemon.
(but that could be too complicated, eh? xD)
This sentence is a little bit long with a lack of fluency, in my opinion...
Maybe the sentence should end with "which hits Delibird hard".
Just my opinion. My grammar is not the best, according to the readers from my fic.
So far we have Kanto, Sinnoh, and Hoenn.. is it me, or am i suppose to expect a johto?
Legend of Lucario
Songwriter
Sorry that i havent reviewed in a while.
Its all good and I like it. Ive had been at my aunts and playing Sims 2 and I never had too much time to get on here and review.
Anyways its all good and cant wait for more
Its all good and I like it. Ive had been at my aunts and playing Sims 2 and I never had too much time to get on here and review.
Anyways its all good and cant wait for more
houndoom15
Pokémon Writer To Be
Kacho- I actually thought about doing just that, having Lexa interfere with her own Pokémon, but I kina... forgot about it, lol. The Kanto, Sinnoh Hoen thing is probably going to be just those three, but Alex DID start his Journey in Johto (that's how he has a Feraligatr) until he joined Team Magma.
Crystic- Thanks for the critique, and I'll try to use other adverbs from now on. I really didn't realize how many times I said that.
Legend of Lucario- Nice to see you again, I thought you'd left me! I'm glad you had fun with the Sims, but I'm glad you're back to continue reading my story, too.
Crystic- Thanks for the critique, and I'll try to use other adverbs from now on. I really didn't realize how many times I said that.
Legend of Lucario- Nice to see you again, I thought you'd left me! I'm glad you had fun with the Sims, but I'm glad you're back to continue reading my story, too.
Legend of Lucario
Songwriter
Always glad to be back 
Fan Fictions are better than Sims anyday! Especially this one
Fan Fictions are better than Sims anyday! Especially this one
You lost me here. People are really over Journey fics with such a predictable plotline. I suggest you read Advice to Aspiring Authors.
I honestly can't believe how many good review you got. Sure, the description is good, your spelling's reasonble, but your plotline is terrble. Sorry, but it's true.
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houndoom15
Pokémon Writer To Be
Legend ofLucario- Thanks again for the praise!
Magicmew- thank you as well.
Piekid11- yeah, it's not as long as the others, because I wasn't going to do as much right then. The next chapter will probably around the normal length.
Eclipse- I'm truly sorry to disappoint you, and I appreciate your opinion. I don't know why that one sentence would lose you, though, because if you read the chapters following you'll see that the story definitely isn't about him being the champion at all. I think I've gotten good reviews because people like different things, and my story might not appeal to your tastes as much as other people's. But never apoligise for your opinions; just becase they're different than others or I miht not agree with them doesn't mean you sould be sorry. And I think I will read Advice fo Aspiring Authors, actually.
And, to all of my loyal readers, the next chapter is shaping up quite nicely, featuring a flashback including both Maxie of Team Magma and Archie of Team Aqua. the unfortunate part, however, is that you will not be able to read it until at least next Thursday, as I'll be away this weekend until Wednesday for a school/government thing. I could post a preview, but that's not allowed, so you'll need to wait until the end of next week. Sorry!
Magicmew- thank you as well.
Piekid11- yeah, it's not as long as the others, because I wasn't going to do as much right then. The next chapter will probably around the normal length.
Eclipse- I'm truly sorry to disappoint you, and I appreciate your opinion. I don't know why that one sentence would lose you, though, because if you read the chapters following you'll see that the story definitely isn't about him being the champion at all. I think I've gotten good reviews because people like different things, and my story might not appeal to your tastes as much as other people's. But never apoligise for your opinions; just becase they're different than others or I miht not agree with them doesn't mean you sould be sorry. And I think I will read Advice fo Aspiring Authors, actually.
And, to all of my loyal readers, the next chapter is shaping up quite nicely, featuring a flashback including both Maxie of Team Magma and Archie of Team Aqua. the unfortunate part, however, is that you will not be able to read it until at least next Thursday, as I'll be away this weekend until Wednesday for a school/government thing. I could post a preview, but that's not allowed, so you'll need to wait until the end of next week. Sorry!
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Legend of Lucario
Songwriter
Darn it! This forum might die if you stay away unless you bring in someone who hasn't read it yet! But then again its only a week and you can find it and post the chapter so dont mind my random rant!