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The Deoxys Army

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Jonah the Slaking, Oct 10, 2011.


What should Oliver's fourth Pokemon be?

Poll closed Feb 5, 2012.
  1. Lucario

    0 vote(s)
  2. Breloom

    0 vote(s)
  3. Ninjask

    1 vote(s)
  4. Haxorus

    1 vote(s)
  5. Swoobat

    1 vote(s)
  1. Jonah the Slaking

    Jonah the Slaking Couch-bound Warrior

    This fic is about a concept I saw on DeviantArt, from a guy named Esebipe. He'd drawn pics of Pokemon fused with Deoxys and called them the Infected series. So I thought, what if all kinds of Pokemon were infected? And this is what I came up with--a fiction surrounding three elite Trainer heroes. I'll be working on this with Razorrozar7. Rated PG.

    THEME SONG: http://www.youtuberepeat.com/watch?v=5zdajUfrD4k Listen to this while you read. It makes it so much cooler. And keep the repeat on.

    Superpower Emboar


    It was a peaceful night in Lavaridge Town. According to the news, there would be a meteor shower tonight, and it would be visible for a few minutes. Everyone in town was excited to see it, and had pulled up chairs to watch. The sky was darkened, but not black just yet. It was the blue-grey of the last hours in the evening. As the sun finally disappeared and the stars began to speckle the sky, people began to watch for the streaks of light that signified the beginning of the meteor shower.

    "I can see it!" someone yelled. Everyone looked up to where he was looking. Sure enough, the streams of light had begun. People cheered and looked up in awe. The elderly people were reminiscent of the last meteor shower twenty years ago. The young children and babies were amazed, but slightly fearful.

    Flannery was especially amazed. As the gym leader, she had mostly attended for publicity, but now that she'd seen this for the first time, she highly doubted she'd ever forget it.

    "They're all so big," someone yelled.

    Another light appeared. However, this one behaved differently from the rest. It didn't go across the sky--it seemed to get closer to Earth. It had an eerie orange glow, counteracting the black of the night. It didn't take long for Flannery to realize what was going on. That meteor had strayed from the shower, and was headed straight for the planet. Based on the light, it looked like it was headed for Lavaridge.

    "Everyone into their homes!" Flannery screamed. "That meteor is going to hit us!"

    The townspeople panicked and ran into their homes as fast as possible. Flannery tried to keep them in order, but she was running out of time. The meteor was growing rapidly in the sky.

    "Please remain calm! Don't panic!" Flannery yelled. In reality, she was scared herself. If not for the fact that the townspeople needed help, she'd be hiding in her gym now.

    Suddenly, the meteor hit the center of Lavaridge. It wasn't too big, and everyone was safe from direct impact. Several people had been tossed through the air in the shockwave, but apart from that, everything seemed to be fine. The meteorite hadn't hit any buildings, but the sand beds were mercilessly destroyed.

    Everyone thought it was over. But then something started leaking out of the rock. At first, only a few people noticed it. But then it spread across the ground. It looked red, but in the night, it was difficult to tell.

    A humanoid figure started to rise from the liquid. It had a human-looking head with two square extensions where its ears would be. Its legs ended not in feet, but in points that would be near impossible to stand on. Its arms were two tentacle-like appendages, twisted around each other in an infinite dance of blue and red. But the oddest feature of all was its face. It had a blue face with slanted eyes that looked furious. It had a mark dividing its face into vertical halves, and it looked as if it had been cut there.

    The figure said absolutely nothing, but instead looked around. It seemed to detect the townspeople's life force.

    Suddenly, the figure lashed out at a person with its tentacles. They connected, and a strange light pulsed from the figure to the person. The person's face turned blue, with slanted eyes and a vertical slit. His arms were split in two, and these new arms twisted around each other. The citizen then lashed out at another person...and the same thing happened.

    The townspeople started screaming and running for their lives, but nothing escaped the alien figure. They were soon changed to match it. Only Flannery managed to get away, and she locked down her gym to keep the alien and its new minions from getting in.

    All Flannery could do is hope that this was just a dream, that she would wake up in her bed and live her normal life the next day.

    Sadly, however, this was in no way a dream.
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2012
  2. Dr.Chaos

    Dr.Chaos stick in the mud

    Interesting idea. I wonder how the heroes will fight off the deoxys. Those deoxys fuses are pretty cool. For anyone else wanting to see the pictures, here is the link: http://esepibe.deviantart.com/gallery/64815
  3. Jonah the Slaking

    Jonah the Slaking Couch-bound Warrior

    Chapter 1
    One Year Later

    The beam of sunlight shone directly in my face. There was no way I could keep my eyes closed with it there. I sat up in my bed and stretched with a yawn. It was going to be another boring day, I could just tell already.

    Suddenly, Molly burst into my room, holding an envelope. "Wake up, Eric!" she screamed. "Today is the day!"

    Molly was a small girl, about a foot shorter than I was. She was dressed already, wearing a matching black sweater and pants. I never figured out why she wore all black, and I never asked.

    I was suddenly wide awake. "Today?!" I asked. I was so shocked that I forgot to mention my usual greeting to her about knocking first.

    "Yes! We finally get to do something about this whole situation. Meet me downstairs! I'm so excited!"

    Molly ran out of my room and over to the stairs. She slid down the banister. I shook my head.

    I have to back up a bit. Molly was so excited about today because of something that Sootopolis's Gym Leader Juan had told us about eleven months ago. He told us that eventually, even though Sootopolis was isolated from the rest of Hoenn due to the cliff wall that overlooked it, something might eventually go wrong. Deoxys would eventually find his way here, and we all knew it. Juan had told us to stay ready, to train our Pokemon by battling each other and Juan himself. Juan got a scientist that worked under him to research Deoxys's infection and create a medicine. The fact that today was finally the day to set out into Hoenn meant that the medicine was finally finished. Now, we could cure any infected Pokemon that we saw, and maybe even destroy Deoxys once and for all.

    My name is Eric Starstorm. My team consists of Deta the Porygon Z, Broadsword the Gallade, and last but not least, Forcefire the Volcarona. My friends, Oliver and Molly, were my fellow voyagers into this dangerous task. Molly had a Jellicent, a Salamence, and a Galvantula, while Oliver had Tropius, Magnezone, and Weavile.

    I jumped out of bed and got dressed. Juan had told us that, if we were to journey out into Hoenn, we would have to rendevouz the morning before. So I sprinted down the stairs, and ran out the door.

    Sootopolis's geography made it difficult to get to the specified rendevouz point. I let out Forcefire, and she flew me over the salty water, allowing me to meet with my friends at the entrance to the Cave of Origin. Juan and Molly awaited me there. Oliver arrived soon after I did.

    Oliver was about my size. He had a headband on, along with a heavy jacket. It looked uncomfortable to me.

    "There's something in this cavern that I've been keeping from you kids," Juan said. "If you are to truly end this once and for all, you will need it."

    We followed Juan into the cave until we got to the bottom. Inside were two pits; one full of lava, the other full of water. Between them was a small stone with miniscule craters in it, presumably created by microscopic spacial debris.

    "This fell off the rock that Deoxys emerged from and landed here," Juan explained. "If my theory is correct, you can seal Deoxys within once he's weak enough."

    "Like a Poke Ball?" Oliver asked.

    "No! Do not try to release him! He will still attack anything that moves, and that includes you!"

    "OK, OK."

    "As I was saying, once you seal Deoxys in this, everything that he infected will be healed as his influence is brought into the meteorite with him. I'm afraid there is no way to infinitely destroy him. You must seal him and make sure he is never released. Do I make myself clear?"

    "Yes," we all said in unison.

    "Excellent. Good luck to you all. Oh, and meet with Professor Hawthorne. He will supply you with enough medicine to cure at least two cities of Deoxys's infection."

    "Hawthorne is the scientist you asked to make the antibiotics, right?" Molly asked.

    "Yes. Now then, I have to go. Come back if you need more medicine."

    Juan left the Cave of Origin.

    "We should leave too," I said. "We have to meet with Hawthorne. Let's go so we can get to work."

    Molly nodded, and Oliver scratched his head, his eyes half-closed. We all walked out of the Cave of Origin and flew over, via Pokemon, to Hawthorne's house.

    "Hello, kids," Hawthorne said as he opened the door. "I've been expecting you. Here's the antibiotics." He handed us a pouch.

    Hawthorne was old. He had a crook in his back and a white mustache.

    "Thanks," I said. I took the pouch and put it in my bag. "Wish us luck."

    Hawthorne closed the door. We started to walk away, then climbed onto our Pokemon and flew out of Sootopolis for the first time in a year.
  4. If you are thinking of making a PM list go ahead and add me please. I looked at the pictures in the link and wow. . . That's a pretty cool idea.
  5. Jonah the Slaking

    Jonah the Slaking Couch-bound Warrior

    Chapter 2
    The First Trial

    I was on Forcefire's back. Oliver was on Tropius, and Molly was on Salamence. We were flying away from Sootopolis and towards Lilycove. Many infected fish Pokemon were below us, and it was clear that they would get to Sootopolis soon. Very soon. It probably would only be a few more days. I prayed that Juan would be able to defend Sootopolis on his own.

    "Hey, I can see Lilycove from here," Molly said. She had much better eyesight than Oliver or I did. Salamence let out a tongue of flame from his maw, offering a challenge to any infected Pokemon foolish enough to draw near it. Forcefire let out a similar hiss, and Tropius a low growl.

    "Here come the birds," Oliver said. He seemed oddly nonchalant.

    The "birds" were Deoxys's army of Swellow, Pelipper, and other birds native to Hoenn--although there were some other Tropius along with them. They were all red and blue, with slits and slanted eyes on their faces, and tentacles where some of their appendages would have been. It isn't a good thing to see a dozen or so infected animals flying towards you.

    Forcefire lit her wings aflame, and wrapped a Skarmory in a Firey Dance attack. The Skarmory fell into the ocean below. Oliver's Tropius used Air Slash on several other Tropius, cutting off their leaf-wings. Salamence had hit with Outrage, knocking more than one Swellow out of the sky.

    I felt remorse, seeing as how I couldn't help the avian creatures instead of killing them...but there was no other way. It's not like I could jump off of Forcefire's back and jab them with the needle....Well, I could, but it wouldn't end well, and chances are I'd end up missing. So I had to let what must be done, be done.

    Oliver's Tropius used Leaf Blade on a Pelipper that had lashed out at me while I was distracted. Its wings fell off, and it fell. If it had survived Leaf Blade, it wouldn't survive very long before bleeding out.

    "Don't get distracted, Eric," Oliver said. "You can't die yet, you're the only one with a Volcarona."

    "I hardly see why that's any reason to keep me alive," I replied as Forcefire incinerated another Skarmory. "The reason to keep me alive is because, if I die, then there will only be the two of you left to fight this war."

    Salamence hacked off a Swellow's beak with his claws. "Be that as it may, Volcarona IS powerful," Molly said. "The only one better is Salamence, in my opinion."

    Most of the birds were gone now. Only a handful of Tropius remained. Normal Tropius would have turned tail and flown away, but these infected ones were full of naught but pure malice and hate. So they charged, lashing out at us with inaccurate tentacle strikes. Salamence used Flamethrower, lighting them all on fire. They fell into the ocean, writhing in pain.

    "That was rough," Oliver said.

    "You're kidding, right?" I replied incredulously. "There couldn't have been any more than twenty of them."

    "I never expected the infected Pokemon to be so...mindless," Molly said thoughtfully. "Deoxys is smart, even if it mostly uses those mental faculties for evil thoughts. The point is that Deoxys's intelligence should've rubbed off on them somehow."

    "Yes, but keep in mind that the infected organism's true soul is gone. Deoxys is simply controlling their body like a master puppeteer," I pointed out. "Every action they take is his action."

    "That means that he knows what we're up to. So much for the element of surprise," Oliver muttered.

    "We won't need the element of surprise," Molly laughed. "Deoxys is a Psychic type, right? We have tons of countermeasures towards that. Even Salamence has Shadow Claw."

    "Still, Deoxys is the fastest Pokemon in the world, even if it's just in Attack form," Oliver pointed out. "I mean, sure, it has Defense form, but it's only going to go to that form to block us. The low Speed is no obstacle to him. And even that form is faster than a few of our Pokemon."

    "We have an advantage," I said. "In one-on-one combat, we've done our homework on this guy. We know exactly what to expect from him. He, on the other hand, has only seen the beginning of our Pokemon's strength. By the time we fight him, we'll have mostly gotten rid of his presence in Hoenn anyway. He won't have any spies to look in on us. So as long as we work fast, Deoxys will have no idea what to expect."

    "There's Lilycove," Oliver said. "Do we land there?"

    "I'd rather bypass Lilycove if possible," Molly said. "The place is enormous. We'd better try our luck in Fortree first. Let's land near the Safari Zone gate."

    I nodded. Forcefire understood too, and she started descending, with Salamence and Tropius following soon thereafter. We would probably have to deal with more infected Pokemon, but these we could purge of Deoxys's influence, and they could help us after that. Our Pokemon flared their wings, and we hopped off their backs. I lead the way towards the west, headed for Fortree, and with it, our first major battle.
  6. Glover

    Glover Pain in Rocket side

    On the one hand, this is awesome, as are the fusions.

    On the other, I like Deoxys, and making him a zombie-master kinda voilates that.

    Regardless, I'd like to be PM'd
  7. Jonah the Slaking

    Jonah the Slaking Couch-bound Warrior

    I don't intend on making a PM list, sorry about that.

    Chapter 3
    A Town Taken Over

    As we descended over the grassy forest that was the road to Fortree, Forcefire started to let out a guttural hiss. I glanced at her, and she looked at me with a look of fear.

    "There's nothing to be afraid of, girl," I assured her. "You can handle any infected Pokemon that come up to us. I know that for sure."

    Though she seemed slightly reassured, I could feel her shaking.

    "Let's land here," Oliver said. "It's near the town. We can make an attack plan while they don't see us."

    "Good idea," I replied. I lightly tapped my heels into Forcefire's side, and she flared her wings, coming to a stop. Oliver and Molly did the same, and we landed in the grass. We knew we had to stay out of the woods--Absol lived there, and they were silent and deadly. If we were to go into the trees, we'd be dead in minutes.

    "Let's make a plan of attack," I began. "The Pokemon that can fly will hide in the treetops, with us on their backs. All of the other Pokemon, save for Deta and Galvantula, will stay here. Galvantula will sneak around the town via the forest and distract the infected Pokemon and people with Thunders. While the rest of them surprise attack from behind them, we and the flying Pokemon will sneak over to the gym. If it's in lockdown, then Deta will hack into the system and unlock it. Then we can get Winona and her junior trainers to help us take Fortree back. Sound good?"

    "Not a bad idea," Oliver said. "But what if Galvantula gets ambushed in the woods?"

    "Well, he can definitely fend for himself. Plus, Absol won't be able to sneak up on him, since he can detect changes in the air current."

    "How do you know that?"

    "ALL spiders can do that!"

    "Really? I thought that was just Ariados."

    I shook my head. "Learn anatomy."

    Molly spoke up. "I have some misgivings too," she said. "Wouldn't the infected people see if the flying Pokemon went into the trees? They're a bit inconspicuous to go unnoticed. Especially the five-foot fire moth."

    "Galvantula's Thunders are powerful enough to direct the attention of all of the infected residents. I know that from experience. Now, unless anyone has a better idea, we need to attack now."

    There was a disturbing silence. I took their silence as acknowledgement.

    "Then let's do this."

    Molly nodded to Galvantula, and he scuttled into the trees. We jumped on our flying Pokemon, and let out all of our Pokemon, save for Deta. We all stayed where we were until we saw a huge bolt of lightning hit the tree farthest from us. We heard a great commotion and took action. Forcefire, Tropius and Salamence took off and hid in the treetops. As the others attacked, we flew down to the gym. No one saw us, and the gym was, as I had predicted, on lockdown. I let Deta out of his Poke ball and showed him the keypad. His torso opened, and he plugged a small screwdriver-like object into the keypad. A small electrical pulse traveled from him into the keypad, and the gym doors opened. We heard several screams.

    "It's ok!" I said. "We're here to help you! We're not one of them." We all stepped into the gym, and Winona's eyes widened when she saw that we weren't infected.

    "You...you're free? Who are you?" one of the junior trainers asked. I could tell that his voice was full of absolute terror.

    "I'm Eric. These are my friends, Oliver and Molly. As I mentioned before, we're here to take Fortree back from Deoxys's slaves. But we'll need your help."

    "Say no more," Winona said. She let out her Swellow. "We'll help you. We've almost run out of supplies. It's about time we took our town back."

    "Excellent," I said. "Just be careful. They won't hesitate to infect or kill you. Let us take the lead. We're immune to the virus."

    "How are you immune? I do not understand."

    "No time. Just take some of these and stick them into every one of the infected residents you see." I handed out about ten needles each to Winona and her junior trainers. "This will cure them of Deoxys's influence."

    "Arceus help us all," Winona breathed.

    "Let's get a move on!" Molly yelled. "They're coming for us!"

    I turned around. Molly had been keeping an eye out for the enemies. It was a good idea, and I don't know why I hadn't thought of it. I came over and looked outside, and sure enough, the infected residents were coming towards the gym from all sides. Our Pokemon were knocking out as many as they could, but they couldn't stall for us forever.

    "Time to move," I said. I ran outside and towards the nearest person, then jabbed a needle into his shoulder. He tried to throw me off, but he couldn't before I pushed down on the plunger. He turned back into a normal human. He looked at his hands, but the other infected residents jabbed him with tentacles. He was unaffected. One of the infected Pokemon--I assumed it was a Houndoom--let out a terrible screech. The person ran and hid behind me.

    "What in the hell is going on?!" he demanded. "Those are the..."

    "There's no time now," I said. "Get into the gym!"

    I didn't have to tell him twice. He sprinted into the gym. The rest of us attacked the infected residents once again. Less and less started coming to attack us as we cured more and more of Deoxys's infection. We were injured, but we couldn't let that stop us. Our Pokemon knocked out as many as their power would allow, and we turned them human again. As they were returned to normal, the humans ran back to the gym, and the Pokemon helped us. We were rapidly gaining the upper hand.

    "We've almost got it! Molly, tell your Salamence to clear out these Absol!" I exclaimed. Forcefire and Deta were fending off some Absol, but they had to keep their distance. Molly was silent. "Molly?" I called.

    I turned around. Molly was unconscious.

    "What happened?!" I demanded. Oliver was guarding Molly with Salamence's help.

    "One of the Absol snuck up on her," Oliver said. "She'll live, but it cut her head. She fainted from blood loss. I gave her some of the medicine, just in case, and I managed to stop the bleeding, but without her to direct Salamence, we might be in trouble."

    "We've taken out too many to give up now," I lamented. "Just use your Pokemon. We can do this!"

    "I know, but--"

    "No time! Just fight!"

    Oliver nodded. Then he pointed in my direction. "Behind you!"

    I turned around, and saw an infected Absol staring right into my eyes. He swung the blade on his forehead directly at my throat.
  8. SuicuneScale

    SuicuneScale Is that a cookie?

    Awesome fanfic.
    Will other legendaries show up?
    Time will tell.
  9. Jonah the Slaking

    Jonah the Slaking Couch-bound Warrior

    Chapter 5 will be up tomorrow, the day after, or next weekend. Stay posted.

    Chapter 4
    A Town Taken Over Part 2

    The Absol's forehead blade went straight for my throat. Time seemed to slow down, and the loud roars and yells around me were now nothing more than muffled blurs. The Absol's glaring face, the chaos all around us...I knew this was the end. I sighed and waited as the blade closed in on my throat.

    Suddenly, I heard a huge slashing sound. The Absol's blade stopped in its tracks. It was so close to my neck that I could feel static coming from it. It stepped back, then fell over. Winona's Swellow was behind it, and it had saved me with its Aerial Ace.

    "Thank you!" I exclaimed. Oliver whooped.

    Swellow cawed, then flapped its wings and flew off. I knelt down in front of the Absol. It was still infected, and there was a large gash on its back, but it wasn't dead yet. Its eyes looked up at me, full of rage and mindlessness. I took out a needle of the antibiotics, and injected it into Absol's leg. It returned to normal color, and let out a whimper of what I could've sworn was remorse. I stayed by its side.

    "Eric, what are you doing?" Oliver asked.

    "I can't let this Absol die for me," I replied. I searched through my medicine case and found some gauze.

    "We don't have time for this!" Oliver exclaimed. His Tropius used Earthquake, knocking over a few of the infected residents.

    "Yes we do! We're winning by a long shot." I turned back to Absol and wrapped the wound in gauze. It looked at me, renewed hope in its eyes. Even with the wound wrapped up, it wouldn't be safe to leave it outside. So I took an empty Poke Ball and tapped it against Absol's forehead. It was converted into white light and sucked into the Poke Ball. The ball didn't shake before it clicked--the Absol was just too weary to struggle.

    "OK, you caught it. Now can we please get back to the task at hand?" Oliver said exasperatedly.

    "Yeah, yeah. Let's finish up here."

    Forcefire and Deta looked at me, awaiting instruction. I knew that Broadsword was hard at work, so I didn't expect him to respond.

    "Forcefire, go up as high as you can. Then use Bug Buzz at max power."

    Forcefire nodded vigorously. She flew upwards.

    "Deta, can you use Recover on other Pokemon?"

    Deta lifted both its arms in an expression that was somewhat like a shrug.

    "Just try, then. Use it on this." I set Absol's Poke Ball on the ground. Deta tapped his arm on the button, and the wounded Absol came out, in the same position in which it had been caught. He then laid his arm on the gash in Absol's back. A yellow light surrounded him, and Absol's wound slowly closed. Absol seemed to regain strength, and slowly stood up on shaky legs. As the yellow light faded, Absol stood more and more confidently, until finally, it let out a loud bark. It was ready to fight.

    "OK! Absol, go up to all the infected residents you see and Sucker Punch them!"

    Absol was happy to comply. He ran off, searching for people to knock out.

    "That was a good thing you did, there," Oliver said. He smiled.

    "Yeah, but you'd have done the same thing, wouldn't you?"

    "Fair enough."

    Suddenly, an orange light appeared in the sky. Forcefire was about to use Bug Buzz.

    "Cover your ears!" I yelled. Everyone that wasn't infected slapped their hands on their ears, and Salamence shielded Molly with its great wings.

    Forcefire vibrated her wings at high speed, and a crashing sound wave hit the trees. All of the infected residents were caught by surprise. They fell over, clutching their heads in agony. They fell over, unconscious, after a few seconds. Forcefire descended to meet me again, as Oliver and I went around and injected the medicine into the residents.

    Even though Molly had been shielded, the noise managed to wake her up. The first thing she saw was Salamence, standing above her and shaking violently. In his defense of Molly, he had neglected his own safety, and his ears must have been ringing violently. Molly hopped onto her feet and recalled Salamence--he clearly needed to rest. She ran up beside me. "Where're Galvantula and Jellicent?" she asked me.

    "They're OK," I replied. "They were too tired to fight, so I sent them to the gym to keep an eye on the citizens."

    "Thank Arceus," Molly sighed.

    Oliver and the gym staff came up to us. All the citizens of Fortree had been cured--which I knew because they were trudging to the gym, shivering.

    "One down," I said. "I'm coming for you, Deoxys!"


    Other legendaries will, in fact, show up in this fic. Which ones, I shan't reveal...yet.
  10. Jonah the Slaking

    Jonah the Slaking Couch-bound Warrior

    I might just make that PM list after all. It's only two people, how hard can it be? No more than five people, though.

    Chapter 5
    The Aftermath

    The three of us were still in Fortree at this point. Winona insisted that we couldn't leave until she found a way to thank us properly. Deoxys hadn't messed with anything other than the people in town, so they were able to return to their normal business with relative ease. The treehouses had splintered from Forcefire's Bug Buzz, but there were still plenty of trees around, and they'd be able to rebuild in no time. The Mart opened, Nurse Joy returned to the Pokemon Center, and people returned to their homes. I was happy to see that we had helped cause this new-found peace.

    "Here comes Winona," Oliver said.

    We all turned around. Sure enough, Winona was coming to meet up with us. She was still in her gym leader garb, and I couldn't help but wonder if she ever wore anything else.

    "Thank you all," Winona said. "Fortree is forever in your debt. Come back anytime."

    "I have to thank you too," I replied. "Your Swellow saved my life."

    "I know," she said with a smile. "I told it to."

    "Well, either way, thank you."

    "Before you leave, there's something I think you'll need. Come with me."

    Winona walked towards the Pokemon Center. We followed. Instead of going inside, she went around it, towards the back. We exchanged glances, but went behind as well. The ground back here looked slightly ersatz. Winona knelt down and opened a section of it.

    "This passage was used by me and Flannery," Winona explained. "We keep in touch. It leads to the basement level of Lavaridge Town's Pokemon Center."

    "Lavaridge Town?!" Molly exclaimed. "That's where Deoxys first landed!"

    "I know that. You can probably use it to get a lead on Deoxys's location."

    "Thank you so much! You have no idea how easy Deoxys has made this. If only he'd been a bit more thorough," Oliver said with an evil smile.

    "Good luck on your journey," Winona said. "And once again, thank you."

    We climbed a ladder down into the underground passageway. Once inside, Winona shut the trapdoor, and we were surrounded by complete darkness.
  11. Glover

    Glover Pain in Rocket side

    That felt quick, but was still fun. A bit more detail could be useful, definately. ALso, I'm getting a sens of "infinite syrum" going. Either a medicine lab or something may need to be hit.

    Legendaries, Rayquaza is the obvious one, still blasting away at every Deoxys he can find.
  12. Jonah the Slaking

    Jonah the Slaking Couch-bound Warrior

    I felt the same way about the details, actually. But the serum isn't infinite, they got enough for two cities. Fortree is more of a village.

    Chapter 6
    The Tunnel

    The tunnel was definitely dark. It was so dark that I couldn't see in front of me even an inch.

    "Someone has Flash, right?" I asked no one in particular. Molly let out Bugzapper, and he let out a gurgle. A bright light emanated from his backside, and we saw that the tunnel had a surprisingly high ceiling. It was about fifteen feet from the floor. Water was flowing across the sides of the tunnel, but it was merely a small imprint, so it wasn't significant enough to make much difference in the structure. The walls were covered in dings and bumps. There was moss on parts of the floor, and burned out light bulbs in the ceiling.

    "Something tells me that Winona didn't build this herself," Oliver said, looking around. He was clearly taking in the details I just described.

    "Yeah, this tunnel has got to be older than both Flannery and Winona combined!" Molly exclaimed.

    "That's all well and good, but we need to get moving," I said sternly.

    Molly, Oliver, and Bugzapper nodded and followed me as I walked through the tunnel. It wouldn't be a short walk, since the distance between Lavaridge and Fortree was substantial, but it would go faster if we kept moving.

    Bugzapper tensed up. He looked around, and froze when he looked behind us. I turned around and froze up too.

    "What is it?" Molly asked.


    Oliver and Molly turned around. Hundreds of infected Zubat were flying right behind us.

    For a moment, there was complete silence, other than the sounds of flapping wings. No one moved. Suddenly, we all turned around and sprinted in the opposite direction. The Zubat followed shortly after, squeaking and shrieking loudly.

    "Can I ask why we're running from Zubat?!" Oliver yelled over the wingbeats and shrieks.

    "Would you rather die?!" I exclaimed in reply.

    We ran on in silence. The Zubat were gaining on us.

    "Enough of this! Bugzapper, Thunder!" Molly exclaimed.

    Bugzapper screeched to a halt, turned around, and crackled with electricity. He let out a huge lightning bolt from the hairs on his back, and it collided with an unlucky Zubat. It then bounced from Zubat to Zubat, frying them all nicely. By the time the attack was over, the tunnel smelled like popcorn.

    "Is it wrong that I'm tempted to eat one?" Oliver asked.

    We turned to Oliver incredulously, Bugzapper included. "Dude," I said, shaking my head.

    "Right, right. Sorry."

    "Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to set up camp here," Molly said thoughtfully. "We just eliminated any infected Pokemon in here, and it's pretty spacious. And we do need to eat something, and a good night's sleep."

    I nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

    We let out all of our Pokemon, and I took out three collapsible tents from my bag. Broadsword helped me pitch the tents, and Forcefire lit a campfire from a pile of moss. We had set up camp in about fifteen minutes.

    Next chapter will be up tomorrow, methinks.
  13. I liked the the last few chapters, especially the huge battle, sorry i haven't commented in a while. anyway, keep up the great work!
  14. Glover

    Glover Pain in Rocket side

    That was awesome. Short, to the point, well decripted, and awesome. This tunnel sounds to me like the Underpass, though that may well be too far north since it goes to Fallarbor and not Lavaridge.

    Couple of notes:
    Chronological order may well prove this wrong, but I'm making a suggestion to cut down the number of "and"s. Technically though, if Forcefire didn't start the magic until after the tents were up, while would be wrong too.

    Not sure about that Semicolon, but to me, it needs less of a period but more of a comma.

    Umm, because there's a million of them and that's what any sensible person does when out-numbered, with or without an alien zombie virus?

    So it wasn't creates too much of a stop in that sentence, like it wants to be a seperate sentence. Actully, it could be, it being the pronoun there, though "so it" sounds horrible. I just yanked out your subject and bridged them. It's a long sentence, but I think its justifed.

    Ah, the joys of just where attacks come from...

    Children. So young, so needing to be popped in the head with a cane. They do realize that would only be a sum total of <55 years, that's NOT OLD! Assuming Winona is in the 30s range, and Flannery's a new-ish gym leader, so she can't be much older than her mid twenties...
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2011
  15. Jonah the Slaking

    Jonah the Slaking Couch-bound Warrior

    Thanks for the review! I lol'd at the Bugzapper part.

    I swear, this one will be better. I guess I need English classes after all. XD

    Chapter 7
    A Dark Dream

    None of us were awake, save for Deta and I. Deta never slept, and this was one of those nights where I had insomnia. Deta beeped every so often, probably because he was running system checks. I, on the other hand, was laying beside Forcefire, staring at the ceiling of the tunnel.

    Eventually, I started drifting off to sleep. Deta floated over to the side to, once again, scan us all for traces of the virus. My eyelids fluttered, and in a few minutes, I was asleep.

    • • •

    I woke up not long after I'd fallen asleep. But something was wrong. I couldn't see anything. The room was pitch-black. I wondered if the fire had gone out, but then I saw evidence that I was in a dream--I was laying in a plushy bed. I was tucked in so tightly that I couldn't move.

    Suddenly, a black figure appeared. Given the darkness of the room, I was surprised that I could see it. It looked somewhat humanoid, but it didn't have legs--it looked as if it was wearing a ripped skirt. Its neck was surrounded by what appeared to be a huge, red bottom jaw, but there was no top jaw to accompany it. The figure's head was covered in white, wispy hair.

    "Greetings, Eric," the figure said. "I am Darkrai. Do not be alarmed--I will release you from this dream soon enough."

    "Darkrai?!" I exclaimed in alarm. Darkrai sighed and looked at me wearily.

    "I do not mean you harm," Darkrai said. "I wish only to tell you something. It is about this Deoxys character."

    "...What about him?"

    "I encountered him."


    "Calm yourself. I will tell you what you need to know." Darkrai drifted to the side. "I was flying over Hoenn, looking for Cresselia, as she had something I needed. Deoxys said that I was unfortunate to have crossed him, and that I would now become his slave. He attacked me. I managed to hit him with Dark Void, but I still only just survived the encounter. He chased me for a time. Eventually, he gave up...and headed for Sky Pillar. I fear he is going to attempt to infect Rayquaza. I am well aware that Rayquaza can fend for itself, but it will not know what to expect--it has only faced a Deoxys once before, and it had not the ferocity that this one does. I must beseech your aid. I will try to fend off Deoxys for as long as possible, but please...you must help us."

    "I understand. Rayquaza is one of the only forces left on our side. We don't really have much choice."

    "In that case...I will be there when you arrive. Please, make haste!"

    With that, the dark room was replaced with a vortex of light. I woke with a start--for real this time. I shook Molly and Oliver awake.

    "Wake up!" I yelled. Molly sprang to her feet, but Oliver rolled over. I kicked him in the side, and he got up, albeit reluctantly. As they woke up, I returned their Pokemon and handed them the Poke balls.

    "What's wrong, Eric?" Molly asked.

    "What's wrong is that Darkrai and Rayquaza are fighting Deoxys as we speak!" I yelled. "Let's move!"

    Even Oliver sprinted with us down the remaining length of the tunnel. We got to a staircase that ended in a patch of fake dirt. I opened the trapdoor, and we ran through.

    Almost immediately, the infected citizens of Lavaridge noticed us and attacked. We all sent out our flying Pokemon and climbed on their backs, then we took off. The infected citizens attacked us to no avail as we all flew towards Sky Pillar as fast as our Pokemon could go.
  16. Glover

    Glover Pain in Rocket side

    Have you read my fic? English is my only language, and the grammar SUCKS! Don't sweat it.

    First Read-through, I didn't see a whole lot to call out. commas areound "to no avail" maybe, and I'm glad to see Darkrai okay. Makes sense for a Dark type to survive. I'll get back with something more formal later, I gots to scoot.

    Oh, and I will admit, these two could go as one chapter. There's no need to, but they might work better as one, if you ever repost this someplace else. Snd don't worry about a schedule, if that's the cause.
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2011
  17. seems rushed but good.

    H*lls ya! Darkrai Beating down Deoxys! what else could you want in the world?
  18. Jonah the Slaking

    Jonah the Slaking Couch-bound Warrior

    Well, I appreciate your enthusiasm Emboar, but they're actually quite even. Deoxys is a lot faster and has Focus Blast.
  19. SuicuneScale

    SuicuneScale Is that a cookie?

    PM list please.
  20. Jonah the Slaking

    Jonah the Slaking Couch-bound Warrior

    You got it.

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