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The Gangs of London (NC-17)

Discussion in 'Shipping Fics' started by CuteDrew667, May 15, 2007.

  1. CuteDrew667

    CuteDrew667 Boo Darlin <3

    oooh, my first full on NC-17 overall fan fiction. *claps as tumbleweed rolls past* This story is going to be set in London (England) throughout, apart from if I decide to take it to America in a backflash at some point ^^

    In later chapters there will be scenes of a sexual nature, violence, death, distress and other things that make this rating so there is your warning

    My crappy little poster for Gangs of London (I made this on Paint, because my Paint Shop Pro wasn't working):

    Poster for Gangs of London

    As you can probably tell from this picture (although May has yet to come into the story), the Gang of London consists of Paul and Drew, Dawn being involved. May...isn't. That's all ya getting lol

    Also...as seen in my signature, but here is the full pic, a feel of Dawn and May's characters

    http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h26/Drew_May667/PokemonBattleFrontier-36-Channeling.jpg

    http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h26/Drew_May667/PokemonBattleFrontier-36-Channel-1.jpg

    There you have it, what I have made for Gangs of London so far...

    Aaaanyways, here is the Prologue of Gangs of London. 3 pages on Works Processor, so it is short and a kind of introduction. To the goings on basically lol. I know that some of the characters seem OoC but that is only to stay faithful to their personalities in this story.

    There are going to be a range of ships in the story so I can't really say what the story is flat out. The only ship in the prologue is Ikarishipping, Drew/Dawn if you insist lol. Drew and Paul are cousins in case anyone wonders lol

    Rated R for a small rape reference, language, gun control, threat with a weapon, murder. However, the fic overall is rated NC-17 to be safe. But don't mistake it for some awful story of nothing but abbuse, it just starts off with the daunting realism of everything

    This is my fave picture for Gangs of London, though it doesn't show that May is in it, but ma bestie Sophie helped me so tis the best :D


    [​IMG]

    Gangs of London

    Prologue



    ‘Dawn, you breath a word and I’ll…’ the man trailed off as he pinned his girlfriend against the wall tightly.

    The small, sixteen-year-old girl said nothing, her eyes not moving from the body on the floor.

    ‘You aren’t scared of me, are you?’ Paul whispered, loosening his grip on her throat.

    ‘No…,’ she whimpered, bringing her blank, emotional eyes up to his.

    ‘She better not say anything,’ grunted another male darkly.

    ‘She won’t…will you love?’ Paul said in a new-found soft tone, brushing a strand of dark, blue hair from Dawn’s teary cheek.

    ‘Don’t touch me,’ she whispered, not trusting herself to allow him to do so, for his touch sent her mind sky-high.

    She chanced a look at the bloody body on the floor and flinched. She was never meant to see that. Paul had been so careful to make sure she was at school when he did it…but she’d followed him. Seen one of her classmates get shot…

    ‘Let’s go babe, Drew you gonna’ clean this up?’

    ‘Bollocks,’ the other male snapped, putting his hood up and stowing a gun into his pocket, his eyes glaring at them threateningly.

    ‘No!’ Dawn cried, finding her voice at last.

    She wrenched herself away from Paul and started to run away from them, her speed slowed by the high heels on her shoes. Her friend was dead. Kengo was dead. Killed by the man she loved with all her heart…well...killed by his cousin. She just couldn’t handle it.

    ‘That little bitch is going to the police!’ Drew yelled at Paul furiously.

    ‘She wouldn’t do that, DREW WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!’ Paul asked in horror as his cousin started to sprint after Dawn.

    ‘I am going to stop her, have a little chat.’

    ‘Don’t you touch her!’ Paul said, his anxiety was for the gun in Drew’s jacket pocket and the knife in his jeans, ‘she isn’t involved.’

    ‘Yes she is, she’s in it deep,’ Drew hissed with a smirk, ‘just as long as she promises to keep her little school-girl mouth shut, she’ll be fine.’

    Before Paul could say another word, Drew began to run again, following the sound of Dawn’s clicking, fast footsteps. As he drew closer to her, he could hear her panting, tearful breaths.

    ‘Woah, woah, woah,’ Drew said, catching up with her and grabbing her arm, his strength bringing her to an instant halt.

    ‘Get off you murderer!’ she screamed, making useless attempts to break free from his grasp.

    ‘That is just the kind of talk I don’t like to hear,’ he hissed, pushing Dawn against the wall and moving closer to her so that their noses were almost touching, ‘would you be willing to send your boyfriend and I to jail? Would you little girl?’

    ‘No Drew! I’m sorry,’ Dawn whimpered, knowing without looking that the pocket containing his immensely powerful handgun was open, revealing the horrific realism of the situation, ‘I didn’t mean to see.’

    ‘For some reason I don’t believe you, and neither does this either,’ Drew whispered, pulling a knife from his pocket and pressing the side against her throat.

    ‘Please,’ Dawn sobbed, fearing for her life, ‘Drew I promise I won’t tell anyone. I love Paul too much to do that, and I care about you too!’

    ‘Bullshit,’ Drew snapped, pressing the knife harder to her neck and watching as tears trickled down her cheeks, ‘I am not going to jail because of you. Not for some pathetic little child!’

    ‘I…I’m begging you,’ Dawn pleaded, putting her hand over his left one, which was on her shoulder, ‘I won’t tell anyone. I swear.’

    Dawn clenched her eyes shut and awaited the worst. The cold blade was so terrifying against her skin that she could barely breathe. Drew’s hot breath was caressing Dawn's face, making her shiver.

    ‘Open your eyes,’ Drew’s cold tone made Dawn’s eyes snap open.

    She realised that Drew’s tight grip on her shoulder had vanished and the cold metal from her throat also. She lifted her trembling hands to her throat as though believing it was an hallucination. Drew was slipping the blade back into his pocket as Dawn started to cry again.

    ‘I’m telling you now girl, keep your mouth shut!’

    ‘I will,’ Dawn hiccoughed.

    With that she fainted, toppling to the floor in a mix shock and distress. Drew stared at her motionless figure without a word or reaction, pondering on whether to leave her there. He thought about the men that came through these allies and scanned her school shirt and short, black skirt. Though he could kill, he despised rapists and couldn’t bring himself to leave her to an inevitable fate if she was. Also, he didn’t want his cousin obsessing over her and probably doing something stupid.

    Drew leant down and pulled one of Dawn’s arms, lifting her body from the ground and turning towards the direction that Paul was in. Dawn’s head lolled against his shoulder as he walked briskly to the abandoned car park where Paul was waiting.

    ‘Oh God,’ Paul’s eyes grew wide as he saw Drew, carrying an appearing-lifeless Dawn in his arms, ‘tell me you didn’t.’

    ‘I didn’t,’ Drew snapped, laying Dawn on the ground in front of Paul, ‘she blacked out, but I am pretty sure she won’t say anything. Be sure that I remain convinced.’

    With that, Drew swept away from them, leaving a stressed Paul with his unconscious girlfriend.

    ‘Oh and Paul,’ Drew called over his shoulder, ‘get rid of the evidence, thank you.’


    ************

    Well there we have it. I know that some people will not like the way I portrayed Drew but that is how he is, so please don't insult my story because of that. Drew will not be like that throughout, so don't worry sweet-Drew-fans lol.

    Although it is a controversial Poke fan fic, i hope you like it. PLease R&R

    ~CuteDrew667~

    Gangs of London PM List:

    honey_clover112
    HelloKitty17
    shadow_shipper
     
    Last edited: May 21, 2007
  2. HelloKitty17

    HelloKitty17 therocketsummer</3

    I like this! =D

    Paul and Drew are two of my favorite characters. Even though I loathe Dawn..anyways!

    I like your style of writing here it is the same from Hot Chocolate, maybe a bit more intense ;] I am a little confused, I guess I am slow catching on to these kind of stories, but I am sure with your next chapter I should catch the flow. I didn't see any mistakes or anything but the plot is original.

    Are there going to be any other characters that we know already in it?
     
  3. shadow_shipper

    shadow_shipper ...indeed...

    haha....sweet...this kind of work coming from you...gonna love this :D

    sweet...I hope this is kind of a Gangs of New York remake with the plot, not just the title...that movie kicks behinds xD

    and major shipping error here...
    IkariShipping (what you've wrote) = Paul x Dawn
    BelleShipping (which is one of the sweetest ship's I've recently found) = Drew x Dawn

    xD *pictures Drew like that*...*snicker* ok, you warned us of slight ooc-ness, so I won't hold this against you :p

    mhh...this could almost be sensual ^_^ and it's "hot breath" not "hot breathe"

    we need controversy in our lives...you know I'm kind of cynical sometimes, so you know I'm going to enjoy this one :D

    plus, you're the one who wrote it so... :D
     
  4. honey_clover112

    honey_clover112 tsundere full force!

    Ohmygosh....Yay!!!!!!!!! CuteDrew667.....thank you!

    I've been waiting for this kind of fanfic. I want a very....what you say, emotional and mature<very..>fanfic like this!!! Love ya!<in a platonic way...>

    And there's Ikarishipping! Yayz! And....Contestshipping? Hehe....if there is a PM list, count me in!

    Oh, yeah. Um...some criticism here....I think Paul was a little OOC here...but love the fanfic. 10/10!

    ;006;
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2007
  5. CuteDrew667

    CuteDrew667 Boo Darlin <3

    HelloKitty!!! *glomps* Ya loathe Dawn? ooo-er lol. You think my style is the same as when I write Hot Chocolate? I must have a very prominent style then lol. I understand that this chapter is out of the blue but it was basically to give an introduction of what Dawn goes through and also what the gangs are capable of.

    hmm...characters...let's just say...

    This will be a two-way fic, which means sometimes it will switch prespective for a little while, but most of it will be written in 1st Person...from May's point of view :D

    1 ~ I could lie and say it is a remake of Gangs of New York in my own British way...but I kinda...haven't seen the movie Gangs of New York so that is le impossible xD ah, i didn't realise there was a name for Drew/Dawn...sexy

    2 ~ yesh, Drew has a gun *Shuu moment* but his attitude is much worse...but technically he is kinda in character with his badassnes...but maybe he isn't that baddy lol

    3 ~ Did you mean sexual? (underlined word). ah, I will edit the typo lol

    4 ~ Aww you're a darling, thank you.

    wow, thank you very much. I am glad you are pleased that cha wanted a fic like this :D
    Wow!!! *huggle-glomps chu* my first PM list person. Yes, Paul was out of character, but Paul (however bad), trully loves Dawn and wouldn't put it pass Drew to kill her for fear of her going to the police.
    Thank you very much for the comments you lovely peoplez

    Ma Pm List

    honey_clover112
     
  6. HelloKitty17

    HelloKitty17 therocketsummer</3

    Oh yay. =] I like the way this sounds. & yes I loathe Dawn, everything about her to me is just..ew. Hah, yes your style is the same because even though this fic is rated NC-17, and your other one isn't, you still have that same dramatic effect throughout.

    Can you add me to the PM list? =D
     
  7. honey_clover112

    honey_clover112 tsundere full force!

    Aww.....Paul's getting mushier everyday.[/SARCASM]

    Haha....don't mind the sarcasm tag. Hehe. Loved the fic, girl.*glomps you back*

    Yeah..and Kengo dies here? Yayz!<Uh, I do like Kengo. But I dun like him if Dawn's involved.>

    ;006;
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2007
  8. CuteDrew667

    CuteDrew667 Boo Darlin <3

    hehe thank you, that is really flattering. of coursies you can go on ma pm list

    lol it's okay...i think you may lose your oppinion of Paul's "mushiness" as the fic progresses
     
  9. honey_clover112

    honey_clover112 tsundere full force!

    Oh? Will I? I hope so. I don't want to see Paul being mushier than he isn't.

    ;006;
     
  10. shadow_shipper

    shadow_shipper ...indeed...

    no dear, not this time :D

    I meant sensual as in close, emotionaly intense moment ;)

    teh Pm list...
    well...
    If you're going to PM me each time a chappie's up, even when I asked not to be on it like with Hot Chocolate, then sure, put me on the list if it pleases you :rolleyes:

    :D
     
  11. CuteDrew667

    CuteDrew667 Boo Darlin <3

    Wow, I am actually pretty quick. Here is Chapter 1 of Gangs of London.

    Rated R for: Strong Language, Sexual References and Domestic Violence

    It isn't that long, simply because if I had done more than this, due to the plot I would have done about twenty pages. this was 8 on Works. Hope ya like it

    Gangs of London


    Chapter 1



    ‘I’m in a hurry, would I be able to leave these with you?’ I ask the librarian hastily, piling various novels and fact books onto the counter.

    ‘Sure…’ she grunts in reply, taking a long drag of her cigarette and giving the books one glance before turning her eyes back to the magazine on her desk.

    ‘So…I’ll just go, bye,’ I mumble uncomfortably.

    Why the hell did I move? I can’t believe the comparison between Shropshire and London. My quiet hometown of countryside and history was like paradise compared to this place. My landlord hates me and I might as well be a piece of dirt on someone’s shoe in crowds. The people here are either stuck-up Oxford officials, or rough, rude East End kids.

    As I walk towards Trafalgar Square at a fast pace a tall man smacks into me without a second look.

    ‘Hey, will you watch it!’ I say in an immediate reaction.

    The man turns and looks at me coldly, his eyes cutting through me.

    ‘Piss off,’ he spits.

    My anger disintegrates and is replaced by intimidation. I turn quickly and start to walk faster towards the job agency. My money left over from college is running out and unless I get a job quickly, I’m going to lose my flat and my landlord will have a field day knowing that there will be a new victim for him. I just hope the people in here aren’t as rude as the rest of this bloody city.

    I push open the glass door, flinching at my dishevelled reflection. My messy ponytail and pale, tired face is pretty much my signature now. I walk over to the reception desk quietly and await a bored and reluctant welcome.

    ‘Hey! You must be Miss May Maple, am I right?’ says the receptionist in a friendly, American accent, ‘do you want to take a seat and I’ll sort you out.’

    ‘Oh…erm…okay,’ I say, sitting in front of the desk as she taps on her keyboard efficiently.

    ‘So, Miss Maple, what kind of work are you looking to do?’

    ‘Well I really don’t mind,’ I say truthfully, ‘anything that pays really.’

    ‘Well if it is really just money to put food on the table and pay the rent you’re looking for…to put it simply,’ she adds with a grin, ‘we have an excellent temp agency here?’

    ‘Really?’ I ask with interest.

    Be a temp? I never thought of that. I could be a shop assistant one day, working as a receptionist the next. That would be original and get me enough money to pay my stupid landlord.

    ‘When could I start?’

    ‘Oh…’ the receptionist gives a surprised smile and begins to tap at her computer again, ‘tomorrow?’

    ‘Tomorrow?’ I repeat, gob smacked, ‘sure that would be fab!’

    ‘Glad to hear you’re pleased. If you could just fill out these forms…’

    *

    I have a job! I haven’t had a job since my small-town-girl babysitting job when I was saving up money for a car. Now I mostly walk everywhere anyway because I can’t afford petrol. London prices are ridiculous! In fact, everything in London is ridiculous.

    ‘A cappuccino please,’ I call to the waiter as I enter Starbucks and sit at one of the cosy tables.

    I take my hair down from its ponytail and begin to brush it carefully when I hear a clatter from behind me. I turn in my chair and look at the source of the noise. A woman has stumbled over near the door of Starbucks and the contents of her bag has spread around her. The waiter serving me brings my cappuccino over politely and pretends not to see the fallen woman, though I know he has. In fact, no one has got up to help her. Why?

    ‘Excuse me, are you okay?’ I ask, getting to my feet and hurrying over to the woman who is on her knees, gathering up her possessions.

    ‘Oh, yes I’m fine,’ she says, looking up at me in surprise.

    She gathers the rest of her stuff and stands up in front of me. Good grief. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen away from the red carpet. Her deeply dark blue hair swims around her shoulders perfectly, contrasting with her large blue eyes, and her skin is creamy and immaculate.

    ‘Why don’t you…’ I say, gesturing to the table I am sitting at.

    ‘Um…sure,’ she says, still looking surprised.



    ‘Thank you for that,’ the woman expresses as we sit down.

    ‘That’s okay. I’m May Maple by the way,’ I say with a smile.

    ‘Dawn Scathen,’ she replies, ‘my husband’s name.’

    ‘Oh you’re married,’ I say, before realising how childish that sounds.

    ‘Yes, four years,’ she says with a small blush, ‘it will be six years since we got together from scratch next week.’

    ‘Aw, that’s lovely,’ I say, ‘your ring is beautiful.’

    I stare at the large, diamond ring on a band of silver metal around her slim finger. It looks like one that a snobby actress would flash to the paparazzi at a film premier.

    ‘How old is he?’ I ask, making conversation.

    ‘Twenty-seven,’ she replies, ‘his name is Paul. Paul Scathen.’

    Suddenly a man sitting on a table near to us chokes on his tea at Dawn’s words and I frown in confusion. Dawn doesn’t seem surprised, but bows her head slightly.

    ‘Er…’ I try.

    ‘So, are you married?’ Dawn asks, regaining her posture quickly.

    ‘Married?’ no one has ever asked me that before, ‘no I’m not. Actually I have only just moved to London. I’m on my own.’

    I give a small laugh and shrug. Dawn tilts her head and her eyes seem to examine me.

    ‘You’re well pretty,’ she says and I feel my face flush from the rare compliment.

    ‘Oh…thank you…nothing compared to you…er,’ I stutter.

    ‘You’re genuine as well,’ she says and I have no idea what she means.

    ‘Genuine?’ I ask.

    ‘Yeah, you can tell you aren’t a Londoner,’ she mutters with a smirk, ‘you got up and helped me for a start. You obviously know nothing about me, I like that.’

    Everything she says is completely enigmatic to me, but I find myself intrigued by her whole self. She takes a sip of my cappuccino which I offered to her and wipes the liquid from her top lip with a perfectly manicured hand. Why is she with me? She seems too streetwise and stereotypically beautiful to be talking to someone like me.

    ‘Do you know anything about London’s East End?’ she asks suddenly.

    London’s East End? The only thing I have heard about that place is how incredibly rough it is there and about the bad happenings. I better not say that though.

    ‘Not much, why?’

    ‘Well that’s where I live, I am here today visiting a friend’s. You should come to the East End some time, you can meet my husband.’

    Wow. We have only just met and she is inviting me to her home?

    ‘This sounds completely pathetic, but I don’t see a lot of women like you there so it would be nice to talk to you again.’

    Her words touch me and I smile bashfully. She jumps as there is a vibrating noise from her handbag, and she pulls out a small, stylish mobile hastily.

    ‘Hello? Oh hi, no, I’m in Trafalgar Square. Because I have a right to be, okay?’ Dawn says into the phone angrily, ‘okay, I’ll get a taxi, I‘m in Starbucks…oh, thank you. Bye.’

    She slides the mobile shut and sighs, an irritated expression covering her perfect features.

    ‘I have to go, that was my…a guy I know,’ she mumbles, getting to her feet, ‘he’s coming to pick me up.’

    ‘Oh, from where?’

    ‘Outside here.’

    ‘Do you want me to come outside?’ I offer, finishing the cappuccino and getting to my feet.

    ‘Oh, sure May, thanks,’ Dawn says with a smile, ‘excuse the man that picks me up though, he has minus-100 social skills.’

    ‘Who is he?’ I ask, laying a pound coin on the table and start to walk towards the door.

    ‘My husband’s cousin,’ she mutters, opening the door and hopping out onto the street, ‘he thinks I’m stupid and inadequate, but he does look after me.’

    ‘Oh…’ I don’t know what to say to that, ‘what car has he got?’

    ‘A black Porsche,’ she says and my eyes widen ever so slightly.

    ‘Oh, nice,’ I say.

    Within five minutes there is a revving noise and an immaculate, shiny black car pulls up onto the curb beside us. The driver’s side opens and I step back as a man climbs slickly out. He is about six feet tall and has spiky, emerald hair that falls into his eyes coolly, matching with his powerful green eyes.

    ‘Get in then,’ he snaps at Dawn.

    ‘Erm…first of all, this is my friend May,’ Dawn says hastily, gesturing to me, ‘she might be coming to see us one time.’

    I am guessing Dawn assumes I will be because I haven’t actually answered her, but that’s fine. The man turns his eyes down to me, his piercing stare makes me shiver.

    ‘Right.’

    ‘This is Drew, May,’ Dawn says to me.

    ‘Hello,’ I try lamely.

    ‘’Ite,’ he grunts, ‘come on, Dawn, I’m not waiting all day.’

    ‘Okay…well bye May…here,’ she whips a small scrap of paper out of her pocket and scribbles a number on it, ‘give me a call some time.’

    She gives me one last smile and walks round to the passenger side of the car and climbs in. Drew ignores me and gets in as well, starting the engine without any hesitation. Before I can attempt to wave goodbye, the car revs loudly and speeds away at an amazing pace. Surely that isn’t legal.

    I look down at the number in my hand that Dawn gave me to call her on. I just might do that.

    ***

    ‘Drew…you could have tried to be polite,’ Dawn murmured as the car slowed at some traffic lights.

    ‘Who the hell was she?’ Drew asked, turning to look at her.

    ‘Just someone I met. She’s a lovely lady.’

    ‘She seems…’ Drew stopped and frowned, ‘why was she talking to you? She ain’t from London, you can tell.’

    ‘You could tell from five seconds?’

    ‘Dawn, I run London, I should know if someone ain’t from round here.’

    ‘Well…she helped me up when I fell over and I got talking to her,’ Dawn shrugged, ‘I really like her.’

    ‘Don’t invite her over.’

    ‘Why?’ asked Dawn, taken aback.

    ‘Because I don’t trust her. You might think her a nice person, but she doesn’t have any knowledge of what I do, I could tell. Just keep to Nozomi and Misty.’

    ‘Well excuse me,’ Dawn snapped, ‘Misty was similar to May when you met her, so don’t tell me who I can see.’

    ‘I have every fucking right to tell you who you can’t see,’ Drew snapped loudly, starting the car quickly as the lights changed, the force knocking Dawn back into her seat.

    She didn’t say anything, she just bowed her head slowly.

    ‘I hope Misty has got the dinner on ready,’ Drew grumbled after a few moments of uncomfortable silence.

    ‘But…I thought we were all going out tonight…for your birthday,’ Dawn said cautiously.

    ‘I don’t want to go out!’ he replied heatedly.

    ‘Oh…’

    Dawn couldn’t bring herself to tell him how much effort she had gone into to book the perfect restaurant and everything for him. She would just feel embarrassed.

    ‘What’s the point? It’s not as though anyone has actually planned anything,’ Drew grunted, ‘Paul forgot. Misty is…’

    He trailed off and Dawn didn’t have to ask what she had install for him.

    ‘Are you and Misty even together?’ Dawn asked without meaning to.

    ‘Aye?’ Drew glanced at her shortly, ‘why do you care?’

    ‘Well…because…you used to hate her.’

    ‘I didn’t hate her…I just didn’t like-’

    ‘Ash?’

    ‘Piss off,’ Drew muttered, ‘no, I didn’t like him and if it wasn’t for you and Misty I would’ve shot him years ago.’

    Dawn twisted her hands together nervously. She never knew what was the right thing to say to Drew. He was always there for her (in his own way), but she always felt as though he had a wall up that no one could pass. It was almost unbelievable that he was born and bred in Oxford’s wealthiest area and had connections with Buckingham Palace…

    ‘What’s the matter with you?’ Drew asked, bringing Dawn out of her trance.

    ‘I was just thinking. Is Paul at home?’

    ‘No. He’ll be back at midnight.’

    ‘Why?’ Dawn exclaimed, ‘what about your birthday?’

    ‘I told you we aren’t doing anything!’ Drew exploded, ‘he needs to check out security at the club. Why do you have to get me irritated Dawn?’

    Drew sped the car up and swerved down a side street, parking half way down it in front of a very large, detached house. He turned the ignition off and sat silently with his hands resting on the steering wheel. Dawn didn’t move either, though they had reached the house.

    ‘You’re probably right…you know, about me and Misty,’ Drew muttered.

    ‘I didn’t say anything-’

    ‘No, I read between the lines,’ he replied, ‘Misty and I are just-’

    ‘Sex buddies?’ Dawn asked helpfully, being careful to keep her tone light.

    ‘Jealous much?’

    ‘Get over yourself,’ Dawn said snappily, praying that her cheeks did not tint, ‘I am married and you were the Best Man at my wedding in case you have forgotten.’

    ‘You make it sound so sleazy. Sex buddies? What kind of impression does that give it?’ Drew sighed, tapping his hands on the steering wheel, ‘you gonna’ get out then. I’m going to go and get some lager and some wine for you, be back in a bit.’

    ‘Okay…you don’t want me to come?’

    ‘No.’

    Dawn unclipped her seatbelt slowly, feeling sad that the second-closest male to her was so contemptuous and objectifying to her. Not that Paul was very different, but at least she felt as though she could talk to her husband, not like Drew.

    ‘Well…I’ll see you in a little while then,’ she mumbled, opening the door and looking over at him.

    ‘Yeah.’

    Dawn hesitated and moved towards Drew, her eyes filling with tears of hurt that she had booked everything for his birthday for no reason, and also because Paul was hardly ever around anymore. Drew looked at her in frowned confusion.

    ‘What are you-’

    Before he could finish, Dawn put one hand on his cheek and pulled his face closer to hers, pressing her lips to his cheek softly. Why was she doing this? Perhaps it was just from her pure affection for him that was never mirrored.

    ‘Happy Birthday…see you,’ Dawn stammered.

    She pushed the car door completely open and clambered out quickly, not giving Drew a chance to either shout or say something scathing at her. As soon as she shut the door behind her, she heard the car start and it sped away again. Dawn let out a deep sigh and trotted up the steps of the house, pulling a key from her pocket and jamming it into the lock. At least now she would be able to hide away upstairs and will for Paul to come home early, rather than being subjected to Misty’s little dinner she had prepared for Drew.

    ‘Dawn, is that you?’ Misty called from the kitchen as Dawn dropped her keys on the side and walked towards the stairs, ‘are you gonna’ help me with Drew’s birthday meal.’

    ‘You know what Misty, I have a bit of a headache. I think I’ll pass. I also need to phone Red Flag and cancel the five hundred pound meal I had booked for his birthday that obviously doesn’t come close to what you have planned.’

    Dawn’s words spilled out of her mouth before she could stop them. Not that she cared much. She was just sick of being second to Misty when it was her that was the wife of Paul and her that knew Drew better than anyone…even if he didn’t know it.

    She could hear Misty saying something to her and coming out of the kitchen so she sprinted up the stairs and into her and Paul’s room, slamming the door behind her. This was how it always was. Her alone in this bedroom. It was hard to believe that it was half her husband’s at times, he was never there.

    She collapsed on the bed and buried her face in the pillow, ignoring the fact that her make-up would be smudged. She could feel herself drifting to sleep when she felt a small vibrating sensation from her pocket. Her mobile. Dawn fished it out of her jacket and clicked on the message reluctantly, though her reluctance soon disintegrated.

    Hey Dawn, I know this is quick but I just wanted to let you know that if you want to meet up tomorrow evening, I would love to. Is Starbucks in Trafalgar Square okay? May

    Dawn stared at the message and reread it over and over, a smile forming on her face. Finally, someone aside from Nozomi who wanted to meet up with her. Feeling cheered, she began to text back, knowing that Drew would despise her meeting up with May.

    She stayed there all night, locking the door and ignoring Drew’s heated knocks and calls to her from behind it. It was only when her husband came back and threatened to break it down that she moved. She unlocked it hurriedly and Paul flung it open angrily.

    ‘What are you playing at?’ he shouted.

    ‘I just wanted some time on my own,’ Dawn tried, noticing that Paul’s breath smelt of alcohol, ‘where have you been?’

    ‘Don’t cheek me Dawn,’ Paul yelled, grabbing her by her shirt and wrist and pulling her close to him roughly, ‘you don’t lock this door, Drew thought you had fucking topped yourself, you stupid little cow! I had to come home from work early to check on you!’

    ‘Paul, you’re hurting me,’ Dawn cried as his grip on her wrist was tightening.

    ‘I don’t care! I shouldn’t have to be stressed out after a hard days work because of you!’ he raged, throwing her away from him so she fell against the floor hard.

    He stepped towards her and Dawn threw her hands in front of her face, scared that he was going to strike her. He didn’t. He didn’t even move from the spot where he stood, awaiting for Dawn to move.

    ‘Please,’ she whimpered, getting to her feet slowly, ‘forgive…’

    ‘Dawn…don’t annoy me,’ Paul hissed, ‘you know I love you.’

    ‘Oh Paul,’ Dawn wailed, falling forwards into his arms, ‘I’m sorry.’

    She clutched his jumper in her hands, craving his comforting hold.

    ‘I love you,’ she whimpered, ‘I love you so much…’

    ************

    Well...I know that was an abrupt end but if I hadn't (like I said before) I would have switched back to May and it would have been waaay too long. I understand a few things may be a bit confusing, but as the story progresses things will become much clearer.

    ~ CuteDrew667 ~

    PM List:

    honey_clover112
    HelloKitty17
    shadow_shipper
    miakimluv
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2007
  12. shadow_shipper

    shadow_shipper ...indeed...

    huh...fast indeed

    you like Starbucks café a lot don't you ? :D but it's ridiculously expensive in there :-/ I couldn't enjoy my mokaccino knowing how much I've paid -_-
    Not the place I'd recommend if you can't afford petrol for your car ^_^'

    :eek:

    huh...yeah...I immagined him younger for some reason...maybe 20 to 24...

    oh yeah ! Now that we have May in here, what are actually the ships for this fic ? and out of curiosity, Drew and Paul are cousins...will the whole "familiy" side come into play in this story ?

    lol...Drew :rolleyes:

    Ididn't quote the "I run London" part, but that was brilliant, and this, well...typo : "You might think her a nice person" --> "You might think of her as a nice person" I think...
    and Dawn is a friend of Misty...wonder what's their relationship...

    :D ...he should have done it xD j/k :rolleyes:

    holy cow...tension ! at least, now I know what their relationship is like :rolleyes: :D whoa...Misty, May, Dawn and even Nozomi are mentionned...and only two guys so far...*smiles*...

    :D

    Does she love him by fear ? hum...and him...well...


    relationships and couples here are going to be like a turmoil :) I love it ^_^

    er...no, not an abrupt ending, it was even good, cause it's not a harsh cliffhanger, and it's a nice way to end it.

    my second impression : this is good, I see that you're in your recently more mature phase of writing, continuing the recent momentum of Hot Chocolate for the themes, but when it's written properly, it's very enjoyable to read, which it is now.

    I really don't know what you can do to improve yourself, keep on writing like this, you're already writing one of my favourite CS fics, and another brilliant fic coming from you would really amaze me :)

    later
     
  13. CuteDrew667

    CuteDrew667 Boo Darlin <3

    1. Yesh, isn't it obvious from Hot Choc xD. its expensive? I have never really noticed, I just order regardless lol

    2. I might have to make it clearer but chapter 1 is six years after the Prologue, Dawn's "Six years since we got together from scratch", so Dawn is twenty-two, Paul was 21 when he and Dawn were together in the prologue, and Drew was 22 (almost 23), hense calling Dawn a child. It is Drew's twenty-ninth birthday in this chapter.

    Yes, there will be more "family" references...but our msn favourite...*Samantha no tell* :D

    3. Yes...Drew. is it that obvious? xD sexy :D Thank you, Drew runs London hehe. As I told you on msn if Drew is living in London's East End he will have developed Cockney (a certain london accent) slang. "They thought it unbelievable", "you may think her nice" are the way some people would pronounce it...Drew is one of them lol

    4. Nozomi is married...to some random dude who I haven't decided yet. lol yes tension, Dawn has a hard life....it will all be explained in due course :D

    5. No, Dawn does not love him by fear. She loves Paul deeply, no matter how much she loves him. but every woman needs freedom at times....*Samantha no tell*

    I have a lot of mature knowledge and therefore want to reflect that in my stories, so they are becoming more mature. wow Hot Chocolate is one of ur fave CS fics? thank you so much and for this review thank you *huggles*

    Also, thank you for everything you said to me on msn, it really does mean a lot to me
     
  14. HelloKitty17

    HelloKitty17 therocketsummer</3

    Wow this was excellent. It's almost like my heart beats faster at certain lines.
    Poor May, she has no idea what she is getting herself into at all does she?
    I know I said I hate Dawn, but her character in here is horrible. I feel so bad for her. She really must love Paul a lot to put up with all the beating. Then again, she probuly coudn't get out of it if she wanted to either, could see?
    God Drew is a real *** in here isn't he? It's interesting how you kinda paired him with Misty. (Sex buddies) XD It will be interesting to see how May gets pulled into this. I get what you mean now with being in May's point of view. That makes a lot of sense too. By the way, what happend to Ash?

    Starbucks <3333 ;; When I read that I got such a craving

    Yours Truly,
    HelloKitty17
     
  15. CuteDrew667

    CuteDrew667 Boo Darlin <3

    Thankies hun. No she doesn't, she knows that Dawn is different and that she is hiding things, but she has no idea just how big it all is. Everyone in London knows the name "Scathen", Paul and Drew's second name, but May doesn't. If she did, she would have been frightened of Dawn, and especially Drew when she saw him. Observe my signature (or pics on first page) where it has Dawn looking strong and almost angry, with a very upset looking May blended =[ spoiler much?
    The Drew and Misty thing....I will say nothing :D and Ash will be in this fic...in a few chapters. I don't like to rush things lol
    thank you for the comment my love
    xoxo
     
  16. honey_clover112

    honey_clover112 tsundere full force!

    ..Drew should've shot Ash.....:D

    Hehe..nice chappie! But why..the heck, did you pair Drew with Misty?! It's all right if it was Brianna, but Misty?! Well...that was unexpected.

    Yay! Starbucks! We love it there!

    Aww....Paul isn't a mushy character here! Yay! But...he's...mistreating Dawn. That's bad. But Dawn really must love him here...Ikarishipyness.:)

    ;006;
     
  17. CuteDrew667

    CuteDrew667 Boo Darlin <3

    lol now I thought people would have been angry about Drew's comment about Ash, obviously not lol. I paired Drew with Misty simply because it would be unexpected, rather than adding a character I don't even like (Brianna) just to follow the one-sided crush on Drew.
    Dawn loves Paul deeply and yes Paul does mistreat her, but he does love her back...just...in his own way lol. thanks for the comment =]
     
  18. honey_clover112

    honey_clover112 tsundere full force!

    Hehe, don't mention it. But really. Paul's just....ya' know...um...very intelligent, I suppose. And he won't do a crime, right? Hey! That's abuse...but whatever, no fave character of mine's going to jail!!!!

    And okay, I guess he does love her.

    ;006;
     
  19. CuteDrew667

    CuteDrew667 Boo Darlin <3

    yes he does, and yes Paul is intelligent but is also a very immoral man. he has killed and will do whatever Drew tells him to...but there ya go lol

    Here's a spoiler

    Drew talking:
    ‘Because Jenkins lives in New York, and I seriously doubt he is gonna’ come to England. But hey, on the bright side, you’ll be able to give Paul a shopping list. Misty’s going to see her Mom in Wales tonight so it’ll just be me and you, okay?’

    Dawn's reaction after Paul has told her how long he is going for:
    ‘Weeks?!’ Dawn shrieked, gob smacked, ‘you give me a couple hours notice that you are going away for a couple of weeks?!’

    ‘Babe, shut up screaming at me,’ Paul grumbled.
     
  20. CuteDrew667

    CuteDrew667 Boo Darlin <3

    Mel!!! *huggles to death* hiya darlin. Thank you for the lovely comment and I am sorry tht u broke ur arm lol.

    If you on the PM list that means that when I put a new chapter up cus u r on it I will send you a message telling you that i have put it up. and of course u can hun *adds*

    ~CuteDrew667~
     

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