I’m hereby re-applying to be a mentor.
Category: Grammar
Genre specialty: Kanto based journey fics
Method of contact: PM
Link to TWO samples of your writing:
Sample 1:
Chapter 2, part 2: Maggie’s Past Recalled
After making sure that he was a fair distance away from Pallet Town, Paul stopped and placed his backpack on the ground as he pulled a bottle of Revive out. He then proceeded to spray the contents of the bottle on his fainted Pokémon partner, Maggie. Within a few moments, Maggie had been fully revived and as she looked up at Paul, tears streamed down her beautiful red, fox-like face.
<I’m so sorry,> she moaned.
Paul replied, “Maggie, why would you be sorry? You did the best you could. Even I wasn’t expecting that he’d use a technique you knew nothing of. Why apologize?”
<Because I’m a clone!> Maggie wailed.
<Clones are meant to be quite strong… and there I was, beaten by one attack. I hit him at least three times. I feel like filth… it’s unspeakable… beaten by a fellow clone… beaten by one attack…>
Paul questioned his partner. “What gave you the impression you could beat Eevee? Keep in mind that he’s three months older than you.”
Beginning to calm down, Maggie replied, <I don’t know… I just thought I could…>
Paul sighed, placed Vulpix on the ground and asked the question that had been on his mind since he’d met Maggie five weeks earlier.
“When we first met, I noticed some strange Pokémon standing next to a clump of trees, as if they were saying goodbye to you. Who were they?”
Surprised, and having thought that her one-time friends had vanished when she went over to Paul; she turned away and mumbled something about fellow cloned Pokémon.
“Maggie, are you hiding something from me? I distinctly remember saying ‘no secrets’,” Paul said.
Maggie felt trapped, but knew she had to tell Paul the truth.
<Yes, they were saying goodbye to me. They were clones, like myself and Eevee. They were Rapidash, Grovyle, Vaporeon and Arcanine. Rapidash had a horn made of crystal, deep violet-blue flames and a light gray body. Grovyle had a white head leaf and the rest of his body was bluish-silver in color. Vaporeon had a black body and her type had been changed from pure Water to Water/Poison. And finally, Arcanine had Suicune’s purple mane and two ribbon-like tails.>
“And what led to you meeting them?” Paul asked, his curiosity aroused.
<It’s a long story…> came the response.
“That’s fine with me. We can continue onto Viridian City while you explain everything, because I’d like to know.” Paul said, picking up his backpack and putting it on his back.
Maggie hesitated for a few seconds, but then started to explain everything that she could remember.
<I remember nothing of hatching out of a Pokémon egg… what I do remember, though, is just being there… alive… and I was being licked by a Ninetales. I recall that it was very wet… and then, others of my kind… I found out later I was a Vulpix… looked at me. I remember that their eyes showed an emotion, called hatred – as I discovered from the Ninetales. I asked them why they were looking at me like that and one replied, <Even if you are a Vulpix, which you’re not, we don’t talk to freaks like you.> The voice sounded masculine, so it appeared that the Vulpix who had spoken to me was a male.
As I only wanted to make friends, I became very upset and ran off, hearing the worried howls of the Ninetales behind me. After a while, I found some running water. Still very upset, I looked at the water… looking at my reflection. It was then that I realized why the male Vulpix had said what he’d said. I was so different… it was no wonder why those Vulpix had looked at me the way they did.
I wasn’t the color Vulpix were meant to be… instead I was a reddish-purple color. Then I wondered why I couldn’t see out of my right eye. I looked at the water again and saw that my right eye was completely white. I later found out I was blind… unable to see out of that eye ever again.
Night fell quickly and I found a hole in the bottom of a nearby tree that I was able to use for the night. As I slept, I was constantly disturbed by an image in my dreams. It was the image of a Ninetales, kept prisoner in a building with eleven other Pokémon. When I focused on the image of the Ninetales, I heard words… faint at first, but then they became clearer. <Grayhorn… take care of my dear Maggie… tell her about what we are… she needs to know…> The words faded into silence. I heard a high-pitched howl of pain… the image of the Ninetales vanished. The next thing I knew, I saw the body of Ninetales being carried off on a stretcher.
I woke up, frightened by the dream… then I realized sweat was pouring off me. In an attempt to keep warm, I purposefully intensified the fire in my stomach. It worked, and as I recovered from the fright, I thought about the dream. <Who was this Grayhorn?> I asked myself. <Maggie? Is that my name? What we are? What am I?> I shook my head, feeling very confused. Looking upwards, I noticed that the night sky was changing color.
I watched, in awe, as the sun rose… and as sunlight broke through the tree branches. Remembering the dream, I felt a desire to find this Grayhorn character and discover the truth. I got up, left the hole and raised my head, sniffing the air. I was looking for a scent that would lead me out of the forest. After about five minutes, I smelt the scent of a creature I couldn’t identify. I followed the scent trail and as it led me out of the forest, I wondered what Grayhorn would be able to tell me about the dream. Having left the forest for good, I came across an open meadow with strange Pokémon dotted all over the place.
Suddenly, I lost the scent and stopped short, confused. As I stood there, a thundering noise could be heard in the distance. I sat down, feeling as though I would cry at any moment. The thundering noise seemed a lot closer and louder. A scream split the air and before I realized what was going on, a Pokémon stood over me, rearing and screaming defiance at the herd of brown bull Pokémon that were known as Tauros who were charging in my direction. The herd separated and went in two different directions. The Pokémon placed its hooves on the ground, moved to one side and looked at me.
<You’re a very pretty Pokémon,> the stranger said.
<Who are you?> I asked politely.
<My name is Grayhorn. I’m a Rapidash,> the Pokémon replied.
<Grayhorn?> I questioned.
<I had a dream about you and a Ninetales…> I trailed off as I recognized pain in the Rapidash’s eyes.
<A vision, hmm? It seems like I’ve got no choice but to tell you the truth,> Grayhorn answered.
<I hope you’re ready for this… I am a clone, just like the Ninetales and, of course, you. Clones are Pokémon who have been genetically engineered. That means our genetic structure has been altered to change our normal body colors, add new DNA to the original DNA, give us new types, hinder our senses… even attempt to upgrade certain parts of our bodies. How do you think I ended up with this horn of crystal? Horn upgrade failure, that’s how.>
<DNA? What’s that? Hinder our senses? Is that how I ended up blind in my right eye?> I asked, becoming confused.
<DNA, or deoxyribonucleic acid, is the genetic makeup of one’s body – it determines who we are. Yes, sadly, it’s true. When your mother gave birth to you, she had no idea that, two weeks earlier, she’d been injected with something that would make you permanently blind in your right eye. As soon as you were born, the scientists removed you from the laboratory and placed you in the care of a normal Ninetales. Your mother was very distressed… she refused to eat and the scientists threatened to kill her if she continued that way. She had no other option but to start eating again,> Grayhorn explained, sadness evident in his voice.
<What happened to my mother?> I asked, guessing that my mother was the Ninetales that had been in my dream.
<That’s why we’re here,> Rapidash paused, threw up his head and whinnied. Moments later, three other Pokémon… I guessed that they, too, were clones… appeared.
A slender bluish-silver reptilian creature jumped out of a nearby tree. Sleek and aerodynamic, its front limbs and backside were adorned with broad, thin leaves. An especially long white leaf, almost the length of its body, grew from the very top of its head and curved downward behind its back. Standing on its two rear feet, its steel-blue colored underside was clearly visible.
A black colored creature emerged from the lake beside me, crouching on all fours. Two fins were on either side of its head, where a set of ears would normally be and were colored black. A third fin, similar in color to the first two, wiggled ever so slightly, mimicking the movements of its fluttery collar. Its slender body terminated in a mermaid-like tail fin that wagged back and forth in a steady rhythm.
A tall, orange lionesque canine stood proudly as it slowly took steps forward, after jumping over a boulder. There were black stripes on most of its body and creamy, bushy fur sprouted from the legs and underside. However, the mane was a shining purple, and the normally fluffy tail was actually two small, ribbon-like tails, that swerved by movements known only to them.
<This is Iron, the Grovyle – he had to endure a type changing experiment to become what he is now… say hello Iron.>
The Grass/Steel Pokémon winked and waved a clawed hand.
<This is Aurora, the Water/Poison Vaporeon. She’s very skilled at using both water and poison attacks.>
Aurora shifted her tail in greeting… I nodded in response.
<And finally, this is Inferno. I made sure I got him out because of the fact that he’s a failed Suicune clone.>
Inferno nodded and the three Pokémon turned to Grayhorn. Iron asked the question that most concerned the four clones. <What if,> he began in a reedy voice, <the scientists come looking for us? I think we should move on. We’re still too close to the laboratory where we were created.>
Aurora disagreed, saying in a soft, bubbly voice, <I don’t think they will. Why do you think we left at the darkest hour? It was so Persian, Houndoom, Charizard, Dragonite, Pidgeot, Scyther and Umbreon would be asleep and so that the scientists wouldn’t find out until much later.>
I decided to remind Grayhorn about what he’d planned to tell me. <Excuse me, sorry to interrupt. Grayhorn, you were going to tell me about what happened to my mother?>
Grayhorn looked slightly embarrassed. <Yes, I was. Sorry. Your mother was one of our friends… she was a Ninetales. Not even one minute after she’d finished talking to me, she was taken away and killed by one of the scientists. I’m sorry you never saw your mother.>
I stared at Rapidash and felt very sad… seconds later, tears flowed freely down my face.
Aurora shook her head in disbelief and rebuked Grayhorn. <Did you have to do that?! Look at her… she’s only a baby and you go and tell her that her mother’s dead?! You shouldn’t have mentioned anything about Rose.>
Rapidash rolled his eyes. <Aurora, honestly! She wanted to know.>
Inferno, the failed Suicune clone, interrupted the disagreement. <Aurora, Grayhorn… stop fighting. Now, look over there.>
Vaporeon and Rapidash watched as a young male human exited a small wooden hut and sat on a chair in front of the hut.
Grayhorn narrowed his eyes and then lowered his head to my level. <Maggie… yes, that is your name. Maggie, do you see that human? Go to him and he will take care of you.>
I looked at the human and turned my attention back to Rapidash. <How do you know? What if I end up like my mother?>
Rapidash shook his head, saying, <He won’t kill you. He’s too young – he doesn’t have an evil mind. Go now.>
I left my friends and cautiously walked over to the human.
A couple of minutes later, the human looked around and noticed me. The boy smiled and picked me up, saying, “You’re a beautiful Pokémon. What’s your name?”
I felt a strange emotion… happiness… and I revealed my name. <I’m called Maggie.>
“My name is Paul. I’ll look after you. In five weeks, I’ll be a Pokémon trainer. I’ll ask my grandfather if I’m able to keep you,” Paul said, as he carried me to a huge white building, which turned out be where he lived.
<And that, Paul, is my story. Now you know what I had to endure before finding you,> Maggie concluded.
As Paul and his partner checked into the Viridian City Pokémon Center, Paul said, “Wow. That’s… incredible. I’m sorry I even pestered you about this.”
Maggie replied, <It’s okay. I understand that you needed to know.>
Sample 2:
This is an excerpt of chapter 3…
A couple of minutes later, Josephine heard the approaching sound of canine baying, and before she could even wonder too much more about Jin, a pack of black-furred Pokémon came bounding up the trail, flanking a blue-uniformed policewoman on a motorcycle. Sunlight flashed off the long horns curving wickedly back from their slim heads, gleaming over the bony strips of armor arcing over their backs, and their arrow-tipped tails lashed behind them as they ran.
The officer screeched to a halt in front of Josephine, kicking up a cloud of dust.
“Good day to you. I’m Officer Jenny. I heard a suspicious person was in the area. Did you see which way they went?” the policewoman introduced herself as she dismounted her bike.
‘
Suspicious person?’ Josephine thought quickly. ‘
The only person I’ve seen is that Jin guy…’
“I’m just a beginner trainer, but I did see an Asian man. I defeated him in a Pokémon battle,” she replied, pointing behind her in the direction of Pallet. Hopping back onto her bike, Jenny paused and asked for the teenager’s name. Josephine readily gave her name to the policewoman, who thanked her and sped off, the Houndoom following close behind.
Half an hour later, Jin was standing in a base hidden by thick undergrowth in a clearing; the base was just one of many owned by Eternity. It was an old, timeworn factory; its old red brick façade was crumbling, with poison ivy growing at least halfway up the walls. Parked off to the side was a green Holden Commodore Executive series two.
Jin was facing a man who had his back turned to him. He hastily thought of an apology, and was about to speak when the figure turned towards him.
The figure was a tall man, wearing a black shirt, with a white “E” imprinted on its left pocket, and black trousers. He had long, flowing blonde colored hair; two locks of which came down on either side of his face and the fringe just above his eyes, with the rest going down to around his waist. His eyes were kind of reddish-brown and he had on a pair of long black boots. His right hand fiddled with a Pokéball on his Pokébelt as he addressed Jin, glaring at him at the same time.
“The leader will not be happy when she discovers that you have let the team down…”
“Please give second chance, Dave. I need to be part of Eternity. I need revenge!!” Jin replied.
Dave sighed, answering with, “You’re in luck. Belèn has called a meeting that is to take place very soon. And while you’re at it, I’m an Admin, remember? You will address me properly next time, won’t you?”
“My apology,” Jin responded.
“Fine, fine. Just go and get ready for the meeting,” Dave snapped.
In the main office, the leader was sitting in a comfortable leather computer chair, waiting for all of the Admins to arrive. The woman was a tall individual, who had too high an opinion of herself, with bright red hair. Covering her upper body was a military-style suit, a thin black belt was fixed in place on top of her leather trousers and her expensive black boots perfectly matched her suit. Around her neck was a beautiful, and very pricy, diamond necklace. While she waited for her subordinates to arrive, her fingers tapped the work desk and she proceeded to place one leg over the other.
As a group, the Admins arrived, with Jin following by himself. Like Dave, the other Admins were wearing black shirts and trousers and long black boots. Belèn peered at each one and was surprised when her eyes came to rest on Jin.
“WHAT is HE doing
here?!” By the tone of her raised voice, it was clearly obvious she didn’t want him to participate in the meeting.
The sound of a throat being cleared was heard, and Belèn whipped her head in that direction. “YOU?!”
“It was me, your leadership. He asked me for a second chance…” Dave got no further.
“SECOND chance?! Why?!”
“…” Dave hesitated. “He failed to beat a Pokémon trainer. In asking for a second chance, he desires revenge for his loss.”
Belèn was silent as she considered this information. ‘
Here’s Jin, not even a member, but merely just a random person affiliated with my team, asking for a second chance. If I were to grant him the revenge he obviously needs as a morale booster, what will my subordinates think of me?’
But she would have to think about that at another time, because the meeting was due to start.
She cleared her throat. “As you are all very much aware, I am Belèn Cassae Stalag, the leader of Eternity. Let me pose a few questions to all of you. Why does Eternity exist? What are our goals, our purposes?”
Another Admin, by the name of Andrew, spoke up. “We have become increasingly aware of Team Rocket’s criminal activities; for example, the ongoing illegal Pokémon cloning and the related kidnapping of a trainer’s father. We aim to stop the cloning and free the man, while undermining Team Rocket at the same time.”
Folding her arms across her chest, Belèn appeared to be satisfied, but then a thought came to her. “And what if Team Rocket becomes aware of our activities before our plans are complete?”
“Well,” Dave began, “we’ll just have to fight them to the bitter end.”
“If that opportunity were to arise, has everyone got their Pokémon on them at all times?” Belèn seemed to be hinting at a possible confrontation.
“Yes, boss!” the Admins gave their leader an affirmative answer.
