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~*~The Heart of Desire~*~

StrayedBullet

OMFG................
Here is a fic I've been writing, please comment, criticize but please NO SPAM!!!!


FIC CHAPTERS:

Prologue: Mew's Prophecy (below)
Chapter One: The Prophecy
Chapter Two: A Silent Departure, A New Journey
Chapter Three: The Man in the Shadows
Chapter Four: Ilex, the Unknown Darkness
Chapter Five: Passing Azalea (in progress)

PM LIST: XD001emerald
Timid Kyogre


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~The Heart of Desire~*~

~*~Prologue: Mew’s Prophecy~*~

Rain fell.

Mew was ahead of the beast, unknowingly falling into a perilous trap. He had been pursued for over three hours now, and was yet to be caught. In the darkness, Mew’s vision was abysmal, unable to see more than a meter in front of him; he could trip at any time. He knew this, but still he ran.

He had been traveling under the blanket of the night sky, the hours of darkness not aiding him in his desperate attempt to flee. The moon had refused to show its face, the stars seemed to disappear an hour after they appeared. The sky was a black, blank canvas, waiting to be painted.

The landscape was barren; a few small tufts of grass littered the entire plain, but never was there a large green patch, just small blobs of green on the blackened ground. A fire had ripped through the plain the night before, the ground still smoldering gently, wisps of smoke rising into the night sky, before disappearing as if they were ghosts.

The beast had kept up with Mew; it was obvious that it had a higher endurance than most other creatures. In fact, it was only a few metres behind Mew, its eyes glinting in the darkness, suggesting that it had excellent night vision.

Mew was growing tired, panting heavily he turned sharply to the left, and sped off in that direction, the beast following closely behind. Dust billowed into the sky as its claws scraped the ground, creating large imprints on the dry surface.

Mew could sense that the beast was sadistic. It contained more evil in it than anything Mew had ever come across before, more evil than anything in the world.

It was out to kill him. He knew he was going to die.

That night Mew's death was inevitable. Nothing could be done to prevent it. Nothing in the world could save him.

He knew that he could not keep running forever. Eventually he would be caught, tortured and then killed. The future was nearing, and as each second slowly passed, Mew became increasingly tired, until finally, he stopped.

The beast grinned, knowing it had won. Thousands of small, razor sharp teeth littered its mouth. It was a killing machine. Probably made only to destroy Mew. Dangling from the beast’s neck was a chain. It was golden, and at the end of it was a small locket in the shape of a heart.

What is that? Mew asked the beast, who tried to hide the necklace by ripping it off and throwing it to the ground.

Nothing. Now, be quiet so I can make this less painful than it has to be. The beast said. Its voice was feminine.

The beast was a girl.

You are human, aren’t you? Mew asked. The beast did not answer; instead it leaped forward, striking the tiny pink creature with its outstretched claws. Mew was struck hard, flying backwards, slamming into the ground. As he stood, blood began tricking down the side of his face. The beast had severed the left side of his face, a huge tear in his pink skin extended from his left eye down to his neck. Inside, red flesh poured blood out, causing Mew to collapse. He was going to die soon.

The beast smiled sadistically again, before rushing forward and slamming into the tiny body. The weight of the beast crushed Mew’s ribs, causing him to holler in pain. The pink Pokémon began to cry, soft, white tears flowed from his eyes, mixing with his blood, then falling to the ground as a red liquid.

Mew gave up. Lying on the dirt, he waited for the beast to finish him off, waited for the final blow. The beast slowly approached him, like a dog hunting a fox. Lunging forward, he grabbed Mew in his teeth, slicing through the skin, before shaking him viciously. Mew did not utter a word, and as his last few drops of blood fell to the ground, he closed his eyes. The beast watched in horror as the necklace she was wearing slowly rose from the ground, surrounded in a white aura, and the heart broke in two. The two pieces of the heart then disappeared, the chain falling to the ground.

The prophecy will become fulfilled on this night, fifty years from now Mew whispered, smiling slightly as the beast’s grin turned to horror.

Two children will uncover the heart pieces, and when put back together, the heart of desire will destroy you forever. May you live a horrible life.

And with that Mew died.

The beast left Mew on the plain, his body slowly disappearing as the rain fell harder and harder, before it erupted in a golden light, and shot into the night sky.

That night, one star shone.

The one star was that of Mew’s spirit.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

-SB ;001;
 
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Saffire Persian

Now you see me...
Mmm.. You're a new face here, welcome to the forums.

Anyway, interesting prologue you got here. I liked the way you started, it was quite intriguing with Mew being chased by what I assume to be a one of the Legendary Beasts; as it would take a great deal of power to bring down a Mew. However, she could be something else (like an Arcanine or Houndoom).

I assume as you describe her to be a 'beast' she's four-footed with no wings.

From how I read it, Mew was 'hovering' instead of running on all fours, as he has Psychic powers. With that being said, why didn't Mew just float upwards and escape? Or if Mew couldn't escape, you could at least describe why it couldn't escape that way. I'm sure you could find a reason.

Still, the plot is interesting, and I can't wait to see where you're going with this. ^_^.. Good luck.
 

StrayedBullet

OMFG................
Saffire Persian: Thanks for the review, in answer to your questions...

Mew knew he was going to die, as it was inevitable, being psychic he could see that there was no way out. He decided that it was time to face the beast, but I will add a bit more *goes and edits prologue*.

-SB ;001;
 

~*Myuu the Ryuu*~

The epitome of grace
nice prolouge!

the beast isn't a pokemon, right?

i like the cliffhanger ending about the prophecy, too!

and welcome to the forums, BTW.
 

StrayedBullet

OMFG................
Saffire Persian said:
Thanks. It's a lot more clear now, BTW. Oh - and if you want a banner to advertise your story, I'd be glad to make you one. Just PM me the details.

Sent you a PM :) hope its detailed enough...

Anyways, on topic, here is Chapter One. Enjoy, and remember to comment, criticize but NO SPAM PLZ!!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~Chapter One: The Prophecy~*~

Forty-nine years later…

Sam Carlston was going to see the Prophet. She had been instructed to do so by a dream she had had, a dream about Mew and a large beast. A dream about Mew’s death…

Sam Carlston was fifteen, her hair a coffee-brown colour reaching just past her shoulders. It had been tied back, but no effort had been made to make it look presentable. Her eyes were emerald green; they seemed to sparkle whenever light hit them, like an emerald itself. She was good looking, her face had a few freckles, but not too many, and she was average height.

Sam Carlston was not a girl’s girl, though; she was more of a tomboy. She preferred hanging out with the male population, reading comic books and playing video games. That was her life. She wasn’t into make-up, gossipy magazines like Who Weekly and one thing was for sure, she definitely wasn’t popular. She was part of the “guys,” despised by the “popular” group at school, led by the *****y Geneva Marellis. Geneva had moved from Celadon City in Kanto to come to the “exclusive” Laurel Wreath Grammar School, and had quickly become the leader of the “popular” group, purely because of her attitude, and of course, her looks.

She was good looking, but she was more of the stereotypical good-looking, popular girl. Her hair was blonde, of course, with a few different coloured streaks in her hair, mainly brown and a reddish colour, and it was cut quite short, just below the shoulders. Her eyes were gold; apparently it had been because her father’s side of the family had been married into the family of King William III, who were not only famous because they were royalty, but because they had eyes that were gold.

This having been said, Geneva was considered royalty by both students and teachers alike, but other than that, she was very ordinary. Nothing was special about her. Sam, on the other hand, was special. Her dreams predicted the future, and she saw visions from the past. That is why she was visiting the Prophet. The Prophet believed that she was the Chosen One , meaning that she would one day take over the Prophet’s duty, and pass the “power” on to her children.

Recently her dreams had become much more vivid. The landscapes were more detailed, instead of looking like a water colour painting done by an eight year old, they looked as if a professional artist had done them. In her last dream-the one with Mew’s death-she had seen much more than ever beyond, as if she were a film camera following them.

It had started off with Mew getting chased by a beast, then eventually stopping to face the creature. They had talked, but she couldn’t figure out what was being said, and then the beast struck Mew, before killing him. One thing she did notice, however, was the necklace. It had hung from the neck of the beast, before being ripped off and thrown to the ground. Just before Mew had died, the necklace rose from the ground, and a locket on the end-shaped like a heart- broke into two, before both the pieces disappeared. It was just after this that Mew died, and the beast left.

The strange thing was, however, the heart that was broken looked like her own. She had half a heart tied on a piece of string that she hung on her neck. It was found by her mother before she passed away, and she had worn it ever since she had died.

The other half had not been given to her. She had never even seen it.

As she walked, she noticed that her clothes were scraping against many thorns protruding from the many branches that hung quite low on the side of the path. Her black cargo pants had already been torn; a large hole now bared the white skin on her left leg, and her white top had been torn in two places, on her right side, and the sleeve on her left had been ripped off by a particularly sharp thorn. The sleeve now hung around two hundred meters away, still stuck on the thorn that had violently torn in from its shirt.

The path wasn’t well made; in fact it was probably one of the worst in the city. It was as if some tar was poured along, and a few pebbles thrown in to make it look more attractive. It was very bumpy, as it hadn’t been compacted. Quite often you could find a large rock stuck in the middle of it, no one had bothered to buy a good quality pebble mix, instead they probably opted for the cheaper mix-just to save a bit of money.

The Prophet did not live in the city, instead he lived in a small shack, just outside the city. It was situated in the “country” area of the city. “Country” meaning that it had more grass and trees and Pokémon than the city, and its surrounding areas.

Sam could see the shack as she continued along the path. The sun was now high in the sky, it was almost noon. As she walked, the sun glared down harshly on the landscape, causing many of the creatures that inhabited the area to hide in the shadows, escaping the extreme heat.

The shack itself wasn’t anything spectacular, instead it was more of a “renovator’s delight,” meaning that a lot could be done to it to make it look good. It was made of timber logs that had been cut down from the Viridian Forest, and imported into Johto, especially for the Prophet. He was a very picky person, and if he didn’t have it exactly his way, he was likely to go into deep meditation, without talking to anyone until it happened. It was his way of throwing a tantrum, giving people the silent treatment, while using meditation as an excuse.

The roof had many holes in it, probably from the many creatures that climbed atop it and nested there. Once a Teddiursa had climbed onto the roof and fallen through, landing on the Prophet as he slept. It was said that the Prophet cursed for an hour, while trying to think what to do with the creature. It was young, and probably didn’t have a mother or father, so he decided to keep it. The Teddiursa soon became known as Ted, as he looked like a teddy bear.

The front garden was overgrown with native plants; vines and orchids climbed the house, while two large oak trees covered a small white gazebo. This was where the Prophet would sit and meditate. This was where you would go if you were troubled. That was the exact reason Sam Carlston was going to visit the Prophet. She was troubled. Troubled by the dreams she had been having, troubled by their meanings.

“Welcome, Sam” the Prophet said as she approached. His eyes were closed, his face looked peaceful. The Prophet was meditating.

“I’ve been expecting you” he said, not moving an inch.

“I thought you might say that” Sam replied, taking a seat in front of the Prophet, looking directly at him. His face showed his age, his skin was wrinkled, his lips were chapped. He looked like a regular old man, with white hair, and a goatee.

“You wish to know about your dreams” he said, suddenly opening his eyes. They were a luminous red; it was as if rubies had turned to liquid in his eyes.

“Yes, yes I do” Sam replied, eager for a response.

“Well, they have great meaning, young Sam. I think it is time I told you about the Prophecy. I believe it is time for all to be revealed” and with that the Prophet suddenly rose, and walked into the shack. His body posture gave the impression that he knew he was important, and he did not stray from what he was to do.

Sam followed him inside the shack; it was the first time she had been there. Inside there were many books stacked on shelves made out of a darker timber than that of the walls. They were all based on history, on legends and myths, on enlightenment. It seemed as if the Prophet had every kind of book there. She could even see the latest addition of Who Weekly on the wooden coffee table. She gave the Prophet a “you-can’t-be-serious” look, to which he replied, “What? I like to know what is happening to famous people around the world” and shrugged his shoulders. After the incident, he quickly went back to what he had come to do, and quickly read the spine of each book, running his finger along each one.

When he came to the third book on the third row on the third shelf he smiled and pulled a large book out. He blew the cover, releasing thousands of dust particles into the dimly-lit room, before opening the book.

“This is Prophecy: Mew and the Beast . If my visions are correct, Sam, your visions have quite a lot to do with this prophecy” and with that he began to read, quickly turning the pages. Within five minutes he had read the whole book.

“I was right…” he said, sighing, “This is much worse than I could imagine…”

“What? What is?” Sam asked. She was genuinely interested now.

“Well, forty-nine years ago, as you should know, the legendary creature Mew was slain by an unknown beast, and before he died he broke the heart that hung from the necklace worn by the beast. The two pieces were hidden from the beast, and according to the Prophecy, the two who hold the pieces must gather on the fiftieth anniversary of Mew’s death, and join the two pieces together. “The Heart of Desire” is what it’s called when joined, and it is said that this is the only way to rid the world of the beast. If you fail to do so, it is said that the beast will strike again, killing the last known Peace Guardian, Ho-Oh, king of the Skies. If this happens, then the world will descend into chaos.”

“What? Let me see that?” Sam said, and the Prophet handed the book to her. She began to read.

~*~Mew’s Prophecy~*~

On the twenty-first of July, 1956, the legendary Pokémon Mew was hunted down and slain by a creature only known as the beast.

It is said that the beast had a necklace hanging from its neck, at the end of it hung a locket in the shape of a heart. This is known as the Heart of Desire. It is said that before Mew was murdered, he broke the locket into two using his powers, and hid them in two parts of the world. It is unknown where they ended up, but it is hoped that beast will be unable to find them.

It is also said that Mew is one of the three Peace Guardians, being in Alliance with Ho-Oh, King of the Skies, and Kyogre, Lord of the Ocean. Mew, Keeper of the Land, had in his possession a great power. He held the power to change the sun and moon, known as Sol and Luna. With this power he created the Pokémon, Lunatone and Solrock, who were originally created as Mew’s aides, but this was short lived.

Exactly twenty years after they had been created, Lunatone and Solrock were corrupted by a creature known as the beast. The beast is said to once have been human, and turned only into the beast after making a pact with the Emperor of the Underworld, Karlese (see diagram 15).


Sam looked at the diagram. A picture had been drawn of Karlese; it was like a Chimaera, with the head of a lion, body of a goat and tail of a serpent. There was one thing different, though. Karlese had wings, not those of a bird, but they looked as if they belonged to an insect, most probably a Dragonfly.

“Keep reading” the Prophet said, beckoning Sam to read once again.

The beast made the pact after its family was slain by Karlese, after betraying him. The pact was that in order for his life, the beast would do whatever Karlese wished. This was easy for Karlese, of course, as he needed the Peace Guardians to be eradicated in order for him to reign over the world.

It was then that the human became a beast, with the task of destroying the Peace Guardians, Mew, Ho-Oh and Kyogre. The first was easy, Mew. It was known to Karlese that Mew was hiding in the Ilex Forest, Johto, with the creature known as Celebi.

After giving chase for many days, the last three hours of Mew’s life was recorded in his mind, and stored for the Prophet’s of Kanto, Johto and Hoenn to one day realize the danger, and search for the Chosen Ones.

The heart was stored with enough power to destroy the beast, and when it was hidden, Mew hoped that the power would one day be released, and stop the destruction of the Earth.

It is said that the two pieces would fall into the hands of two Johto children, a male and a female, and then they would team together. The pieces can be seen in figure 17 and 18.


Sam glanced at the two figures. Sure enough, the two pieces were there in a detailed drawing. Looking at Figure 17, Sam gasped.

“Yes, that is correct” the Prophet said, smiling slightly.
Sam pulled the heart piece from her neck and placed it next to the drawing.

“T-they’re exactly the same…” she whispered.

“Yes, Sam. You are one of the Chosen One’s. Now keep reading,” the Prophet said.

Sam looked at the book, the picture of her locket swirling in her head. The next section had been written quite recently, some of the ink was still wet.

The Prophecy predicts that exactly fifty years after the death of Mew, the beast will go after the next Guardian, Ho-Oh. If the two do not unleash the power of the Heart of Desire, then the world will perish. The fate of the world is in the hands of the two children.

Sam closed the book, and looked at the Prophet.

“That was confusing…” she said, “It said there are three Peace Guardians, then if Ho-Oh is slain, wouldn’t Kyogre remain, and protect the world?”

“Good question, Sam, but sadly, no that is not true. You see, ten years ago Kyogre’s power was stripped from him, meaning that Ho-Oh remains the one last Peace Guardian… When he is killed, that is all the Guardians gone. That means…”

“No more Earth. Why was Kyogre stripped of his power?” Sam asked.

“Well, it is unknown why, but it is known that it had something to do with a scroll and a young girl, who will now be quite old. I suggest that you leave soon; you must fulfill this Prophecy on the fiftieth anniversary, exactly one year from now. The world rests in your hands…”

“What about the other piece? It said that the two were hidden in different parts of the world. Then it says that two Johto children will join together. How is that possible?” Sam asked.

“Well, it’s quite simple really; it’s just a matter of importing goods from other parts of the world...”

“So basically this was an imported piece, now belonging to some rich kid?” she asked.

“Possibly not a rich kid, but yes, that I believe is correct.”

“How am I supposed to leave? My parents won’t let me go.”

“They must not know. You must tell no one, you must go in secret. Do you understand?” the Prophet asked.

“Secret... Well, I guess so… it kinda sucks though…”

The Prophet smiled, “it’s okay, Sam. You are allowed to be scared. I have some basic supplies for you, money, clothes a bag, everything you’d need. It’d be like your own journey, except no gym battles.”

“Not really, I don’t have my own Pokémon…” Sam replied.

“Easily fixed” the Prophet said, reaching for the coffee table. “Here, take this.” He took a small silver ball from the table, giving it to Sam. “This is a Pokémon for you. I had Professor Elm collect it for me. I’m terribly sorry if it’s not what you wanted… Go on, release it!”

Sam pressed the small black button in the centre of the ball, causing it to enlarge.
“How did you get a ball like this?” she asked.

“It’s a prototype, known as the Plain Ball. Now show me what’s inside!” the Prophet said.

Sam threw the ball gently into the air, as it rotated, the ball split open, a white light gushed from the inside, gathering together and forming a shape, before floating to the ground and disappearing. In its place stood a small dark blue creature, with four or five bright green leaves protruding from its head. It had two small, red eyes, and no arms. It only had feet.

“Awwww! It’s a cute little Oddish!” Sam squealed. She picked the Pokémon up, and hugged it gently. It squirmed in delight, before suddenly popping out and landing on its back.

“Oddish!” it said, standing up, and shaking itself like a dog. The leaves on its head rustled a little, and it began to jump up and down.

“Odd-ish! Odd-ish! Odd-ish!” it said, continuing to jump.

“Okay, okay! Come here!” Sam said, allowing the small Oddish into her arms.

“You need to practice battling. I am sure you will encounter many on your journey” the Prophet said, before leading Sam and Oddish outside into his backyard. It was quite small, with a small concrete court.

“This is where we will battle” he said, standing at the opposite end to Sam. He pulled a normal pokéball from his pocket, enlarging it.

“Go Sentret!” he cried, releasing the ball. A small, ferret-like Pokémon appeared. It was brown, and stood on the end of its tail, which had many dark brown rings on it. It had large ears, and it looked very cuddly.

“Erm… Go Oddish?” Sam said. She had no idea what to do. She had never battled before. Being fifteen, she missed out on the Pokémon Elite Four Challenge. That was only for ten year olds. When she was ten, she wasn’t allowed to go. Her parents did not trust her. That was a year before her mother died.

Oddish stumbled forward, ready to fight. It was clear to both the Prophet and Sam that it had never battled before. Sentret, on the other hand, looked like a killing machine. It was ready to go, standing impatiently for the Oddish to get itself ready.

“Alright, Sentret, start it with a Tackle!” the Prophet said. The small Pokémon curled itself into a ball, before rolling rapidly towards Oddish. Just before it hit, it uncurled itself, stretching its paws forwards, smashing into Oddish. Both Pokémon were sent flying backwards, but it was Oddish that had been hurt. It struggled to get up.
“Oddish! Use…um…Sleep Powder, if you can!” Sam yelled unconvincingly. She knew that Oddish, being a grass-type Pokémon would most probably know sleep powder, or a status inducing attack.

Oddish nodded in agreement, unsure of whether it could do the attack, before ruffling its leaves, releasing a cloud of cherry-coloured dust, which, carried by the wind, swept forward and shrouded the Sentret. As the particles fell to the ground, it was clear that the ferret Pokémon was well and truly asleep.

“Good! You used a status inflicting move!” the Prophet cried.

“Thanks” Sam said, managing a smile before yelling, “Now Absorb!”

She didn't know why she said it, but somehow, it felt right. Sure enough, Oddish’s body began glowing gently. Slowly the body of the sleeping Sentret began glowing in time with Oddish, meaning that Oddish was draining the health of Sentret to replace its own. Soon afterwards both Pokémon stopped glowing.

“Okay Sentret! Wake up!” the Prophet yelled, causing the Sentret to suddenly wake and ready itself for battle again. “Slam!” he yelled.

The Sentret rushed forwards, its body gaining momentum as it went. “Oddish, dodge!” Sam yelled. Oddish stepped clumsily out of the way, causing the Sentret to hit a nearby tree.

“Now use Tackle!” Sam cried, seeing if the Oddish knew the attack. Most Pokémon had the same attacks when they first started, it was either scratch or tackle. Seeing as Oddish had no arms to scratch with, she assumed that the other would work.

She was right.

The blue Pokémon ran forward, striking the Sentret from behind, causing it to hit the same tree again.

“Sentret…No! Don’t you faint!” the Prophet cried. Sentret, obeying its master’s orders, did not faint. Instead, it slowly stood up, and readied itself for battle once again.

“Alright, take it down with Fury Swipes!” the Prophet bellowed. Sentret bobbed its head, before rushing forward once again. Claws outstretched, they began to glow a metallic blue, before striking Sam’s Oddish four times, each time the slash getting more powerful. Once Sentret had finished, Oddish began swaying slowly, before crashing to the ground, unconscious.

“Good Sentret. Return.” Muttered the Prophet, and the small ferret disappeared into its pokéball.

“Oddish return” Sam said, and the lifeless Pokémon disappeared into its unusual looking ball.

“You shall get much, much better” the Prophet told Sam as they entered the shack once again, “I can sense it.”

Sam managed a smile, and the Prophet sat down. “Well,” he said, “What are you waiting for? You must leave at nightfall! Prepare yourself!”

Sam didn’t need to be told twice, and with that she left with the bag the Prophet had prepared for her, and walked home to get the rest of her belongings.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

-SB ;001;
 
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Overwhelming_Latias

Well-Known Member
An awesome prologue and first chapter. You have a great flair for writing, so keep it up. There were very few things I could actually see wrong with it.

Good Points
-It was nice to see the use of an Oddish, over the usual starter/Pikachu/Eevee etc in most new fics. I'm already thinking whether it'll be a Bellosom or Vieplume later on... :D
-Your description of the characters, especially Sam, was indepth and allowed me to imagine her quite easily. Nice work there.
-The story is original. Alot of fics feature Legendaries, but few show one getting it's butt kicked, and even fewer show one dying... I'm keen to see how Ho-Oh stands up to this threat. I hope it lives up to my expectations :D
-The evil Karlese. Excellent idea. The chimera was always seen as a monstrous, evil creature in ancient mythology (and the only person to kill one died from his efforts), and being a History-loving guy, its great to see this kinda thing tied in. What type is it? What moves does it know? Excellent...
-The battle was good. Nice to see Sam lose, albeit to an evolved Pokemon thats probably been with its trainer for years. Much better than the usual 'ZOMFG my Chamander pwnd teh Squirtle. I R 1337' :D
-Good use of the ingroup/outgroup concept. I already dislike Geneva. :D

Points For Improvement
Just the one really...

-Sam's battle. She actually fought well, gaining a quick grasp of Oddish's moves. You didn't, however, specify how she knew so much and was able to effectively battle a Sentret. Did she watch her friends battle at school? Did she attend competitions as a spectator. Still, the battle was awesome so this is only minor qualm.

Anyway, nice fic. Everything seems well-thought out, there are no puncutaion/spelling/grammar errors I can see and its got me hooked. Keep it up!

-OL
 
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Nylf

Well-Known Member
Ok then, this is quite good. I'll warn you beforehand that I am a romance nut, so if my guts telling me true sooner or later my reviews will be replaced with very, very insane ramblings. It happens. But for now, I can't see many problems, other than Sam's quick ability to use Oddish like OL said. The description was very nice, and overall the whole story looks set to be good. The characters are interesting, and the use of Kyogre over Rayquaza was differant in a trio of legendaries(most use either Mew, Ho-oh and Rayquaza or a similar style). So, just keep it up. You're off to a great start.
 

StrayedBullet

OMFG................
Overwhelming Latias: Thankyou for the review, I changed the first chapter around a bit, explaining how Sam knew how to use the moves.

Nylf: Thankyou for the review, and as above I changed the battle a bit.

-SB ;001;
 

~*Myuu the Ryuu*~

The epitome of grace
nice chapter!

WHAT! KYOGRE WAS STRIPPED OF IT'S POWERS! GRRRR..
*coughi'mabigkyogrefancough*

5/10. :p kyogre should play a bigger role.

anyways, the battle scene was good, with Sam being able to grasp the attacks and all.

REAL overall rating: 10/10.
 

StrayedBullet

OMFG................
XD001emerald: Don't worry, Kyogre has a MUCH bigger role in the future chapters....

Anyways, here is Chapter Number 2. I think it's clear of any punctuation and grammar faults, so remember to comment, criticize but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO SPAM (just a friendly reminder XD)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~Chapter Two: A Secret Departure, A New Journey~*~

The return home to Goldenrod was more like a leisurely stroll compared to the hike up to the Prophet's shack. Sam managed to make it back in one piece, except for the few extra tears placed in her clothes from her second battle with the overgrown path. Other than that, her trip back was entirely uneventful.

When she arrived in front of her house, she sighed, before taking a deep breath, and entering. It would be the last time she would step foot in her house for a year, possibly even more. She had grown up in this very same house, and had never intended to leave so early. Only one thing was keeping her from staying:

She had to save the world.

The house was small for Goldenrod standards; it took up a mere 500 metre squared space, and most of that was taken up by the gardens. Sam’s mother, Elise, had been gardening ever since they first moved into the house, fifteen years ago.

She continually planted more plants, and by the time she had finished, at least four rooms had been removed. There was one plus side to the garden, which was that they had been undefeated in the Goldenrod Garden Awards for over five years. For the past five years they had taken out the awards for: Best Residential Garden, Best Garden Landscape and Best Use of Imported Flora.

This, of course, was no help to Sam. Geneva Marellis and her friends would often call her a “Greenie” and offend her family ways. Sam could take it in her stride, however, she was strong willed, and often used the saying “sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” Unfortunately this had been used against her once, when she was beaten with sticks and stones by a masked group of thugs, causing her to break her left arm.

The door in which Sam entered through was larger than most of the windows, it took up almost half the front deck, and was made of solid wood. On many occasions her friends had remarked that it was a “blast door,” specifically made to protect the inhabitants from whatever loomed outside. They would have to blow through it with explosives to gain entry, as it was too thick to drill through.

Inside she entered the foyer, which was lain with old vinyl floor coverings. The coverings were very ugly; they were coloured a yellow-green, and looked like baby poop. It was for that reason that Sam had always run through the room to avoid actually looking at the floor for too long.

The walls were painted stark white; some paint had recently begun to peel, showing the former colour. Hot pink. In between the splotches of white and pink paint hung many framed photo’s, mostly of Sam when she was a child. One her parents had put on display was of her running in the backyard, completely naked.

Of course, she didn’t care at the time (being only two years old), but now as a fifteen year old, it was as if they planned to kill her. Whenever her friends visited, she would have to explain the photo, and give the reasons as to why it hung there. She often had to pay them with chocolate in order to keep them quiet.

For once, her parents weren’t home. Upon entering the dining room, she found a note that read:

Samantha,
We have gone to visit Aunt Lisa, and will be home late. See you in the morning. Don’t forget to lock the doors.

Mum and Dad.

Sam sighed. She wouldn’t even get to see her parents before she left; they wouldn’t know where she was. “That’s life” she muttered, crumpling the letter up and throwing it in the closest bin.

Sam entered the foyer once more, walking through the second door to the left, opposite where she was standing now. That room was her own; she had chosen everything in it, including the paint.

Sam had the third largest room in the house, only the living room and the master bedroom were larger, but in her opinion, hers was much better.

The carpet was a plum colour, and it was kept beautifully. Sam had one rule for her room: no food or drink. She couldn’t bear the thought of having an orange juice stain on the floor, it would kill her.

The walls were painted white with a tint of red and purple in them, making them a lighter colour to the carpet. They complimented each other beautifully, and the wall behind her bed head was the feature wall. It was painted exactly the same as the plum carpet, perhaps a little darker.

Her bed was rather large, it was called a king single, which meant that it would be as large as a double bed, but had been changed so that only one person could sleep on it. The quilt cover was a floral pattern, a vine-like plant spread from the bottom left corner to the opposite side, and from that sprouted many black and red flowers.

Sam placed the backpack on her bed, and began to take out everything the Prophet had packed for her. He seemed to have bought her new clothes that made her look as if she were part of the girl guides.

“You have got to be kidding me” she said, pulling out a long, black skirt. “That is so from the seventies!” she remarked, “I’m so keeping this!” She continued to pull the rest of her pack apart, throwing the stuff she either didn’t like, or didn’t need onto the carpet. In the end, she ended up with the black skirt, a nice red top, a pair of running shoes, her toiletries, a small red device known as a Pokédex, a few potions and pokéballs and the clothes she had picked from her wardrobe. Unfortunately for her, she had to throw most of them out, as they wouldn’t all fit in the backpack.

Sam looked out the window. The sun was moving to the west, signaling that it was almost mid-afternoon. She had to leave, and go see the Prophet once more.

On the journey back to the Prophet’s shack, Sam made sure she didn’t tear her clothes. There would be no going back home to change now. Eventually she made it there, without a single tear, but a few leaves protruding from her hair.

“Ahhh, you are back, Sam” the Prophet said calmly. He was meditating once again, underneath the gazebo.

“Yes, I though I better come and say goodbye” Sam replied, taking a seat next to the Prophet.

“You want some guidance as well, do you not?” the Prophet asked. Sam blushed, before saying “well, yeah that would be nice…”

“You must head for Violet City; there you will find a temple. Pray at the temple, Chosen One, and you will be granted some power. That power will help you along the way; help you on your quest. As you journey, you must visit each gym and temple, as they will aid you. You must battle the gym leaders, they are the Keys.”

“Keys?” Sam asked.

“It will be revealed. Now go. The sun will be setting soon, you must leave the city before darkness falls” the Prophet said, and he ushered Sam out of the gazebo.

“Goodbye and good luck, Sam Carlston” he called out, not opening his eyes. Sam waved goodbye, and felt a single tear trickle down her cheek. She would miss this place.

***

Sam left the shack, walking silently through the city, and venturing out the other side. As she left the city, she could see the “Thank you for visiting Goldenrod, please come again” sign, and she entered the next area. Route 34.

There was a small sign that read:


Welcome to Route 34. May you enjoy your trip. Beware the trainers, they will want to battle.

Sam kept walking in the route, passing a few rural houses, and the local daycare.

“Okay Oddish, let’s go” she said, and released the small grass Pokémon. Upon materializing on the ground, the Pokémon began running in circles, as if it were on drugs.

“Settle down” Sam laughed, picking the Oddish up. “I think I have a name for you. Pot. You look as if you are on drugs, and well, you are a plant.”

The Oddish gave her a “you-can’t-be-serious” look, before finally accepting the new name, and squirming out of Sam’s grasp.

“Oddish” it said, and began to run around happily again.

“Let’s go, Pot.” Sam said, and they continued walking on the path, heading further out of the city. Eventually the city was just a speck on the horizon.

“Well, we’re finally gone” she smiled, and the two looked back on the city, as the sun slowly set behind it. Soon it was dark.

The moon had risen sooner tonight, and it looked much more beautifully than ever before. The stars also had an odd sparkle to them as well.

“Well Pot, what do you think of our journey so far?” Sam asked as the two companions walked along the path. They were only able to see the path due to the moon’s unusually bright shine.

“Oddish!” Pot answered, smiling happily, before running off down the path.

“Pot, wait for me! You’ll get lost!” Sam called out, running after the weed Pokémon.

Pot had gotten himself quite a way down the path before Sam caught up, and she saw what he was doing. The Oddish was playing with a small sheep. It had bright yellow wool, and its skin was a pale blue. It had quite a large tail; it rose a bit higher than its head, and ended in a yellow ball.

“That’s a Mareep!” Sam exclaimed, “I have to get one! It’s soooo cute!
Pot, prepare to fight!”

Pot leaped into action. It stopped playing with the tiny sheep, and stood readily in front of Sam, waiting for the Mareep to battle it.

“Pot, use Sleep Powder!” Sam called out. It was one of the few attacks she knew Pot could perform. The small Pokémon ruffled its leaves, and the tiny cherry-coloured particles spewed outwards, rising slowly into the air and wafting lazily towards the Mareep.

Before the attack could hit, the Mareep started glowing, three small rings encircled it, and began protecting it from the dust. As each particle hit, the rings would shimmer a bright light, and would absorb the attack as if it were nothing. Once the particles had disappeared, the Mareep stood ready to fight, not having been affected by the attack.

“What was that?” Sam muttered, before pulling the small device she had packed earlier, and turning it on. A small light began to blink an iridescent green, and the device began to speak.

Mareep, the Wool Pokémon. Mareep are known to breed with many Pokémon to gain moves, such as Safeguard, as seen before. Their wool is extremely static, just by touching it they can electrocute a human being as if they had been struck by lightning. Only its owner cannot be affected by this condition.

The Pokédex then turned itself off automatically, folding itself back into its compacted state.

“So that was Safeguard… This is no ordinary Mareep. Someone has been breeding them…” Sam whispered to herself, before calling out to Pot.

“Pot, try Absorb!”

The Oddish began to glow, as if a light bulb was flickering on and off inside its body. The Mareep also began to glow in time with Pot, and slowly its energy was drained from its body. The Safeguard couldn’t prevent this.

“Mareep!” the sheep cried out irately, and then its tail began to glow yellow. Down from the sky flew lightning bolts that were absorbed into the tail. The Mareep’s wool began humming with static electricity, before it released a shock of electricity out of its tail.

The bolt of electricity hit the ground half way between the two Pokémon, before rebounding upwards and striking Pot, causing him to shake violently.

“Pot!” Sam yelled, watching helplessly as her Pokémon was electrocuted. When the shock subsided, the Oddish fell to the ground.

“Pot!” shrieked Sam again, racing forward to see what damage had been done, but before she got there, Pot stood up shakily, and readied itself for battle once more.

“You’re okay?” Sam said, confused, before snapping back into action. “Use Tackle!” she yelled, and the Oddish leaped forward rapidly, its tiny legs creating a thick blanket of dust behind it. Before the Mareep could understand what was happening, Pot had slammed into it. Hard.

The Mareep was hurled backwards, thrown into the nearest oak tree. It let out a yelp, and slumped to the floor, before standing again. The impact of the throw smashed the rings protecting it, as they had suddenly disappeared.

Sam, seeing the chance she had, yelled “Alright Pot! Sleep Powder!”

The dust flew forward at amazing speed, propelled by a sudden gust of wind, and the sheep instantly fell asleep. Sam quickly unzipped her pack, pulling out a small red and white ball. She pressed a button, causing it click and expand, before throwing it at the sleeping Mareep.

The Mareep disappeared in a haze of white light, the ball falling gently to the ground, before rocking violently.

It rocked once…twice…three times…then ended in a *DING*

The Mareep was now safely inside the ball, Sam having caught her first Pokémon. “Good work, Pot” she praised, ruffling the foliage on Pot’s head. It smiled, before crying “Odd-ish! Odd, odd, dish!”

“Let’s go” Sam then said, and the Pokémon began to waddle along the path, Sam following a few steps behind. The night had well and truly started, and before long Sam grew tired.

“We have to sleep” she yawned, leading Pot into a small clearing a few feet away from the path. “This will do for tonight” she said, and sat her backpack on the ground. Within the clearing they had a clear view of the stars, and Sam lay on the softest patch of grass she could find, and began to stare at the stars.

“You see that, Pot?” she asked, pointing to the brightest star in the sky.

“Odd” Pot replied in agreement.

“Well, that star belongs to my Mum. She’s our guardian angel on this trip.”

Pot turned to look at its master, and could see two tears trickle down the side of her face.

“Oddish” the creature said, snuggling up to Sam.

“Thanks, Pot” she smiled, and the two friends then closed their eyes, and prepared to spend a night full of wonderful dreams.

Or so they thought.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What'd you think?

-SB ;001;
 
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Overwhelming_Latias

Well-Known Member
A great second chapter. Here's a review of the good and bad:

Good Points
-Again, and underused Pokemon family tree - the Mareep/Flaffy/Ampharos line. I like it!
-The battle was much better than the previous one, Sam showed more coordination and control, yet still had that 'new trainer' aura about her. That's a good sign of her developing trainer skills. Good job!
-Again, description is good, accurate and vivid. No trouble there.
-No spelling or punctuation mistakes. Nice to see you check your work over before posting.
-Kyogre's gonna have a big part in your fic? Yay! Kyogre is one of only three legendaries I can actually stand at all (Latias and Suicune being the others). Normally I dislike fics with legends in (OMG I caught a Zapdos!!!1111 etc etc) but your writing style could work here.

Bad Points
-I'm just curious... does Sam not have a good relationship with her parents? She comes to terms with her imminent departure quite quickly, just crumpling up the note they left and discarding it. A little background beforehand or in the upcoming chapters will deal with that, so its no big. :)
-The opening sentence is the only grammar problem I found:

StrayedBullet said:
The journey back into the city of Goldenrod wasn’t as hard as it had been going out to the Prophet

A better sentence may have been something like:

The return home to Goldenrod was more like a leisurely stroll compared to the hike up to the Prophet's shack.

You can come up with stuff miles better than THAT, but you catch my drift.

Apart from that, another sterling chapter. Congrats! :D

-OL
 

StrayedBullet

OMFG................
Overwhelming Latias- her relationship with her father and step mother, as well as her (deceased) real mother. oh, and i used ur suggestion for first sentence, hope you don't mind :) it's just until i have the time to actually go and do it properly.

-SB ;001;
 

Saffire Persian

Now you see me...
Mm.. just as a tip, don't post new chapters so fast. It gives readers (like me) a chance to review, and you time to accumulate more readers and reviews. Just a hint.

Still, I liked chapter one, though I was iffy about how they said right off "You're one of the Chosen Ones!!!!1111", still, I preferred the idea she was the next in line to be prophet rather than being 'the chosen one' right off.. I dunno, just me. I did like the current prophet though, and the excerpt about the Beast - Kyogre's power stripped? How, I wonder. - and I like how she started with an Oddish.

You never see those. ^^
 

StrayedBullet

OMFG................
Thanks Saffire Persian, both for the banner and the review. The next chapter won't be up for around 2 days, that should be enough time i think.

-SB ;001;
 

~Fire&Ice~

Conspiracy Theorist
OOhhh!!!!!!!! I love your fic! I think I will review it more.
 

StrayedBullet

OMFG................
thanks Charizard. Chapter 3 will be up in the next few days or so i hope :/

-SB ;001;
 

StrayedBullet

OMFG................
Sorry for the double post, but I finished the next chapter sooner than I thought (it only took me like four days to write it :D)

So, without further ado, I present Chapter Three of The Heart of Desire...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~Chapter Three: The Man in the Shadows~*~

Sam and Pot only got four hours of sleep that night. Whilst sleeping, the sky had slowly been overcome with livid grey clouds, and an hour after, it had started to rain. The downpour wasn’t soft; instead it assaulted the ground, exploding like a grenade as it hit the grass around them.

It was when the rain started that Sam and Pot were awoken rudely, suddenly dripping wet. Pot didn’t mind getting wet, as it quickly absorbed the water that was splashing against its body.

“Great. We just had to get rained on tonight. Now I’ll look great tomorrow morning” Sam moaned sarcastically. Pot just nodded in agreement, before running to the nearest mud puddle and splashing around in it like a lunatic.

“Pot. What. The. Hell. Have. You. Been. Smoking?” Sam asked. Pot was one of the weirdest Pokémon she had ever encountered. It was as if the Oddish was constantly smoking drugs. She knew it was impossible, but still, Sam had to wonder.

“Oddish!” Pot cried out as Sam picked it up, putting the Oddish under her arm, and began running back onto the path, trying to find some shelter beneath the trees that loomed overhead. Soon she had found a nice, dry area, and sat down, leaning against the brown trunk of the tree. She sighed, closed her eyes and attempted to sleep.

It didn’t work.

Pot was very hyperactive, and had soon managed to get out of Sam’s grasp. Within minutes he had run down the path, and disappeared from sight. Sam had to scramble after him, running on all fours for a few seconds, before getting her balance, and chasing after the Oddish with amazing speed. Soon afterwards, she found Pot looking intriguingly at something concealing itself in the shadows of the trees that dominated the route.

“Pot, what are you doing?” Sam asked, approaching the small weed Pokémon, peering into the shadows herself. There, standing in front of her, was a pair of eyes. They were cerulean blue, and stood out like a fish out of water. Sam’s mouth dropped. She had no idea what it was, and then, it stepped out of the shadows. A teenager, around her age, stood in front of her. He was dressed completely in black, from head to toe, and the only thing showing was his eyes. He looked much like a ninja.

“Who are you?” she asked the boy. He didn’t answer, and instead ran off into the bushes, quickly disappearing from sight.

“Weird” muttered Sam, Pot nodding its head in agreement. “C’mon, let’s go” she said, and they began walking along the path, trying to find a dry place to sleep. They walked for a while, under the moonlight sky, until they found the largest tree they could find. Its branches spread out, the leaves dense enough to stop the water from falling through.

Sam sat on the dry ground, sighing.

“I wonder who that was…” she pondered, “he was weird, but his eyes… they were the most beautiful eyes…” She began to drift into a fantasy.

“Oddish!” Pot scolded, causing Sam to snap out of the fantasy.

“What?” she asked, shrugging her shoulders, “I’m a girl, I’m allowed to fantasize.”

“Odd. Odd. Oddish.” Pot explained matter-of-factly, before sighing itself, and closing its eyes. It was tired. So was Sam.

“You’re right” she said, closing her eyes as well, “it’s time to sleep. See you in the morning Pot” and with that, they both fell asleep.

***​

The morning came rather quickly, and before she knew it, Sam was awoken by the light beaming down from the sky.

The route had been awoken by the chatter of birds fluttering by in the trees. Hoothoot and Noctowl were returning to their homes, and the birds of day had begun waking.

All around them a deafening chirp erupted from the trees; caused by the Pidgey families that lived among the branches of the oaks. A flurry of feathers fell from the trees simultaneously as the birds took off into the sky, looking for breakfast.

“Oddish!” Pot shrieked as a particularly large Pidgeotto loomed overhead.

“Don’t worry Pot” Sam reassured the grass Pokémon, “it won’t get you. I’m here.”

She was wrong.

The bird suddenly dived, tucking its wings to the side of its body, and swooping at an amazing speed. It was heading straight for Pot.

“Move Pot!” Sam yelled, pulling a Pokéball from her pocket. It belonged to the Mareep she caught the previous day.

“C’mon Surge, save Pot!” she said, throwing the ball. The Mareep erupted in a white light, and as it materialized, it turned to Sam and said “Mareep?”

“What? I like nicknames…” Sam replied, and the Pokémon shook its head.

“Surge, use Thundershock!” Sam yelled out, the Mareep nodding and performing the attack.

It’s tail begun to generate electricity. Small blue bolts of lightning surrounded the ball on the tail, and they suddenly surged forward as one larger bolt. The electricity hit the bird, surging through the body, and erupting out of the tail end. The Pidgeotto cawed angrily, before turning its attention to Surge, who was standing directly below it.

“Pot, use Stun Spore!” Sam cried out, grabbing the chance to allow Pot to help out in the battle.

Pot ruffled its foliage, releasing a cloud of orange powder which sparkled as if it was full of static electricity. It was much like the wool on Mareep. They sprayed forwards, enveloping the Pidgeotto as it clawed at the now fleeing Mareep. The bird Pokémon stopped suddenly, before falling to the ground, paralyzed.

The Pidgeotto struggled to move, and before it could regain its balance, Surge had hit it with another Thundershock. The bird writhed in agony, twisting itself into unimaginable positions, before lying still on the ground. It was not unconscious yet, it was stunned.

Sam could see the pain in its eyes. It was trying desperately to break free from the grasp of the paralysis, so that it could flee from the horrible battle it had gotten itself into.

“I can’t leave you like this” Sam said, approaching the now terrified bird. Slowly she bent down, taking the pack off her back and pulling a small bottle filled with orange liquid in it. Carefully, she unscrewed the lid of the bottle, and poured a small amount of the mixture over the Pidgeotto’s head. The liquid seeped down the neck of the bird, before getting absorbed into the skin.

The fluid flowed through the veins of the Pidgeotto, allowing the muscles to relax, and gave the bird Pokémon full use of its wings once again. When the paralyze heal had taken its full effect, the bird rose from the ground, and fled the sight, soon becoming just a spec on the horizon.

“Well, that was very interesting” a voice said as Sam stood up, sliding the bag onto her back once again. The voice was masculine, deep and caused Sam to melt instantly. She turned to see who it was…

Only to be faced with the masked teenager once again.

He was standing right in front of her, clad in the black clothes, as he had been the previous night.

“Who are you?” she asked, stepping back slightly. The teenager gave off an eerie aura. Something about him was not right.

“Me? Oh, my name is Harvey. Harvey Kaller” the boy said, and he removed the cloth that covered his head. Sam gasped.

Half his head had been melted obviously burned in a horrific accident. He had hair only on the right side of his head, and it was jet black.

“Don’t be scared” the boy called Harvey said, “I’ll explain it all later.”

He turned around, and walked towards Surge and Pot. Both shared uncertain glances, before allowing themselves to be petted on the head by Harvey.

“I want you to come with me” he said, and he led Sam and the two Pokémon onto a hidden path. There was a blackberry bush concealing it, and the path led them to an old shack, much like the one belonging to the Prophet in Goldenrod City.

“Do you live here?” Sam asked, glancing at the shack. It was much older and run-down than the one the Prophet owned, and the little garden it had was overgrown with blackberry bushes.

“Yes, I have been living here since I was ten years old” Harvey said, “I moved here after my face got all…distorted”

“How did it happen?” Sam asked.

“I’d rather not talk about it” Harvey answered abruptly.

“So, why did you want me to come with you?” Sam said, picking a fresh blackberry from the nearest bush and putting it in her mouth.

“I know about you, Sam. I know the quest you have been given. I have something for you.”

Harvey entered the shack, emerging a few minutes later, holding a small item in his hand. “This is called a Cyren” he said. The object was sitting in his palm. It was a round, aqua-coloured orb, which radiated with an unholy ambience.

“Cyren?”

“Yes. It is said that whosoever is in possession of the Cyren will be granted power in order to aid them in their quest.”

“Quest?”

“I know what you are doing, Sam” Harvey said, “So don’t play dumb with me. The Cyren will allow you entry into the hidden Temples of the cities.”

“Hidden Temples?” Sam asked, genuinely confounded by the comment.

“Yes. They are hidden to the public; no one knows they exist, apart from the Keys. You do know that the Keys are the gym leaders in each city, do you not?” Harvey explained.

“Yes, I have already been told that” Sam replied.

“Well, you must battle them”

“I know that as well.”

“Then you will gain entry into the Temples, and you can place the Cyren inside, before praying. If your prayers are answered, you will be granted a gift, which will be placed inside the Cyren. When the time comes, the gift will break out from the Cyren, and aid you.”

“When the time comes?”

“Yes. Sam, you cannot control when the gifts aid you and when they do not. They have already been given their destiny, and so have you. Now, you must go. I sense that you are being closely watched by something. I don’t like the feeling of this…” Harvey said, staring out into the distance.

He could see something Sam could not.

“Sam, you must leave. Now. They are here.” Harvey said, entering a trance.

“What? Why?” Sam asked.

“Just go.”

And with that, Sam Carlston left Harvey standing alone, gazing into the distance.

***​

She ran, Surge and Pot following closely behind.

She too could sense that someone was watching her, but she could not see it…

Yet.

Suddenly, a large shadow burst from the trees, causing the inhabitants of the forest to suddenly flee the sight. It began running. It was chasing them.

“Surge, Pot, return!” Sam said, holding their pokéballs behind her, allowing the two tiring Pokémon to disappear back inside.

Now she could make haste.

Sam continued running, gaining speed as she went. She was a good athlete, but had never signed up for any athletics at school. That belonged to the popular people, like Geneva.

Sam turned to see what it was that was following her. She could make out a human shape, but as she ran, the shape suddenly contorted, growing larger, until it had to run on four legs.

It had transformed into something else, and it was gaining speed. The creature had quickly caught up to her, and now its vicious jaws were snapping ferociously at her heels.

Sam gave an almighty kick, causing the beasts head to snap back. Blood sprayed from its mouth, and it fell to the ground. She had broken its neck.

Sam continued running, until at last she reached the end of the route. Before her was a large building, and she entered.

Inside stood a few people, bug catchers mostly and there was a young girl standing behind a counter. Beside her was a large bug-type Pokémon. It looked like a butterfly, and was a violet purple. It had large, compounded eyes, and its wings spread out quite far.

“That’s a nice Butterfree you got there” Sam said, approaching the girl.

“You think?” she gushed, “well, I would give you a TM, but a guy just passed through. He was nice to me, as well as super cute. I couldn’t resist…”

“That’s okay. I don’t need a TM anyway. Is this the end of the Ilex Forest?” Sam asked.

“Yes. Just go through the red doors at the other end, and you’ll be there” the girl answered.

“Thanks.” Sam took off down the hallway, until she reached the two red doors at the other end.

As she opened, the light inside clashed with pure darkness outside. The forest allowed no light in, the trees blocked all of the sunlight, and they loomed aggressively high above the ground. They were not dead, though. The leaves were vivid green, the sunlight above probably giving them enough energy to survive.

Sam stepped into the darkness, only to find herself standing before a large gate. It was quite high, painted pearlescent silver. There were four or five larger posts, and on each stood a replica of the Forest Guardian.

Celebi.

“You goin’ in?” a gruff voice asked. She could not make out who it was, but Sam guessed it was the old caretaker.

“Yeah. Azalea is on the other side, isn’t it?” Sam asked.

“Yes, lass, it is. If you can make it, that is…” the caretaker replied.

“Make it?”

“Yes. There’s been something weird happenin’ in here the past few days. Two people have been found dead. Their bodies mutilated by a beast” he replied.

Sam gulped. “A beast?” she asked.

“Yes. So you still going?”

“What?...Um, yes…yes I must go”

“Well, good luck” and with that the caretaker swung the gates open. Sam stepped forwards a few steps, the gates slamming closed an instant later.

Now, all that was left was the darkness, the forest, and, quite possibly, the murderous beast that hid in the shadows…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Comment, criticize, no spam as usual

-SB ;001;
 
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Overwhelming_Latias

Well-Known Member
Another impressive chapter, nice work.

I like the naming of her Pokemon... while the names seem odd it shows a degree of kinship with them, which is nice to see.

I was a tad shocked by the idea of 'Pot' actually smoking her apparant namesake, but the thought of it made for some light humour in an otherwise dark chapter.

Harvey... meh. He could develop into an interesting character, but at the moment there doesn't seem to be much about him. He knows about Sam's mission... how? I'm keen to see this in later chapters.

I'm also keen on seeing how Sam gets through Ilex Forest. That place was annoying in GSC, and I hope the next chapter captures the ominous atmosphere it possessed. Keep it up, and don't let a lack of reviews get ya down... they'll come in time. :D

-OL
 

Saffire Persian

Now you see me...
I agree with Latias on the 'Harvey' idea. For some reason, I'm getting odd Sabrina vibes all over. Anyway.. your choice of nicknames are..interesting. Pot... It still strikes me as strange, given the connotations the name is given and ones that will most likely rise. It seems a bit silly in this story, though, given the more serious nature.

In any case, Mareep are just awesome little things, and I was quite glad when Sam caught one.

A mistake I caught:

Pot ruffled its feathers, releasing a cloud of orange powder which sparkled as if it was full of static electricity.

Since when do Oddish have feathers? :/
 
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