Phoops:
Thankies my dear, I can't wait for the finished review~! *snuggles* I'll go get those typos right now, they always slip in haha! x3
Kissmygrass: Thanks for the review, even if it was a little belated, my dear. ;3 It's a shame you enjoy the story, but each to their own mm?
First, the grammar corrections: Elizaveta strikes again! xD As does 'herself' - I find it impossible to catch such things, haha. Will be quashed. :3 On the use of 'drag', though, I'm afraid I have to disagree - the verb 'to drag' does not require or forbid there being a destination of the moved object. Aka you can drag things into other things, across them, off of them, or just drag them. The window was being dragged down until it was shut. How is it misused, then...?
On the amount of description, this story is quite heavy with it, I don't deny it. I'm sorry you found it too much. I found that little section with the 'smell' a little difficult to write, something I'm certain was evident in the fact I repeated 'smell' in the same sentence. xD I was using musk to describe the 'feel' of the smell, as a thicker, fuller scent- some words remained from an earlier draft there, I'll sort them. ;3 If her thought about the cat seems unrealistic to you, I'll be happy to change it, I didn't think its presence would be so jarring. It was such a little passing thought - I placed it there because I assumed that while Cats are quite unpredictable, they are also prone to the force of habit, and I figured Buyo'd be shut in with the kid. No opposable thumbs, can't open doors. You are right though, I probably shouldn't have assumed as much. I'll give that a lil spiff. x3
I would, however, like to focus on what you've said about my characterisation. Feel free to confront me at any point, I'm just running through your critique, and am quite happy to discuss any point through with you. x3
At no point in the piece have I confirmed that this experience
is a dream, for one.
She was told that it was, but her experiences were supposed to run contrary to that and mirror realism, as much as was possible - her thoughts and emotions, primarily. The world she is within is dreamlike, but she herself is fully conscious. Despite what she's been told, therefore, when someone attacks her with fire, she reacts as she normally would - fear, expectation of pain. It's instinctive, especially as it was an unexpected event - she was not told that she couldn't be harmed by fire or that there was going to be any, just that she was 'in a dream of sorts'.
Even if it were a 'real dream', per se, you would still be able tp experience the same thing. I've dreamt about almost drowning, before, being unable to reach air and struggling to hold my breath until I couldn't anymore. It was only because it was a dream that in taking that final forced breath I realised I could 'breathe underwater'. xD Dreams, eh? Before then, though, I was panicking, struggling to reach the surface. Therefore, not all dreams are able to remove your natural fears. You shouldn't generalise, m'dear.
Your expectation that she'd just believe what she has been told, as well, and be able to draw that knowledge to suppress such primal reactions, is a bit of a leap, as well.
Rationally, if you were perfectly conscious, no matter what weird place you may have found yourself in, you still don't instinctively accept what others say, do you? You have preconceptions that are very difficult to shake. Especially when it is someone you've only just met, and have no reason to trust, and who broke into your room. She felt like she couldn't /not/ trust him, as he's only a child, an innocent, trustworthy looking one, but... she's so disoriented. She doesn't protest when he leads you away, because indeed, why shouldn't she trust him? That doesn't mean she intrinsically believed and trusted him, though, and that is a crucial distinction. Following is a passive form of trust - but she doesn't actively trust him to believe everything he says, particularly as the evidence doesn't quite support it. Other factors, events, sways her response to him, and the levels of trust she holds, but none can make her trust him without doubt. I think I only have one person I could possibly say I trust to that extent, if that. And it would take that level of trust to completely override such basic instincts- if they even
could, because they are not conscious reactions, are they? It's the subconscious. As a rational, conscious human being, are these reactions unrealistic?
In what way, additionally, does it being a 'dream' mean that no harm can come to her, and that she shouldn't be afraid? I think even the word 'nightmare' sums that up nicely. xD I've had some pretty twisted ones in the past. Fear, as well, is not an emotion limited to reality. He never guaranteed that she would not come to harm, just told her she was in a dream 'of sorts'. So your leap is a little out there, at least
rationally. In her rational mind, would she make such a leap from 'dream' to nothing can touch me? She may feel a little bit more comfortable, safe, but when confronted with fire without any preparation, she would forget that in a moment because there is not a link here between the rational lack of fear and instinctive fear. It is very hard to control instinctive fear with rationality, even with preparation, and I don't see why she'd think to prepare herself for such a thing because it was just a 'dream'. It was a shocking experience, the last thing she expected, impossible to prepare for.
I've discussed rationality, now let's place this in a dream situation. ;3 I'm quite enjoying this.
I just see no reason why being in a dream should mean that she instinctively trusts him. If all of the evidence supported what he was saying, then perhaps she would believe him that it was a dream, but is all sense and reason lost in a dream? Some of it is, yes, but all?
Again, I would not draw from 'dream' that things such as fire could not harm me - I'd be less afraid, yes, if I knew I was just dreaming, but I would not be able to smother such an instinctive reaction if we are going by anything
realistic. Once more, there are instinctive fears that are not mutually exclusive to the 'real world', and uncontrollable by even a fragment of a rational mind.
Not all dreams are the same though, I understand that. They defy reality. Therefore, it is likely that you could have a dream where you wouldn't be afraid. But that wouldn't be realistic, would it? That'd just be because the dream is dictating the different factors. Dreams are like that. In real life, you would not be able to discard your natural fears in such a way. Indeed, dreams let you do whatever you like. Remember that, though. It doesn't constrain you to one interpretation of a dream state, and one type of dream with the same rules that we all experience. That means that you shouldn't generalise. Not all dreams are as unrealistic as others, it differs for everyone
each time. If in your dreams you're impervious to fire and know it, then good for you.
Back to the story. I've already pointed out that I never said that this was not a dream, and indeed, it's not. Therefore, she is fully conscious, and able to rationalise. Apply the above sections on rationality and voila, the reasons behind her actions. xD You wouldn't believe how
challenging I found the characterisation in this, I swear - I've given it a lot of thought, as I'm sure you can tell from the above. I tried to play out throughout the struggle between her intense confusion, struggling with whether to 'see the dream through', and her rational mind, which is certainly still present and working furiously to comprehend what it's been confronted with. I set myself quite the challenge - it took forever to figure out how to get Elizabeth to even follow Nathaniel.
Some reactions never change, though. ;3
Feral was indeed intended. x3 He isn't human. I may move it to a different point, though.
If you disagree with me at any point, m'dear, do speak up! Thank you again for the review, though, I'll go get those edits x3