Hello.
I am a heterosexual girl, and a recently fell in love with a friend of mine. My problem is, that he is homosexual ... (How often does that happen to you guys, falling in love with someone with a different sexuality? :/ )
I am frustrated, because I knew he was homosexual when I fell in love with him, and I still did.
Plus, I have to hide my feelings. He doesn't want to come out, and got me to swear on not telling anyone about his sexuality. I have to pretend in front of everyone, that he is hetero and we are just friends.
I feel I have to tell someone about this though, without breaking my promise, so that's why I'm here.
I guess the feelings will go away eventually, but yeah. :/
Any advice, or just encouragement, please?
Late but this happened to me with my current best friend actually. I met him in Grade 9, we were both fourteen at the time and felt instant attraction from the moment we first spoke; he was cute, nice, funny, we both liked the same kind of videogames, and best of all we had such similar tastes in music. I really liked him, so as most semi-awkward fourteen year olds do, I messaged him every day
on Facebook; hoping to learn more about him and maybe slip some hints that I was super interested. He had an older sister, only a year older than us so not a significant age gap and I was friends with her as well so I had a sleepover at their house the one night and told his sister that I had a massive thing for her little bro.
... Now at this point he wasn't out, but his mother and sister knew that he was completely gay and not interested in girls at all. His sister gave me encouragement but went to him the next day after I left and told him I had a massive thing for him. Surprisingly nothing changed between us, and we actually became closer, come grade 10 I still had super strong feelings but one night while I was hanging out with him after school he told me that he was actually gay and felt that he could trust me as we had become so close. You see, I was frustrated at first but I accepted it gradually and we just continued with our friendship.
Four years later and he's still my best friend, he means the world to me and he's honestly like a brother to me. I love him a lot but in a different way, him and I even talk every day, never missing a beat.
I'm not sure if this helps you out at all but to keep it brief, maintain your friendship no matter what, and learn to love him as a friend.
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Updates from me, following that statement:
Recently broke up with my boyfriend. It had hit five months before we broke up but he got super pressurey about sex and whatnot, not really cool with me considering I'm an asexual and sex actually somewhat repulses me. (Personal thing, nothing against people who do it, it's just how I am.) He also ended up not graduating, which caused him to make me buy a forty dollar banquet ticket for him to attend my grad and then BAIL ON ME THE NIGHT OF GRAD/PROM. We had broken up a week before prom but he had told me that no matter what we'd maintain a friendship and he'd come as my "just friend" date which was really cool considering he was one of my best friends before we started dating. All seemed well until I waited at the gates for half an hour with my no show date. My best friend helped me through it, and called up my best girl friend, Ashley to help fix my makeup so I still looked bomb after crying. We managed to get a hold of my beautiful saint of a friend Dana, who became my date in her lovely suit saying that "I'll pull off a suit way better than that jerk."
Otherwise, life's been good; living the graduated life, working full time and playing videogames. Starting my college stuff in September; what a nice time. :>
Plus 18 in a month meaning I can legally drink where I live.~
