The Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual Alliance Club

[Fused]

well my sister found out I am gay and talking to guys online and told my mom and dad all about it so I am lossing my lap top, car and cell phone so I guess this is good bye for now

I wish you all good luck in your relationships

What?

1) You're sister, I'm sorry, sounds like a *****. What a little tattle-tale.
2) You're parents sound like controlling, obsessive, nutjobs. What is taking your computer, phone or car going to change? besides the fact that they have destroyed your social life?

Hey everyone, im 16 and also gay, but havent came out to my parents yet. Im looking for help, because i know that my dad won't accept it and not sure about my mom's opinion because she has gay friends and talks about them all the time. Should i only tell her and just hide it from my dad until I'm out of the house? Or should i do it with both of them around and just hope for the best?

Thanks... Still don't feel right about only tellling my mom, and keeping a secret this big from him. But I dont want to risk telling him and having him not like me anymore, should I just wait it out or what?

Why do you think your dad won't accept you?

I've noticed that people who put off coming out usually exaggerate within their minds how bad things will be.

And remember, its easier for family members to be anti-gay when they don't know that they have gay family. If and when you tell him, just make sure he knows that you're still the same person, the only thing that has changed is what he knows about you.

I agree with Takaru about talking to your Mom about all of this. She's known your father a lot longer than you have and she knows things about him that you might not know, so she can probably give a pretty good opinion. Just ask her why he might be anti-gay, if you should tell him, ask her the best way to tell him, or even if she'll help you tell him.

I have a question to anyone that came out. Did your family start treating you differently once you came out? That was my biggest problem. I didn't want anyone to treat me different especially my parents. I was the same person. Just a gay person.

Different treatment? Maybe just some pronouns, but I can't say it was anything out of the ordinary. Then again, my family is a little crazy to begin with.

 

[almighty umbreon]

Hey everyone! Feels like it's been years since I've been here... Anyway, Shaqtus, congrats. That's a biiiig step and you're very lucky to have a mother who'd react the way she did. I'm a little jealous. But yeah, congrats, and good luck with your father whenever the time comes.

 

[BLABO]

It seems everybody is discussing coming out to your parents/family right now. I was thinking about it the other day, and I think I will wait a little while... you see if I don't tell my family I can still have sleep-overs with guys without anybody getting worried ;3

 

[irishdax]

I've got a date on Tuesday :-/

I don't really do well with fella's...I'm always afraid I say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing...or afraid that I'm not letting them get close...ahh

 

[Aegon]

I've got a date on Tuesday :-/

I don't really do well with fella's...I'm always afraid I say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing...or afraid that I'm not letting them get close...ahh

I'm sure you'll be fine, fellow Irishman.

 

[Kdude146]

I've got a date on Tuesday :-/

I don't really do well with fella's...I'm always afraid I say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing...or afraid that I'm not letting them get close...ahh

I think everything will be fine just relax and be your self I wish you the best of luck


also I want you guys to know I am now 100% over Joshua and I am going to put myself back on the dating market

 

[Dawn_Hero]

Meh...

Growing up I always had a cousin named Suzanne who was a lesbian. She was the closest thing I had to a sister when I was younger, and she was an amazing role model about how far people in the GLBT community can persevere over hatred and do well for themselves. She was incredibly sweet.

I found out today she passed away from brain cancer at the age of 32. :S Aside from the obvious grieving going on, I also remain as the only gay person left in a family of conservative christians. Somewhat of a double-whammy, I suppose.

Not here to bring up drama, though. I have good news, too. ^^;; After speaking with my boyfriend, I've realized what I want to do - in one year, I think I may move away to Finland. I can't afford college, but once I become a citizen university is free. I've also always wanted to get away from America and learn what it's like in other cultures and areas, especially places in Europe. I need to save up for the flight over and also learn Finnish, but my boyfriend is helping me with that. He said I'm more than welcome to live with him until I get on my feet there, so I have to admit I'm incredibly excited. I've always wanted to go to Europe, so this opportunity is amazing. :3 Don't know if I'll be able to go through with it right away, but oh well... It's a good plan, at least. Lol.

 

[BLABO]

wtf, some kid I know just posted a screen capture of a message I sent him saying I'm gay to troll on me, I reported him... but that is just so immature and mean. I hope he gets banned ):<

 

[irishdax]

I'm sure you'll be fine, fellow Irishman.

I think everything will be fine just relax and be your self I wish you the best of luck

Thanks you guys. I think they date might be ok as i've met him a few times already as friends...it's more the 'what happens after the date' that I'm more worried about...

 

[Kdude146]

@ DH I am so sorry to here that your cousin died if you need to talk I am here for you

 

[Dawn_Hero]

wtf, some kid I know just posted a screen capture of a message I sent him saying I'm gay to troll on me, I reported him... but that is just so immature and mean. I hope he gets banned ):<

BLABO, some people are just jerks. With luck, he'll get a hefty amount of infractions for harassment.

@irishdax - Well, there's no knowing until you try. (; Good luck with the date. I have a feeling everything will go wonderfully for you!

@ice wolf- thank you very much. ^^ I'm lucky to have a strong family, where we're each getting each other through it. That's sweet of you to offer.

 

[Aegon]

@Dawn Hero, sorry to hear about your cousin. But Finland sounds fun! There seems to be a lot of positives for you if you go. Hope it works out.

 

[DarkDragon]

I'd like to join. I was heavily involved in the shiny lovers clubs a few years back. Some of my friends from there are here.

Yesterday, without intending to do so, I posted a cruel remark about one of those people. I thought he'd acted as if he'd had a crush on me in the past, and I said so. But I had no idea at the time that he had come out as gay.

So now I feel terrible. I'd take back the comment if I could, but words once released are free forever.

So I'd like to join here, to support and be supported. My two best friends are agay couple who have been together for over 17 years, and they are better to me than any family could ever be.

I'm ashamed for embarrassing a former friend and losing that friend forever. I hope he reads this and reopens communications, but I doubt he will.

So help me, please, so that I can stop myself from hurting anyone else like that again.

May I join?

 

[cannibaleyes]

Your parents will find out eventully. Parents have a 6th sence for this kind of thing.

Haha, I'm pretty sure my mom knew waay before I did. xD
Then again, I recently found out that apparently not everyone's parents are as intuitive as mine. And there still might be a chance that my dad doesn't know (although I'd be shocked if he hasn't started to suspect it by now...).

Apparently, my mom recently told my cousin that I'm lesbian.. I kind of don't like that she just told her without asking me if it was okay first. I don't care that my cousin knows, but... I guess I kind of just wanted to be the one to tell her myself if it ever came up. My cousin still isn't fully convinced that I am, which is something I always fear when I'm coming out to people. -.-

@DarkDragon: I'm not very active on this thread, so I don't know if a random person like me is able to officially approve your membership (lol, I'm not even sure if I'm officially a member... xD), but I'm sure that you're definitely welcome here. ^__^

 

[Manafi's Dream]

Meh...

Growing up I always had a cousin named Suzanne who was a lesbian. She was the closest thing I had to a sister when I was younger, and she was an amazing role model about how far people in the GLBT community can persevere over hatred and do well for themselves. She was incredibly sweet.

I found out today she passed away from brain cancer at the age of 32. :S Aside from the obvious grieving going on, I also remain as the only gay person left in a family of conservative christians. Somewhat of a double-whammy, I suppose.

Not here to bring up drama, though. I have good news, too. ^^;; After speaking with my boyfriend, I've realized what I want to do - in one year, I think I may move away to Finland. I can't afford college, but once I become a citizen university is free. I've also always wanted to get away from America and learn what it's like in other cultures and areas, especially places in Europe. I need to save up for the flight over and also learn Finnish, but my boyfriend is helping me with that. He said I'm more than welcome to live with him until I get on my feet there, so I have to admit I'm incredibly excited. I've always wanted to go to Europe, so this opportunity is amazing. :3 Don't know if I'll be able to go through with it right away, but oh well... It's a good plan, at least. Lol.

DH, I hop you have an amazing time in Finland when you go! I, too, long to travel outside of the US and experience life in other areas. After seeing many of the horrors of our society, I hope to find something better out there.

I've heard eastern and northeastern European languages are difficult to learn, so I wish you luck in your studies! You're very lucky. I've always wanted to learn Japanese or Malagasy

It sounds like you have a solid plan that should get you through your studies. I hope you find what you're looking for in Finland!

~Manafi's Dream

 

[If U Seek Amy]

Not here to bring up drama, though. I have good news, too. ^^;; After speaking with my boyfriend, I've realized what I want to do - in one year, I think I may move away to Finland. I can't afford college, but once I become a citizen university is free. I've also always wanted to get away from America and learn what it's like in other cultures and areas, especially places in Europe. I need to save up for the flight over and also learn Finnish, but my boyfriend is helping me with that. He said I'm more than welcome to live with him until I get on my feet there, so I have to admit I'm incredibly excited. I've always wanted to go to Europe, so this opportunity is amazing. :3 Don't know if I'll be able to go through with it right away, but oh well... It's a good plan, at least. Lol.

I hope things work out. I personally don't ever wish to permanently move away from America. But seeing other cultures is something I will definitely do one day. I guess that's just the patriotism within me, but I hope everything goes well for you and your BF!

 

[Dawn_Hero]

Thank you, Speed Suicune, you're too kind.

It sounds like you have a solid plan that should get you through your studies. I hope you find what you're looking for in Finland!

Good luck in Japanese and Malagasy. And thank you very much for your well wishes. I've actually decided it would be best to post-pone my moving there until after I finish four years of university, so that way I'll really have a chance to get to know people better here and say good-bye more appropriately. Besides, 20's a much better age to leave than 18, I think. I feel I'd be more prepared for the world. :] Hahah.

EDIT: Thanks, RulerOfUnova! You posted as I was typing this out. xD Yeah, I'll probably come back eventually... But I'd still love to move away for a couple decades or something hahah. Patriotism ftw.

Anyways, I know this probably has gotten brought up a lot, but I haven't seen it mentioned lately and I'm curious as to what people think of it. Plus, this thread seems a bit... Inactive... So a new conversation topic would be nice.

Do you feel that homosexuality is a choice, or are you born that way?

For supporters who aren't GLBT, still feel free to answer the question after thinking about it. I'm sure it's been brought up a million and a half times by now, but I'm curious. I never once felt like I had a choice in being bisexual - I fought it as much as I could until I just couldn't fight anymore. I had assumed it was obvious to everyone that it was never a choice, but at my local university when I had told a homophobic preacher screaming outside our school that being gay wasn't a choice a fellow gay student walked up and yelled that it actually was. Ever since I've been curious how many other people feel this way.

 

[Kdude146]

I have good news Joshua got his cell phone back and we talked on msn for 5 hours last night and we both still love each other but he does not think we should date just in case something like this happens again cuz he does not want me to go though that pain again I also I asked another guy out he's going though a lot of stuff right now and thinks I should go back to Joshua but Joshua thinks I should go to him. what ended up happaning is Alex the name of the guy asked out said I can wait for him if I want but If I find someone eles that makes me happy then go for him/her and the only one who can do that is Joshua so I am going to try to get him back cuz we still have the same feelings for each other that we had two weeks ago when his parents took everything away from him

 

[BLABO]

@Icewolf... I think that I am not gay by choice, but I don't want to be straight ^_^
Isn't there scientific proof that it's genetic?

 

[Fused]

Do you feel that homosexuality is a choice, or are you born that way?

Isn't there scientific proof that it's genetic?

There have been studies, but they aren't conclusive.

I think genetic is too strong, too specific a term. There probably isn't just one reason for any kind of sexuality, and each cause more than likely has different degrees of strength. That's probably why different people might feel different levels of attraction; Why bisexuals might prefer one sex more than the other but still like both; why gay men either never question their feelings or they might have a moment where there's some serious confusion.

I don't think its safe to say any one thing defines sexuality. Its probably a mix of biological and environmental factors.