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The end of darkness[PG-13]

R

rayquazair

Master owner
This story is PG-13 for violence and strong language.

Prolouge:the beggining
Long ago,there was a evil lord name Hiro-rukai.He ruled the land with one thing.fear.He threatened to get his way.But,one day,his unawakened twin,Miro-karukai,suddenly broke free of his stone imprisonment,and stopped Hiro-rukai.It was not easy,because he could not do it alone.He needed the symbol of power from each village.Once he had them,he confronted Hiro-rukai.
They had battled.Rumor says the battle lasted ten years,although it has not been proven true.when the battle ended,Miro had been victorious.But,due to the curse that was laid on Miro-karukai,the power symbols were lost.They scattered all over the world,hidden,for five thousand years.And as they lay there,in hiding,they are regaining power.......

Other info:

Main characters:Miro-kanukai(MY-ROW-KAWN-OOH-KAI)
Michael
Hiro-rukai(HY-ROW-RU-KAI)
????
????
????
????
 
R

RaZoR LeAf

Night Terror
That's not a prologue, it's a summary of the plot. A plot which is full of holes and doesn't explain half the stuff that's mentioned in it. Not only that it's horrible to read due to lack of basic grammar. Full stop? Hit the space bar! Notice all the helpful spaces when I start a new sentence? It's so it's easier to read.

And if you are going to write a Dramatis Personae at the start of the chapter, it needs to have a list of all the main characters, not just a few and the rest left as question marks.
 
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