The Forgotten Adventures of the Pokémon Professors

[PKMN Professor Harry]

The Forgotten Adventures of the Pokémon Professors

Now, prepare yourselves for an amazing entertainment spectacular!...But first, The Forgotten Adventures of Professor Oak!

Not many people know that Professor Oak was once a top trainer. This is his story. Or rather, the story of his Pokémon and their adventures, most notably his Scizor;212; and Squirtle;007;, who was eventually given to Gary, but you know about that. The story starts when Professor Oak was just a boy, with his two Pokémon, aiming for Pokémon league. This story will be told in part by people who knew him and want to tell their side of the story.

Anyway, to begin. Professor Oak's first ever battle was against a boy called Granville Ketchum, the grandfather of Ash Ketchum off the TV. Granville was a strong and proficient trainer, and Professor Oak was thrashed, and then Granville proceeded to nick all his money. You see, Granville had the "Evil Gene". It is present in only a few humans, and by the time Ash was born, you will be sad to hear, it had died out. The young Professor vowed that he would not rest until he had beaten Granville Ketchum, stood in front of him and said Naa-naa-ne-naa-naa! and run away.

The current Kanto Elite Four Agatha has this to say about Prof. Oak.:

"I never liked him. I thought, the first time I ever laid eyes on him up at indigo Plateau, when I was young and even more attractive than I am now, I thought to myself, "Oh blimey, what a weed." So I decided to beat him. When I did, I said to him, "Naa-naa-nee-naa-naa!", to show I didn't like him. But when he became a Pokémon Professor, I decided to sneak into his lab, and put a bomb under his favourite chair. I would've succeeded too, if his cat hadn't curled up on there. The cat got blown up, and Professor Oak didn't! Since then, I've been devising other ways to kill him, but I've never told anyone, not even when Typhlogirl asked me to be on PokéTalk! But now, I feel it is safe to tell the world. Say, when are you going to begin recording?...
Ooohhh dear.

And so concludes my tale! Next time, "Brock: Before he was Famous."

Reviews please!

 

[Naetoru & Stitch]

Sounds good! The Prequel to the original/first Pokemon series or an interview. Let's get to Brock!

 

[Psychic]

... Wtf?

This...really wasn't good. It certainly wasn't long enough to be a page long on Microsoft Word (or a similar progam), and it wasn't even written on the program when all fics should be, not only so there won't be any spelling/grammar mistakes, but also because it's a rule that no chapter can be under a page long.

Another FanFiction Rule it broke was the 'No smilies in a fic' rule. >.< Don't put the Pokémon smilies in fics...


Anyways, the story itself was merely a brief overview of what happened to Oak before becoming a professor. It wasn't at all like a story, being more like a bunch of facts you read from a history textbook (which is never a good thing).
There should have been description. We don't know what Oak looked like when he was younger. Did he have spiky green hair? What kinds of clothing did he wear? What about Ash's Dad? Nobody knows what he looks like, so you have to tell us! It IS your story, after all. Another thing is that in Pokémon fanfiction, you need to describe the Pokémon themselves.
Of course, you can only do that when you write a fic as a story, which is why there is no description or character development. Seriously, these people (and Pokémon) have no personalities. They were like mindless robots, and we have no idea what they're like except that Granville had something called an 'Evil Gene', but we have no idea what the heck that is. And no, we're not supposed to guess. Why? Because you, as the writer, are in charge of making the story and explaining things to us.


One last thing is that you can't copy things from other people's fics, ie Agatha wanting to kill Oak. You can make the character want to kill Oak (but again, provide an excplanation as to WHY) but you can actually make direct, blatant references to Typhlogirl and PokéTalk, no matter how good it was or how much you want to.


Overall: pretty weak. This seems to have been written too quickly without any thought put into it, and the FanFiction Rules weren't even read prior to the writing/posting of the fic.
I suggest you try again- go read the rules and the Advise for Aspiring Authors Sticky, as well as a few five-star fics (and NOT scripted ones with ideas you can steal).

~Psychic