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The Fourth Hope (A Warriors/Pokemon Crossover)

wιɴтerвreezeѕrυle

dαrĸpαw ιѕɴ'т αмυѕed
Great chapter!
Thanks!


Needs caps. :D
Stupid Microsoft Word for not catching that! *throws computer at wall* I'll fix it.


It’s not really an error, but you used “though” too often imo. I don’t know; it just kinda disrupts the flow of the paragraphs.
Hmm... I'll keep that in mind as I continue to write.


Needs to be a period.
Once again, Microsoft Word failed me. I shall fix.


Yeah, I’ve wondered that myself, lol. :D And then she has a spasm...awesome. XD
Yeah... spasms are awesome.


MW, once again. Shalth fixeth.


I’d combine these into one sentence, as it’s redundant to mention that he’s in training to become a medicine cat twice in a row. But that’s really up to you. ^_^
I'm not going to change it, but thanks for pointing that out. I'll use a semicolon next time something like that happens.
Anyway, good job with illustrating how the Pokemon are adjusting to Clan life. I also like how Millie took on a Clan name. Keep up the good work! :)
Thanks! It's great to know that there are people that like my writing. Reviews are great for my experience.
 

AmericanPi

Write on
Hi Winter! Firstly, I apologize for the ridiculous lateness of this review. The whole family is moving to a new school district, so I've been VERY busy lately with helping my parents pack up. Unfortunately, I'll be quite busy during the next 2-3 weeks, so you may have to get used to later and shorter reviews from me. Sorry. :( But rest assured, once everything gets settled I'll post more in-depth replies. ;)

Overall, pretty decent first chapter. It did everything a First Chapter does - introducing the main characters, providing background on the Warrior Clans, setting the stage for the later action, etc. I especially like how Firestar appointed Graystripe, Stormfur, Brooknose and Silverwing to be the Pokecats' mentors. I also like how Brook and Millie took warrior names, because I kind of wanted them to take Warrior names in the books.

I found it quite interesting how you switched to First-Person POV, because the Prologue was Third-Person POV. That isn't that big of a deal, though, because the POV of a story almost never changes its quality. ;)

However, let me give you a bit of advice: It's okay to slow down your writing.

I understand that it's easy to feel like you have to post a new chapter once every week, once every two weeks, etc. Trust me, I've been in that rushing state before. But remember: No one's really pressuring you to get a chapter done in a certain amount of time. You are the story writer, so feel free to take as long as you want to polish up a chapter. Don't be afraid to even take several-month-long hiatuses from your fics if you feel you need a break. Readers are actually quite patient and understanding, especially if their patience and understanding is rewarded by a great chapter.

Also: I thought the plot was a bit rushed in the first chapter, with so much going on. Silverwing telling Darkpaw all about the Warrior clans sounded a bit like... an infodump, sorry about that. I don't mind it, because I know all about Warriors, but someone who doesn't know who Warriors is might get confused. I think the information would have been better presented if Darkpaw had asked a few questions for clarification.

Anyways, still a pretty decent first chapter, setting the stage for the upcoming action. I can't wait until Chapter 2. :D

~ Arti ;144;
 

wιɴтerвreezeѕrυle

dαrĸpαw ιѕɴ'т αмυѕed
Hi Winter! Firstly, I apologize for the ridiculous lateness of this review. The whole family is moving to a new school district, so I've been VERY busy lately with helping my parents pack up. Unfortunately, I'll be quite busy during the next 2-3 weeks, so you may have to get used to later and shorter reviews from me. Sorry. :( But rest assured, once everything gets settled I'll post more in-depth replies. ;)
Don't worry, I know how it is when someone moves, I moved four years ago. This is fine. Anyhow, I'm not going to be active in two weeks, for the fact that I'm going on Spring Break.

Overall, pretty decent first chapter. It did everything a First Chapter does - introducing the main characters, providing background on the Warrior Clans, setting the stage for the later action, etc. I especially like how Firestar appointed Graystripe, Stormfur, Brooknose and Silverwing to be the Pokecats' mentors. I also like how Brook and Millie took warrior names, because I kind of wanted them to take Warrior names in the books.
I felt as if Mille and Brook needed warrior names, because Brook is going to stay in ThunderClan, and Mille wants to fit in. Thanks for the other compliments.

I found it quite interesting how you switched to First-Person POV, because the Prologue was Third-Person POV. That isn't that big of a deal, though, because the POV of a story almost never changes its quality. ;)
I'm much better at writing in first person than third person, but I wanted the prologue to be in third person so it could be a bit easier to understand. If it had been in Firestar's POV, I might have revealed too much.

However, let me give you a bit of advice: It's okay to slow down your writing.
Slowing down my writing...my biggest foe. I'm learning, definately learning how to slow down my writing. I'm still in the process of slowing, because naturally I'm a fast person.

I understand that it's easy to feel like you have to post a new chapter once every week, once every two weeks, etc. Trust me, I've been in that rushing state before. But remember: No one's really pressuring you to get a chapter done in a certain amount of time. You are the story writer, so feel free to take as long as you want to polish up a chapter. Don't be afraid to even take several-month-long hiatuses from your fics if you feel you need a break. Readers are actually quite patient and understanding, especially if their patience and understanding is rewarded by a great chapter.
Yeah, I've realized that I can't make the deadline I set for myself. I have almost no free time at my house besides on the weekend, so writing an entire chapter would take a while. Thanks for understanding.

Also: I thought the plot was a bit rushed in the first chapter, with so much going on. Silverwing telling Darkpaw all about the Warrior clans sounded a bit like... an infodump, sorry about that. I don't mind it, because I know all about Warriors, but someone who doesn't know who Warriors is might get confused. I think the information would have been better presented if Darkpaw had asked a few questions for clarification.
Darkpaw is going to ask a whole lot of questions in the next chapter. The Pokemon were all very tired and confused, and Darkpaw is still trying to wrap his mind around the whole "new dimension" thing. He will ask Silverwing a lot of questions in the next chapter, like I said.

Anyways, still a pretty decent first chapter, setting the stage for the upcoming action. I can't wait until Chapter 2. :D

~ Arti ;144;
Thanks! I'm glad that people enjoy my writing.
Winter
 

wιɴтerвreezeѕrυle

dαrĸpαw ιѕɴ'т αмυѕed

wιɴтerвreezeѕrυle

dαrĸpαw ιѕɴ'т αмυѕed
Me too! I really like it. I have alredy recommended it to a few friends, too!

I guess that means you want to be on the PM list. Okay i'll add you.

I am sorry for the super long delay on the next chapter. I've decided to shorten my chapters, however, so I can get them up more quickly. As my English teacher says, "Quality, not quantity."

That said, I might be able to get chapter 2 up today.

EDIT: Well, I didn't get it up that day, but I'm getting it up today. Yay.

Çhåþ†êr ²
I guess I would have fallen asleep immediately, but there was something nagging at me. I guess the boys would have gotten over it quicker than I, but all of this was really confusing.

How many Pokemon go from living a normal life one second to having our names changed to things like “Fluffpaw” and “Greypaw?” Only four: Me, Claws, Grey, and Dusk—no, Me, Clawpaw, Greypaw, and Darkpaw.

What was StarClan? That was the first thing I wanted to know. They were the ones who had sent us here. When Silverwing told Darkpaw about the four Clans, I heard nothing about a StarClan. Who were they?

Why us? Why not some older group of Pokemon? We weren’t the highest of levels, and we weren’t the smartest Pokemon around. Why would some mysterious force send us here? Did we have some role to play in these cats lives?

Why didn’t the cats know about us? Come on, Pokemon were known about everywhere. Why not here? Was this some strange alternate universe where only animals lived and Pokemon was only just a myth?

I was also a bit concerned about us staying here. As far as I knew, there was no way we could get back to our home at the moment. The boys might have wanted to, but I had no intentions of staying here, and becoming a “warrior.” It sounded scary!

All of this was very, very stressing for me. I was used to a mostly peaceful life, except for…that thing that happened so long ago. I didn’t want to have to fight for my life every day of the week, have to hunt for myself! It seemed so hard, it seemed impossible!

I guess with all the things on my mind, I hadn’t noticed how tired I was. I tried to get as comfortable as possible with Lionpaw on my left and Greypaw on my right and let sleep overtake me.

The sunshine was the first thing I noticed about my dream. It was bright and cheery, almost like it was back home. The grass seemed greener than possible, there were flowers everywhere, and a stream flowed through the clearing I stood in. The clearing was surrounded by woods, but these woods seemed inviting, not menacing like the woods in which ThunderClan was located.

A butterfly fluttered past, right in front of my nose, and I sneezed. I started to chase the butterfly around the clearing until it floated over the stream. I stopped almost instantly, not wanting to fall into the water and get wet.

“Do you want to get the butterfly?” a cat mewed. This made me growl a little. I didn’t want any intruders in my dreams! I turned to see a sleek-looking tom standing at the edge of the clearing. His pelt was a dark brown in color, and it had black stripes covering it. The tom’s eyes were icy blue.

“Yeah, but it’s over the river! I can’t swim-- it’s not natural for cat Pokemon!” I exclaimed.

The tom tilted his head as I explained my dilemma, and spoke, “Well, I can swim. Would you like me to teach you? My name’s Hawkfrost, by the way.” Hawkfrost padded past me, and dived into the water. I watched as he then slipped out on the other side of the clearing. After a moment, he swam back over.

“Wow! You could really teach me to do that?” I exclaimed. If I could swim, I’d be able to do anything! Okay, not anything, but how many Skittys get the chance to learn how to swim? None.

“Sure I would teach you. You could be great at anything if you tried,” Hawkfrost meowed. “I could even teach you how to be a warrior.”

I blinked with surprise. How had our conversation gone from talking about how to swim from being offered the chance to become a warrior? I spoke with confusion in my voice, “But this is just a dream, and Stormfur is my mentor—”

Hawkfrost hissed in anger, “Stormfur! That half-Clan foxdung! He should be banished from the lake and take his pathetic mountain mate with him!”

I was a bit scared at this outburst, and mewled quietly, “How do you know about Stormfur? You’re just a figment of my imagination that has appeared as a cat in my dream.”

Hawkfrost’s blinked in confusion, but he managed to say in a normal tone, “Stormfur is half-ThunderClan, half-RiverClan. And I know because I’m…a StarClan cat.”

“What?! You’re a StarClan cat?” I exclaimed. “Can you explain how I got here, to—well—wherever this is? And how are you speaking in my dream?”

Hawkfrost shook his head, “No, I can’t. I can speak in your dreams because StarClan has power. But I can teach you things, Fluffpaw. You could be a great warrior one day, maybe even a leader of a Clan. “

“But I don’t want to become a leader of a Clan! All I want to do is get home, get home and not have to fight for my life all day, every day!” I yowled. Was Hawkfrost trying to convince me to do something? I just met this cat! I barely trusted the Pokemon I’d basically lived around for my life, so how in Arceuses name could I trust a cat who was speaking to me in a dream? I started to pad off into the woods, and I padded by Hawkfrost.

“Think about it Decat. If you were a leader of a Clan and you got sent back, you would be all powerful! No Twoleg would ever hurt you ever again,” Hawkfrost spoke, an edge on his voice. “Let me train you, and you would never have to be afraid. Never again.”

Hawkfrost’s words made me stop. I…could be powerful? If I was powerful, not only would be able to make sure that Pinwheel Forest was safe for my “family,” but I could find the one who caused me so much pain…and make sure he never hurt a Pokemon again. I looked at Hawkfrost, “Alright—”

“STOP!” a gruff sounding voice yowled. A scraggly-looking she-cat leaped into the clearing, and she stared at me with amber eyes, amber eyes that seemed to be filled with pain.

Hawkfrost stiffened, and glared at the she-cat. He then growled, “What are you doing here, Yellowfang?”

“I should ask the same thing, Dark Forest crowfood! This is StarClan territory!” Yellowfang snarled. She unsheathed her claws, and looked like she was about to attack.

“This clearing is on the border, Yellowfang. I have as much right to be here as you do,” Hawkfrost meowed coldly.

“You aren’t on your side of the border. That gives me as much of a right to attack you as if you padded straight onto StarClan territory,” Yellowfang growled. “Get back to your territory.”

The she-cat than flicked her tail at the other side of the river, and as I looked over it, I gasped. The forest was no longer beautiful and green. It was brown and dark, and it smelled like a dying Pokemon. I turned my head to look at the side I was still standing on. It was still beautiful and green.

“Um, excuse me…Miss Yellowfang?” I meowed.

Yellowfang turned to face me, and she looked as if she had just noticed me. She responded, “What do you want?”

“What’s the Dark Forest?” I asked, curiosity lining my voice.

Yellowfang started to meow something, but before I could make any sense of it, Hawkfrost snarled, “Tell her one thing and you’re dead, foxdung.”

“Empty words from you—I’m already dead,” Yellowfang hissed.

I was beginning to get scared now. Hawkfrost now had unsheathed his claws. I started to back away, because I knew this could only end in one way—a fight. I could tell by the looks in both cats’ eyes that they wanted to shred each other. I wanted to wake up from this dream—no, this nightmare—right now.



“Fluffpaw! Get your arceusdamn butt up!” Greypaw yowled. Almost instantly, I was pulled from my dream into reality. The sun was shining brightly into the hollow, and I blinked my eyes, trying to get adjusted to the light.

“Really Greypaw, really? Don’t swear in front of our hosts,” Darkpaw mewed, sounding annoyed.

I looked around, and saw that most of the apprentices were either gone, or sleeping. Clawpaw was also gone. I turned, and asked Darkpaw, “Where’s Clawpaw?”

Before Darkpaw could respond, Greypaw interrupted, “He had to go on some sort of border patrol. Greystripe damn woke me up getting Clawpaw and a few other apprentices. The sun was just rising. I was tired as hell.”

“I’m serious Greypaw. Stop cursing,” Darkpaw hissed.

“Fine, fine,” Greypaw meowed, sarcasm hinted in his voice. He rolled his eyes, and padded out of the den.

“Hey Fluffpaw, don’t get down. Greypaw gets mad, at like, everyone,” Darkpaw meowed.

“I. Know. I’ve lived with you guys forever!” I growled. I padded out of the den and stopped in front of another den. The scents that were coming from it were all mixed, but I could faintly smell Brakenfur. This must have been the den where the mentors slept.

Just like that, almost as if I had called him, Stormfur padded out of the den, yawning. He saw me, and nodded. He meowed, “Hey, Fluffpaw. Ready to do some training?”

“Oh, Arceus no!” I exclaimed worriedly. I wanted to get used to whatever this was, not go and learn how to fight for my life!

Seeing that Stormfur was confused, I explained, “Why do I have to become a warrior? It seems really hard! Anyhow, all I got last night was a brief explanation that I overheard in a conversation. How am I supposed to know all of this instantly? It’s confusing!”

Stormfur looked at me, with understanding in his eyes. He padded next to me and sat down. He turned and spoke, “I guess this would be confusing for you. Come with me, and I’ll answer any questions you have.” He got up.

I was a little scared at first—what if he was trying to lure me into a deadly trap?—but I decided to follow him. Stormfur seemed like a nice cat, much nicer than those other cats. Was it because he was not entirely ThunderClan? I remembered what Hawkfrost had said about him being half-RiverClan. Was this the reason for his friendliness?

Stormfur had already gotten up and was walking up the walls of the hollow, so I quickly followed. I didn’t want to seem lazy; I wanted to make a great first impression on this cat. If he was going to be my “mentor” (for who knows how long?) I would need to show that I wasn’t the timid Skitty that I actually was.

That would be fun.

We finally stopped when we were somewhere in the woods. I looked around, but the place wasn’t familiar. I then asked timidly, “Where are we?”

“We’re at the ThunderClan-WindClan border,” Stormfur explained. He flicked his tail at a clearing that was a few trees away, and I saw that it was open moorland. Even though this forest didn’t appeal to me, it sure was better than that! Open moorland was just so…open! How could I ever hide from anything there?

“So, what are your questions?” Stormfur asked.

“Why do I have to be a warrior apprentice? I don’t want to insult you Stormfur, you seem like a great cat and you seem like you would be a great mentor, but I can’t see myself fighting for my life all day! I hate fighting!” I exclaimed.

“Fluffpaw, I really don’t see how you could become a medicine cat apprentice,” Stormfur mewed. “Jaypaw is already Leafpool’s apprentice, and I’ve certainly never heard of a medicine cat with two apprentices. Anyhow, being a warrior isn’t all about fighting—”

“Medicine cat apprentice? What’s that?” I asked, interrupting Stormfur.

Stormfur sighed, and meowed with annoyance, “A medicine cat is a cat that doesn’t take fight, but instead heals. They collect herbs, and make sure that cats don’t get severely sick. If a cat does get sick, the medicine cat tries his—or her—hardest to heal them. A medicine cat can have one apprentice, and the apprentice is an apprentice until either the original medicine cat retires, or dies.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! That was way too much! Slow down, Stormfur!” I cried. How was I supposed to comprehend all of that so quickly?

“Fluffpaw, that was as simple as I could make it. You want a summary? I’ll give you one. Medicine cats take care of the Clan. They only have one apprentice. The apprentice stays an apprentice until the mentor dies or retires,” Stormfur said with an edge to his voice. He was twitching his tail, and he looked annoyed.

“But why can’t there be two apprentices? Don’t you want more than two cats that can care for a Clan?” I growled softly.

“A Clan also needs strong warriors that can defend it! Fluffpaw, stop questioning me! These have been the Clan’s traditions ever since before even Blackstar was born! Why can’t you just accept that?” Stormfur yowled.

I had no idea who Blackstar was, but before I could ask--

“ThunderClan drama? Figures,” a voice from the other side of the border mewed.

END OF CHAPTER 2

Authors Notes: Yep. The shortest chapter… EVER. (Okay, not the shortest chapter ever, but you get what I mean.) I realized that I was trying to fit too much into one chapter at once. If you guys think I should go back to writing longer chapters, that’s fine by me, but it’ll take a lot longer. Anyhow, as my English teacher says, “Quality, not Quantity.”

Anyhow, this chapter was still pretty short and it left a heck of a cliffhanger. At least, in my opinion. So…no idea when the next chapter will be up, but it will probably be up soon.

Also, for those nonWarrior reading readers out there, more about the Clans will be revealed in the next two chapters.

Important events

*Fluffpaw falls asleep and goes to the StarClan-Dark Forest border.
*Hawkfrost tries to convince Fluffpaw to join the Dark Forest.
*Fluffpaw and Stormfur go out, and get into an argument.
*A WindClan patrol overhears Fluffpaw and Stormfur’s argument.
 
Last edited:

ninetails012

teh wild card
hmmmm, great chapter! besides the obvious fail you know i did earlier, I found no errors! keep up the awesome work!
 

AmericanPi

Write on
Hi Winter! I know, this review is really delayed, but whatever. I really liked Chapter 2 - much better than Chapter 1, IMO. It really characterized Fluffpaw well, and now it's easy for me to picture her as a jumpy, playful, a childish kitten who really doesn't like to fight. Great job. :)

About the chapter lengths - really, I don't mind the "shortness" at all. In fact, Chapter 2 is longer than my longest chapter, haha. I'm glad that in Chapter 2 you focused on quality rather than quantity; it gave the chapter a lot more substance.

About the events in the chapter, they certainly were very interesting. The dream Fluffpaw had was a nice surprise. So Fluffpaw meets Hawkfrost? YIKES! Considering how evil Hawkfrost is, I'm a little bit scared - I'm also wondering what kind of cat Fluffpaw will be..

I also liked Fluffpaw's reluctance to be a warrior, because that characterizes the Skitty well and foreshadows the plot of the story. What will Fluffpaw become, a warrior or a medicine cat? I can't wait to find out... I also LOVED your cliffhanger. Who is that WindClan cat, and what will happen to Fluffpaw and Stormfur? Dun dun dun...

The only thing I can point out is, Fluffpaw got kind of irritating during a few instances in this chapter. Especially in the beginning, when she asked herself so many questions. I know the questions characterize Fluffpaw, but admittedly it was kind of annoying to read through so many childish questions. I think the beginning would have been nicer if Fluffpaw had asked herself a little less questions. Other than that, amazing chapter. It was a great improvement from the first chapter.

<><><>

I'm really sorry to say that this review may be my last - as you can see in my signature, I'm leaving Serebii. I don't know how to say this... it's just that now I find Fan Art to be a lot funner to make and appreciate than Fan Fiction, so from now on I'll mostly be on deviantART. I'm really sorry about this, but I'm taking an indefinitely long break from anything related to Fan Fiction. :(

I hope you can understand. Because of this, I'd like to be removed from the PM list. It's not that I don't like your fanfic, it's that I like fan art a lot more now.

Goodbye... :'(

~Arti ;144;
 

wιɴтerвreezeѕrυle

dαrĸpαw ιѕɴ'т αмυѕed
Hi Winter! I know, this review is really delayed, but whatever. I really liked Chapter 2 - much better than Chapter 1, IMO. It really characterized Fluffpaw well, and now it's easy for me to picture her as a jumpy, playful, a childish kitten who really doesn't like to fight. Great job. :)
Woo! I'm glad that this chapter was better than the last one- in my opoinoin, (spelling DX) it was too.

About the chapter lengths - really, I don't mind the "shortness" at all. In fact, Chapter 2 is longer than my longest chapter, haha. I'm glad that in Chapter 2 you focused on quality rather than quantity; it gave the chapter a lot more substance.
Yeah. I've really decided to focus my work on quality, not quantity.

About the events in the chapter, they certainly were very interesting. The dream Fluffpaw had was a nice surprise. So Fluffpaw meets Hawkfrost? YIKES! Considering how evil Hawkfrost is, I'm a little bit scared - I'm also wondering what kind of cat Fluffpaw will be..
Ahh, Hawkfrost. Now that I know what he did to Hollyleaf in TLH, I absolutely hate him. I want to rip his throat out and stomp it into the ground. So you can only understand that he's going to become much, much more evil. Dun dun dun dun.

I also liked Fluffpaw's reluctance to be a warrior, because that characterizes the Skitty well and foreshadows the plot of the story. What will Fluffpaw become, a warrior or a medicine cat? I can't wait to find out... I also LOVED your cliffhanger. Who is that WindClan cat, and what will happen to Fluffpaw and Stormfur? Dun dun dun...
Oh my, you'll be surprised about who the WindClan cat is. And what they're doing there. :3

The only thing I can point out is, Fluffpaw got kind of irritating during a few instances in this chapter. Especially in the beginning, when she asked herself so many questions. I know the questions characterize Fluffpaw, but admittedly it was kind of annoying to read through so many childish questions. I think the beginning would have been nicer if Fluffpaw had asked herself a little less questions. Other than that, amazing chapter. It was a great improvement from the first chapter.
That's one of the things about Fluffpaw- she's childish. I admit there is a LOT of questions, but I really was having difficulty starting this chapter, and that's the best thing I could come up with. And thanks again for the compliment.

<><><>

I'm really sorry to say that this review may be my last - as you can see in my signature, I'm leaving Serebii. I don't know how to say this... it's just that now I find Fan Art to be a lot funner to make and appreciate than Fan Fiction, so from now on I'll mostly be on deviantART. I'm really sorry about this, but I'm taking an indefinitely long break from anything related to Fan Fiction. :(
You're leaving? 3: I'm going to miss you. A lot.

I hope you can understand. Because of this, I'd like to be removed from the PM list. It's not that I don't like your fanfic, it's that I like fan art a lot more now.

Goodbye... :'(

~Arti ;144;

That's okay, I understand completely. Consider yourself removed. Bye. 3':
 

wιɴтerвreezeѕrυle

dαrĸpαw ιѕɴ'т αмυѕed
Sorry about the double post, but I finished Chapter Three! It's not my best work, but here we go...

Çhåþ†êr ³

I hissed at Darkpaw. After Fluffpaw left, I padded back into the den. I needed to know what in the great name of Arceus I needed to do.

“Just go find your mentor,” Darkpaw mewed, tired. “And get out.”

“I don’t know where the heck my mentor is!” I yowled back. “If I could find Brooknose, I’d gladly get out!”

It was just Darkpaw, Lionpaw, and I in the den. Mousepaw looked up at me tiredly, and asked, “Why don’t you go find Brooknose? She’ll be in the warriors den.” He had obviously not heard what Darkpaw and I had just argued shortly about.

“But—but!” I stammered. I hated being shown up by some cat, but he had a point. I hissed at the two apprentices, and padded out of the den.

Turns out that Brooknose was waiting for me outside the den. That cat! Couldn’t she have ducked her head in and told me that she was there? She seemed like she had no idea what had just gone on in the den.

“Hi Graypaw!” she mewed cheerfully.

“Hello,” I mewed, annoyance lining my voice.

“Who made dirt in your fresh kill?” Brooknose muttered quietly. She then turned and looked at me with a sterner look on her face. “We’re doing some battle training today.”

“Battle training, eh? What kind of training? Are we gonna focus on attacks that go on the offensive? Or are we gonna work on the defensive?” I asked, licking my paw, hardly paying attention.

“We are just training today. I, and the rest of the Clan, have no idea of your battle capabilities. None,” Brooknose explained. “Anyhow, I have only recently joined this Clan, and where I used to live, I only hunted. In reality, we will both be the ones who are training."

“Whatever, Brooknose,” I meowed. “Let’s go have a fight.”

The she-cat sighed, and padded to one of the walls of the hollow. She began to scale it, and I quickly followed. Once we got to the top, Brooknose looked around quickly, as if looking for someone.

“Hmm…this is odd. The dawn border patrol should have been back by now,” Brooknose muttered.

“Why don’t we go look for them, then?” I asked sarcastically. I was thinking that this she-cat needed to chillax. She was probably getting her fur ruffled over nothing.

However, Brooknose didn’t seem to notice the sarcasm in my voice. Her eyes gleamed with determination. She meowed seriously, “You are right. We need to find them.”

The idiot then raced off into the direction of, what I guess, was the border. I chased after her, yowling, “Hey! I was being sarcastic! Lighten up!”

I ran after her for a while. Really, everything looked the same to me, just a bunch of trees everywhere, dirt on the ground, sometimes with grass underpaw, and the occasional rock.

We finally stopped once we reached a clearing. The clearing had pine forest on the other side of it, which I thought was more ThunderClan territory. However, Brooknose stopped and hissed under her breath, “ShadowClan scum! They are attacking!”

Seeing the scene before me, I couldn’t help but blink in shock. There was a battle happening right now, right in front of Brooknose and myself. I saw Clawpaw and Greystripe fighting a russet colored she-cat while Berrypaw helped. There were more ThunderClan cats I didn’t know yet fighting other cats. Brooknose looked at me, and meowed, “Stay back! I’m going to go get Clawpaw!”

“No way! I’m gonna—” I started to meow, but before I could do anything, I saw Brooknose leap into the mass of fighting cats. Soon after, she dragged Clawpaw out of the fight by the scruff. He looked tired and he was covered in scratches. She set him down and asked us, “Do you know how to get back to ThunderClan territory?”

I shook my head, not knowing, but Clawpaw nodded, “Yeah.”

“Clawpaw, you need medical attention! Can you get back to ThunderClan territory by yourself? Or would you need help?” Brooknose asked.

“I think Graypaw should come with me,” Clawpaw meowed seriously. “I don’t know if I could make it all the way.”

Brooknose nodded. She muttered something under her breath that sounded like, “Please watch over me, Tribe of Endless Hunting.” I had no idea what the hell that was. She then gulped and threw herself into the battle.

* * *

“How’d you remember the way back here? Most of the time, apprentices that even grew up here get lost,” Jaypaw meowed. He had grabbed some herbs and had applied them to Clawpaw’s wounds. Now we were all sitting in the Medicine Cat den. Leafpool was out.

“Well, I have a photographic memory,” Clawpaw meowed. “And a—”

Before he could finish, Jaypaw interrupted, “Photographic memory? What’s a photographic memory?”

“You don’t know?” I asked, stunned. These cats must be really, really stupid if they couldn’t at least use the clues in the phrase to figure out what it meant.

“Well, Jaypaw, a cat with a photographic memory remembers everything that he sees and hears,” Clawpaw explained.

“Really? I’ve never heard of that before,” Jaypaw muttered. “So, many moons from now, you’ll remember our exact conversation, word for word?”

“Yup,” Clawpaw meowed plainly.

I yawned, bored, and asked no cat in particular, “Who would want to be a medicine cat? It’s such a boring job!”

Jaypaw narrowed his blind eyes at me, and hissed, “Do you really think I wanted to do this? No way in StarClan! But some cat told me that because I was so useless and blind I could never become a warrior! So now I’m stuck being a stupid medicine cat! Because of my destiny!”

“’Stupid medicine cat’? Jaypaw, is that how you really think of me?” a quiet voice asked. I looked as a light brown tabby padded into the room. She also had a white underbelly and white paws. Her eyes were an amber color. She had been holding some huge green leaves, and had put them down when she had padded in.

“L-Leafpool! I didn’t expect you to be back so early from herb-hunting!” Jaypaw stammered.

Leafpool sighed. She finally noticed that Clawpaw and I were in her den, and asked, “What are they doing here?”

“Clawpaw got hurt, so Graypaw brought him here!” Jaypaw meowed, trying to get off of the topic.

Leafpool sighed, and turned towards me. She meowed, “Graypaw, go and wait outside. I’ll take care of your brother.”

Before I could do anything, the she-cat nudged me outside.

I was about to yowl something in retaliation, when I realized something.

She thinks that we’re brothers! We aren’t! We don’t even look alike! I thought to myself. Sure, we were like kin, but we weren’t blood-related! We weren’t even the same type of Pokemon!I sighed, and padded over to the apprentice’s den. It was empty. I walked inside and sat down, waiting.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Change of POV to Darkpaw*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After everyone had finally left, and it was just I in the den, I was bored. I looked around at the den, but there wasn’t really anything interesting in it, just a bunch of nests.

I wondered if I should go and try to find Silverwing. After all, she was my mentor, and I was bored. I guessed that when apprentices were bored they would find their mentors and they would train.

I padded out of the den and saw Silverwing standing near the Warriors Den. She tapped her paw impatiently, and had a worried look on her face.

“Hi Silverwing!” I cried out cheerfully, walking up to my mentor. “How are you doing?”

Silverwing looked at me for a second, her expression unreadable. She then turned her head so she was looking out of the hollow, to the west.

“I’m worried. The dawn patrol has been gone for a long time,” she muttered. She looked at me again and meowed, “We’re going hunting today.”

“Hunting?” I asked quietly.

Damn it. I hate hunting.

“Yeah,” Silverwing meowed. “Let’s go.”

The silver she-cat and I left the hollow. We walked quietly through the forest. Suddenly, Silverwing stopped. She looked at me, and asked, “Do you smell prey?”

I turned my head up and sniffed the air. A scent similar to that of a Ratata’s was in the area. I had heard of mice, the close cousins of Ratata. This must have been what I smelled. I mean, I knew what mouse smelled like, but I had only seen them in books. I had never seen—or smelled—one before in real life.

“I think I smell mouse,” I replied.

“Then catch it.”

I focused in on the scent, let it fill my mind. I quietly followed the scent until I came upon the creature. It had a berry in its little hands and was eating it quickly. I crept into the shadows of the trees near it.

It froze. Suddenly, it dropped the berry. I leapt onto it and quickly dealt out a Fury Swipes attack. It died almost instantly as my claws cut into its neck. It had been paralyzed.

That was odd indeed. I didn’t know any Pokemon moves that paralyzed any Pokemon. Why had the mouse paused?

Silverwing padded up to me and blinked. She asked curiously, “What was that?”

“What was what?” I asked back.

“Well, you just seemed to move so fast and so sneakily. I’ve never seen a cat so stealth-like in the shadows before. How did you do it?” she meowed. I think it was just me, but I almost heard…hostility in her voice.

“I don’t know,” I muttered. “It was luck.”

You’re different, Darkpaw. Different in more ways than you know, A voice muttered. I looked around, but I saw nothing speaking.

You cannot see me now. I am Rock. Leave camp tonight. I shall explain.
The voice vanished with that.

Silverwing tilted her head and asked, “What are you looking for, Darkpaw?”

“Oh! Nothing!” I hastily meowed.

Silverwing narrowed her eyes, but kept silent. She meowed without tone, “Well, now that I know of your hunting skills, we should report back to Firestar.”

I didn’t understand her sudden hostility, but I hastily meowed, “Okay!” I picked up the dead mouse in my jaws and waited.

Silverwing walked off. I followed her.

* * *

When we got back to camp, I saw Graypaw. He was walking out of the medicine cat’s den. He padded into the apprentices den.

I put the prey down in the pile of assorted mice, squirrel, and vole. I was about to go join my brother, when Silverwing walked in front of me.

“We need to tell Firestar about your skills. Remember?” she asked.

“Right,” I meowed. “Can’t I catch up with my friend first, though?”

“No.”

I blinked. Silverwing didn’t seem like the type to be so…cold. She seemed happy enough last night, but now she seemed sort of…negative.

Suddenly, a voice echoed into the hollow, “We’re okay!”

I blinked as I saw Greystripe and a few other cats leap into the hollow. They certainly didn’t look okay. They were covered from head to paw in scratches. Berrypaw, who was with them, had a particularly nasty scratch going down his flank.

“Oh, MY STARS! BERRYPAW!” a voice shrieked. I turned and saw the scared she-cat from when I had first came rush up to Berrypaw.

“Oh, Berrypaw! I’ll make sure you’ll never get hurt again!” the she-cat started cleaning Berrypaw’s head.

“Daisy!” a sharp sounding voice called out. I turned and saw Brambleclaw walk up to the young tom. Brambleclaw had been in the battle as well, but did not have as many scratches as Berrypaw.

“Brambleclaw! How could you let my baby get hurt!?” Daisy shrieked, shaking.

“What am I? Mousedung?” a voice muttered angrily. I turned and saw Hazelpaw as the speaker. She stomped off to the apprentice’s den.

“Daisy…” Brambleclaw sighed. “You know that Berrypaw is going to get hurt sometimes.”

“There’s a hurt cat?” a white-and-brown tabby she-cat asked, as she padded out of a den.

“Well, a lot of us are hurt, but Berrypaw is the worst. Then again, he did give Russetfur a scratch she’ll soon not forget!” Brambleclaw meowed amusedly.

Daisy fainted.

The she-cat sighed, and meowed, “I’ll take care of you guys. Come on!” She led the injured cats into the den. One of them, Lionpaw, dragged Daisy in by the scruff.

“What was the commotion about?” Firestar asked. He must have walked out of his den while everything was happening.

Silverwing walked up to Firestar and yawned. She meowed, “Darkpaw is a very good hunter. See?”

She walked back to the fresh-kill pile and picked up my mouse. She dropped it at Firestar’s feet.

“He caught that. On his first try.”

Firestar blinked with surprise. He looked at me, head tilted. He murmured something I couldn’t understand under his breath.

“Come with me, Darkpaw,” he meowed.

I blinked, but followed him into his den.

The den was spacious and comfy looking. Soft moss lined it. “Take a seat,” Firestar meowed.

I sat.

“Darkpaw, I need to talk to you about something very important. What I say does not leave this den,” Firestar meowed sternly.

Confused, I nodded.

“How did you do it?” he asked.

“Well…I don’t know. The mouse just seemed to freeze. It dropped the berry it was holding and went all rigid,” I admitted.

“It froze?” Firestar asked curiously. “Just like that?”

“I guess,” I muttered.

Firestar closed his eyes, and sighed. He then opened them and looked at me.

“Darkpaw, you are part of a prophecy.”

“Wha-what? I’m just a normal Purrloin!” I stammered. Firestar seemed unfazed about my saying of Purrloin. Maybe he didn’t notice or something.

“Darkpaw, you and your friends are our only hope. Against what, I don’t know.”

“Wha—but—how?”

“Long ago, I received an omen from a cat called Cloudstar. ‘There will be three, kin of your kin, who hold the power of the stars in their paws.’ I suspected that Hollypaw, Jaypaw, and Lionpaw were the cats in the prophecy.

“However, a moon before you arrived; I was given a sign from a cat that showed me you four. That you were the true three—no, the true four. And as I left, I heard a voice in my head say this: ‘Four will come, four who are strangers to your world. They hold the power of the stars in their paws.’ It was similar to the one I had received before, but it talked about four strangers,” Firestar explained.

“But…why? Why us?” I asked.

This was very confusing. Firestar had suddenly pulled me into his den to tell me that I was going to save their world. With Clawpaw, Graypaw, and Fluffpaw.

Why the bloody stars would…well, whoever picks people for prophecies pick us?

“I don’t know. But from what I understand, you each will have powers. Not your normal Pokemon powers—“

“WHAT?!” I meowed loudly. “You know about Pokemon?”

“Yes.”

“…okay then.”

“Now listen, Darkpaw. StarClan might have been mistaken in sending you. So unless we can actually determine if you are really the ones in the prophecy, you must not tell anyone. Not even your friends. The reason I’m telling you all this now, and not when you’ve actually stayed with us for a while, is well—“

“Is it because I froze that mouse?”

“Yes. Darkpaw, you can leave now,” Firestar meowed.

I walked out of the den.

“What did he want?” Graypaw asked as he walked up to me.

“Nothing,” I meowed as I walked towards the apprentices den. “Nothing at all.”
 
Last edited:

Wyrm

~Setting Sail~
Cripe, I completely forgot about this. *shakes head* But anyways... I see you've been improving. "Quality, not quantity" seems to be a good quote for beginners. Now, for the errors...

“Who made dirt in your freshkill?”

Should be "fresh kill".

“Hello,” I mewed, annoyance lining my voice

Missing a period.

A could've sworn there was another error, but I can't see it at the moment. Hm. *looks for it after posting*

Your fic is starting to travel upwards at this point. Not only is your spelling and grammar decent, but the plot has already begun to unravel. And then there's the tension of keeping the prophecy a secret, the good old kitty conflicts, and even balance between comedy and seriousness. Plus a swearing Graypaw.

You're heading in the right direction, Winter. Keep up the steady work, and I'll try to keep proper track of this. ;P

[/HASTY REVIEW]
 

wιɴтerвreezeѕrυle

dαrĸpαw ιѕɴ'т αмυѕed
Cripe, I completely forgot about this. *shakes head* But anyways... I see you've been improving. "Quality, not quantity" seems to be a good quote for beginners. Now, for the errors...

Aww, that's okay, Wyrm. I haven't updated this in a while. And yes, I feel as if my writing has been getting better. *prepares self for errors and such*



Should be "fresh kill".



Missing a period.

Consider the errors fixed.

A could've sworn there was another error, but I can't see it at the moment. Hm. *looks for it after posting*

You go ahead and keep looking. I'm fine with it.

Your fic is starting to travel upwards at this point. Not only is your spelling and grammar decent, but the plot has already begun to unravel. And then there's the tension of keeping the prophecy a secret, the good old kitty conflicts, and even balance between comedy and seriousness. Plus a swearing Graypaw.

You're heading in the right direction, Winter. Keep up the steady work, and I'll try to keep proper track of this. ;P

[/HASTY REVIEW]

Yes, the swearing Graypaw. He is going to add a lot of spice to the story. You won't believe what Darkpaw will have to go through to keep it a secret. The comedy/seriousness is to make sure that it isn't that the tale doesn't get too intense but yet still has a feel of seriousness to it.

Thanks! And mind you, once school get s out I will have a lot more free time. More free time means more story.

[/THAT'S OKAY. HASTY REPLY]
 

leafstormfire

~Freezing Winds~
WINTER!! Your obsession with Warriors is really spreading. =) Can you add me to the PM list?

I really like your style of writing: suspenseful and well-paced. I can't wait to see how the four develop throughout the story...keep me on the edge of my seat, please!
 

wιɴтerвreezeѕrυle

dαrĸpαw ιѕɴ'т αмυѕed
WINTER!! Your obsession with Warriors is really spreading. =) Can you add me to the PM list?

I really like your style of writing: suspenseful and well-paced. I can't wait to see how the four develop throughout the story...keep me on the edge of my seat, please!

Added! And don't worry, I have plenty of plot twists in mind that will keep my readers on the edge of their seats.
 
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