Neko Godot
Hey! Listen!
THE FINAL EPISODE IS NOW POSTED!!! So here's a little fan fiction I conjured up in order to practice writing screenplays. Oh no, it's a script! (Oooooh, it's so unorthodox and spooky!) I used a wonderful program named Celtx that does all the proper formatting for me, but since I can't copy and paste the formatting, it won't look as professional here as it does on the PDF. Anyway, just a few things to note, this is basically written as The Office or the superior Parks and Recreation, except instead of an office it takes place at Brock's gym. Also, when you see (Talking Head) or (T.H.) in the script, it means the character is doing one of those interviews to the camera you see so much in reality shows. Anyway, here we go!
Episode 01: The Reporter
Episode 02: Exercise Tapes
Episode 03: Spelunking
Episode 04: The Challenger
Episode 05: Ribbon Cutting
Episode 06: The Convention
Episode 07: The Fangirl
Episode 08: Sweepstakes Mania
Episode 09: Kanto Gym Leader Council
Episode 10: The Trial
Episode 11: The Inspection
Episode 12: Brown Nosing
Episode 13: Sycophant Search
INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA
BROCK is pacing around the gym, giving directions to LIAM. The gym itself is just a large, drab, brown room, littered with rocks around.
BROCK
So I'm going to need you to polish up all the rocks so they look nice and rocky. And can you mop the floors too? They haven't been mopped since my parents visited... two years ago.
LIAM
Yes sir! I'll be done with that in hardly any light years!
Brock
How many times do I have to tell you, Liam? Light years measure distance, not time!
Brock (Talking head)
I'm Brock, and I'm the gym leader of the Pewter City Gym. I've been leading the gym for a while now, and it's basically become my home. Actually, it is my home. I stopped paying the rent on my apartment. Anyway, it's great that you're filming this documentary, as I believe there's a lot of effort that goes into being a gym leader beyond battling that the public should be aware of. Like... um... well, personally, for me, I sink a ton of time into coming up with rock puns. Yeah, so there's that and the battling too. Some days I just get exhausted from all the work.
LIAM begins polishing all the rocks around the gym as BROCK watches him with his arms crossed. LIAM starts complaining as he wipes his brow.
As LIAM continues to clean, a knocking noise comes in from the outside.
LIAM runs off carrying polish and a mop to the office as BROCK goes over to the gym's entrance and opens the door. A girl, GLADYS, walks into the gym.
GLADYS looks around and stares at the camera for a bit.
INT. PEWTER CITY GYM OFFICE
LIAM is scurrying to find a place to put the cleaning supplies as BROCK and GLADYS enter.
GLADYS rummages through her purse until she takes out a tape recorder.
GLADYS turns the recorder on.
EXT. OUTSIDE PEWTER CITY GYM
With the interview complete, both BROCK and LIAM go outside to wish GLADYS goodbye.
BROCK is visibly hurt.
GLADYS walks away from the gym. BROCK and LIAM watch her leave.
INT. PEWTER BAR
BROCK and LIAM are sitting at the bar. The BARTENDER walks up to them.
BROCK points to a blond girl, JOYCE, sitting at a table by herself.
The BARTENDER passes the drinks to BROCK and LIAM.
BROCK chugs down the white whine spritzer in one gulp as LIAM watches, horrified.
BROCK swaggers over to JOYCE as LIAM watches, cringing.
JOYCE breaks out into a fit of giggles as BROCK stands, dumbfounded.
JOYCE breaks out into even more giggling.
BROCK returns to the bar table, his spirits diminished, as LIAM sips on his Shirley Temple.
INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA
The next day, BROCK is pacing around the gym in a panic, as LIAM agrees with his every word.
A knocking is heard from outside.
BROCK heads over to the door and opens it to find a TRAINER waiting.
With that, BROCK slams the door.
INT. PEWTER CITY GAZETTE OFFICES
LIAM walks into the Pewter City Gazette Offices. He's wearing an earpiece and a watch with a microphone in it that allows him to communicate with Brock.
LIAM approaches the front desk to talk to a SECRETARY.
LIAM enters the office as Brock complains to him through the earpiece.
LIAM walks around and finally finds a door marked "GLADYS'S OFFICE", but is dismayed to find GLADYS is in the office after taking a quick peek. He speaks into the watch.
LIAM sneaks around the office, until he finds a door marked "EDITOR IN CHIEF". LIAM knocks on the door and the EDITOR IN CHIEF opens it.
As the EDITOR IN CHIEF heads to his desk to call GLADYS, LIAM sneaks around and hides around the corner of the outside of her office. He watches as GLADYS storms out of the office, fuming.
With GLADYS gone for the moment, LIAM hurries into her office. He looks around her desk, and sees on her computer she's working on an article about a robbery at the Pewter City Pokémart due that day. LIAM speaks into the watch.
LIAM fumbles around the desk for a bit until he finally finds the tape recorder stuffed away in a drawer.
LIAM takes a blank tape out of his pocket, removes the tape from the recorder, and puts the blank tape in, putting the tape with the interview in his pocket. Before he goes, he takes a pencil and writes "LIAM WAZ HERE" on the underside of the desk.
He runs out of the office, closes the door, and makes his exit.
With that, LIAM leaves the Pewter City Gazette Offices.
INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA
LIAM skips into the gym.
LIAM places the tape in the middle of the arena.
BROCK throws a Pokéball and releases GEODUDE, a floating rock with arms coming out of its sides.
GEODUDE floats over to one of the many rocks that litter the floor of the arena, picks it up, floats over to the tape, and smashes it with the rock. The tape flies all over into pieces, and BROCK and LIAM cheer.
INT. PEWTER CITY GAZETTE OFFICES
GLADYS returns to her office, still fuming.
GLADYS sits at her desk, opens a new page on her word processor, and takes out the tape recorder. She presses play, but nothing plays back to her.
GLADYS takes more tapes out from her desk, puts them in the recorder, and plays them, but none of them are the recording she wants.
THE GYM
Episode 01: The Reporter
Episode 02: Exercise Tapes
Episode 03: Spelunking
Episode 04: The Challenger
Episode 05: Ribbon Cutting
Episode 06: The Convention
Episode 07: The Fangirl
Episode 08: Sweepstakes Mania
Episode 09: Kanto Gym Leader Council
Episode 10: The Trial
Episode 11: The Inspection
Episode 12: Brown Nosing
Episode 13: Sycophant Search
Episode 1: The Reporter
INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA
BROCK is pacing around the gym, giving directions to LIAM. The gym itself is just a large, drab, brown room, littered with rocks around.
BROCK
So I'm going to need you to polish up all the rocks so they look nice and rocky. And can you mop the floors too? They haven't been mopped since my parents visited... two years ago.
LIAM
Yes sir! I'll be done with that in hardly any light years!
Brock
How many times do I have to tell you, Liam? Light years measure distance, not time!
Brock (Talking head)
I'm Brock, and I'm the gym leader of the Pewter City Gym. I've been leading the gym for a while now, and it's basically become my home. Actually, it is my home. I stopped paying the rent on my apartment. Anyway, it's great that you're filming this documentary, as I believe there's a lot of effort that goes into being a gym leader beyond battling that the public should be aware of. Like... um... well, personally, for me, I sink a ton of time into coming up with rock puns. Yeah, so there's that and the battling too. Some days I just get exhausted from all the work.
LIAM begins polishing all the rocks around the gym as BROCK watches him with his arms crossed. LIAM starts complaining as he wipes his brow.
LIAM
What's the cause for all this cleaning anyway?
BROCK
That really isn't any of your business.
BROCK (T.H.)
Liam is under my employ here at the gym. He's my assistant, so that means he basically does all the stuff I don't feel like doing. He's great having around when I have to get a colonoscopy! But anyway, why do I have him cleaning up the place? There's a girl coming over! I met her at this bar last night. I walked up to her said, "Hey, I'm a gym leader," and she said, "Wow, that's cool, can I come over the gym tomorrow?" I said, "Sure, and I'll be sure to rock your world," and she giggled a bit, and then I said, "Get it, because I train rock types?" and she said, "I got it." Hands down it's the most successful social interaction with a girl I've ever had.
LIAM (T.H.)
Hi, I'm Liam! I work here as Brock's assistant. Apparently I got the job because no one else applied, which I just don't understand! Who wouldn't want to be Brock's assistant? What's wrong with him? It's great training. I totally want to be a gym leader when I grow up. I heard that this girl Maylene became a gym leader in Sinnoh and she's only a year older than me, so I have high hopes! Sometimes the job can be really taxing though. I don't think I can go through another colonoscopy.
What's the cause for all this cleaning anyway?
BROCK
That really isn't any of your business.
BROCK (T.H.)
Liam is under my employ here at the gym. He's my assistant, so that means he basically does all the stuff I don't feel like doing. He's great having around when I have to get a colonoscopy! But anyway, why do I have him cleaning up the place? There's a girl coming over! I met her at this bar last night. I walked up to her said, "Hey, I'm a gym leader," and she said, "Wow, that's cool, can I come over the gym tomorrow?" I said, "Sure, and I'll be sure to rock your world," and she giggled a bit, and then I said, "Get it, because I train rock types?" and she said, "I got it." Hands down it's the most successful social interaction with a girl I've ever had.
LIAM (T.H.)
Hi, I'm Liam! I work here as Brock's assistant. Apparently I got the job because no one else applied, which I just don't understand! Who wouldn't want to be Brock's assistant? What's wrong with him? It's great training. I totally want to be a gym leader when I grow up. I heard that this girl Maylene became a gym leader in Sinnoh and she's only a year older than me, so I have high hopes! Sometimes the job can be really taxing though. I don't think I can go through another colonoscopy.
As LIAM continues to clean, a knocking noise comes in from the outside.
BROCK
Ah ****, she's here already! Liam, hide the cleaning supplies in my office! I don't want her thinking I cleaned especially for her!
LIAM
Yes, sir!
Ah ****, she's here already! Liam, hide the cleaning supplies in my office! I don't want her thinking I cleaned especially for her!
LIAM
Yes, sir!
LIAM runs off carrying polish and a mop to the office as BROCK goes over to the gym's entrance and opens the door. A girl, GLADYS, walks into the gym.
GLADYS
Hi Brock, how's it going?
Hi Brock, how's it going?
GLADYS looks around and stares at the camera for a bit.
GLADYS
What's with the camera?
BROCK
Wait, how did you know my name?!
GLADYS
I live in Pewter City. Everyone knows who the gym leader is.
BROCK
Oh, that makes more sense than what I was thinking. I thought you were a stalker. Now, I wouldn't be completely put off by that idea. Actually, it's kind of hot thinking that someone would stalk me.
GLADYS
Okay...
BROCK
So what's your name, anyway?
GLADYS
I'm Gladys, I'm a reporter with the Pewter City Gazette.
GLADYS (T.H.)
Being a member of the press isn't exactly as glamorous as it's made out to be. When you work in local news, like myself, you do get to meet your fair share of celebrities, but I wouldn't even consider them D-list. Probably Z-list. You know, like some guy that saved a girl being attacked by a Fearow, or Brock. But really, why is this being filmed? How do I look on camera?
BROCK (T.H.)
Damn, I bagged a reporter! Maybe she can arrange a meeting between me and that guy who saved a girl from that Fearow!
BROCK
So what do you think of the place? This is the Pewter City Gym, my pride and joy!
GLADYS
It's kind of messy. I mean, there are all these rocks, just sitting around. Do you have an office we can use?
BROCK
Oh, of course! I'd never do it out here anyway!
GLADYS
It's good to see we're on the same page.
BROCK (T.H.)
Good old Brock is getting laid today!
What's with the camera?
BROCK
Wait, how did you know my name?!
GLADYS
I live in Pewter City. Everyone knows who the gym leader is.
BROCK
Oh, that makes more sense than what I was thinking. I thought you were a stalker. Now, I wouldn't be completely put off by that idea. Actually, it's kind of hot thinking that someone would stalk me.
GLADYS
Okay...
BROCK
So what's your name, anyway?
GLADYS
I'm Gladys, I'm a reporter with the Pewter City Gazette.
GLADYS (T.H.)
Being a member of the press isn't exactly as glamorous as it's made out to be. When you work in local news, like myself, you do get to meet your fair share of celebrities, but I wouldn't even consider them D-list. Probably Z-list. You know, like some guy that saved a girl being attacked by a Fearow, or Brock. But really, why is this being filmed? How do I look on camera?
BROCK (T.H.)
Damn, I bagged a reporter! Maybe she can arrange a meeting between me and that guy who saved a girl from that Fearow!
BROCK
So what do you think of the place? This is the Pewter City Gym, my pride and joy!
GLADYS
It's kind of messy. I mean, there are all these rocks, just sitting around. Do you have an office we can use?
BROCK
Oh, of course! I'd never do it out here anyway!
GLADYS
It's good to see we're on the same page.
BROCK (T.H.)
Good old Brock is getting laid today!
INT. PEWTER CITY GYM OFFICE
LIAM is scurrying to find a place to put the cleaning supplies as BROCK and GLADYS enter.
GLADYS
Oh dear, look at all those cleaning products? You didn't clean the place up for me, did you?
BROCK
****.
GLADYS
What was that?
BROCK
Nothing.
BROCK (T.H.)
I didn't want her thinking I cleaned up the place special for her. The last thing a girl wants to think is that you'd go out of your way for them.
GLADYS
So who's this young man anyway?
LIAM
I'm Liam. I'm the gym assistant.
BROCK
Well Liam, thanks for helping out, but I think you should head back out and find some work to do in the arena. Gladys and I are going to be busy in here.
GLADYS
I don't have any problem if he wants to stay for the interview.
BROCK
Interview?
GLADYS
Of course. I'm here to interview the Pewter City Gym Leader. Why else would I come all the way here?
BROCK (T.H.)
I guess Gladys and I had a failure to communicate. I thought she was talking about sex, and she thought I was talking about an interview. Frankly, I think all the blame falls on her. Why the hell would I want an interview?
LIAM
I want to stay for this. It could be fun!
GLADYS
The boy wants to stay, Brock.
BROCK
Fine, he can stay!
Oh dear, look at all those cleaning products? You didn't clean the place up for me, did you?
BROCK
****.
GLADYS
What was that?
BROCK
Nothing.
BROCK (T.H.)
I didn't want her thinking I cleaned up the place special for her. The last thing a girl wants to think is that you'd go out of your way for them.
GLADYS
So who's this young man anyway?
LIAM
I'm Liam. I'm the gym assistant.
BROCK
Well Liam, thanks for helping out, but I think you should head back out and find some work to do in the arena. Gladys and I are going to be busy in here.
GLADYS
I don't have any problem if he wants to stay for the interview.
BROCK
Interview?
GLADYS
Of course. I'm here to interview the Pewter City Gym Leader. Why else would I come all the way here?
BROCK (T.H.)
I guess Gladys and I had a failure to communicate. I thought she was talking about sex, and she thought I was talking about an interview. Frankly, I think all the blame falls on her. Why the hell would I want an interview?
LIAM
I want to stay for this. It could be fun!
GLADYS
The boy wants to stay, Brock.
BROCK
Fine, he can stay!
GLADYS rummages through her purse until she takes out a tape recorder.
GLADYS
I'm just going to record the conversation. It's easier than writing everything down.
BROCK
That's not a problem.
I'm just going to record the conversation. It's easier than writing everything down.
BROCK
That's not a problem.
GLADYS turns the recorder on.
GLADYS
So, do you get a lot of challengers at the gym?
BROCK
Do I get a lot of potential challengers? Yes. Do I actually battle them? Hell no! I always turn all the lights off and lock the door to make it seem as if the gym is closed.
GLADYS
So you don't actually battle anyone?
BROCK
Well, sometimes I'll be in the middle of coming up with a great string of rock puns. I can't be bothered to interrupt that with a battle.
GLADYS
But isn't that your job? To battle?
BROCK
I'm a gym leader. I have many jobs. The first one is to best exemplify the Rock type. How do I do that? Rock puns.
GLADYS
What are these other jobs?
BROCK
Well, I also consider myself a mentor to the Pewter City youth. I go spelunking a lot at Mt. Moon. Sometimes I go speak at Rock type conventions. And then I'd say, all the way at the bottom, would be "Pokémon Battler".
GLADYS
If that's what you say.
BROCK
I did say.
GLADYS
Okay... so... next question... what is it about the Rock type that drew you to it?
BROCK
Well, Rock types are strong, just like me! And you know, I've always liked Onix, because it's long and hard and reminds me of something else I have. Want to see?
GLADYS
The Onix or your penis?
BROCK
Penis? Who said that?
GLADYS
Maybe you were right in wanting Liam to leave.
LIAM
Oh no, this is great! I've never seen an interview before!
BROCK (T.H.)
This interview is going great! I even got her to bring up my penis! NOW I know I'm getting laid today!
So, do you get a lot of challengers at the gym?
BROCK
Do I get a lot of potential challengers? Yes. Do I actually battle them? Hell no! I always turn all the lights off and lock the door to make it seem as if the gym is closed.
GLADYS
So you don't actually battle anyone?
BROCK
Well, sometimes I'll be in the middle of coming up with a great string of rock puns. I can't be bothered to interrupt that with a battle.
GLADYS
But isn't that your job? To battle?
BROCK
I'm a gym leader. I have many jobs. The first one is to best exemplify the Rock type. How do I do that? Rock puns.
GLADYS
What are these other jobs?
BROCK
Well, I also consider myself a mentor to the Pewter City youth. I go spelunking a lot at Mt. Moon. Sometimes I go speak at Rock type conventions. And then I'd say, all the way at the bottom, would be "Pokémon Battler".
GLADYS
If that's what you say.
BROCK
I did say.
GLADYS
Okay... so... next question... what is it about the Rock type that drew you to it?
BROCK
Well, Rock types are strong, just like me! And you know, I've always liked Onix, because it's long and hard and reminds me of something else I have. Want to see?
GLADYS
The Onix or your penis?
BROCK
Penis? Who said that?
GLADYS
Maybe you were right in wanting Liam to leave.
LIAM
Oh no, this is great! I've never seen an interview before!
BROCK (T.H.)
This interview is going great! I even got her to bring up my penis! NOW I know I'm getting laid today!
EXT. OUTSIDE PEWTER CITY GYM
With the interview complete, both BROCK and LIAM go outside to wish GLADYS goodbye.
GLADYS
Well, that was quite an unusual interview. The readers of the Pewter City Gazette are going to eat this up?
BROCK
Speaking of eating, how about we get dinner tonight?
GLADYS
Oh... um... I have work to do. And also, I'm just not interested in you. At all.
Well, that was quite an unusual interview. The readers of the Pewter City Gazette are going to eat this up?
BROCK
Speaking of eating, how about we get dinner tonight?
GLADYS
Oh... um... I have work to do. And also, I'm just not interested in you. At all.
BROCK is visibly hurt.
BROCK
Oh, okay.
BROCK (T.H.)
I guess I'm not getting laid. And I thought I was really good at interpreting signals!
GLADYS
I'm out of here. I'm sure the Gazette will send you the article once it's published.
Oh, okay.
BROCK (T.H.)
I guess I'm not getting laid. And I thought I was really good at interpreting signals!
GLADYS
I'm out of here. I'm sure the Gazette will send you the article once it's published.
GLADYS walks away from the gym. BROCK and LIAM watch her leave.
LIAM
She wasn't interested in you, but at least the interview went great, right?
BROCK
Oh yeah! She might not want me, but as soon as some babes read that interview, they'll be hunting me down! You know what, we should go out and celebrate! I'm taking you to the bar!
LIAM
I'm underage...
BROCK
Eh, it doesn't matter. I'll get you a fake I.D.
She wasn't interested in you, but at least the interview went great, right?
BROCK
Oh yeah! She might not want me, but as soon as some babes read that interview, they'll be hunting me down! You know what, we should go out and celebrate! I'm taking you to the bar!
LIAM
I'm underage...
BROCK
Eh, it doesn't matter. I'll get you a fake I.D.
INT. PEWTER BAR
BROCK (T.H.)
This is the Pewter Bar, and this is actually where I met Gladys. Hopefully tonight I'll meet someone without ulterior motives... and hopefully with a lot of money!
This is the Pewter Bar, and this is actually where I met Gladys. Hopefully tonight I'll meet someone without ulterior motives... and hopefully with a lot of money!
BROCK and LIAM are sitting at the bar. The BARTENDER walks up to them.
BARTENDER
What can I get you two?
BROCK
I'll just have a white wine spritzer.
LIAM
Shirley Temple.
BARTENDER
Er... okay, if that's what you want.
BROCK
So Liam, do you see any hot girls?
LIAM
Eh, I'm looking.
LIAM (T.H.)
I'm like 7 years younger than him! We aren't going to have the same taste in women! What is he expecting from me?
BROCK
What about that girl over there?
What can I get you two?
BROCK
I'll just have a white wine spritzer.
LIAM
Shirley Temple.
BARTENDER
Er... okay, if that's what you want.
BROCK
So Liam, do you see any hot girls?
LIAM
Eh, I'm looking.
LIAM (T.H.)
I'm like 7 years younger than him! We aren't going to have the same taste in women! What is he expecting from me?
BROCK
What about that girl over there?
BROCK points to a blond girl, JOYCE, sitting at a table by herself.
LIAM
I guess she's alright.
BROCK
She's definitely a solid eight out of ten.
BROCK (T.H.)
I have a Brock Scale of Hotness that I use to rate the attractiveness of every girl I meet. That reporter? Eight out of ten. Erika? Nine out of ten. Misty? Three out of ten. The scale doesn't take kindly to tomboys.
BARTENDER
Here are your drinks.
I guess she's alright.
BROCK
She's definitely a solid eight out of ten.
BROCK (T.H.)
I have a Brock Scale of Hotness that I use to rate the attractiveness of every girl I meet. That reporter? Eight out of ten. Erika? Nine out of ten. Misty? Three out of ten. The scale doesn't take kindly to tomboys.
BARTENDER
Here are your drinks.
The BARTENDER passes the drinks to BROCK and LIAM.
BROCK
This is exactly the liquid courage I need to go talk to that girl!
This is exactly the liquid courage I need to go talk to that girl!
BROCK chugs down the white whine spritzer in one gulp as LIAM watches, horrified.
BROCK (T.H.)
When you're training your Pokémon, you want to make sure they only consume the best products. Hyper potions, antidotes, revives, calciums, HP Ups. You put that stuff in your Pokemon, and you know it'll be the best it can be. I'm the same way with alcohol.
BROCK
Wish me luck.
LIAM
Good luck, sir!
When you're training your Pokémon, you want to make sure they only consume the best products. Hyper potions, antidotes, revives, calciums, HP Ups. You put that stuff in your Pokemon, and you know it'll be the best it can be. I'm the same way with alcohol.
BROCK
Wish me luck.
LIAM
Good luck, sir!
BROCK swaggers over to JOYCE as LIAM watches, cringing.
LIAM (T.H.)
I'm supportive of every decision Brock makes... except when it comes to women.
BROCK
Hey there babe. What's your name?
JOYCE
Oh dear, you're Brock, aren't you? My name is Joyce.
BROCK
So you've heard of me? You know I train Rock types? Want to see my Onix? Ah ****, I messed that line up.
JOYCE
Oh my Arceus, that's almost exactly the same line you used on Gladys!
I'm supportive of every decision Brock makes... except when it comes to women.
BROCK
Hey there babe. What's your name?
JOYCE
Oh dear, you're Brock, aren't you? My name is Joyce.
BROCK
So you've heard of me? You know I train Rock types? Want to see my Onix? Ah ****, I messed that line up.
JOYCE
Oh my Arceus, that's almost exactly the same line you used on Gladys!
JOYCE breaks out into a fit of giggles as BROCK stands, dumbfounded.
BROCK
Gladys? Gladys told you about me? Ah, so you must know about my interview! Don't you think I'm super cool?
JOYCE
Super cool?!
Gladys? Gladys told you about me? Ah, so you must know about my interview! Don't you think I'm super cool?
JOYCE
Super cool?!
JOYCE breaks out into even more giggling.
JOYCE
You're anything BUT super cool! Gladys let me listen to the entire interview! She said she couldn't wait to write her article and expose you for the incompetent and perverted gym leader that you are!
BROCK
Incompetent? Perverted? Gym Leader? Only one of those things describe me! And it's... um... the Gym Leader one! I thought that interview went great!
JOYCE
Really?! Did you have any idea what you were saying?!
BROCK
Yup. I was saying how cool I was.
JOYCE
No! You made a total *** out of yourself! I mean, you told her you bowled a 300 the first time you went bowling?!
BROCK
That's partially true. Some guy two lanes next to me did.
JOYCE
You also told her you were voted Kanto's Sexiest Man Alive?!
BROCK
That's also partially true! Some other guy was!
JOYCE
See what she meant? You're just making a fool of yourself!
BROCK
That's... that's not possible!
BROCK (T.H.)
I thought the interview went really well, I thought the reporter was into me, I thought the fruit in the bowl on the table wasn't wooden and okay to eat... why is everything I think wrong?
You're anything BUT super cool! Gladys let me listen to the entire interview! She said she couldn't wait to write her article and expose you for the incompetent and perverted gym leader that you are!
BROCK
Incompetent? Perverted? Gym Leader? Only one of those things describe me! And it's... um... the Gym Leader one! I thought that interview went great!
JOYCE
Really?! Did you have any idea what you were saying?!
BROCK
Yup. I was saying how cool I was.
JOYCE
No! You made a total *** out of yourself! I mean, you told her you bowled a 300 the first time you went bowling?!
BROCK
That's partially true. Some guy two lanes next to me did.
JOYCE
You also told her you were voted Kanto's Sexiest Man Alive?!
BROCK
That's also partially true! Some other guy was!
JOYCE
See what she meant? You're just making a fool of yourself!
BROCK
That's... that's not possible!
BROCK (T.H.)
I thought the interview went really well, I thought the reporter was into me, I thought the fruit in the bowl on the table wasn't wooden and okay to eat... why is everything I think wrong?
BROCK returns to the bar table, his spirits diminished, as LIAM sips on his Shirley Temple.
BROCK
Liam, did you really think the interview went well?
LIAM
Of course it did! That reporter asked a lot of questions, and you answered all of them!
BROCK
That's not what I meant. The answers I gave: where they flattering or unflattering?
LIAM
I thought they were very flattering, sir!
BROCK (T.H.)
The problem with my only employee being a sycophant is that there's no one around to keep me in check... hm... but I guess on the flip side that can also be a good thing!
Liam, did you really think the interview went well?
LIAM
Of course it did! That reporter asked a lot of questions, and you answered all of them!
BROCK
That's not what I meant. The answers I gave: where they flattering or unflattering?
LIAM
I thought they were very flattering, sir!
BROCK (T.H.)
The problem with my only employee being a sycophant is that there's no one around to keep me in check... hm... but I guess on the flip side that can also be a good thing!
INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA
The next day, BROCK is pacing around the gym in a panic, as LIAM agrees with his every word.
BROCK
If this interview gets out, it's going to be bad news for the Pewter City Gym!
LIAM
That's right!
BROCK
We could get shut down by the Pokémon League!
LIAM
I know!
BROCK
I'd have to find another job!
LIAM
Me too!
BROCK
Liam, for once in your life, can you think of an original thought? Can't you see I'm panicking here?!
LIAM
Yes, I can see, sir!
If this interview gets out, it's going to be bad news for the Pewter City Gym!
LIAM
That's right!
BROCK
We could get shut down by the Pokémon League!
LIAM
I know!
BROCK
I'd have to find another job!
LIAM
Me too!
BROCK
Liam, for once in your life, can you think of an original thought? Can't you see I'm panicking here?!
LIAM
Yes, I can see, sir!
A knocking is heard from outside.
BROCK
****, is that a gym challenger? I don't have time for battles right now!
****, is that a gym challenger? I don't have time for battles right now!
BROCK heads over to the door and opens it to find a TRAINER waiting.
TRAINER
Hey, you're Brock, right? I'm here for a gym battle.
BROCK
I am no speaking the English. Building here under new management. In week, it be Denny's. Please come again!
Hey, you're Brock, right? I'm here for a gym battle.
BROCK
I am no speaking the English. Building here under new management. In week, it be Denny's. Please come again!
With that, BROCK slams the door.
BROCK
I think I handled that quite well.
LIAM (T.H.)
Brock is AMAZING at impressions. I mean, you've already seen his foreigner impression, but he also does a pretty mean Lt. Surge impression too. "Blah blah blah electric Pokémon saved me during the war blah blah!" I do it pretty badly, but if you heard Brock's, it'd be great!
BROCK (T.H.)
Yeah, I do a great Lt. Surge impression. What of it?
BROCK
Anyway, what do we do about this whole reporter situation?
LIAM
Well, she recorded the interview, right?
BROCK
Yup.
LIAM
Well we can record our own fake interview, and then switch the tapes!
BROCK
And how exactly could we do that? Who'd play the reporter's part?
LIAM (T.H.)
Unfortunately, Brock isn't very good at female impressions. Though he's very good at leaving first impressions on females!
BROCK
That gives me another idea though. What if we switched the tape with a blank tape? That way she'd think that she just forgot to turn the recorder on!
LIAM
That's a much better idea! I guess that's why you're the boss!
LIAM (T.H.)
Brock always comes up with better ideas than me! One time, I wanted to just have macoroni for lunch, and he suggested I add cheese to the equation! The man is an innovator!
I think I handled that quite well.
LIAM (T.H.)
Brock is AMAZING at impressions. I mean, you've already seen his foreigner impression, but he also does a pretty mean Lt. Surge impression too. "Blah blah blah electric Pokémon saved me during the war blah blah!" I do it pretty badly, but if you heard Brock's, it'd be great!
BROCK (T.H.)
Yeah, I do a great Lt. Surge impression. What of it?
BROCK
Anyway, what do we do about this whole reporter situation?
LIAM
Well, she recorded the interview, right?
BROCK
Yup.
LIAM
Well we can record our own fake interview, and then switch the tapes!
BROCK
And how exactly could we do that? Who'd play the reporter's part?
LIAM (T.H.)
Unfortunately, Brock isn't very good at female impressions. Though he's very good at leaving first impressions on females!
BROCK
That gives me another idea though. What if we switched the tape with a blank tape? That way she'd think that she just forgot to turn the recorder on!
LIAM
That's a much better idea! I guess that's why you're the boss!
LIAM (T.H.)
Brock always comes up with better ideas than me! One time, I wanted to just have macoroni for lunch, and he suggested I add cheese to the equation! The man is an innovator!
INT. PEWTER CITY GAZETTE OFFICES
LIAM walks into the Pewter City Gazette Offices. He's wearing an earpiece and a watch with a microphone in it that allows him to communicate with Brock.
BROCK (T.H.) (VOICE ONLY)
So it was my idea to use these cool walkie talkie watch things! I only use the coolest of technology! If I could only start getting it on with women, I'd practically be the same as James Bond!
So it was my idea to use these cool walkie talkie watch things! I only use the coolest of technology! If I could only start getting it on with women, I'd practically be the same as James Bond!
LIAM approaches the front desk to talk to a SECRETARY.
LIAM
Hi, I'm from Pewter City Middle School! I'm doing a project on the evils of the left wing media and I was wondering if I could take a look around!
SECRETARY
Of course! I don't see anything wrong with letting a middle school kid and a cameraman run around unaccompanied. I just need your name, kid.
BROCK (V.O.)
Give a fake name!
SECRETARY
What was that?
LIAM
Oh, that was my... er... stomache growling! Anyway, my name is... er... Regis!
SECRETARY
Okay Regis, you and your cameraman can go right ahead!
LIAM
Thank you!
Hi, I'm from Pewter City Middle School! I'm doing a project on the evils of the left wing media and I was wondering if I could take a look around!
SECRETARY
Of course! I don't see anything wrong with letting a middle school kid and a cameraman run around unaccompanied. I just need your name, kid.
BROCK (V.O.)
Give a fake name!
SECRETARY
What was that?
LIAM
Oh, that was my... er... stomache growling! Anyway, my name is... er... Regis!
SECRETARY
Okay Regis, you and your cameraman can go right ahead!
LIAM
Thank you!
LIAM enters the office as Brock complains to him through the earpiece.
BROCK (V.O.)
Why the hell didn't she need the cameraman's name?
Why the hell didn't she need the cameraman's name?
LIAM walks around and finally finds a door marked "GLADYS'S OFFICE", but is dismayed to find GLADYS is in the office after taking a quick peek. He speaks into the watch.
LIAM
Brock, I found her office, but there's a problem. She's in it!
BROCK (V.O.)
I wonder why we didn't see that coming. Oh well. I guess we have to create a distraction now. And whatever you do, DON'T let Gladys see you!
LIAM
I won't.
Brock, I found her office, but there's a problem. She's in it!
BROCK (V.O.)
I wonder why we didn't see that coming. Oh well. I guess we have to create a distraction now. And whatever you do, DON'T let Gladys see you!
LIAM
I won't.
LIAM sneaks around the office, until he finds a door marked "EDITOR IN CHIEF". LIAM knocks on the door and the EDITOR IN CHIEF opens it.
EDITOR IN CHIEF
Huh? Who are you kid? What do you want? Why are you here anyway?
BROCK (V.O.)
Don't tell him the truth!
EDITOR IN CHIEF
What was that?
LIAM
I'm... um... listening to my dog through a radio feed. Anyway, my name is Regis, and I'm with the Kanto National News Network! I just finished up doing an undercover report on corrupt journalism, and that Gladys reporter of yours was the prime target of my study! You better have a good talking to with her about all her corruption!
EDITOR IN CHIEF
What? Is this true? I better talk to her right now! Kid's are innocent, so they'd never lie, especially to a figure of authority like myself!
BROCK (V.O.)
Liam, I'm a figure of authority, so you better not be lying to me too. I hope you're really cleaning the bathrooms when I ask you too.
LIAM
Of course I am!
Huh? Who are you kid? What do you want? Why are you here anyway?
BROCK (V.O.)
Don't tell him the truth!
EDITOR IN CHIEF
What was that?
LIAM
I'm... um... listening to my dog through a radio feed. Anyway, my name is Regis, and I'm with the Kanto National News Network! I just finished up doing an undercover report on corrupt journalism, and that Gladys reporter of yours was the prime target of my study! You better have a good talking to with her about all her corruption!
EDITOR IN CHIEF
What? Is this true? I better talk to her right now! Kid's are innocent, so they'd never lie, especially to a figure of authority like myself!
BROCK (V.O.)
Liam, I'm a figure of authority, so you better not be lying to me too. I hope you're really cleaning the bathrooms when I ask you too.
LIAM
Of course I am!
As the EDITOR IN CHIEF heads to his desk to call GLADYS, LIAM sneaks around and hides around the corner of the outside of her office. He watches as GLADYS storms out of the office, fuming.
GLADYS
What the hell is this, "reports of corruption"? I'll get to the bottom of this ********!
BROCK (V.O.)
I'm not sure if I can approve of language like that in a work environment.
LIAM
But you use language like that at the gym all the time.
BROCK (V.O.)
Yeah, but the gym isn't work, it's more of a fun place. You can use whatever language you want. Enough chat, carry on.
What the hell is this, "reports of corruption"? I'll get to the bottom of this ********!
BROCK (V.O.)
I'm not sure if I can approve of language like that in a work environment.
LIAM
But you use language like that at the gym all the time.
BROCK (V.O.)
Yeah, but the gym isn't work, it's more of a fun place. You can use whatever language you want. Enough chat, carry on.
With GLADYS gone for the moment, LIAM hurries into her office. He looks around her desk, and sees on her computer she's working on an article about a robbery at the Pewter City Pokémart due that day. LIAM speaks into the watch.
LIAM
It looks like she hasn't started the report on you yet.
BROCK (V.O.)
Good! Now find that recorder!
It looks like she hasn't started the report on you yet.
BROCK (V.O.)
Good! Now find that recorder!
LIAM fumbles around the desk for a bit until he finally finds the tape recorder stuffed away in a drawer.
LIAM
Found it!
BROCK (V.O.)
Good! Now switch the tapes!
Found it!
BROCK (V.O.)
Good! Now switch the tapes!
LIAM takes a blank tape out of his pocket, removes the tape from the recorder, and puts the blank tape in, putting the tape with the interview in his pocket. Before he goes, he takes a pencil and writes "LIAM WAZ HERE" on the underside of the desk.
LIAM
Just something to remember me by!
Just something to remember me by!
He runs out of the office, closes the door, and makes his exit.
LIAM
Thanks for everything!
SECRETARY
Don't mention it, Regis!
Thanks for everything!
SECRETARY
Don't mention it, Regis!
With that, LIAM leaves the Pewter City Gazette Offices.
LIAM (T.H.)
That was absolutely thrilling! I haven't breathed so heavily since that time I crapped my pants!
That was absolutely thrilling! I haven't breathed so heavily since that time I crapped my pants!
INT. PEWTER CITY GYM ARENA
LIAM skips into the gym.
LIAM
I got the tape! I got the tape!
BROCK
Yeah, I know, I was listening to you the whole time, remember?
LIAM
No I don't remember because I got the tape!
BROCK
Also, why did you say, "Just something to remember me by"?
LIAM
Oh... that... I just... knocked one of her office plants down. That was all. I definitely didn't do anything that could connect me to being there.
BROCK
Okay, that's a relief. I was worried for a moment that you did something that would royally screw us over. Well, anyway, good job, Liam!
LIAM (T.H.)
Now that I've been thinking about it, maybe writing on Gladys's desk wasn't the best idea... but still, what are the chances of her actually seeing that? I'd say: bad!
LIAM
So what are we going to do with this tape?
BROCK
I have a great idea in mind! Put the tape right in the middle of the floor there!
I got the tape! I got the tape!
BROCK
Yeah, I know, I was listening to you the whole time, remember?
LIAM
No I don't remember because I got the tape!
BROCK
Also, why did you say, "Just something to remember me by"?
LIAM
Oh... that... I just... knocked one of her office plants down. That was all. I definitely didn't do anything that could connect me to being there.
BROCK
Okay, that's a relief. I was worried for a moment that you did something that would royally screw us over. Well, anyway, good job, Liam!
LIAM (T.H.)
Now that I've been thinking about it, maybe writing on Gladys's desk wasn't the best idea... but still, what are the chances of her actually seeing that? I'd say: bad!
LIAM
So what are we going to do with this tape?
BROCK
I have a great idea in mind! Put the tape right in the middle of the floor there!
LIAM places the tape in the middle of the arena.
BROCK
Okay! Geodude, go!
Okay! Geodude, go!
BROCK throws a Pokéball and releases GEODUDE, a floating rock with arms coming out of its sides.
GEODUDE
Dude dude, Geodude!
BROCK
Yeah, shut up wise guy!
BROCK (T.H.)
Sometimes I really don't like the tone of voice my Pokémon take with me!
BROCK
Anyway, Geodude, you see that tape over there? Let's give it a Rock Throw!
Dude dude, Geodude!
BROCK
Yeah, shut up wise guy!
BROCK (T.H.)
Sometimes I really don't like the tone of voice my Pokémon take with me!
BROCK
Anyway, Geodude, you see that tape over there? Let's give it a Rock Throw!
GEODUDE floats over to one of the many rocks that litter the floor of the arena, picks it up, floats over to the tape, and smashes it with the rock. The tape flies all over into pieces, and BROCK and LIAM cheer.
BROCK
I guess that tape wasn't as solid as a rock after all!
BROCK (T.H.)
The work of a gym leader never ends. I didn't battle any trainers who were trying to get my badge today, but I did prevent a threatening article from being released, and I feel one of those is more important than the other. And I feel it's the preventing an article from being released one. At the end of the day, when people look back on my legacy, sure, I may not have battled that often, but as long as there isn't a published article out there telling people I didn't battle that often, I'll be fine. And no one can ever take that away from me. Unless that article is ever published.
I guess that tape wasn't as solid as a rock after all!
BROCK (T.H.)
The work of a gym leader never ends. I didn't battle any trainers who were trying to get my badge today, but I did prevent a threatening article from being released, and I feel one of those is more important than the other. And I feel it's the preventing an article from being released one. At the end of the day, when people look back on my legacy, sure, I may not have battled that often, but as long as there isn't a published article out there telling people I didn't battle that often, I'll be fine. And no one can ever take that away from me. Unless that article is ever published.
INT. PEWTER CITY GAZETTE OFFICES
GLADYS returns to her office, still fuming.
GLADYS
I can't believe some punk *** kid named Regis has the nerve to accuse me of corrupt journalism! Just for that, I'm working extra hard today! Good thing I finished that robbery article! I'm going to work on that interview now!
I can't believe some punk *** kid named Regis has the nerve to accuse me of corrupt journalism! Just for that, I'm working extra hard today! Good thing I finished that robbery article! I'm going to work on that interview now!
GLADYS sits at her desk, opens a new page on her word processor, and takes out the tape recorder. She presses play, but nothing plays back to her.
GLADYS
Huh?
Huh?
GLADYS takes more tapes out from her desk, puts them in the recorder, and plays them, but none of them are the recording she wants.
GLADYS
Dammit!
GLADYS (T.H.)
So I guess I didn't turn on the recorder when I did my interview with Brock. Ugh! It makes me feel as if I'm as big of an oaf as Brock is! It's terrible! And why am I still being taped, anyway?
Dammit!
GLADYS (T.H.)
So I guess I didn't turn on the recorder when I did my interview with Brock. Ugh! It makes me feel as if I'm as big of an oaf as Brock is! It's terrible! And why am I still being taped, anyway?
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