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The Hoenn of Hoenness- PG13

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
Prologue: The Meeting
The door to the office swung open, and through it walked a sixteen-year-old boy. He was skinny, yet with definite muscle visible on his arms. He wore a red t-shirt, a pair of faded blue jeans, and a pair of white sneakers. On his head sat a baseball cap that highly resembled the front of a Great Ball, with the front half colored blue and displaying the two red stripes that go across the top of a Great Ball. The front right pocket of his jeans betrayed a rectangular bulge consistent with the shape and size of a Pokédex.

As the youth entered the office, the first thing he took note of was how dark the room was. Indeed, the room was so dark that it would be quite difficult to notice anything else before that. But there was more to notice than the darkness, and indeed, the next thing this boy noticed was a large, wooden desk set near the back wall, facing the door. Behind the desk, the boy was faced with the back of a chair.

"Hey. You wanted to see me?" the youth asked.

In response, the chair swiveled around to reveal its occupant. "Indeed I did, Jack," replied Missingno. Master. "Now, I know the whole Adventure of Adventureness series was wrapped up years ago, but as of late, I've been thinking. You know how Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire are due to come out in, what, a month now?"

"Yeah, I've heard, and what of them?" said the boy named Jack. "What, you're thinking of writing me into something else? What about that 404 Error crap you got my sister starring in?"

"I know, I know," groaned Missingno. Master. "I'm gonna be working on that, too. And it is not crap," he added, his eyes narrowing somewhat. "You're just jealous because I couldn't fit you in there."

"Hardly," retorted Jack. "You set the damn series in a time period where half my Pokémon wouldn't have existed yet. You know how much stuff I've done with my Sudowoodo since catching it? Practically nothing!"

"Whose fault is that?" demanded Missingno. Master. "You were free to use whatever Pokémon you wanted, and you had to be doing something right to win the whole Johto League."

Jack seethed in silent fury for a few moments before finally replying. "...Dammit, I hate when you're right," he grumbled. "So, what's the new story, then?" he asked.

Missingno. Master grinned. "It's called 'The Hoenn of Hoenness'," he said. "An epic tale taking place in sunny, tropical Hoenn, just you and Misty-"

"And I'm there," Jack interrupted. All traces of irritation vanished from his face, replaced with eagerness. "All right, make with the details. Where do we go, what do we do, what's the plot, c'mon, gimme something here."

"All in good time, Jack," said Missingno. Master calmly. "Don't want to give away so many spoilers so early."

"Spoilers- what-" Jack began, before a look of dawning comprehension came over his face. "You son of a *BLEEP*," Jack said. "You're doing a prologue? What the hell kinda prologue could you possibly need that the entire Adventure of Arceusdamn Adventureness doesn't cover?! And you," he added, as he forcibly extracted a rectangular red box from his pants pocket. "Enough. Bleeping!"

"No can do, Jack," replied Jack's Pokédex. "We got a PG-13 rating again this time. We keep the language as civil as we can."

In response to this, Jack went off on a profanity-laden tirade, pacing around the room as the various expletives flowed from his mouth. The Pokédex in his hand, who had so kindly consented to pick up on the narration, refused to narrate any of the words coming from Jack's mouth, as he'd have had to censor out about 90% of the language anyway.

"Are you quite done yet?" yawned Missingno. Master as the tirade reached the 2-minute mark.

"-with a rusty spatula! Yeah, I'm done," grumbled Jack as he finally calmed down. "So, where were we?"

"You. Misty. Hoenn," Missingno. Master reminded him.

"Oh, yeeeeaaah," Jack said, the memory and the grin returning to him simultaneously. "So, yeah, I'm gonna head on out now." With that, he walked through the door and back out into one of the Dot Com Building's numerous corridors. Missingno. Master gave a satisfied smirk at the prologue he had just written, though it faded somewhat as he heard a familiar voice bellow "JAAAACK PAAAAWNCH!", followed by the unmistakable sound of a wall being smashed by a fist.

"We have doors and windows, you know," Missingno. Master called out, annoyed.

"Really couldn't give a Raticate's *BLEEP*," Jack called back. "Rayquaza, let's ride!" Missingno. Master sighed as the sound of a Poké Ball unleashing its occupant sounded from the corridor, followed by a distinct sparkling sound, one that one would associate with a Shiny Pokémon.

"I hope I don't regret doing this," Missingno. Master murmured to himself as he heard more of the wall breaking apart as Jack's Shiny Rayquaza took off.
End of Prologue.​

That's right, Adventure of Adventureness fans, Jack is back! :) Although The Adventure of Adventureness was wrapped up some time ago, inspiration has struck me, so here we are. For those of you unfamiliar with The Adventure of Adventureness, you can read that entire series here. In fact, you probably should, if you want a good portion of this story to even remotely make sense to you.

PM list:
President People ; scizorstrike ; The Imposter ; #1TransendTrainer ; PhalanxSigil
Dr.Chaos ; SneaselFTW ; UltimatePokemonExpert ; Volcer ; UnovaMaster

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President People

Eat The Path

Came back just to say that I am excited for this. (And that I would like to be on the PM list, please)

Looking forward to another adventurous adventure with Jack and crew!
And then suddenly the silliness quotient of the fanfic section went right up.

Glad to see this is back! Mind adding me to the PM list?

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer

Came back just to say that I am excited for this. (And that I would like to be on the PM list, please)

Looking forward to another adventurous adventure with Jack and crew!

And then suddenly the silliness quotient of the fanfic section went right up.

Glad to see this is back! Mind adding me to the PM list?

The both of you have been added to the PM list. :) Chapter 1 is in the works, and it's coming along great. If it's not ready today, then definitely tomorrow.

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
Chapter 1: Hoenn, Sweet Hoenn
Ah, the world of Pokémon. A place full of strange and wonderful creatures. A world of vast, diverse regions with different climates, landscapes, and local Pokémon. And of course, the vast oceans that separate these regions from each other, tranquil seas over which one can see the occasional Ducklett or Wingull fly, beneath which abundant Tentacool swim freely. And above one of these seas, a decidedly unique creature was soaring. A pitch-black dragon, with a long, serpentine body, soaring through the air without aid of wings, as though slithering through the sky- a Shiny Rayquaza, bearing two passengers. Jack, the Rayquaza's Trainer, sat just behind the Shiny legendary's head, and holding onto him from behind was an attractive redhead in her early 20's, dressed in a blue tank top and matching shorts- Jack's girlfriend, Misty, former Gym Leader of Cerulean City, Kanto.

"How much longer, Jack?" Misty asked.

"Shouldn't be much farther," Jack replied. "Missingno. Master wasn't too specific on how long it'd take, but it took longer than this to fall all the way to the bottom of Miror B.'s afro, so believe me, it hasn't been that long."

"Oh, yeah," remarked Jack's Pokédex. "Yeah, and you haven't complained once about how long it was taking, right?"

"What the hell are you implying?" demanded Jack as he dug the Pokédex out of his pocket. "I haven't said squat about the length of the flight!"

"You have been complaining nonstop from the moment we took off to just before the chapter started!" retorted the Pokédex. "Misty, back me up on this?"

Misty, however, shook her head. "Nothing doing, three point three, sorry," she smiled as she held onto Jack. "I do wish I could've brought all my Pokémon, though," she added sadly. "Still not used to having to use PC storage again."

"Well, it's not like it's that hard to swap your Pokémon out," Jack said fairly. "You got your Pokédex, right?"

"She does," confirmed a voice from the small red backpack slung over Misty's back- Pokédex model three point four, Misty's Pokédex.

"Yeah... that was one of the nice perks of being a Gym Leader," Misty remarked. "There was no six-Pokémon limit for me. Still, though, no regrets about giving up the position- I hear Cheeseball's doing a fine job in my place. So, Jack, aside from Rayquaza, what else did you bring?"

"Shockingly, for once, it's just Rayquaza," Jack replied. "Haven't decided what else to bring, and it's not like I'm in any kind of rush to make that decision." He patted the pocket on his jeans which contained his Pokédex. "Got the entire PC storage system right here, after all. What about you, Misty?"

"Hard to decide on just six," sighed Misty. "I don't know exactly which ones I got on hand- though with my luck, one of them will be Psyduck," she added through gritted teeth. "Oh, look, there it is!" she added, suddenly in a much brighter mood, for Misty just noticed a large landmass coming up ahead of them.

"There it is," confirmed Jack's Pokédex. "The Hoenn region!"

"Excellent," ginned Jack. "Alright, Rayquaza, prepare to land," he added to the Dragon/Flying-type. Rayquaza gave a small shriek in response, and started to descend. For a moment, Jack thought Rayquaza was going to land in the middle of a forest, but then, he could see a small town set in a clearing, surrounded by trees. The entire town seemed to consist of two houses and a somewhat larger building to the south of aforementioned houses. Jack was vividly reminded of Pallet Town, and dearly hoped that if this was indeed Hoenn's Pallet Town counterpart, that the professor wasn't nearly as nutty as Oak.

At that moment, Rayquaza had descended low enough for Jack and Misty to climb off, their feet touching solid ground once again. "Alright, you, take a rest," Jack grinned as he held out a red-and-white sphere. It ejected a beam of red light, which sucked Rayquaza back into the Poké Ball. Once this was done, Jack pressed the button on Rayquaza's ball, which caused it to shrink down to the size of a ping pong ball. He then attached the ball to his belt, and looked around. "OK, so... where the hell are we?" Jack wondered out loud.

"Well, it's gotta be the Hoenn region, your Pokédex said so," Misty replied. "And your Pokédex is narrating this story, it seems, so I would guess he would know."

"Yeah, I got that much," Jack agreed. "I'm talking more specifically within Hoenn. It's some kind of town, I got that much."

"You're in Littleroot Town," said the Pokédex. "And can you please tell Misty to take it easy with the fourth wall? The Adventure of Adventureness may not have even had a fourth wall to begin with, but I'm kinda hoping this'll be different."

In response, Jack took out his Pokédex and- ACK URGLE- "I will do as I damn well please with the fourth wall," ack accckkk, "and that goes double for my girlfriend. And you will have no problem with this, or you meet the same fate as Cheeseball's Pokédex. Savvy?" ack ack- GAH! At that point, Jack mercifully stopped the needless strangulation of the Pokédex, allowing it to respond to him.

"I still wanna know how the hell you can strangle a machine," the Pokédex grumbled. "I don't breathe. I don't even have a neck in this form!"

"I'm just that good," Jack replied smoothly. The Pokédex was about to change into the form of a giant fighting robot, purely in order to facepalm, when the group heard a sudden shout from up north.

"H-H-HEEEELP MEEEE!" someone shouted in all caps. "HELP! HELP!"

"The hell?!" Jack exclaimed. He and Misty took off at once, leaving Littleroot Town and going down a narrow pathway, lined with trees on either side. This path, according to a wooden sign posted to their right, was Route 101.

The narrow path opened up into a slightly more open space, at which point Jack chuckled at the sight before him- a slightly pudgy man in a lab coat was being chased around in circles by a dark grey quadruped, the latter of whom was snarling and barking, viciously sharp teeth bared. Jack pointed his Pokédex at this creature.

"Poochyena, the Bite Pokémon," the Pokédex recited. "Poochyena will bite anything that moves. It has the tenacity to chase its prey all through the night."

By the time Jack had stowed his Pokédex back in his pocket, the man, now cornered between the Poochyena and a large tree, noticed him and Misty. "Hey! Hey, you two there!" he called desperately to them. "Over there, my bag- grab a Poké Ball and help me!" Jack looked- right in front of him was a large brown shoulder bag. It was unzipped, but still closed. Though he could have just as easily sent Rayquaza out to deal with the Poochyena- he had a feeling Poochyena would end up making some very funny noises before running away at the sight of Rayquaza- Jack realized there was an opportunity here, and so he crouched down and opened the flap, and three Poké Balls sat inside the bag. Lacking the time to make a well thought out and informed decision about which ball to grab, even if he did know what was in them, he simply swiped a Poké Ball at random and stood back up to face the cornered man and his Dark-type assailant.

"Here goes nothing," Jack said as he threw the sphere. "Out here on the double!"

The Poké Ball split open in midair, unleashing a flash of bright light, which formed into a blue, four-legged creature on the ground. A large, flat fin protruded straight up from the top of its head, and a similarly shaped tail fin jutted out behind it. Jack recognized this Pokémon all too well, though he had a feeling that this one was not quite so ridiculously overpowered as the previous Mudkip he had met.

"It's so cuuuuuute!" Misty squealed.

"Mudkip, the Mud Fish Pokémon," droned Jack's Pokédex. "Mudkip's fin acts as radar, enabling it to sense danger. It possesses great strength, and can crush boulders bigger than itself."

"Mud! Mudkip mud!" Mudkip exclaimed. This got the Poochyena's attention, and it wheeled around to face Mudkip, growling fiercely.

"Alright, I guess we're doing this," remarked Jack as he dug his Pokédex out of his pocket. With the press of a few buttons, Jack was quickly viewing a list of Mudkip's attacks, if it could even be called a list. "Mudkip, use Tackle!"

"Mud!" Mudkip replied as it charged forward. Poochyena responded in kind, and the two Tackle attacks collided head-on. Mudkip, however, proved to be the stronger, knocking Poochyena backwards with little effort.

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Not half bad," he remarked. "Now let's see a Water Gun."

"Kiiiip... MuuuUuuuUuuud!" gurgled Mudkip, now unleashing a forceful torrent of water from its mouth. Poochyena whined and whimpered as the aquatic assault made contact.

"Huh. This kid's not bad," the cornered pudgy man murmured.

Jack was grinning by this point. "And wrap it up with Sludge attack!" he exclaimed.

"Muuuuuuuuuud!" Mudkip exclaimed, now spraying a stream of smelly sludge from its mouth. The foul, thick, dark liquid was the last straw, and Poochyena raced away, making exactly the kind of funny noises Jack was sure the mere sight of Rayquaza would have induced.

"Heh," chuckled Jack as he watched the Poochyena run off. "What a wimp. You, though," he added, addressing the now relieved-looking man. "You could've probably achieved the same effect by kicking it."

The man shook his head as he approached Jack and Misty. "Poochyena will bite at anything within mouth's reach. Kicking wouldn't have ended well for me. Thanks for that, though- is this your first time using a Pokémon?"

Deciding on the spot to lie, Jack replied, "Yes, yes, it is."

The man's eyes narrowed. "I can see the Poké Ball on your belt."

"Crap," sighed Jack.

"And don't think I didn't notice that Pokédex, either," the man added.

"Double crap," groaned Jack.

"That being said, however," the man continued, "you did save me, and Mudkip seems to like you, so I'm thinking I'll let you have Mudkip anyway."

"Triple cra- wait, what?" Jack said suddenly.

The man grinned. "The name's Professor Birch. The Pokémon Lab back in Littleroot Town? I own the place. I got plenty of Mudkip, Treecko, and Torchic for beginning Trainers, and this Mudkip's taken a liking to you already, so why not?"

"Heh, cool," Jack grinned. "Mudkip, that alright with you?" he added, addressing the Water-type at his feet.

"Mud kip!" Mudkip replied happily, nodding vigorously.

"And while we're at it, I don't suppose you'd want to upgrade to a Hoenn region Pokédex?" Professor Birch added.

"Hell, no," Jack's and Misty's Pokédexes replied simultaneously before Jack could speak.

"...OK, then," Professor Birch said, evidently weirded out by the fact that he was just told off by two Pokédexes. Simultaneously. "So, I'm gonna head on back to the lab... Oh, I never got your names," he added suddenly.

"Jack. Jack Spearow," Jack replied. "This is my girlfriend Misty."

"Pleased to meet you," smiled Misty.

"And a pleasure to meet the two of you," Professor Birch replied. "Now, you keep following this route, you're gonna get to Oldale Town, and from there, the nearest Pokémon Gym would be in Petalburg City, to the west."

"Pokémon Gym?" Jack repeated, perking up. "Oh yeah, that's right- Hoenn's got a Pokémon League, too. Alright, great. C'mon, Misty, let's get going."

"I should get back to the lab now myself- oh!" Birch remarked. "Just got an idea- Jack, my son Brendan, he just started out as a Pokémon Trainer himself earlier today. He should be on Route 103, helping me to research the local wild Pokémon. What say you go and have a battle with him? He's yet to have a battle against another Trainer, this could be good experience for him."

"Alright sure, why not?" shrugged Jack. "Always got time for a battle."

"Alright, then," grinned Birch as he headed back for Littleroot Town. "Thanks again, Jack!"

"Well, he was nice," Misty remarked as they walked up through Route 101, winding their way past tall ledges and through thick patches of tall grass.

"I'll say," Jack grinned, looking at the Poké Ball containing his new Mudkip. "A hell of an improvement over Professor Oak, at any rate. Maybe Hoenn won't be so bad, y'know? Kanto was just filled with a bunch of screwballs and crazy people. Except, of course, for the Gym Leaders," he added, grinning at Misty, who smiled back at him.

"You two gonna get a room or something?" asked Jack's Pokédex.

"Can it, you overgrown garage door opener," murmured Jack just before he and Misty proceeded to- OK, you know what, I'm not narrating that.



...Are you two quite done yet?!

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Jack said dismissively as he and Misty finally broke apart. "You're starting to sound just like Yucky, y'know, you've done everything but call me sir and compliment yourself with your narration."

"We ever find out his real name?" Misty asked.

"No, and I can't imagine we ever will," said Jack.
End of Chapter 1.​

*Jack and Misty arrive in the Hoenn region.
*It is revealed that Misty, no longer being a Gym Leader, is now restricted to having up to six Pokémon on hand at a time like everyone else.
*It is revealed that Jack deposited all of his Pokémon except Rayquaza in the PC.
*Jack obtains a Mudkip from Professor Birch.
He's back!

It's great to see a new Missingno. Master fic again. This is shaping up to be just as good as the rest of the Adventure of Adventureness series (the Adventures of Adventuresness?) I'd like to be on the PM list by the way.

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
He's back!

It's great to see a new Missingno. Master fic again. This is shaping up to be just as good as the rest of the Adventure of Adventureness series (the Adventures of Adventuresness?) I'd like to be on the PM list by the way.

The Adventures of Adventuresness... Never even thought of calling the series that before, and I gotta say, I'm not hating the sound of it. Also, you've been added to the PM list.

The second chapter is in progress, though is decidedly not as done as the first chapter was when I said it was in the works. There is a possibility of it coming out today, but tomorrow is more likely.

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
Chapter 2: Out With The Oldale
Jack looked at his Pokédex. "Not bad," he conceded, "but I'm thinking next chapter it'll be my turn to do the title."

"Hell, no," said Jack's Pokédex at once. "The Adventure of Adventureness may have been years ago, but one does not simply forget the monstrosities you whip up and call chapter titles. Besides, I'd think you'd be more focused on the local Pokémon. One's right in front of you, after all." Jack looked, and indeed, slowly crawling across the path was a small, red worm with numerous spikes protruding from its body, including two long yellow spikes from its hindquarters.

"What do we got here?" Jack wondered out loud. The Pokédex was quick to reply.

"Wurmple, the Worm Pokémon," said the Pokédex. "Wurmple uses the spikes on its rear to repel predators like Swellow. It also uses them to peel bark off of trees in order to easily access and eat the sap underneath."

"...I'm not impressed," Jack said flatly. He continued to walk, right past the Wurmple.

"Wurmple has two final evolved forms," continued the Pokédex." The Bug and Flying-type Beautifly, and the Bug and Poison-type Dustox."

At the mention of the Poison-type, Jack skidded to a halt and wheeled around. "So, I'm just gonna catch this thing," he said as he threw a Poké Ball. "Go! Rayquaza!"

In a flash of light, Jack's Shiny Rayquaza materialized, shrieking loudly as blue stars swirled around it. Wurmple looked up at the sudden appearance of a large, menacing, Flying type, Shiny legendary Pokémon. Eyes wide with fear, Wurmple stared for a few seconds before making as mad a dash for the safety of the nearby bushes as it could with such small legs.

"Oh, no, you don't," grinned Jack. "Rayquaza! Air Slash!"

Rayquaza shrieked loudly as it took a great swipe of the air with its right claws. In its wake were left several spinning circular saw blades made entirely of air, all of which rushed right towards Wurmple, striking it directly. Wurmple was sent flying straight into a nearby tree, at which point it fell to the ground, unconscious.

"Niiiice," Jack grinned. He reached into the backpack on his back, then frowned as he rummaged around. "Oh, no. No, no, mother of crap, no! Arceus damn it!"

"What?" Misty asked.

"I'm out of Poké Balls!" Jack groaned. "You got any extra?"

"Yeah, right here," Misty said, quickly reaching into her backpack and pulling out a red and white sphere. Jack accepted the Poké Ball, but as he turned back, he saw that Wurmple had come to and was in the process of crawling away.

"No you don't!" he exclaimed, heaving the sphere. "Go, Poké Ball!"

But it was too late- Wurmple had already gotten too far away, now taking shelter in a shrub, and the Poké Ball landed uselessly on the grass.

"Arceus damn it!" Jack exclaimed angrily. "Damn thing moves fast for a bug." He stomped over to the thrown ball and picked it back up. "Here," he grumbled, handing it back to Misty. "Oldale's gotta have a Poké Mart, I'll stock up on Poké Balls there."

"You can keep that, Jack, I got plenty," Misty said. Jack grunted, though grinned his appreciation as he stowed the ball in his backpack. After that, they were off, and in just several minutes, the couple reached the top of a hill, and could see buildings. Houses, mostly, but two buildings in particular stood out- a blue-roofed structure Jack knew had to be a Poké Mart, and the unmistakable red roof of a Pokémon Center.

"So, this is Oldale Town, huh?" said Jack. "Alright, let's head to the Pokémon Center, and then we stock up at the Poké Mart-"

"Hi!" came a voice from behind Jack and Misty. Jumping slightly, the couple wheeled around, and could see a man in his early 20s standing there. He was dressed in the white apron that was the uniform of Poké Mart employees.

"Gah!" Jack exclaimed. "What the hell?! Sneaking up behind people ain't gonna help you make a sale, you know!"

"Well, you two are beginning Trainers, am I right?" the clerk asked, seemingly unperturbed by Jack and Misty's creeped-out responses.

"'Beginning Trainers'?" Jack repeated. "I'm known as a hero in the Kanto region, and I've beaten both the Kanto and Johto Pokémon Leagues, and my girlfriend here you might recognize as a former Gym Leader-"

"Nonsense!" interrupted the clerk. "Follow me!" With that, he walked off towards the Poké Mart. Halfway there, however, he stopped and turned around. Once he realized Jack and Misty weren't following him, he walked back, grabbed them by the arm, and marched them over to the blue-roofed building.

"Ow, damn it!" Jack snapped, yanking his arm free of the Poké Mart clerk's grip. "And get your damn hands off my girlfriend!" he added threateningly.

The Poké Mart clerk said nothing to this, but let go of Misty rather quickly. After this, he produced two ordinary Potions from his apron pocket, the purple spray bottles betraying the fact that it was the most basic and least effective Pokémon restorative. "Now, this is the Poké Mart," he explained, in a tone that suggested his audience's collective age didn't exceed the single digits. "You can recognize our stores by the distinctive blue roof. And here's a free sample for each of you," he said, handing a Potion to each of them.

"Uh huh," Jack said as he and Misty accepted the Potions. "Well, then, I guess, all things considered, I got just one thing to say here... JAAAACK PAAAAWNCH!" he bellowed suddenly, swinging a fist right into the clerk's gut. The punch sent the obnoxious clerk flying backwards, straight through the closely-grouped trees growing behind the Poké Mart.

"Owww..." the clerk groaned from within the bunch of trees. "Well, this isn't the first time mistaking experienced Trainers for rookies got me in here, though I can honestly say it's the first time I've been punched here..."

"Creep," Jack shook his head. "Well, we're here, might as well," he added, leading the way into the Poké Mart.

Behind the counter of the small yet convenient store stood another clerk, dressed in identical clothing to the one who had just been subjected to a JAAAACK PAAAAWNCH. As this clerk noted the disgruntled and distrustful looks on Jack and Misty's faces, he nodded understandingly. "Lemme guess," he greeted them. "You two aren't even close to being rookie Trainers, and the guy outside didn't believe you."

"I take it this isn't the first time, then?" Jack replied.

The clerk sighed. "Look, I'm sorry about him, this kind of thing happens pretty frequently. I'd have fired him long ago, but his heart's in the right place, he's more committed to helping new Trainers than anyone else what that's worked here. So, you two come here just to complain, or you want to buy something?"

"Finally," Jack grinned. "We need Poké Balls. Lots of them. Tried to catch a Wurmple just now only to realize I was all out. Gimme 20, that ought to do it."

"20 Poké Balls it is," the clerk stated, handing Jack four five-packs of Poké Balls. "That'll be 4,000."

"Wait a second, what are those?" Misty asked, pointing to a pair of all-white Poké Balls. Their buttons and the bands going around the middle were ruby-red.

"Ah, those are Premier Balls," explained the clerk. "The Devon Corporation created them to commemorate... something or other. Didn't really read the news story that well. Anyway, point is, you get one free with the purchase of 10 Poké Balls. You bought 20, you get two Premier Balls. They work just as well as a regular Poké Ball, though. They couldn't spring for any extra bells and whistles with these, I guess."

Never one to turn down free stuff, Jack accepted the Premier Balls along with the rest of his purchase without question. He paid the clerk, and he and Misty exited the Poké Mart. The first clerk had somehow managed to extricate himself from the trees, and both Jack and Misty were careful to give him a wide berth as they walked to the Pokémon Center.

"So, Misty," Jack said as Nurse Joy was treating their Pokémon. "Now that you're not a Gym Leader anymore, you thinking of going for some badges?"

Misty smiled. "Possibly," she said. "I mean, I still want to be the greatest Water Pokémon master there ever was, so challenging Gyms might not be a bad idea. I certainly like the idea. Where did Professor Birch say the nearest Gym was?"

"Petalburg City, I think," replied Jack. "Though he also wants me to battle his son. He said the guy just became a Trainer, so that shouldn't take too long."

Misty frowned. "You're not gonna use Rayquaza against him, are you?" she asked. "He's a new Trainer, you should give him a fighting chance."

Jack sighed. "Alright, alright, I'll see how Mudkip fares against him," he said. "After that, though, I want to see how he reacts to Rayquaza."

"Fair enough," conceded Misty.

At that moment, Nurse Joy approached them. She handed two Poké Balls to Jack, and three to Misty. "All done," she smiled. "Your Pokémon are completely fighting fit."

Once they exited the Pokémon Center, the rest of their trek was rather uneventful. Recalling the directions Misty had asked Nurse Joy for, they headed north, past the Poké Mart, until they had reached what had to be Route 103- it was another winding path with tall grass and even taller ledges. Once they reached the northernmost part of the route, and their progress was impeded by trees to their front and left and a river to their right, they spotted a boy who looked to be about 11, maybe 12. He wore a red and black t-shirt, a black and yellow pair of shorts, and a black headband that appeared to conceal where his head stopped and what seemed to be his white hair started. "Alright," he muttered. "The Pokémon on Route 103 seem to be... hmm?" he murmured as he noticed Jack and Misty. "Who are you?"

"I'm Jack, this is Misty," Jack replied. "You Brendan?"

"Yeah," nodded the boy. "How do you know who I am?" he asked warily.

"Your dad wants Jack here to battle you," Misty explained. "Jack saved him from a Poochyena-"

"Yeah, that sounds like Dad, all right," Brendan chuckled. "He loves his field research, but he has a tendency to get himself in trouble. One time, he somehow provoked a bunch of Wurmple into tying his legs together with String Shot. He had to hop the whole way home." Brendan, Jack, and Misty all chuckled at this. "Heh, heh... so, how about that battle?" Brendan asked. "One Pokémon each? I only got one right now."

"Works for me," grinned Jack. Right away, the boys backed up to give themselves enough space for the battle to unfold. Misty stood off to the sidelines to referee.

"OK, this will be a one-on-one battle between Jack Spearow and Brendan Birch!" she declared. "Begin!" Jack and Brendan each produced a Poké Ball, enlarged it with the press of a button, and they threw the balls simultaneously.

"Treecko!" Brendan exclaimed.

"Go! Mudkip!" Jack yelled.

The balls split open simultaneously, Jack's unleashing his Mudkip, and Brendan's Poké Ball releasing a green lizard with a pair of dark green tails. It stared down at Mudkip with big, yellow eyes.

"Treecko, the Wood Gecko Pokémon," said Jack's Pokédex. "Treecko will fearlessly take on any opponent, even ones much larger than itself. Tiny hooks in its feet allow it to scale walls and ceilings effortlessly. Treecko is a Grass-type Pokémon."

"Arceus damn it," sighed Jack. "That figures he has the advantage. Well, whatever- Mudkip, use Sludge!"

"Mudkip!" Mudkip exclaimed before blasting a stream of sludge from its mouth. Treecko took the attack directly, grunting as it struggled against the vile blast.

"Treecko, Pound attack!" Brendan ordered.

"Treecko!" responded Treecko. It nimbly jumped out of the Sludge attack's path, then lunged at Mudkip and twisted around, smacking it with its twin tails. This stopped the Sludge and sent Mudkip tumbling to the ground.

"Use Tackle!" yelled Jack.

"Leer!" said Brendan.

Mudkip climbed to its feet and charged forward, but as it approached Treecko, it could see the frightening glare the Wood Gecko Pokémon was giving it. The Water-type stopped in place.

"Now use Pound again!" Brendan commanded.

"Water Gun!" Jack called.

"Kiiiip... MuuuUuuuuUuuud!" Mudkip bellowed, firing a stream of water from its mouth. Treecko, however, charged straight through the attack, seeming almost refreshed by the attack, and slammed Mudkip with its tails once more.

"Rrrgh..." Jack grunted. "Mudkip, Tackle it!"

"Absorb!" Brendan called out.

As Mudkip charged, Treecko's eyes glowed green. Suddenly, yellow beads of energy emerged from Mudkip's body and were absorbed into Treecko's. Once the last bead of energy left Mudkip's body, the Mud Fish Pokémon collapsed to the ground, making no effort to get up.

"Mudkip is unable to battle!" Misty declared. "Treecko is the winner, so the match goes to Brendan!"

"Yes!" grinned Brendan. "We won our first battle! Way to go, Treecko!"

"Treecko, Treecko," replied Treecko as it folded its arms and flashed a satisfied smirk in Jack's direction.

"Return, Mudkip," Jack hissed through gritted teeth. Once Mudkip was back in its ball, Jack murmured, "You did great, don't worry about it. That kind of thing happens with type disadvantages."

"Thanks for the battle, Jack," Brendan said once he had returned Treecko to its Poké Ball. "Next time we meet, we should definitely battle again."

"Yeah, sounds good," Jack nodded. "You might not be so lucky next time, though," he added as he took another Poké Ball off his belt. "Let's get back to the Pokémon Center, Misty," he added as he tossed the ball into the air. "Rayquaza, prepare for Fly!" he exclaimed as the Shiny Dragon/Flying-type materialized. Pausing only to smirk at Brendan's look of astonishment, Jack climbed onto Rayquaza's back, with Misty not far behind. As Rayquaza took off to take them the ridiculously short distance back to Oldale, Jack knew that the look on Brendan's face was completely worth losing the battle.
End of Chapter 2.​

*Jack tries and fails to catch a Wurmple.
*Jack and Misty meet Brendan Birch.
*Jack battles Brendan and loses.
Oh. My. Flipping. Arceus. It's back.


I came on board late during the Adventure of Adventureness arc (probably near the end of the Random of Randomness), and nearly peed my pants laughing with every chapter. It's like the Deadpool of Serebii fan-fic, and that's a good thing. This looks like it's gonna be just as funny.

Also, SpongeBob references. Oh, it's good to see this again.

Put me on the PM list, please. Your sig says it all; I am not worthy.

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
Oh. My. Flipping. Arceus. It's back.


I came on board late during the Adventure of Adventureness arc (probably near the end of the Random of Randomness), and nearly peed my pants laughing with every chapter. It's like the Deadpool of Serebii fan-fic, and that's a good thing. This looks like it's gonna be just as funny.

Also, SpongeBob references. Oh, it's good to see this again.

Put me on the PM list, please. Your sig says it all; I am not worthy.

You've been added to the PM list, and I'm glad you're liking this so far. :)

The next chapter is coming along well. Really well. Like, start spamming the Refresh button well.

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
Chapter 3: Jack Is Awesome. Oh, So Awesome. He Is So Awesome That The Awesome Of Awesomeness Doesn't Even Come Close To His Levels Of Sheer Awesome Awesome Awesomeness-

Jack, What The Hell? I Already Told You, You're Not Doing The Chapter Titles!

And I Ignored You. It's That Simple. Besides, People Love My Chapter Titles.

No, They Don't! And Even If They Did, Missingno. Master Includes The Chapter Titles In The Table Of Contents Now! Don't You Think This Might Look Just A Little Out Of Place?!

...Huh. I Guess You May Have A Point For Once.
"For once?!" Jack's Pokédex spluttered indignantly. "Oh, and all those times I gave you information on I don't even know how many Pokémon now, what, they don't count?"

"Oh, shut up, you know what I mean," Jack snapped. "And what are all of you looking at?" he added, noticing the stunned looks he was getting from everyone in the Pokémon Center.

"Um..." came a voice from behind Jack. He wheeled around to see Nurse Joy offering him a Poké Ball. "Here's your Mudkip." Wordlessly, Jack accepted the ball and stormed out of the Pokémon Center.

As Jack stepped outside, Misty approached him- she had gone off to return to the Pokémon Center after realizing she was running a little short on various Pokémon medicines. "Got everything you need?" Jack asked.

"Yep," smiled Misty. "I can't believe I was completely out of Paralyze Heals! And I was running low on Potions and Antidotes as well."

"Alright, then, let's get going," replied Jack. He led the way to the west of Oldale Town, down yet another dirt path lined on either side with trees. A wooden sign on the side of the road told them they had entered Route 102, at which point the path opened up into a much more open area. Clusters of trees grew here and there, forming rudimentary pathways, and lots of areas were choked with tall grass. But what caught Misty's eye right away was a large pond to their right.

"Ohhh, wow, I wonder what kinds of Pokémon are in here!" Misty breathed as she raced over to the pond. She looked into the water, vaguely able to make out the shapes of Magikarp and Goldeen beneath the surface. And then, as Jack caught up, she noticed another kind of Pokémon on the surface- a small, blue bug with four long, spindly legs. It was sliding across the surface of the water on these legs with the grace and elegance of a figure skater. Misty took out her Pokédex and pointed it at the newcomer.

"Surskit, the Pond Skater Pokémon," Misty's Pokédex said. "The tips of Surskit's legs secrete an oil that allows it to skate on the surface of the water. It excretes a thick, sweet-smelling syrup from its head that many Pokémon enjoy the taste of. Surskit is a Bug and Water-type Pokémon."

"Bug and Water?" Jack repeated. "That actually raises an interesting question- Misty, remember you used to be afraid of Bug-types?"

"Mm-hmm," nodded Misty.

"And given that you've always loved Water-types, I gotta ask... how would you have reacted if you ever found a Surskit back when you were still scared of Bug-types?"

Misty blinked. "That's... that's a good question," she admitted. "I... I gotta think about that one, I... have no idea how I'd have reacted." Then, she looked at Surskit again and smiled. "What I do know is that that Surskit is so cute," she added. "Alright, I'm gonna catch it!" She took a Poké Ball out of her backpack and enlarged it to full size, but before she could even begin to throw it, a flash of light erupted out of her backpack and materialized into a yellow, confused Pokémon that was perpetually clutching its head.

"Well, I guess you were right about that," Jack commented.


Psyduck tilted its head. "Psy?" it asked.

Misty buried her face in her hands. "Fine," she hissed. "Go on and give it a try. Psyduck, use Confusion!"

Psyduck's only response was to tilt its head even more. "Duck?" it replied. Misty facepalmed.

"Psyduck, return!" Misty snapped, having dug Psyduck's Poké Ball out of her backpack and pointed it at the Duck Pokémon. Once that was done, she buried the ball deep in her backpack and threw the one still clutched in her right hand. "Misty calls Lanturn!" she exclaimed, as the ball split open and unleashed a blue and yellow fish into the pond, the lure at the end of its antennae shining brightly.

"Lan Laaaaaan!" Lanturn chirped as it faced the Surskit, who, up until now, had been giggling at the amusing antics of Misty's Psyduck.

Surskit made the first move. Aiming its yellow antennae at Lanturn, Surskit unleashed a thick stream of foam, blasting Lanturn with a Bubble attack. Lanturn, however, seemed wholly unfazed by this.

"Lanturn, Take Down, go!" Misty commanded.

"Laaaaan!" Lanturn exclaimed, speeding forward through the water. Surskit responded by skating at high speeds across the water, accelerating rapidly. However, as Take Down met Quick Attack, the former won out with little trouble and sent Surskit flying. It landed outside of the pond, and Misty and Jack were already running over to where it had landed.

"Now! Thunderbolt!" ordered Misty.

Lanturn leaped up out of the water, its lure crackling with electricity. And then, it fired a sizzling blast of lightning right at Surskit, lighting up the Pond Skater Pokémon. Once the attack subsided, Surskit slumped to the ground, unconscious.

"All right!" Misty grinned as she pulled a Poké Ball out of her backpack and heaved it at Surskit. "Misty uses a Poké Ball!"

The red-and-white sphere struck the unconscious Surskit. Upon contact, Surskit turned into a shapeless mass of transparent red energy. At the same time, the Poké Ball split open along the black band, and sucked Surskit inside. Once all the energy was sucked into the ball, it snapped shut and fell to the ground. It shook once...

It shook twice...

It shook three times...!

At last, the ball fell still and gave off a single low-pitched ping. Misty had caught Surskit!

"Nice," Jack grinned.

"I'm with Jack for once," stated Jack's Pokédex.

"And I'm with Threesie," added Misty's Pokédex, bringing back her absolutely adorable nickname for her husband.

"'Adorable nickname'?" Jack repeated. "More like nauseating. You just think it's adorable because she's your wife."

"Damn straight I think it's adorable," the Pokédex replied stubbornly. "What's it to you?"

"I'd just like to get through the chapter without barfing, OK?" said Jack. "So why don't you just- OW!"

For at that moment, Jack had walked underneath a tree, and something fell from above and hit him in the head. "See-ee-ee-ee-eedot," something giggled. Jack looked down and saw what appeared to be an oversized acorn with little feet. It was looking up at Jack, and though the look in its eyes was hard to read, Jack had a shrewd suspicion that it was what hit him in the head, and that said fall was no accident.

"The hell is that thing?" Jack muttered, looking down warily at the acorn as though expecting it to explode any second.

"That's a Seedot," Misty replied. "Back in Cerulean Gym, challengers would occasionally use them against me. They're Grass-types."

"Seedot, huh?" Jack said, pointing his Pokédex at the sentient acorn.

"Seedot, the Acorn Pokémon," droned the device. "Seedot dangles from tree branches and sucks moisture from them. It takes delight in scaring people and other Pokémon."

"Oh, yeah?" Jack said as he took out a Poké Ball. "Well, let me tell you something, Seedot- nobody but nobody falls down on my head and gets away with it. Go! Mudkip!" he added, sending out the Mud Fish Pokémon in a flash of light.

"Um, Jack?" said Misty. "Mudkip just lost to a Grass-type."

"Exactly," Jack nodded. "I want Mudkip to be ready for the rematch. Next time we see that Brendan guy, I am taking out his Treecko with my Mudkip, and this guy needs all the practice he can get. Mudkip, use Sludge!"

Seedot, however, made the first move- by spinning around in place, it sent dozens of spinning blades of air flying off its body. Though they flew off in every direction, the blades all converged on Mudkip, cutting through the stream of sludge it was firing from its mouth like a knife through extremely smelly butter.

"Damn!" Jack exclaimed. "That's a pretty strong Razor Wind! Mudkip, try your Tackle attack!"

"Mudkip!" Mudkip replied. It stopped the Sludge, darted out of the way of the oncoming Razor Wind, then tackled Seedot hard, sending the Acorn Pokémon tumbling backwards.

"Sweet!" grinned Jack. "One more time- use Sludge!"

However, as Mudkip fired off another Sludge, Seedot didn't seem too bothered by it. Indeed, its body was taking on a yellow aura as it defiantly stood its ground against the smelly onslaught. And then, a huge beam of yellow light pushed its way through the Sludge, overpowering it altogether- Seedot's Bide struck Mudkip directly, and sent Mudkip flying back. Before Jack could say anything, though, Mudkip dashed forward, then did a sort of spinning jump. It then swiped the ground with its tail in the process, sending a large glob of mud flying up and into Seedot's eyes.

"Dot? Dot?!" Seedot exclaimed as it stumbled around, panicked by its sudden loss of vision.

"Hey, what was that?" Jack asked. "Didn't look like any of the moves Mudkip's used so far."

"Correct, Jack- Mudkip learned Mud-Slap!" confirmed Jack's Pokédex. "A very weak Ground-type move that is guaranteed to reduce its target's accuracy."

"Works for me!" grinned Jack. "Mudkip, Sludge!"

"Mud!" Mudkip exclaimed. However, at the sound of Mudkip's voice, Seedot charged forward, barreling through the oncoming Sludge. And then, just as it seemed as though the Grass-type could take no more, it exploded. An explosive energy blast erupted all around it, sending Mudkip tumbling to the ground, unconscious. However, as the smoke cleared, Jack could tell that Seedot was also unconscious, as the user of an Explosion attack usually ended up.

"Huh," said Jack. Then, he dug into his backpack and took out one of his recently purchased Poké Balls.

"You're gonna catch it?" Misty asked. "You already got a bunch of Grass-types- Venusaur, Simisage, Amoonguss, Victreebel..."

"Don't forget Sunflora," Jack reminded her. "And yeah, I'm gonna catch it. That kind of trickiness could be useful in battle."

"I guess so," Misty conceded.

"That's settled, then," grinned Jack, before he tossed the ball at Seedot. "Go, Poké Ball!" he added.

The ball struck Seedot, converted it into energy, and sucked it in. It snapped shut and landed on the ground, where it shook once...


Three times...!

Jack smirked his satisfaction as the ball pinged, denoting his success at catching Seedot. He scooped up the ball and placed it on his belt, just as Mudkip came to.

"Mud..." it sighed, evidently coming to the realization that it had lost once again.

"Hey, now, enough of that self-pity crap," Jack said. "You did good out there. If Seedot didn't have Explosion up its sleeve, you'd have won. Besides which, a tie's still better than losing, and you did help me catch Seedot."

"Mud, Mudkip," Mudkip replied, its tone suggesting that it conceded that Jack had a point.

"Alright, might as well make use of this," Jack said as he took out the Potion he had gotten from the Oldale Poké Mart clerk, and sprayed it on Mudkip.

Once Mudkip was all healed up, and Misty had administered additional medicine to Seedot, Jack and Misty continued on, though their path was now impeded by various Trainers. Misty decided to give Surskit a shot against a young boy's Zigzagoon, while Jack went up against another young Trainer, in full Bug Catcher gear.

"Finish it!" Jack exclaimed. "Water Gun!"

"Kiiip... MuuuUuuuuUuuuud!" Mudkip bellowed as it blasted the opposing Wurmple with a stream of water from its mouth. When the attack cleared, Wurmple was unconscious.

"Aww, come on!" whined the Bug Catcher. "Wurmple, return!" Once Wurmple was back in its ball, he threw another ball and exclaimed, "Go, Wurmple!"

"OH, COME ON!" Jack exclaimed in all caps. "That's your third Wurmple! Why don't you catch... literally anything else?"

"Wurmple's the only Bug-type I've seen around these parts," shrugged the boy. Jack facepalmed.

"I'm starting to think I spoke too soon about this place being better than Kanto," he grumbled. He then held out Mudkip's Poké Ball. "Mudkip, get back," he added as the ball emitted its red beam and called back its occupant. "Gotta give this thing a shot sometime, and it might as well be now." And he threw another Poké Ball. "Go get it, Seedot!" he exclaimed. Jack's Seedot materialized in a flash of light. "Razor Wind now!"

"Seeeedot dot dot!" Seedot exclaimed, spinning in place and sending blades of air spinning right towards Wurmple. Jack considered himself lucky that Seedot was so willing to listen to him right away- he remembered how, back in Kanto, the Gastly he caught showed a certain reluctance to listen to him initially.

"Use Poison Sting!" grinned the Bug Catcher. Wurmple fired off numerous glowing purple pins from its mouth, but Razor Wind overpowered the attack and sent Wurmple flying backwards. It made no further effort to move.

"Awwww," whined the boy as he withdrew Wurmple. "How did I lose?"

"How did you lose?" chuckled Jack. "Gee, let me think. Can't have had anything to do with the fact that all you got are three Wurmple you can't have caught more than a day ago."

"I just saw you catch that Seedot half an hour ago!" protested the Bug Catcher. "And you clearly got your Mudkip very recently from Professor Birch!"

"Seedot's got natural talent, and Mudkip's been training with me," retorted Jack. He elected to not inform the boy that he just got Mudkip earlier that same day, and thus probably actually had it for even less time than the kid had his Wurmple trio.

"Fiiiiine," whined the Bug Catcher as he slumped away. Once he was out of sight, Jack shot a glare at his Pokédex, but before he could say something, Misty approached him.

"Jack, you should've seen it, Surskit was amazing!" she smiled. "It's really fast, it was skating circles around that Zigzagoon!"

"Awesome," Jack grinned. "Mudkip and Seedot didn't do too bad themselves. Of course, the Wurmple they were up against had all the defensive strength of wet tissue paper, so..."

With that, the couple set off again, and after another half-hour of walking, talking, and battling Trainers, culminating in Jack snapping and taking out someone's Taillow with one hit of Rayquaza's Hyper Beam, they finally arrived at what could only be Petalburg City, as the sun was beginning to set.

"OK," grinned Jack. "So, what say we hit the Pokémon Center, grab a bite to eat, get a room for the night, and then tomorrow morning, we take on Petalburg Gym, first thing?"

"Sounds like a plan to me," smiled Misty. The couple shared a mercifully brief kiss, and Jack shot his Pokédex a nasty glare.

"What?" Jack's Pokédex said defensively.

"I'm only gonna say this once," Jack replied. "Either you cut it out the way you're narrating all the moments between me and Misty, or I'll take over the narrating."

"Hell, no!" exclaimed the Pokédex. "You think I've forgotten how crappy your narration is?"

"I beg your freaking pardon?" growled Jack. "My narration is perfection!"

"I'm with Jack on this one," Misty added.

"Misty, I know you love him, but come on," said her Pokédex. "You gotta admit Threesie's got a point."

"Thank you!" said Jack's Pokédex. "Now how about this? Before this whole thing erupts into a big argument, what say we just do what Jack said, go to the Pokémon Center, and call it a day? We can save the debate about narration and whatnot for another time."

"Alright, fine," Jack sighed. "But I get to do the next chapter title."

"Hell, no!" exclaimed Jack and Misty's Pokédexes simultaneously as Jack and Misty walked into the Pokémon Center.
End of Chapter 3.​

*It is revealed that the three Pokémon Misty brought to Hoenn are Psyduck, Lanturn, and Foongus.
*Misty's Lanturn is revealed to know Take Down.
*Misty catches a Surskit.
*Jack's Mudkip learns Mud-Slap.
*Jack is revealed to have evolved his Weepinbell into Victreebel.
*Jack catches a Seedot.
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I think the funniest thing about the chapter title is you actually added that chapter title to the index.


stick in the mud
MY GOD. The fanfic that brought me to Serebii 3 years ago is making a comeback. I was pretty surprised when I got the PM. I should read the entire thing again...

Anyway, put me back on the PM list please!

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
I think the funniest thing about the chapter title is you actually added that chapter title to the index.
Can you imagine that if I had done that with the table of contents in the original thread?

MY GOD. The fanfic that brought me to Serebii 3 years ago is making a comeback. I was pretty surprised when I got the PM. I should read the entire thing again...

Anyway, put me back on the PM list please!
You've been added! :)

The next chapter is coming along pretty well, I'm hoping to have it out by the weekend. Tomorrow's a possibility (Friday, for those of you who are already past midnight- it's 11:25 PM Thursday night in my timezone right now), though Saturday is a bit more realistic of an expectation.

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
Chapter 4: Max-imum Capacity
The doors to the Petalburg City Pokémon Center swung open as Jack confidently strolled out, with Misty by his side.

"I'm ready!" Jack declared with a grin. "Petalburg Gym, here we come!"

"Jack, you didn't withdraw any Pokémon, though," his Pokédex reminded him. "I told you, Petalburg's Gym Leader specializes in Normal-types. I'd have thought you'd have gotten Lucario or Primeape ready, or even Wobbuffet, y'know?"

"It's not a bad idea," Jack agreed, "but I want to see how Seedot and Mudkip fare, they need more experience. Besides, if all else fails, I've always got Rayquaza as backup."

"Yeah, and I want to see how Surskit and Foongus do," Misty added to her Pokédex. "I... Huh," she murmured, seeming to come to the realization that if those two failed, her only backup was a Lanturn and her Psyduck. "Jack, what do you think?" she asked. "Should I get Rhyperior out of the PC?"

"Might not be a bad idea," said Jack. "Lanturn's not exactly built for battling on dry land, and Psyduck's... Psyduck."

"Well, that settles that, then," Misty stated, already pressing buttons on her Pokédex, causing another Poké Ball to appear on her belt. "Let's see those Normal moves make a dent in Rhyperior."

"Let's get going, then," grinned Jack." With that, he led the way down the street, until they came to a large, white building. It really wasn't a long walk at all, but Jack didn't care- the sign out front was clear enough, this was the Petalburg Gym. He marched up to the double doors and pushed them open.

Inside the Gym, the one large room before them consisted of a large, rectangular dirt battlefield, surrounded on all sides by a highly polished wooden floor. On the opposite end of the battlefield stood a man with black hair, wearing a red and white jacket over a white shirt, and dark blue jeans.

"Well, hello," the man greeted them. "Welcome to Petalburg Gym! I am Norman, the Gym Leader, and who might you two be?"

"The name's Jack. Jack Spearow," Jack replied. "And this here is my girlfriend Misty. We've come to challenge you to a Gym battle."

"Fantastic," grinned Norman. "Now, how many badges have you each earned in the Hoenn region thus far?"

Jack and Misty exchanged surprised glances, then turned back to Norman. "Uh, none, yet," said Misty. "This is the first Gym we've been to since we came to Hoenn."

Norman blinked in surprise. "No Gym badges yet?" he said. "...Oh. Well, I'm afraid I don't accept challenges from challengers with fewer than four of Hoenn's Gym badges."

"WHAT?!" Jack exclaimed in all caps. "What the hell kinda rule is that?!"

"Actually, Jack, Gym Leaders do have the right to enforce that kind of rule," Misty said fairly. "Most Gym Leaders just choose not to, because they have a wide enough variety of Pokémon to take on Trainers of all skill levels while still making it a fair fight."

"She's right," Norman nodded. "Thing is, I prefer to just train a select few Pokémon, and they're all pretty strong, so I couldn't in good conscience go up against someone who hasn't proven themselves against half of Hoenn's Gym Leaders."

"I bet you'd change your mind in a heartbeat if you saw what's in this Poké Ball," Jack said at once, Rayquaza's Poké Ball already in his hand.

"Jack, was it?" said Norman. "Jack, I have heard that line time and time again from potential challengers, and let me tell you, every single time, it does nothing to change my mind. Nothing. Go on, send it out, lemme see."

Jack grinned. "I'm gonna enjoy this," he muttered to Misty before tossing the ball into the air. "Rayquaza, destroy!" he exclaimed.

The ball opened up, pouring out a large amount of bright light, which formed itself into the imposing serpentine shape of Jack's Rayquaza. As its pitch-black form became visible, blue stars flew around it. Jack's grin widened as Norman's jaw dropped. "...Alright, that's a new one on me," he admitted feebly.

"Whoooaaaaa!" exclaimed a voice. Jack looked- coming through a door near the back of the room was a young boy with dark blue hair. He was wearing a green shirt, dark brown shorts, and a pair of glasses. He raced over to Rayquaza and looked up at it in awe.

"Max, what are you doing?" Norman frowned. "You know the rules- you don't watch the Gym battles, so as to not disrupt the challengers."

"I know, Dad, but you already said you weren't gonna battle him," the boy named Max replied. "So I'm not intruding on a Gym battle, am I? Oh, wow, it's really the legendary Rayquaza?!" he added, turning back to the Shiny legendary, decidedly the most interesting thing in the room at that moment. "That's incredible! And it's Shiny, too! Wow, the odds of that, they've got to be, what, one in eight thousand, one hundred ninety-two? Or one in four thousand ninety six, if the latest Kalosian census is any indicator..."

"Sorry about this," Norman said to Jack. "This is my son, Max, and he's still a bit young to be a Trainer just yet, so any opportunity to be close to a Pokémon, he takes it."

"You gotta be Jack, then, right?" Max asked Jack.

Jack blinked in surprise. "My reputation precedes me, I guess. Yeah, I'm Jack, how do you know that?"

"I saw the TV news reports a few years ago," Max explained. "The ones about how the same Trainer who used a Shiny Rayquaza in Kanto's Pokémon League also saved the world from Team Rocket. This is so cool!"

"Heh, well, I guess I am kinda cool," Jack grinned in what he so erroneously considered to be a modest fashion.

"No, not you- your Rayquaza!" Max said. Jack facepalmed with one hand as he- OW!- slapped his Pokédex with the other hand...

"So, Norman," Jack said, changing the subject abruptly. "How about it? Now do you accept our challenges? And bear in mind that Misty here is a former Gym Leader. I can personally vouch for her skills as a Trainer. Misty beamed at him.

"Misty?" Max repeated, the name distracting him from Rayquaza. "Oh, yeah, I remember you! I met you back when I was traveling with May, Ash, and Brock, remember?"

"Oh, yeah!" Misty smiled. "I remember that!

"Anyway, Jack," Norman said to Jack, "I'm afraid I wouldn't feel right violating the Gym's policy, undoubtedly impressive though your Rayquaza is. Make no mistake, though, I definitely look forward to battling the two of you once you each have four badges."

"Ugh, fine," grumbled Jack. "Well, that's a bit of a letdown," he added to Misty, before turning back to Norman. "Alright, so, where's the nearest Gym?" he asked.

"That'd be the Gym in Rustboro City," Norman replied. "You go west from here until you're out of the city, then go north through Petalburg Woods, and it's a short walk to Rustboro from there."

"Hey, Dad," Max said suddenly. "Can I travel with Jack and Misty?"

"What?" Jack, Misty, their Pokédexes, and Norman said simultaneously.

"Yeah! Can I?" Max asked. "I wanna travel around Hoenn at least one more time before I'm old enough to become a Trainer, and Jack's got that really cool Rayquaza!"

"I don't know," Norman frowned. "Last time was one thing, you were with your sister, but these are just a couple of challengers we just met."

"But I've met Misty before," argued Max. "And you saw those news reports about Jack, too, he saved the Kanto region! And I promise I'll call you and Mom every day on my PokéNav! Pleeeease?"

"PokéNav?" Jack repeated. "What's that?"

"Check it out," grinned Max as he pulled out of his pocket what appeared to be a slightly oversized yellow Game Boy Advance SP. "This is actually the Devon Corporation's latest model, the Pokénav Plus. It's got a map of the Hoenn region, it can scan an area and tell you the kinds of wild Pokémon living there, it gets all the Pokémon TV news channels, and it even makes phone calls."

"Really?" Jack said, with obvious interest.

"Pfft," scoffed his Pokédex. "Does it have an internet browser like me?"

"Wha- what was that?" Max asked, looking around. Sighing, Jack pulled his Pokédex out of his pocket.

"That'd be me," said Jack's Pokédex. "And I happen to think my features put that oversized Game Boy to shame."

"Oh, really?" came a voice from the PokéNav Plus. "I deliver the latest in Pokémon news, day or night."

"I have an internet browser," retorted the Pokédex.

"I tell you what Pokémon can be found in a specific area."

"I tell you wherever a specific Pokémon can be found."

"I have a map of Hoenn."

"So do I."

"I can make phone calls."

"I can turn into a giant fighting robot."

"No, you can't!" scoffed the PokéNav.

In response, Jack's Pokédex wriggled out of his grip and transformed into a giant fighting robot in midair. "Yes, I can."

Both Max and his PokéNav were speechless by this point. Satisfied, the Pokédex resumed its usual form and landed back in Jack's hand. Jack pocketed the device, as though his Pokédex transforming into a giant fighting robot was an everyday occurrence.

"...WHOA," Max exclaimed in all caps. "I wasn't expecting that!"

"Yeah, surprised me pretty good the first time, too," agreed Jack.

"Alright, I've thought about it," Norman said suddenly. "Max... If you really promise to call me and your mother every day, then yes, you can travel with Jack and Misty."

"All right!" cheered Max. Then, something occurred to him. "Eh, it's OK with you guys, right?" he asked.

"Sure!" smiled Misty.

Jack shrugged. "I don't see why not," he said as he held out the Poké Ball, withdrawing Rayquaza in the process.

"All right!" cheered Max again. "I'm gonna go and pack and say good-bye to Mom, be right back!" With that, he raced back out of the room through the same door he entered through.

Norman turned to Jack and Misty. "Former Gym Leader, huh?" he said to Misty. "What Gym?"

"Cerulean City, Kanto region," replied Misty. "I stepped down from the position so I could start traveling again, and to spend more time with my boyfriend," she said, putting an arm around Jack, who grinned at Misty. Just then, Misty's Pokédex spoke up.

"I am Pokédex model three point four," she said. "I am registered to Misty, and can confirm her former status as the Cerulean City Gym Leader."

"Ah," nodded Norman. "OK, then. And Jack, my son's right- I did indeed hear about you saving the world from Team Rocket."

"Ehh, it was no big deal," Jack said modestly. "Well, OK, yeah, kind of a big deal, maybe..."

"He's a hero," said Misty.

"Well, I can't argue with that logic," grinned Jack.

"Well, I guess Max'll be in good hands, then," Norman said with a slight smile. "Just make sure he doesn't forget to call home every day, alright?"

"No problem," said Misty. Jack merely gave a small nod, still more interested in Misty than in what was being discussed.

Just then, the door burst open, and Max came running back into the room. This time, he wore a yellow backpack on his back. "Alright, I'm all set!" he declared. "Bye, Dad!"

One semi-brief exchange of farewells later, the trio exited Petalburg Gym, and, with Norman's instructions in mind, headed west. Max led the way, glancing at his PokéNav every minute or so, checking the map of the city.

"You guys leave the navigating to me," he said confidently. "I know this city like the back of my hand."

"I dunno, this is a pretty big city," remarked Jack. "You sure we're not lost?"

"Of course we're not lost," Max scoffed dismissively. "I know exactly where we're going-"

At that moment, however, Max stopped talking abruptly, for he had noticed a sign posted by the side of the road, with "Route 102" painted on it.

"Oh, yeah," Jack said sarcastically. "You know exactly where we're going. Riiiight."

"Yeah, well, I'd like to see you do better," huffed Max. "What, you think you can navigate my own hometown better than me?"

"I think I know my east from my west," retorted Jack. "Makes me a better navigator than you right there."

"Um, guys?" said Misty. As Jack and Max turned to look, the ex-Gym Leader pointed at the sign- or rather, the man pulling the sign out of the ground, dressed up like some sort of construction worker.

"The hell?" said Jack.

"Yeah, there was a mix-up the other day," sighed the man. "Wrong sign was sent here by mistake." With that, he stuck an identical wooden signpost into the ground in the old sign's place and walked off with the old sign. The new sign read "Route 104".

Max smirked at Jack. "What was that about me not knowing my east from my west?" he said smugly. Jack facepalmed, just barely resisting the urge to respond with words his Pokédex would have ended up bleeping out anyway.

Route 104 was beautiful- the grassy field gave way to a sandy beach, which in turn gave way to the wide-open sea. A lone cottage sat by the water, a small boat docked nearby.

"Wow," Misty breathed as she ran out onto the beach. "The sea! It's so beautiful!"

"Then you're gonna love when our travels take us to the more eastern parts of Hoenn," remarked Max.

Jack opened his mouth to add something, but was interrupted by the sound of footsteps behind them. "What the hell?" he murmured as he wheeled around, to be met by two approaching Trainers. One of them was another Bug Catcher like the one on Route 102, and the other one was slightly older, a Fisherman by the look of his outfit. Also, the fishing rod slung over his shoulder was somewhat of a clue.

"Hey," the Fisherman greeted them. "Name's Chris, and this is Irwin. We'd like to take on you two in a tag battle," he said, pointing at Jack and then Misty.

The couple exchanged grins. "That sound good, Jack?" asked Misty.

"Works for me," Jack grinned back.

"Oh, cool, this is gonna be great!" Max said, his head already swimming with visions of Jack's Rayquaza decimating the competition.

"Yeah, no, I'm not using Rayquaza," Jack muttered to Max. "Gonna give one of my other Pokémon a shot here."

Max blinked. "But how'd you know that's what I thought you'd use?" he asked.

Jack froze. He was so used to the complete and total lack of a fourth wall that it simply didn't occur to him that Max wouldn't know that he could basically know whatever he was thinking as long as it was detailed in the narration. "Well... I mean, the way you were practically drooling all over it back at the Gym," he stammered, entirely unconvincingly. "Yeah, yeah, that's good... Yeah, it was pretty obvious you wanted to see it in action."

"...OK," Max said slowly. By the look on his face, he didn't buy into Jack's unbelievably lame excuse one bit- GACK! Ack urgle gackkkkk.... ugh... ulp... *GAAAAASP!* *pant* *pant* Once Jack finally relinquished his cold, unforgiving grip on his poor, sweet, innocent Pokéde- GAACK! Ow! OK, I mean, once Jack let go of the Pokédex- GACK! I mean device- ACK!- cheesebox- GAACK- overgrown garage door opener- ...nothing? That's good? OK. Anyway, by the look on Max's face, he wasn't believing Jack's excuse for a minute. By the time Jack turned back around, Chris and Irwin were throwing their Poké Balls.
End of Chapter 4.​

*Jack and Misty learn that they must acquire four Hoenn Gym badges before battling Norman.
*Max joins the group.
*Jack and Misty learn that the nearest Pokémon Gym is in Rustboro City.
"I can turn into a giant fighting robot."

"No, you can't!" scoffed the PokéNav.

In response, Jack's Pokédex wriggled out of his grip and transformed into a giant fighting robot in midair. "Yes, I can."

Never gets old.
I came back two days ago from a six month hiatus to find a new Adventure of Adventureness series starting. Now I'm trapped; I can't leave serebii until it's finished. ;_;
Looking forward to reading it, great work so far as usual!

EDIT: PM list please?

EDIT 2: You are now forcing me to reread the entire Adventures of Adventureness.
Last edited:

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
I came back two days ago from a six month hiatus to find a new Adventure of Adventureness series starting. Now I'm trapped; I can't leave serebii until it's finished. ;_;
Looking forward to reading it, great work so far as usual!

EDIT: PM list please?

EDIT 2: You are now forcing me to reread the entire Adventures of Adventureness.

*1, 2, and... poof!*

*Missingno. Master forgot Slack Off!*


*Missingno. Master learned Block!*

And you have been added to the PM list! :)

Next chapter's getting done, no promises as to when it'll be done. That said, I do have the vast majority of tomorrow to myself- *checks clock* Whoa, make that later today, after midnight already. But anyway, my point still stands- I got most of the day to myself, so it's likely I'll get a lot done on the next chapter. I'm not saying it'll be out today, but I'm not saying it won't, either.

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
Chapter 5: Wood Not!
"Go, Silcoon!" exclaimed Irwin.

"And go, Magikarp!" yelled Chris.

Twin flashes of light emerged from the spheres, one forming into what appeared to be a slightly squashed white ball with spikes and eyes, and the other forming into a red fish, flopping incessantly on the beach. Jack took out his Pokédex and pointed it at the former.

"Silcoon, the Cocoon Pokémon, and an evolved form of Wurmple," droned the device. "Silcoon was originally believed to not eat, but has been discovered to drink the dew that gathers on its shell. Magikarp, the Fish Pokémon. Magikarp can jump out of the water at a height up to seven feet. Using Splash, however, can get an experienced Magikarp over a large mountain in one bound."

"Oh, we can handle these! Alright- go, Mudkip!" Jack exclaimed, throwing a Poké Ball.

"Misty calls Surskit!" Misty added, her own Poké Ball on its way in as well.

Another pair of flashes of light, and the two Water-types materialized on the sand. Mudkip and Surskit both faced their admittedly pathetic-looking adversaries, ready for battle.

Jack called out the first command. "Mudkip! Use Sludge on Magikarp!"

"Surskit, Bubble attack!" Misty ordered.

"Muuuuud!" Mudkip exclaimed as it fired off a stream of smelly sludge from its mouth.

"Suuurskiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" Surskit trilled, unleashing a powerful spray of foam from its antennae.

"Magikarp! Splash attack!" Chris called out.

"And Silcoon, you use Harden!" added Irwin.

Silcoon stood still, its shell seeming to gleam in the sunlight, while Magikarp flopped up and down more vigorously. Neither of these moves had any effect whatsoever- Harden did nothing to protect Silcoon from the Bubble attack, and Splash didn't help Magikarp evade Mudkip's Sludge. As the Pokémon took the attacks, they fell to the ground and did not move.

"...That's it?" Jack demanded. As Chris and Irwin withdrew their unconscious Pokémon and walked away, Jack took his Pokédex out of his pocket. "This is the big, dramatic battle you put on hold to end the last chapter with a cliffhanger?"

"Chapter?" Max interrupted. "Jack, what are you talking about? And how'd you really know I was imagining you using Rayquaza?"

Jack sighed. Explaining what he was about to explain was never easy. "Alright, lemme see how to put this... You know about Pokémon fanfiction, right?" he asked Max.

Max's eyes brightened. "Do I!" he replied. "I've read lots of good ones- The Retelling of Pokémon Colosseum, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Creature of Storms, 404 Error-"

"Yeah, that last one's pretty overrated if you ask me, but you get the idea," interrupted Jack. "OK... ever hear of one called The Adventure of Adventureness?"

Max thought about this. "I think so," he said finally. "Never read it, but I've heard it's some kind of series."

"Well, forget reading it, you're living it," Jack stated. "You're apparently one of the protagonists in the fifth story in the series, The Hoenn of Hoenness. Well, sixth, depending on whether Missingno. Master can make up his mind as to whether that handful of special chapters constitutes its own series..."

As Jack trailed off, his words left a stunned silence in their wake. This, of course, was not news to Misty, but she was looking at Max, wondering how he was going to take in all this information. It was pretty tough for Misty to believe at first, though she adjusted to the idea pretty quickly.

Max simply stared at Jack for a moment, mouth agape. Then, he took a deep breath... and laughed.

"Ahahahahahaaaa!" Max laughed. "That's a good one! Protagonist in some Pokémon fanfic... Oh, oh, what next, you're gonna tell me that your Pokédex is narrating it?"

"Yeah, actually," said Jack. "We used to have some guy with a British accent doing the narration, but he declined the offer to do this one, so my Pokédex filled in."

Max laughed even harder. "Oh, man, that's hilarious!" he chuckled. "But come on, Jack," he added as he stopped laughing. "It makes no logical sense for us to be protagonists in some work of fiction. It's just words on a computer screen, probably typed up by some guy with no social life."

"You know, for some kind of know-it-all, you sure ain't getting the hint," Jack frowned. "Alright, you need more convincing? I know just the thing." Jack dug into his backpack, and after a few minutes of digging, extracted a small, silver cube with a big red button on one side.

Max adjusted his glasses as he looked at the object in Jack's hand. "What is that?" he asked.

"This is a plot device," Jack replied. "I press the button, something good happens, and then something bad happens to balance things out. Authors of fanfics supply the narrators with these just before the story begins, so I swiped them from my Pokédex."

"Which, for the record, I did not appreciate!" interjected Jack's Pokédex.

"SHUT UP!" Jack roared at the device in all caps before turning back to Max. "Anyway, watch and learn," he said as he pressed the big red button.

At first, aside from the plot device vanishing into thin air, nothing happened. Jack and Misty looked around as Max shook his head skeptically. Then, Jack looked up, and was met with the sight of a small cardboard box falling directly towards him. Managing to catch it, Jack opened it up and looked inside to see a number of spherical pieces of candy in shiny blue wrappers.

"Rare Candies!" Max exclaimed. "And there's gotta be a dozen in there! Rare Candies are tasty treats that have a beneficial effect on the Pokémon that eats them, each one causing a slight boost in the Pokémon's power, or level, if you will-"

"Oh, knock it off, I know what they are," Jack grinned. "Now do you believe me?"

Max folded his arms stubbornly. "It's gonna take a lot more than a box of Rare Candies falling from the sky to get me to believe that we're in a fanfic," he insisted. "They probably fell out of an airplane. Or maybe an Abra got ahold of the box and let go of it by accident while Teleporting all over the place, that kind of thing has been known to happen-"

"Or maybe you're in denial," Jack smirked.

"Yeah, well, where's this supposed downside?" Max demanded.

Jack opened his mouth to respond, but at that moment, a suspicious glob of an even more suspicious white substance landed on his hat. Looking up, Jack saw a small white bird with long wings flying overhead. As Max laughed uncontrollably, Jack took out his Pokédex and pointed it at the offending avian.

"Wingull, the Seagull Pokémon," droned the device. "Wingull catches the sea winds with its long, narrow wings and soars on them. When at rest, it folds in its wings."

"Ohh, it's so cute!" Misty squealed.

"I like it!" Max chuckled.

"Now I know how Yucky felt, back on Skyarrow Bridge," grumbled Jack. "Well, not really, I guess- I only got crapped on by one Wingull, he got crapped on by half a flock of- GAAAAH!" he exclaimed, for at that moment, an entire flock of Wingull flew overhead, half of them taking that moment to, ahem, relieve themselves. Right onto Jack.

Max was laughing harder than ever, and even Misty was finding it difficult to contain her laughter, though she was making a definite effort to not laugh.

"THAT IS IT!" Jack roared in all caps, running after the flock of Wingull. "GET BACK HERE, YOU FEATHERED RATTATA WITH WINGS! I'M GOING TO KILL EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU SONS OF-" At this point, Jack's Pokédex began overriding the vast majority of Jack's ranting with loud bleeps.

"Does he get like this a lot?" Max asked Misty.

"It's been known to happen," Misty replied. "Don't worry- he mostly just yells a lot, and he'll damage property, but not people or Pokémon. Except for complete and total jerks who have it coming, anyway." Misty looked back at Jack, who had finally stopped ranting and was now having Mudkip wash the Wingull crap off of him with Water Gun.

Once Jack was completely free of Wingull poop, he approached Misty and Max. "So, now do you believe me?" he asked Max.

"Nope," smirked Max.

"I see," Jack said in a surprisingly calm tone. "Excuse me a second." He walked across the beach until he came to a sizable rock, almost as tall as he was, and much wider. He took a deep breath, then made a fist and drew it back. "JAAAACK PAAAAWNCH!" he screamed as his fist connected forcefully with the rock, shattering it into millions of pieces of gravel on impact. The gravel rained down on the surface of the sea, causing a couple of Tentacool to swim away with great haste.

"How did he do that?" Max asked. "Even with that kind of muscle, a rock that size should be a bit more resilient than that."

"Jack's just good like that," Misty smiled.

"Ahhh," Jack sighed as he walked back over to Misty and Max. "I needed that. I really did. Alright, we might as well go on through Petalburg Woods, hmm?"

"Let's go!" Misty smiled. She and Jack withdrew Surskit and Mudkip, Jack dumped the crate of Rare Candies into his backpack, and the trio was off, headed towards the numerous trees that stood to the north of them.

Minutes later, they had entered the forest, traveling down a straightforward dirt path, lined with trees on either side. The trees were so numerous that their leafy branches served to block out a great deal of sunlight.

"Man, I haven't been through here in a long time," Max remarked, glancing around.
"I'm not seeing a lot of wild Pokémon, though- last time, that was because there was this flock of Taillow, and they're real territorial."

"Huh," Jack replied. "Well, Rayquaza's more than a match for some flock of Taillow."

"Don't be so sure," said Max. "Taillow are unbelievably persistent. I've seen them fight their way right through a Thunderbolt attack with sheer willpower.

"Did you, now?" Jack asked, sounding intrigued. "Sounds pretty tough. Maybe I'll catch myself a Taillow."

"I just hope the Taillow don't attack us for just passing through," Misty murmured.

"Hey," Jack grinned at Misty. "Any Taillow want to attack you, they gotta go through me." Misty smiled at Jack, and then they came in for a kiss.

"Are you two going to do that often?" asked Max's PokéNav. "We're barely a quarter of the way through the forest, and if this is what I got to look forward to all day..."

"Oh, shut up," Jack grinned as he and Misty broke apart. "I- what the?" he said suddenly, for he saw a thin, pale man in a lab coat approaching them from up ahead. A silver briefcase was clutched in his right hand.

"Excuse me," the man said to them. "I don't suppose any of you have seen any Shroomish around here?"

"No," replied Misty. "In fact, we haven't seen any wild Pokémon since we've entered the forest."

The man sighed. "I was afraid of that," he said sadly. "Shroomish are rare finds in this forest. I really like that Pokémon, so I come here whenever I have a break from work to see if I can catch one for myself, but so far, nothing."

"Hey!" interrupted a voice. The man turned and looked- an oddly dressed man was approaching the group, clad in a thick and heavy red hooded outfit, with a stylized black "M" on the chest. It looked like clothing far too warm for the tropical climate of Hoenn.

"Oh, no," Max groaned. "I thought those clowns were done for!"

"What clowns?" Jack frowned.

"Team Magma!" replied Max. "A group of bad guys trying to expand the world's landmass. They were always at odds with another gang, Team Aqua, who were trying to expand the seas."

"...That's just stupid," Jack and Misty said simultaneously.

Meanwhile, the hooded man was addressing the scientist. "You, Devon reasearcher! Hand over those goods now!" he ordered.

In response, the scientist ran and hid behind the trio. "C-c-can you guys do something?" he asked shakily. "I- I don't have any Pokémon, I can't stop this guy if he has any!"

Jack rolled his eyes. After fighting off various evil gangs in the past, he really wasn't looking forward to tackling yet another one, but he stepped forward all the same. The Team Magma Grunt noticed this and grinned.

"Oho!" he chuckled. "So, what, you're gonna defend this guy? From moi? I think not!" He pressed a button on a small black box attached to his belt, and epic music started to play. Then, he plucked a Poké Ball off his belt, enlarged it, and threw it. "Go, Poochyena!" he exclaimed, the Bite Pokémon appearing in a flash of light, growling at Jack.

Jack, meanwhile, had already thrown a Poké Ball of his own. "Go! Seedot!" he yelled as the Grass-type materialized on the ground, standing right between Poochyena and Jack.

"Poochyena, Tackle it! Now!" ordered the Grunt.

"Seedot! Harden attack!" Jack exclaimed.

"Seeeedot!" Seedot replied as it stood completely still, its body suddenly seeming to gleam in what little sunlight reached through the trees. Poochyena charged forward, but bounced off of Seedot's body with a loud clanging noise.

"Now use your Razor Wind attack!" Jack smirked.

"Seeeedot dot dot!" Seedot exclaimed, as it proceeded to spin in place, sending blades of air flying off in every direction. They quickly converged on Poochyena, who whimpered and whined as the attack connected.

"Gah!" the Grunt grunted. "Poochyena, try using Bite!"

"Bide!" Jack ordered. Poocheyna charged forward again, this time with fangs bared, but Seedot gave off a bright yellow glow as the Dark-type move connected, and did not react to the attack. Now nervous, Poochyena backed off, ignoring its Trainer's command to use Howl, but the damage had already been done. Seedot then unleashed a powerful beam of energy, striking Poochyena, dealing twice the damage its Bite did in the first place. As the attack ceased, Poochyena collapsed to the ground, unconscious.

"Come back, Poochyena!" snapped the Grunt, holding out the Poké Ball with one hand while stopping the music with the other. "Grr... I'd come at you with another Pokémon... if I had one..." he grumbled, glaring at Jack.

"That being the case, I suggest you get the hell outta here before I come at you with my fist," Jack threatened. At this, the Grunt ran away.

"This isn't over!" he bellowed. "We of Team Magma are still after something in Rustboro!"

The scientist sighed a sigh of relief. "Thank you," he said to Jack. "Thanks to you, that thug didn't rob me of my important goods," he added, gesturing to his silver briefcase. "This has gotta get delivered to Slateport City, see. Anyway, here, take this as thanks," he added as he produced a Poké Ball from his pocket, albeit one with a blue top half, with two red stripes running across the top. "It's a Great Ball, works better than a regular Poké Ball."

"Cool," Jack remarked as he shoved the Great Ball into his backpack. Before he could say anything else, though, the scientist tensed up.

"Wait- that Team Magma kook said they were after something in Rustboro?" he muttered, more to himself than anyone else. And then, he ran off. "Sorry! It's a crisis, can't waste time!" he called back as he faded from view.

Jack, Misty, and Max all just stared ahead for a moment, each of them trying to think of something to say about what just happened. When nothing came to mind, they all just continued to walk down the path.

"OK, Max, are you seriously not hearing that?" Jack said suddenly. "My Pokédex narrated all throughout that so-called silence."

Max shrugged. "Everybody has their hobbies," he replied. "If your Pokédex's hobby is narrating real life as it happens, then good for it."

"RRRRRRGH!" Jack exclaimed in all caps.
End of Chapter 5.​

*Jack reveals to Max their existence as fanfic characters, but Max doesn't believe it.
*Jack acquires a dozen Rare Candies.
*Jack's Seedot is revealed to know Harden.
*Jack and co. have their first encounter with Team Magma.
Nice chapter MM would scan for errors but CBA. I take it this will be like Emerald and have both teams?

Also will Max be getting any Pokémon and will Jack get a gulpin/swalot?
loving Max's denial that he's in a fabric. Just get 3.3 to talk and sow him (standing back so he doesn't get sick at Motor B drinking pop up blood!)