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The Flamestar Chronicles

S

Shrike Flamestar

Video Game Addict
Latest Update: 2/3/09- Chapter 29 and announcement of rewrite.

The Flamestar Chronicles​


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Introduction
Well, there comes a time in every long running fic's life when the author begins to look back at what they have done and realize that, well, it all sucked. That point has come for TFC, especially with my newer story running alongside it now too, which has shown me how the various style artifacts I carry on to this day just simply suck. Basically, TFC is just plain old, back from when I had just crossed the line from being a terrible author who knew nothing to a competent one that still had a long ways to go. In all these years I've improved quite a lot, yet at the same time, TFC hung behind because I simply didin't allow myself enough room to change it on the fly.

So with that said, I am announcing the closure of this version of TFC, the final chapter being the final one for part 4 so that that story arc is wrapped up. Everyone on the update list will be notified when I open the rewrite, and I may or may not put a link to it in this thread as well. If all else fails, just use the link that'll be in my signature.

It's been a long time and I've learned a lot, both about myself as a writer and how to work a story such as this. Now I feel like I can truly do my vision justice, so I must say farewell for now and hope that everyone who has enjoyed my not-so-little story join me as it's reset all the way back to the beginning.


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Summary
In all my dreams I never thought my life would turn out like this. I’ve always wanted to be a Pokémon trainer, to get a Pokémon of my own and travel the world, taking part in Pokémon battles, obtaining badges; it was the life I yearned for. Attending The Pokémon Academy only reinforced my desire to journey and tirelessly I was forced to wait out my years.

And then they came; Zelos and Ramirez. They threatened the life of one of the school’s Pokémon, and in doing so unleashed my anger. I saved the Pokémon, but developed a forbidden bond that sent me on a premature journey of my own and set me upon a path of trials whose end or purpose I could not see.

Now the mysteries are beginning to unravel. The wheels of CORE and the Crimson Dawn, two separate yet equally sinister organizations, have begun to turn. One a corrupt organization of former genetic scientists that have been taken over by the enigmatic Lord Fira, the other a fanatical cult striving for a new world through the annihilation of all Pokémon life on Earth. Slowly their forces and armies begin to emerge from this world’s underground, seeking that which as yet remains a mystery.

These are my stories; the chronicles of my life as a trainer. My name is Shrike Flamestar, and these are The Flamestar Chronicles.


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Chapter Links and Ratings
Average Rating: PG-14 (frequent swearing, violence, gore, and other stuff like that)
Highest Possible Rating: R (very intense violence and gore in certain scenes)

Prologue (In this post, below)

Part 1: Turning Point

Part 2: Evil's CORE

Part 3: Crimson Light

Part 4: Distant Memories


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PM Update List
Everyone listed here will receive updates via PMs whenever I add a new chapter. If you would like to be added to this list, either PM me or leave a post (preferably a review as well :D) saying so. Same goes for being removed from it.

  • Kyuubii
  • The Pokemon Master
  • Venastois
  • Firemaster90
  • Sike Saner
  • Mawile XD
  • Hahahabvc87
  • Leon Phelps
  • ViNe WhIp
  • Ace13
  • Pikki Zuka
  • Xalmar
  • Hanako Tabris
  • silverdragoon X
  • Darkrai_Lover
  • SamuraiDragon1


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Extras
TFC Cast Poster Colored, drawn by Pikki Zuka

Character Bios (Work in Progress)

The original version of chapter 1, which has since been rewritten and reposted.


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Prologue

Beams of light filtered down through slits in the domed ceiling overhead, all light seeming to focus on the center of the large room. The room’s floor appeared to be a circular slab of stone suspended over nothingness, the edge of the floor not quite meeting the walls and leaving a gap that an observer could peer downwards into, the ground shrouded in darkness several miles below. Suddenly, sixteen beams of pink light shot up out of the darkness below, impacting against raised circles on the flat circular ceiling that ringed around where the ceiling rose up into its dome. Out of five of the beams of light walked three humans and two Pokémon, stepping forward onto the floor that hung suspended over nothingness.

“What is this? There’s nothing here...” One of the humans said, looking around as if they had expected something else to be there.

Another one of the humans slowly walked forward, towards the center of the room. The smaller of the two Pokémon ran to catch up with the human, walking along at its partner’s side. As the human approached the center of the room, a white circle drew itself on the floor around the exact center, a five-pointed star drawing itself line by line inside the circle. The human who approached the center of the room stopped as they saw this.

“...I see,” the human said as they looked at the sigil on the floor.

“Is this really such a good idea?” One of the other humans asked.

“It’s the only way.” It seemed to be the Pokémon next to the human who had approached the center of the room who said it, the human next to them nodding.

The human continued to walk forwards, approaching the plain, white sigil on the floor. As they approached, something on the back of their left hand began to glow red. The human glanced down at it momentarily, however it did not seem to surprise them and they continued to walk forwards without pause. As they neared the sigil, the Pokémon next to them suddenly stopped, not wanting to approach any closer. The human continued, however; stepping across the circle that bounded the pentagram and walking into its direct center, which was also the direct center of the room.

As soon as the human was standing in the middle of the sigil, five beams of white light shot upwards from the five points of the pentagram inside it. The red glow on the back of the human’s hand began to intensify, until the light from it seemed to envelop the human. A burst of red light suddenly filled the room, slowly fading. After it faded, the two humans on the side saw that the plain white sigil on the floor had changed to a more elaborate image, the white light having changed to red as well. Inside the circle, the image of a phoenix had replaced the pentagram, a sword with angelic wings as its cross guard imposed over the phoenix in the foreground. The human in the middle of it appeared unharmed, which drew a sigh of relief from one of the other humans.

“I’ve got control now,” the human in the middle of the room said. “I almost thought for a second there it wouldn’t recognize me...” The human stared up at the ceiling, smiling. “Bet there’s a great view from up there; let’s check it out.”

With a grinding noise, the domed ceiling overhead began to split open, radial lines appearing in the formerly smooth stone surface, separating the ceiling into multiple pieces that slid backwards, opening up the room to the sky overhead. Without a sound the circular floor rose up into the opening where the ceiling had been, until it seemed to firmly lock into place, flush with the edges of what had been the ceiling before. Everyone on the floor, which was now the roof, looked out with awe, taking in the spectacular view from on top of the miles high tower. Far below them the ground stretched away into the distance, curving up near the base of the tower on all of its sides, forming a valley in which the tower sat. Forests and mountains dominated the view; there wasn’t a single manmade object in sight, as if the land around the tower for miles had been untouched by time.

Before they could take in the view for long, a shrill screech was heard, and a dark shape appeared on the horizon, approaching fast. The three humans gritted their teeth as they recognized the large, winged shape, one of the humans drawing a pistol out of a holster attached to the back of their pants as the air around their other hand turned dark and formed a mass of dark energy.

“I see you arrived before me.”

The voice came from the other side of the tower, and the humans and their Pokémon turned to face it. Another human stood on the very edge of the tower, their eyes closed as they stood with their arms outspread, palms facing forward. At the sight of this fourth human, the human with the gun swiftly turned around to face them, the other human next to the one with the gun clenching their fists in anger. The human in the center turned to face the new arrival, but appeared otherwise indifferent.

“What a despicable place, this tower is. It was the final battleground for several conflicts in the past, stretching across the ages for millions of years. For each and every one of those battles, this very floor we stand on has served as an arena where two would duel to determine the fate of all within its realm. However...in none of those battles save the first did either of the contenders know anything about the true purpose of the tower.”

The fourth human began to slowly walk forward, their eyes still closed, a smirk forming on their face. The human with the gun continued to keep it pointed at them as they approached where the human in the center stood.

“Do you know what this tower’s true purpose is?” the fourth human asked, now standing before the one in the center.

“Do you?” The human in the center looked defiantly up at the one standing before them.

“Yes, I do. I am the only one currently of this world who knows the full extent of this tower’s powers; oh, I know them all too well.” The fourth human suddenly opened their eyes, looking up into the heavens with piercing eyes as they grinned and began to laugh.

The human’s laugh rebounded off the mountains that surrounded the tower, which from the outside was triangular with a line continuous with the wall emerging from each vertex of the tower, so that from the top the tower looked like a triangle made of longer lines than were needed, the excess lines protruding from each of the triangle’s vertices. As the laugh continued to echo around the valley and distant lands the tower rose up from, the large, winged, black mass continued to approach the tower, flying faster and seeming to respond to the laugh, as if it were the call of its master.
 
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A

atomicmonkey

Highly Radioactive
O.O Beautifully written story! I can see the plot will to do wonders to get people hooked. I would suggest you to describe the surroundings more but then this would become a novel. Keep up the good work! ^^
 
S

Shrike Flamestar

Video Game Addict
Wow, you really think so? Thank you!

Describing my surroundings is one of my weak points in writing; however I have been constantly improving. Hopefully, that will continue as the setting moves outside the boundaries of the school in part 2 (part 1 will be about four or five chapters)

I am currently almost done with chapter 2, just a little bit left to write then a proofread or two and it’ll be finished. Hopefully it will be up within a few days.

Well, due to this whole new prologue thing, I’m repurposing this post. This post will now serve as the post for chapter 1...v2! The previous contents of this post are in the spoiler tags up above, for archival purposes. The original .doc file for the original version of chapter 1 can be found online here, if you want to read it for whatever purposes. The only purpose I can think of is to compare and contrast the old and new...

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Part 1: Turning Point​


Chapter 1

What do you see when you open your eyes? Do you see a world of peace and joy? A world of hate and anger? Selfishness? Selflessness? Do you see a world filled with naught but waste, or do you see a world populated by great opportunities? Or...do you see nothing? A world filled with nothing at all.

That is what I see when I open my eyes; I see nothing. But it is not that I do not watch the pictures that play out before me, it is that I do not see anything in those pictures. I open my eyes and watch the world around me, yet I take in nothing; I see nothing. I observe yet I do not know. My brain fails to make those connections between what I am watching, and the meaning of it all. While the world is bright and vivid to me, it is utterly pointless and useless as I see no reason behind it.

“No, no... That is way too melodramatic. Perhaps fate would be a better way to open...”

This path... This ever-ongoing path called life. It calls out to me, reaching for me. I try to—

“Shrike?”

—pull away and run in any other direction than the one the voices come from, yet I can’t. Life has got me in its grasp, and I cannot help but go along against my will. I try to see the truth, that unknown destination I am headed towards, yet how can something hidden from all but the most powerful of beings be seen by me?

“Shrike!”

This path I am forced to follow, it is like a toy train, only able to follow its set path, looping in circles forever. Yet, even with a toy train its path is obvious; it is seen and known to all who wish to know. Yet on my path, there is nothing to even so much as indicate—

“Shrike Flamestar!”

—that I am on a path at all. Yet how am I not if I am unable to do what I want, locked into this course of life? It is as if that proverbial toy train has had its tracks buried under sand—

Smack!

“Oof!”

“Are you with us now, Shrike Flamestar?”

“Huh?” Dimly I blinked a couple times, lifting my head off of the table upon which it had been smacked down onto. “Why was I hit so hard...? Why was I hit period...?” I dazedly asked.

“You were dozing off. Again. Now, I ask you once more, are you with us now?” As my eyes cleared, I adjusted my glasses and looked up to see that the person speaking to me was the teacher of the class I was currently in, the infamous Professor Jura. Despite his old age, he had earned quite the reputation around the Pokémon Academy I was going to as being one of the strictest teachers around, as well as one of the most mysterious; little was known about his past or personal life. No one even knew if he was married, although the general opinion was that no woman was insane enough to want to marry him.

“Oh! Um, yeah, I guess I am. I wasn’t really dozing though, I was just busy with something else. For another class. You see, I’ve already finished all my work for the day. See?” On my tablet PC I quickly minimized the window I had been typing the beginning of a story I was wanting to write in and pulled up one that I had minimized to the background. This new window had a heading of “Observations on the Behavioral Habits of a Cyndaquil under Human Care,” and was filled with various text boxes, tables, and spreadsheets all with various numbers and data that I had collected. Below all the data there were a few paragraphs concluding and bringing together all the research I had done.

“Oh? Even that assignment?” Professor Jura pointed to the classroom’s whiteboard, where a page number and a range of problem numbers had been written. It hadn’t been there last I looked.

“Well, uh...” I really had nothing I could say in response to that.

“If you’re done with your project, I will take it from you now. Those problems are homework; be sure to do them for tomorrow.” Professor Jura reached into his pocket and pulled out a small flat object about one inch square and only a couple millimeters thick. I took the data card from him and slid it into a slot on my tablet PC, saving the project I had just pulled up to it before popping the card back out and handing it to Professor Jura.

As Professor Jura walked away from me, I tried to ignore the giggling of my peers. Glancing at the clock I saw that it was almost the end of the class period, and after looking around the large room filled with high tables, small walls around their edges to prevent stuff on the table from falling off it, I saw that almost everyone else was already done packing up. I slid my tablet PC’s stylus into a slot on the side of it before snapping the cover I kept the tablet PC in closed, giving the tablet PC a book-like appearance. I picked my backpack off the floor next to my chair and rested it on me knee, pulling open the zipper to the biggest pocket and dropping the tablet PC inside of it. Zippering the pocket back up again I slung the backpack over my shoulders and stood up, stretching my arms out a little.

“Come on, it’s time for you to go back to your cage now.” I smiled as I turned to the small Pokémon that lay on my table. It was small with a fairly round body and head, stubby legs, and a long snout. Its fur was two different colors: dark blue on its back, top of its head, and the top of its snout; while its belly, paws, and everything else that wasn’t blue was a cream color. When looking at it in certain lighting conditions a faint red tint was also visible on its belly, a trait which, for lack of a better term, was colloquially called “semi-shiny” to indicate how the Pokémon colorization wasn’t fully in-line with what could be considered a true shiny Pokémon, which also made semi-shiny Pokémon more common than true shiny Pokémon.

“Quil...” The Cyndaquil moaned as it opened its eyes, waking up from the sleep it had been in.

“You can go back to sleep in your cage. I’m sure the bedding and stuff in it is far more comfortable than this hard table is anyways...” I gently picked the Cyndaquil up, holding him tightly in my arms as I walked across the classroom to the wall opposite the one the teacher’s desk was on, and to the right when you come in through the door. This particular wall was lined with rows of cages in which the class Pokémon were kept. The cages were of all sorts of varying sizes to accommodate the different Pokémon Professor Jura brought in for class, but all of them were fairly standard in what was inside them: old sheets to serve as bedding and to help make clean up easier, bowls of food and water attached to a rack on the inside of the door, and a few toys to help keep the more playful Pokémon occupied.

I glanced down at the Cyndaquil in my arms and smiled fondly as I saw he had fallen back asleep already. Now that I finished the project I had been working on, I probably wouldn’t have to take care of the Cyndaquil like this ever again unless I was fortunate enough to be assigned him again in a future project. I likely wouldn’t even be able to stay after class to see him, as Professor Jura would likely be moving all the Pokémon the class had been working with throughout this project to the Pokémon habitats which all the school-owned Pokémon were kept in when a class wasn’t using them. They never let students visit the Pokémon habitats, though, as a student developing a relationship with a school Pokémon was frowned upon by the administration.

I found the cage I had been using to keep the Cyndaquil in during the project and shifted the Cyndaquil’s weight so that I was holding it with only one arm. Using my other hand I undid the cage’s lock and swung the door open. I gently set the Cyndaquil down inside the cage and stroked his back, a cough behind me alerting me to the fact that Professor Jura was watching and didn’t approve of my small act of fondness. Perhaps he was just jealous. Reluctantly I withdrew my hand and closed the cage, relocking the simple lock and briskly turning around. Sure enough, Professor Jura was standing with his arms crossed just a few feet behind me, peering down at me over the top of the half-moon reading glasses he always wore. Without a word I walked past him and to the classroom door, just in time for the bell to ring. Without a glance backwards at either the Cyndaquil or Professor Jura, I followed the rest of the class out of the classroom in a mad dash through the door.

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I blinked as I emerged out of the classroom and into the bright sunlight. The classroom for my General Pokémon Studies class, the one I had just been in, was situated on the third floor of the academics building on the Rustboro Pokémon Academy main campus. Unlike western schools where all classrooms were accessible from interior hallways and corridors inside the building, the Pokémon Academy was designed more like some eastern schools, with classrooms exiting onto balconies that ringed the perimeter of the building. When I had first come to the Pokémon Academy it was quite a change as I had taken primary school inside a building more western than eastern. I had always found it interesting how Hoenn’s position in the middle of the Pacific Ocean brought together influences from both hemispheres of the world.

I walked over to the railing that ran around the balcony, interrupted every so often by support pillars that ran from the ground all the way up to the ceiling of the building, and leaned against it, overlooking what was known as central campus. The Pokémon Academy consisted of three major buildings: the academics building, the dormitory building, and the battle center. Of the three, the academics and dormitory buildings looked exactly the same from the outside; two matching semicircular buildings with six floors each, facing each other with a circular park between them. In the middle of that park stood the battle center, a cylindrical, black, monolithic building three stories high (although each story of the battle center was as tall as two normal stores in the academics and dormitory buildings, meaning that all three of the buildings were the same height) and in which the students could practice battling with specially trained Pokémon they could borrow from the school. There were several more small buildings scattered around the outside of central campus, including a few specialty classrooms, however they were all mostly administrative buildings.

Battle center or dorm... Battle center or dorm... Hmm... Both equally nice options... I thought to myself, scratching my chin.

“Hey, Shrike. Get over here.”

I turned around and looked over to where the voice came from. Standing on the other side of the balcony in a small alcove in the building’s wall was a girl slightly older than me. She wore a tight-fitting black camisole that left her arms and midriff bare, along with a pair of black pants that didn’t fit as tightly as her camisole did, but were still tight enough so as not to get in the way. Her hair, a few inches longer than shoulder-length, was black as well and currently tied back in a ponytail, although on some occasions she wore her hair straight.

“I’m not your slave, Rayne, despite what you may have thought regarding this last project. If you want to talk to me, you can come over here,” I said, disgruntled.

“Tch...” Rayne gave in and walked over to me, leaning her back against the railing and crossing her arms as I turned back around to face out over the campus grounds. “Look, I appreciate you covering for me on that Cyndaquil project. It’s not like you had anyone else to work with, nor did I.”

“The problem was that you did nothing to help me, just pushing all the work off on me like I was some sort of slave of yours. Do you think just because you’re a loner and skip classes whenever you see fit, that entitles you to not have to do any work?” I asked angrily.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I have my reasons for skipping classes and not doing work which I have a feeling I’ll tell you later, but for now, this isn’t what I wanted to talk about.”

“Then explain, and quickly too, before I decide where I want to be.”

“Something is...something is happening. I’m not sure what, but lately...I’ve felt something.”

“Are you going to tell me you’re psychic now? You know, I think I’ve decided. Battle Center it is.”

As I turned to leave, Rayne rushed in front of me. “Please, you’re the only person I know of who will listen to me. I know you’re angry, but just listen to me for a moment!”

I sighed. “Fine, a moment.”

“I’m not psychic. I just have this queasy feeling that’s been nagging me for the past few hours. My gut’s telling me something is about to happen; something big. I don’t know why, but this feeling I’m getting, it feels almost familiar, like I’ve experienced it before.”

“I thought you had lost your memory of everything about your life prior to your coming here?”

“Yes, that’s right; the first thing I can remember is waking up in this school’s infirmary. But nevertheless, there’s some presence here that I’ve felt before, although I can’t remember when, or who, or anything at all.”

“Maybe you just need to go lie down or see the nurse or something; how do you know you’re not just sick?”

“I don’t feel...” Rayne trailed off as her attention was diverted to something behind me. “What are they doing?”

“Huh?” I turned around and looked at what had grabbed her attention. Walking out of the room I had just come out of a few minutes ago, Professor Jura’s classroom, were two people. One of them was tall with fiery red hair that trailed down over his shoulders and blazing red eyes. He wore a peculiar black cloak that pooled about his feet and which obviously didn’t even try to blend in with everyone else. The man next to him was a lot shorter, which was added to due to how he seemed to be hunched over. His “clothes,” at best, could be described as rags which draped over his body carelessly; as if he didn’t care one bit about what he wore as long as it covered his body adequately. His head was covered in coarse, thinning, brown hair, while his eyes shone an inhuman gold. His skin looked tight, as if his body was very old and falling apart, but yet at the same time he didn’t seem to be that old.

As if they wouldn’t draw enough attention just by the way they dressed and the tall one’s choice of hair color, the short one was holding a Cyndaquil by the scruff of its neck, the fingernails of his hand looking more like claws. The Cyndaquil squealed and flailed about, unable to fight back with how it was being held. A few flames sputtered across its back, but the man holding the Cyndaquil seemed unaffected by the fire.

“Hey, what are you doing with that Cyndaquil? Why are you holding it like that? Who are you guys anyways?” I asked as I walked over to them, confronting the pair.

They had turned to walk off down the balcony, but I made them stop in their tracks. The taller, red-haired one turned around, as did his companion, and looked down at me with a condescending look in his eyes while he sized me up. “Who am I? If I answer that or not depends on if you’ll tell me who you are.”

“Shrike Flamestar, sophomore here. But, you’re not from here, are you?”

“No, we are not. We merely came to pick up what is rightfully ours.” The man gestured towards the Cyndaquil. “Since you’ve told me your name, I’ll tell you mine. I am Zelos, and my companion here is Ramirez. We will be leaving now, if you’ll excuse us.”

“Wait, that Cyndaquil doesn’t belong to you, though; does it? It doesn’t seem to enjoy you taking it, although I doubt Ramirez is making it very comfortable...” I stopped them again as they turned to leave.

Zelos was visibly agitated this time, however Ramirez spoke instead, shuffling over to me and sticking his head right next to mine. “Ah... The boy caresss about thisss creaturesss comfortsss, no?” His voice was quiet and he seemed to hiss his words instead of say them. With his head so close to mine, I only now realized that his strikingly gold eyes weren’t shaped like a human’s either; they were narrow vertical slits, like those of a snake. I yelped and stepped back, while Ramirez laughed an odd, hissing laugh.

“Ramirez, do not bother Shrike! He has done nothing to deserve it.” Zelos barked, Ramirez scuttling back to Zelos’s side. “Please, excuse my companion. He is...unlike us. He has certain birth defects that have left his mind changed and distorted; he is mentally unstable, most would say. However, despite that, he is still an invaluable ally of mine.”

“Well, I didn’t mean anything insulting...” It was only then that I realized the one distinctive feature of the Cyndaquil Ramirez was holding, and which hadn’t been immediately obvious to me since it was only visible in certain lighting conditions and the sun had been behind clouds up until then. The fur on the Cyndaquil’s belly shone faintly red when directly hit by the sun’s light, and as I saw this my eyes snapped open wide as the realization of which Cyndaquil Ramirez was holding hit me. “Wait! I’m certain now, that Cyndaquil belongs to the school! You can’t just take it like this, that’s stealing, kidnapping, Pokénapping, whatever you want to call it!”

Zelos smirked, evidently unfazed by my accusations. “I see... Ramirez.”

Ramirez giggled as he reached into his rag-like clothes and pulled out a switchblade, pressing a button on its side which extended the blade out the front of the handle. Seeming almost eager about the situation, he pressed the blade up against the neck of the Cyndaquil, whose eyes widened as he began to breathe heavily. Yelping, I stepped back in surprise, my body seeming to freeze up as my eyes remained fixated on the steel blade pressing against the throat of the very Cyndaquil which I had done my project over for these past few weeks. One small twitch with the knife, and it could all be over. Cyndaquil could be severely injured, or even much worse...

“You recognized this specific Cyndaquil, and it made you quite a deal angry. You care for it, don’t you?” Zelos snidely asked.

“Just...who are you? Why are you doing this, what is the point?” I angrily gasped, my heart beating fast. I almost felt as if it was I who had the blade up against their neck.

“Who I am beyond the name Zelos is none of your concern, but rest assured that I am the sole savior of this world, that it is I who intend to bring true light from the darkness that has enveloped all. To that end, sacrifices must be made, this Cyndaquil being one of them.” Zelos had no compassion for the wellbeing of the Cyndaquil at all while he spoke, his voice having a crazed edge to it which hadn’t been there before.

“What the hell are you talking about? It’s people like you who go around stealing and murdering that are the root of all the problems the world faces today, adding to it is by no means a solution!” I said angrily between gritted teeth, trying to will up the courage to do something, anything, instead of just standing there.

“If that is your belief than you have no hope of understanding the truth of this world. Now, we have stayed here long enough...” Zelos began to turn to walk away, but I interrupted him.

“No, you won’t. You’re not getting away, I won’t let you!” I clenched my shaking hands into fists, forcing my right foot forward, then my left, forcing myself to walk closer to Zelos and Ramirez, closer to the Cyndaquil. The closer I got the more my fear weighed me down, but I kept walking, determined not to let the pair get away with the Cyndaquil.

“Oh? Do you intend to fight us? You don’t look the part of a fighter, plus, we have the upper hand here, don’t forget.” Zelos snapped his fingers and Ramirez gleefully dug the blade into the Cyndaquil’s neck fur further, a red line appearing as the cold steel bit into the Cyndaquil’s neck, the Pokémon whimpering, staring at me helplessly.

The cut caused me to stop in my tracks, my forwards movement towards Zelos and Ramirez halted at the sight of the Cyndaquil’s injury, and the all too real realization that before I could get close enough to even try to get the Cyndaquil away from them, it would be dead.

“So, hero, will you retreat now and let the Cyndaquil live to see the light of another day, or continue with your foolish efforts that can only result in its death?” Zelos mocked.

“I...I...” I stuttered, not sure of what to say, what to do. It felt as if the world around me was falling apart, and I had no way to stop it.

“Oh, come on. I thought you were better than that. Consider this my dues for not helping out with that project!”

Someone ran past me and leapt on top of Ramirez, knocking him to the ground in a pile of rags that made it look as if there wasn’t even a person in them. The switchblade went flying out of Ramirez’s hand, flying in an arc and clattering against the stone floor of the balcony, sliding away before coming to rest near the wall of the building. My eyes were focused on the person who had tackled Ramirez, though.

“Rayne...!” I said breathlessly.

“The Cyndaquil! Grab the damn Cyndaquil already!” She yelled, struggling to keep Ramirez pinned down as he swung his fists wildly.

Realizing that the Cyndaquil had also been knocked out of Ramirez’s grip, I frantically looked around for it, finding that it had dropped on the ground next to Zelos, too stunned to attempt to move away on its own. It was too late however, as just as I located Cyndaquil Zelos bend down and picked him up by the scruff of his neck, pulling a knife of his own—a fairly ornate, in comparison to Ramirez’s switchblade, gold-handled dagger—out of the sleeve of his cloak, pressing it up against the Cyndaquil’s neck in the same manner as Ramirez, but deeper still, widening and deepening the cut that the Cyndaquil had already suffered. As I watched, my mouth gaping open, Zelos cruelly pushed the blade even deeper, blood beginning to run down the chest fur of the Cyndaquil who had fainted by now. The blade of the knife almost entirely buried in the Cyndaquil’s neck, Zelos smirked. “Are you just going to let me kill this Cyndaquil you care so much for, without even an attempt to save its life? Are you not going to attack me, assault me like your friend here? Come on, come on; if you truly cared you would try to take this Cyndaquil away from me, but you are disappointing in that manner, Shrike Flamestar.”

“St...st...stop...” I watched helplessly as the knife dug deeper into the Cyndaquil’s throat, my whole body shaking. Rayne couldn’t save me or the Cyndaquil this time because she was restraining Ramirez, but I couldn’t save him either... I could merely watch as the blade sickeningly bit into the Cyndaquil’s neck, blood spurting out and running down his chest fur, dying it a crimson red. There was a moment of silence as the blade descended, a moment of silence in which all the world around us seemed to dissolve.

“Qui... Qui... Cyn...” The silence was broken as the Cyndaquil suddenly woke up again, right as the blade seemed to entirely disappear into its neck. His voice raspy he gasped for breath, his fur starting to turn pale from the loss of blood, which was now pouring down onto the floor below Zelos. My eyes widened as the Cyndaquil and I stared at each other, our stares seeming to pierce into each other’s soul. At that instant a connection was made between the two of us, an invisible bond that would forever connect our fates. Feeling a part of my soul that I hadn’t even known existed awaken, all my fears were washed away with renewed determination and courage, and I suddenly knew what I had to do.

“LET HIM GO!” I roared, clenching my now still hands into fists as I charged at Zelos. He was bigger than me, and was right in assessing that I was not a good fighter, however my sudden attack took him by surprise. With newfound strength I grabbed the arm which held the dagger and began to pull it away from the Cyndaquil. Zelos was resisting me, yet I managed to slowly draw the blade of the knife out of the Cyndaquil’s neck, blood now able to flow more freely from the long and deep wound. Zelos growled at me, unable to counter. One of his arms I was holding, while the other still held the Cyndaquil. My surprise charge had buckled his legs, and any movement of them to try to kick me would likely result in all of us just falling over. I had managed to get the upper hand and extract the blade from Cyndaquil’s neck, but I wasn’t done quite yet.

Growling in rage, I tightened the fist of my free hand and punched Zelos in the gut as hard as I could. I was no boxer, true, but my rage-fueled punch managed to knock the air out of Zelos all the same. He staggered back and collapsed, almost pulling me down with him if I hadn’t released his arm first. As he fell he dropped the dagger and Cyndaquil, the former brushing against my arm as it fell and drawing a thin line of blood. I grimaced but ignored it, quickly catching the Cyndaquil before he could hit the ground, cradling his limp body in my arms. Meanwhile Ramirez had finally managed to knock Rayne off of him, scrambling to his feet and pulling another switchblade out of his rags. Rayne had picked up the switchblade he had dropped before, though, and was holding it out in front of her as if she and Ramirez were going to duel with four inch swords.

“Shrike, get out of here! Our infirmary isn’t suited for this, take the Cyndaquil to the Pokémon Center down the road!” Rayne frantically yelled as she jumped out of the way to avoid a charge by Ramirez, swinging her knife around in midair and landing a cut on Ramirez’s arm.

Wordlessly I turned around and ran down the balcony away from the fight, looking for the nearest stairs that led down to the ground. I knew that there was a stairwell very close to where the fight was occurring, however getting to it would have required getting past Zelos and Ramirez. Worried I looked down at the Cyndaquil cradled in my arms and grimaced at just how bad the wound was, biting my lip and holding back some vomit. The bleeding wasn’t stopping, blood pouring out from his throat and staining not just his fur but now also my shirt and arms red. His breathing was hard and shallow, sounding as if it was forced. His eyes were clenched tightly closed as he blindly and weakly swung his paws at the air, apparently not realizing that I wasn’t Zelos. Looking around, I ducked into one of the small alcove on the side of the building, sitting down as I set the Cyndaquil in my lap and pulled my shoes and backpack off. Pulling off one of my socks I tied it around Cyndaquil’s neck as a makeshift bandage, being sure to tie it firmly but not so tight that it would cut off his breathing and completely stop the blood flow. Almost immediately the sock was socked all the way through with blood, but I figured at the very least it would help keep blood from splattering everywhere and perhaps staunch the flow of blood somewhat.

I looked at the cut on my own arm, however compared to the Cyndaquil’s mine was practically a paper cut. Nevertheless, it was bleeding and blood was starting to form rivulets down my arm, so I pulled my other sock off and tied it around my cut. I slid my shoes back on before reaching into my backpack, feeling around for something. Finding it I pulled out a half-full plastic bottle, unscrewing the cap. “Hope you like soda,” I whispered to the Cyndaquil as I tipped some of the brown liquid into the Cyndaquil’s mouth. He swallowed it and, relieved, I slowly gave him some more until almost the whole bottle was gone. Taking a final drink myself, I tossed the empty bottle into my backpack, slinging it back over my shoulders. Picking the Cyndaquil back up in my arms, I stood up again. The Cyndaquil looked calmer now and had stopped batting his paws at me, his eyes finally opening again as he looked up at my face and saw who I was. I smiled at him and stroked his head, trying my best to soothe him.

“Isss found you!”

Yelling in surprise I fell back down again, looking up to find Ramirez standing in front of me at the opening of the alcove. He cackled and hissed at me as he pulled out two more switchblades, one in each hand. How many of those does he have? I thought. Helpless, I pressed up against the back wall of the alcove, pressing the Cyndaquil against my chest and shielding him with my arms as Ramirez approached. This was it, this was the end... There was no way I could fight back now...

“Ramirez! Let him be. Staying here any longer would jeopardize everything, I am afraid we need to retreat.”

With a reluctant hiss Ramirez retracted the blades of the knives, stuffing them back into his rags. Angrily he scuttled away from me, hunched over as always. In his place, Zelos walked up the alcove, glowering down at me with pure hatred in his eyes. I noticed, with immense satisfaction, that he was clutching his stomach where I had punched him.

“Shrike. I am sparing you for now so as not to attract more undue attention. However, if you ever get in the way of my plans again, I will kill you. My plans go far beyond your simple minded understanding, and I cannot afford to have a little kid such as yourself continually messing them up.” With that, Zelos turned around and ran off down the balcony with Ramirez trailing him like a dog, what few bystanders who were left and hadn’t run away yet stared after him in puzzlement.

“Come on Shrike, get up. This is no time to worry about them; you’re holding a much more pressing matter in your arms.” Rayne said, appearing with her arm held out towards me. Nodding, I shifted Cyndaquil to support him with just one arm and grabbed her hand with my other, letting her help pull me to my feet again. “I’ll stay behind and explain what happened when some of the staff gets here; it’s inevitable that someone’s told them and they’re probably on the way as we speak. You get the Cyndaquil to the Pokémon Center.” Rayne said sternly.

“Right.” I nodded, knowing time was short now. How long the Cyndaquil could hold out I had no idea, but that he was able to last this long was a miracle. Not wasting any more time I ran off down the balcony to the stairs, praying all the while that the Cyndaquil who now lay sleeping in restless, fitful sleep in my arms would hold out just a little longer.

End of Chapter 1
 
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T

Tale

Well-Known Member
Holy. Crap.

O.O I suppose you can thank atomicmonkey for getting me to read this, as his review intruged me quite a bit (yeah, I read through reviews first, usually >.>) and damn am I glad he did.

Shrike, it's fics like this that really inspire me to write, its fics like this that I idolise and adore, for so many reasons. One of the main reasons I love your certain fic is pretty much concept. It really grabs me, I love it as soon as I begin reading. It has such originality, at least, for the beginning - and even if it loses originality throughout the fic I know that it wouldn't matter now, because you've got me hooked.

I'm struggling to find any flaws myself, I loved everything about it. Theres usually something about Pokemon acedemies that reallly draw me in and intrigue me, and this academy looks to be extremely enjoyable.

Well, if I do manage to find any mistakes in future chapters or whatever, you can be sure I'll point them out, because you've just earned yourself a permanent reviewer.

Great job, Shrike, I'm really looking forward to future chapters.
 
U

UnholyWeather

Guest
This is a very engaging first chapter. I hope you can continue writing the rest of this story.

P.S. I apolgize for the brief response. I'm not a good reviewer even in real life so don't take it personal. Just know that I will be reading this tale.
 
S

Shrike Flamestar

Video Game Addict
Wow, I never expected to get this kind of response.

I am truly grateful for all the positive feedback, especially after having trying to write something successfully for years. I think I may have finally found my true calling in the one genre which most people tend to avoid in Pokémon fanfics.

I think I’ll devote tonight to working on chapter 2, so as to get it up as soon as possible. While it doesn’t have a big scene like chapter 1 with [spoil]the fight between Zelos/Ramirez and Shrike/Rayne[/spoil] and is much more dialogue driven, I think it’s turning out pretty good with more character development for Shrike.
 
A

atomicmonkey

Highly Radioactive
Haha....I think you'll get a lot of reviews like this. You have no idea how hard it is to find good fics these days. I'd write one but I"m too lazy and busy. ^^ Character development scenes are intriguing aswell. I'll be looking forward to your next chapter.
 
X

Xalmar

In the shadows...
Heh, I know this is going to sound like the other reveiws you've already gotten, but...that chapter was awesome. Your descriptions of the characters and the surroundings could use some work (although the one for Rayne was good) but it wasn't necessary to be drawn into the story. That poor Cyndaquil, I know you probably won't kill him right off the bat, but I'm still worried a bit.

Shrike looks a lot like me from what you've described him. We both have glasses, short, brown hair, and like to write sci-fi and fantasy. I usually find I can relate to characters in the fics here, maybe that's why I like them so much.

I also like the two villains you have so far. Their names escape me as I'm writing this review. I can't help but wonder if the one was telling the truth when he said his friend has brain disorders, but I can't imagine what would cause that. Time will tell I suppose...

Anyway, to summarize, very good plot, the discriptions are a bit lacking, I think, but just a bit, and the villains are good. Keep up the good work, and get the next chapter up A.S.A.P!

P.S: You don't have to rush to get the next chapter done, I'd rather wait so you can make it good. Take your time.

P.P.S.: I forgot to mention Rayne in the review. I like her, and I hope she'll continue to be in the story. There we go.

P.P.P.S: Wow, the review is shorter than I expected. Oh well. I'm done now.
 
S

Shrike Flamestar

Video Game Addict
As I've said, I'll try to up my descriptions from now on, seeing as that seems to be the one major issue I seem to have.

Hmm, Shrike is modeled after me, so I guess we must both look and write alike then... Strange how these things work out...

Don’t worry, I’m not rushing :D I actually had chapter 2 mostly done except for two paragraphs last night, so I’m now proofreading and revising it. As I’m overly compulsive with proofreading I’ll probably proofread a second time tomorrow, then convert it to BBcode (which is pretty easy, much easier then converting it into HTML as I have to do for another site, however, HTML is worth the extra effort...) and post it, so ETA for chapter 2 is tomorrow night unless something terrible happens at school and bums me out for the day (gah, I hate those days, I can never get anything done on them...)
 
K

Kiyohime

Well-Known Member
It's quite enaging...your style feels natural, but sometimes I feel as though the dialogue could be improved, though I like how Ramirez speaks. I quite liked the beginning of it-- "Shrike Flamestar, wake up!" TEH OLD-MAN SLAP!

I'm sorry, but I HAVE to ask this: Were Ramirez and Zelos named after the characters of Skies of Arcadia? I love that game. :p
 
S

Shrike Flamestar

Video Game Addict
Close, Ramirez is, but Zelos is more so from Tales of Symphonia (After all, the Zelos in SoA is just a [spoil]big ball that grows claws, only to merge with Ramirez in a big silver mess...[/spoil]). Their personalities weren't influenced by those two, however; just their names (I adopted the names Zelos and Ramirez as my villain names years ago, before I started thinking up names for myself, not that I'm all that good at that today either...)
 
X

Xalmar

In the shadows...
I'll be looking for the update later today, then. I am sort of glad that it should be coming today, because after tomorrow I'm going on a trip for the weekend, to see our grandparents. I won't have access to the internet for a whole three days!

I know, I have no life. But I enjoy whatever it is I have.

Once again, don't kill the poor Cyndaquil. :(
 
S

Shrike Flamestar

Video Game Addict
Yeah! I finished chapter 2! Without farther ado, here it is!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2


“Help! I need a doctor now! I don’t know how much longer he can hold out...”

I burst through the doors of the Pokémon Center, not even waiting for them to open fully but squeezing between them as they slid apart instead. The circular, immaculately clean foyer of the Pokémon Center was mostly empty, but a few people sat around talking and turned to look at me as I ran in screaming. In particular a pink haired and slender nurse dressed in a white nursing gown stood up from where she had been sitting behind a reception desk, looking at me inquisitively. “Can I help you sir? Who are you talking about?”

“This Cyndaquil, it was...” I hesitated, not wanting to think of what Zelos and Ramirez had so ruthlessly done, “Injured. Badly injured. A knife cut deep into its throat.”

I walked over to the reception desk and showed the nurse the form I cradled in my arms like a baby. The Cyndaquil had steadily been getting worse; the sock I had tied around his throat to help stop the bleeding looked as if it had been dropped into a pool of blood and even more ran out around it, tangling his chest fur into a sticky crimson mess. His breathing was slow and came in short wheezes, his fur was ghastly pale, and his entire body felt as if a fire was raging inside of him even more so then usual. As the nurse saw him she gasped and typed a flurry of words into the computer on the desk. “Chansey! There’s a Cyndaquil here who needs treatment in the ER immediately!”

A pair of swinging doors burst open and out of it a pink, egg shaped Pokémon about as high as my waist waddled out, pushing a small stretcher ahead of it. “Chansey!” It said, looking at me and pointing at the stretcher with one of its stubby arms. Realizing what it wanted I reluctantly lay the Cyndaquil on the stretcher, being careful so as not to move him more then I had to. Out of my arms and lying helplessly on the stretcher he looked even worse then before, and as the Chansey began to pull the stretcher back through the doors I had to restrain myself from chasing after, feeling as if I would never see Cyndaquil again if I let him out of my sight. I knew I couldn’t follow, however, and bit my lower lip as the doors flapped close behind the Chansey and the Cyndaquil bearing stretcher.

“What is your name and trainer ID, sir? Is that Cyndaquil yours? I’ll need a full account on what happened.” The nurse recited after the Chansey and Cyndaquil had left. Turning to her I slumped against the counter, folding my arms and hanging my head; only then realizing that the front of my shirt and my lower arms, bare as I was wearing a t-shirt, were covered in blood. I looked up at the nurse and tried to act stronger then I felt at the moment.

“My name is Shrike Flamestar and I don’t have a trainer ID; I’m a student at The Pokémon Academy, the Rustboro campus, of course. No, the Cyndaquil is not mine, it belongs to the school. I really would rather not talk about what happened.”

“I’m sorry, but we need to know what happened for our records, and we also need some form of identification, such as a school ID card. You said something about a knife cutting its throat? How did that occur?”

Sighing reluctantly I gave in and told her what had happened, meanwhile trying to convince myself that it had all been a dream. When I finally finished I was worn out from being forced to retell the tale and I slumped down farther as I dug my school ID out of my pocket and laid it on the counter. Picking it up the nurse finished typing whatever she had been working on and gave a small nod as she glanced at me and handed my ID back.

“You can go and sit down now; the washrooms are over there if you want to wash off. As soon as we have the Cyndaquil in a stable condition we’ll let you in to see it.”

I staggered over to a chair that gave a good view of the glass wall that made up half of the circular room’s parameter and dropped down into it, setting my backpack onto the floor, not caring for the blood on me. My right arm throbbed from where Zelos’ knife had fallen and cut me, the sock I had tied around it showing hints of blood starting to soak through, however I ignored it and stared blankly out the glass wall. A few minutes later I sighed and snapped out of the trance I had been in as I reached into one of my jeans pockets, pulling out a rectangular metal device about the size and shape of a book. Sliding a stylus pen out of it I flipped open the tablet PC’s cover and tapped at the screen, pulling up a story about a Pokémon trainer that I was working on. I tried to continue writing in it, yet found that I just wasn’t in the mood right now to write anything and instead checked to see if I could get a wireless internet connection in the Pokémon Center, only to be prompted with a screen saying,


Wireless internet service in this Pokémon Center is restricted to licensed Pokémon Trainers and personnel only. Please login with your full name and Trainer ID.
NAME:
TRAINER ID#:


Defeated, I closed my tablet PC and returned the stylus to its slot before replacing the PC back into my pocket. For about five more minutes I sat there blankly, trying not to think about anything at all, as if that would make things normal again, until I was snapped aware by a familiar cell phone ring. I grabbed my cell phone off of its clip on my belt and looked at the small external display on which the number calling me was shown. I didn’t recognize the number but nevertheless I flipped it open to answer the call. “Hello?”

“Hey, Shrike. How’s the Cyndaquil doing?” Rayne’s voice responded. I suddenly remembered that we had swapped phone numbers when we were first grouped together, but I hadn’t bothered to memorize hers and instead just saved it to my phone’s address book.

“Don’t know. He was in really bad shape when I got here, but I haven’t heard anything farther yet. I’ll call you back as soon as I know anything.”

“Okay... Wait, hold on, Mr. Neil wants to talk to you.”

“Huh? You mean Neil, the assistant principal? What’s he want?”

“Ask him yourself, here...” And then in a different voice that I didn’t recognize all that well, “Hello? Shrike Flamestar, is it? I trust that this isn’t some kind of prank?”

“Yes, I am Shrike, sir. And no, this isn’t a prank; why would anyone joke about this?”

“Well, we have plenty of eyewitnesses so there’s not much doubt to that matter, instead I wanted to talk with you in regards to the Cyndaquil that is currently being treated by the Pokémon Center between our campus and Rustboro City proper, that’s the one, right?”

“Um, I suppose so. All I know is that this is the Pokémon Center that is right next to the school and which we were told is where we should go if a Pokémon in our possession is injured severely and beyond the care of the school’s infirmary. Since the cut Cyndaquil received was so deep and directly on his throat, as I’m sure Rayne has already told you, I thought it best to bring him here.”

“Good thing you did, from the sounds of it this matter is far out of the hands of our doctors. The real problem we have on our hands right now, however, is that of your current possession of the Cyndaquil itself. See, by law a Pokémon Center can only return a Pokémon to the person who brought it in in the first place, hence why they take your name and trainer ID if you have one. You do not have to stay at the Center for the entire time, of course, although I have seen fit to arrange to have you excused from classes for the rest of the day, as per Professor Jura’s request; however some of the board members are concerned that this period of time may leave an imprint of sorts on you.”

“An imprint, sir?” I was puzzled, both over what Mr. Neil meant and why Professor Jura requested that I be excused from classes for the day; I had never heard of him being considerate to anyone besides himself before.

“A psychological one, yes. Quite frankly some people are worried that you will grow attached to the Cyndaquil and believe that it is your own Pokémon even though that is most certainly not the case, especially with such a specimen as this one; I am under the impression that it is of an abnormal coloring.”

“Somewhat, his chest fur has some extra chemicals in them that give his chest a sort of red shine; the shine is only on his chest, however. If it was over his full body he’d be outright rare, but being half-and-half like this is merely uncommon nowadays.”

“Professor Jura taught you this?”

“Yes, sir.”

For a moment there was only the sound of papers being shuffled through, followed by silence. Shortly Mr. Neil spoke up again, “That’s it for now. As I have already said, you have been excused from classes for the day, but I fully expect you to be back tomorrow with this incident out of your mind.”

“I understand, sir.”

With a click the phone call ended and I closed my cell phone, clutching it tightly in my hand as I thought on what Mr. Neil had said. It was clear they wanted to press in the point that Cyndaquil belonged to them and not me, yet my mind kept on slipping around the thought, not bearing to think about it. I didn’t want to admit it but the mindset the school feared I would slip into I already had. Anxious for something else to take my mind away from those thoughts I stood up and reattached my cell phone to its clip as I walked over to the reception desk. “How’s Cyndaquil doing? Can I see him yet?”

“We’re sorry, sir. He is still in the emergency room, but should be ready to be moved to intensive care any minute now. As soon as his condition is stable we’ll be sure to notify you. If you want to leave the building you can give me your phone number and we will call you if necessary.” The nurse said, not looking away from her work.

“No, that’s not needed. Not now, anyways. I can wait here.”

The next few hours passed uneventfully, most of the time being spent working on some homework I had built up. Eventually I changed my shirt with a spare one from my backpack and washed off the blood caked on my arms, replacing the sock wrapped around my cut with a cloth bandage a nurse gave me; I could tell that everyone else in the Pokémon Center was glad I had done so since I looked like I had killed someone before. Boringness finally got the better of me and I asked the nurse why I had to have a trainer’s license to access the internet, only to find out that I could also use my school ID to get on and that they hadn’t found the time to change the notice yet. Aggravated that they had been so lazy as to not change one little sentence around I finally made my way online and logged into a chat room that me and some of my online friends hung out on.


*** Fire_Bird has joined the chat
>Fire_Bird: Hey guys, sorry I couldn’t get on last night.
>LordDark: Hey, FB! So why weren’t you on last night? Why are you on now?
>Fire_Bird: It was my turn to look after the Cyndaquil for my school project.
>LordDark: Ah, I see. Still, shouldn’t you be in class now?
>Fire_Bird: I got excused...
>chaos: ooh... faking being sick again?
>Fire_Bird: No, I got in a fight.
>chaos: aha! i knew you had it in you! tell us all about it!
>LordDark: Chaos, I have a feeling FB doesn’t want to talk about it -_-
>Fire_Bird: No, that’s all right, it’s probably better if you knew, anyway.
>Fire_Bird: Or at least it may help me feel better.
>chaos: w00t!
>Fire_Bird: It happened after GPS class.
>Fire_Bird: I was talking to Rayne when I saw two people come out of the classroom.
>chaos: hmm, rayne, never heard of her before. is she your gf? have any pictures? is she hot?
>Fire_Bird: NO! NO! And, erm...
>chaos: so I struck a nerve :D
>LordDark: Can you just let FB finish before you ask questions?
>Fire_Bird: Anyways, One of the men was holding a Cyndaquil.
>Fire_Bird: I recognized it as being the same one Rayne and I were studying in GPS.
>* chaos restrains himself from making a snide remark about fb x rayne
>Fire_Bird: When they realized I knew they had stolen it they threatened to decapitate it right then and there.
>chaos: ... now that’s f***ed up.
>LordDark: Why would they do that?
>Fire_Bird: They claimed they needed a test subject for an experiment involving Pokémon anatomy.
>Fire_Bird: If I wanted to stop them they said they would begin right there, so they did.
>LordDark: Have you reported them to the police? That’s just wrong!
>Fire_Bird: I think Rayne might have, if not the school probably has.
>chaos: so you fought them off in a valiant effort to get the cyndaquil back?
>Fire_Bird: Kind of, except I was frozen in shock for a while as they slowly cut into Cyndaquil’s neck.
>* chaos feels sick.
>* LordDark does to.
>Fire_Bird: Then Rayne knocked out the person who was holding him.
>Fire_Bird: But the other guy got to him before I could and began to cut into his throat faster.
>Fire_Bird: I finally came to my senses and wrenched the knife away from Cyndaquil’s neck,
>Fire_Bird: Before punching the guy in the gut causing him to drop Cyndaquil, who I got to first this time.
>chaos: and the day is saved!
>Fire_Bird: He also dropped his knife, which cut into MY arm.
>chaos: LOL
>LordDark: How is it funny when FB gets hurt, but sick when a Cyndaquil does?
>Fire_Bird: They then ran away or something.
>Fire_Bird: So I was left with the Cyndaquil whose neck they had just cut into about an inch or so deep.
>Fire_Bird: I brought him to the Pokémon Center right outside the school,
>Fire_Bird: And have been here for a couple hours now.
>Fire_Bird: Fortunately I brought my PC and my trusted backpack o’ supplies.
>chaos: so, about rayne...
>* LordDark smacks Chaos
>LordDark: Wow, are you okay? How’s the Cyndaquil? Who the hell would do such a thing O_O
>Fire_Bird: Yes, I’m okay now. Don’t know as they aren’t telling me. Their names are Zelos and Ramirez.
>Fire_Bird: You haven’t happened to hear about them before, have you?
>LordDark: Hmm, nope, don’t ring a bell.
>chaos: how old is rayne?
>* LordDark summons Ho-Oh to attack Chaos with Sacred Fire, turning him completely to ashes.
>chaos: i feel unwanted here :(


“Excuse me? You are Shrike Flamestar, correct?”

Blinking I looked up from my conversation, finding that a new nurse, this one with black hair tied back in a bun yet otherwise looking similar to the receptionist, was standing over me. “Yes. Is this about Cyndaquil? How is he?”

“He is fine; he will have to remain in intensive care for a while longer, we’re guessing a couple days at least, but his condition has stabilized enough to allow you to see him.”

Quickly I stood up, hastily typing the letters “BRB” on the onscreen keyboard of my PC before sliding it into my pocket, following the nurse through the same doors Cyndaquil had left through and down a white walled hallway, past several doors branching off the main path and carts piled high with medical equipment. We passed a couple more nurses and doctors as well as a Chansey or two before finally turning through a door labeled “Intensive Care. Authorized personnel and escorted visitors ONLY!”

“He is in here, please try to be quiet.” The nurse said, inserting a keycard into a slot besides a door with a plaque that read “FT-S1.” The door slid aside smoothly and I nervously stepped into the pitch black room. I couldn’t make out a thing and fumbled around for a light switch before suddenly a single, small lamp next to a bed turned on as the nurse pressed a button on the panel outside the room. The lamp didn’t reveal much about the room other then the small bed with a bundle of blankets on top a couple of yards from the door, the rest of the room being hid in darkness. I nearly cried out in joy as I ran over to stand next to the bed, stifling the urge to reach out and take the sleeping form of Cyndaquil away with me now.

He looked haggard and worn, however he had been thoroughly washed and not a drop of blood could be seen anymore throughout his fur. The cut on his neck which had been bleeding so profusely before had been stitched close; his head and neck held tightly in a metal clamp attached to the bed so that the stitch wouldn’t tear open in case he moved in his sleep. A couple of IVs ran from his side and there were flattened places in his fur where various sensors had been before but were now removed.

“I must admit, this was one of the worst cases I’ve ever seen. Injuries of this magnitude are more common in the center of the city, not its outskirts. Still, the doctors believe he should be almost back to normal within a month; however he can leave here before then as long as whoever cares for him makes sure he gets plenty of rest.” The nurse said, walking over to me as I dropped to my knees next to the bed.

“‘Almost’. What does that mean?” I asked as I watched Cyndaquil’s stomach rise and fall. Just as it had when I put him in his cage, before Zelos and Ramirez kidnapped him and started this whole mess.

“Well, while his trachea and carotid arteries were fortunately uninjured, the sacs of methane gas that Cyndaquils and their evolutions use to produce fire out of their mouths were badly damaged. It is not known rather they will heal on their own, although it is suspected unlikely. While the methane gas sacs are damaged like this he will not be able to produce any fire out of his mouth, although he will still be able to on his back since those use a different ignition method.” The nurse said. I looked grimly at the stitch on Cyndaquil’s neck and sighed.

“So, in other words, he won’t be able to use attacks such as Ember, Flamethrower, and the like.” Cautiously I reached out and smoothed a patch of Cyndaquil’s fur that was sticking straight up. “Don’t know why I care, though. It’s not like he’s mine, and it’s not as if the school will just hand him over to me like they would a textbook.”

“Yet you look as though you care for him a great deal.”

“I do. Before this happened I was assigned to keep watch and record data on him for a school project. During that time I grew to like him, and was disappointed that it was unlikely I’d ever be able to see him again after we finished due to the school’s policy against letting students visit the school’s Pokémon. Despite my disappointment I was still able to cope with losing him to the school at that point, however. But then, when Zelos and Ramirez came and were about to kill him, I snapped; I suddenly realized that he is the Pokémon I want to partner with, to journey out into the world side by side with. Except, I’m only a sophomore, I still have two more years until I’m released from school. I could always drop out, seeing as there’s no law forbidding dropouts from getting their training licenses, yet even then there’s still the matter that he’s the school’s property and if I were to take him I’d be no better then Zelos and Ramirez. Without the killing, of course. I doubt my dad would be very happy if I dropped out either, he’s the one who sent me to this school to begin with, after all.”

“Perhaps you should try talking to the school board.” A harsh voice said from the doorway.

Startled I swung around to face the intruder and stifled a gasp of surprise as I found myself looking at a familiar, tall and elderly man; his head topped with wiry gray hair and his hands clasped behind his back as he stared at me sternly. “Professor Jura?! What are you doing here; I thought you had a class now?”

“I do. I figured the students in that class are so lackluster when it comes to Pokémon, however, that my presence there wouldn’t make any difference whatsoever. So I left them to themselves; locking all the doors and windows, of course.” Professor Jura said as he walked over to where the nurse and I were huddled around Cyndaquil’s bed. “Move out of the way. I want to see the Cyndaquil. It is my Pokémon, of course.”

“Sir, you can’t be back here, this is a restricted area. Only staff and visitors under escort are allowed in here.” The nurse stammered, surprised by the abruptness of Professor Jura.

“Ah, Shrike’s my escort. Besides, just try and stop me.” Professor Jura growled as he pushed his way past the nurse and next to where I stood, towering over my kneeling form as he stared down at me. “What are you doing on the ground, boy? Praying?”

Wondering what was the best way to escape from Professor Jura’s gaze yet still remain with the Cyndaquil I quickly stood up. “Watching him sleep. You can’t see his neck when you kneel, so he looks almost the same as before it all; as I wish it could be. I know he’s not my Pokémon, yet I’ve found that I care for him all the same now.”

For what had to be the first time these past two years I’ve had with him, Professor Jura actually briefly smiled and nodded at me. “Good. You care for something other then yourself, a trait I’ve found rare among my students these days. Yet, you need to come to terms with what is and not your vision of a perfect reality, so I forbid you from kneeling for now.”

“Yes, sir.” I nodded submissively, looking down at the stitched cut which I had indirectly caused out of my negligence.

“Excuse me, sir, but you really need to—” The nurse began, but Professor Jura cut her off.

“I’ll leave when I’m good and ready, and I most certainly am not now. Do I look like I am disturbing anything; I am but an old man after all. And will you all please stop calling me ‘sir,’ it’s starting to get on my nerves.”

“Professor Jura? Pardon my asking, but what are you doing here? I doubt you left your class just so you could checkup on Cyndaquil, something which you could have easily called and done.” Remembering something else he had said I quickly added, “Also, you mentioned something about him being yours? Are you referring to how he’s used in your class?”

“You make a good point on my being here, and indeed I am not here merely to check up on the Cyndaquil. I am here to check up on you. The school board is going all willy-nilly over the Cyndaquil’s condition, yet everyone seems to be forgetting the human factor involved.”

“But, you could have called me just the same.”

“Some things you need to do in person, and my task here today is one of them.”

Utterly confused now I tried changing the subject again, “About you calling Cyndaquil yours, even though he’s the school’s...”

“Tell me, Shrike. What do you plan to do now?” Professor Jura asked, once again ignoring the new subject I proposed.

“What do I plan to do now? I don’t know, I suppose I can try and arrange with the school board to be allowed to see him every once in a while, as you suggested.”

“I suggested nothing of the sort. I said you should try speaking with the school board and that was all, I never said about what.”

“Then, what do you suggest I do?”

“You must decide that for yourself. I am your General Pokémon Studies teacher, not your guidance counselor after all.”

By now I was starting to get frustrated and didn’t know what to say, so remained silent instead. Trying to stay calm I gently petted Cyndaquil, being sure to keep my fingers away from the stitch on his neck and the IVs that emerged out of his side.

“More caring. Compassion and tenderness too. You remind me of, well, that is not important right now. I believe I have seen what I need to and thus I will be making my leave now; hopefully those scamps haven’t torn apart the classroom in my absence.” Professor Jura said, turning around and pushing his way past the nurse who had been standing by the door silently after it became apparent that Jura wasn’t listening to her. Stopping in the doorway he turned back around to me, giving me another of his stern stares. “Tomorrow after class, which you will attend, no excuses, I wish to talk with you farther. Until then, think about what you want to do, what you need to do, and what you will do.” With that Professor Jura was gone, quickly shuffling off down the hallway. I stared at the empty door a moment longer before turning back to Cyndaquil. What am I going to do? I thought to myself.

“Pardon me, sir, but you must leave now. The doctors want to checkup on the Cyndaquil’s progress.” The nurse said to me as another person in a white lab coat who must have come into the room while I hadn’t been paying attention walked back out the door and away.

Nodding I stroked Cyndaquil’s chest one last time and turned away from him, walking briskly down the hall as I remembered from when the nurse had led me to Cyndaquil’s room. Coming back out into the reception area I looked out the glass wall at the clear evening sky. It was nearly nine now, yet it seemed like mere minutes ago that it had all started. My exhaustion hitting me like a hammer I quickly scribbled my cell phone number on a piece of paper and gave it to the pink haired nurse at the reception desk, reminding her of my name and telling her that I wanted to be called if absolutely anything of importance happened to Cyndaquil.

Gathering up my stuff from where I had left it by my chair I walked out through the Pokémon Center’s door, my mind filled with troubled thoughts yet not wanting anything more then to know that everything would turn out all right in regards to Cyndaquil and my newfound bond with him.

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Xalmar

In the shadows...
Gah, I know I said I'd read it yesterday, when it was up. I could make a poor excuse involving the fever I had last night, but I just forgot. Sorry! ^_^

I think Professor Jura is going to let Shrike have his Cyndaquil, they seem to have a really good bond with each other.

Anyway, about the story, it was very well written, and I couldn't find any errors in the spelling or structure. Of course, I wasn't looking but...you get it. I have also never heard the word boredness used before, and I looked it up to see if it was really a word or not.

I also liked the IM conversation. Chaos in particular really made me laugh. Especially when he started laughing after he heard Shrike got hurt. Anyway, good chapter, good story, keep it up!
 
T

The True Champion

Behold his Power
I like both chapters a lot I think this story is great. I like the way the first to chapters came out because you really get to know the characters. I think Professor Jura is actually really nice he just didn't like how most of his students only care about themselves. I think its horrible that Cyndaquil might not be able to use fire attacks like flamethrower and ember i hope that it all heals so he can. I think that Shrike and Cyndaquil will make a great team if the school board lets him have him. As for errors i didn't find any but i really didn't look but it wasn't anything big so i don't think you have anythng to worry about there. This is a great fic, i think your an excelent writer and I hope the fic turns out the way you want. Keep up the good work!!!!!
 
S

Shrike Flamestar

Video Game Addict
Heh, sorry I haven’t said anything lately. I’ve just rediscovered my love for three games (Half-Life 2, Star Wars: KOTOR, and Uplink) so have been playing those almost straight the past few days.

Do not fret, however! I just began work on chapter 3 and god, I am loving this beginning :D I plan to have it done within this week, however I would rather not commit to a specific date. Just know that it will be ready when it is and no sooner.

On another note, Chapter 1 is now up on another site with HTML formatting. It looks awesome like that and is much cleaner so I’m going to try contacting one of the Mods here to see if it’s okay to link to it (yet still keep the BBcode version up here).

I have also never heard the word boredness used before, and I looked it up to see if it was really a word or not.
Click to expand...

Neither did I, but when I wrote it “boringness” just felt like the right word so I used it and was surprised myself when no red line showed up underneath it (Microsoft Word’s on the fly spellchecking is awesome)

EDIT: I noticed that I was nominated for “Best First-timer” in the Winter Awards (Doesn’t feel like Winter where I live...) by Tale. Wow, thank you! While I don’t know if I quite deserve it (haven’t looked at any of the other nominee’s works <_<) just being nominated feels like an honor, especially when, as you said, my work has only been up for so little time...
 
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Shrike Flamestar

Video Game Addict
I am EXTREMELY sorry this has taken so long. I have gotten very, er, “busy” *coughvideogamesarefun!cough* lately so haven’t had much time to write. I have managed to get at least the first half of Chapter 3 done, however, and decided that I should just post this so as people don’t think I died :D It’s not as long as the previous chapters (obviously, seeing as it’s not done yet...) yet it should hopefully hold you all over.

I’ll try to finish up the second half of Chapter 3 as soon as possible, and when I do I will edit this post to link to the entire Chapter 3 which will contain both this half and the rest.

But, for now, read and enjoy!

Oh, and if you like my writing, feel free to vote for me in the Winter Awards. I don’t care rather I win or not, but it’s a great way to encourage me to write faster if I know people really like my work!

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I have removed Chapter 3a as I have now finished the final Chapter 3. Please go to the post here if you want to read it.
 
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blossom

Guest
Wow! I'm really hooked on your story so far. I love your writing style! I can't wait to see what happens next.

I noticed some minor mistakes, like, you use the word 'then' often when it should be 'than'. And I found a lot of places that could use commas in them to make it flow more nicely... nothing really major though.

And I personally think that you have the perfect amount of description. Not too much, but not too little either. I often get bored of stories that are obese with description though. XD

Anyway, I just wanted to say great work so far. Keep it up, I'll be reading.
 
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