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The Disingenuous Magearna

Discussion in 'Completed Fics' started by The Teller, Feb 18, 2016.

  1. The Teller

    The Teller King of Half-Truths

    So I whipped this up quickly for a laugh. Maybe it's darkly humorous? Feel free to let me know! Anyway, with no one to dispute me, this is now all canon and you'll just have to live with that. Toodles!

    Meanwhile, at the Pokémon Information Distribution "Dungeon"- Location Echo (PIDDLE)...

    Grown women with identical bob cuts and low cut business suits, all fraternal twins, are furiously typing away on fancy computers. Holographic screens are displaying data, mostly 1s and 0s, at an alarming rate, with some screens displaying random locations or live news feeds. Old screens are fading out and are quickly replaced with fresh, new screens. The entire room is dimly lit.

    At the back of the room, there is an elevated platform. There is a singular desk stationed on the platform. Oddly enough, the desk is aligned with older model computers. These monitors show wave lengths and entirely different, basic 1s and 0s data, displayed in black and red LED lights. A man cloaked in shadow stands behind them. Despite being cloaked in shadow, one could still tell that he is impeccably dressed.

    "Status report," says a man.

    One of the women speaks up without removing her eyes from her screens or cease typing.

    "The information leak was successful. Reports from ONBS Station, Lumiose Press, and the Goldenrod Radio Tower are coming in at a steady pace."

    "These were the ones the higher ups purposefully leaked the information to in the first place, correct?"

    "Correct, sir."

    "Continue."

    "All other major regions are reporting on the news as well. Story is consistent. 'A new Pokémon has been discovered. It is a man-made Pokémon, over 500 years old, possessing the "Soul Heart", and is called Magearna.' Only inconsistencies are its typing and which region it originated from."

    "We can resolve those issues later, or perhaps they'll solve themselves. Good, so the information spread quickly as we had planned."

    "Correct, sir. Some stations are running a nonstop program dedicated to Magearna, focusing all their efforts on it. Magearna is the number one hit on all search engines and social media. Several professors have already gone public stating their interest in studying this new Pokémon. Celebrities are talking about it on their online accounts. Elite Four members and Champions have made statements as well."

    "Excellent. Keep track of information traffic. Let me know if anything changes."

    "Yes sir."

    The cloaked man turns around and heads deeper into PIDDLE. Through many dimly lit hallways, he eventually steps into a very large, dimly lit room. He stands in the center of this room. Suddenly, projections of various higher ups appear all around him. They, too, are cloaked in shadow, yet noticeably well dressed. They are also all old, bald men.

    "How is the information leaking program progressing?" says one of the men.

    "It's become a massive success. Magearna is all anyone is talking about."

    "Excellent. Be sure to release the bare minimum of information about it over an overly long, drawn out process over the next several months."

    "Of course, sir."

    "We discovered that Pokémon many years ago, yet hid its existence from the public for this very reason," says another one of the men. "We should exploit its novelty for all its worth before it becomes useless to us."

    "We must keep the masses entertained," pipes up a third man. "In this Pokémon-centered society, a newly discovered Pokémon species is the best way to keep the people from thinking about important things."

    "The more the people talk about this new Pokémon, the less they'll talk about civilization-destroying topics such as widespread poverty, a crumbling economy, why Super Potions cost more than Moomoo Milks despite healing less, jacked up prices on everyday items, world hunger, the huge restriction on the number of Master Balls a trainer is allowed to have, the decaying state of the planet, the number of evil organizations that actually succeed in their world conquering or world destroying goals before being thwarted by a single child, ongoing tensions with foreign countries with considerable destructive firepower, and the overpopulation of Zigzagoons," says a fourth man.

    "I understand this," says the center man.

    "We must not let the people know the truth," says the first man. "They cannot be trusted with their own well-being."

    "Continue on as planned. Monitor the situation. Release new, trivial information when public interest starts to die down," says the second man.

    "As you wish, sir."

    The projections shut off and the man goes back to the original room.
     
  2. AmericanPi

    AmericanPi Write on

    Hi! American--Pi here, and welcome to the Weekly Review! Here's how it works: Once every week I pick a one-shot or a chaptered fic to review. I try to alternate between the Fan Fiction and Shipping Fics forums. My reviews are Review Game-style, which means that for Fan Fiction I pick four out of the eleven Review Game criteria and comment on them as much as I want to (but at least two sentences per criterion). Every time I try to pick four different criteria, but usually I just comment on whatever in the story catches my eye.

    Since I like to give some feedback on stories that haven't have any comments yet, I decided to review this one-shot. I also like to review stories written by authors I haven't reviewed yet, and I haven't reviewed any of your works yet, so enjoy this review. It's on the shorter side, but so was the one-shot so I guess it's alright.

    Opening
    First things first, I thought that acronym was hilarious. Which drew me into the fic. Were you inspired by Captain Underpants, by any chance? That series of ridiculously stupid but strangely enjoyable books features funny acronyms all the time, such as POOPSIE (Piqua Order Of Professional Stellar International Explorers, or something like that).

    Dialogue
    This dialogue was quite amusing, partially because of how long-winded it was, but I still think it could have been broken up. Currently it's a huge chunk of text, and we don't know who's saying it until the end. Personally I would write it as:
    Enjoyment
    Personally I think this fic had the darkly humorous effect you were going for. Aside from the aforementioned amusing acronym, I thought the one-shot was short and to the point. For me, the shortness helped to convey the punchline and slice-of-life of the story.

    Plot
    I really liked your interesting idea behind the plot, and I feel that this secret organization you've created can be the basis of a really interesting story. That said, this one-shot definitely stands well on its own. I found it darkly humorous that a bunch of strange people spent their time leaking information to the public to distract them from the real issues in the world.

    Overall, this was short, but fun and enjoyable. Good job!

    Pi
     
  3. The Teller

    The Teller King of Half-Truths

    Hello there, and thanks for stopping by!
    Weird, I thought you had at least commented on one of my works before, but maybe I'm misremembering?
    Actually, no. I took inspiration from, of all things, Banjo-Kazooie, an N64 game that loved acronyms as well (and the main antagonist's cat is named Piddles).
    Fair enough. I was worried people wouldn't like how I mixed the more serious things in with the more amusing things, rather than have all the amusing things grouped together first followed by the more serious things. Like I said, I wrote this all on a whim and Chik-Fil-A, so I wrote out a couple of things on the list, then thought about it, and then just kept adding things to it like a madman. Who's gonna stop me, the internet police?
    Yay for dark humor! And I...wasn't really going for slice-of-life, but I'll take what I can get! A lot of my works, both on here and elsewhere, tends to have a lot of that in them, so I guess it's my trademark now.
    TV Tropes calls this Bread and Circuses, which has its roots in ancient Roman literature, and yes, I just sent you to TV Tropes for another several hours. And for anyone who wants to use PIDDLE for their own fanfic, go right ahead!

    So thanks once again for the review, and I hope to see you in another one of my fic threads *HINTHINT*!
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2016

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