Well in interesting news, my friend at school is going to interview me as part of a research paper for a Gender Studies class about my experience when I came out of the closet. She's also interviewing a transgender friend of mine as well as another woman to get the experiences of a gay man, a lesbian and a transgendered coming out of the closet in our community. She also wants to go with me to see all of the Pride events happening this weekend here. Should be a fun time.
That sounds like a really good opportunity. Definitely make the most of it. =]
What positive and negative experience have you had realizing your sexuality and or coming out?
I cannot really comment on the positives and negatives I've had when it comes to coming out, since I haven't. But as for the realisation, tt hit me like a tonne of bricks, it's like realising you know your life is going to be harder, and more troublesome. I can safely say that the realisation was more negative than positive. I had experienced a lot of inner conflict regarding my sexuality.
When you've been brought up like I was, gay people were joked about, not necessarily hated, but they weren't preferred amongst my family, and of course I thought it was normal to joke about them and such, and then when you realise that you are ONE of them, I had a pretty prolonged period of denial, I didn't want to be gay, at all, I hated it to be blunt. When I finally came to terms with the fact I wasn't straight, I came out to some of my close friends at my old school as bisexual, I knew I wasn't straight, but I didn't know if I was fully gay (well, I did, but I tried to kid myself).
And then the day when I told myself I was gay, I think a part of me died, haha, knowing that life is going to be a lot harder, most of the public against you, it still freaks me out, as I'm a very insecure person. Some people can learn to accept their homosexuality really quickly, I wish I could, but, oh well. Oh jesus, look at all that negativity.
What was positive about it? Well, it was a positive experience when I didn't have to lie to myself. But that's it, nothing else good can come out of it, in my opinion.
Goodness, I sure can babble on.
Oh, today has been a stressful day.
Yesterday for my chemistry class we learned about the mole (I know what it is, 6.022x10^23), however, everything went south once we applied. That is, finding out how many molecules of said element or in compound of X amount of weight, and so on and so forth. The next day (today), we were expected to apply that even further, since I didn't quite understand the initial concept I was completely lost. Knowing that I basically didn't understand yesterday's work nor today's work (the teacher is too busy to give assistance, being as he is a college professor), I had to drop the class. I am really upset with myself not being able to understand the concept, especially since others (not in the class, but online) seem to understand the concept perfectly. *sigh*
I had to learn about the mole this year, it was pretty damn difficult, for the most of the class actually. Eventually we got the hang of it, though I've already forgotten most of it (thank god I'm dropping it next year).
