Oh god, here I go.
Yeah, I suppose this would be my first coming out on these forums. Not that it really matters. I don't really stick around and I'm not popular enough for people to care about that sort of thing, lol. I'm currently out of the closet to my family, except for one of my sisters. She's special needs, and she doesn't understand that it's completely natural and right. So, before I come out to her, I'm gonna work with my dad on educating her first. Thus, she isn't going to yell or think that her younger brother is a complete freak. Until then though, it's going to be an interesting experience. She still shoots jokes my way about trying to get a girlfriend and stuff. She's such a character, you have to love her. Anyways.
It's really sort of uneventful with me. I'm still in high school right now. I'm in an advanced program with a bunch of peers who know who I am, and some of whom I've been with school since grade 3. This same group of students take all of their academic courses together. Thing is, many of them have slid gay jokes about me. Never really understood why, to be totally honest. Right, now I remember. Sometimes I do that stupid little hand flick thing, the one that's seen as a stereotype. Teenagers being teenagers sort of picked it out. It became a running gag in my class. I was the “Gay friend who isn't actually gay”. So they never thought I was, per see. Just that I happened to have the tendency. I never bothered trying to stop it, things got out of hand, and I never really payed attention to what my sexuality was before anyways.
Weird thing about that. I was never really keen on girls. Even when I was growing up, I stuck closer to the male characters in books, movies, TV shows or video games. I don't think that really matters, but whatever. As a little kid I found friends with the boys my age, and the girls. I don't even know when the whole sexual attraction thing started. For simplicity's sake, I'll just say it was grade 8, when high school started and when people got into relationships for the lulz. I'm not really experienced with dating, not that I really mind at this point. So, I've dated a couple of girls. One that sort of faded out because people were pushing me into doing stuff that I wasn't comfortable with. It was really silly actually; I was supposed to be just treating her like a girlfriend. Except I couldn't bring myself to do it. I mean, she was nice, and I liked her, but I didn't see it going anywhere past a friendship, right? The other time I just dated the girl because she apparently liked me, and she was all clingy and I felt uncomfortable again.
It was sometime between this first and second girl where I was really starting to think that I liked guys. I mean, I had thoughts as soon as I entered high school. The one thing that I continually questioned was what my stance was with women from the whole sexual view. I continually thought, well, what if I'm bisexual? That was the entire goal when I dated that second girl. Selfish on my part, but there was also a lot of selfishness on her part so I'm calling that one fair game. Anyways, after all this long self discovery, I have what I think is a representation of how I see myself. Calling myself 100% gay, and I finally discovered this when I was around 15. So I always found it sort of weird how kids just claim to have known always. Looking back, I see myself, but never actually for sure knowing until now. Huh.
So yeah. I'd really like to try a relationship with another man. Yeah, that's the end of my huge tl;dr. Nice to see a group like this; you can find support in a lot of places if you look.
