• Hi all. We have had reports of member's signatures being edited to include malicious content. You can rest assured this wasn't done by staff and we can find no indication that the forums themselves have been compromised.

    However, remember to keep your passwords secure. If you use similar logins on multiple sites, people and even bots may be able to access your account.

    We always recommend using unique passwords and enable two-factor authentication if possible. Make sure you are secure.
  • Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

The Hoennian Dream

Status
Not open for further replies.

The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
First of all, yes I'm fully aware the whole Brendan & May thing has been done for quite some time now. But this is more like the manga than the anime; hell it's a fusion of the two. Rated PG now, PG-13 later.

Chapter Directory:

*Chapter 1: Fear & Loathing In Littleroot

*Chapter 2: Keeping Up With The Birches Part 1

*Chapter 2: Keeping Up With The Birches Part 2

*Chapter 3: Wurmple-ing Your Way Out

*Chapter 4: Spies Among The Shroomish

*Chapter 5: Roxanne Of Green Gables

*Chapter 6: Ocean's Devon

*Chapter 7: A Pleasant Rattle, A Vicious Battle, Among Mr. Briney's Ship

*Chapter 8: Spontaneous Pokemon Combusken

*Chapter 9: Tyranitars, Iron Ore and a Disturbing Gift

*Chapter 10: A Scanner And A Secret

*Chapter 11: Battle Tent Over Your Head

*Chapter 12: Awaken The Beast Within

*Chapter 13: We're Here By Accident...

*Chapter 14: Jirachi Casino

*Chapter 15: Watt The Hell?

*Chapter 16: Daycare Dimbats, Poke-James Dean and Sadism

*Chapter 17: Cometh The Shadow Of Hope

*Chapter 18: And Wally Makes Three

*Chapter 19: The Orphan Of Meteor Falls

*Chapter 20: Mothers, Water Dragons & The Sea Devil

*Chapter 21: Upstart Gym Leader My Left Foot

*Chapter 22: Mr. Mistbloom and the Parting Of The Ways

*Chapter 23: Diamond In The Rough
_____________________________

Chapter 1: Fear and Loathing in Littleroot

Littleroot, I ask you. Not the place for a city boy, like Brendan Knight. He and his family had moved from Goldenrod City in Johto because his dad flunked the Gym Leader test. So why couldn't he go to Petalburg? That was where his dad was and it was a city as well. But his dad had chosen Littleroot "because it was quiet". Quiet but dull, Brendan thought.

Brendan was 13 and dressed in the new attire his dad had given him. He had black hair styled decently but he hid it under a cap with a green headband complete with white Pokeball and a large white...thing on top. He chose it because it was large and might cover it up. "It" was a large scar on Brendan's forehead where he had fallen off a Stantler and he kept it hidden. He wore an orange-and-black vest with no sleeves, orange gloves with black-and-green wristbands, grey knee shorts but had the legs covered by grey pants underneath and white-and-green sneakers. By one of the large boxes was his green backpack but that was empty.

He had company, however. His two Pokemon were by his sides literally; Silver, a calm Aron he had decked out with several TM's and Aura, a shy but gentle Ralts. This was the upside of moving to Littleroot. Then came another upside.

"WHOA!" Brendan called out. The truck had hit a ditch and the van had turned on it's side. "Aura, hold those boxes steady!" The red eyes under Aura's alien helmet glowed blue as the falling boxes stopped in a blue aura. She kept them hovering while her master angrily grumbled.

"Vigoroth can't drive, I tell him. They'll break something, I tell him. Oh no, they'll be fine, says dad." Brendan had this habit of complaining. Perhaps it was from his mum.

"Honey, are you OK?" Speak of the devil, she had spoken. "Don't worry, I'll get the Vigoroths to push the truck back!"

"Don't bother!" Brendan called, picking up Aura and leaning back on what had been the right wall. "Silver, push!" The Aron obeyed and charged at the left wall. The speed of the Iron Armor Pokemon's charge pushed the truck upwards but Aura kept her focus on the crates. Thankfully, the feeling Pokemon ddin't drop one. She lowered them down and Brendan put her down. The back of the truck opened and the three passengers got out, Brendan's backpack slung over it's owner's shoulder.

"Well, here we are Brendan!" His mum said cheerfully. No-one can be as cheerful as she. "Pokemon movers are so convenient! They didn't break a single thing!"

"Yeah, of course they didn't." Brendan said sarcastically. He glared at the Vigoroths now unloading the goods. "If Aura hadn't caught them, your silverware would have been in shards."

"Isn't Littleroot a nice place to live?" Mrs. Knight continued, oblivious to her son. "So quiet. You even have your own room Brendan! Come on, let's go inside!" She walked in with Brendan, Silver and Aura. Brendan's first opinion of the house was that it was typically suburban: fridge, TV in living room, kitchen, the whole shebang. The Vigoroths were setting everything out, now actually being careful.

"Your father bought you a new clock so better go set it!" Was this all just to get her son out of the way?

"Wait, what are you gonna-" Too late. The Vigoroths were ushering him. "OK, Ok! I'm going!" The Wild Monkey Pokemon backed off. "Yeesh!" The room was designed in a simple way: bed on the right, TV and silver GameCube with Charizard GBA SP connected, clock on the bed, and a large red rug. The clock was a blue Pokeball with 1-12 in the right places and an AM/PM bar underneath the hands.

"Let's see, there's a three hour difference between Johto and Hoenn and the time in Johto is..." He checked a watch that was like an old-fashioned timepiece except it was designed like a Pokeball. "...12:14, so it's 15:14 over here." He spun a little dial at the back until- wait, how was he going to know?

"Um, guys?" Silver and Aura looked up. At last they could be used for something. "Am I at 3:15 pm yet?"

"Ar-on! Ar-ar-on!" Silver said. That would mean something like Yes.

"Um, Silver's tricking you again, Brendan." Aura said in her gentle voice. This was telepathy and it made conversation a lot easier. "I'll tell you when you're on the right section."

"Now?"

"Little more."

"Now?"

"Perfect." Brendan set it up on a little nail inbedded in the wall. Now things looked good. Everything was where it should-huh? There was a little sticky note by Brendan's computer. He recognised his Dad's handwriting. It always looked rushed but you could still read it.

Brendan,
Look inside of the computer. There's a surprise in there. Mom's got one as well but only after you see Professor Birch.
Love, Dad

Brendan turned on the PC and noticed something he hadn't seen before. Item Storage. Maybe that would explain a large machine linked to the PC that had a large opening like it could be used in a Pokemon Center to teleport Pokemon. He clicked on the folder icon. Inside this folder was a little Potion icon. Click.
"Contains (1) Potion(s). Take out from PC?" Yes. A flash of light drew Brendan from the monitor and over to the weird machine. When it subsided, a single Potion stood there.

Now Brendan understood what all of the equipment was for. There was an Item Storage fridge in the garage where items could be sent via teleporter. This was linked to the PC's teleporter and at the click of the mouse items could be transported. He took it out and put it in his backpack in what he had dubbed the Items Section.

"BRENDAN!" His mum screamed. The sound made Brendan jump. Since when had Mom screamed so loud? "BRENDAN! COME QUICK! DAD'S ON TV!!" At this, Brendan rocketed downstairs, Silver trotting along, Aura teleporting down faster. However, the Feeling Pokemon had gone right in front of the stairs and Brendan had to freeze abruptly on the bottom stair. Silver didn't stop running and collided right into Brendan's back.

"Ow!" You'd do that if an Aron collided with you. Aura squealed and shuffled out of the way just as trainer and Pokemon hit the floor.

"Are you Ok, hon?" Mrs. Knight asked hurriedly, helping up her son from the floor.

"I'm *ow* fine." Brendan groaned. "Just *ow* let me *ow* get to the *ow* TV." Brendan got up weakly just to see a Cacnea, Dustox and Ninjask all piled up on one another. Courtesy of Dad's Pokemon. The man himself was standing proudly by them.

Norman Knight was tall and strong, though he was quite thin so it was hard to tell. His black hair was in a crew cut and he wore his favourite outfit: red jumper, blue denim jeans, suave black shoes.

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, was from Petalburg Gym!" The image changed. Apparantly the whole broadcast was to show off the new Gym Leader's skills.

"Oh, too bad. You just missed him." Mrs. Knight said sadly.

"Don't worry," Brendan said brightly. "At least I saw him on TV." Big announcement coming up. Why else would she drag Brendan downstairs when he had a TV upstairs?

"Now, our neighbours, the Birches, are next door. I understand they have a daughter your age." D-daughter? Brendan's history with the ladies wasn't very good. Not very good at all. "You should go over and introduce yourself." Another excuse to get out. Maybe he could show off his Pokemon as well.
______________________________

Brendan, Silver and Aura were walking across the streets to the Birches' house. A daughter around his age. He had followed the steps over and over again. Don't fidget. Keep calm. Don't stutter your words. But these would all be harder to do than it would be to read them. Brendan knocked on the door.

"Just a minute!" Ugh, waiting. What was there to wait about? The door opened. A smiling woman with brown hair and an apron answered the door. Fresh off the "Suburban Mother" range.

"Hello, I assume you're Brendan Knight?"

"Yes, ma'am. This is my Aron, Silver and my Ralts, Aura." Both Pokemon smiled at Mrs. Birch.

"Well, come on in." Inside was a lot similar to Brendan's home except the dining room table was bare and the kitchen was stacked with dirty dishes. "I'm in the middle of washing up so those won't last long." She added. "May's upstairs, I think." May. Brendan's new neighbour. Wonder what she was like. Up the stairs he and his Pokemon went.

A door on the right said "May's Room" in flowery stencil. He was about to knock, but people in Johto never knocked so he just went in. The room was a lot similar to his own except the GameCube was blue and the GBA was a Pikachu edition. The clock had a pink Pokeball instead of a blue but other than that everything was the same. A single Pokeball was in the room. Wonder what was inside?

"Hey!" Brendan turned around at the Pokeball's owner, a Swablu perched on her shoulder. Her slender frame was dressed in an orange sleeveless vest with white Pokeballs at the hem, a black skirt, sneakers, brown hair in a wing-like design and a green bandanna with a white Pokeball imprint. "What are you doing here?"

"Um, well," Come on Knight, say something. Something SENSIBLE. "I-I was supposed to come over and um,"

"Introduce yourself?"

"Yes!" Exclaimed Brendan, a little too quickly. "Well, I'm Brendan, I just moved to Littleroot."

"Oh yes, your move was today." She seemed to have trouble looking directly at Brendan. "Um, I'm May. Nice to meet you."

"Ditto. Um, is that a Swablu?" Conversation. Very awkward with Brendan.

"Oh yeah! This is Sky. She's for my career."

"And that is?"

"Uh-uh, that would be telling. Anyway, I've got to do some research. Dad's orders. See ya around Brendan!" Immediately, she went to her computer, Sky flying on to her perch.

"Oookay." At that, Brendan went downstairs. She hadn't even noticed Silver and Aura. "Guys, return." The miniaturisation ray built into the Pokeballs recalled Brendan's companions. He then left the house. Only thing left was to see the Prof himself. Coming to May's house, he noticed a large metal structure that didn't blend in to Littleroot's image. That was probably the lab. And his next destination.
______________________________

If Brendan chose to go onto Route 101 instead, he would have met Professor Birch himself. He was tall and muscle-bound but he hid it under a lab coat and t-shirt. He wore shorts and sandals. He had a short brown beard on his chin. He became a Pokemon Professor when he was young and his teachers described him as a prodigy. But Birch was never one to sit and read. He would sit and read, then explore what he had read outside. Today he was studying a Wurmple.

"Subject appears to not eat as much food as previous subject." Birch noted. He was speaking into a little tape recorder to note things down. "Has eaten only a few times in comparison to previous subject who ate very frequently. Huh?" The last word hadn't been recorded into the tape, thankfully. The Wurmple was now spinning thread around itself but after a few minutes instead of forming a white shell a purple shell was formed and the red eyes were more narrowed.

"Interersting." He was again speaking into the tape recorder. "The subject has turned into a Cascoon instead of a Silcoon. Could eating alter the way a Wurmple evolves?" Still pondering the question, he threw a Pokeball at the Cascoon and it was caught without effort. "I'll study this Cascoon in the lab." He picked up the Pokeball and walked away. He hadn't gone a few steps before he heard a growl. A deep growl.

"Hmm, strange." Birch continued walking, albeit a little quicker. The growls increased and he walked quicker. The growls grew louder and Birch broke into a run. He hadn't seen it. He hadn't seen the Mightyena.
____________________________

Prior to this, Brendan was still walking towards the lab. His shoes were getting tired and he knew he needed replacements quick. But he had no time to do so and though his parents promised he saw no change. At last the lab stood ahead. He went through the doors and looked around. Everything had been cleaned to the finest extent and there were strange machines around but no Professor Birch. He knew what he looked like because his Dad had described him to Brendan so he needed directions.

"Um, excuse me," He had asked a particluarly bookish man who could be an assistant to the Professor. "Do you know where Professor Birch is?"

"Oh, Professor Birch is doing fieldwork on Route 101. He's not the kind to sit around and read. He'd rather experience things up close."

Route 101. The only way out of Littleroot. Another destination for Brendiana Jones. Latios, why couldn't things be simple? Littleroot was SUPPOSED to be simple after all.

"Ahhh!" Oh great. Another complication. But it was coming from Route 101. What if the Professor was there? Brendan ran towards Route 101, almost knocking down a small girl who was looking out fearfully. There was Birch chased by a large doglike Pokemon, it's midnight-black fur rustling in the wind. "You there! Please help me!"

"Why else would I be here?" But he still pulled out a Pokeball. Silver could take whatever hits this dog could dish out.

"Silver, come on out!" In a flash of light, the Aron appeared, eyeing up his opponent. "Metal Claw!" Silver's claws glowed and he charged forward, slashing the dog across the face. The Mightyena lunged at the little Aron, it's fangs bared.

"Iron Defense!" Silver curled his head and legs under his body just in time; the Mightyena bit only on hard metal. It howled in pain as the fangs had deep cracks in them. Birch was still in the corner, thunderstruck by what he'd seen. Already this boy was quite experienced and knew how to handle his Pokemon.

"OK Silver, end this with Water Pulse!"

"Water Pulse?!" Birch cried in amazement. "How could an Aron know Water Pulse so early?"

"I gave it a TM before I came to Littleroot." Brendan explained. Silver's mouth opened and blue electricity crackled inside it. The Mightyena let out a howl. Why? Did it mean it was close to defeat? The electricity gradually turned into a blue orb that expanded until it was around the size of Silver's head. He fired it at the Bite Pokemon, unleashing a series of waves. It soaked the Mightyena-and Birch had he not moved out of the way- but it wasn't down.

"Huh?" Brendan said blandly. "That Water Pulse should have finished it off for sure." Another Mightyena charged down. Brendan now understood. Water Pulse had taken too long to charge and in that time the lone Mightyena had called in reinforcements.

"Ok, Silver, use-" But before his trainer could give a command, one of the Mightyena had slammed into Silver. Next, the second Mightyena pinned him down by the throat.

"There are two Pokeballs in my bag!" Birch called. "Use one!"

"But I can-"

"I don't deny that your Aron is strong," Birch interrupted, "But it can't win on it's own! Choose any one!" Brendan bent down into Birch's bag and felt around. The cold structure of a Pokeball greeted his fingers and just in time; one of the Mightyena, the one that hadn't pinned down Silver had got wind of him and charged.

"AAH!" Brendan screamed, "Go, whoever you are!" He threw the Pokeball and out of it came...

"Tor-chic!" A small, red chick Pokemon emerged from the Pokeball, jumping once then landing perfectly in front of the stunned dog. But taking the little chick as an annoyance rather than a threat, it charged forward again.

"Dodge it!" Torchic jumped out of the way before the Mightyena had even come close. It then ruffled it's feathers. It was ready to fight. "Professor, quick! Give me some of it's attacks!"

"Torchic's best move at this point would be..." He paused, trying to remember. "Scratch!"

"OK! Torchic, Scratch attack!" Torchic ran at the Mightyena, quick as a blade and clawed it across the face. It snapped at Torchic but it had jumped again.

"Scratch again!" Another claw. The Mightyena's paw leapt off Silver's neck, giving the Aron a chance to get away. It stood next to Torchic, reared up, ready to attack.

"Torchic, Scratch once more! Silver, Headbutt!" Torchic scored the final hit on the first Mightyena, who fainted due to the hits it had taken from Silver. The titular Pokemon charged forward, head first at the Mightyena. Tired out, the Bite Pokemon collapsed. Birch made his move.

"Pokeball, go!" His Pokeballs caught the Mightyena, no effort put up due to tiredness. "Phew, that was close. Thank you. And you are?"

"I'm Brendan Knight sir, I just moved in."

"Ah yes, Norman said you would come. Just didn't imagine meeting like this!" He let out a short laugh. "Anyway, come back to my lab."
____________________________

"OK, I know about your Aron, Brendan." They were now back at Birch's lab, Silver and Torchic back in their Pokeballs and in the healing machine. "But Norman mentioned you had a second."

"That would be Aura. She's my Ralts, sir." It felt weird, calling the Prof something formal like "sir" when he was very informal.

"Oh yes, now I remember. Anyway, your supposed to be going on a journey. My guess is that it's the Hoenn League."

"Yes Professor."

"Then in that case," He held out Torchic's Pokeball. "I want you to have this Torchic. You two fought well together, plus trainers can only recieve their licence and registration with one of the starters."

"Cool!" Brendan said. He noticed in the battle that Torchic was fast and struck hard. It'd be useful to have it on his team. "I got a Torchic!"

"Don't forget Silver as well." Birch added, giving Silver's Pokeball. "Now, as I'm sure you know, communication between trainer and Pokemon is extremely important. So I'd like to give you this." He held out in his hand what looked like an iPod. It's body was painted red and the wheel was designed like, surprise, surprise, a Pokeball with a red top and a blue bottom. The off switch was in the centre of the Pokeball wheel and there were a pair of headphones. These weren't the tiny ones that went in the ear lobe. These were quite large and had straps that went around the ears.

"What's this, Professor?" Brendan asked.

"It's a Pokemon Communicator, or PokeCom for short. It's from the Devon Corporation in Rustboro City. Bascially the headphones allow you to understand what your Pokemon are saying and still enable you to hear other sounds."

"Double cool!" Brendan exclaimed, taking the PokeCom from Birch's hand.

"My kid May has one as well. Now that I mention it, she's on Route 103 doing research. That's north from Oldale Town. Why don't the two of you meet up there?"

"Sounds OK, I guess." Brendan shrugged. "Thanks once again Professor." Shaking the Professor's hand once more, he left the lab. So far things looked good. He had a new Pokemon on his team and he could understand them as well. Things should get interesting.
__________________________

OK, R&R. Oh, first of all, no SPAM's like "Great fic!" or "Excellent! 10/10!" Pick out what you liked, flaws in this story and improvement points. Bye!
 
Last edited:
R

~*Ratiosu*~

Guest
It was very good. I spotted no typos, no grammar errors, etc.

WAIT! I BLESS YOU, MIGHTY JACK OF BLADES! YOU USED LATIOS IN A FIC! *pets* Good...

*does the up and down dance from Sonic Heroes*

You're getting a 5-star. You're also getting suggested to Timid Kyogre for her Interview with the Authors.
 

The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
I'll tell Timid Kyogre I can do the interview. And only after one story!

This may be similar to Tempest's fic, A Hoenn Adventure, where Brendan gets a Torchic as his starter. For the other readers, the original plan was for Brendan to get a Treecko, because I planned a fanfiction with a Sceptile named Blade. One of the major scenes was a raid on a Pokemon Center by Team Magma and Blade and Brendan narrowly escape by Blade climbing in the wall with Brendan on his back unconscious.

But I scrapped the idea because I just LOVE prophecies in stories and I liked the manga's "3 Children Of Hoenn" idea. The Ruby Of Hoenn, in the prophecy, would choose the fire starter (Torchic). The Sapphire Of Hoenn would choose the water starter. And the Emerald Of Hoenn (there's a fanfic on FF.net that is excellent, and features someone called the Legend Of Hoenn) would choose the grass starter. So I altered the chapter to give Brendan the Torchic, as he will be the Ruby.

Interesting fact: I wrote this entirely from scratch at the "Post New Thread" option. I didn't make any typos or grammatical errors simply because I can see them instantly.
 

The Great Butler

Hush, keep it down
Nifty little story if I do say so myself. You kept true to the original form of the R/S opening act, yet made the little tweaks that made it even better.

As for certain parts, I liked the whole routine with the truck and Ralts' complaning as it held the boxes up, plus the Vigoroth's sloppy driving. Brendan's oblivious mother was a hoot, too.

Poochyena always struck me as kind of small and weak to be chasing a large man like Birch around, so the switch to Mightyena was a good choice.

I have felt that Brendan got shafted in the anime (his only appearance was about three seconds in the opening of Jirachi Wish Maker) so this is a nice way of making up for it.

Color me satisfied, and waiting for more.
 

The Benmeister

Master of Magnet
Well, despite an overused plot, I like this story as I always like to see what variations people have of the main storyline of the games. Good grammar and spelling also, saw nothing wrong there.

Meh, I never say much in response to a good fic, and I always tell people to keep up the good work. So, I will be doing the same here. Keep up the good work!
 

Demise

...An orange blob...
His shoes were getting tired and he knew he needed replacements quick

Erm, Shoes get tired???

Jack of Blades, your description is all choppy and too easy to understand. Plus, the fact that Brendan thoughts aren't in intalic or a single quotation mark. The way you put this story seems to me is in your point of view and Brendan's.

For example:
D-daughter? Brendan's history with the ladies wasn't very good. Not very good at all.

Isn't that suppose to be in his thoughts?

"Vigoroth can't drive, I tell him. They'll break something, I tell him. Oh no, they'll be fine, says dad," Brendan had this habit of complaining.

Remember, always put a comma in place of a period, if you're going to continue the setence such as:
"I have a pokemon, too," she said sarcastically."

If it is anything else, it is okay. You can put periods if you aren't going to label who's speaking, such as:

"I have a pokemon, too."

Too late.
Speak of the devil
Conversation. Very awkward with Brendan
If you are going to put these in your fic, at least make it a proper sentence.

But he still pulled out a Pokeball
I don't think you need to capitalize the pokeball. It is a common thing after all. Unless you nickname it...though it would be weird...

May. Brendan's new neighbour. Wonder what she was like.
It should be: "May, Brendan's new neighbor, wonder what she was like."
You know, that you can connect these sentences to make a proper one, instead of a one-liner.

I think you can change the "was" into an "is."

"Uh-uh, that would be telling. Anyway, I've got to do some research, it is dad's orders. See ya around ,Brendan!"

You can change it like that >>

A daughter around his age, he had followed the steps over and over again; don't fidget, keep calm, don't stutter your words

You can write down the steps by put in a semi-colon. That means your listing things, like cause and effect.

The story so far is good, I appreciate that you followed the manga instead of game. And it is creative to fuse both of them together. I'd be qualified as a reviewer if you'd like.

I expect some very interesting twists in the plot, that is very different from the manga/anime. I really like to see that! ^_^

See you later! -;197;
 

The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
Yes, the plot is overused so much it's nearly dead. But I want to include the features of Emerald; those good features.

darcstars: When I meant tired, I meant as in falling apart or really old. And as for the May line, thanks for the suggestion. I can't really describe the type of line, but here's an example:

Jack Of Blades said:
Route 101. The only way out of Littleroot. Another destination for Brendiana Jones.

That's the type of line I tend to use. I really should stop.
Brendan and May aren't restricted to Hoenn Pokemon, if you know what I mean...
 
Last edited:

Demise

...An orange blob...
Hmm, then you should have put that his soes were getting worn out, so people won't get confused.

One-liners are okay if you put it in there once in awhile. But too much can be a bit tiring, so try prevent using one-liners.

Oh yes, I'm a bit hard to satisfy, but if you make one good heck of a story, maybe I might be fully satisfied. I'l keep an eye out for this fic.

Later-;197;
 

The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
darcstars: Yes, you're VERY hard to please.
It wasn't Ralts complaining, it was Brendan. She has a similar trait to me, and that she's usually too shy to speak out.

OK, I'm cutting this chapter into two parts partly because this is the second version and now it's longer. The next part will follow shortly.
_________________

Chapter 2: Keeping Up With The Birches

"OK Torchic, welcome to the Knight team!" Brendan had decided to introduce Torchic to Silver and Aura. Silver had trotted forward proudly, determined to show off his mirror-like body. Aura, however, gave a shy little wave; she wasn't the type to make a deal out of a greeting.

"Tor-chic!" Torchic chirped. "Tor-chic-tor-tor!"

"Um, OK," Brendan had yet to work out how the hell to use the PokeCom. He hadn't obtained the manual. "Listen, why don't the three of you play together? I need time to work this thing out." While the three played, Brendan tried to work out how the device worked.

"Let's see, the on/off button is in the middle," He pressed it and the Devon Corp. logo appeared on the screen. Then the menu appeared. "Translate Speech? Well, duh!" He pressed a button to the left; Select. An instruction appeared:

MOVE WHEEL TO THE RIGHT FREQUENCY​

Brendan turned the wheel and ponited it at Silver.

"Ar-aron! Ar-on-ro-"

<"So that makes you it, Torchic!">

"Why not Aura then Silver?" Brendan asked slyly.

<"Because, Brendan, then she'll use-huh?! Did you understand what I just said?">

"Yeah, it's this...thing." Brendan looked around. The batteries were screwed in so it would be charged like a cellphone. Other than that, he couldn't see anything that explained how...

<"Um, Brendan?"> Aura asked.

"Yeah, Aura?"

<"Well, aren't you supposed to meet Professor Birch's daughter?">

"Um, yeah," Brendan said, surprised. "Did you read my mind?"

<"No, just common knowledge,>" Aura said shortly. <"And you've yet to give Torchic a nickname.">

"Yes thank you Miss Know-Too-Much," Brendan said brusquely. He hadn't used that tone for a while now; only when things got frustrating or if he was really and I mean really, um, ticked off (no bad language here!). "I'm about to do it now."

Now dropping his harsh attitude, he looked at the little Torchic, who cocked his head in curiosity.

Hmm, let's see, Brendan thought, He's a chick Pokemon, so how about Rooster? No. Um, Blaze? No, that's overused. He kinda reminds me of Ho-Oh so... He now bent down to the Chick Pokemon's eye level.

"How about Phoenix? You kind of look like a little, weird kind of baby Moltres, if it was a baby, of course."

<"Am I supposed to feel insulted by that?"> Phoenix asked.

"Um, no," Brendan replied shortly, "Depends if you find it insulting." Did he?

<"No way!"> Phoenix chirped happily, <"At least I have a nickname any way!">

"OK then," Brendan said brightly, "Well, we'll do some training and then take a rest at Oldale Town. Oh and Silver?" he now turned an eye toward the Aron like a suffering teacher would look at his worst student.

<"Yes, master?"> Silver said nervously.

"Since when have you ever called me "master"?"

<"Since when have you and I ever been able to communicate without using Aura?"> Silver pointed out.

"Never mind," Brendan sighed, "But I will not rest until you can pull of Water Pulse in seven seconds or less."

<"Why seven?"> Silver wondered, unaware that Brendan was listening.

"This thing's still on, you know!" Brendan said loudly. "Because that's the maximum amount of time Water Pulse has to take to charge and fire."

<"All at once?"> Silver said in disbelief.

"Yes, that's why that Mightyena beat you, you took too long." Brendan scolded mildly.

<"And if he hadn't,"> Phoenix piped up, <" You wouldn't have met a certain little Torchic.">

"Aura, stop influencing him!" Brendan called to his Ralts. "He's young, he'll be corrupted!"

Like you won't anyway, Aura thought sarcastically. Though she was quite timid and loving, almost like a mother, she had a devilish side to her.

"I heard that!" Brendan snapped. Oh yeah Knight, real smooth, came a sarcastic voice in the back of his head. Brendan hated when this happened. You know as well I do about Aura's other side, but that's a lot like our relationsh-

"Shut up!" Brendan hissed to nowhere, hitting the side of his head with his palm, trying to block out the demon. Meanwhile, while Young Master Knight battled with his thoughts, his three teammates looked on, confused.

<"Um, Aura,"> Phoenix asked the Ralts, <"What's up with Brendan?">

<"Oh, he's...um.."> Aura began; but then something clicked in the back of her complex mind.
___________________

Months ago, this demon in Brendan's mind erupted out of sheer frustration. It was about a piece of homework he had given to his teacher at Violet Junior High. This teacher, Mrs. Wilker, had lost her sense of humour at least twenty years ago and was easily the most hated in the school. If anyone didn't, they had to be blind AND deaf. She didn't particluarly like Brendan either, even though he had never put a foot wrong. Maybe she envied his father, because he was a Gym Leader-to-be.

Anyway, one day in the last semester of the school year, she had set a one-hundred-and-fifty word essay titled "Effective Attack Combinations In Battle". Anything she dubbed "unsatisfactory" would get a detention to redo it. Brendan had done everything in that essay to the best of his ability. he had spent all his spare time in his room, working on it. He and Aura (her being the smart one) would always be in the local library researching. The website www.pokemonleague.com/beginners/battling/combos was swept to the last gigabyte. And of course, Brendan's father helped out; he had used attack combinations to ace the Gym Leader exam.

But a week after it was handed in the homework was now decorated at the last page with the following comment in angry red ink:

This is terrible work Brendan, I will not accept this. 3/10 + detention.

Upon hearing this, Brendan's father went out of his way to get Brendan out of the detention. The work had all of his son's effort in it and he knew it was excellent; but Wilker was just a bad teacher. It turned out she was jealous of Norman as they both competed to get into the Gym Leader Academy but Norman always beat her and her Banette. She held a grudge against him and took out her anger on his son. Norman naturally put two and two together and when the head of the school found out about this, Wilker was thrown out (there was many a celebration).

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

When he got the essay back, Brendan had grown angry at Wilker, more angry than he'd ever been. The following rant has been toned down for lighter-themed reading.

Evil old hag! Can't recognise an essay no matter how damn good it is! Oh, I'll get her one day! Of course, the one who was saying this was the mental demon. While it was ranting, Aura had been shuffling along the corridor and caught this revenge fantasy. She had caught something else, as well.

There exist some Psychic-types with a rare gift: Mind Insight. This basically means they can actually get a clear view inside the mind; all the colours, all the memories: they basically get a pay-per-view of it, without having to pay.

And it was intriguing to see where this demon resided. When Aura saw what colour of the place this thing lurked in, she stifled a laugh. Brendan, however, had heard this and had Aura make a promise: she wouldn't tell anyone about the colour of the place. She had agreed, and it was this promise that stopped her from spilling.

_________

Meanwhile, back to the present...

<"Well, Aura,"> Phoenix continued, <"What is it?"> Aura paused for a moment, before...

<"SorryphoenixIcan'ttellyou!"> She blurted out, adding a new word to the English dictionary.

<"Aww,"> Phoenix moaned, in that cute voice that's just...just...tooth-rotting, <"I twawt you'd tell me because we're best fwiends."> The Torchic now clawed the ground innocently.

<"I can't tell you,"> Aura continued, now blushing so her pale face matched the colour of her eyes, <"Brendan made me promise and- Don't do that!"> Phoenix now played his trump card: the puppy-dog eyes. Aura couldn't say, no matter how cute this guy tried to look. <"I made a promise! I won't tell you!">

<"I will!"> Silver piped up eagerly. Now that he was going to get what he wanted, Phoenix stopped trying to be cute as though a switch had been thrown, now listening in eagerly. <"He's in the pink place inside his mind again."> Three seconds went by. That was enough for Phoenix. He burst out laughing so hard, his kness buckled and he rolled around on the floor, laughing. The Aron joined in, now hitting the ground with this front foot. Even Aura tried hard not to laugh.

<"Pink?!"> Phoenix laughed, <"Pink!?">

<"Ha ha ha, I know,"> Silver choked; now he and Phoenix said in exaggerated German accents, <"Vhat a girl!">

"Sorry, am I missing the punchline here?" Came an angry voice. Both Pokemon stopped laughing and looked at their trainer in horror. They were right to; there was unconcealable fury on Brendan's face. He wasn't even trying to hold it in. A few seconds passed. Then...

<"SILVER DID IT!!!"> Phoenix and Aura screamed. Following that, Aura teleported away and Phoenix ran as fast as he could. This left the Iron Armor Pokemon alone, now having to deal with an angry Brendan.

"Silver, why did you- Wait. How did you know about it in the first place?"

<"Aura told me!"> Silver trembled; he had found a scapegoat.

"Aura!" Brendan barked, now turning to where the Feeling Pokemon had gone.

<"Silver forced it out of me!"> Aura confessed, <"He sat on me and stopped me from using Confusion! He wouldn't get off until I told!"> The scapegoat had left the pen.

<"Can't you take a...joke?"> Silver tried nervously. He waited for the axe to fall, he was going to be spared no mercy...

"Training. Now." Brendan said acidly. Now scared of his trainer, Silver squeaked,

<"Sir, yes Sir!"> He immediately began a Water Pulse attack, the electricity taking form. Now wanting Brendan to calm down, Aura and Phoenix immediately picked a battle; a Poochyena for Phoenix and a Zigzagoon for Aura...
 
Last edited:

Demise

...An orange blob...
I'm back to review!

Ok, Jack of Blades, this one was more nicely done.

Though I spotted some errors:

recognize

all the colours
colors not colours. Yes, the neopets' way of spelling it is different.

<"No way!"> Phoenix chirped happily, <"At least I have a nickname any way!">
The 'anyway' isn't suppose to be seperated, and it doesn't fit in the sentece, especially with 'at least'.

<"Since when have you and I ever been able to communicate without using Aura?"> Silver pointed out.
It is an answer, I suppose it is suppose to be a comma. It doesn't sound right like that. >>

<"Since when you and I was able to communicate without using Aura,"> Silver pointed out.

This is terrible work, Brendan, I will not accept this. 3/10 + detention.

Okay, I'm too sucked up in teh story to look for grammar problems.

What exactly is the pink place? I am very dense. *nods*

Here's the lines in which I had thought to be funny:

"How about Phoenix? You kind of look like a little, weird kind of baby Moltres, if it was a baby, of course."

<"Am I supposed to feel insulted by that?"> Phoenix asked.

<"Yes, master?"> Silver said nervously.

"Since when have you ever called me "master"?"

<"Since when have you and I ever been able to communicate without using Aura?"> Silver pointed out.

"Never mind," Brendan sighed, "But I will not rest until you can pull of Water Pulse in seven seconds or less."

<"Why seven?"> Silver wondered, unaware that Brendan was listening.

"This thing's still on, you know!" Brendan said loudly. "Because that's the maximum amount of time Water Pulse has to take to charge and fire."

"Sorry, am I missing the punchline here?" Came an angry voice. Both Pokemon stopped laughing and looked at their trainer in horror. They were right to; there was unconcealable fury on Brendan's face. He wasn't even trying to hold it in. A few seconds passed. Then...

<"SILVER DID IT!!!"> Phoenix and Aura screamed.

I don't know why, but I like angry trainers and scared pokemon. Or the other way around. ^_^

It wasn't Ralts complaining, it was Brendan. She has a similar trait to me, and that she's usually too shy to speak out.
Did I say something? O_O

Okay, this is a really good chapter, hardly any mistakes, though color is spelled wrong numerous of times.

Pm me when you want a review or when teh next chapter is up.

Eevee says: Tasch! ;133;
 

The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
That whole Ralts issue was to answer The Great Butler. And about the whole color/colour thing: I'm from the UK so that's how we spell color.

The pink place thing was something I designed as I imagine that the mind has different colours referring to different places. As Aura can see these colours...yeah.
 

Demise

...An orange blob...
That whole Ralts issue was to answer The Great Butler. And about the whole color/colour thing: I'm from the UK so that's how we spell color.

The pink place thing was something I designed as I imagine that the mind has different colours referring to different places. As Aura can see these colours...yeah.

I know this is off topic but you can put:

The Great Butler: It wasn't Ralts complaining, it was Brendan. She has a similar trait to me, and that she's usually too shy to speak out.

That line was completely under my name. Sorry.

Well then the different spellings are fine, as long I know that you are from UK.

I thought the pink place was sort of like a romance day dream or something, because I thought that was why the pokemon were laughing. *thinks* Now that I think of it, what exactly is the pink place.

Girly side? Romance or whatever?

Eevee says: Tasch!;133;
 
Last edited:
R

ribonucleic

Guest
Nice work Jack of Blades, you have creatively made your own version of the R/S/E game. Keep up the good work.
 

The Pokemon Master

Master Trainer
Greetings! I spotted your fic (both on the actual forums and in The Great Butler's fic) and decided to drop by for a read and review.

Characters/Pokemon

Brendan: Unoriginal name, but very original character. You've already managed to develop him very well (I knew that the demon's place would be pink when I spotted the color reference. I don't know how, but I just knew it! That was a pretty funny part). I like the backstory you gave him, though I do have a question. How did he get an Aron and a Ralts in Johto? If you're following the games, that is...
Aura: This girl's just one that you've got to like. Also, I love the Ralts line (I usually spend the first hour or so after I get past Oldale trying to find and catch one), so I'm glad to see them. Her character is fairly well developed, and I think she's going to end up being the calming factor in their party most of the time.
Silver: An Aron with lots of different moves that it doesn't really know how to use too well, huh? Well, I'm glad it didn't turn out to be uber (I thought it might at first, when you mentioned that it had been given a bunch of TMs already), so you did a good job of controlling that. Otherwise, I like his character, and his attitude is great.
Phoenix: Go new Pokemon! The starters are always a fun part of the fic, and you haven't let this one down. Great character, I loved the begging it did. Can't wait for more of it!
May: We really haven't seen much of her yet, but I get this funny feeling that she'll be a main character (the banner kinda hints at it). From what I saw, she's being portrayed pretty well, and I hope to see more of her soon.
Birch: This guy should use some of the Pokemon he captures from research. I mean come on, if you've got Pokemon, use them! But that's just my personal problem. Yet another great character, and though we probably won't see too much of him, I was glad to see him portrayed so well as of right now (and I don't expect it to change, either).


Plot

So far, so good, though a *little* more originality would be appreciated. Most of the lines are almost directly from R/S/E, so if you could change that it would make it plenty better. Otherwise, though, it's a little early to comment much on plot development, so I'll leave it with this: it's great so far, just add a little bit of originality and it's perfect.


Grammar

No obvious mistakes here, so keep up the good work!


Summary

Great story, and I'm looking forward to it. Just a little bit more originality, please!



I apologize if it seems like I'm criticizing you a little much about the originality. I understand that this is based heavily on the games, but I would like it if you at least gave the characters different lines. Most of it is original, though, especially having three Pokemon to start, and I really do look forward to seeing the next Chapters!


Until we meet again...
;150;
 

The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
He lay deep within the trees, waiting. He ruled this route and no trainer had ever bested him. Well, they were mere rookies. The most dangerous threat had been a Taillow and if he wasn't careful that Taillow could have taken him out with a few Pecks.

But he was careful. Even though he was easily the strongest, he never got overconfident and arrogant. The Taillow was tiny and the trainer was young and inexperienced. But he had two types and they were both weak against Flying-types. Still, it didn't come close and he had beaten it easily. This was his place and no-one dared intrude. He could not be beaten.

"Hmm, let's see. It should be round here somewhere..." Ah, at last. Another victim had come strolling in, ready for a good beating. He peered through the leaves. The victim was a girl, who had just turned into her teens in an orange garment, black biker shorts and a green bandana, her brown hair in a wing style.

But what was weird was that she wasn't even paying attention. On the contrary, she was playing with a little device. Oh, this is too perfect, The Pokemon thought, a grin crossing it's face. And to make things better, her Pokemon was a small blue fish that had four legs, a fin on it's head, orange...things on it's cheeks and a tail. It looked cute. It was a Mudkip. Even more perfect. At this rate, it's best attack would be Water Gun and that would barely leave a mark.

Then he remembered. There were rumors going around about a young girl and her Mudkip and Swablu, going around capturing Pokemon for someone. The Pokemon were concealed in these little spheres; Pokeballs, he heard. Well, he had scanned the area. The Wingulls were the only things that had taken off. He could beat her but he just had to wait. She turned her back and he pounced....Big mistake.

"Blu!!" Something small and blue pecked him just as he turned round to the source, right in the face. And it still kept doing it in a Fury Attack until he hit the ground. This Swablu had taken off ahead of the Wingulls and was waiting for him to pounce before attacking.

"Ah ha! I knew you'd appear sooner or later. Mudkip, Water Gun into Tackle!" The Mud Fish Pokemon let out a cold blast of water that weakened the Pokemon even though it shouldn't have done and then slammed itself into him.

"Great Ball, go!" Great Ball? What the- But his thoughts were stopped. The capture netting that was sucking him was too powerful, he couldn't fight it...Next thing he knew, he was standing on the little glass orb in the middle of the web. He had been shrunk! The blue top of the Great Ball was see-through and he could see the cheerful face of the girl.

"You're mine, Breloom!" But it didn't stop there. White light suddenly filled his vision once more and he vanished in the Great Ball...

____________

"5...6...7-ooh, so close!"

<"How close was it this time?">

"7 and three-quarters. You're getting there though and that's good." After battling with Phoenix and Aura, Brendan now focused on Water Pulse. He HAD to get the timing right; it was the strongest attack in about a five-mile radius and the Trainers who dared to mess with him would fall like flies.

"I don't understand," Brendan muttered, "Dad said this was top-range; he said it came fresh from Sootopolis Gym!"

<"Um, Brendan, about that,"> Silver said nervously, <"See, when you're taking a TM from Sootopolis, it's bound to get bashed around. And when you gave me that TM, well,"> He prepared himself, waiting for the B-Bomb to detonate, <"I noticed that it had some scratches on it."> He said this in a fast voice. Brendan didn't understand.

"And?"

<"Well, from what I know, scratches tend to mess things up,"> Silver continued, now thankful he hadn't set off the bomb, <"In this case, it implants the knowledge into the brain, it just...just doesn't tell it to do certain things; like here, it doesn't tell me to quicken the pace of Water Pulse."> He paused. <"There, I said it!">

"But why didn't you tell me?" Brendan asked. It didn't make sense. The TM had come in a case a lot like a CD. It even had a plastic wrapper around itself so it wouldn't get scratched. So how could it have...Oh.

There was a hole in the packaging. It wasn't quite big, about the size of his pinky's fingerprint. But it was enough. And he hadn't noticed it. Why? Excitement? Most probably.

Both trainer and Aron now just stood there. Phoenix and Aura had to break this, somehow.

<"Do you want to or should I?"> Said one.

<"No, you do it, you're the most dramatic."> Said the other. Straight after that, one of the two got on it's knees and crawled weakly on the grass, moaning in pain, getting Brendan and Silver's attention. It got up, made one last gasp...and played dead.

<"Oh goodness,"> Phoenix said in the typical "Really-Awful-But-With-A-Big Enough-Ego-To-Not-Notice-Actor" voice, <"Aura is too tired to battle. Wherever shall we go to get her rested again?"> It was too pronounced, really like the "RABWABEETNNA" voice. Brendan frowned.

"You could've just said, rather than do a performance that makes Count Olaf look like an Arcanine Award winner," He said impatiently. Knowing instinctly that Phoenix would try and back up his "performance", he held out three Pokeballs and said, "OK guys, return." The rays shot out turning all three around three times smaller and back into their homes. He looked at them through the transparent top, all of their faces grinning. At last they could rest again.
____________

Oldale Town greeted Brendan like a long-lost friend he had known in kindergarten. A small thriving community had formed here around four hundred years ago and had named it Oldale after the hills that had appeared on the old map they had acquired. Everything was very quaint about it, but at the same time modern.

What am I? An estate agent? What Brendan really cared about was the Pokemon Center; he only needed one performance from Phoenix to know that Chicken Little would never perform on stage. Anyway, they had trained very hard and they needed to relax.

But Silver? Now knowing that the Water Pulse TM had been scratched, it was now clear why Silver took so long in charging. But Silver HAD to get it right. He just had to. Ignoring a young bespectacled man (whose face was so ridden with pimples they could have been fired out of a machine gun) who was trying to haggle him about the Pokemart, ("Yes, I know Pokemarts have blue roofs, damnit!") Brendan walked through the automatic doors of the Pokemon Center.

Ever-present behind the counter was Nurse Joy in usual attire; pink shirt, white apron and a nurse's cap with a hazel cross.

"Can I be of service?" Joy asked, her ususal smile on her face.

"Yeah, these guys and this gal need a rest," Brendan said, putting the Pokeballs on the counter. "Oh, and throw in the, uh, massage extra...thing." He finished, rather lamely. But Nurse Joy nodded and gave them to her Chansey, a pink Pokemon with frills on it's head and a white egg in it's pouch.

"Chan-sey!" She cried happily. Placing the Pokeballs in her pouch, Chansey wandered off behind the counter. This gave Brendan around ten minutes to kill. He looked around. He remembered from Dad that everything in a Pokemon Center was free of charge. Looking around, Brendan saw a computer in the corner, a vending machine, a video phone and, he couldn't resist a glance, a Wi-Fi hotspot that was compatible with DS's and PokeNavs...whatever they were. He had heard that they were cellphones of some sort.

Brendan didn't have his DS at the moment; it had gone one day and he had never found it. So instead, he brought a bottle of Diet Coke from the vending machine (he liked regular Coke but not the aftertaste). Then he settlted in one of the blue chairs and pulled out his favourite Ariados-Man comic; the graphic novel called the Cross Saga.

When he was five, he was a big fan of Ariados-Man. The web-slinger wore a red mask and lycra costume with a web design all over it but the gloves and legs were coloured indigo and deep blood-red. The back had the silhouette of an Ariados. And finally the pupils had were deep golden-yellow. Brendan dreamed of being Ariados-Man; spinning webs, running and crawling on walls, being the hero and...having psychic powers.

There were also the villains; The Green Gengar, Doctor Octillery, The Fearow, The Rhyhorn and Cross, who had merged with the DNA of Metagross in an attempt to cure cancer. All you had to do was just let yourself be pulled into the story. Brendan did so, and lasted in this state for about half an hour before...

"CHAN-SEY!" At this overjoyous cry, Brendan nearly fell out of his seat, the Coke jumping out of the bottle like Shamu the Wailord. Upon getting up, Brendan saw that Chansey was holding out his three Pokeballs in it's stubby little arms.

"Um, yeah. Thanks, Chansey." Brendan muttered. After this fleeting moment of praise, Chansey skipped off to behind the counter. Looking at his three Pokemon, Brendan saw they all had dreamy looks on their faces.

<"Oh, I never knew Heal Bell could be so relaxing,"> Phoenix said dreamily.

<"Tell me about it."> Silver responded in the same far-off tune.

"Well, get used to guys," Brendan said, "'Cause right now, it's onward to Route 103!" Whatever the reason for the sudden exclamation mark, the three Pokemon didn't know. But as their trainer left the Pokemon Center they all thought the same thing;

Can't he ever relax?

_______________________

"Well, we're almost-"

<"You said that at least ten times already,"> Phoenix snapped, <"Are we ever gonna be there? I think I got some Lucky Egg on me from Chansey."> Phoenix was now scraping his claw over the floor of his Pokeball.

<"Impossible,"> Silver scoffed, <"The Lucky Egg is considered the Holy Grail of the Pokemon World. There's no way a Chansey could have it here, of all places."> Aura sighed.

<"Don't try and sound smart Silver, it just doesn't gel. The Lucky Egg only really works with Chansey so it's natural for it to have one.">

"Are you guys done yet?" Brendan asked impatiently, "Anyway, we're almost at Route 103 so you can stop complaining."

<"YES!!"> All three Pokemon cheered at this but Brendan ignored them. There was the girl he had searched for, fiddling on a red device the size of a PSP. She didn't seem to know where she was going. She also didn't know that she was about to walk in to Brendan.

<"MT. KNIGHT IS GOING DOWN!"> Silver yelled, <"BRACE YOURSELVES!!!"> Aura rolled her eyes at Silver's over-reaction. Never the less, her eyes glowed blue and the Pokeballs didn't move. Not even when May had now landed on top of Brendan.

"Oh my God!" May hastily got herself off and stepped back a few inches. "I'm so sorry Brendan! I should have watched where I was going!"

"Don't worry, don't worry," Brendan sighed, "Nobody's perfect. What's that gadget you got anyway?"

"Oh, this?" May showed it to him. "It's a Pokedex. A high-tech-"

"Yeah, I've figured that much out," Brendan said sarcastically.

"Can I continue?" May said coldly, "Anyway, it's a high-tech encyclopedia of Pokemon that only goes out to three trainers per region. But it's more than that. It can trade Pokemon, tell you a Pokemon's stats, where they live, locate cries and even gives you their health, moves and levels."

"Levels?"

"A Pokedex takes in a Pokemon's stats and measures them in it's terms. Once it averages them out, it comes up with an estimated level of power! It starts at Lv.2 and goes all the way up to Lv.100." Brendan was now looking at this Pokedex with new eyes. This gadget, this Pokedex; it was high-tech beyond his wildest dreams.

"And there are only three in existence?" Brendan whispered,

"Well, three in existence per region. People will buy a substitute called an iPoke that looks a lot like the current PokeComs. It does the main Pokedex features; level estimation, stats and locations." Brendan now decided he HAD to have it. It would never be on sale. It would tell him about his Pokemon. It had to be his.

Then, an idea came into his mind.

"Tell you what," He began, "Let's have a little battle. If I win, your dad has to give me one of the Pokedexes. If you win, then I'll fork out all my cash to buy a iPoke."

"OK," May said brightly, "You're on Brendan! But don't expect me to go easy on you!" She threw out her two Pokeballs. Out of one came Sky the Swablu, flapping her wings expectantly and landing on the ground. Out of the second came a blue fish...thing with what looked like orange plungers on his cheeks and a fin on his head.

"What the hell is that?" Brendan asked.

<"Oh, just because I have these plunger thingies on my cheeks, I'm suddenly given the Donphan Man treatment!"> The Mudkip huffed indigantly.

"This is my Mudkip. He's not named yet because I don't know what to name him. But he's tougher than he looks."

"Oh yeah?" Brendan said in a cocky manner, "Well he doesn't stand a chance against my team!" He threw all three of the Pokeballs out and Silver, Aura and Phoenix emerged.

<"Aww, do we have to battle now? We just got healed!"> Silver moaned.

"She has a Swablu." Brendan said shortly.

<"Wellllll, I can make an arrangement for a Swablu,"> Silver said, giving off a short laugh. May's smile slipped a couple of notches. She had the disadvantage in terms of numbers. True, Mudkip could take out the Torchic and the moaning Aron but that would leave the Ralts. No doubt Brendan was serious about battling. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? May panicked.

The answer came in the form of a truck. Cutting off Oldale and Route 103 is a long road that winds into Petalburg from Mauville City. Currently driving was a pick-up truck with bars of metal in the back. Silver sniffed expectantly.

<"Mmm, metal,"> Silver muttered.

"Oh no, not now Silver, not now," Brendan cut in. He knew that Arons ate metal for some reason and for some reason the stale scent of metal had always proved attractive to his Aron.

<"I want the metal!"> Silver cried.

"No Silver!" Brendan shouted. The urge to resist was too great.

<"SILVER WANT METAL!!!"> The Aron bellowed. He then charged after the truck; bashing his head into an automobile held up by the red light making it's way across to Mauville; and followed it intently.

<"Silver, wait! Come back!"> Aura cried after him. The Ralts always felt it her duty to look out for Silver, to watch over him...to stop him doing anything stupid. Hovering herself a few inches above the ground (this was easier to do than shuffle) she zipped past the unfortunate automobile tha kept being held out and followed the Aron.

Meanwhile, Sky was looking anxious. She didn't like being left alone during a big event happening and this definitely counted as one of those situations. She hated being left on standby. Nervously hopping forward a few inches, she took off into the air calling; <"Wait up guys!"> Flying over the traffic, she began following the chase.

This left Brendan, May, Phoenix and Mudkip sweatdropping.

"Oookay," Brendan began, "Since Phoenix and Mudkip are the only Pokemon left, let's just use those."

"Good idea." May replied. "Okay Mudkip, this should be an easy win. Ready?" Mudkip trotted forward, now opposite his opponent.

<"Alright Chicken Little, let's dance! You ain't got no chance against da Mudsta!" Mudkip finished this bizarre ritual with a back flip going into standing on two legs and jutting his front right leg out in a punch. Phoenix sweatdropped.

<"Mudkip, what was the point of that weird ritual thingy?">

<"To tell you the truth, I have no idea.">

_______________________

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Aura and Sky were desperately giving chase to Silver who was now chasing the pick-up truck like his very existence depended on it. Aura had swerved through traffic, nearly got run over and was almost the chew toy for a particuarly angry Granbull; other than that there had been no major incidents. It was really halfway into the chase when Aura became aware that Sky was following her.

<"Um, Sky?">

<"Mm-hmm?">

<"Well, why are you following me anyway? This isn't any of your concern."> Sky looked down at the ground for a moment, then decided that there wasn't anything interesting there over than an old piece of gum, and looked up at the Ralts.

<"Well, ah, I don't like to be left out when something big happens. Anyway, I thought you could use a flyer."> Aura smiled. Sky could be used for something. She had concocted a plan and it was a good thing that Sky had decided to come along.

<"OK, you see those houses?"> Sky nodded. These houses had been built on the cheap and the roofs were no acception. They were merely pieces of metal nailed on together and hung for some reason.

<"Well, here's what we do...">

Meanwhile, Silver was running hell for leather, um, armor, after the truck. Sure, there were only a few pieces. Sure, most of them had rust on them. But still, he wouldn't have had that much of a feast since younger days eating fresh iron ore. He jumped onto the back. Sheets and bars with his name on them were asking, nay, BEGGING, to be eaten. He would feast and he would do it happily.

A whistle flew across the air towards him.

<"HEY SILVER!!"> Silver was only just about to leave a big mark in the bar when he turned his head. Hey, that's the wimpy little Swablu I was gonna battle. But WHAT IS SHE HOLDING? It was another sheet of metal. But it was rippled. To Silver, that was little more than a big, silver oversized potato chip. And he needed it.

<"Be right back toots,"> He said to the bar he was about to eat. He backed up to the far end of the back and ran. He kept on running, and running, and running...then he jumped. Speed had picked him up, almost carrying him to the metal. He was so close now, his jaws were coming into contact...

Then nothing. He had stopped moving. But he was so close to it, the smell of it wafting toward him, the kind like from coins. But his eyes could move. And the first thing he did was look down, right at the Ralts now hovering him several feet above where she stood. She smirked.

<"I hope I'm not slowing you down.">

_______________________________

"Go Mudkip! Tackle!"

"Phoenix, Scratch!" Mudkip charged forward, head bowed, attempting to knock the Torchic down. Phoenix would have dodged- but he didn't need to. Instead, he jumped and swung his claw at the Mud Fish Pokemon's face. Mudkip squealed in pain and fell back.

<"I could have used Water Gun, but NOOOOO, I had to use Tackle first. Sometimes, May, I just don't understand you."> The Mudkip apparently liked to argue with his trainer. May gritted her teeth. Against wild Pokemon, she would have a chance. It's because they rely on the first tactic that comes to mind that makes them easy to take down. Here she was facing a trainer that knew what to do in battles and her mind was racing off in directions.

"Um, Ok. Water Gun, Mudkip!" Mudkip fired a jet of water at the Chick Pokemon. It was going to be easy.

"Phoenix, attack it head on with Ember!" Ember?! Is he crazy? But still, he complied, firing off the little fiery bullets with all the flame he had. Instantly, steam kicked up, shrouding the area.

"Take advantage of this, Phoenix!" The Torchic nodded, and zipped around the area, eventually laying a Scratch on the confused little Mudkip.

"Oh no, Mudkip!" May cried to her Pokemon, "Ok, enough playing around. Mudkip, Water Gun with all your might!" Mudkip nodded and fired a more powerful burst of water. Brendan groaned. He couldn't dodge this attack; it was too powerful. But maybe...

"Phoenix, fire your strongest Ember!" Phoenix shot out the embers, now the size of shotgun shells. They repelled the Water Gun but were clearly straining to do so. Still, he couldn't give in. He had to show this weird little fish that types didn't matter. Summoning all the fire in his little belly sac, he let out a loud chirp:

"TOOORRR-CHHHIICCCC!" And the embers overpowered the Water Gun, pushing it back and back into Mudkip's mouth. Mudkip flew backwards, dazed from the attack.

"Ha ha, looks like I get a Pokedex!" Brendan cried in triumph, as Phoenix danced around happily. Stunned, May recalled Mudkip back into his Pokeball. She should have won that. She had the type advantage. But why did everything go wrong? At that moment, Aura and Sky returned triumphantly, the former lifting a disappointed Silver in the air. Recalling all five Pokemon, Brendan and May walked down the road back to the lab.

"So, you going anywhere?" Brendan asked,

"Well," May began, "Dad's putting on me on a journey for a social experiment," She paused. "I think that's right anyway."

"Oh really?" Brendan asked casually. "What's it for?" May gave a puzzled look.

"To tell you the truth, I don't know myself. Dad kept details pretty tight. You'd think it was an operation at Fort Knox or someth-"

"BREEEEE-LLOOOM!" This loud cry halted May and Brendan's talk. May's face blanched.

"Oh no," She muttered. Brendan looked up. A Breloom, tall, green bodied and with a pale face and a mushroom beret on it's head, was charging towards them. What really surprised Brendan was how quick it was moving. It was coming at them like a bullet train. There was no time to move, let alone send out a Pokemon. They were going to collide...

Until it stopped, dead in it's tracks. One minute it was moving, the next it had stopped, as though a switch had been thrown. The Breloom promptly fell down, knocked out from an attack. It had been a Psybeam that had been fired just before it collided with the two trainers. The source had been Professor Birch and a Dustox, a Poison Moth Pokemon with enough toxins in it's wings to make a pro wrestler heave.

"Nice shot Dustox," Birch compliented his Pokemon, who gave a happy little somersault in response. The professor pulled out a Great Ball and shot out the red beam, recalling the troublesome Breloom. He gave an embarassed laugh.

"Heh, sorry about that," he explained, "That Breloom has been a bit hard to pin down. Luckily Dustox and I were able to stop it."

"Where did that Dustox come from anyway, Dad?" May asked.

"Well, May, before I met Brendan, I caught a Cascoon to study the way Wurmple evolved. It evolved into Dustox prior to meeting you two." Birch clapped his hands together. "But, anyway, I'm supposed to give you two something." He pulled out of his field bag a Pokedex and called Dustox to fly back. When he returned, wrapped around him were two packages.

"Brendan, this is your Pokedex. I was going to give it to you after you met May; ("So we didn't need to battle?!" May hissed at Brendan,); you two both get these pairs of Running Shoes; (At this point, Dustox had dropped them on the ground out of fatigue) aaaand... youtwowillbetravellingtogether." He said this last bit at a fast pace but Brendan and May heard.

"WHAT?!" Immediately, an arguement kicked up.

"But she can't even battle right! Her Mudkip was practically doing all the work!"

"He relied on pure luck! That Ember he pulled shouldn't have worked! Plus, he has no control over a stupid Aron!"

<"Hey!"> Silver called from his Pokeball.

"Are you calling me a bad Trainer?!"

"Maybe I am!"

"Blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah blah!" This last part was all that Birch, Phoenix, Mudkip, Silver, Aura and Sky heard. Birch decided to take control; the Mightyena were starting to growl.

"Enough!" He shouted, stopping Brendan and May's heated battle. "I don't care how much you two argue! You are going to travel together! The Pokemon League told me to get you two together! You will leave tomorrow and begin your journey, and you. Will. Like It!"

________________________

OK, now to answer reviews:

darcstars: Pink means feminine. The demon in Brendan's head, ergo (I hope I never use that word again), is feminine.

ribonucleic: I never thought of it in that context. But you did give me some ideas. *Hastily take down the "World Domination" plans pinned up.*.

The Pokemon Master: Don't worry, I take your criticism. I'll keep that in mind when I scribe the next chapter.
 
Last edited:

The Pokemon Master

Master Trainer
That's good, and your originality is definitely picking up. I'm glad to see that, and I loved how you got rid of the extra Pokemon to narrow it down to a one-on-one battle, between their starters. Your method of doing that was absolutely hilarious. Also, I'm very interested to see how the two of them handle travelling with each other, I always wondered why that didn't happen in R/S/E... Really, originality was the only problem I had with this fic, and you've managed to handle that very well. Good job, and I hope to see the next Chapter soon!

Until we meet again...
;150;
 
R

ribonucleic

Guest
Well the pokemon master pretty much said what i was going to say. But onc again a great a chapter, and you have really developed all of Brendan's pokemon's personalities.

Yay go Silver. HE rocks. One more question is May going to be entering the pokemon league or contests?
 

Demise

...An orange blob...
Okies, I'm finally here. It's been awhile since I have been here. Onward to the review.

One word....WOW, so far I don't see much of grammer mistakes. I'll let it slide for now.

Plot: So far it is very nice. ^_^

Characters:

Brendan: I see him as a very hard worker, sort of like me.

May: Well she has a stubborn side...

Silver: I like him the best. Metal is in his mind first, isn't it?

Phoenix: Very nice to have a young pokemon whose mind is corrupted.

Aura: She's like a smartie, though she likes filling young minds with evil things.

Mudkip: It's funny. I really like it, it seems like a Baka-sama, and it is very powerful when least expected. No offence.

Sky: Hmm, I can't really say I'm fond about Swablus, though it has a kind nature.

I really like the way it is unfolding, very nice pokemon and people. ^_^

-DS-
 

The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
Hmm, looks like I've finally satisfied y'all this time DS!

Brendan: Well, when your Dad's a Gym Leader, you WANT to work hard, to impress him. And he trains hard, [SPOIL]because his final goal in life is to have a real match with his dad.[/SPOIL]

May: If you haven't figured it out yet, May does contests. She has a stubborn side? I wasn't aware of that!

Silver: He's going to be very...eccentric, shall we say? With Silver, it's meatl first every time.

Aura: She calls it teaching, I call it polluting. She'll eventually become a mother (You do know what I mean by that, right?).

Mudkip: He's a joker by heart. Since he and Silver are both eccentric, they'll become pals.

Sky: I'm still working on her.
 

Demise

...An orange blob...
Hmm, looks like I've finally satisfied y'all this time DS!

Dude, I was totally too interested in the story to look for grammar mistakes. That means>> Your skills of mezmerizing your readers are working in every chapter.

May: If you haven't figured it out yet, May does contests. She has a stubborn side? I wasn't aware of that!

Um, yeah. Well, she had been trying to catch pokemon for her dad. She accepted the challenge for an ipoke. And she hated the fact that she had to travel with Brendan. Otherwise than stubborn, I have no other category to put her in.

Aura: She calls it teaching, I call it polluting. She'll eventually become a mother (You do know what I mean by that, right?).

Yup, hope she doesn't pollute the child's mind, too.

Mudkip: He's a joker by heart. Since he and Silver are both eccentric, they'll become pals.

Uh-huh, nice to know that the mudkip would become friends with Silver.

About Sky, I think she would be the best of pals with Aura, I mean they are both kind hearted.

They both think the same way, and they sort of hold responsibilities. Sky is sort of that helpful pokemon, that always remain loyal to whomever, that take responsibilities, and the type of pokemon that is always humble. Yeah.

Brendan: Well, when your Dad's a Gym Leader, you WANT to work hard, to impress him. And he trains hard, because his final goal in life is to have a real match with his dad.

I heard this before: "People who admire someone will try to be better than the person they admire." Maybe that's what Brendan is trying to do, I doubt that it won't.

P.S: It's sort of original, your story so far. I mean, having May as Professor Birch's daughter, I don't see that too much. It's like Brendan Birch and May -Blah-.

-DS-
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top