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The Beta House: Redux

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purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
Hello, everyone! *waves*

As you can see, this is a new betaing thread. The old one was getting a little spammy and EmberGryphon was having some trouble with being on regularly, so with her permission and authorisation from Psychic, I’m renewing it.

For anyone new to the thread, the Beta House is a mentoring system for writers, new and advanced, who need help developing or finetuning their fics. So if you need help with something big like developing an idea, or just something small like making sure your grammar’s all ironed out, there are people here who would (we would hope! :p ) be able to help you.

Since this is revamped, the lists have been completely wiped; that means that everyone has to reapply to be mentors/for mentors. ^.^;; Sorry!

I also acknowledge that I’m probably a little tougher than EmberGryphon, so be warned that if you apply to be a mentor and I don’t think you qualify, you will be rejected, no matter if you were a mentor beforehand or not. Obviously, anyone who already has a mentor/mentoree can continue working with them, you just wouldn’t be ‘official’ until the mentor has applied and been accepted. But I’m not expecting that to happen, right? ;)

So, on to the boring (but still important, ‘cos if you don’t read these then I shall set Lance on joo :3 ) stuff. And if anyone has anything to add/issues to bring up, don’t hesitate to PM me.



Rules:

General:

I could copy and paste the list of Authors’ Café rules here, but I’m going to assume you’re all more than intelligent enough to realize they all still apply. ;)

That said, there’s one big one:

1. SPAM. The old thread got to have a problem with spam, so let’s try not to let that happen to this one. There are only four reasons why people should be posting in this thread:

—to apply as a mentor
—to apply as a mentoree
—in the case of mentors, to inform me of their status
—to make a statement or ask a question relating to the thread (the latter of which does not include ‘when do I get a mentor?’ ‘why hasn’t someone picked me yet?’ and any other variation on the same theme).

Anything else will be considered spam. Although if anyone thinks of another good reason to be posting, I’m all ears. ;)

2. All contact between mentors and mentorees should be through PM and/or email, NOT in the thread. This includes mentorees asking for someone to be their mentor and vice versa.

3. BOTH mentor and mentoree MUST have agreed to the mentorship before the mentor posts acceptance. I know mentors have final right to choose, but there was some issue in the previous thread about a mentor trying to pick up a mentoree who didn’t want to be mentored, so I wanted to make this clear from the beginning.

4. Samples should have a minimum length of four decent-sized paragraphs.


Mentorees:

1. As EmberGryphon put it so well in the original thread: ‘Beta House is NOT the equivalent of spellcheck or grammarcheck.’ You heard her, peoples. Look over your stuff as best you can before handing it over to your mentor. The point here is development and refinement, not to have someone do the work for you. Teach a man to fish, and all that.

2. Don’t apply unless you’re serious about the story. By ‘serious’ I mean you’ve thought about it, you know where it’s going and/or know you’re going to stick with it.

3. Please post a sample when possible, even if it’s not a pokémon fic. An excerpt of the fic you want betaed would be ideal, but if not, a sample of your development would still be useful. I say this because in the old thread it was optional; I’m aware that some people might not have a sample at all, but I’d like for those who do to remember to post one.

4. You may PM a mentor about accepting you, but be aware that they have the right to choose mentorees at their own discretion, so please respect their decision.

4(b). If a mentor’s status says they already have three mentorees, please choose someone else. The exception is if a mentor has specifically stated they will accept more than that, in which case their name will be marked.

5. This thread is about guidance, so if you disagree with your mentor you can bring it up with them. Just be polite about it; remember, they are just trying to help you. ;)

6. Be patient. They’re taking the time to help, so don’t pester them about when they’ll be done with your chapter. That said, if it’s been two weeks or something and you haven’t heard a word, then feel free to give them a poke. ;)

7. Mentors have the right to drop a story after two warnings to their mentorees if these rules aren’t respected.


Mentors/Proofreaders:

Just a little note beforehand: yes, I am going to check you guys out before I accept you, so fair warning. That said, if you’re applying just because you happen to have time or people have said you’re good at a particular part of writing, you might want to rethink. Willingness only goes so far; experience will go much further. Rules for the mentors and proofreaders are the same, with the exception of Rule 4.

1. Please, don’t agree to beta a story if you know you won’t have time, motivation, or just don’t want to. It’s a waste of time for everyone involved, which can be better spent elsewhere.

2. I know life can be busy, but if it’s been a few days, you’ve got a chapter lined up, and you haven’t had a chance to look at it yet or know you won’t get a chance for another couple of days, warn your mentoree it might take a while. If you’re going away or you’re losing your Internet access, then let them know. Your return courtesy for them not bugging the heck out of you. ;)

3. I’m setting the default number of mentorees you guys can have at three, but I don’t want to assume I know your limits better than you; this is just a precaution so some people don’t get flooded with requests. If you think you can handle more than that, make a note on your application and I’ll leave a note next to your name on the mentors’ list. This includes people you are proofreading too.

4. You CAN apply to be a mentoree as well, as long as it’s not under the same category you’re a mentor in. Anyone who is a proofreader can apply for a proofreader, no matter what other categories you may be involved in.

5. On the flipside of the rule for mentorees, yes, you are helping them, but they came to you for it. So be nice, especially if they disagree with you about something and you want to argue the point.

6. Mentorees have the right to request a new mentor if the one they have doesn’t respect these rules. If the infraction is severe enough and is brought to my attention, you could be taken off the list. So don’t do it, guys.


Penalties:

So what happens if you break a rule and someone brings it to my attention? Well, mostly it will depend on how bad I judge the infraction to be. Accidentally spamming once or twice won’t bring me down on you like a horde of dragons, for instance. Continuously spamming, on the other hand, will.

Most first offences will get you a warning, but if it’s bad enough it could earn you a temporary three-week ban, in which you’re removed from the list of active mentors and/or available mentorees.

Continued offences, depending on severity, will get you either that temporary ban or a report to the mods.

And if you continue to offend after two infractions, then you’re gone. Period. With the mods acting as bouncers.

In all of these cases, if you’re already mentoring someone/being mentored and they don’t want to be reassigned, that mentorship may continue. It just might end up being 'unofficial'.

I also reserve the right to place a mentor on probation/remove them from the list if someone (such as a reader of their mentoree’s fic) brings it to my attention that they aren’t betaing to standard. If you don’t have time to do it, then warn your mentoree you’re going on hiatus; don’t rush through the beta for the sake of getting it out, guys.



Applications:

Mentorees:

Story title:
Fandom (preferably pokémon):
Plot summary:
Genre:
Rating:
Mentor needed:
Prior writing experience:
Preferred mentor (optional):
Writing sample (optional, but expected):

IMPORTANT NOTE: Under the 'mentor needed' section, people have been saying what areas they're weak in, in terms of writing. To be honest, this isn't helpful; in fact, usually it ends up being so vague that I'm not sure what kind of mentor the applicant needs. The only thing you need to say to answer this section is 'comprehensive mentor' or 'character mentor' or whatever kind of mentor you want; I don't need a list of ways in which you need help, and really, it's probably harder for you to write that than three or four words. You should know better than I what kind of help you need, and you'll be able to discuss it in detail with your mentor later; please, don't rely on me to try and read your mind.


Mentors:

There are some new sections in the mentors’ application. Genre specialty is, well, kind of self-explanatory. If you specialise in certain fics, such as journeyfics, pokémorph fics, even romance or adventure fics, you can note it on your application and it will be included beside your name on the list. If you want to mentor in that particular genre (that is, help with the refinement of a genre-specific storyline), then there is a new category for genre-specific mentors.

Method of contact is also self-explanatory. Specify if you want to be contacted through email or PM, and if the former, please leave an email address (which will be placed next to your name on the list, so if you don’t want it public, you might want to hold off until you know who you’re mentoring).

Proofreader is a new duty. A proofreader is similar to a mentor, but is tailored towards more experienced writers who need a second opinion, as opposed to less experienced writers who need a teacher. Anyone who is a mentor can offer additional services as a proofreader, although comprehensive mentors will be automatically placed on the proofreader list unless otherwise stated by the mentor in question.

Category (two maximum unless comprehensive):
Genre specialty (if any):
Method of contact:
Proofreader (yes/no):
Link to at least two samples of your writing, specific to whichever category you’re applying for. It doesn’t have to be on this forum; just wherever it’s accessible.



Mentors:

So here’s we are to the good stuff. ;) The original thread only had five categories, but taking into account some comments made by a couple of people, I’ve chosen to add another two, which will hopefully broaden the scope a little.

Comprehensive Mentors:
[Mentors who are pretty good at all aspects of fiction. Best for very new writers or anyone in need of general help.]

Act: kirbyrulz890@yahoo.com
Prefers Pokemon or original stories.

EmberGryphon: PM
Specialises in romance. Prefers Pokemon or original stories.

katiekitten: PM
Specialises in tragedy. Prefers Pokemon or Naruto fics.
Currently mentoring Forestrunner.
Status: CLOSED.

Saffire Persian: PM
Preferably beta-reads on request.

Ysavvryl: PM
Specialises in fantasy and sci-fi.
Currently mentoring Libie and pokeking325.


Character Mentors:
[Mentors skilled in character portrayal and development.]

j_hunter: happyangrysad@hotmail.com
Currently mentoring DarkPersian479 and Sacred Fire Blaziken.
Status: CLOSED.

Literate: ara.shi@yahoo.com
Prefers Ouran High School Host Club, Pokemon and original stories.

. IC Ghost .: PM
Specialises in angst, horror, fantasy and action/adventure.


Plot Mentors:
[Mentors who can help with the development of plot twists, the story climax, and other problems with the storyline.]


Language Mentors:
[Mentors who can help with the fine-tuning of language, including things such as description and dialogue.]

j_hunter: happyangrysad@hotmail.com
Currently mentoring DarkPersian479 and Sacred Fire Blaziken.
Status: CLOSED.

SnoringFrog: PM
Specialises in angst, horror and poetry.
Currently mentoring Falsetta-Arias and Shiny Venusaur.


Fluency Mentors:
[Mentors who can help with chapter length, pacing, scene breaks, and so on.]

. IC Ghost .: PM
Specialises in angst, horror, fantasy and action/adventure.


Genre-specific Mentors:
[Mentors who offer help with a specific genre, such as journeyfics or romance fics.]


Grammar Mentors:
[Mentors who can help with ironing out those pesky grammatical errors.]

SnoringFrog: PM
Specialises in angst, horror and poetry.
Currently mentoring Falsetta-Arias and Shiny Venusaur.


Proofreaders:

Proofreaders are exactly what they sound like: they proofread a work just before it gets published. Unlike mentors, they're not here specifically for the purpose of teaching; they're here for the more experienced writers as a second set of eyes and to offer a second opinion. A proofreader will usually aim to give a general overview of a work, although they may focus on aspects the author particularly wants an opinion on or which they specialise in.

Act: kirbyrulz890@yahoo.com
Prefers Pokemon or original stories.

EmberGryphon: PM
Specialises in Romance. Prefers Pokemon or original stories.

katiekitten: PM
Specialises in Tragedy. Prefers Pokemon or Naruto fics.
Currently mentoring Forestrunner.
Status: CLOSED.

j_hunter: happyangrysad@hotmail.com
Currently mentoring DarkPersian479 and Sacred Fire Blaziken.
Status: CLOSED.

. IC Ghost .: PM
Specialises in angst, horror, fantasy and action/adventure.

Saffire Persian: PM
Peferably beta-reads on request.

Ysavvryl: PM
Specialises in fantasy and sci-fi.
Currently mentoring Libie and pokeking325.



In Search of Assistance:

Aladar
Untitled
Adventure/Journey
Rated PG-14
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

Ampris
Untitled
General
Rated G
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

Asuran
'Red Moon'
Sci-fi
Rated PG-13
Original
In need of comprehensive mentor

Aura Master
'Trinity'
Adventure
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

ben_pokemon
'Pokemon Master Quest (Kanto) **Advanced Evolution**'
Journey/Adventure
Rated G
Pokemon
In need of grammar and language mentors

Bent Helix
'Pulse'
Rated PG
Pokemon
In need of plot and character mentors

Black Murder Heavangelon
'To die in their name'
Angst/Tragedy
Rated PG-13/R
Pikmin
In need of proofreader

Brainiac
'Reality Check'
Rated PG
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

Brando95
'The Phoenix King's Reign'
Action/Adventure/Fantasy
Rated PG
Avatar the Last Airbender
In need of proofreader or grammar mentor

Cait_Sith
'In the Dark of the Night'
Bildungsroman/Drama
Rated PG-13/R
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

Chaos Rush
Untitled
Drama/Journey
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

Crystal Hikara
'Blazing Trail'
Tragedy
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive or tragedy mentor

CWisgood
'Hoenn: No Man's Land'
Action/Drama
Rated PG-13/R
Pokemon
In need of language and fluency or comprehensive mentors

DanChimchar
'May's Johto Grand Festival'
Adventure/Romance
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

dash142
'The Crystal Tales'
OT/Journeyfic
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

dragon_night
'Tesseract'
General
Rated PG-14
Pokemon
In need of grammar mentor

Eclipse
'Keepers of Innocence'
Tragedy/Journey
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of grammar and plot mentors

Eclipse
'Keepers of Innocence'
Tragedy/Journey
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of grammar and plot mentors

Ejunknown
'Seventh Hour'
Rated T
Naruto
In need of comprehensive mentor

Falsetta-Arias
'Metamorphosis'
Adventure/Romance/Humour
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of grammar mentor
Currently being mentored by SnoringFrog.

FireTrainer92
'Renegade Ranger'
Action/Drama
PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

fishyfool
'Messiah: Rejected'
Comedy/Action
Rated PG-15/R
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

Flintlock
'Striking Out'
Adventure/Comedy
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

Forestrunner
'Hometown Hero'
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor
Currently being mentored by katiekitten.

GamerGod351
'SSBB: A Clash from Another Dimension'
Rating unknown
Panfandom
In need of grammar mentor

Glajummy
'Pokemon Shining Nightmare'
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of plot and language or comprehensive mentor

greywolf123
'Chains of Destiny Armageddon'
Adventure
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

Ibuberu
'A Mere Projection'
Rated PG
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

IJuggler
'Steel'
Adventure/Journey
Rated PG-15
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

Ism
Untitled
General
Rated PG
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

Its-Sandshrew!
'Pokemon Tales'
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of grammar and plot mentors

johnnyd2
'Legacy of the Dawn'
Adventure/Fantasy
Rated PG-13/R
Pokemon/multi-crossover
In need of comprehensive mentor

Kazekage
'Pokemon: Twilight Crack'
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of grammar mentor

Knightblazer
'Ballad of the Dragon'
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of grammar mentor

Libie
'Endgame'
General/Adventure/Drama
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of language and plot mentors
Currently being mentored by Ysavvryl.

Lord of Music
'Eclipsing the Moon'
Drama/Action/Adventure
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor or proofreader

Lucario7777777
'Lucario and Lickilicky's Adventure--Blue Version'
Adventure
Rated G
Pokemon/Panfandom
In need of comprehensive mentor

MasterCharizard15
'A Trainer’s Path in Destiny'
Action/Adventure/Journey
Rated PG-15
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

Me_Love_Eevee!
'Double Trouble!'
General/Adventure
Rated PG-11
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor.

mespritchaser
'The Chime Of School Survival'
Adventure
Rated G
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor.

MondoTR
'Aura--Light of the Future'
Sci-fi
Rated PG-13
Original (Starbolts)
In need of comprehensive mentor

mysteriousfossil
'Wrath of Arceus'
Action/Romance
Rated PG
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

~Neon~
'Lionheart'
Action/Adventure
Rated T
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

Normalize
'Newmoon'
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

Phantom Gardevoir
'The Waltz of the Thorned Rose'
Angst/Adventure
Rated PG-15
Pokemon
In need of character and language mentors

pokeking235
'Pokemon Red, Green, and Blue.'
Action/Adventure
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor
Currently being mentored by Ysavvryl.

pokey
Untitled
Action/Drama
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of language mentor

Sacred Fire Blaziken
'Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Sonata of Flames'
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of grammar and language mentors
Currently being mentored by j_hunter.

SaigoKarasu
'The Good Left Undone'
Drama
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive or grammar and fluency mentors

Sapphire Phoenix
'Through the Eyes of Time'
Action/Adventure
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

SerenadeSP
'Pokemon XD: Battle Revolution'
Action/Drama
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of proofreader or fluency mentor

seveguy
'Twilight Tower'
Horror/Adventure
Rated PG-13 for now
Pokemon
In need of language and plot mentors

ShiniyKecleon
'The Mountain's Shepherd'
Adventure/Tragedy
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive (preferred) or character mentor

shon_taylor
'Reaching for the Stars'
Journeyfic
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

Skillfulness
'Universe 13'
Sci-Fi
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of plot and language or comprehensive mentors

Stabberz
'Ritchie's Hoenn Adventure'
Journey
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

storymasterb
'The Legends of Hoenn'
Adventure
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of character and language mentors

The silver houndoom
'Dogs of Murderill'
Mystery/Horror
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of grammar and fluency mentors

Torpoleon
'Matt's Kanto Adventure!'
Action/Adventure
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

TPJerematic
'Cherish the Moments'
Adventure
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of proofreader

Wondrous Sableye
'A Stone Thrown'
Adventure
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive or language and fluency mentors

Yamikarasu
'Strength in the Heart'
General/Adventure
Rated G
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor.

Zazzy
'The Life of a Champion'
Tragedy/General
Rated G
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor.

Zincspider
'Hand of Hands'
Sci-fi/Action
Rating varies on chapter.
Pokemon
In need of comprehensive mentor

Zora
'Ibi Fuit Bellum'
Fantasy
Rated PG-13
Final Fantasy/Original
In need of language and fluency mentors
 
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katiekitten

The Compromise
Woot! x3

Re-applying as a mentor, in Comprehensive. 'Tis worth a shot. x3;

Mentors:

Category: Comprehensive - Overall Mentoring.

Genre specialty (if any): ...Hmm. For the most part, tragedies. I've had a lot of experience with writing in that genre, and although I'm not alien to any of the others, I specialise in it. Unfortunately. Quite miserable. :x

On Fandom, I'm fine with Pokemon or Naruto. Not too fond of original, although I will read them, and on other fandoms - check with me whether I know it or not. :3

Method of contact: Drop me a PM and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

...

Examples?

Smile - This kinda emulates my writing style when it comes to tragedies. With a little fuzzy thrown in. :x

Shiver - One of my more recent pieces...

Release - I know you said only two, but I thought I should put a pokemon example in here. xD;


Currently Mentoring:

1. Torkoal. (No, I haven't forgotten. x3; Am working on it at the moment)
2. PDL
3. Forestrunner

Mentor status?

Closed - Sorry, can only handle three at the moment. >.<



xD;; Woops, forgot to post. Sorry! I is mentoring Saphira_Thorn and Forestrunner from here, which makes three so I'm closed. :3 Can't take anymore anyway - Cursed tests coming up. >.<
 
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Ejunknown

be creative
...I've looked at the previous thread a lot, and I think I'd like to apply to be mentored by someone. I don't know if anyone can actually help me, especially since I don't really write pokemon anymore. XD; Where I post my stories never get any real critique or anything. But please don't be harsh with me. XD;

Story title: Latest? Seventh Hour. But I have a few stories I'd like to have read and commented on, simple errors like grammar that I might have missed pointed out, just the ones I have written recently. XD;
Fandom (preferably pokémon): Sorry, sorry, it's Naruto. XD;
Plot summary: A theory of mine. Best if you read it yourself.
Rating:
Teen
Mentor needed: Comprehensive, please.
Prior experience: ? At what? o.o;; I write when I want to, mostly when I feel inspired, but lately I've hit a writing boom. 83 Look at my fanfiction.net profile here. I used to roleplay here, and I posted a few stories, but they never got many reviews.
Preferred mentor (optional): Anyone who can help me. XD Except KK. (Katiekitten) The only reason why not her, is that she is my friend, and I believe she may not be being absolutely completely honest with me because of that. *pokes her in the eye -lovingly* XD
Writing sample (optional, but expected):

The patter of rain fell around her, sprinkling her face, seeping through the thin fabric of her clothes to her cold clammy skin. She shivered, a movement that was lost amongst the exhausted trembles of her muscles as she fought harder against the cold creeping along the edges of her consciousness. The sound of a battle continued raging in the distance, the swish of cloaks and the clatter of kunai as the remnants of Anbu team 11 fought a losing struggle after an unexpected ambush off the border of Waterfall. Hearing a scream of agony, she fought harder, scouring her body for any last shreds of chakra, any at all, to heal, heal damn it, wasn’t she supposed to be there, protecting her weakened comrades? Gathering up her strength and gritting her teeth against the pain, she focused her remaining energies and forced herself up, up off of her side, shaking arms lifting her up from the bloodied mud, and messily sliding her feet under herself. Tears sprouting up in her eyes, she managed to finally get herself on to her knees, glassy emeralds scrunched up in pain- before her last shreds of strength ran out and she fell, collapsing onto the cold hard ground. There was a strangled cry somewhere ahead of her, and the tears she had been refusing to let fall broke through her barriers as she heard the following resounding thud, before-

Silence.

The rain continued to fall.

Gathered up her strength once again, she forced her eyes open, blinking desperately through the droplets of water that had started collecting on her eyelashes. Managing to get in focus and ignoring the dark blotches that danced along her vision, she surveyed the devastation hazily, her eyes’ travel around the area stunted at the site of the team leaders head only a foot away from her own, before a rustle brought her hazy attention abruptly back to the front- and she froze as she saw black sandaled feet in front of her. Fear flooding through her, she managed to drag her gaze upwards as they slid back, their owner kneeling, a pale face surrounded by fire drawing closer as strange ringed eyes pierced hers and an icy cold grip enclosed around her chin. There was a scuffle, and the man was now sitting in front of her, and then the eyes came closer as she felt herself being dragged inescapably towards him. Fingers slipped and scrabbled at the mud below her, attempting to tug back, but they stopped at the site of the never ending circles in the silver glare seeming to pulse, contracting and expanding lazily. She stared into the depths, unable to pull away, or do anything, heart rate slowing, as her eyes began to glaze, and she vaguely felt a hand prop against her shoulder as she began to fall forward. A movement, and then hot breath at her ear-

“Why do you fear God?”

-and then her world fell into darkness.

The beginning of it. Came out four pages long in the end, the longest I've written in a while. It is already posted up on fanfiction.net, but if anyone knows the site, you don't really get indepth reviews. There are some people out there, probably, but they have never knocked on my door. XD

I'm not really looking for completely rewriting the stories I have already written, (though I will change it and edit it, just not write it out all again, the plot is done, gone, dusted. XD) but any major advice will be used in the next one I write.
 
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Act

Let's Go Rangers!
Category (two maximum unless comprehensive): Comprehensive. Overall. Whoot.

Genre specialty (if any): I have no preference... nor do I see myself associated with any specific genre. At the end of the day... aren't the rules and basic idea the same around the board for all genres?

However, as far as fandom specialty, I would prefer only Pokemon or original. I have a pretty broad range of fandoms I know well if it's entirely necessary, but I know the Pokemon category better.

Method of contact:

E-mail is preferable: kirbyrulz890@yahoo.com
You can also drop a message at the LJ: actonthat.livejournal.com

I will answer PM's, but I check my e-mail every day and SPPf does not always load for me.

Examples: Links to my fics are in my sig. For more, see: FFnet or fictionpress.com
 
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Forestrunner

*insert cool words*
Great, I just need someone to help me check on my latest chapter. I wrote that chapter for 2 months now, but trust me when I say this: it's still a lacklustre job compared to the ones many here had done within 1 or 2 weeks. I feel ashamed. -_-"

Story title: Hometown Hero
Fandom (preferably pokémon): Yes it is pokemon.
Plot summary: A neighbourhood tough guy finds out that though the battling skills he posseses are great, there's much more he needs if he wants to survive the harsh outside world and the global cabal his going to face.
Rating: PG 13. Pokemon violence and minor blood.
Mentor needed: Comprehensive. I just have problems with... words.
Prior experience: Eh, just wrote one Digimon prologue.
Preferred mentor (optional): --
Writing sample (optional, but expected): [url]http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=273146.[/URL]

EDIT: Damn, I hyperlinked a blank page. Sorry bout that.
 
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purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
Since there seems to b some confusion about the 'prior experience' thing, I've edited that a little ^.^;; hopefully it's easier to understand now.

katiekitten: Shank joo, glad you like. :3 And it's okay that you gave me an extra sample, it doesn't have to be limited to just two... that's the minimum. ^.^;; I should probably say that.

But let's get to what you really want to hear: accepted, although I would like to say that I noted quite a few grammatical errors in the fics you gave me, so that's something you might want to keep an eye on. ;)

Ejunknown: I'm going to list you as wanting a comprehensive mentor, since you haven't specified what you need help in, but it would be a good idea to decide where you really need help and edit your post; otherwise the mentors will have to start guessing at what they're trying to do for you, and that's not especially helpful, is it? ;)

Act: Accepted, and it's okay if you don't have a genre specialty.

Forestrunner: Added, and good luck with that pesky chapter. ^^ Although you might want to specify that the link to your sample is in your sig, just to clarify matters.
 
I’m applying to be both a mentor and a mentoree.


Category: Grammar
Genre specialty: Kanto based journey fics/Chosen fics
Method of contact: PM
Link to TWO samples of your writing:

Sample 1:

As the stars were beginning to glitter in the night sky, Aaron Winslow would never forget the next few minutes. He recognized the terrifying sounds the instant they cracked through the night. His body went cold all over, because he couldn’t believe that someone was shooting a high-powered rifle in this neighborhood.

K-pow! K-pow! K-pow! K-pow! K-pow! K-pow!

The children he was looking after were just leaving the Harrow Street Swimming Pool complex. Twelve young girls streamed past him onto the sidewalk. They had just finished their final swimming lesson before the district competition, and they had been excellent.

Then came the gunfire. Lots of it. Not just a single shot. A strafing. An attack.

K-pow! K-pow! K-pow! K-pow! K-pow! K-pow!

“Get down!” he screamed at the top of his lungs. “Everybody down on the ground! Cover your heads!” He almost couldn’t believe the words as they left his mouth.

At first, no-one seemed to hear him. To the kids, in their white blouses and shirts, the shots must have seemed like firecrackers. Then a volley of shots rained through the building’s frosted glass window and the glass splintered everywhere, some of it falling on the heads of the children.

“Someone’s shooting!” Winslow screamed. Maybe more than one person, he thought. He ran wildly through the children, screaming, waving his arms and pushed as many as he could down onto the ground.

As the kids finally crouched low or dove for the ground, Winslow spotted two of the girls, Chantal and Tamara, frozen on the lawn as bullets streaked past them.

“Chantal, Tamara! Get down!” he screamed, but they remained there, hugging one another, emitting frantic wails. They were best friends; he had known them since they were little kids, playing hopscotch on the pavement.

There was never any doubt in his mind as he sprinted towards the two girls, grasping their arms firmly, tumbling them to the ground. Then he lay on top of them, pressing their bodies tightly.

Bullets whined over his head, just inches away; his eardrums hurt. His body was trembling and so were those of the girls shielded beneath him. He was nearly sure he was about to die. “It’s alright, little ones,” he whispered.

Then, as suddenly as it had begun, the firing stopped and a black blur with curved horns, dull-looking and cracked, sped past, snarling viciously. A hush of silence hung in the air; so strange and eerie, it was as if the whole world had stopped to listen.

Sample 2:

“How DARE you speak to me like that?! I’ll have you know that I graduated second in my class and I could thrash you any day, you noob!!” Having been insulted by the stranger, Josephine was really riled up.

“Sandy, it is go time!”

The small, yellow scaled shrew made its appearance, curling up into a ball, then uncurling and attempting to look stronger than what he was.

Riley stepped up beside the male Sandshrew, with small sparks of electricity shooting from her azure fur and teeth bared.

“You want battle, hey?” the man taunted Josephine, as he released the only two Pokèmon he possessed.

A small, orange dog emerged from the first sphere on all fours, growling angrily. A mane of white hair covered the top of its head, while below its chin was a large beard of the same fur. Black stripes covered its body, giving it a feline look, but the fluffy white tail was stripe-less. Its small ears drooped slightly, and its tongue was currently dry, indicating its tiredness.

A bipedal, tapir-shaped Pokèmon appeared from the second red and white orb, with a lazy face and appearance. It waved its four fingered hands around in a circular motion, making the air distort slightly. The bottom half of its body, other than its toes, was black and the rest of it was golden.

“The name Jin, by the way,” the man finally revealed his name.

“A pleasure, I’m sure,” Josephine replied sarcastically.

“Get them!” Jin commanded to his two Pokèmon.

“Riley, Sandy – Bite and Scratch!”

<Take this, psychic weirdo!> Riley shouted at Drowzee.

<…> Sandy had a serious look on his face as he looked at Riley, before focusing on Growlithe.

The female Shinx ran towards the Drowzee and bit into its flesh firmly, while the male Sandshrew lunged at the Growlithe, scratching the Fire type canine several times before a small storm of fiery embers caused him to back away.

Drowzee’s black eyes widened upon feeling Riley bite him and the Psychic type retaliated with a blue blast of mental energy that was the technique known as Confusion. The move sent the female Shinx flying backwards, but her hind paws dug into the soil, which slowed her movements and prevented her from crashing into an oak tree.

“Tackle and Scratch! Keep it up, you two! You’re going great!” Josephine congratulated her partners.

<Yeehah! This is FUN!> Riley yelled at the top of her voice.

Sandy finally spoke. <Geez, Riley… You certainly love life, don’t you?>

Josephine’s two Pokèmon changed tactics; in the beginning, Riley had targeted Drowzee and Sandy had gone for Growlithe. This time around, Riley would go for Growlithe and Sandy would attack Drowzee.

As Riley rammed her head into Growlithe’s side, it caused the small canine to become winded, and he lay on all fours, trying to get his breath back.

<You bet I do!> Riley responded.

“Quick, Riley! Thunder Fang Growlithe!” Josephine instructed, not wanting to lose the advantage she had.

The female Shinx wasn’t about to let that happen, and she bit into the thick reddish-orange fur, releasing electricity into the dog’s nervous system. A choked gasp came from Growlithe’s mouth as an electric shock flowed through his body. Having recovered from the earlier attack, Growlithe retaliated with an Ember firestorm. Riley tried to dodge it, but she ended up taking a glancing blow. She responded by unleashing another Thunder Fang on Growlithe, which proved to be the final straw for the Fire type puppy, as he fainted in front of Riley, his energy completely spent.

Working as a team, Riley and Sandy now advanced on Drowzee, who was proving to be particularly difficult in defeating.

Feinting to the left, Riley was able to trick Drowzee and she quickly lunged in from the right and used Bite on the Psychic type’s arm once again, while Sandy madly scratched his opponent until his eyes rolled backwards in his head and he collapsed onto his back.

“WHOOHOO!” Josephine screamed happily.

Put off by his trainer’s extreme excitement, Sandy curled up into a ball.

“I won!” she declared proudly.

After she recalled her Pokèmon and continued a little way down the path, she stopped and looked back at Jin, who was sitting on the side of the path, defeated. She called back to him, “Don’t ever underestimate a young Pokèmon trainer on a mission.”

*****

Story title: “Yearning for Freedom, take two”

Fandom: Pokèmon

Plot summary: Zapdos has been captured, and now the fight begins to free it. At the same time, five trainers – four from Kanto and the fifth from Johto – begin their journeys, completely unaware that they will eventually be chosen by some of the Legendaries in order to defeat not only Team Rocket, but a new Team as well. And with an obvious confrontation between the two teams looming, how will the Chosen and their legendary partners stop the mass destruction?

Rating: PG 13

Mentor needed: Fluency and Language Mentors.

Prior experience: Well, I've been writing for a good number of years, but only just started writing Pokèmon stories late 2005.

Preferred mentor: DarkPersian479.

Writing sample:

Sample:

In the main office, the leader was sitting in a comfortable leather computer chair, waiting for all of the Admins to arrive. The woman was a tall, conceited individual with bright red hair. Covering her upper body was a military-style suit. A thin black belt was fixed in place on top of her leather trousers and her expensive black boots perfectly matched her suit. Around her neck was a beautiful, and very pricy, diamond necklace. While she waited for her subordinates to arrive, her fingers tapped the work desk and she proceeded to place one leg over the over.

As a group, the Admins arrived, with Jin following by himself. Like Dave, the other Admins were wearing black shirts and trousers and long black boots. Belèn peered at each one and was surprised when her eyes came to rest on Jin.

“WHAT is HE doing here?!” By the tone of her raised voice, it was clearly obvious she didn’t want him to participate in the meeting.

The sound of a throat being cleared was heard, and Belèn whipped her head in the direction. “YOU?!”

“It was me, your leadership. He asked me for a second chance…” Dave got no further.

“SECOND chance?! Why?!”

“…” Dave hesitated. “He failed to beat a Pokèmon trainer. In asking for a second chance, he desires revenge for his loss.”

Belèn was silent as she considered this information. There was Jin, not even a member, but merely just a random person affiliated with her team, asking for a second chance. If she was to grant him the revenge he obviously needed as a morale booster, what would her subordinates think of her?

But she would think about that later, because the meeting was to begin.

She cleared her throat. “As you are all very much aware, I am Belèn Cassae Stalag, the leader of Team Eternity. Let me pose a few questions to all of you. Why does Team Eternity exist? What are our goals, our purposes?”

Another Admin, by the name of Andrew, spoke up. “We have become increasingly aware of Team Rocket’s criminal activities; for example, the capture of the legendary bird of Thunder, Zapdos. We aim to free the bird, while undermining Team Rocket at the same time.”

Folding her arms across her chest, Belèn appeared to be satisfied, but then something came to her. “And what if Team Rocket becomes aware of our activities before our plans are complete?”

“Well,” Dave began, “we’ll just have to fight them to the bitter end.”

“If that opportunity were to arise, has everyone got their Pokèmon on them at all times?” Belèn seemed to be hinting at a possible confrontation.

“Yes, ma’m!” the Admins gave their leader an affirmative answer.
 

Knightblazer

Memories in the Rain
Applying for help here. ><;

Story title: Ballad of the Dragon
Fandom: Pokémon
Plot summary: A sort of prequel to my main fiction Midian: City of the Damned, this story mainly deals with the ever popluar Sneasel - Javas Galeon Windchester as he tells his own backstory, and just how he came to be. Spoilers for Midian are aplenty, so apply at your own risk. *coughs*
Rating: PG-13
Mentor needed: Grammar. My language needs help, as always. >>
Prior writing experience: I've written several one-shots (majority of them in the Dark Romance gerne, and all dealing with dark themes), as well as writing my current on-going fiction, Midian. And while Midian itself is more of Horror cum Action/Adventure, BotD is more on... I dunno, drama? ><; In any case, help is greatly appreciated.
Preferred mentor: -NiL-
Writing sample: You can check out Midian by clicking here, but here's a few bits for you all to sample:

A loud roar of gushing water rang within the confines of the small soundproof room as light blue liquid flushed itself away from the reinforced plastic tube. The Doctor looked apprehensively at the tiny figure that lay motionless at the bottom of the container, its consciousness still away from reality. Drops of liquefied oxygen sparked like diamonds against the dark, wet fur under the intense lights. Blood-tipped ears twitched slightly as the unconscious being continued to float within the dark abyss of its own mind, oblivious to the freezing air that suddenly engulfed his senses as the tube slowly lifted to truly reveal the beast that lay dormant within.

The Doctor nervously brushed back a stray lock of his bleached blonde hair, the umbrella-shaped style haircut which crowned his head. The numerous, assorted retractable lenses fitted to the sides of his glasses gleamed under the bright illumination, the bright radiance causing the man to fidget nervously. Despite everything, he could never get used to the light, even after all this time. Drops of almost nonexistent sweat ran down the sides of his face despite the coldness. His attire – a laboratory suit coupled with a collared shirt which showed his stomach and ragged slacks, all white – were now splattered with both fresh and dried blood.

“Waaaaaa… what cha’ got there, Doc?” purred the voice of a young boy. A slight frown crossed the Doctor’s features as he turned to see the beaming figure of Young Schrödinger standing as elegantly as an Egyptian icon. The pale sapphire eyes were disarmingly childish, but the smirk that twisted the slender lips betrayed the level of mature malevolence inside the creature of which the Doctor could possibly be the only one who could fully comprehend it. Auburn cat ears twitched at the top of the mane of windswept blond hair as the young Meowth (only successful) manufactured hybrid trotted to see what his creator was up to. The Doctor scowled slightly as he shoved the catboy to the side. “Stop interfering with what I am doing, Warrant Officer Schrödinger.”

“Aww…” pouted the youth, “but I wanna see what ya making! It would be rrrrrealllyyyyyyy cool to have someone like me!”

“This creation is by the order of Herr Major, Schrödinger,” the Doctor responded sharply. “It is not in my place to let you see it.”

”But still…” muttered the boy as he craned his head forward to look at the prone creature lying in the open tube. “It does look kinda small to be what the Majorrrr wanted. I kinda thought that it’d be like the size of a Drrrragonite – maybe a Salamence!”

“I assure you, its just the right size,” the scientist said as he bent down to pick up the unconscious subject and placed it upon the operating table while batting away Schrödinger’s attempts to poke it. As soon as he had the creature placed onto the metallic surface of the table, he went about to search for a weighing scale, a sigh of relief coming from him as Schrödinger disappeared to find a measuring tape. By the time the Doctor found the scale, he returned to back to see the catboy back again without so much as a sound, poking the creature by it’s red cheeks.

“Stop that, Warrant Officer,” snapped the irritated Doctor as he once again battered the Meowth hybrid away. The catboy sulked, pouting at his creator that the Doctor ignored easily and continued to do a basic checkup on the creation. He looked at the electronic meter as the number increased with the weight of the creature upon its scales. Noting the reading, he then proceeded to use the measuring tape to measure the body.

“Weight, one kilogram. Height – one hundred centimeters exactly, ear to foot; ear length, twenty-one centimeters, paw to paw – thirty-seven centimeters. Head circumference, seventeen centimeters; tail thirty,” the Doctor muttered each statistic as he scribbled them down on his notes, making points on just about every single detail from the creature, from the number of stripes (three) it had on its back to the number of times it seemed to visibly twitch as he conducted the measurements.

It had been a very, very long time since everything had happened.

Javas Galeon Windchester had yet continued living, a lone traveler wandering throughout the world itself. A forgotten relic of time, but he never bothered about it. So long ago he had been granted a life of eternity through the most unthinkable circumstances, the images still vivid in his mind that the feline could recall them in an instant. The catboy, the Wereyena, and the metallic whisper of microfilament wires. The Sneasel remembered himself that time, a child in mind, lying helplessly. He could recall his brash arrogance then, claiming himself a ‘self-proclaimed-genius’. He was no genius in reality, despite it being true now, more than ever. He was simply a creature that refused to accept his fate then. He had tried to forget his identity, deluded himself until it hit him like a ton of bricks.

It had been a very long time ever since the battle – and the fall - of the now long-forgotten Gaia, its story now remaining as nothing but fables told to the children of this time; the feline knew they would never know the horrors of it like he did. But as the ice-type continued to live in the ever-changing world, he had seen many things. Technology had grown, withered, and then blossomed yet again before his eyes.

The feline had lived in a time, one long before humans had finally reigned supreme over the Pokemon and erected villages and then towns, like the quaint one of Pallet. Then next came the Fushias – the ninja clan – and then also the tiny island of Cinnabar, and from there, rapidly grew over the few years until the entire world was now populated with humans. Javas himself had been visiting and touring those bustling cities, impressed by the modernity of the place and astounding many with his gift of tongues. Sometimes, he even battled a few of the trainers for the fun of it, wowing the crowd with his dazzling moves and his personal signature Fists series. But now…

The Sneasel watched as the burning city of Saffron fell onto the earth.

The fire purged the now dead city. Ashes flew in the midnight sky. Shards of broken glass littered the blood-soaked streets, the light of the fires reflected upon their surfaces. Wrecked cars, now coffins for their drivers, as well as shredded and whole corpses alike filled the many intertwining streets of the once lively city, the roads also red with dried blood. And within the inferno and black plumes of smoke within the living purgatory, Javas could see the two from his place upon one of the nearby rooftops. Two evils, one reborn to make up for his past mistakes. The two lone figures stood in the centre of the burning city.

Them.

The devil and the interloper.

There was always a pain somewhere within him, a constant dull ache in a place where a rotting heart lay dormant. A cold, dead organ, so different from the warm lump of flesh he had torn from Mew, riddled with thorns, still thrumming with whatever mockery of life the fallen feline has maintained. Mewtwo cannot stomach the heavy weight in his palm for long, and he drops it, the organ descending to the ground with a wet slap.

There is no hope now; as strong as the feline is, no creature is whole without its heart, no creature is truly alive. Mewtwo is burdened with a heart that does not work; so useless it might as well not be there at all.

The clone breathes in deeply. The feline’s blood is everywhere, yet it seems so little when he looks at it. There are thorns and shards of sliver scattered along the ground, all torn and shattered. There seems to be so little blood, but Mewtwo can smell it, permeating his senses.

There is no bloodlust, no hunger, just a tainted, sickening sensation that spreads through his chest into his stomach. It’s hard to see now, through the thick sheen of bloody tears that still coat his eyes. Each breath is a broken sob, but the clone does not care anymore. Does not care who sees his weeping like the wretched creature he is, because it does not matter. All of the people who see him break will die, many before the moon rises again. The memories of this will be his alone to bear, and Mewtwo feels that he will once again be left alone in a graveyard, digging holes with bloodied fingers in a desperate attempt to bury the past again.

Mewtwo will outlive them all, just as he has always outlived each and every person he’s met thus far. He will bury them, and then forget until the cycle begins again. A cycle he is so desperately tired of now.

“Hmm?” the voice seemed to question again. “‘Who am I’, ya ask…?”

Seventy-Three/Rufus could only look in pure shock to the suddenly changed wolf as what seemed to be shadows that swarmed around his face. The Mightyena raised his head, the left side of his face now covered with countless tendrils of shadows, several of them still swaying from the back of his head. His eyes had also changed - both eyes were now flashing with the brightest shade of crimson, the scarred right one glowing eerily as black swarmed into the whites of his eyes. Even the scar itself seemed to glow with great malevolence. The armor could feel a great power, a very tainted one, rushing out in monstrous waves from the canine as his scarlet eyes turned to stare maliciously at the guardian. “Just what makes ya think I have such a thing~?” the creature asked in what seemed to be a twisted parody of a singsong voice.

Before the soul-bound armor could respond, however, the wolf had lunged in the blink of an eye, vicious claws instantly tearing and digging into its left arm. Rufus quickly leaped back to avoid a second attack, looking momentarily at his left arm, now reduced to mere scraps of metal hanging by a thread. Pieces of broken iron now littered the floor in front of him and the wolf, who jumped back as well with an astounding back flip. Seventy-three barely had time to recover from the last attack when the changed Lucied pounced towards the armor again, cackling madly.

“Just as I’ve always thought – ya a complete sucker at this… Lucied!” the wolf said in insane happiness, seemingly to mock himself. Rufus only could continue to look in shock and surprise at the transformed Mightyena before him. The soul-bound being stumbled back a little, paralyzed from the intense energy he felt from the canine before him as the latter continued to apparently taunt himself.

“After evadin’ all those stupid traps… and fightin’ so horribly just now… in addition using that pathetic move ya call a ‘Uniset’… practically every bone, nerve and muscle in yer body is crackin’, writhin’ like shit!” the crazed voice preached in his high, insane tone. “Gettin’ beaten by yer own limits… heh. You’re pathetic.” Saying that, the raven-furred wolf leapt towards Seventy-three once more with a sadistic grin that threatened to split the canine’s face into two. “I’ll show ya… I’ll show ya how ya should battle properly!”

Rufus, hearing this, quickly shook out of the daze it was in and quickly transmuted a saber made of ice, the Zanpaktou broken earlier on by the wolf himself. Stray yellow-electric sparks quickly flowed out from the remaining metallic hand and danced about in a macabre style around the blade the moment the armor guardian held the newly fashioned weapon by the hilt. The other Lucied quickly noticed it and spun in mid-air, tail glowing with an aura of bloodlust as a wave of black energy lashed out from the flailing tail, the outline traced with a menacing blood-red glow.

What the he- the armor started to think, but quickly pulled itself together and swiftly doused its form with a burst of speed from Agility to hastily evade the new attack. He flashed backwards, but before he had the chance to relax, a cackle came from above the soul-bound guardian and Rufus quickly looked up, only to dodge a millisecond later from another of those malevolent attacks. The wolf cackled in an impossibly high, crazed tone as he recovered from the failed attack in no time at all and leaped towards the guardian yet again with sudden swiftness that Rufus, as it watched, was sure it definitely was not present in the canine earlier, even if boosts from Agility or Extremespeed.

“So, what's the story 'his time?”

Lucied blinked as he studied the female human who claimed to be Javas' mechanic. The human herself only looked at her teenage years, with impossibly green hair that was tied into a still rather messy ponytail. Her fringe bounced in front of her jade-green eyes, and a scar was visibly seen on her left jaw - a thin, deep gash from the bottom of the eye to the bottom of her jaw. She wore a simple white-hooded, emerald green shirt and loose white pants. Her skin was relatively tanned, a medium bronze shade that, somehow, perfectly suited her rather rough looking exterior. A lollipop stick rested in-between her thin lips as she watched unflinchingly at the usually composed Sneasel now stuffing himself upon the plate of chocolate waffles that the girl had brought out for them all. A radio set at the side played some melancholy music with some deep voice appearing to sing along the lines about crushing the world or something similar. Lucied personally thought that the song sounded rather ominous.

“Eh?” grunted out the feline in between mouthfuls, chocolate cream lining his lips. Jacques sweatdropped as Fentagon groaned at the back towards the Sneasel's newfound behavior. “Well, first tell me what sort of rubbish are you playing with that radio, Loki. I mean, 'Crush the World Down'? Do you have a death wish or something?”

The girl sighed, much like how Javas would always do before responding. “It’s just a song, Jav. Some oddball Goth-slash-Rock-slash-I dunno what the hell it really is kinda band. Call 'emselves the Arrancar or somethin' - whatever that is. Anyway, you 'aven't replied ta me yet.”

The Sneasel groaned. “And here I hoped you'd be distracted... you still want those waffles, Jacques?” he added to the Umbreon shaman, who only looked in slight surprise and shook his head slowly. The feline grinned and without further ado, grabbed the plate and continued to drown himself with what could possibly be his one and only vice. Everyone, save for the human, stared in astonishment at the alchemist's sudden appetite.

“Wrong move, Jav.” Loki replied, not at all fazed by Javas' odd actions as she smirked at the feline. “Now tell me what ya've been up ta in the past three years. And o'course, 'ow,” she paused to look at Lucied and the other two, “ya ended up with 'em. Strange company too, I add. 'ever seen a 'yena 'ith red stripes on his fur. Plus he looks as if he's never seen sunlight 'fore – the skin is awfully pale.”

“I've seen enough sun to last me for quite a while, thank you,” Lucied grumbled back in annoyance, “You look like you've let grass grow on your head,” he added without thinking, believing that the human could not understand him. However, Loki twitched visibly at that (possibly) unneeded insult, and came down from the chair she was sitting on and glared daggers to the surprised (not to mention flinching) hound.

“Green is my natural hair color, a'ight?! Yer got a problem 'ith that, 'yena?” she half-snarled in irritation towards the wolf. The Mightyena sweatdropped and meekly responded with a 'no, ma'am' before the girl grinned and sat back onto the chair.

“Why does every human I meet understand me...?” muttered the wolf to himself as the duo back on the table continued to talk with each other.

“Nah, don't mind Lucied. He always had it ever since I saw him,” Javas replied breezily.

“Lucied?” echoed Loki as she looked back at the grumbling Mightyena. “That the 'yena's name?”

Sneasel nodded in response, unable to speak due his full cheeks, signaling the overload of waffles in his mouth yet again. The others all sweatdropped. “Hn. Well, that's an oddball name fer a 'yena,” commented the human. “The ones I usually see call 'emsevles Tom, Dick or Harry – wait, that's not right...” Loki trailed off then as she went into deep thought. Everyone else sweatdropped again. Apparently the girl had a knack for disconnecting herself with reality. Javas simply continued to stuff himself with his favored snack for about another minute before the teenager suddenly sprang back into reality and remembered just what they were supposed to discuss in the first place. “So, Jav; just where were ya?”

“Traveling,” grunted the feline in-between unsightly mouthfuls.

Loki rolled her eyes. “That was obvious 'nuff.”

I'll only be posting Ballad of the Dragon only in december, so the mentor who takes me will have to wait until after the 25th of November before I send the chapter over for him/her to go through. Just a note of caution. ^^;

Knightblazer ;262;
 
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purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
Saphira_Thorn: Your mentoree application has been added, but as for your mentorship... although your grammar is mostly pretty good, I still don't think you're qualified as a mentor.

I've seen your reviews and they're not much more than summaries of what happened in the story; at the very least you could explain what was good and how it was good. A mentor should be able to be critical and focus on aspects other than the storyline; especially because you want to be a grammar mentor, you should be looking for those kinds of mistakes and mentioning them in your reviews.

In addition, I know that you have been offered good advice for your own story by a number of people and ignored it. In my opinion, if you can't take advice from others seriously, then neither you nor I should expect a mentoree to listen and take what you say seriously either.

So, I'm sorry, but rejected. Perhaps you could reapply later, after you've given yourself some time to improve as a critical reader.

Knightblazer: Added, and I love the title of your new story, by the way. ;)
 
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EmberGryphon

Meowth Fanatic <3
Thank you so much, Purple Drake. ^^() I'm really very proud of how far my little experiment went- and I'm so glad you and Psychic managed to save it from starving to death due to my negligence... (And make a much more streamlined thread to boot!)

*coughs* But that's not the point. ^^ Managing the thing got over my head, but actually beta'ing people was never the problem, so if I manage to wiggle my way back into line I think I can handle a mentoree or two. The problem being trying to find something I've written semi-recently that I don't mind posting for the gawking eyes of people outside us crazies in the shipping section. =P

Category: I'mma be bold and go for comprehensive.
Genre specialty (if any): I'll go for any genre, though I'm drawn especially to romance... preferably in the Pokemon fandom or original.
Method of contact: PM is dandy.

Link to at least two samples of your writing, specific to whichever category you’re applying for. It doesn’t have to be on this forum; just wherever it’s accessible.

Sunnyshore City glowed at night. The power lines inside the roads that coated the ground and the sky, filled up with energy from the sun during the day, radiated a muted yellow, shooting light and power into a thousand lightbulbs in a hundred houses in the city by the coast. And that was hardly all- every thirty seconds, the pale flash of the lighthouse illuminated your part of the world- even if you were inside the lighthouse; the beam aligned with the window to your room and flooded it with light. The Pokemon Center, open 24-hours a day, was a reassuring beacon for night-owl trainers and their tired-out pokemon, and antique-looking streetlights added their metaphorical voices to the incandescent clatter. It was pretty at first, almost inspirational, but a minute to midnight after a long day of traveling, when the constant glimmer that no curtains could hope to stand up against beat irrepressibly against exhausted eyelids while one tried desperately to sleep, it got annoying, fast.

It didn’t help that Flint was in a bad mood to begin with.

He threw the heavy blankets into a crumpled pile on the floor and swung his feet out of bed, shivering as the bare heels hit the cool hardwood. His jeans were in a similar heap half-way across the tiny room, tangled up with his tee-shirt and the jacket he’d gotten into the habit of tying around his waist; he shook them out and slid them on inside-out, then staggered out into the hall. The inside of the lighthouse was a boring white-washed color, peeling off in parts, and the surroundings suddenly were extremely detrimental to his mindset at the moment. Luckily the elevator was never turned off; the doors slid open as soon as he’d pressed the call button and he slipped inside the mirrored interior, listening to the calm dings as they glided down, floor after floor. Once he reached the ground floor the doors whipped open again, depositing him out into the nearly-chilly dusk.

Walking on the streets at night- the dim light emitted up from the solar panels shining around his bare feet, warm and alive while the cool, salty ocean air swept through his tangled ketchup-colored curls and beat against his face- was strangely theraputic, and for the first time since collapsing into Volkner's guest bedroom that evening, Flint found his mind settling into the patterns of coherent thought.

And this one's more'n two years old, but I spiffed it up a little so it works.

She had the most distracting mole, right where her over-painted upper lip curved up at the center. It wasn’t very large, but it was a perfect specimen- just a bit lopsided, with two white hairs sticking out of the brown lump- and it wobbled up and down as she spoke like the jowls under her chin. Taptap, went the red pen she held in one hand, bright fusha nails druming down the length of it. Taptaptap.

“What do I do first?” Kyle asked, drumming his own fingers on the steering wheel impatiently. He’d stared down Gortrue the Great, the largest demon in the New York sewer complex, wrenched himself out of a portal to the underworld by his fingernails alone, and garnered more than sixty hours of practice driving among the semi-psychotic drivers that made the Washinton, DC area their home, and he was more than a little annoyed that this squat little woman thought she could intimidate him. He was sixteen, fit, psychic, and had a very large, paranormally powered machiene gun hidden in his coat and right at the moment, like any other young man in his position, he wasn’t feeling scared of much anything.

The woman sighed gustily, as if this was all more than she had bargained for. After all- who knew that in order to work for the MVA you had to work with kids getting their driving licenses? “Where is the switch for your headlights?” she drawled, distastefully, as though the constantly-repeated question tasted stale in her mouth. He switched them on, and she marked in her little clipboard. “Where are your windshield wipers?” He switched them on and winced at the screeching sound they made, rubbing over the dry glass. Hastily, he sprayed some of the wiper fluid on after them so they slid quietly back into position, but it was too late. She smirked- her lips drew together and the mole bounced in what looked like true jubilation- and made more marks on the clipboard. This time Kyle would have sworn he saw a minus.

“Start the car and put it in drive.” He turned the key, felt the engine rev to life under his seat, and, pressing the brake down, switched the clutch from park. When he let off the brake the car started to creep forward, but after a withering look from the instructer, he put the brake back on. Under her strict instructions to navigate his way out to the intersection, he began to inch forward, touched the gas petal with sickening caution, flipped on his turn signal, and merged with the rest of the traffic right outside the MVA.
 

purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
That's okay, Ejunknown. ;) And thanks, I just wanted to be sure that's what kind of mentor you really wanted.

EmberGryphon: Hi! ^.^ Thanks for letting me take it over, it'd be shame to let a good idea die. Accepted and added.
 

j_hunter

Weedles in the sugar
Well, I haven't really explored the fanfic section of this site quite as much as I would have liked, but I do have some writing experience and would like to help out aspiring writers.

Category: I'm more of a Character and Language sort of person, so I hope that I could be of assistance in those areas.

Genre specialty: I'm open to all kinds of writing, but I really enjoy reading and critiquing POVs and stories with innovative concepts.

Method of contact: I don't really lurk often enough for PM to be of much use, so email is probably better: happyangrysad@hotmail.com

Examples:
Why didn’t you stop him?

I’ve been asking myself that question since you left, all those years ago. Why didn’t you step in, and do something about it? Why didn’t you defend me, like you always said you would? He beat me. He gouged at my skin with claws of steel, he shredded my body with searing bolts, he screeched with glee until my ears could stand the pain no longer.

Where were you?

I never wanted to climb that high. I told you, before we began. I made it clear that we were not to reach the summit. But you deceived me. You made me believe that you had listened, like you always do, then you betrayed me. You knew how afraid I was, when I was alone on that mountain. You knew I would follow you, that my fear of loneliness is greater than my fear of pain. But why, when we finally made it, when we reached the highest point, why did you run away?

He descended from the heavens, grey clouds and sheet lightning announcing his arrival. You heard the thunder before I did, and in a flash, you disappeared. Why? Why didn’t you stay for me? Why didn’t you wait for me? Why didn’t you take me with you?

You must have been scared. I know I was. He has that effect on everyone. I glanced at you, before the storms began. The orange sunlight reflected in your glistening eyes, making them shine with a heavenly glow. For just a split second, you resembled a god. I was enthralled with the very image of your beauty. But then, you heard the thunder, and the moment was lost. Your eyes turned dark with fear, and the last I saw of you was the tip of your pointed ears, fading into nothing.

I can still feel his beak ripping through my scales, searching for my luscious organs. I can hear the thunder of his wings as he carried me to his nest. I can taste my own blood, which I choked on as I lay limp, useless, and dying.

You’re not real anymore. I once thought that you were wiser than me, that I should listen to you, that I should try to be more like you. I tried. I tried so hard. But I realise that I was wrong. I’ll never be like you. Not now. Not ever. I can’t be like anyone anymore, not when I’m lying in a tower where only those who grieve make a noise.

Visit me sometime. Please? I want to see who you’ve become. I want to know how I’ve changed you, how the memory of me has shaped your life. I want you to stand over my grave, my empty grave, and really remember what you’ve done. How will you look? Will you be calm and evolved? Will you care about me? Will strangers who walk by think to themselves, “Now, he must have really loved somebody. How sad for him,” or will they think, “There’s nobody important in that grave. They were obviously never loved.” Will you care what they think? Do I care?

You could have stopped him. You could have stood firm, and cried out, “No, there will be no feast for you today!”. And you would have taken my place. I don’t blame you for running. I can understand your fear of death. But I want to know why you put your life over mine. I loved you. I would have died for you. Did you die for me?

Did you love me?

This one's long, and it's actually an essay, but it does convey the mechanics of language.

Nature is as fragile as a baby, yet as strong as a diamond. It is beautiful, yet ugly, hard but soft, blunt but vague. It contradicts itself, overlapping and ever-changing. Warm and flower-filled valleys can exist right next to snow-capped mountains, and in the space of five minutes, heavy rain can become golden sunshine. It is this unpredictable quality that makes our natural environment so special. It can be fierce and filled with fury, as in a storm, but immediately afterwards it can become tranquil and smooth. In a way, nature is like humanity. We can adapt to altered environments quickly. But with recent disturbances in nature’s equation, adaptation is becoming more difficult. Humans have been, and are still, creating imbalances and disruptions in nature, and it is having a devastating effect on the entire world. Laws and sanctions need to be imposed, or else our planet’s wonderful nature may never be the same again.
The claims of those who oppose environmental protection laws are selfish and cruel. These laws are in place to protect nature, and to steer future decisions in the right direction with relation to conservation and environmental sustainability. Those who oppose the laws claim that we are unnecessarily lowering our standard of living for no major purpose. To place our own level of comfort, wealth or social standing above the health of the entire world is disgusting, and an example of how power and complacency can manipulate people. Politicians who say that the water restrictions are too harsh, for example, on the basis that the drought is not a long term problem, are exploiting uncertainty to gain political power. There is no evidence to suggest that the drought will leave, other than past experience, so we need to prepare for the future now; but not just for humans. Human beings are merely a speck in the pages of Earth’s history, yet we still prize ourselves as the most significant being. This arrogance of humanity is plunging the Earth into a spiral of destruction. Consider the industrial age. At the time, and even looking back, it was hailed as a golden age of technology and development. But the industrial age also irreparably damaged the world, with pollution streaming from factories, boats and cities. Oil, gases and chemicals were poured into the environment in one of the most pollution-producing eras of all time. It has been proven that since the industrial revolution began, carbon dioxide emissions have risen an average of 0.4% per year, and tropospheric ozone (a greenhouse gas, created from nitrogen oxide and carbon monoxide emissions) has increased 40% since the beginning of the industrial revolution. Sceptics cannot deny that humans were at fault, yet still we continue to produce damaging substances that alter our environment negatively, and we continue to use and fail to replenish natural resources. The recent water crisis in Australia, which has entire communities and governments re-examining water use, is a prime example of our lack of foresight and reliance on nature. Everything is connected in a cycle: our emissions created a warmer climate, the warmer climate created drought, drought stopped rain, water levels dropped, less resources were available, more energy was needed to produce more resources, more emissions, warmer climate. Humans began this cycle, and humans are going to feel the consequences of this cycle. International agreements, such as the Kyoto Protocol (which restricts carbon emissions by giving certain amounts of credit to each country, which can then be traded or used) are just the beginning, and people who are sceptical even of these agreements and laws may find it hard to adapt to changes in nature in the future.
Directly, humans can both benefit and lose out from environmental laws. The benefits of water restrictions are obvious, restricting water usage so that the supply of water lasts longer, but they fail in that they are not quite severe enough. Melbourne is currently on Stage 3 restrictions, which restricts outdoor watering to two days a week, during early morning or late afternoon. The strictest stage, Stage 4, prevents outdoor watering, but a majority of water consumption occurs in the home and in industry. This kind of problem occurs often throughout a few of the environmental protection laws, (such as the Kyoto Protocol’s “greenhouse credits” system) but the benefits of these laws far outweigh their downsides. In a survey performed by The Sydney Morning Herald on 12th February 2007, 78% of people said that they would be happy to drink water that has been recycled from sewage. If laws are introduced that force the use of this kind of water, then water levels will stop falling as fast. Rerouting rivers into water catchments is just a short-term solution, and will damage the environment further in the long run. Building bigger dams may help slightly, but if the drought continues this may not make much difference. Just switching off the light when leaving a room to conserve energy can, if repeatedly performed by many people, have quite a considerable effect on energy consumption and greenhouse gas emissions. It’s small habits like this that will allow us to give nature a bit more time to figure something out. The small things can also buy us some time to create new ways to produce energy and resources without harming the environment. These small things are important, and directly help the environment through lowering resource expenditure.
However, environmental laws, if applied properly, can also have subtle influences on society. Once communities have adapted to new laws, they barely notice them. From first-hand experience, the Stage 4 water restrictions imposed in Geelong have had little effect on most residents’ way of life. The lack of outdoor watering called for ideas on how to keep gardens alive, and now residents are diligently collecting shower water and water from washing machines for use on plants and outdoor watering. Humans’ ability to adapt can be applied almost anywhere, and no matter how strict or lenient laws are, in every case they are either adapted to or disregarded almost immediately. Working environmental laws into daily routines can have a pleasant effect on people’s attitudes as well. People are generally pleased that they are doing their bit for the environment, and this can lead to better moods and slightly happier lifestyles. In their own subtle and slight ways, environmental laws can even improve the Australian way of life while still protecting nature.
Is it too late for nature? Are sceptics and overconfident politicians going to ruin our planet? Not if something is done about it. If we work hard to repair the damage humans have done, we may be able to reap the benefits. If we can save the environment, we will ultimately be saving ourselves.

I'm glad you brought this back!
 

purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
j_hunter: Accepted, added, and welcome aboard. ^^ Sorry it took a little time to get back to you.
 
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Glajummy

Why so S E R I O U S
Story title: Pokemon Shining Nightmare

Fandom (preferably pokémon): Pokemon

Plot summary: All can be explained in the prologue (which will be my writing sample). The rest is explained at the beginning of Chapter Eight, which will also appear as a sample.

Rating: PG-13; Blood, violence, and minor language

Mentor needed: Plot and Language or Comprehensive

Prior writing experience: I have an unfinished fic currently at Chapter 23 that I plan to rewrite.

[spoil]Writing sample (optional, but expected):


Far south of Kanto and Johto, a new region arrived in the Pokemon world. More of a collection of islands than a region, Tetrago stood alone in the desolate sea. A small island, plainly named Zero, is stationed in the middle of four larger islands. With the masterful bridges recently built to connect the Main Islands to Isle 0, a league was created to promote the idea of Pokemon training. Tetrago was the perfect region for this, as each island housed different environments. After the shipment of necessary items, trainers of all shapes and sizes came to explore the region. Nightmare CO, the company mainly responsible for the building of the bridges, gained instant publicity. Of course, this was simply part of their plan...


***** Three Years Ago *****


The sun has yet to reprieve Isle 0 of its shadowy curtain. The landscape is nearly unrecognizable to normal trainers, with its vast amount of trees and mountains overpowering the land. Just one, small city flourishes in this quiet island. The only source of light from this time of day, the city can be seen from the equally as desolate Main Islands. However, unbeknownst to others, the city— named Slate— was at its liveliest.

In the middle of Slate stands an enormous, black building. It towers over all surrounding structures, as an older brother watching over his younger siblings. However, on this night, the building was empty except for four people. Four very important people...

A long, rectangular table stretched across a room, dimly lit by a single lamp. All the windows were blocked with black, lacy curtains. There was no clear entrance into the room, but there were four people seated at the table.

The man seated at the end of the table closest to the windows wore a white overcoat with black pants. Half his face was hidden behind an oversized pair of glasses, and the other half by his curly, black hair. He sat in his chair in a slouched position, as if examining the table.

The man sitting across from him was pretty much his opposite. He sat in an upright position and his orange suit was clearly visible, even in the barely lit room. He was stroking his short, black hair with one hand while fashioning a vibrant grin. He was famous in the Kanto region for being Giovanni— the eighth Gym Leader, but never Giovanni— the leader of Team Rocket.

On the left side of the table sat a young male, grinning even more than Giovanni. His scarlet, spiky hair made him look like some young superhero. He wore a black, hooded sweatshirt with matching jeans. His childish face seemed to stare into nothingness as he ignored the people around him. It was blindingly obvious he was still in his teen years.

And finally, the male sitting across from him wore a blank expression on his face. He wore a white suit with matching pants, along with a pair of white gloves. His gloved-fingers fondled together as if he were in deep thought. His long, straight, black hair stretched down to the small of his back. All eyes were on him.

“I see that you’re fond of the plan, Giovanni. And so are you, Erebus. But what about you, Ethan? I can never decipher your expression,” said the man dressed in white. He then stood up from his chair and fished inside his pockets with both hands.

“It sounds nice,” Ethan simply replied as he motioned to adjust his glasses. He didn’t even attempt to glance at the man he was speaking to.

“Forget Ethan, I think the plan is awesome!” the youngest one spoke this time. Giovanni couldn’t help but roll his eyes and mutter, “Kids...”

Erebus glared at Giovanni, but before he could retort, the man in white spoke again. “I have no need for your opinion, Erebus. As a member of my company, you will do what you’re told, no matter how high your rank is.” Erebus calmed down immediately. “Now I will show you one of the results of this plan.”

As the man said this, he pulled a black and white ball from his pocket. With the press of a button, the ball grew three times bigger. He grinned at the orb for a few seconds before pointing it at the middle of the table and pressing the button once more. Instantaneously, a red beam shot out from the now opened ball. In no time, the light began to take the shape of a fish before fading away.

At almost three feet in length, the common Magikarp flopped helplessly on the table. However, there was nothing common about this Magikarp. Unlike the norm, this Magikarp was covered in golden scales that magnified the room’s light so it reached every corner.

“Behold,” began the man with his hands raised to the ceiling, “the Shiny Magikarp!”

“So, the ‘machine’ works now?” Giovanni’s grin immediately returned.

“Shiny?” Erebus asked with a chuckle. “Since when did you start using my uncles’ lingo?”

“Actually Erebus, the League of Kanto, Johto and Tetrago recently approved the word ‘shiny’ to apply to any Pokemon whom is born with an abnormal appearance. It has made Dragon-Master Lance even more popular,” Ethan said in a hushed tone, again not looking up. Erebus replied with a childish gagging noise.

“Calling himself Dragon-Master Lance, now? God knows my team of dark Pokemon would grind his *** in a battle any day!” Erebus shouted to no one in particular. At that very moment, a black dog jumped onto his lap from under the table. Its ears were pointed like a fox’s and yellow rings covered some parts of its body. Erebus raised a hand and began to stroke his Umbreon’s fur.

“Grind his ass?” Giovanni’s facial expression looked a little taken back. “I swear, you kids make up the weirdest phrases these days.” For the first time, the man in white laughed.

“So Seth DOES have a sense of humor!” Erebus said, regaining his cool.

“That’s Boss to you, Erebus.” With that, Seth returned the Magikarp to its Pokeball imprisonment.

“Now on to the rest of the plan.” Seth cleared his throat before continuing, “Ethan and Erebus, I recently gained valuable information that both Team Magma and Aqua are extremely close to completely their goals of capturing legendary Pokemon. It is your job to find out where they’re headed, get there first and capture those Pokemon. That’ll teach them to deny my request for an alliance. Luckily, Giovanni, you accepted. Your task is to capture not only the legendary birds of Kanto, but also the legendary dogs of Johto. That shouldn’t be too hard with an army of Rockets behind you.”

“And what about Sinnoh?” Ethan asked, taking all this information much easier and faster than the others.

“I will personally take care of Sinnoh. Team Galactic has yet to recover from its collapse.”

“And I’m guessing you plan to use the ‘machine’ to alter these Pokemon’s appearances and make them Shiny as well? So what, big deal! It’s been proven that Shiny Pokemon only have physical differences. They have just as much power as a regular Pokemon,” Erebus finally said.

“Oh no, these Pokemon are much more different!” Seth couldn’t help but fashion his own grin. “My machine also alters their DNA to always have them at their best fighting potential. Allow me to demonstrate.” He pulled out the same ball once more and released the Magikarp again.

“A tackle would be much appreciated.” It sounded more like a request than an order. Nonetheless, the Magikarp made one last flop before throwing itself into a distant wall. It smacked into the brick with a loud thud and fell to the floor. However, what was left of the wall was simply amazing. The neighboring room was now visible through the large hole in the wall. Once again, Seth returned the Magikarp to the ball, but this time with a malicious smirk on his face. “We will have an army of supped-up legendaries. Then, we move onto the final phase of our plan.”

“Which is?” Giovanni and Erebus asked in unison.

“Humph, no need to spoil. You’ll find out when we get there.”


**********[/spoil]

[spoil]

On that brisk September afternoon, all was quiet on the desolate land of Isle 3, or so it seemed. Unlike the other isles, this north-eastern portion of Tetrago was periodically ravaged by horrible earthquakes, caused by the overpopulated Dugtrio. Anyone with a brain knew the dangers of staying there, and therefore it was the only island yet to be conquered by the Pokemon trainers. The perfect place for their plan...

Half of the island was consumed by an ever growing desert. Even at this time of day, the sun was blazing with an unparalleled intensity, causing the sand to shine a bloody crimson. Somewhere in the wasteland, hidden from civilization, immense stations stood strong upon a vast land the size of a fourth of the desert. Machines never seen by mankind operated across the terrain, seemingly unaffected by the heat. In the many buildings, hundreds, if not thousands, of humans worked restlessly in front of various devices. There was one building, stationed directly in the middle of the base, where all the action was taking place. Next to it was a massive hole so deep, light was unable to reach its end. Nearly a hundred feet away, where the site was fenced off, a man in a suede, black suit observed his magnificent creation. Even in the attire, he paid no mind to the heat. Next to him stood a young, crimson haired man, a sickly grin planted on his adolescent face. Like his partner, he was clothed in all black, except he was wearing a plain T-shirt and jeans. The ground beneath their feet rumbled ominously, until suddenly...


BOOM


The sound echoed throughout the landscape, and all work ceased to continue. Dozens of humans gathered around the two at the border, all dressed in white lab coats. The sound came from the infinitely deep hole and continued to grow louder. Soon enough, a faint light could be seen from the opening before a gargantuan shuttle burst from its rim, escaping into the sky. Those who had quick enough senses could see the large writing scribed on the ship: Nightmare CO. A thunderous clap followed after the successful launch, and the suited man left the scene without a word, the younger male following closely behind.

There was a shed not too far from the crowd, and that was the destination of the duo. The small house paled in comparison to the structures surrounding it, but only those who knew of its significance could appreciate it. The inside of the wooden cabin simply consisted of three foldable chairs and a door. That was it— no windows, no beds, no bathrooms— just some chairs, set up in a triangular position. The suited man took the seat opposite the two other chairs, and his companion took the one on the left. The two did not speak, let alone look at each other, as they waited for one more person. Finally, a slender male entered the room and hastily got to his seat, keeping a firm grip on his oversized glasses as he ran.

“What kept you, Ethan?” Seth asked, crossing his legs and running a hand through his lustrous, black hair.

“I had to do some last minute checks on the satellite. Since you didn’t bother telling us what the shuttle was for, we had to make sure EVERYTHING was working properly.” Ethan replied. Seth stirred at the sudden emotion in his colleague’s voice.

“Give it a rest, Ethan. The fact is that it DID work.” Erebus said, leaning forward in his seat. Ethan rolled his eyes at the young male. “What I want to know is how you plan to get away with this, boss? You’ve barely told us anything about what we’re supposed to do from here.”

“Oddly enough, I agree with Erebus. Do you expect the world to just let you blast stuff into space?”

“I’m surprised you two don’t trust me enough to handle the situation,” Seth said with a smirk. “If you two had lives and watched the news once in a while, you would’ve seen the press conference I held, explaining that the satellite we had been building was going to be used to release special pods containing man-made fertilizers, hopefully making it a more hospitable land. These containers will be dropped at set times and places, so they don't come crashing in the middle of this base. Their actions will be controlled by a remote which has been sent to one of Giovanni's top scientist. The satellite also will scan the ground for the presence of swarming Dugtrio so we can better learn their migration patterns.”

Both Erebus and Ethan glanced at each other before turning back to Seth.

“That’s it?” they asked in unison.

“Heh, are you trying to mock me? Of course that’s not it.” Seth promptly got to his feet and turned his back to the puzzled pair. “I think it’s time I told you the rest of the plan...”

Both Erebus and Ethan gasped in surprise and listened intently to their superior.

With a tone far more serious than before, Seth began, “When those four bridges were completed, there was only one thing on my mind. Complete domination over this sad excuse for a region. Those bridges were meant to show everyone the light of this company, and at first, the plan was going by perfectly. Then those damned trainers started coming, and the League of Tetrago was created. In a few years time, they completely stripped me of my power and became the ruling force here. Of course, I wasn’t just going to let them get away with robbing a dream I’ve been trying to fulfill for over a decade.” Seth faced his cohorts at that point, and his usually calm expression was replaced with an ominous leer. The facial expressions of Erebus and Ethan showed that they were hanging on to Seth’s every word.

“The satellite launch you just witnessed was in construction for some time now, programmed with the command to do what I told the world it would do. What I didn’t say in the press conference was that I added a little something extra to the machine. In about four or so days, instead of releasing the fertilizer pod, the satellite will begin to release a special chemical containing a genetically engineered virus into the Earth’s atmosphere. Once breathed in, it attacks the genetic makeup of whatever inhaled it, causing the change in color as seen in Shiny Pokemon. However, that’s not all. It will also target the amygdale and hypothalamus of the brain, causing the individual that it inhabits to become inexplicably aggressive. Fortunately, the virus has absolutely no effect on humans and can only take effect when grouped in large numbers, meaning Tetrago will be the only region affected. Bare in mind that this is merely a one-shot thing, so if the satellite malfunctions in some way, we might as well confess to the police.”

When Seth finally finished, he observed the looks of his listeners. Ethan was nodding with a smirk while Erebus feverishly scratched his head.

“An army of violent Shiny Pokemon... A few questions though: why make them Shiny, what do you plan to gain from the army, and finally, what about the legendary Pokemon we worked so hard to capture?” Ethan questioned. Erebus was still lost in the conversation.

“The change in color is a nasty side effect from the virus. It was a minor problem, so we didn’t bother waste our time with it. Although some of those legendary Pokemon fell victim to the virus, most of them are able to resist it. While we won’t be releasing them for some time, we’ve also abandoned our plan on forcing them to side with us. And the reason for the plan isn’t that Nightmare gains anything, but the League of Tetrago loses everything. With the Pokemon going out of control, some of which belonging to trainers, the League will lose all of its liability. That’s when I give the satellite its final command to sprinkle a cure over Tetrago the next time it passes over the region. By then, the region will be in our grasps once again. The only flaw I see is that for the entire period the chemical is being released, the Pokemon must be exposed at all times. Just one day spent in a Pokeball and the immune systems of the Pokemon will be able to fight back.”

Ethan fiddled with the little amount of facial hair he had as he contemplated on Seth’s plan. Even though it had a few holes, in reality, it could actually work. The only part that caught Erebus’s attention was when Seth stated that they’d gain power over Tetrago. Leaving the others to finish their thoughts, Seth exited the hut and stepped into the desert. A single cloud moved in front of the sun, enveloping the landscape in a blanket of darkness. For the few seconds that it remained like this, the mastermind gazed up at the sky.

“Just the way I like it...” he whispered to himself before walking over to the crowd still surrounding the launch site.[/spoil]
 

purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
Glajummy: Added to the list, and good luck. ;)

NOTE FOR EVERYONE: Well, there seems to be quite a few people signing up, but no one seems to have partnered each other yet. :p

So consider this a nudge--mentors, you don't need to wait for a mentoree to request you, that's just if they had someone specific in mind--and mentorees, if you haven't been picked up and you need someone, don't be afraid to contact one of the mentors.

EDIT: Okay, so I notice that katiekitten has updated her status. ^.^;; You can say that stuff in a new post, guys; otherwise if you just edit your first post I might miss it.
 
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Story title:Pokemon:Twilight Cack

Fandom (preferably pokémon): Pokemon
Plot summary:Just your average journey/ political drama/fantasy war epic

Rating: probably around PG-13

Mentor needed: In desperate need of a grammar beta

Prior writing experience:Well I've written incredibly horrible stories in the past but people actually like this one.

Preferred mentor (optional):

Writing sample (optional, but expected):

“Bye mom” said Yoshi, looking up at his mother who was standing in front of his house beaming at him. Mood swing? He thought. She was waving at him; he waved at her a couple of time before he turned around. Mizuki was standing a couple of feet above him wearing a backpack similar to his; it was a single strap the bag itself was colored black, and had a large Pokeball design on the front.

“Mood swing?” Asked Mizuki, echoing Yoshi’s thoughts.

“I’m guessing,” said Yoshi.

“You know Lily called us to the town limits” said Mizuki. Lily had asked them to meet up at the town’s gates, when they got their bags.

“Yeah, I suppose we have little choice,” sighed Yoshi, “I guess we have to, I mean we can’t leave town if we don’t go to the town gates”. Yoshi Mizuki had started to walk up the hill. It seemed as if they had been walking for hours when the two finally made it over the hill. Yoshi sighed, and Mizuki looked up.

“You know I think we ought to, let our pokemon out of their balls, just for a little bit” suggested Mizuki.

“Out of their balls?” Yoshi asked as if Mizuki was crazy, “do you think they will obey us?”

“Are you kidding?” Mizuki asked “you saw how happy they were when they got picked, and plus we’ll have to let them out sometime.”

Yoshi nodded uncertainly, but nevertheless he agreed. Both of the two boys threw out the red and white balls in the air. Out of each of the balls a blinding white light emerged, each of the lights quickly took the shape of two different creatures. One of the lights materialized into a light brown fox-like creature, with a large dark white mane, large rabbit like ears, and a big bushy tail.

“Vee!” it called wagging its tail fast, and moving its ears side to side. It ran towards Yoshi and circled him sniffing him like a puppy would its new master. It perked up its ears as the other light materialize.

It took the shape of a small light green dinosaur-like creature, with many seeds around its neck, and its most noticeable feature, a large leaf sprouting out of the top of its head.

“Chiko!” the thing yelled, in a more female voice. It ran towards the Eevee and nuzzled it with its nose. Then it turned to Mizuki and started to ram him affectionately.

“Err, I think she likes you” Yoshi said, asking it more than stating it, while the Chikorita spun its leaf around quickly. She was a strange one, she was rough, and she rammed every thing in sight, a tree, a rock, and Yoshi’s Eevee, which happened to be a favorite of hers. “I’m thinking she’ll be pretty good in battle”.

“Yeah, you know I’m not sure I’ll be able to contain her,” said Mizuki as she ran towards the town gates, which was quite far away. Mizuki then finally realized what was happening. “COME BACK!”

Yoshi Mizuki, and Yoshi’s Eevee started towards the Chikorita. She took a left turn towards the gates. Finally Mizuki caught her with his bare hands. He grabbed her and started to tickle her down to the ground.

“Run away from me will ya?” said Mizuki in a mocking voice. “Let me tell you something, no pokemon of mine will run away from me”. The Chikorita burst out laughing as Mizuki tickled her more and more. After a while Yoshi caught up, and the Eevee ran towards the Chikorita, and started to play with Mizuki and her too. What happened next was, that Mizuki got both of them in a little group, and tried as best he could to tickle them both.

The Chikorita roared with laughter, along with the Eevee. Both of them tried there hardest to break free from Mizuki’s grip but as hard as they tried it didn’t work. After a while Mizuki started to get tired, then the two of them finally broke free from Mizuki’s clutches.

Not for long.

Yoshi took them from behind, seemingly trying to assault them, he did. Sort of, if you count tickling as assaulting, then yeah he nearly killed the two of them.

After about five minutes, they stopped, and started to walk again. The two pokemon were trailing them, and playing with each other at the same time. Yoshi and Mizuki were looking at Eevee like he was crazy. Who would try to attack the Chikorita, get beat down by her and get up and try again, for the hundredth time?

“I think I have a good name for her,” said Mizuki, still looking at Chikorita. “She looks like a Venus”.

“Venus?” Yoshi asked looking a bit puzzled, “why Venus”. He couldn’t think of any other use of Venus besides the planet and the goddess of love.

“Venus Flytraps, are one of the few plants that are alive”, answered Mizuki, gesturing towards Chikorita, “and she’s about as alive as they get”. It was an out-of-the-box type of way to name her, but it did work.

Yoshi concentrated hard on a name for the Eevee. He wasn’t really a one-personality type of thing; he had multiple things going with him, he was scared of Chikorita, he was stubborn enough to play with her over and over again, even after being beat into a pulp. Yoshi looked at him and Venus playing, Venus kept on repeatedly tackling him to the ground. It was as if he didn’t know how to quit, he kept on getting up and trying to withstand her tackles, and her tackles were powerful, he was braver than a lion. Then Yoshi snapped his fingers in realization.

“I’ve got it, he’s now going to be known as Leon” said Yoshi looking a bit proud that he came up with a name. Mizuki looked puzzled at first, but then realized what Yoshi meant. He started to laugh catching onto the joke.

“Leon, he’s brave enough to play with Venus!” Mizuki roared with laughter. It wasn’t that funny, but Mizuki was the type of guy who could laugh easily. He patted Yoshi on the back. “Good one man, good one”.

Leon and Venus started to tackle each other a lot more than before. It became clear, that like Yoshi and Mizuki they were best friends. Even though best friends don’t beat each other into a pulp. Ten minutes passed, they had arrived at the city gates, and found Lily beaming at them and waving enthusiastically. Yoshi and Mizuki started to wave back at her. Both of them surprised that she waited for all this time.

“Hey guys what took you so long it’s been half-an-hour already,” said Lily scolding the two of them. “Reo and Jake left already”.

“You didn’t”? Asked Yoshi. Lily wasn’t the type to wait for people; she liked to get a head start on things. It was a bit surprising that she stayed and waited for so long.
 
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Sacred Fire Blaziken

Brotherly Gattai!
Umm Hi, I wish to apply as a Metoree.
I need both a Grammar mentor and a Description mentor.
Story title: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Sonata of Flames
Fandom (preferably pokémon): Pokemon Mystery Dungeon
Plot summary: This is the story about Rhet, a 17 year old boy turned into a Combusken. It also basicly follows the plot of Mystery Dungeon, but with some forth Generation pokemon and plot twists.
Rating: PG-13 (Raring may raise)
Mentor needed: Grammer, description
Prior writing experience: Several free writing peices at school.
Preferred mentor (optional): None
Writing sample (optional, but expected):
Here's what I have so far for my story....
“…Ugh, my head,” Rhet groaned “was that chicken I ate under cooked?” As his headache subsided, he sat up slowly. When he opened his eyes, all feelings of fatigue were lost at what he saw. “W-ha?! Where am I!?” All around him, there was nothing but trees. “Great, now I’m sleep walking…” As he cupped his hand to facepalm he felt something prick his palm. “Ouch, what the…?” That’s when he got a good look at his hand. Instead of a normal human hand, he saw five claws protruding from what appeared to be a feathery limb. “Eh, wha…. WHAT IS GOING ON!!!?” Rhet shouted in surprise, scaring a flock of Pidgey from its perch on a birch tree. Running to a lake, he quickly splashed water on his face, thinking what he just saw was a trick of the light. But when the water settled he was shocked beyond belief. “WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!” He shouted, scaring several flocks of Marreep running. “What in the name of… I’m a Combusken!” His reflection did not lie; he had the bowling pin shaped head of a Combusken, along with the crest of orange feathers on his head. “Okay Rhet, this is just a dream, that’s all.” He poked himself just to check “Okay it’s not a dream, I’m a Combusken.” He said calmly, but with some panic in his voice. “Well, even though I have been turned into a Pokemon, I’m just happy I’m a Combusken.” He said with all the uncertainty in his voice gone. “Well, let’s see if I can find where…” He was suddenly cut off by the feeling of the ground shaking. “Geeze it’s an earthquake!” He shouted. But it was not an earthquake; the ground was shaking due to a stampede of Taruos running from something. The pounding of their hooves made it hard to tell if someone was drumming a drum or if the hooves were making that sound, not to mention they kicked up a dust cloud. Rhet barely had enough time to jump out of the way, and even so, he lost one or two feathers. As the dust cloud cleared Rhet walked back to where he was originally standing. “What is their problem?” He said quizzically. Suddenly a loud stomp was heard behind him, and he stiffened. Slowly turning his head, he saw a Rhyperior looking down on him with a hungry glare. “Ooohhhhh, HELL!” He screamed, and made a run for it. Due to him not being very use to his new body he continuously stumbled. In seconds, the Ryperior overtook him and cut off his escape. The Glare attack it used caused Rhet to just stand there, terrified and unable to move. The Rhyperior raised its arm to crush Rhet with a powerful arm hammer, Rhet closed his eyes and braced for pain. But it never came; instead a scream of pain from the Rhyperior forced him to open his eyes. The beast was grasping its face in pain and stumbling backwards.
“Get away from him you rock headed rhino!” shouted someone from behind Rhet. He spun around and saw a Female Kirlia charging up a Shadow ball. The Rhyperior got up and rushed at her, forgetting Rhet all together. The Kirlia jumped over the Rhyperior and landed with unfaltering grace. Rhet stared at her with amazement. She smiled at him. As he was about to say thank you, he saw the Rhyperior’s tail swing towards her.
“Look out!” He shouted, the Kirlia turned in the direction of the tail, and was sent flying as the club end of the tail smacked her head on. She landed several yards away, skidding like a stone skipping on water. The Rhyperior roared and rushed towards her sprawled body, rushing in for the kill. In a matter of moments, it stood over her, raised its arm for a crushing blow. A stone suddenly whistled through the air and struck the Rhyperior in the back of the head, just enough for it to stop in annoyance.
“Hey fatso, I’m over here!” Rhet shouted, tossing a stone up and down in his hand. If the stone wasn’t enough to get the Rhyperior’s attention, the insult sent the oversized rhino plowing through the forest, in the immediate direction of Rhet. ‘I’ve only got one shot at this, lets see if me playing God of War non stop for ten days straight has paid off.’ thought Rhet, balling his clawed fist and pulling his arm back, aiming carefully. With each step the Rhyperior made, the more Rhet needed to focus on that one spot where he would hit. If he missed, there would not be enough left of him for a second chance. At the last moment, Rhet hurled his fist forward with all his might. It was a direct hit right between that bull Rhyperior’s legs, it wasn’t enough to do any real damage, but a jump in pain was all Rhet needed. As the Rhyperior attempted to ground pound the spot where he was standing, Rhet did a base slide under the legs. Jamming his claws into the tough hide, he pulled himself up the armor like back of the rhino beast, landing on its head and slamming his fists down on the head. The thrashing coming from his opponent forced Rhet to jump up into the light of the sun. The sunrays radiating from behind Rhet forced the Rhyperior to squint to spot its opponent. All it saw was a three toed bird foot smacking down between its eyes. Even Rhet was amazed that he actually did that without getting himself killed, or even how he did what he did. The loud crash that occurred when the Rhyperior fell to the ground snapped him back to reality
 
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purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
Okay, Sacred Fire Blaziken, you've been added to the list, and I'm assuming that by 'description mentor' you mean a 'language mentor'. ;) Also, apologies to Kazekage; I hadn't realized that you'd edited your post to fix your application, but you're now added to the list too.
 
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