The Dark Maelstrom (Rated PG)

[Komedic Konservationist]

Hello people.
I've been pondering this idea for absolutley ages, and have come to the conclusion that I *am* going to write it.
Here is a preview of my Poke epic, The Dark Maelstrom.....
An evil Manyula called Klawking Ahrzha (prenounced R-Zhuh) is leading an army of Dark types from there lair in the north, slaughtering everything in it's path. Two Snorunt, Yuki and Warashi, are tasked with finding Lugia and awakening him, for only he has the power to destroy the army. To do this, they must use a compass they stole from a mysterious old traveller, and will follow the hand of the compass (which is actually one of Lugia's feathers) through horrendous danger: A tribe of Gligars, rampaging Ursaring, Sharpedo-infested waters, a haunted valley, and a perilous realm thousands of feet under the sea.
Meanwhile, however, Ahrzha and his legions have hijacked a military submarine, and are also heading to this strange submerged region. Could there true objectives also lie with the beast of the sea?
There we have it.......... for now. Later on there will be a twist involving Ho-Oh, but thta's not for here. I'll post the first chapter, in which Yuki and Warashi discover the compass, when I have some time on my hands.

 

[poli dude]

rock on i love it, keep up the super duper work. lol

 

[katiekitten]

I think this should really be in the fanfic ideas thread. ¬_¬

 

[Tale]

http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=22230 It does pay to look at stickies - that way you wont bother people to send you the links for them, even though they're the easiest threads to find...

But anyway in response, I'd say this needs a bit more planning. There are loads of WHYs popping up in my head. Why is this Manyula destroying everything? Why has he got an army? Why are two measly Snorunts set the task of awakening Lugia to prevent any more deaths? Why is Lugia the one to kill this Manyula?

My advice is to get into the mindset of the reader, ask yourself questions they'd ask.

BUT, it's a very original idea, and with a little more planning, I say you should go through with it.

 

[Komedic Konservationist]

But anyway in response, I'd say this needs a bit more planning. There are loads of WHYs popping up in my head. Why is this Manyula destroying everything? Why has he got an army? Why are two measly Snorunts set the task of awakening Lugia to prevent any more deaths? Why is Lugia the one to kill this Manyula?

Thes questions will be answered later on as the plot unfolds. At first, it's just Yuki and Warashi following the compass wherever it takes them, until they reach Lugia. Ofcourse, they face many adventures on the way there. When they do reach Lugia, they find that Ahrzha and his legions also have plans involving Lugia, and it results in a titantic fight for control over it. After that......... you'll have to wait and see. The reason I left so many unanswered questions is so that they will be revealed as the plot unfolds. I like my stories to start out simple, then have a titanic twist in the middle after which it becomes alot more complex.
And about me posting this in the ideas thread, this is more a prequel than an idea.
Thanks for everything.