The Customer is Not Always Right. A rather humorous little website I found...

[Hakajin]

My fav. website atm. Though it does show just how stupid Americans are.....

There seem to be a lot from Canada, too. People are just stupid in general.

Anyway, some of those are really funny. Some of them sound kind of made up, though, like the one about the adult video place's phone number being mistaken for the one for the driving school.

 

[Mageziya]

Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, do you carry cell phone repeaters?”

Me: “We do not.”

Customer: “Any idea where I can get one?”

Me: “The internet would be your best bet.”

Customer: “Do you have the phone number for the internet?'

Never heard of a computer?

 

[Cryptozoologist]

Sure, it's stupid, but it's nothing to write home about. 5/10.

 

[Rosemary]

Funny and Stupid kinda remained me a few experiences at different jobs

 

[Tof]

Customer: “Hello, sir, I am wondering if you can help me?”

Me: “Sure, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “I’m looking to rent a boat.”

Me: “Sure, what kind would you like?”

Customer: “A boat.”

Me: “Yes, sir, but what kind of boat?”

Customer: *confused* “A boat…”

Me: “Yes, sir, a boat, but what kind of boat? We have three different kinds.”

Customer: “A boat boat!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know what you mean.”

Customer: “Stupid Canadians! Don’t know what a f***ing boat is!”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry. I just don’t understand your question, but I will go down to the docks with you and help you choose your boat.”

Customer: “Fine!”

(We walk down to the dock and approach a row boat.)

Customer: “That’s the one right there. A boat. You see?”

Me: “Oh, you meant a row boat, sir.”

Customer: “No, that is a boat boat!”

Me: “In Canada, it’s called a row boat.”

Customer: “Jesus, why can’t you Canadians speak regular English like everyone else?!”













I lol'd

 

[Cobalt_Latios]

There seem to be a lot from Canada, too. People are just stupid in general.

Do you want to know what I've noticed from that? That the customers that are being helped are either, a) tourists, or b) in Toronto. Not sure why that is, but it's hilarious.

Anyway, some of those are really funny. Some of them sound kind of made up, though, like the one about the adult video place's phone number being mistaken for the one for the driving school.

I was going to quote that! Just the secondary context in which the customer's line could have been taken is damn hilarious.

Never heard of a computer?

I've seen a few where they don't like computers (computa is evil!!!), or they want Google, but don't realize exactly what it is.

One thing I've noticed about many of them: they always think you're trying to "rip them off". A lot of "jumping" to conclusions.

I still find this funny just because.

<C_L>

 

[Tadashi]

Having worked in retail for many a year, my faith in humanity has long since gone the way of the dinosaur and acid-washed jeans.

However, I do enjoy reading stores like these. No matter how much they make me cringe, no matter how much they astonish me, no matter how many goddamn stupid people there are on this planet, I always walk away knowing that I have a higher intellect than these people. Granted, that's not much to be proud of, but I'm just glad that I'm not in the same group as some of these idiots. Honestly.

 

[Kirby]

And I'd say that these people I have to deal with 'helping' every day ...is the reason I still can't seem to throw away my cigarette habit. :X Just to go outside for a minute to puff. Just need one. Yeah. Making me kill my lungs, damn people. D:

Haha wow I'm all for freedom of smoking and couldn't care less about whether people want to slowly kill themselves with cancer sticks that make them smell of *** and have nasty teeth, but when you actually blame it on sucky customers is when it becomes humorous.

When I worked at Best Buy I had a man insist that Wii games would play on the xBox. I tried to explain that Wii = Nintendo and xBox = Microsoft, and the games for each system only plays on the respective system it's made for, but apparently me being a girl means I don't know anything about electronic devices.

That made me so angry I went out and smoked my bong afterwards, his fault for making me do illegal drugs.

PS, the bong part was a joke but the story is true. I have more where that came from, being a manager at my current job I get lots of sucks. I should post them on that website :U

 

[Haruka]

...I have no idea why this is being so highly praised. A mass majority of it just seems too stupid to be real, kind of like FML. Or just plain too coincidental to be real, like the one about the adult video place's phone number being mistaken for the one for the driving school. It's good for an entertaining little read, but I really wouldn't count it off as factual. Even if I understand, to those who have a job, that costumers really can be that stupid sometimes.

I prefer Costumers Suck a lot more.

 

[Mandi.]

Haha wow I'm all for freedom of smoking and couldn't care less about whether people want to slowly kill themselves with cancer sticks that make them smell of *** and have nasty teeth, but when you actually blame it on sucky customers is when it becomes humorous.

Haha. Well, actually. I wasn't being totally serious when I was blaming my smoking on customers. If you didn't notice.

I'm pretty much saying that work is the only reason why I'm still smoking. Just wanting to get outside, away from work ..to smoke or anything. It's like ..that one small break is :>


But anyways.
Christmas is coming. Some of the more best customer stories come at that time.

 

[Tof]

Haha. Well, actually. I wasn't being totally serious when I was blaming my smoking on customers. If you didn't notice.

I'm pretty much saying that work is the only reason why I'm still smoking. Just wanting to get outside, away from work ..to smoke or anything. It's like ..that one small break is :>


But anyways.
Christmas is coming. Some of the more best customer stories come at that time.

I hope you post some good stories when it comes,

I can't wait. xD

 

[interstellas]

No, I don't have duck things.

*bookmarks* Fantastic.

 

[Shneak]

Customer: “I gave my ducks neck braces.”

Lol.

 

[Mageziya]

I'm just glad that I'm not in the same group as some of these idiots. Honestly.

Aren't we all.

(My brother is the manager of a grocery store. Important: they’ve recently switched uniforms from red to blue.)

Customer: “Excuse me, can I get some help?”

Brother: “Yes, is there something I can help you with?”

Customer: “I’m looking for [competitors brand]. Why don’t you have it?”

Brother: “It’s because only our competitor can sell that.”

Customer: “That is bull****! I’ve been shopping here for 10 years and you’ve always had that!”

Brother: “Ma’am, we’ve only been at this location for four years and we don’t sell our competitor’s brand.”

Customer: “You are compleatly hopeless! I demand to speak to the manager!”

Brother: “I am the manager, ma’am.”

Customer: “Did you not hear me?! I want to talk to the M-A-N-A-G-E-R!”

Brother: “Fine, just a sec. I’ll go fetch him.”

(My brother walks in to the staff area, picks up an old red shirt from a box, puts it on, and walks out.)

Brother: “Hello ma’am, how can I help you?”

Customer: *calmly* “Finally. I want to know why you don’t have [competitors brand]?”

Brother: “Because only our competitor can sell it.”

Customer: “Oh? I guess I’ll have to go to their store, then. Thanks!”

I'm surprised she didn't recognize him.

(A customer in her late teens approaches me in the bookstore.)

Customer: “Hey, do you guys sell the Twilight books?”

Me: “Yes, they’re right over there.”

Customer: “Have you read them?”

Me: “Yes, I have.”

Customer: “Didn’t you just LOVE them?!”

Me: “Well, actually, they aren’t really my type of book, so–”

Customer: *suddenly furious* “Are you f***ing serious?! These are the best books ever written! I’m going to tell Edward to come and bite you and drink all your blood!”

Me: *backing away* “Have a nice day, ma’am…”

One of the many many many many many reasons I hate the twilight series.

(I notice a customer is standing in front of a freezer. After remaining there for several minutes, I get concerned.)

Me: “Sir, can I help you?”

(At this point, I notice that he’s urinated in the freezer. The customer turns around, zips up his fly, and then pulls his shirt over his head.)

Customer: “I AM CORNHOLIO! I NEED TP FOR ME BUNGHOLE!” *runs away*

Coworker: “They don’t pay us enough for this.”

My reaction could not be put into words.

 

[Shneak]

Aren't we all.



I'm surprised she didn't recognize him.

No kidding. Some of these are blatantly fake.

 

[Mageziya]

Not really, every now and then if you look on Yahoo Answers you can find people asking idiotic questions.

(I’m eating lunch at the front desk of our framing shop when I get called to the back. When I return to the front, I notice a customer standing in front of my sandwich at the desk.)

Customer: “Hi.”

Me: “Good afternoon. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: “No.” *stares at my sandwich*

Me: “Well, are you in need of assistance?”

(The woman suddenly snatches up my sandwich.)

Me: “Ma’am, that’s my lunch. Please give it back to me.”

Customer: “I was walking by and I got hungry.”

Me: “Ma’am, there’s a deli down the street. Please do not eat my lunch.”

Customer: “But it was on the counter. That means it’s complimentary! It’s my sandwich and I’m going to eat it.”

(At this point, my coworker comes out the back.)

Coworker, to me: “Isn’t that your lunch?”

Customer: “It’s my lunch now! MINE.” *starts eating the sandwich* “This has MAYONNAISE in it!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Ham and mayo.”

Customer: “I hate mayonnaise! It looks and tastes like sperm!” *throws my sandwich on the floor and runs out the door*

Me: “…What just happened?”

Wait, what? Doesn't that mean she's tasted.......8|

 

[Cobalt_Latios]

No kidding. Some of these are blatantly fake.

Even so, they're pretty amusing. Then again, reality is stranger than fiction. You can't make this stuff up.

Wait, what? Doesn't that mean she's tasted.......8|

I've read some where they've injured the clerks and still say they have higher rights. Check the golfing ones and you'll see what I mean.

There's one involving bad karma that is just hilarious.

<C_L>

 

[Peter Quill]

Ahahaha

The one where the lady thinks Salmonella is pronnounced Liza Minelli is pretty funny.

Good find.

Customer: “So, I think I’m a necrophiliac.”

Me: “Um, what?”

Customer: “I think I’m a necrophiliac.”

Me: “And why would you think that?”

Customer: “Because I’m always tired and I keep falling asleep at my desk.”

Me: “Narcoleptic.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “You think you’re narcoleptic.”

Customer: “Right. What did I say?”

Me: “Necrophiliac.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

(I tell him.)

Customer: “Oh God NO!”

Sadly I did the exact same thing >>;

 

[Mageziya]

injured the clerks and still say they have higher rights. Check the golfing ones and you'll see what I mean.

There's one involving bad karma that is just hilarious.

<C_L>

Ya, people can be morons, especially when their question is answered and they still ask it. (By the way, I'm pretty far along with read this, near the 50ies, which means I still have 150/200+ pages to go.

Caller: “I need a provider who can speak Spanish.”

Coworker: “Okay, we can find one for you.”

Caller: “Really? What if I wanted a provider who spoke Japanese?”

Coworker: “No problem, we have those.”

Caller: “Really? You have providers who speak Japanese?”

Coworker: “Yes.”

Caller: “But Japanese don’t exist!”

Bad at Geography?

(I was working on the theater’s ticket-selling system. It printed every ticket using a thermal printer, on paper that gets black in spots where it is heated. A customer comes in with a completely black ticket.)

Customer: “I want this ticket replaced! What kind of tickets do you sell?! I can’t see anything on it!”

Me: “I’m sure we didn’t give you this ticket in this poor state. What happened to it?”

Customer: “It got all bent in my purse and looked ugly, so I ironed it.”

Me: “But ma’am, this ticket is printed on a thermal paper. It gets black when heated, so–”

Customer: “You should’ve warned me that I can’t iron the ticket!”

It's outside common sense to iron a ticket.

 

[Tadashi]

I prefer Costumers Suck a lot more.

I love that community! Although, I hate the entries that start with "Dear Idiot", or something along those lines. I prefer straight-up paragraphs or script-format dialogue.