The Demise of the Kanto Branch

[MiloticKnght]

This story is pretty much the traditional Pokemon journey with some changes. If this ever gets off the ground I will try a different land. I'm thinking along the lines of Atlantis.
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1.Ben
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I live in Vermillion Village.
I was playing with an empty pokeball wishing a pokemon would come so that I could catch it. You can only catch a pokemon inside a pokeball.
Oh I forgot your new to the world of Pokemon. My parents say there are many pokemon worlds out there and new pokemon also waiting to be discovered. I live in Kanto. The original World. Pokemon are creatures that are remarkable. Not just because of their ability to understand human speech but their ability to unleash attacks. Some people who have pokemon pit their pokemon against other peoples pokemon. Pokemon Battles. I want to become the best Pokemon Battler Ever.
My brother is a trainer. His super cool pokemon include a giant bee commonly known as Beedrill, a Turtle named Blastoise, a Beast made of rock named Golem, a Fickle Cat called Persian, a Scary plant called Victreebell and a yellow creature named Hypno.
All of these have Evolved. I wonder what an Evolution looks like. Some pokemon evolve twice, some once and some no times at all.

"Still want to become a pokemon master?" I looked up. My brother Ben! I jumped up hugged him and said.
"Oh course! Can I play with Blastoise?"

Later that day me, Ben and my parents sat around the table eating. Ben's pokemon sat around the room eating. Except for Hypno which supposedly ate dreams. For some reason nobody talked much. My parents kept looking at each other down at their plates and then at me. After desert Ben looked at my parents and they nodded silently.
He then turned to me and murmured "Want another pokeball to play with"
"Oh yeah!"
"Ready Chris?"
"Why?"
He snorted and tossed a pokeball over the table to me. My parents watched it apprehensively.
I caught it and understood immediately. It was heavier then a regular pokeball.
"Which kind?" I asked. It was definitely a Pokemon!
"A Pidgey. Flying/Normal Type I believe. Go ahead. Open it"
I now realized why my parents were so tense. They had been depressed when Ben had left. Now they would be alone.
"Is it OK with them?" I asked tentatively.
They looked at each other one more time and broke into smiles.
"Yes"
"Of Course"
I tossed the pokeball and in a blinding flash of light a small birdlike pokemon appeared. I picked up the pokeball and then walked over to the Pidgey.
"Hey little guy!" It looked at me with disdain. And then slowly hopped onto my shoulder and let out a birdcall. I turned around "It likes me"
My mom suddenly came up to me with a backpack. "This has clean clothes in it and food and items for your pokemon in case it gets hurt and food for your pokemon," She walked back to her seat and then said. "You have to stay the night at least"
"I will"
Dad then came up to me and handed me a bag of money "This should last you for a month. You can win more money by beating other trainers however."
I thanked him and then Ben came up "I have advice. Go first to Vermillion city to challenge the pokemon gym there,"
"What are-"
"They are places where some of the most powerful trainers train. You can battle them for a badge. Once you have the eight badges you can challenge Indigo Plateau where all trainers who have eight badges battle in a tournament. Then you can battle the Elite Four at the Pokemon League."
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2.Pidgey
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I was traveling down the path to Vermillion City. Pidgey sitting on my shoulder when Ben appeared beside me.
"BEN WHY ARE YOU HERE" I had hoped that this would be my personal pokemon adventure.
"Well to tell the truth Mom made me come."
"Seething inwardly I glared at him. Though I brightened when I saw a duo of pokemon standing at the side of the road.
"A Rattata and a Charmander" said Ben as we hid behind a bush. He released Beedrill from its pokeball and ordered it to use twineedle.
The two drills on its arms began glowing and it smashed them into the Charmander.
Ben then quickly ordered a wing attack from Pidgey who ignored him.
"Make it attack" said Ben urgently"Or I wont give you these pokemon when I catch them."
I angrily thought of the attacks that Pidgey could learn and ordered a Gust.
Pidgey began beating the air with its wings until the wind picked up into a miniature whirlwind with Rattata and Charmander in the middle.
"Quick Attack" In a flash Pidgey slammed into Rattata and Charmander.
I grabbed two pokeballs from my bag my bag and threw them at the two pokemon. They vanished in two flashes of light.
I snatched up the pokeballs and walked down the road with an amazed Ben riding on Beedrill behind him.
We soon came to the outskirts of the City. Where I immediately challenged a trainer to a battle.
"I don’t think that’s wise Chris," said Ben Slowly "She's most likely better than you."
"Just referee the match please."
The girl released a pink round fluffy pokemon out of its pokeball. I chose Rattata.
"Let this three on three match began. First round Jigglypuff against Rattata"
Jigglypuff ran up to tackle Rattata.
"Um Hyper Fang?"
Rattatas teeth began glowing it then shot a beam out its mouth sending Jigglypuff back towards its trainer fainted. The angry girl released a round blue pokemon with leaves on its head next.
"Second round Oddish against Rattata" yelled Ben so that both of use could hear.
I repeated my first tactic on Oddish and another Jigglypuff to the amusment of some spectators.
The girl threw a few coins at me and walked off.
Ben walked up to me. "You are good,"
"I've studies all of your strategies and I watch pokemon battles daily on TV,"
Suddenly two masked people ran past with a Man in Pursuit. "Help, Help. They have my Machop. Help,"
Ben immediatly realeased Beedrill"Stay here I will be back."
"I'm sure you will" I said as Beedrill flew off after the masked people.
Ignoring Ben's Order I sprinted off after him mentally knowing that my Mom would kill me if she ever knew I ever disobeyed Ben's orders alone and away for home.
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3.The Kanto Branch
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Ben sent out his Hypno to join Beedrill in his battle against the two masked people.
They ordered a Sludge Bomb and a Flamethrower from their Muk and Magmar.
A beam of toxic sludge and a beam of fire shot towards Bens two pokemon.
"Hypno. Protect," and Hypno stopped the attacks effortlessly with an invisible wall.
"Psybeam and Pin missile" A colorfull beam and a bunch of tiny glowing pins shot towards Muk and Magmar.
They both used Mirror Move.
The attacks bounced backwards fainting Beedrill, Hypno and Ben.

I was now riding on a scooter I had "Borrowed" from a little kid. Pidgey flew behind with Rattata on its back keeping watch for anything unusual. Charmander ran alongside the scooter.
Rattata called down and I sped up the scooter until I saw Ben lying on the ground with Beedrill and Hypno franticly trying to do something to revive Ben.
I waved them away and found some water to pour on Ben's face.
He woke up spluttering.
He then looked at me "Wha-. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
"Well it might include saving you!"
"From what?"
"You should know,"
He angrily glanced at me "They are from a criminal organization. The Kanto Branch,"
"What do they want?"
"To take over the world or something evil like that,"
"See you," I quickly said and set off on the scooter.
"I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT!"
I turned and winked at him. "Ok Pidgey, Rattata and Charmander we are going to find those people from the TKB and find that Machop."
Soon I caught sight of the two people running.
"Come Back and Battle." I yelled
"He looks like that other kid!"
"Yeah but with much weaker pokemon," They both laughed.
I angrily ordered an Ember, Hyper Fang, Gust combo. They sent out Muk and Magmar.
"Mirror Move!" they shouted and Gust reflected back sending the Hyper fang into Pidgey and the Ember into Rattata.
Charmander set of another Ember which hit Muk dealing minor damage.
"He's actually better then that other guy," they laughed again.
I suddenly got an idea! "Pidgey used gust on Charmanders ember" Pidgey surrounded Magmar and Muk with a whirlwind and Charmander turned it into an inferno with ember."Stop!"
The combo ended to reveal the two pokemon weakly holding on to consciousness.
"Sludge Bomb and Flamethrower"
"Rattata dodge with quick attack and then use double team/hyper fang,"
Ben had just arrived on the scene to witness Rattata split into 15 different Rattata's and launch a devastating Hyper fang which fainted Muk and Magmar.
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4.Electrode
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I had just given the Machop back to his trainer. The man had rewarded me with a free potion.
"What do we do now?" I asked Ben
"Go against the Vermillion gym leader if you want,"

Later that day I had just fainted a yellow electric mouse called Pikachu. "How many more of these trainers do I have to face,"
"1. You go against 5 of the gym leaders trainers before challenging the leader," said the referee.
I had been battling trainers for about half an hour know and I was tired. So were my pokemon. Rattata had fainted and Charmander had taken a lot of damage.
"You final challenge before the gym leader" said the referee and another trainer walked in.

I sent out Charmander and my challenger sent out a round pokemon half red and half white.
I gasped "An Electrode! Those are dangerous!"
I ordered an Ember and the challenger ordered a Self Destruct.
"What's That" I asked but my question was drowned out by an explosion. Electrode had exploded. After the dust had cleared Electrode and Charmander were fainted.
"Its an attack so powerful that it makes the user faint," my opponent said "and by the way the name is John."
I ignored the introduction and unhappily sent out Pidgey to fight another Electrode. Flying types are unfortunately weak to Electricity.
This one exploded immediately however without orders. Pidgey was on the verge of fainting.
"Come on Pidgey you can do it!" I shouted. Pidgey recovered a little but it still looked shaken.
"Want to forfeit?" said John.
"In your dreams" I replied determined not to lose this match. So close to the leader yet so far.
He released his third pokemon and it surprised me.
"A Golduck?" Golduck's were water types or at least I thought and anyway Golduck looked like a swimmer. It's sleek blue body and webbed fins looked strange in comparison to the commonly yellow electric pokemon.
"It is water typed. The other pokemon were supplied to me by the gym. Who could stand being a trainer of just one type. Boring. Oh and Golduck use Water gun."
Golduck shot a beam of water out of its mouth. I ordered a dodge from Pidgey which barely worked.
Golduck repeated its attack which hit home this time sending Pidgey into my arms. "Can you keep going,"
Pidgey nodded slowly and I threw it into the air where it shakily hovered a few feet over the ground.
"Its still awake. Impressive I would think that it would be fainted by now,"
I coldly glared at him and I suddenly got an idea!
"Gust and Quick attack," I ordered. Pidgey immobilized Golduck and slammed into it dealing a lot of damage but not enough to faint it.
"Not good enough." He taunted "Hyper Beam!" and Golduck blasted Pidgey with a powerful beam that caused Pidgey to began fainting."Knew it couldn't beat me! Hahaha,"
Suddenly however Pidgey began glowing when it stopped glowing and it wasn't Pidgey anymore.

Behind the one way glass next to the battle field Ben gasped "It's evolved,"
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5.Voltorb
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Now use wing attack!" Pidgeotto looked at me funny. Golduck took the opportunity to launch a water gun. "At least dodge it and use Double Team" Pidgeotto's learned Double Team on evolving i think.
Luckily Pidgeotto actually pulled off the move. Pidgeotto split into about ten Pidgeotto's and they all flew at Golduck dodging a hyper beam and slammed into Golduck fainting it immediately.
"Yes!" I shouted and hugged my newly evolved pokemon.
The referee walked up to me smiling "Your pokemon will be restored to full health and you will be directed to the gym leaders special battle field,"
I handed my poke balls to the ref and he placed them into a health restore machine.

Later I walked onto a platform raised over a special battle field. It was a bright yellow and four huge generators towered at the four corners of the battle field. It was slanted toward my side of the field. The gym leader walked through a door at the other end of the room and walked onto a second raised platform.
"I commend your skill. You must be good to have come so far on your first gym challenge. Though I will not hold back. Good luck,"
The referee appeared again and began explaining the rules "This will be a three on three battle. For every win you will receive 1 point there can be no ties. After your pokemon has battled it can not battle again. The trainer with two points out of three wins."
He sent out a Voltorb. The pre evolution of Electrode. I sent out Rattata.
"Began"

Ben had exited the gym to stretch his legs before watching Chris's match and he had seen the two Kanto Branch people hanging around outside of the gym. They glanced at Ben and then began whispering to each other. Suddenly they brought out a net gun a shot it at Ben. It ensnared Ben and they quickly relieved him of his poke balls. One of them released a ball of gas called Gastly. It filled the street with gas forcing everyone indoors. Under the cover of the purple gas they dragged Ben down the street.

"Rollout" Voltorb began rolling down the slopping field. It slammed into Rattata."It gains power from the slant. You know gym leaders are allowed to have two home field," Voltorb came around for another Rollout.
"Hyper Fang," I ordered and Voltorb was blasted back.
Lt. Surge laughed "Great counter but that won't work forever you know. Voltorb use Rollout again,"
Rattata used Hyper Fang to blast it back again.
Lt. Surge ordered a forth rollout.
"I don't get what your doing but its not working. Rattata Hyper Fang," Rattata blasted Voltorb but this time it just slowed Voltorb down.
"A final Rollout Voltorb" said Lt. Surge "You know Rollout gets more powerful the more you use it," and Voltorb began rolling again.
I thought how I could stop Voltorb from hitting "Hyper Fang one last time," Rattata sent the blast of energy at Voltorb but Voltorb seemed unfased. "Double Team," I shouted desperate to win the first round. Rattata broke into about nine different Rattata's
"Lock On Voltorb" and Voltorb picked out the real Rattata sending it flying into the air to land in my arms.
"Can you keep going?" I asked. It shook its head and fainted.
Lt. Surge recalled Voltorb into its poke-ball. "Easy Pickings"

There will be more.

 

[katiekitten]

Ok...

Well, is this your first story? If it is, I'll let you off a little. It needs a bit of work. First things first...

Good Points.

The first person point of view is good. Not grammer and spelling mistakes, that I could see. (Although I don't have much of a proof reading eye) Your characters personality seems to be good, as well. You have a good writing style, that is what encouraged me to keep reading. Well done.

Bad Points and how to improve.

One of the most important words in writing: DESCRIPTION. It is harder to put it in when writing in first person, but there is none there. Nada. Zilch. What does your character look like? What does his surroundings look like? Those questions are very important. Without them, the reader can not dive into the story, experience the action. See what the character can see. Suspend disbelief. Things such as no descrition and bad spelling and grammer remind the reader that what they are reading is not real. Good authors such as Garth Nix, Philip Pullman and others draw the reader into the story, entrancing them and releasing them only when a chapter has finished. If the reader was constantly thrown back out of the story, they would just put the book down and pick up another.
Another point, did you read this through thoroughly afterwards? There is a point in the story where the character John was speaking and there was no quotation marks.
Length. Each of those episodes could have made a full length chapter. Each one should be at least a page long on word, I reckon three pages to be satisfactory. But that is only my opinion.

It needs work, granted. But this fic has potential, as do you. Work on the points I mentioned, and you'll be getting there.

 

[MiloticKnght]

6.Raichu

Lt. Surge flashed me a confident smile at me from across the Gym. "I expected more from you. Very few people have beaten all of my Minions and challenged me. Even fewer have won."
Lt. Surge was a large muscular man with yellow spiked hair. His face was long and narrow with a small nose and large blue eyes. He was wearing an army suit with some medals pin onto it.
"Maybe that is because you don't let anyone rest. It is much to hard for the majority of trainers," I liked to think of myself as good looking though my brother Ben disagreed. I had short brown hair that was prone to sticking up at random times, brown eyes and a slightly oval face. I wore a pair of jeans and a shirt with the picture of an Alakazam about to attack on the front.
He beamed at me "I take pride in knowing that this year I have given out less badges than all of the other gym leaders put together. How many?" He directed this last question at the referee.
"About five hundred sir,"
I snorted "That's not very many eh?"
His face turned red "Just battle. GO MAGNEMITE," A round pokemon with one big eye and two magnets stuck to its sides came out of the poke ball.
I thought that it looked eerie. "GO CHARMANDER" the little fire dragon popped out of its poke ball and began mentally sizing up its opponent.
"Ember," I shouted hoping to score an early hit.
"Thunder wave," and a wave of sparks pushed back the embers of fire.
We began shouting attacks. Soon our pokemon were worn out but Lt. Surge was determined to finish the battle now.
"Counter that spark attack with iron tail and follow up with Ember,"
Not one of my embers had hit so far. I had heard of a new type weak to fire called steel and that Magnemite was one of those rare pokemon but I was still not sure. The fact that Lt. Surge was desperate to dodge or counter every one of my embers was suspicious.
Lt. Surge's eyes widened as the ember attack hit Magnemite instantly fainting it. "Wonderful strategy" he said "This will actually go down to the last battle. This should be very fun!"
I recalled a tired but pleased Charmander into its poke ball and since I had won the last battle sent out my final pokemon first.
Pidgeotto looked geared for a battle "A flying type! Amusing choice but it won't pay off. GO RAICHU,"
I gasped, according to Ben Lt. Surge's Raichu was known as one of the most powerful pokemon in Kanto.

Ben groaned and sat up. He was in a small room with bars on the windows and the door. He pushed back his hair. It was not to long not to short and brown. He had a face with high cheekbones and a small nose, blue eyes and tight lips. He liked to wear loose navy cargo pants and a light blue shirt with a poke ball on the front. He looked out of the bars and saw his pokeballs on a table. A TKB member came in through the door at the end of the room and Ben threw himself onto the ground. It was important to pretend that you where still out cold as long as possible until you could come up with a plan.

Raichu looked at Pidgeotto and began smiling, the same smile that Lt. Surge had on his face at that moment. "As I said a very amusing choice and stupid too." Raichu began to suck up power from the generators at the four corners of the field.
"Pidgeotto use Gust" Pidgeotto sent a powerful blast of air at Raichu.
Another annoying laugh "Use thunder shock."
I called for a double team. I expected Raichu to shoot the attack out of its own body but it came out of all four generators. I gasped as the four attacks simultaneously hit Pidgeotto. Raichu's tail began glowing and it slammed into Pidgeotto. Sending it all the way to the ceiling."Its so powerful!"
"Raichu and me have just eaten. We are at our best with full stomachs," another annoying laugh.

"Stop faking it kid I know you are awake. Cameras you know," Ben sat up and glared at the TKB member. The girl sat in a chair and began juggling his poke balls. "I know you want these." she laughed.
Ben continued to glare at her. Then he got an idea. He reached for his bag and began rummaging through it. He found what he was looking for and flicked a switch.
"We would have banned that video game but we have decided that its harmless," she mocked.
"Not with this though!" he laughed and selected something of the game.
A face appeared and remarked that he had done something. He jammed it into the back of the game.
A face appeared on the screen and said that he had done something with his hair."You like it? I'm growing it out and I've already dyed it brown but not now. Can you send me a pokemon quick?"
The face laughed "Right. By the way the new style is good!" the game flicked off and a poke ball materialized in midair.
The TKB was calling for backup. "Rhydon protect me" and a big brown highly armored pokemon appeared at her side.
"Good I have a type advantage," Ben released a Snorlax. "Brick Break on the bars and Ice Beam on Rhydon," She gasped as Snorlax blasted through the bars and slammed Rhydon through the wall. Ben jumped out of his cell and cornered the girl. "I'd like my poke balls back."
"In your dreams."
"Not smart. Snorlax freeze her with an Ice Beam,"
"I’ll give them back," she said quickly. Ben grabbed his poke balls, waved and jumped through the wall to discover that he had been imprisoned on a ship. He released Blastoise to carry him to land.
He shook back his sodden hair. I'll need new clothes he thought.

Pidgeotto slammed into the ground and weakly stood up. I yelled “double team" it weakly began spliting.
Lt. Surge lazily looked up at the ceiling and said "You fought admirably but you are going to lose. You know that right?" I glared at him and he removed a lightning badge from his pocket. "So close to victory but so far,"
The field was now crowded with Pidgeotto's jostling each other and doubling. Then I got an idea.
"Pidgeotto fly up," they rose up as one "One Pidgeotto use gust on the other ones" and Pidgeotto whipped up its copies into a whirlwind "Now aim the gust at Raichu," the Pidgeotto whirlwind surrounded Raichu confusing it as noise and color surrounded it making a very confused Raichu which fainted on the spot.
Lt. Surges mouth dropped open "How? What? How did you?" he continued babbling as I gave Pidgeotto the thumbs up and recalled it.
"You said that you had just eaten" I said mischievously as Lt. Surge jumped onto the field to pick up Raichu "All that noise and sound made it dizzy and then nauseous. You know how that feels," I smiled at him "I think that I have won something,"
Lt. Surge grabbed some coins and handed them to me.
"I get something else,"
He angrily gave me the Lightning Badge "Don't think your special or anything. The next gym leader will destroy you in battle. Come back sometime so that I can laugh at you," and he angrily stamped off the field.
The referee approached and whispered "He's supposed to give you this too but don’t tell him I gave this to you," she handed him a small yellow disc in a case, smiled and pointed at the door.
I walked outside and sat on a bench. I had expected it to be more exciting.
Something walked up behind me and I turned around. Ben looked down at me "How did you do?"
He was dripping wet and covered with slimy seaweed "I won. What happened to you?"
He glared at me "You take pleasure in my misery don’t you,"
"Of course dear brother,"

I have to go to my grandparents for Christmas and New Years so I will miss next week.

 

[MiloticKnght]

This fic is pretty bad I have to admit so I'm going to end it. With the advice I got I'm going to make another. It will be out sometime soon. It will be just short stories about pokemon. According to my teachers I am better at short stories and sorry to anybody who may have enjoyed it