Well seems to me that your crush MIGHT have some sort of feelings for you too Lucien.
Ok I want to talk a little about something thats happened to me..
I was at a friends house part with my room mates little brother and it is known that he isnt gay, its also known he has some back problems, anyway his back was hurting him a bit while we were talking so we went into our friends bed room to have a sit down and to get away from the music, he asked me after a short while if I could rub his back a bit so I said alrigh (just cos it was a nice thing to do) and so I was rubbing his back and he said lower, so I rubbed his lower back and he sighed and said that it felt good.
After a short while of us talking about random things and how he wanted to move to the city too but he didnt know how he could do it since he didnt have a job and couldnt go to uni for another year, we talked about that stuff and I offered advice saying he should just move here when he can go to uni. (as thats what me and his brother did)
Back to the point though, we were talking and suddenly we stopped talking, he was looking at me, I took a sip of my drink and asked him what was wrong, he told me to rub lower, well that got me at the bottom of his back, pretty much touching the bed. He said again "lower" and I replied by laughing and saying that I couldnt go lower without rubbing his bottom, he smiled and nodded. I was unsure of what was going on, I had a thought but how could that be? hes straight and hes known me for years and the fact that Im gay for a year, then he leaned in towards me and I found words failed me but he did notice I didnt lean in towards him though I did still rub his back, he held my arm and stood up and said again lower. I blushed and stopped rubbing his back so he sat back down and pulled me closer to him and we kissed.
After a bit of kissing we heard people outside and I said we should get back to the party, he sighed and agreed. Now Im really confused and the fact that nothing seems to have changed about how we hang out or whatever and I deffinately havent told anyone what happened, I dno how my room mate would take it if we got together and its not like he has said anything to me about it either and I feel really confused about the whole thing. He deffinately has the personality Im attracted to and I think he would be a great boyfriend but he has never seemed gay to anyone, including me and I have a built in gay dar lol And hes been with quite a number of girls.
I dont know what to do next because I would like to have a boyfriend again, I really want a boyfriend again really lol but I dont think my room mate would be ok with it and I still dont think he is gay.
So I am at a bit of a loss to be honest.