The Destiny of Yann!

[-~*Escense*~-]

Plot: Not telling, exept the main charactor gets involved in a unique adventure with a twist, trying to save the world of pokemon from a super-weapon,

Characters *Spoiler if you havnt read comic #1&

Kate:
Age:15
Gender:Female
Pokemonending
Interests:Nature, Photography.
height:1.5 metres.

Episode One: Confusion!
episode two: the choice
Episode three: Last train
Episode four: The Noise​

 

[dabou]

ok, C&C time!

-things to improve on:

1. is the girl a mute? She doesnt seem very talkative.
2. the text is unreadable. use darker colors, so it'll be easyer to read
3. What's wrong with the dad's sprite? it seems JPG-afied. save as PNG.
4. Grammer needs improvement at some places
5. what the heck is the blue thing on the dad's head??? is it gunna eat him? If that is s'pose to be a sweatdrop, I suggest making another.
6. you should use sprites made by yourself, not in-game sprites. It'll give the comic its own look.

now let's look at the bright side!

1. Jokes are a bit funny, didn't make me roll on the floor laughing though, but still funny
2. nice light affects! it loooks really cool.
3. doesn't seem too cliché right now, so thass good too

i give this a B- since its your first comic. Not bad for a start though.

 

[-~*Escense*~-]

Ok, im working on the next few episodes, im going to release two at a time, and post the towns once there done. episode two is under construction...

Spoiler:

This episode takes place in 'Faraway Farm' as pictured below. Kate has to make a big choice, but what will that choice be? find out in Episode two: A Hard choice...

Faraway Farm

 

[Smile Guy]

AARRGGHH!!

Please change the font colour; it's giving me a nightmare. I'd thought you'd forgotten to put in the words and only found out there were words when I highlighted it but sitll couldn't read it.

!!HHGGRRAA

 

[-~*Escense*~-]

Episode four: the sound episode four

 

[MochiShroom]

It's nice, but you need to work on capitalizing. Kate's a little boring, so maybe you can try editing her. But so far I think it's pretty good! At least it's not a boring journey comic.