1. We have moved to a new forum system. All your posts and data should have transferred over. Welcome, to the new Serebii Forums. Details here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders
    Dismiss Notice

The Fanfic Wars

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Saffire Persian, Mar 4, 2008.

  1. Saffire Persian

    Saffire Persian Now you see me...

    My dear readers, this work is what's called a Parody. What is a parody? you ask as you cock your head to the side and wonder.

    Well, allow me (and the dictionary) to explain.

    Parody (Noun):

    1. A parody is a work that imitates another work in order to ridicule, ironically comment on, or poke some affectionate fun at the work itself, the subject of the work, the author or fictional voice of the parody, or another subject.

    You understand? Yes? No? Good. Then I must move on to other matters, for time is short.

    Regrettably, I must first begin with the standard disclaimers and warnings, ‘else I am liable to Get Sued. And not in a good way.

    Firstly, I am obligated to warn you that this hereby termed fanfic will contain several things which May Not Appeal To You. This work includes a glamorous conglomeration of things which may disturb and otherwise appall those of a more...discerning readership. This includes writing that is (not) taken seriously (enough), Mary-Sues, Gary-Stus, overage and underage trainers, legendary pokémon, language, oblique references, inside jokes, mockery, foreshadowing, and illogical happenings that break canon like canonballs break bodies. Nothing is sacred here, even you. Thus, I shall bestow upon this story a rating of PG unless otherwise noted.

    Secondly, The Author does not own pokémon, or any fandom/character/person somehow copyrighted herein.

    Thirdly, any similarities to persons, creative works, etc. existent or non-existent is entirely confidential – so don’t ask me, ‘cause I can’t tell you. My lips are sealed.

    And lastly, treat this parody as you would any other parody.

    Got it memorized?

    Then begin, dear reader. The Fourth Wall is broken. The world is yours. Step carefully.

    The Fanfic Wars:

    ‘Cause we all know that Fanfiction is Serious Business

    Chapter 1: The FF4E1 Alliance


    ~++//**&$=!DECLAIREASHUN ØF WARRRZZZZZZ!!!!!111!=$&**//++~

    This IS a true DECLAireashun of war!!!!1

    Its sirius*.

    We wont take it anymore

    this is teh last straw! we MEAN it tw0!!!

    We r tired of ur flamez u say u r helping us but u r not Ur ony jealous becuz we right better then u!!! If u don’t leik our workz then dotn READ THEM!! But this is the last final only remaining very last ultimate WARning (U GIT IT:? HAHAHAHABWA) If, u, du, nut, apologizee, too, us, imedatiately, we, will, take, action1 And crush u two peaces b4 u can say were bad and wrong! We have strong pokes mans on our side, so beware!

    we will be nice n mercyful and give u too 4 oh clock in for all of u @%%&*é$ to say ur sorry.



    ANOYMOUSESES OF THE FF4E1 ;032; ;003; ;136;

    pss our stories r bett3r then urs

    pssss if u dun t algae its gonna be war & well keel u, and ull dye if ur killed.

    / \

    To say Psy Umber the Alakazam was disturbed at the contents of this particular PM would be a very profound understatement. To say he would be morbidly amused would be closer to the particular emotion he was feeling, but not quite. If one were to convey his particular feelings of disgust, amusement, shock, and horror in words, they would have to search a particularly verbose thesaurus in order to find the correct one to accurately represent it.

    And believe me, such a thesaurus doesn’t exist—if it had, it would have been burned a long time ago. Because there was no single word to adequately describe his current feelings, half-of the Alakazam's mind was hell-bent on making a word up, while the other half was insisting he just file it under a word in his own personally-created mental lexicon, under the entry “Absolutely Gibacoil”. Nevertheless, our protagonist resisted such an urge and moved on to less random things.

    Now, Psy Umber had hoped that today would be particularly free of this sort of mindless drabble that continuously fluttered into his inbox on an hourly basis. Most of the trash disguised as serious and important business that Psy received he deleted immediately, as it was the kind of unrecyclable trash that a Mary-Sue’s innards are made of, but an ever-so-tiny portion of it he kept, prizing that portion like he treasured certain pages from grocery store tabloids. Anything that was random and strange enough to make even his brain stop working for a few seconds deserved to have itself plastered onto his bedroom wall for fond remembrance.

    This particular PM deserved a whole wall to itself. It made his gladf;ksr Chronicles look like the ramblings of a sane man.

    When the PM first arrived in his inbox at exactly 2:15 a.m., it had taken the Alakazam exactly thirty-three point four seconds to read it, and another thirty seconds to decipher what it meant. Ten minutes had now passed from that point, and now it was his obligation to take action. He quickly sent a telepathic wake-up call every author on the fanfiction forum's castle premises that was a member of the esteemed Fanfiiction Writers' Guild. He hoped his call was strong and shocking enough to convey the absolute urgency of the matter.

    After all, this was a declaration of war... even if it was just about as intimidating as a slug yelling threats and obscenities at a fat woman armed with a saltshaker. Still, even a lowly slug deserved to have his threats taken seriously. And Psy Umber would gladly oblige.

    Everyone to the Café!
    he ordered in a booming, ominous voice as the many minds he was now connected to began to metaphorically turn on like a string of Christmas lights wrapped around a tree. Their inner voices echoed in his head, bouncing around like pinballs, as each user awoke from sleep one by one.

    What the hell?! came a voice. You again? Get out of my head, you damn pansy!

    This had better be important.

    You’re such an annoying prick, you know that, Psy? This is--

    --like the third time this week?

    Fourth, actually.

    What’s up this time?

    What time
    is it, anyway? Two?! You've got to be kidding me.


    Seriously, what did you wake us up for?

    Can I go back to sleep now?

    This dream sucks...

    Hahaha. Geer.

    I wish I was a Dark-type right about –

    It was then Psy chose to finish his message. We have received a declaration of war.



    The Authors’ Café was in chaos.

    Not that there was anything wrong with that. Why should there be? Situations such as the one presently occuring in the fanfiction lounge often brought out the best—and worst—in people. It separated the heroes from the anti-heroes, the antagonists from the chaotic neutrals, and the idiots from the imbeciles.

    It also served to get the plot’s ass moving at high speed.

    “All right, mate, spit it out!” a female Typhlosion demanded, fire around her neck blazing a fierce red-orange. “You said “declaration of war” didn’t you? Well? Where's this declaration?”

    Psy grunted and cleared his throat in a dramatic manner. The chatter died down to a quiet murmur. Their attention was on him now. He held a print-out of the PM in one of his paws. “At exactly 2:15 a.m.,” he began in an even, stoic voice as he simultaneously levitated a pair of Bronzong-colored spectacles into his free paw, slipping them on for effect, “I received the following PM from a group of anonymous users representing the FF4E1…”

    A number of individuals rolled their eyes. And for good reason. You see, dear readers, though the notorious so-called vigilante group preferred to be known as the “Fan Fiction For Everyone” alliance, most of the prominent members of the Fanfiction Writers' Guild—and by prominent, I refer the members who could successfully distinguish and use Lay/Lie properly--preferred to call them the BFF. That is, the Bad Fan Ficcers. This, of course, was for their own secret amusement, as the FF4E1 had yet to realize that by BFF, the Guild did not mean “Best Friends Forever".

    Psy Umber continued to read the message he had received to the now silent crowd. He quickly finished, and no one uttered a single syllable for some time, every author shooting looks at one another from across the oak table that lay between them. Psy began to wonder if he should read it again (just to get he point across, of course) for good measure when a female voice piped up from the crowd.

    “Umm, Psy…” said the a Plusle in a slow, hesitant fashion, “are you sure that that was… well… English?”

    “Yeah.” The Typlosion nodded rapidly in agreement as she, too, broke the silence. “I mean, seriously, W-T-F, mate.”

    “I read it exactly how it was scribed,” the Alakazam replied, taking off his spectacles as they were no longer needed. “Down to the last homonym misuse.”

    “You call it misuse,” the Typhlosion grumbled, “I call it a freakin’--“

    “No need to get rowdy,” cut in an old, fire-breathing tortoise that went by the name of Pine. “The poor dears. Quite a misguided bunch. If only people weren’t so mean to them. I don’t think they would act this way if—”

    “Yeah, yeah,” a Sneasel who was missing one eye hissed, unconvinced. “Whatever. I say we just wait ‘til they come here with their freakin’ little “army”, and we pound ‘em into the ground like a Steelix bodyslamming the heck outta a Caterpie.

    A few people murmured in hushed agreement. Some smiled. Morbidly.

    “Are they even a threat?” said Matsuri, the Aipom dangling tail-first from the Café's chandelier. “I’ve gotten and seen my share of those sorts of PMs. They could just be trying to get attention.”

    “If the FF4E1 somehow did manage to rally enough supporters for this so-called rebellion of sorts…” the Alakazam took a deep breath, brain whirring.They actually hadn't made any disturbances in the fanfiction forum for some time. Months now that he thought of it... “--then, yes, I would consider them a threat. Statistically, the number of users they consort with that would likely aid their cause would far outnumber the ones we could rally to our own by a phenomenal percentage.”

    “Sturgeon’s law,” said the forum’s resident shapeshifter, Kergen, who was currently in her favored shiny Slugma form.

    Psy nodded. “Exactly.” He then turned his fox-like head to face the Typhlosion. “Well, Tai, you’re an expert on rebellions. You documented the last one in Johto to its end quite well. What do you think?”

    Tai looked at him, rolled her eyes, and sighed. “I don’t analyze psychopaths and their rebellions, mate, I just write about ‘em after the fact, but...” She paused for a moment, tapping her paws on the table, gathering her thoughts. “Well, I’ve met and interviewed a bunch of pokémon in the rebellions and know a fair bit of what happened and how they think—or in some cases, don't-- right? But see, they’re still unpredictable buggers. One minute you’re talkin’ with the blokes peacefully, and the next you’re watching them trying to recreate the next region war by blowin’ up a radio tower. See where I’m goin’? You can’t expect me to predict what the badficcers are going to do next. I mean, how long’s a piece of string, mate?”

    Pine shuffled her feet. “Why don't we just apologize? Do what they ask?”

    “We have nothing to apologize for,” an Arcanine snarled, murmurs of agreement rippling through the crowd. “They’re all just a bunch of immature ten-year-olds—”

    “And we’re not,” the Torkoal cut in, meeting the Arcanine’s eyes with her steady gaze.

    “So?” the canine snorted, tiny embers jetting through the air before dying. “I’m not apologizing to a bunch of brats.”

    A Machamp grinned widely. “I conquer!”

    Over in the far left corner, a Mr. Mime was wearing a sly smirk. “I don’t think we have a thing to worry about,” said Pantomime, making strange, robotic gestures with her white-gloved hands. She was an expert at breaking clichés. Had been since her birth.

    “I conquer!”

    A few pairs of eyes narrowed, shooting identical looks at the Machamp. A few pokémon made shushing noises.

    “After all, they’re all talk,” the Mr. Mime continued, gaining momentum as many of authors rushed to agree with her views. Pantomime was in her element. “The little brats are all about telling and not about showing. If they want us to apologize that badly, they had better show us they mean it.”

    “I conquer!”

    “Then you won’t object to leading our forces into battle if they insist on making good on their word, then?” Kergen said sharply, cutting the Machamp off before he could utter another 'conquer'. Her silver head turned as she made contact with the Machamp's eyes. "After all, you seem so eager to express to us your ability to win.”

    The Machamp shrugged his shoulders, looking a little put-off despite his apparent nonchalance. “Uh.. Of course.”

    After all, it wouldn’t happen. What did he need to be afraid of?

    The majority of the authors present agreed. But they were about to be proven very, very wrong.


    Exactly 150,034 collective words away, an army was marching under the bright light of the full moon. Hundreds strong, they moved through the veritable jungle of story threads towards their final destination, a single goal in mind. They were united. They were One. They were the Neo FF4E1, and they were ready for war.

    The army was led by a deceptively small human girl with pink hair and fierce, two-toned eyes that did more than just change color. Her smile was like that of a predatory feline. She was smug, confident, perfect. She was about to prove why no one should mess with a Hybrid-Sue. Followed by her army of wannabe doppelgangers, she was a master of manipulating canon. Nothing was sacred. She would tear the world of fanfiction apart with her bare hands, and no one was going to stop her. In her world, no one could. And this was her world. She was irresistible. She would be their God. The naysayers would search for her flaws and imperfections, but they would find none. They would bow to her—love her—like legions of others had done before them.

    The authors up in that castle would curse the day they had mocked her story all those years ago. Oh yes, they would rue it. She had only been ten then—an innocent girl with innocent dreams. Now she was thirteen, and ready to rule the world.
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2008
  2. Psychic

    Psychic Really and truly

    Wut? Another SPPf parody?! It's like you never saw it coming!

    Haha, good stuff. Unfortunately I don't have the time or mental capacity to give anything close to review (not to mention that this is hardly the sort of fic that needs one) so here's my take.

    It is lulz.

    I feel like I haven't caught all the references, but those I did were just...great. I hope that the majority understands it all too, though. Nice job with the characters; lovely assortment of loonies - I mean forum-goers who mesh in a way that's just setting itself up for Great Stuff. The PM was just...great; nothing like 1337-speech in the morning, right? (It was well-written at any rate, and so perfectly absurd.) Not like it matters, anyway; when would a bunch of silly kids ever bother to assemble into an army, after all? No worries, mates! Hehe, good show, good show! I really look forward to seeing this army in full force; with a gal like that at their head, after all, it can only shape out to be one awesome ride! I really am interested to see how they intend to battle, too.

    I really like the way this is told right now, too; taking itself more seriously than it should and setting itself up for epicness!!!11!1oneone1!11 For some reason I also felt really impressed by the last bit told from the Sue's point of view; I am really excited to meet her of all people. Yes, this looks like it shall be epic, all right!

    ...Ten bucks says Psy gets tied to a chair and gets pelted with cheese (silly Alakazam probably does an awful job anyway). Haha, Jubncoil.

    Looking forward to this. ^^

    PS: Did I already mention that I'm sorry for the crummy "review"?
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2008
  3. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    ... well, how DOES one review just a thing anyway? After all, it IS a parody, and a frightfully funny one at that. Hightlight is probably the entire PM - highly amusing. Not to mention this line:
    I'm afraid that as I don't know this place as well as Psychic I wouldn't have caught all of the references either, but those that I did amused me greatly. Pity that I can't question you on them due to this:
    ...but what I found was funny, and a heck of a lot of it was funny. But just one question - was the last sentence in that last quote a deliberate reference to PDL's new fic? If so, nice one - if not, well, still works. :)

    Looking forward to seeing how this war will pan out as well. Poor Serebii Forums - it's about to get worse - and probably more laggy as well - that is if it can get any more laggy...

    Oh, one thing:
    Is that meant to be an ellipse or a full stop?

    Bring on the next chapter!
  4. Sike Saner

    Sike Saner Peace to the Mountain

    The forums need this. Need. It. :D

    This amuses me so frelling much... Loved the "DECLAireashun of war", complete with awesomely bad spelling and random "pokes mans" smilies. XD

    Now, I know who many of the Guild members's actual-person counterparts are, but a couple of them of them remain a mystery to me. XD; It'll be interesting to try and figure out who some of those I haven't identified are. Then again, do all of the Guild members represent actual forumgoers? o.o

    Anyway, here are my favorite excerpts:

    Officially the new best laugh ever. XD

    ...Algae?! XD I also love how they apparently felt it was necessary to mention that you die if someone kills you. XP

    That little parody of The af;lkjglk;uer Chronicles earns you additional awesome points, especially since you made sure to keep the spam-word in the title lowercase and stuck a nice, lovely semicolon in there. XP

    And another few points for the geer reference. XP

    ...Those sound kind of cool. o.o I think I want a pair of those. Either that or Bronzong-shaped spectacles. Those'd be really weird. XP

    One of the best gags in the chapter, if you ask me, along with the "conquer/concur" gag later on. XD

    And you get more awesome points for the TPR reference. ^^

    And there's that aforementioned "conquer/concur" gag. Ah, that brings back memories... XD

    You kick serious butt for making this and posting it. :D I can't wait to read more.

    If that were to happen, then Girl would grab the cheese and eat it, and it would taste good. :3
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2008
  5. Bay


    Okay, even though I read this already and had my say on it, I've actually thinking about this fic for a bit. Don't worry, I still stand by what I commented, but let's say I dug deeper into my thoughts. XD

    Now, the use of chat speak in parodies is not the first time being used. One other fic called "Breaking the Fourth Wall" by Divinity_123 did that, which is a comedy fic that in a way also parodies Serebii. However, what's the difference between this fic and his is how his the tone is cut clear that it's comedy. On the other hand, the tone of this fic, like Psychic said, is more of drama and epic. However, there is a sprinkle of comedy that I thought you did fine. I don't think I can pull off a comedy story with a serious tone. XD I want to say about that PM beginning though that I don't remember anyone complaining a review like that here though it sounded familiar...^^;

    I'll admit, I'm not the biggest fan of Serebii fic parodies. Probably it's because of how I read a couple of them already and how I heard bad rap about this forum. On the other hand, what I love about this is it's a fresh new kind of parody. While a few Serebii parody fics go towards more how the members are not the smartest people in the world and of a few trouble events on the forum overall, you're going more towards the troubles of the fanfiction forum and I say you did it great. Like I said before, I know a few references (man, that's what I get for being a member two years XD) and that I love the ending of this chapter. That Hybrid Sue is really something. XD

    Well, it seems from the introduction and the narration that this story will be dealing with A LOT of stuff, which I look forward too. :D Again, great job and can't wait for the next chapter. ^^

    PS- Dang, two war theme stories now? Don't worry, wars are fun to write about. XD
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2008
  6. Gardevoir Girl

    Gardevoir Girl is NOT a girl

    I normally avoid parodies, but I have complete faith in your writing style. And...

    I was right!

    I actually enjoyed this, quite a lot in fact. Especially this part:

    Really gets the point across. I also noticed this:

    To me, this part sounds like it's directed at Australians. True blue ocker, mate!


  7. Matt Silver

    Matt Silver Rest My Chemistry

    What's there left to say?

    Good on you Saffire Persian. I liked it (Like G. Girl above me, I don't read many parody fics), and I the way the story is told is awesome. My only problem was translating the noob text:

    "We are tired of your flames. You say you are helping us but you are not, you're only purple monkey dishwasher. HAHAHAHABWA. If comma you comma don't comma apologies comma we comma will comma take comma action. And also, I will use my ultimate team of Legendary Pokemon - so beware!"

    How did I do translating it?

    All stupidness aside, keep it up Saffire Persian!
  8. Act

    Act Let's Go Rangers!

    As I told you in LJ: Pure win.

    And now I will shamelessly up your postcount. Whoo!
  9. fishyfool

    fishyfool And a nice chianti

    ;486; : Poor Haychtoo...I knew ye well.

    ;378; : I'M NOT DEAD YET!

    ;486; : Well, for a parody, this thing hit the spot just perfectly. I wonder how many PMs Psy gets like that daily...but anyways, since you're famed as a ficcer, I expected quality, and got it. Keep up the comedy.
  10. The Doctor

    The Doctor Absolute Beginner

    I think my eyeballs started to vibrate by the third line; the bad grammar, the arrogance, the stupidity...IT BURNS!!!

    That you were able to make me actually hate these guys with a vengeance and want to trap them in a torture device built by the Spanish Inquisition is a testament to your writing abilities. I'm sure many will agree with me on this one, though the details on the punishment may vary.

    Agreeing with Sike here, this is one of the best gags in the chapter.

    Yeah, sorry if this is a bad review, but to be honest, this is pretty hard to fault...OK, it's nigh-impossible to fault. I don't really get all the references - I've only been here two years! - but I know this is going to be fantastic work. Can't wait for the next chapter.
  11. Saffire Persian

    Saffire Persian Now you see me...

    Psychic:: Wut? Another SPPf parody?! It's like you never saw it coming!

    Haha, good stuff. Unfortunately I don't have the time or mental capacity to give anything close to review (not to mention that this is hardly the sort of fic that needs one) so here's my take.

    Yeah, some of the references might be hard to catch, but I hope people will at least be able to get a good lot of them. And yes, Miss Sue is fun. Nothing like somebody with a God-complex to keep things interesting.

    Yeah. There are probably going to be a lot of references a lot of people probably won't get, but for those that do, hopefully they'll like it, and for those that don't... hopefully they'll get the other jokes. xD And PDL fic reference? Can't tell you, my lips are sealed.



  12. Ledian_X

    Ledian_X Don Ledianni

    Hmm. There's a desturbing lack of Ledians in this story. *scratches chin* Unless I come in and save peoples' butts. Just kidding. Add me or not, it's okay. I like Dan's story, too. Maybe you can include Joe as the big evil behind everything. Anyway, the story's looking pretty good. It sounds like you have a great prologue so far. can't wait to see what else ya got.


    Edit: Please note that the above's not to be taken totally seriously. It was just joking around.
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2008
  13. Normalize

    Normalize Well-Known Member

    In fasion of the FF4E1... D1s f1k ws de b5t d1ng eva5! Sorry if I'm not good at 1337 talk. The FEF werwe so funny! They make me laugh. The ausie thing was funny thing too.
    wow GG, dont even know what an ocker is but it made me think about your inner side... *shudders* well enough of my exuse of a review, cool fic.
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2008
  14. SnoringFrog

    SnoringFrog I kill my characters

    Haha. I missed too many of those references ((and the conquer/concur thing I entirely missed until Sike pointed it out, lol)), but I still loved it. Haven't been around for a while, so that probably didn't help me in getting parts of this, but I know enough to love this. Not what I was thinking I was going to read when I saw your name, but it was fun to come back to. I'm gonna love this...
  15. Saffire Persian

    Saffire Persian Now you see me...

    Ah, Dan did a parody, too, didn't he? The Night Serebii went Insane, or something? XD It's been so long I had forgotten about that.

    Im nu gud at l33t SP3@K e1t34. Prsnlly, m3t1|\||3S 1ts @ w@st3 øf t1m3.

    Thanks ofr your review, though. The FF4E1 would like to tell you that they're not funny, they're serious!!!!!1

    Na, not my usual stuff, either. xD I don't really do the whacky kind of humor in this much, and I'm more about serious stories, but I think this is my chance to kick back and enjoy not taking a fic too seriously for once.
  16. Pink Parka Girl

    Pink Parka Girl Solana! ^^

    Oh my god. This just utterly tickles me. XD The Fanfic forum was in desperate need of something to liven up the proceedings and remind us it's not as serious of business as we can often get caught up into thinking (I readily admit, I can get caught in that trap too often, lol), and this looks like it'll do the trick quite nicely. That PM in the beginning was as absolute scream, and I really loved the engaging sense of wordplay and the in-jokes (the ones I got, at least!) revolving around this crazy cast of loonies. ^_^ I also really like how at the same time it seems to have a genuine epic/serious streak behind it, just waiting to be twisted and subverted...oh, Hybrid-Sue, what tricks have you up your sleeve?

    Gee, I wonder who that Plusle is. XD

    I am curious though...if the Arcanine isn't meant to represent a specific Author's Cafe regular, what is her role in the story? I'm interested in her possible dynamics...or...are your lips sealed? ^_^;
  17. Saffire Persian

    Saffire Persian Now you see me...

    She doesn't have much up her sleeve, but she has a lot in her head. The Arcanine's role? She's not quite as major as some of the characters here--or as major as some of the others that will be introduced, but she does have a role, not huge, but yeah. You'll see what it is as the story goes on, I think.

    And the Plusle? Her name is Kitty, if that helps you any.
  18. Pink Parka Girl

    Pink Parka Girl Solana! ^^

    Wow, I was way off. ^^' I honestly thought it was me (which is why I responded to her presence the way I did, lol), since I go around the Author's Cafe a lot and have had various Plusle pictures for my avatar about 95% of the time, but I'm pretty sure I know who she's actually intended to represent now. Thanks for clearing it up, even if I feel really embarrassed now. Teaches me not to jump to conclusions! ^^'
  19. Saffire Persian

    Saffire Persian Now you see me...

    Oh, that's perfectly all right. The person she is based off of likes Plusle, too. Cute little rabbit things.

    Most of the characters in the story are, yes. The Arcanine so far is the only one mentioned who's not. (Besides the Hybrid-Sue, that is.)

Share This Page