The Art of Deception

[Profesco]

How you think about and handle the different secrets you come into contact with can sometimes say a little something about you as a person.

There are a bunch of different ways to classify secrets: secrets about you that you keep from others, secrets you've discovered about others, secrets others tell you about themselves, secrets others tell you about yet other people... The list is exhaustive, and worth plenty of study.

Sometimes, you get pulled into a struggle between being a good friend and being a good person. Do you tell a secret that could help someone in need if telling might also hurt the one who confided in you? Which is the right thing to do? Do people often confide in you? How open are you with your own secrets? Have you ever experienced a secret that destroyed a person's life? Do you believe secrets can realistically be that destructive? (Man, I wish Dr. Gregory House visited Misc.)

I've had some cousins tell me some secrets that made me worry. I'd've lost their trust by sharing the information with anyone, so I didn't tell. Luckily, there wasn't anything seriously damaging about their behavior. All the same, I let my friends know that while they can confide in me with faith, I won't lie if they end up in a tight spot. It's hard to find a balance between good friend and good person in some of these situations, but doing what you think is right can be rewarding. ^_^

I also make an effort to not have secrets of my own. I dislike dealing in lies and deceit in general. Of course, there are always bound to be some in every life, but too many secrets can wreak some pretty serious mental havoc, yes?

So please, Miscers, share your thoughts and experiences with secrets in this thread. Why, you can even unburden yourself of the weighty deceptions crowding your mind if you like. (I won't tell anybody! )

 

[Darato]

If someone trusts me with something trusted with a lot of important secrets both online and offline and I’d go to my death before I break that trust. If it is something that the person can get hurt doing I’ll just tell remind them about it and in the end respect that it is what they want. If it something that will make other people get hurt I’ll make an effort to stop them and get help if I need it, but still not tell what it is.

L.F.D.

 

[duncan]

Well, it does somewhat depend on the secret. I'm going to be more inclined to tell someone if the secret is something major (as in something highly illegal, or something that could really hurt someone), but generally I will just nod, shut up and press it to the back of my mind. A lot of people have confided in me before, which is entirely fine with me. Unless there's a real need to get involved (and even then I'm going to seriously consider how telling will effect my relationship with whoever told me the secret), I will just shut up and forget about it.

 

[palingensia]

Interesting thread you got here Profesco.

I do my best to not say anything, and I have it quite easy due to the fact that I actually tend to completely forget about the secret. But I do sometimes have little slips of tongue and spill the beans (or whatever vegetable happens to be under my care at the time), which I often regret.

 

[sonicpikachu]

Don't tell anyone becuase if it's a big secret they won't trust you anymore

 

[treespyro]

I keep secrets only of my Girlfriend and her family and of course mine and my closest friends but I never tell anyone else.

Hell I don't even tell them big secrets.

 

[glalieguy]

Try to convince.... It's hard for me to keep my mouth shut. But I could if I try.

 

[Profesco]

Hm, if we don't get some explication soon, I'll have to move this to polls. ^_^;

I'll share another example of my way of dealing with secrecy. Or, to be precise, an example of my avoiding the necessity for secrecy. When I joined this forum, I showed my mom how to find the site and search for my posts so she knew how to have access to everything I could say. She was curious about my joining an online forum, so I approached the situation with an open-book policy.

I generally always try to make it a point to never say anything to anyone unless it is something I'd have no problem saying to everyone. I believe that in a good few cases, approaching a situation with an open-book policy can be helpful, if maybe uncomfortable to begin with. It serves to reduce the likelihood of deceit and argumentation leter on down the road. ^_^

 

[Tadashi]

I will keep secrets to myself.

Most are harmless, or super confidential, so why would I want to spread them around anyway? Nah, too much downside to seeing secrets turned to gossip or scandal.

However, if the secret turns out to be incredibly detrimental to the person who is affected, I'll try to get them to come clean. I won't spread it around, but encouraging them that 'the truth will set you free' is great. You'd be surprised at how often it works.

As for my own secrets... well, I have them. Who doesn't? The difference is that I'm willing to share some of mine - with the right people, of course. I don't share secrets that others have told me.

... Okay, so I blabbed a tiny secret, but now it's not much of a secret anymore, so.

 

[Jhonny]

I keep my secrets to myself, which seems like the safest option.
A couple of years ago though I told somebody (Mitch) about my best friends (Larry) secret because I had fallen out with him. The reason I'd fallen out with Larry was because of a lie that Mitch had told me. Once I'd become friends with Larry again Mitch ended up using the secret out of spite. Lots of lessons there... namely that I'm a douche.

 

[Umbreon-dana]

I'd've

I'd've?

Grammar nitpicking aside, my response to the secret would depend on what the secret is about.

If the secret is something dangerous and/or illegal, more than likely, I would contact the local authorities, or the FBI, or CIA, or whatever, depending on the severity of the secret.

Generally otherwise, however, I would try to convince the person that told me the secret to tell the person that the secret is about. If it's about the person that told me, or if they refuse to tell the "secretee", I would shove the secret deep down inside, not tell anyone, and more likely than not, forget the contents of the secret.

 

[LonelyHat]

If my keeping the secret won't harm anyone, then I'll take it to my grave.

However, if my knowing that secret can result in someone being seriously harmed in some way, then not acting or remaining indifferent is not an option.

If my best friend comes to me and tells me he's doing drugs, but hush, don't tell anyone. Of course I won't keep it to myself. I'm heading straight over to his house and organising an intervention. I don't care if he breaks off his friendship with me. It's more important that he stays alive than that he stays my friend.

If you know that there's something you can do to stop someone you care about from being hurt and you stand by and don't do it, that's the same as hurting them with your own two hands. >.>

 

[Electivirus]

I'm a very non-judgemental person. As such, I tend to get a lot of people coming to me with their problems (like Nick from The Great Gatsby, but meh, no one here reads.). I tend to hear some...less than great secrets from good friends of mine. I've never told anyone of course, but that doesn't mean the temptation hasn't been there...

 

[Yellow Torterra]

I'm a very non-judgemental person. As such, I tend to get a lot of people coming to me with their problems (like Nick from The Great Gatsby, but meh, no one here reads.). I tend to hear some...less than great secrets from good friends of mine. I've never told anyone of course, but that doesn't mean the temptation hasn't been there...

^This

When I get told a secret, I just keep my mouth shut, it's someone's else life, they can do as they wish.

I'd only tell when it's something really threatening to other people and me. (a murder, or drug dealing, both of which are somewhat common in my city)

 

[Penguinist Trainer]

I would never tell anyone's secret, because nothing ever good comes from being a snitch. I could say I have plenty of secrets, primarily because I don't talk about myself. But I am a fairly honest person, so when someone asks about me, I'm fairly straightforward. Personally, I don't see any point in secrets. After all, why would you tell something to one person, but not want to tell it to another person. I just don't understand it.

 

[NPC]

Nearly everyone gossips and reveals secrets among their own group. "Hey, do you know what ____ did... ?" is one of the easiest ways to establish smalltalk.

That said, I'm terrible at keeping secrets.

 

[LightingKimba]

Often when I'm entrusted with a secret, like a embarrassing rumor or along the lines of that, I usually forget about it in a few days, making the pursuer of the secret find me dead-weight, since I can't recall hearing one. XP

When it comes to a sentimental item, I do try my best to hold on to that item, which, Jebus forbid I lose it, I give it back to the original owner of it, without any fuss about it.

It DOES help that I'm pretty much a non-threating person in real life. People look at me, and completely believe I have nothing to hide, I'm just an easy target for insults. XP

 

[Mr. Mudkip]

I am not a deceiver.

Spoiler

Tete Rolled

If my best friend comes to me and tells me he's doing drugs, but hush, don't tell anyone. Of course I won't keep it to myself. I'm heading straight over to his house and organising an intervention. I don't care if he breaks off his friendship with me. It's more important that he stays alive than that he stays my friend.

I'm pretty sure you've never been in a situation like that. It's harder than it sounds. Trying to get them to quit first is probably better. Depends what shit they're doing.

 

[ThePokéman09]

I try hard to keep my secrets, but sometimes my ADHD gets the better of me. If it's a military secret, well then I'd choose death over treason.

 

[snare]

Oh God, please don't tell me any secrets. I'm a huge blabbermouth and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm naturally an instigator.

I'm a bad person.