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The Eon Siblings Book 1

T

Tyranotar

Guest
Hello everyone. It's been suggested that I post this here for more reviews than I've been getting on other sites, so here you go :)

Chapter One - The Separation

Serenity awoke with a start. She'd always been a light sleeper, but something tugging at the back of her mind told her this wasn't just any restless night. She sat up and cautiously craned her neck to look around. The field was quiet and desolate, except for the light snorings of her siblings and a light midnight breeze rustling through the grass. She wondered if her senses were failing her. Perhaps she picked up the movement of a small bug or something; it was likely in her dreary state. Still, her phenomenal senses HAD never failed her before. She pushed away the unsettling thoughts and went back to lay down, when she heard something rustling on the other side of the field.

"This isn't just my imagination," she muttered to herself. She jumped to the side when she saw one of her siblings move in their sleep out of the corner of her eye, and then went back to scanning the horizon.

She could tell that her restless mind had awoken her older brother, Shadow. As the oldest of the quintet, he seemed to be telepathically linked to his siblings. He yawned and rolled onto his stomach, and sat up. He licked his lips twice and then turned to face his sister.

"What is it?" he asked. Serenity could tell from his voice he was absolutely exhausted.

"Oh, nothing," she lied, although she knew he could tell it wasn't the truth. His "telepathy" was rumored to miss nothing that went on in his siblings' minds.

"No, what is it, really?"

"I thought I heard something. That's all."

"That's not it, is it? Serenity, you're an Espeon. Aren't you supposed to pick up everything that goes on with that tail of yours?" As he asked, her dual pronged tail shifted in the breeze.

"Supposedly. My senses must be failing me. I'm... I'm getting old, Shadow."

"Sister," he said, his golden markings gleaming in the starlight, "you're younger than I. We just made it to true adulthood last week. Something is troubling you. And if you sensed something, it must be for real."

Serenity couldn't hold back a blush, and she hoped he couldn't see in the darkness. Shadow nudged his sleeping siblings.

"Whaaaaaaat?" Inferno moaned, "darn Umbreons always too active at night." He rolled to his feet drowsily.

"And Flareons are too active during the day," Shadow retorted. "Wake Sparky up."

Inferno did as his brother told him and nudged the sleeping Jolteon, who, unlike Inferno, jumped up instantly.

"What is it? Is there trouble?" Serenity could tell that Static, which was his real name, was abnormally hyper that evening. She decided to let it go as he was the youngest. She could also tell that he didn't particularly like the pet name his brothers had dubbed him.

"Calm down, Sparky. It's probably nothing; we're just making sure," Shadow explained.

"Then why wake us all up? Why couldn't two of us check it out?" Inferno whined. He must really not like the dark, Serenity thought to herself. Shadow read her thoughts and nodded.

As if on cue, Oceana awoke and rose to her feet. The relatively young Vaporeon tended to be the peacekeeper in the group, quelling disputes but normally keeping to herself. She gave a small yawn and let out a deep breath.

"Why is everyone up?" she wondered aloud.

Nobody had time to answer her, because a dark shape was rapidly moving towards them through the tall grass. It emerged from the wall of plants headfirst, which caused the siblings to back up a step in unison.

Its small purple head was a telltale sign of what to follow. As it came into full few, its thin neck expanded into an incredibly wide hood, with false, but intimidating, markings that reminded Serenity of a large face. The rest of the giant snake was all tail, and it tapered at the end. The Arbok rose its head high into the air, and moonlight gleamed off its hood markings. The behemoth hissed and waited for the siblings to make the first move.

The staring contest lasted almost a minute, but eventually the snake lost its cool and lunged. The siblings split apart, Inferno and Oceana taking the snake's left, Serenity and Static taking its right, and Shadow took it head on.

The snake hissed and picked its target. Its large violet tail lashed out and struck Static without warning. It coiled around him and squeezed as hard as it could.

Inferno recklessly blasted out a Flamethrower towards his foe. The brightness illuminated the field and almost blinded the snake. The blaze was accompanied by Oceana's fearsome Water Gun, which snaked around the flames in a spiral. The fire and water struck the cobra's hood simultaneously and sent it reeling. Static found his opening and extended his spiny fur.

The snake screamed in agony and released Static from its coils. The Jolteon leaped free and retaliated with a bolt of electricity to the giant's head. Shadow was already on top of the snake, just below the hood. His golden markings shone bright white as he bit at its neck.

Serenity knew it was time to finish the fight. She channeled her mystical powers into her chakra, and released it in a single rainbow beam of energy. It struck Arbok's small head and the giant snake yelped. It knew it couldn't win, and retreated into the grass as quickly and silently as it had come.

That wasn't the end of their troubles. Serenity's tail was vibrating quickly and violently. Shadow looked up into the starry night sky and saw what she had picked up.

Three dark shapes soared through the skies. They encircled the open field and with each cycle headed closer to the ground. Serenity instantly recognized them as Salamence. The lead dragon roared and pulled into a sharp dive, the other two following close behind.

"Run!" Shadow yelled.

The siblings didn't have to be told twice. Instinctively, they scattered. The two rear dragons split apart and went off to chase Serenity's siblings through the grass, but the largest had his sights set on her. Serenity bounded and weaved through the grasses as fast as her legs could carry her. She jumped away from the wavy grass as the Salamence hissed and bursts of fire erupted from its mouth, incinerating the foliage behind her. She risked a look back to see that the dragon was almost on top of her. She yelped in surprise and ran faster.

As she faced forward again, she realized she had reached a great rocky plain. A hiss from behind told her she couldn't slow down or she would surely die. The Salamence bellowed and brought forth another blast of fire. Serenity jumped high into the air and came down hard on the ground a few feet away. She gasped as the ground beneath her feet crumbled, and as it melted away, she fell with it.

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Well what do you think so far?
 

HB5squared

I'm Back
First and foremost, Although this is a pokemon site, a little bit more description would be good. If I read this and didn't know what the eons were then I'd be lost as the only thing you described were the dual tails which made it seem like espeon had two tails not one that split and Umbreons glowing rings. Vaporeon and flareon almost nothing was described not even their color and Jolteon all that was described was his pointy fur, which makes me imagine a bunch of needles and a smily face in the middle. The salamence were described as three dark shapes. Imagine if you didn't say salamence. All that you left us with was: three dark shapes soared the sky. So they can fly and they're dark and they're shapes.... Arbok who wasn't even the main character is the best described, which doesn't look that good. Imagine if all the only characters authors described were the antagonists or bad guys, wouldn't be so fun.

I'm guessing the pokemon are after to eat each other. I hope in future chapters you incoorperate the eons eating wild pokemon as well because dogs aren't herbivores. This'll keep a sense of realism, which you have already started.

Other than that I really like it. This has good characters and you are a good writer, except for your description. I have no clue where you are going with this but keep writing! :)
 
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Xiang

Well-Known Member
Wow, nice. Description is plentiful enough for me, as well as some suspense and excitement in there. I could hear my heart pounding it my toes! Okay, my ears. Just something in there triggered that. I can't really tell what will happen or what the plot REALLY is yet, but awesomeness.

The names are nice, although Shadow for an Umbreon was kinda...expected. Serenity's a really good name.

*subscribes*

And I'll be truthful, the only reason I got caught up here was because I assumed Eon referred to the Lati@s pair, but I like Eeveelutions too, so no worries. *dodges flames*

~Ratiasu
 
T

Tyranotar

Guest
Thanks for the critiques. However, I'll describe Jolteon Flareon and Vaporeon better soon enough, this is the only chapter they appear in for a good long while.

As I've already written the second chapter, the Salamence are described a bit better there.

Anyway, thanks again for the critiquing. I'll post chapter 2 either later on today or tomorrow.
 

Saya

Member for 15 years
W00t! You joined Tyranotar! Yup, and like I said, people are already giving you some advice. Anyway, I've already read the chapter before and reviewed it. I really like the idea you've got going here, so I'll definately continue to read!

Keep up the great writing!

~Saya~
 
T

Tyranotar

Guest
Here's Chapter Two (there's not much description in this one either, though I think it's somewhat of an improvement from the first chapter. lemme know areas where I can improve)

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Chapter Two - The Cave of Crystal

Serenity landed on her side. The ground beneath her was solid and hard, and the pain radiated through her bones. As she rolled to her feet, she opened her eyes and looked around.

The cave around her was blinding bright at first, and when her eyes adjusted she realized the walls were bright blue. Upon further investigation she observed that the walls were either covered with crystal or made of it; with only the moonlight shining in from the hole she had made in the roof it was impossible to tell. She didn't have much time to ponder the thought, though, because the Salamence was investigating her disappearance above.

It cautiously moved its massive blue head into the hole, and sniffed the air. It must have picked up her scent, because it hissed and began furiously shaking its head back and forth in the hole. It pried itself out and began to vigorously dig with its clawed forefeet.

Serenity crouched as low as she could. She was downright terrified and exhausted by the pursuit. The dragon had made the hole substantially wider by now, and pieces of displaced crystal and rock rained like a shower on top of her.

The behemoth had stopped digging now, but just as Serenity began to sit up again, its massive head snaked its way into the hole. It had decent room to lash around by now, but the hole wasn't quite wide enough for the dragon to fit any further into the cave.

Serenity knew she had to do something fast. The only visible exit, besides the one the dragon was attempting to enter through, was across a vast lake of shining blue water she just now noticed. However, she was not a strong swimmer. Besides, she didn't want to end up a snack for whatever lurked beneath the waves.

A spout of flames erupted from the dragon's mouth and reminded Serenity of her current predicament. She mustered what energy she had left and unleashed a rainbow bolt of energy towards her attacker. The wave hit the Salamence square in the jaw. It roared and thrashed its way out, and began to dig again. Her tail began vibrating furiously again; quite obviously another threat was coming. And something told her it was something big.

The Salamence abruptly stopped digging. Serenity heard it beating its massive wings. Perhaps it's finally leaving, she wondered. Her hope was cut short when the dragon brought itself down hard on the roof of the cave. The ceiling, unable to withstand its great weight any longer, caved in, showering the now open pit with a barrage of large pieces of crystal.

The dragon landed on the slippery crystal ground directly in front of Serenity. She backed up several paces and crouched in a corner. Salamence took a huge step forward, blocking any chance Serenity had of escape. The dragon charged up for an enormous blast of fire. Serenity could see waves of superhot energy spiraling towards Salamence's open mouth. She closed her eyes and waited for the impact.

All of a sudden, she heard a crackling, powerful noise from her left, near the lake. She opened her eyes to find that a bright orange beam had connected with the dragon's right flank and had sent it reeling into the crystaline wall.

Serenity turned to see what had produced the beam. It rose high above the water, its blue scales shining in the moonlight. Its almost golden underbelly appeared to be made of ironlike plating, and its huge four-toothed jaws hung open, ready to unleash another devastating Hyper Beam.

The Salamence faced its attacker, hissing loudly. Then, without warning, it lashed its tail out at the Gyarados, slamming into the water snake's hide. The giant serpent hissed in fury and slid out onto the crystal ground. Serenity remained in her corner, too scared and full of awe to move. After all, she told herself, how often do you get to see two titans fighting?

The Salamence charged another flamethrower, and sent it careening towards the Gyarados's head. The giant serpent charged its own attack, and unleashed the Hydro Pump in a powerful beam of water.

The two beams collided halfway between the combatants, creating a huge pillar of steam that rose to the heavens. Both produced equal force, and for several long seconds they stood in perpetual harmony. At the same time, both warriors gave up, and charged at each other.

The Gyarados coiled around the dragon in a way that reminded Serenity of the Arbok. It's snakelike body first wrapped around Salamence's left foreleg, then it proceeded to bind the dragon's body just above the wings and just below the neck. The Gyrados's jaws then clamped down on the Salamence's neck. The dragon screamed in a mixture of pain and anger, and lashed out with its massive tail in hopes of knocking the serpent loose. It discovered it couldn't and so it craned its own massive neck and bit down on the tip of the Gyarados's tail.

The serpent yelped in pain and released the dragon from its bite. The Salamence found its opening and struck the Gyrados in the head with its tail. The attack dazed the serpent, and gave the dragon the time it needed to pry the water creature off of it with its right foreleg. It then grabbed the Gyarados around the middle with both its forelegs, and tossed the serpent away. The Gyarados hit the ground hard and was too weak to rise.

The dragon beat its massive wings, sending it into the air. It then came down next to the writhing serpent and bit down hard where its head met its neck. The Gyarados screamed in pain. The dragon flew up again, and careened towards its foe to crush its skull by landing on it.

It never got that chance. Another orange beam shot out from deep within the lake and struck the dragon hard in the chest. It flew backwards and slammed into the wall. The dragon slid down the crystals and came to rest at the base of the wall.

Serenity twisted her neck towards the lake to see a second Gyarados rise from it. Its scales were a slightly darker blue than the other Gyarados, and it slid onto land to see to its fellow Pokemon's wounds.

The Salamence's claw connected with the side of the new combatant's head and knocked it onto the cold ground. The two struggling serpents were surely doomed, as the Salamence roared in triumph and began to charge its dragonic breath to incinerate the two simultaneously.

Just then, the dragon reeled to the side as if it had just been struck. A creature materialized seemingly out of thin air in front of Serenity's own eyes. As its glowing silver invisibility shield melted away, an enormous snake made entirely of rocks appeared, its massive skull dug deep into the side of the dragon. As Serenity looked closer, the Onix was not actually made of rocks but truthfully raw crystal. The crystal Onix bellowed a battle cry and rose high above the dragon.

The Salamence showed no fear and let its flaming breath at the Onix instead. The flames engulfed its head and it screamed in pain. Serenity guessed that the flames had a strong affect on crystaline structures. If she didn't do something soon, her three unwilling protectors might be killed. She mustered what strength she had left and blasted the rainbow beam at the dragon.

At the very least, it disrupted the attack for the crystaline Onix to finish it off. The giant shot forth a beam of bluish-white ice that glazed over the snarling beast, encasing it in ice. The Onix bellowed triumphantly, and then reeled to face Serenity.

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T

Tyranotar

Guest
What no reviews? I'm disappointed :p This chapter is rated PG for one incidence of swearing.

Chapter Three - Into the Darkness

Shadow could not hear his siblings' thoughts over his own heartbeat as he fled. The behemoth behind him hissed and belched a cone of fire that he just narrowly avoided. Upon reaching the forest, he had more obstacles to overcome, such as fallen logs and creeping vines. But then again, so did the dragon. The trees blocked his pursuer's flight path and it was forced to land.

The dragon roared in frustration and with a quick blast immolated a wall of floral debris. It lumbered into the forest creating quite a commotion, purposely uprooting trees to expel its anger. Shadow knew this was not the Salamence's element, and because of its pale blue skin he could see it clearly from any vantage point. His midnight black fur was better suited to the dank jungle anyway, and he stood perfectly still where he was.

When the dragon regained focus on the hunt, it realized its prey had vanished. Its small golden eyes were not suited to staring through the dark forest. It gave a great hiss and stalked off.

Shadow made sure the beast was out of sight before shifting position. He crept through the woods, searching for a way out. He'd walked a solid fifteen minutes through foliage that all looked the same before he realized the Salamence had never actually left.

A stream of fire from behind him convinced him the dragon was still there. Unable to leap away quickly enough, the dragon's breath singed his hindquarters and his left flank. He collapsed to the ground, unable to move.

The dragon roared in triumph and closed in on his immobile foe. It didn't see the blur of white careening towards its head. From the corner of his eye, Shadow saw the white streak zoom past the giant's small head, leaving a large red gash across the right side of its face. The dragon snarled in pain as its gouged eye pumped out blood.

The blur skidded to an abrupt halt. Shadow observed that the creature was quadropedal like himself, but had sleek white fur, and was a heavier build. The creature had black claws and a strikingly dark face, with a blade-like horn jutting from its skull. Its red eyes glowed in the gleaming moonlight seeping through the canopy of the woods.

The Absol howled and attacked the dragon again, raking its claws across the blinded creature's neck. The Salamence gave up the hunt and retreated, presumably back to the open field. Shadow struggled to his feet-- a great challenge since almost his entire back half was charred. The two Pokemon stared at each other for a good long while. After a while, Shadow broke the uneasy silence.

"Thank you," he managed, "how can I ever repay you?"

"Funny you should ask," the Absol said. Its voice wasn't deep or mysterious in any way as Shadow presumed it would be. Rather, it reminded him of a veteran soldier. "I'm on the trail of a spy. It can't be allowed back to its master."

"Then I shall assist you if you wish," Shadow suggested. So he did, and after almost an hour of walking stealthily through the lush green underbrush, he spoke up again.

"Er, what exactly are we looking for?"

"A Banette that carries important information about us."

"Who's us?"

"We are-- it'll have to wait! I see the scoundrel!" Shadow followed his companion's gaze to the foot of a large oak tree. A small black humanoid Pokemon sat at the bottom of it, grinning broadly with its zipper mouth. It had blood red eyes as well, and they resembled Shadow's eerily. He didn't have much time to ponder, for his companion had already rushed forward, claws extended.

The ghost Pokemon cackled evily and floated through the trees. His burn still healing, Shadow trotted weakly past them.

"I'm chasing it back to you!" the Absol roared through the forest. Shadow took this as an opportunity to rest. Before he knew it, the ghost glided through the trees in front of him, looking over its shoulder and still cackling. When it spun around, it stopped laughing abruptly and attempted to spin around.

Shadow didn't give it the chance. His golden markings glowing vibrantly, he pounced as a cat would and landed on top of the spy. The ghost tried to make itself ethereal, but Shadow's markings only glowed brighter. His companion bounded through the brush at last, smirking.

"How long did you expect to evade me?" he asked the ghostly puppet.

"Fufufufufufu, wretched rebel scum, I shall never speak!" the being retorted. Shadow was surprised it showed such confidence in a potentially deadly situation. His thoughts were interrupted by one of his siblings-- he couldn't tell which-- screaming in their minds. He considered finding the source, but decided against it, resolving that his siblings were resourceful enough to survive on their own. Besides, he had the Banette to deal with.

"Oh, I think you will," the Absol snarled. Its blade horn glowed white, and several triangular bullets shot from it, slamming into the ghostly Pokemon's skull. Shadow almost flinched hearing its screams, but didn't physically do so.

"You think a little torture will open me up? You are sadly mistaken, my friend. In fact, I'm almost enjoying it. May I request more?"

"Consider it done," Shadow's companion replied. More bright triangular bullets shot from his horn, and became almost a stream rushing into the spy's mind. It screamed in both pain and delight. When the Absol finally stopped, dark purple blood oozed from the ghost's forehead, slowly but steadily. Shadow grimaced as he sensed the last trickle of life leave their captive.

"Damn!" the Absol yelled. "We could've uncovered the secrets of the organization itself!"

"Relax," Shadow told him, "at least whoever you're fighting didn't learn anything about you."

"I suppose you're right. Consider your debt repaid."

"I never did catch your name, friend."

"They call me Scar."

"Why?" Scar shifted his head to the side, and the wisps of white fur slipped from across his forehead, revealing a massive cut running across the length of his face. It had since healed, leaving a hideous scar.

"I see... I'm Shadow."

"You know, we could use your help in our quest for liberation. Our sages could also heal that wound of yours."

"Well, I..." he considered what he was about to do. On one hand, Scar had saved his life, and he didn't think "interrogating" a ghost released him from his debt much. On the other hand, his siblings could be in trouble. But then, he needed to let them look out for themselves once in a while.

"Alright," he finally concluded.

"Then step this way, Shadow." Scar's horn glowed brighter than ever, and with a twist of his head, it sliced through the very fabric of the dimension itself. A rift of purple and black light appeared in the area Scar had cut, as if the dimension itself were like a curtain. The Absol stepped through the gaping hole, and his body vanished behind the dark colored veil. Shadow took a deep breath and followed.

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Sorry about the DP but no one replied for two days, which is odd considering more than thirty people view the fanfic section almost all the time...
 
T

Tyranotar

Guest
I'm quite disappointed. Anyone planning on reviewing this? I hate posting more than twice in a row. As it's been six days, I'm on the verge of giving this up for lack of replies. Anyone interested in this anymore? At all?

Chapter Four - The Battle Plan

Shadow felt as if he were falling through a void. Though he breathed it in, he couldn't feel the rush of air on his midnight black fur, and it bothered him. Then, his thoughts were interrupted as the cold ground rushed up to meet him. Naturally, he landed on his stomach.

The Umbreon staggered to his feet and looked around. The first thing he noticed was the lack of light. No stars shone in the sky, as if it were an inky black blanket draped over the world itself. A small bonfire crackled brightly nearby, however, and after his pupils adjusted, Shadow observed the leaves on the conifers around him were gray. Their trunks were of a shadowy tint, and were as cracked and splintered as the barren ground beneath him.

"Incidentally, were you planning on standing there all day?" Scar questioned.

Day, Shadow thought to himself, what kind of place is this?

"Our healer is over there, by the campfire."

"Good to know," Shadow replied, attempting the sarcasm his siblings had mastered. He limped towards the orange blaze. As he drew nearer, he began to notice the surprising number of eyes watching him. Not with his own eyes, of course, as it was too dark to see anything, but he could just feel their prescence.

A being glided out of the shadows, its long green and white body clashing with the gloomy landscape. It was tall, and hovered just above the ground. A large red spike protruded from its chest on both sides, and Shadow felt as if its large violet eyes penetrated his very soul. The Gardevoir floated elegantly toward him, and as it looked him in the eye he almost looked away. Something about it was intimidating.

"May I present to you Madam Szora, our healer and commander in chief," Scar's voice radiated from behind Shadow, "and this, my lady, is Shadow. He assisted me in the capture of the spy."

"Charmed," she said, less than enthusiastically, but had the courtesy to bow.

"As am I," Shadow managed nervously.

"Let us spare these pleasantries, for the time being," she said quietly. Shadow noted her voice was calm and commanding, but serene at the same time. "You've been burned."

"Yes, and--" he stopped abruptly as the Gardevoir's delicate green hands began to glow with light blue energy. He realized the same was happening to his hindquarters, and the burn felt as if ice had glazed over it. In seconds it was gone, and Shadow knew his health had been restored completely. His hind legs felt sturdy, and he bowed.

"Thank you," he said as he stood up again.

"Lieutenant," Szora said, ignoring him, "how goes the war?"

"We've finally penetrated their preliminary wall," Scar boomed, "and the spy has been dealt with."

"Good. We're making progress, then."

"M'lady!" a voice from behind yelled. Shadow turned to see a purple rattlesnake slithering hastily toward them. The Ekans skidded to a halt next to Shadow and bowed low to the ground.

"What is it now?" Szora moaned, with a hint of emotion in her voice for the first time.

"A messenger has arrived!"

"Bring him to me then!"

"Very well, ma'am!" the snake slithered off quickly, and in an instant returned with a golden floating husk. It had a silverish underbelly, and a crescent moon halo hovering above its head. "Presenting Mr., er, what did you say your name was again?"

"Zcladmekclo," the Shedinja droned.

"Mr. Zlamekkeko!"

"Zcladmekclo," it said again.

"Oh, sorry. Mr. Zukamako!"

"Just forget it, warrior," Szora sighed and waved him off. The snake slithered back into the shadows. "Now, what is your message, Mr. Zcladmekclo?"

"I bring a message from the High One. He says this war is as good as over. He says after hearing the message you will surrender your forces. He says that we have your sister."

At those words, Shadow could feel Szora's heart clench and contract, though her face showed nothing.

"You can let your master know we won't give in to him, no matter the cost. You can also tell him that his need for hostages is juvenile, and we shall quickly recover her." she managed at last.

"Will that be all, or is there more?"

"That will be all. Scar, get this thing out of my sight."

"With pleasure," the Absol said smugly, "come with me, messenger."

The two Pokemon left, leaving Shadow alone with Szora. After a long silence, Shadow finally spoke.

"You're upset."

"Characteristic of an Umbreon to detect hidden emotions, isn't it?"

"I suppose... What do you want us to do?"

"Pardon?"

"What do you wish of your army?"

"Well, there is an assignment I've been meaning to give to someone. It's a one-Pokemon operation, and highly dangerous. I need someone with camoflauge to sneak behind enemy lines and take out the head of our foes directly. Now, though, I'm adding to it. It's now, in part, a rescue operation."

"What do you want me to do?"

Szora waved her hand, creating a map of the surrounding territory. It was three dimensional, and in blue. A large red shape expanded from the upper right corner, and covered nearly the entire map. With another wave of her hand, a purple beam snaked slowly across it, starting from a large blue 'X', presumably their present location.

"I need you to head northeast from here, and under cover. Entering enemy territory-- that's the red area on the map-- you'll travel past the Morbid Mountain Range and through the Swamp of Sorrows. Stealthily, you'll make your way to the upper right corner of the map, and head northeast a few miles farther, where you'll find a great chasm. It is there you will find the leader of the opposing army. His name is Grim'la, and he aims to kill us all."

At the mention of his old rival's name, Shadow's mouth fell open.

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My apologies, I'm terrible at coming up with names... Nothing much happens in the above chapter, but then I haven't gotten any responses from the last two, so it should give you plenty to comment on.
 

Kiyohime

Well-Known Member
Well, I'm reading this, so don't worry. Let me catch up, then I'll post a longer review. But I do like this. ^^ I especially love that one part where the Absol's horn glows and slices a rift....sexy image. I also grinned when his voice was mentioned, as the deep, mysterious voice thing is generally used a lot for Absols and so on. XD So it was a nice detail.
 
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