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The Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual Alliance Club

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Are any of you in here gay men that possess feminine facial features? I'm asking because one of the things I deal with (which is loosely related to my deleted posts) are gay men imposing qualities on me because of my Bambi face, especially now since I've lost a ton of weight. I kind of look like a male snow white. How do you deal with that? I mean, obviously, I don't mind it if someone thinks I'm pretty, it's just that this "OMG. ADORABLE AND PRECIOUS DELICATE FLOWER THAT I MUST PROTECT" attitude I get all the time really gets on my nerves.

And if one more person asks whether I'm into cross-dressing, I think I'm going to lose it.
 

lemoncatpower

Cynical Optimist
Are any of you in here gay men that possess feminine facial features? I'm asking because one of the things I deal with (which is loosely related to my deleted posts) are gay men imposing qualities on me because of my Bambi face, especially now since I've lost a ton of weight. I kind of look like a male snow white. How do you deal with that? I mean, obviously, I don't mind it if someone thinks I'm pretty, it's just that this "OMG. ADORABLE AND PRECIOUS DELICATE FLOWER THAT I MUST PROTECT" attitude I get all the time really gets on my nerves.

And if one more person asks whether I'm into cross-dressing, I think I'm going to lose it.
If you don't want to be the delicate flower, don't act the delicate flower. Don't let anyone do anything for you and make sure you take care of your own stuff. Other than that, if someone sees you as someone to protect, that's better for you in the long run, and then you can be like SHABAM I DO NOT NEED PROTECTING when it comes down to it and they should get the message. I found my straight guy friends did this more so, and then some of the gay friends who tried to act straight did it too.

Also cross-dressing is awesome and you should watch Rupaul if you're not into it, because guuuurl you will be once you finish a season.
 

Captain Jigglypuff

Leader of Jigglypuff Army
If you don't want to be the delicate flower, don't act the delicate flower. Don't let anyone do anything for you and make sure you take care of your own stuff. Other than that, if someone sees you as someone to protect, that's better for you in the long run, and then you can be like SHABAM I DO NOT NEED PROTECTING when it comes down to it and they should get the message. I found my straight guy friends did this more so, and then some of the gay friends who tried to act straight did it too.

Also cross-dressing is awesome and you should watch Rupaul if you're not into it, because guuuurl you will be once you finish a season.
I want to be on Drag Race soooooo much! My main goal will be to win the Snatch Game by impersonating Yoko Ono. Plus I am a second degree black belt so I can defend myself and give any gay bathers a very nasty surprise particularly when I beat them up while wearing stilettos and swinging a purse like a mace.
 
If you don't want to be the delicate flower, don't act the delicate flower. Don't let anyone do anything for you and make sure you take care of your own stuff. Other than that, if someone sees you as someone to protect, that's better for you in the long run, and then you can be like SHABAM I DO NOT NEED PROTECTING when it comes down to it and they should get the message. I found my straight guy friends did this more so, and then some of the gay friends who tried to act straight did it too.

Also cross-dressing is awesome and you should watch Rupaul if you're not into it, because guuuurl you will be once you finish a season.

Okay, I was talking about people imposing qualities on me irrespective of how I actually act, but thank you for your input nonetheless lemoncat.
 

lemoncatpower

Cynical Optimist
I want to be on Drag Race soooooo much! My main goal will be to win the Snatch Game by impersonating Yoko Ono. Plus I am a second degree black belt so I can defend myself and give any gay bathers a very nasty surprise particularly when I beat them up while wearing stilettos and swinging a purse like a mace.
I think it's everyone's dream secretly once they watch the show! I find myself thinking who I would do in snatch game every so often at least and can never think of someone I could ever do! I'd wanna do someone from anime and no one would get it there :p I'd love throwing so much shade in the reading game too!

Okay, I was talking about people imposing qualities on me irrespective of how I actually act, but thank you for your input nonetheless lemoncat.
oh I guess people will do that no matter what and there's really no way to solve that issue other than to mostly hang out with people who know you well and respect you in the way you'd like to be respected so you don't have to deal with it other than strangers. Sorry for the lack of help :p
 

Manchee

extra toasty
Are any of you in here gay men that possess feminine facial features? I'm asking because one of the things I deal with (which is loosely related to my deleted posts) are gay men imposing qualities on me because of my Bambi face, especially now since I've lost a ton of weight. I kind of look like a male snow white. How do you deal with that? I mean, obviously, I don't mind it if someone thinks I'm pretty, it's just that this "OMG. ADORABLE AND PRECIOUS DELICATE FLOWER THAT I MUST PROTECT" attitude I get all the time really gets on my nerves.

And if one more person asks whether I'm into cross-dressing, I think I'm going to lose it.

I think the most that you can do is just be you. People are always going to assume things of others and put them into boxes or expectations that we don't like, but you have to be you and just let them know if they're in the wrong. Most likely they're going to do it to others as well, so if you can explain to them that you don't like it, it can help change the attitude/stigma attached to being a male who looks more feminine. I know I get judged for how much I move my hands while talking and the way that I talk, but I just make sure that I'm coming off authentically and eventually people get over it and realize that it's just who I am and it doesn't mean I possess any specific qualities/etc.
 

Sketchie

literally some guy
Are any of you in here gay men that possess feminine facial features? I'm asking because one of the things I deal with (which is loosely related to my deleted posts) are gay men imposing qualities on me because of my Bambi face, especially now since I've lost a ton of weight. I kind of look like a male snow white. How do you deal with that? I mean, obviously, I don't mind it if someone thinks I'm pretty, it's just that this "OMG. ADORABLE AND PRECIOUS DELICATE FLOWER THAT I MUST PROTECT" attitude I get all the time really gets on my nerves.

And if one more person asks whether I'm into cross-dressing, I think I'm going to lose it.

I'm a trans boy, my whole LIFE is being a gay man with incredibly feminine features. It sucks but it's life. So, some of the things that I do:
- Wear hyper-masculine (WELL FITTING) clothing. It doesn't even need to be hyper-masculine, I buy my stuff from H&M and miraculously I'm passing. (I'm 5'1, just for reference.) Well fitting clothing, especially in your shoulders, will help show off your frame. Also, if you start stepping into hyper-masculine, that stuff isn't exactly what I would call "adorable" and "delicate." Darker colors help too.
- ... okay so this SOUNDS super feminine but listen. Trans masculine secret. Face contour is perfectly okay. Get a light shadow and a good brush and dust a little under your cheekbones and jawline and let me tell you it works wonders.
- Stance is a lot too. You're a dude, take up space. Broad things usually aren't cute. Don't go all the way manspreading, but spreading your legs out, holding yourself high, pushing your shoulders up and back, taking that STANCE will help out with the omg adorable.
- Also... ask. Tell people you're uncomfortable with the OMG ADORABLE. If they're worth being around, they'll realize you don't like it and they'll start backing off. It sounds dumb but seriously standing up for yourself and telling others you're not comfortable with or don't like being called a delicate flower, people will listen.

Anywhome. Good luck!
 

Zora

perpetually tired
So, rather big day for my boyfriend and I--mostly my boyfriend. My boyfriend came out to his brother and mother and his father will probably know soon. The last one, being a 'Fox News Christian' (to put it nicely), is the wildcard so I'm not sure how the rest of the week will go. That said, he sounds relieved so I'm hoping that's a good sign.
 
I'm a trans boy, my whole LIFE is being a gay man with incredibly feminine features. It sucks but it's life. So, some of the things that I do:
- Wear hyper-masculine (WELL FITTING) clothing. It doesn't even need to be hyper-masculine, I buy my stuff from H&M and miraculously I'm passing. (I'm 5'1, just for reference.) Well fitting clothing, especially in your shoulders, will help show off your frame. Also, if you start stepping into hyper-masculine, that stuff isn't exactly what I would call "adorable" and "delicate." Darker colors help too.
- ... okay so this SOUNDS super feminine but listen. Trans masculine secret. Face contour is perfectly okay. Get a light shadow and a good brush and dust a little under your cheekbones and jawline and let me tell you it works wonders.
- Stance is a lot too. You're a dude, take up space. Broad things usually aren't cute. Don't go all the way manspreading, but spreading your legs out, holding yourself high, pushing your shoulders up and back, taking that STANCE will help out with the omg adorable.
- Also... ask. Tell people you're uncomfortable with the OMG ADORABLE. If they're worth being around, they'll realize you don't like it and they'll start backing off. It sounds dumb but seriously standing up for yourself and telling others you're not comfortable with or don't like being called a delicate flower, people will listen.

Anywhome. Good luck!

Well, I'm non-binary, genderqueer, gender non conforming, or whatever the terminology is used these days to describe someone who alternates between masculine and feminine aesthetics, and everything in between. There are times when I feel really comfortable with a more feminine gender expression, it's the traditional concepts associated with feminity that I find bothersome, like passivity and deference. Tilting toward a more a masculine expression isn't really a solution to that problem, but you're right, there's nothing I can really do about it other than making my opinion on the matter known.

Good luck to your boyfriend, Zora. I've dated someone who was in the closet once and his parents had the misfortune of finding out via more scandalous means than an earnest confession. Should things not pan out the way you had hoped, at least there's that to be thankful for.
 

Sketchie

literally some guy
Well, I'm non-binary, genderqueer, gender non conforming, or whatever the terminology is used these days to describe someone who alternates between masculine and feminine aesthetics, and everything in between. There are times when I feel really comfortable with a more feminine gender expression, it's the traditional concepts associated with feminity that I find bothersome, like passivity and deference. Tilting toward a more a masculine expression isn't really a solution to that problem, but you're right, there's nothing I can really do about it other than making my opinion on the matter known.

Cool! You and I sound really similar -- I'm genderfluid, so my gender and its presentation is all over the godforsaken place. If you still want those feminine aesthetics (which is a mood, catch me sunbathing in the window in a silk floral sundress), it's all about your stance and your movement. Dominate the area! And yes. Tell people. Good luck!

And also, huge mood, I hate being seen as passive. I have a strong personality, so when I'm seen as tiny and feminine even when I am feeling girlish I'm a little peeved.
 

Captain Jigglypuff

Leader of Jigglypuff Army
I have a drag lip sync performance idea in mind but I’m not sure how to put together a look for it. The song is Martika’s version of the song I Feel the Earth Move and I want to look like I survived some disaster in a campy fashion and I pull out a fake dead bird and maybe random debris as I lip sync out of my wig. I just don’t know how my outfit should look. My makeup will be smeared a bit and dirty looking.
 

VampirateMace

Internet Overlord
I have a drag lip sync performance idea in mind but I’m not sure how to put together a look for it. The song is Martika’s version of the song I Feel the Earth Move and I want to look like I survived some disaster in a campy fashion and I pull out a fake dead bird and maybe random debris as I lip sync out of my wig. I just don’t know how my outfit should look. My makeup will be smeared a bit and dirty looking.

I would assume the outfit needs a interrupted look, so maybe specific clothes that suggest you were in the middle of something; like an apron for cooking, or tacky gym clothes. And of course they should probably be dirtied, which should be perfectly easy to achieve.
 

Darato

(o,..,o)
Sunday we had a parade with pride here; the haunted house I'm part of was in it, we had the normal unhappy protesters to the side with their signs; but then another group of protesters ran out in the middle of the parade and lie down and block the path, for a while, hoping it would lead to something.

But they we're moved and the parade went on

L.F.D.
 

Captain Jigglypuff

Leader of Jigglypuff Army
I give up on ever trying to find someone who wants to date me. Tonight it was evident that I’m an idiot for thinking anyone would evel like me or even want me. I should just start saving $6000 on a male Real Doll and become the gay version of Lars and the Real Girl. At least I know then I have something to hold that’s bigger than a pillow for once.
 

Manchee

extra toasty
I give up on ever trying to find someone who wants to date me. Tonight it was evident that I’m an idiot for thinking anyone would evel like me or even want me. I should just start saving $6000 on a male Real Doll and become the gay version of Lars and the Real Girl. At least I know then I have something to hold that’s bigger than a pillow for once.

Dating men sucks. Most of them are not even close to worth it, and to devalue yourself over someone else's opinion isn't going to get you very far. It might take a lot of tries to find someone who isn't a typical dbag, but keep your standards up and don't settle for someone just because they show an interest in you. Put your value in yourself and find passion in your talents and the things you enjoy, not finding a boyfriend. It's not all it's cut out to be.
 

Captain Jigglypuff

Leader of Jigglypuff Army
I just unfriendead someone I went to school with. He made some transphobic and homophobic remarks about Pride month being “disgusting.” Yeah well maybe we gay folks find all you straight people holding hands and kissing in public disgusting. We are polite enough not to say anything. It is literally shoved in our face daily. And I saw someone made a post complaining how Pride month shouldn’t exist because there is no straight Pride month. Uh yeah there is. You basically have 12. You have the entire year to shove your heterosexuality down our throats and again we don’t complain!
 
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Willow's Tara

The Bewitched
People are ridiculous, you think we would be in equality already with 2018 but nope, homophobics are too busy going mah rights! Actually if you just shut up and learned to accepted everyone, you wouldn't have to see it shoved in your face everyday.
Plus I hate how anytime a character is gay in an TV series, it's "Shoving politics up your throat."
Or you know it's just an character like all the others, and their sexuality seriously have nothing to do with it. 2018, we should be focusing on ways to make the world better, make it futuristic and grand to help better the way of life. Instead we deal with racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia etc and the world contiunes to tear itself apart.
 

lemoncatpower

Cynical Optimist
I just unfriendead someone I went to school with. He made some transphobic and homophobic remarks about Pride month being “disgusting.” Yeah well maybe we gay folks find all you straight people holding hands and kissing in public disgusting. We are polite enough not to say anything. It is literally shoved in our face daily. And I saw someone made a post complaining how Pride month shouldn’t exist because there is no straight Pride month. Uh yeah there is. You basically have 12. You have the entire year to shove your heterosexuality down our throats and again we don’t complain!

I honestly had a fight about this at work on Tuesday and it still makes me mad. I'm from Canada but we still have a lot of home-schooled christian families who think they should run everyone else's lives... and I work for one of them... well they're a great family in some senses but HARDCORE christian and they home-school all their children because they don't want them to learn about normal morals like women's right, abortion, lgbt rights, other religions, etc. and there is only two of us working in the company who aren't part of the family.

Anyway this coworker of mine who isn't related to the family either and we're very close, brought up how Trump and Trudeau went at it and Trump is an idiot who needs to leave Trudeau alone, and then the owners brother comes in (who's some old drunk guy in the back shop) and is all like FAGGOTS CAN BE FAGGOTS BUT KEEP THAT **** AT HOME and "trudeau is an idiot, I respect trump so much, trudeau lets all these faggots have pride and they get to shove it in my face" and my friend and I just looked at each other like WTF is this old man on... and then I ended up saying how:

A) Gay people can be murdered in other countries, we are very very greatfull to be in North America where people can be who they want to be. Cis White people can go anywhere in the world basically and no be hunted down for who they are. That is why we have Pride Month.

B)Religion is shoved in your face WAY more than pride is, which is once a year. Religion is shoved in my face everytime I leave my house and I see 900000 churches all one block away from each other and I work here with crosses hanging.

Then in his muttering he's just like "I know I'm right" and I just decided... bygones be bygones, we actually work great together and I don't care enough to to continue the conversation was what I had really said afterwards. and Then I continued to take ALL the religious stuff off the walls and put up new decorations. Had anxiety all week because of it but I will change this family's attitude towards LGBT so we can all live happier.

I am SOO sure Romeo, the old drunk guy who is the owners brother, is like definitely closet gay and is so ashemd of himself because he was raised SUPER religious. It's sad actually but whatever lol.
 

Captain Jigglypuff

Leader of Jigglypuff Army
I keep coming up with great ideas for drag performances. I think I’ve also developed a way for me to wear long acrylic nails without ruining my natural nails that are easy to remove and also still be reusable. I’m going to try sing double sided wig tape. So far in my testing the nail stays put unless a lot of pressure is applied to the nail. I am going to try to heat up the tape with a hairdryer on the lowest setting to see if it will hold better. I hope my idea works because I really want to wear nails in my act and also be creative in their designs.
 
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