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The cape of the Ninetails

deoxysmaster8000

no-one can beat me!!
uhh, germany? oh wellz, just remember that were here for ya, you need ideas, were here :D were the public, were were to help(even if you dont want it) so pm us if you need ideas(or the next chappie is finnaly up)
 

Mysteria Pearl

Queen of Mushy-ness!
sigh... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhg. I had another "collapse" I was at school, On Monday, in World History to be exact when it felt like the inside of my head just... oh... how shall I describe it?......................................................
It felt like my head either blew up or got run over by a train. I blacked out and had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days and just now, I've finished with Spanish homework so I'm taking a break from all my make-up junk (cuz it's saturday) so, I have exactally... 3 minutes and 48 seconds until I have to get off and rest. Sorry! I'll try and get on tomorrow! If i'm not... please don't hurt me... *gets really tiny*
 

Nylf

Well-Known Member
Listen, just take your time, and don't worry. Your health comes first. You shouldn't burn yourself out just to please some faceless people you know through a computer screen. We'll be patient,(well I will), so just don't burn out, kay?
 

Felix Feral Fezirix

Densetsu no Pikachu!
We'd rather wait longer than see your extinction either in the form of teachers, illnesses, or crazy people walking down the street brandishing a lethal weapon. We'll wait longer, BUT DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON US! Thank you.

Like the CHinese saying goes, "Rest is for walking a greater distance."
 
M

mindripper

Guest
Hey MP, take your time, no use rushing and then coming up with something sub-par, right? You mind if I come around witha review in the next couple days? No I have not forgotten! See you!
 

Mysteria Pearl

Queen of Mushy-ness!
Hello everyone! Thank you so very much for waiting and being so kind and patient! As soon as I find my written notes, TONIGHT I will try and start typing it!

Jaquta- a very fancy sweet, kind of like a mini house

Just as a small reminder, Keuyu is pronounced KEY-OOH-YOU and Matuke is pronounced MAH-TOO-KAY. Oh, and Keshi is pronounced KEH-SHEE/SHI

Oh, and somthing else might be helpful. Have You ever seen Yu-Gi-h? Well, Matuke's voice would best match up with one of those characters; Noah Kiaba. And have any of you heard of "Sonic X?" Well, Keshi's voice just about matches that of Amy's.

Did you get, by now, why I've chosen the color burgandy for the story's text's color?

Ok here it comes!~~~~~~~~~~~

Btw, one again, I do NOT own Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Sonic X, or any of the characters in those animations nor in the fic. Well, I do own Keuyu and Sheathie, Matuke and Keshi and some other characters but none used in the real show

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 11- The Burgandy Hall

"Welcome to the Burgndy Hall."

Misty looked the young man up and down. He was very handsome, tall with dark red hair under a pure gold crown. His skin was as white as Misty's and was blemishless. And his eyes- They were of a deep cherry brownish red. The kind of cherry red that fine, expensive furniture is made of. But his eyes were... empty. totally empty. Not a single expression to be seen. It looked as if he was drained of any human emotion.

The boy's eyes narrowed,
"I am Matuke Haetaka, and this is my sister, Keshi Haetaka. You are now in my own little world. You see, This used to be the kind, sweet, peaceful, forgotton city of Ishaka but now, you see, I don't like Happy, kind, sweet, peaceful things, so, I took it over."

Matuke snapped his fingers and the first big guard entered and picked Misty up by the neck.

"Now than, you will do everything I say. Everything. Or else- well... My sister dear will have to deal with you." He looked over at the guard holding Misty and Misty herself and motioned for the guard to come closer.

"You're cute. I may just make you my queen." Boy did that strike a note in Ash's heart.

"Never! She'll never love you! She- I-" A bright blush crossed his face as he realized what he was about to say. He was about to say he- he loved her.

"Oh? What are you going to do?" Ash was silent. Meanwhile, Misty was struggling to breathe.

"You see, Keshi is in charge of law and punishment but I'm sure she wouldn't mind me taking this one small liberty. You dare defy me ONCE and I shall. hmm..." He snapped and he guard dropped Misty's limp body.
Ash ran over to her and laid her head on his chest. (AWWWW!)

"Misty? Misty? Are you okay?" Misty's eyes barely opened as she snuggled closer to Ash. Ash, in turn, turned brighter red.

"If you disobey me, I may just have to do away with Miss Water here. Or..." He snapped once again and the second guard brought in the little girl that Ash and Misty had chased,

"OR, I'll do away with one child of this village every hour that you are missing-"

"But-" Ash started to protest.

"But nothing! Guards! Lock them up-"

"Please, wait brother!" Keshi spoke for the first time,

"Please! Um- allow them to live freely! There is an empty Jaquta in the North Wing!"

"Fine." Matuke said with a glare. With that he waved his hand.

"I take you. You come." Said the first guard. Ash picked Misty up ( XD) and followed the big man.
~~~~

"WHERE THE STINKIN HECK ARRRRRE THEY!" May shouted

"INTRUDERS!" A little girl shouted from their behind.

"Not again." May said as she slapped her forehead.

"Come on out, Bulbasaur!" She said as she threw her Pokeball and Bulbasaur appeared.

"Bulb! Bul a saur!"

"Vinewhip that little girl!" Well... that's... at least what May's Balbasaur tried to do... it was a good effort and all, but it just ended up vinewhipping a treetrunk and the little girl continued to run.

"More intruders! More intruders!" Momentarilly, May and Sheath were surrounded by guards. May sweatdropped while Sheathie just covered her face.

"Heheheh... might you fellas know where our good pals Ash and Misty are? Y'know, they guy with the hat who's always with the pretty re-haired girl who is so obviously head over heels-"

One of the guards (duh= one of the head of the guards) grinned evily,

"Just come with us."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Here's your sweet, kid." The gard said as he shoved Ash (still carrying Misty) into the room.

"Ya check in with Master every time ya leave this room, or, well, ya know the consiquences." With that, the man closed and bolted the door.

Ash carefully set Misty down on one of the two beds in the room and took off her cape. His hand brushed against her soft face, which was hot to his surprise. Ash pulled up a chair next to Misty looked around the room. The room was draped in blue and silver and the bedsheets had pictures depicting a fairytale with a handsome prince and a beautiful mermaid princess.

(sound firmilliar?)

Ash looked down at Misty, with her hair spread aroud her beautiful snow white face, her face so peaceful and so not... not... wel, frankly not yelling or angry.

*She so beautiful! Wait! Did I just think that?* Ash thought. Did he? he did. He did think that. Again. He was thinking it again. How special she was...

Ash leane down and breathed in her sweet perfume and slowly his lips were drawn to her lips... but just before he could kiss her, her eyes suddenly flew open.

"A-Ash?" She asked, sitting up. Now Ash was a new shade of red. way red. the kind of red you turn when you find out your skirt had been tucked in your underpants all day or that the girl/boy you liked all along likes YOU! Yeah, that red.

"I-I-I!" Ash turned away,

"Um you okay?" he asked, still looking away.

Misty ran her hands through her hair,
"Yeah... um I think so... h-hpw 'bout you, Ashy?"

Wow, now that blush was way bright crimson.

"Why wouldn't I be!?" Misty gave Ash the sly eye.

"You've been without food since breakfast-" gruuumblegurglegurrrrrgrooooannuuummmbllee. Ash's stomach grumbled quite loudly and Misty giggled,

"That's what I thought." She looked around,
"So how exactly do we get some food?"

Ash held his stomach as it gurgled again,
"I don't know."
~~~~~~~~
"Vuala!" Brock said as he pointed to the off-road jeep.

"What? Drive it?" Tracey asked

"duh!" Brock said as he grabbed the keys off the wall and got in

"Jump in and we'll find your Juliet, Shakespoe."

"Didn't Romeo fall in love with Juliet? And the auther wasn't Shakespoe-"

"Whatever." Brock said *Of course You're not going to fall in love with Juliet, Shakespoe, the part of Romeo's already taken...*

*By Ash.*
~~~~~~~
"Where could they be?" Drew asked Keuyu.

"I don't know but-"

VROOOOOM!

"Hey guys!" Keuyu and Drew looked up to find Brock and Tracey parked up along side them.

"What the heck are you doing driving my original million jeep?" Keuyu asked in a calm voice.

Brock sweatdropped,
"My mistake... Why don't you drive?" He scooted over to allow Keuyu behind the wheel. Tracey and Drew climbed in back and Keuyu drove away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Missute, Rollfcof, come here." Matuke said as he snapped his fingers. At once, a young purple-haired woman and a tall, blonde haired man appeared. Alongside them were two beige ninetails.

"Commense with operation 'Thousand Tales." The man and lady bowed,

"Yes, Master." And then they, along with their ninetails dissapeared.

"Brother, you have not informed me of 'Operation Thousand Tales.' Please, tell me, what is it?" Keshi asked, looking earnestly into Matuke's eyes.

"Do not rush thing, my sweet sister. You will find out in due time. Due time." With that, he focused his attention to the front of the room, and from behind their thrones, emerged a large blue Ninetails. A blue Ninetails with... ten tails?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The Matuke guy said there ewre clothes we were supposed to change into in the 'royal' closet.

"Well is there a 'royal bathroom' I can change in or a royal kitchen?'" Misty asked sarcasticly.

"I don't know. That'd be cool though!" My, My, was a completely dull pin you are, Ashy boy.

Misty stood up and stretched... and realized it hurt REALLY bad to even slightly move her neck.

"Dear dear! Dear dear!" Misty jumped at the sound of the new voice behind them, thus, reinjuring her neck and sinking to the floor.

Ash turned to find a green haired woman in a maid's uniform run in with a little (litterally tiny that is) barking Ninetials yipping at her heel.

"Oh my, oh my! You must be the new 'guests' Master has been talking about! Please, please make yourelves comfortible, yes, yes and please allow me to assist, assist you in anything you need, need." She said in a terribly rushed little voice

"Oh.. hello... Miss..." Misty started

"My name's Sliat, Slait and this is my Tails!" She said, pointing to her Ninetails.

"Oh... well..."

"You must, must get into your uniforms or Master, Master wil be displeased, pleased." She and her Ninetails ran to the closet and pullet out two seperate outfits.

"You have to be kidding me." Misty and Ash said in unison.

Ok, now I'm going to edit this and check it. I hope you guys like it and as SOON as someone reviews I will start my next chapter! Do not worry! I will this time!

TschuB! Bisbald!
 
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ah yes another good chapter Mysteria Pearl........ the Pokeshipping hints are soo kawaii :D
 

gladdecease

Master Coordinator
Interesting chapter...

I suppose Tracey could be the Shakespeare. Writing the verses of their romance, declaring it true, and letting the whole world know it.

Ash's feelings are starting to come through, aren't they? ^^

Well, best of luck to them all, I suppose. And a nice chapter too.
 

Mysteria Pearl

Queen of Mushy-ness!
Why thank you both very much! I have to go to a party because some new exchange students from my old school came to my new school and we're having a happy little party. I'm hoping to get another few reviews and then as soon as I get home, I'll start on chapter 12! YAY!

Bisbald! TschuB!

~Mysteria Pearl~
 

deoxysmaster8000

no-one can beat me!!
wow, this is great, i wonder what they have to wear....think you can pm me a sneak peak? j/k, you wouldnt do that

deo ;386;
 

Felix Feral Fezirix

Densetsu no Pikachu!
*bang bang bang* spelling mistakes galore, but I don't have the heart to list them all.

Good chapter, and the servant was kinda funny the way they muttered. THe little jokes about Romeo and Juliet and Shakespeare was kinda funny, but could have been better.

Ah well. Nothing else to say. Pika out.
 

Mysteria Pearl

Queen of Mushy-ness!
Thank you! Chapter 11 was (I tried to make it) more of a informational chapter. So, it was kinda hard to add humor where all the drama was. I tried though :) In chapter 12... oh, just PM me if you want some good spoilers or just, as Deo said :) :) , want to get some info on what the heck Ash and Misty have to wear.

Thank you! I love to hear from you all!

Bisbald! TschuB!

~Mysteria Pearl~

By the way, I don't own any of the Pokemon characters accept Sheathie, Keuyu, Matuke, Keshi, and some other non-improtant characters. Also, I don't own Pokemon, or any of the related series.

Ok, since nobody decided to review, I'll start my next chapter right here!


Chapter 12: Things aren't Always what they Appear

Ash gawked up and down at Misty.

"I...I...I...I...I...I..." Misty cocked her head uncomfortibly

"Are you okay?"

Now, of course, Misty had insisted on using the bathroom first... and well... let's just say that the outfit that Matuke had assigned her wasn't esactly what she usually wore...

Misty was wearing a garment... make that a full dress made of light blue velvet. It had a square cut neck that was lined with diamonds- REAL diamonds! She also had to wear her hair down, that lightly cascaded over her shoulders, running down her back and on top her head was an elegant light blue velvet headband adorned with more diamonds. Oh, and did I mention that her dress had a slit all the way up her leg to her waist. Matuke had also given her BIG clicks (Those of you who ren't female, "Clicks" are high heeled shoes)

Ash just stood staring, which made Misty feel very uncomfortible.

"I..."

"Yes I heard... um why don't you go... uh change..." Ash just stood there in a daze.

*One... Two... Three...*

MALLAT TIME! Wowthat looks painful... Oh, and by the way, try listening to some silly music :)

"YOU FREAK! STOP STARING AT ME AND GO CHANGE!" With that, she pulled out her mallet (from nowhere, may I add) and started chasing him around the room.

"GET BACK HERE! I'M GONNA KILL YA!" Misty said, bonking him (gently, suprisingly) on the head.
~~~~
"Nice place ya got here!" May said as the big guard pulled her through a gate.

"We take you to master." The guards said as they pulled May and Sheath into the palace and up to the King and Queen's thrones.

"What now!?" Matuke cried exasperated. May looked the boy and girl up and down, but somthing really bothered her... The boy's eyes were deep and regularly beautiful... but the girl's eyes were blank... and empty... They were plain and flat and it looked as if her mind wasn't present.

"Um... sir... I... we... have you seen our friends, one with spiky black hair and one with birght orange fluffy hair? I could of sworn i saw them-"

"Silence!" Matuke roared. Both May and Sheah were startled. sheathy ran behing MAy and clung fearfully to her.

"Lock them up." All attention went to the seated girl.

"Without any trial or any consideration?" Matuke asked, seeming unsure and suddenly more silent.

"Lock them up." She repeated. The guards were instantly at May and Sheath's sides and grabbed them.

"Get your hands off m-" May started to say while the two giant men dragged she and Sheath away.
~~~~~~~~~
"Dude! do you even know wher you're going?" Brock asked as Keuyu drove once again through a huge bunch of trees.

"I don't care where we're going!" Kauyu cried as he drove through a ditch,
"I must find my princess!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The huge blue Ninetails once again appeared,
"There is a message from Giovanni." A voice came from nowhere

Matuke snapped his fingers and a Pokevision appeared before his face,

"Matuke! Keshi! Yolanda! What is taking so long! We should have the earth at our feet by now!"

"In due time." The voice said.

"Well, just make sure that you quicken the pace!"

Matuke and Keshi nodded,

"Yes, Father." Then the Pokevision dissapeared.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"James, do you even know where we're going!? I should have NEVER let you leave the home base for those chickenwings! (???)

"Sorry, Jessie, but you know that Master Matuke and Mistress Keshi don't allow meat in their palace." Jessie rolled her eyes as James scarfed down the rest of his meal.

Meowth peeked over the side of the hot ar baloon basket,
"Ah see it! Dead ahead!"

Jessie ran over to the side,
"OOH GOODIE! Decent conditions here comes your QUEEN!" James and Meowth sweatdropped.
~~~~~~~~~
"Betcha can't catch me!" Max called as he jumped into the Gym pool. Jane (Joyie) jumped in after him and tagged him. Then she jumped out of the pool and ran around the edge, only to run into her mother, who wrapped her in a towel.

"i hope Misty and Ash are alright..." Nurse Joy wondered aloud.

"I bet they're just okeydokey and they're heading back right now!" Max said as he also jumped out of the pool.

"I hope so..."
~~~~~~~~
"Pika... pika..." Once again, poor Pika had been so tied that he had fallen asleep in Ash's backpack. HE poked his head out of the sack and didn't recognize anything around him.

"Are you awake, Pikachu?" Misty asked, stooping down. Pikahu looked up at her and had no clue who the heck she was. (It was kinda like a surprise "Extreme Poke Remakeover" or somthing) Immeaditly he got charged up as electricity flowed to his (adorible) little red cheeks.

"Wait! It's me, Misty! Your friend!" Pikachu calmed down and tilted his head.

"Chu?! Pipi Pikachu!" (Misty?! Is it you?)

Misty, for some odd reason understood and smiled as she picked up the cute little yellow rodent.

"Yeah..."

"Pipi chu!? Pipi Kachu? Pi kachu Pikachu uu? Pi Pikachu?" (Is it true!? What did Ash say? Did he say you're cute? Ask you out?)

"Yes... it's me... Ash gaped..." Here, Misty blushed,
"And... um no......"

Pikachu got an evil look in it's/his/her (Whatever you think) eye

"PIKACHU!" (PAYBACK!)

"Pardon?" Misty asked with a blank look. The oh-so-innocent look returned to the mouse's face,

"chuchuchu..." (nothing...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
May sighed and sat down on the far wall of her and Sheath's cell. Prison cell.

"We're right back where we started..." She said in a very I-got-an-attitude-and-I-can-kill-with-it look.

"I'm sorry..." Sheath said. May turned to face her,
"It's okay, Sheathie, this isn't your fault. Sheath looked down at the cement floor,
"If it wasn't for me being really slow, you could of left me.."
"NO WAY! I would never do that-"

BANG! Sticking through the wall of the cell was a long, two rowed jeep.

"Guess putting that map in front of your face while you were driving wasn't such a good idea..." Brock said while seemingly getting about two feet smaller.

"Gee, ya think?" Keuyu asked sarcasticly.

"May!" Drew hopped down and hugged her. May just stood still, blushing very brightly,
"H-how did...? Where did...?" Drew pulled back from the fershmizzled (Yes I know, not a word... blah blah blah) brunette.

"Come on, we have to find Misty and Ash!"

"Betcha ten bucks there out kissing somewhere-" Tracey punhed Brock VERY hard in the face while Sheath climbed onto his (meaning Tracey's) lap.

"But I have nowhere to sit-" May started as Drew climbed in.

"Come on." Drew held out a hand and pulled May onto his lap. (As once again she turned as bright as a cherry)
~~~~~~~~~~~
"More and more of the great Ninetails, my realitives, are being captured or are traveling under the command of someone or somthing. This is not good for me or 'Operation Thousand Tales.' Keshi, Matuke, find for me all the Ninetails and together we shall rule the planet, not just this small village..." Came the voice again as the blue ten tailed fox started to glow once again.

Matuke and Keshi's eyes started to glow and get a flat look once again,
"Yes master."
~~~~~~~~
"I am not wearing this!" Ash declared as he came out of the bathroom. All attention turned to him. Just guess what he was being forced to wear.

Not half bad- not at all bad to be more like it. Burried in his thick, shaggy black hair was a red headband. He was also wearing a red sleeveless shirt that looked a bit tight on him and showed his muscled well. his pants were also made of a red material and they were billowly, although well fit and not a bit big. around his waist was a black sash and his feet were bare.

"Wow..."
"'Wow' what?" Ash asked, looking canfusidly at his Pikachu (who was now grinning evily... and where'd he get the camera...?) and Misty, who was just staring at him, eyebrows raised.

Misty snapped out of it,
"Nothing!" She said uneasily as she got up and turned to get her cape.

Trying to figure out some way of changing the subject, Ash looked around the room once more,
"So... how DO we get food." Yes, as obvious as a red rose on the middle of a mirrored table.

"I think we ask on that monitor thingy." Misty said pointing to a monitor hanging above Ash's bed.

"How? There aren't any bottons or a remote!" Ash said, exasperatedly. He poked it-

"Dinner's in the Dining Hall. Be there." Ash fell back (sweatdrop) as Matuke's face appeared on the screen,
"Walk down the hall, down a flight of stairs and enter a door to your left. Oh, and don't bring that disgusting little rodent- make that any Pokemon- with you." With that the monitor shut off and Matuke's face dissapeared. By that time, Ash recovered from his shock and stood up,

"C'mon, Misty!" He said, grabbing her by the hand and pulling her out of the room.

"Now was it 'up the stairs and the door on your right' or 'down the stairs and the door on you left'?" Ash thought aloud.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Guys," Said Keuyu looking up at the seting sun,
"I don't think we're going to be able to find Misty and Ash tonight." By that time, May, Brock and Sheath had already fallen asleep.

"I guess you should just pull over." Tracey and Drew said simoultaniously.

Keuyu parked in a clearing and they all carefully got out of the car (leaving Brock to sleep in the jeep, due to his obnoxious snoring). Drew carried May over to a tree and gently laid her down, as did Tracey with Sheath. Then Tracey, Drew and Keuyu all laid down to sleep and restart their search for Misty and Ash the next day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*It's been a long time since they left... gee, I hope they're okay..." Nurse Joy thought as she tucked in Jane and proceeded to Max's room to do the same.

*I shouldn't worry, though... I've heard that can lead to premature grey streaks and wrinkles... and they'll be fine... after all... they've all been on adventures before... I've heard of where they dissapear for monthes and turn out saving the world! Yeah... they'll be fine...*

"Max?" She asked Max's door.

"Coooooooommmme iiiiiiiinnnnnnnn...." She heard his grumble. Nurse Joy opened the door to find the little boy sleeping (kinda) peacefully. Carefully, she went over and tucked him in, turned out he lights, and went to bed for herself.

*I hope...*
~~~~~~~
Oh my gosh, sorry to interrupt, but I just found out I just got a new cousin!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ash and Misty finally stumbled into the dining hall to find that only they, along with Matuke and Keshi were the only ones present, along with a few man and maid servants lining the walls.

The dining table wall long and thin, and was almost thirteen feet long. Matuke and Keshi sat at either end, while picking at their food.

Matuke looked up,
"Ah! Welcoe, my dear Misty! Please, do take a seat next to me." Misty hesitantly sat down next to him while Ash just sat (On the oppisite side) on a lonely chair in the middle of the table. Misty stared down at her food.

"What is wrong? Why aren't you eating? Are you feeling ill? Shall I have my doctors take a look at you?" Misty looked up at his face, into his eyes.

*That's wierd... why are his eyes... normal? They're so deep and... and... hmmmnn... It looks like he's a whole different person... and he's so kind... and princely... like a knight in shining armour...*

Matuke laid a hand on her forehead. There was a noticible flush that came to Misty's cheeck while Ash quietly fumed.

"Perhaps you should try and eat just a little bit of food and then head off to bed." He said and snapped. A maid came in carrying on a tray, a glass of warm milk.

Misty took it and sipped a little and began to feel a little better and began to nibble at her food, while meanwhile Ash had already finished.

Keshi stood up and without a word, left the room.

"What's with her?" Ash asked.

"Oh, do not worry about her. She often has mood swings and I can almost gaurentee you that she will be back to normal by the morning. Maybe tomorrow I'll even show you around our little town." Matuke said with our meaning more than anyone in the room knew.

Once Misty and Ash had finished their meal, Matuke excused them and they headed off to their room.

"Who the heck does that guy think he is!?" Ash hissed.

"I... I don't now but... he..."

"He enslaves us then is all suddenly chummy with you! 'My dear,' my foot!." Ash continued.

"Ash, I don't think the Matuke we met before was the real..."

"Real what?"

"The real Matuke. I think we just may have met him..."

"If he is Matuke... then isn't he always the real Matuke?" Ash asked while opening the door for her.

"I don't know..."

"Hello, hello! How are you, you? Are you ready for bed, bed?" Ash jumped back and held his chest as Sliat appeared with Tails out of nowhere.

"Um... yes..."

Sliat beamed,
"Great, great! Mistress Misty, follow me, me!" Misty hesitantly followed the /way too peppy/ little maid into the changing / bathroom while ash jumped head first into his bed.
In a little while, Misty emerged, folowed by Tails and Sliat, in a red satin bedgown.

"Come on Master Ash, Ash. Follow me, me!" Ash fell off his bed and followed Sliat and later also emerged in a red satin bedsuit. Misty had already gotten into bed and had turned out the light.

"Pi Pikachu Pikachu hu uu?" (Did you say she's cute yet?) Asked Pikachu as he jumped onto Ash's lap.

"SHHH! I... no... um who?"

"Chu!" (Misty!) (also meaning, 'You dunce! Misty!)

Ash turned brihgt red as he again shushed Pikachu (while PIkachu, may I add, roled it's eyes.)

"Goodnight, Ash..." Misty mumbled from her side of the room.

"G'night."
~~~~~~
"When shall I inform him of my intentions?" Matuke asked the grreat Ten Tailed fox.

"Soon, but I'm afraid, that Ash will not do what I please."

"I cannot blame him if it is his own choice to disobey you, Master Yolanda."

"As you have no choice, neither will he."

"How will you convince him?"

"He has not yet seen me. And with any hope, if his 'Darling Princess' is at stake, why would he even give a second thought to obeying me?" The voice said

"You wouldn't dare put the Master of Water in any danger, would thee?" Matuke asked, startledly.

"I will do anything to get my way, Matuke. You know that well." Matuke noded and once again, the Great Blue Fox dissapeared.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Well, that's chapter 12! Remember, readers! If you haven't reviewed yet and you'd feel as if you're intruding, it's okay! You're not! Review away! Happy turkey (Thanksgiving) day! Bye-Bye!

Bisbald! TschuB!

~Mysteria Pearl~
 
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Sorry, for taking me this while to answer Mysteria Pearl. Those two chapter are good. I knew you could write again and you did it great. Keep it up!

Edit: Well, I finished reading what I haven't and it's really good as I told you before. Tell me went you update the next chapter. Later
 
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Nylf

Well-Known Member
Enter harsh reviewer.

I have a feeling if you didn't leave a line gap between each sentence this wouldn't be a page long, but then it's a just a feeling.

Shippiness, plot and description is all this has really got, as grammar is, well bluntly WAY TOO MANY SPELLING MISTAKES. When characters are speaking, you can use slang, when you are writing, best not to really unless you use quoation marks, which are '(Insert slang word here)'. Authors notes are funny, but best left for scripts, in this they ruin the pace IMO. And the fact you use red writing makes it hard for me to read as I'm on Dark Skin and would rather not change. Do you have Microsoft Word, Works Word Processor or another form of spellcheck? If not hire a proofreader(not me I'm too busy with other things). That way you can keep spelling mistakes down. That's the cons.

Pros, well the shippiness is nice and proper, the plot is very interesting, if enigmatic other than the shipping, and the characters are interesting. The description has by far improved a lot.

Overall just fix the grammar niggles and maybe the length(I can't shake the feeling sorry), and this will be a really great fic, instead of just a great AAML.

Auf Wiedersehn!(as I can't use accents as I use a laptop)
 

Felix Feral Fezirix

Densetsu no Pikachu!
lol what Shiny Flygon said. You can use me as a proofreader, I don't really mind a lot, since I'm bored to death anyway. But I'm not going to be on 24/7.

Nay, latest chapter...Dark skin or Serebii 9.0, Burgandy is real hard to read. Bah. Not bad, but mistakes galore, and even author notes are mispelt, and all those not very important brackets/parentheses/( ) make it distracting. Yeah. Plot is going on, and I shall have to wait and see.
 

Mysteria Pearl

Queen of Mushy-ness!
Thank you all for reviewing very much. I'm going to add more stuff on up there (in my last post) As soon as I get somthing to eat.

It's great to hear from you!

*Stomach grumbling*

Heheheh...

~Mysteria Pearl~

Okay, I finished chapter 12 and it's up there /\
 
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lol......... once again, good chapter........ every part of it seemed great to me =)
 
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