MitsuKasumi
New Member
I would like to reserve District 12 female tribute, please.
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The Hunger Games; May the odds be ever in your favor! [PG-14]
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Okay, just a few comments in bold.
Comments in bold. For now, you are pending!
Reserved, you have until 4/21/11 ! Please, while making your SU review the approved SU's. They have a good length and size to theirs and is worthy material. If you need help, I can help you with your SU. Just ask in a VM. Good Luck.
Sorry Lawnmaster, but for now, you are Denied. Lengthen things up a bit. Learn to write a little better, and then your good!
I'm good, just thought I would change myself up if you know what I mean.
Name: Alex Morgan
Gender: Male
Age: 15
District: 9
Appearance: He's short for his age at 5'4" and due to his skill at the metalworks, he isn't as thin as some of the other workers. He has developed strong upper body strength from carrying peices of metal all over the workshops. He has his brown hair cut short and a tanned face from dealing with many torches and forges. He has amny scars from sharp metal and sparks all over his body.
You can add a little bit more to this. What does he normally wear? For theese things you can expand on them by saying stuff like "He typically wears simple blue jeans over a big white shirt. He wears thin glasses over his eyes to see better, and walks around in sneakers.
Like that, go ahead and expand a little.
Personality: In a word, he's a loner. He hardly ever talks to others and when he does, it mostly because he has to talk to finish the job. He doesn't have any friends and the only person he's close to is his father, Ian. Work at the metalworks is hard and someone is seriously injured every other day but he endures it. He knows he's privlaged compared to the others but he just keeps working, interacting with the others only when needed. His father earns enough money to support both of them while Alex saves up his money. He interested in the world before the districts and the uprising and he just wishes the peacekeepers would stop breathing down thier necks.
It is barely fine. But fine. I would just love it if you expanded it with 2 or 3 more sentence though.
History: His mom died from sickness when Alex was young and his father is the only family he has. His father is the foreman of the shop he works at and other than his father getting paid slightly more than the other workers, they still have to do the same dirty work and get 'respected' the same way by the peacekeepers. He was in a school when he was younger but when he was old enough for the reaping, his father took him out of it and put him to work. He never complained seeing as while was only entered once each year, people were reaped with worse odds. Also, being smart in a district where most people rely on brute strength wasn't the best way to do things.
He has never went outside the fence and has no intrest to. He follows the peacekeepers' rules so not to attact attention and so they wouldn't harm him and his father. He and his father agreed that if he was reaped, that his father wouldn't spent all of his saved up money on him.
Review the other SU's for some inspiration for your SU. This history is good but it could be a little longer, and better. You should mention how he responded to the hunger games, how he watched it and such. You can mention if he ever had any friends in his life before he became a loner. Heck, talk about if your going to try and have an alliance. Dwell deeper to why your father, Ian, is so close to you. You can mention how he always protects you, and yet doesnt. Like so,
"Alex and his father where always close. He always knew how to raise Alex just right. He'd protect him best he could but also strengthen him. Whenever Alex had a problem or issue, he'd make him figure it out himself. This helped Alex tremendously. Since Alex's dad took him out of school he was a little bit slower. But Alex didn't care, he was going to work with metal all his life. He won't need math, and all he needs is basic reading. Alex strays away from others. He doesn't try and get close to anybody and form a relationship. Alex never minded the Hunger games. He felt it was only 24 kids dying each year. If a rebellion happened more would die each year. Even though he was taken our of school Alex still read up on the history, even if it wasn't much. Any book he read always mentioned the dark days and how the Hunger Games was born. It was vague and left him curious and wandering."
Like that. See what I did there?
Weapon: Any heavy blunt object he can get his hands on. If not, just use fists.
District Token: A plain steel watch.
Strategy: Stay away from everyone. Survive as long as he can until the end.
this is all i've got so far...
Dont rush yourself. You can improve this greatly. I've been in a few RPG's with you so I know your a good RPGer so I'm a little lenient on you right now. Just add the necassary things, and you'll be approved. Show me you are willing to take the extra step in this RPG.
Comments in bold. For now, you are pending!
Reserved, you have until 4/21/11 !
Please, while making your SU review the approved SU's. They have a good length and size to theirs and is worthy material. If you need help, I can help you with your SU. Just ask in a VM. Good Luck. i edited hope it is good now
name: vosok vesselius
Gender:male
Age: 17
District: district 2
Appearance: A tall fit man who has long brown silky hair with large brown eyes. He has a medium tan . He has a hollow stomach and hollow cheeks. He has a chiped tooth that often causes pain. He has scars on his arms from a abusive dad.He also has nimble fingers. He has a small slim build and stands about 6 ft 2 inch and wears a necklece with a red rock that is a good luck sign.
My character prefers to wear a faded brown jacket with a black t-shirt and jeans. He is usually wearing a hat that fits perfectly. He usaualy is wearing gray socks and brown and green hiking boots. He also has a belt with knives and wears a feather in his cap literally the feather from his first kill.
Personality:vosok finds people quite annoying and usualy makes quick mean remarks. Not caring mush about others he does what he wants wears what he wants and follows no rule. Because of this he pretty much loves the feeling of trouble the rush of just knowing that you are ruining a humans life. Due to his hatred of people he doesnt have any crushes.
sometimes though vosok will find someone not anoying and will protect them with all his might and kill any who try to harm that person in any way. While if you are the side of hatred he will quickly try to make you seem like an idot who shouldn't be here
History: As a young child vosok was abused and hated by his family because of his likings to nature. So he took off wanting only to bring pain and misery to others. he trained to be in the hunger games and to be well equipped with knives and bows but more so the knife. He decided to spend a year in the woods to test himself he came out a man who had many problems. The people helping him hurt him more because of his current state he was full of hatred as friend showed up to help he automatically attacked and tried to kill them. Eventually he settled but when he did there was no one to love or like him even.
Wanting to be in the hunger games as soon as possible to end other humans. He was going to volunteer only he was called at 12 only to have a volunteer. Watching the hunger games that year he realized he wasn't good enough so he trained more. He studied wildlife learned edible plants and practiced killing on dummies while building his speed and strength. As he trained he became smarter faster and more vicious he soon realized he was ready for the hunger games
Weapon: knife and bow
District Token: a necklace
Strategy: allies that is the only way to win
name: vosok vesselius
Gender:male
Age: 17
District: district 2
Appearance: A tall fit man who has long brown silky hair with large brown eyes. He has a medium tan . He has a hollow stomach and hollow cheeks. He has a chiped tooth that often causes pain. He has scars on his arms from a abusive dad.He also has nimble fingers. He has a small slim build and stands about 6 ft 2 inch and wears a necklece with a red rock that is a good luck sign.
My character prefers to wear a faded brown jacket with a black t-shirt and jeans. He is usually wearing a hat that fits perfectly. He usaualy is wearing gray socks and brown and green hiking boots. He also has a belt with knives and wears a feather in his cap literally the feather from his first kill.
Personality:vosok finds people quite annoying and usualy makes quick mean remarks. Not caring mush about others he does what he wants wears what he wants and follows no rule. Because of this he pretty much loves the feeling of trouble the rush of just knowing that you are ruining a humans life. Due to his hatred of people he doesnt have any crushes.
sometimes though vosok will find someone not anoying and will protect them with all his might and kill any who try to harm that person in any way. While if you are the side of hatred he will quickly try to make you seem like an idot who shouldn't be here
History: As a young child vosok was abused and hated by his family because of his likings to nature. So he took off wanting only to bring pain and misery to others. he trained to be in the hunger games and to be well equipped with knives and bows but more so the knife. He decided to spend a year in the woods to test himself he came out a man who had many problems. The people helping him hurt him more because of his current state he was full of hatred as friend showed up to help he automatically attacked and tried to kill them. Eventually he settled but when he did there was no one to love or like him even.
Wanting to be in the hunger games as soon as possible to end other humans. He was going to volunteer only he was called at 12 only to have a volunteer. Watching the hunger games that year he realized he wasn't good enough so he trained more. He studied wildlife learned edible plants and practiced killing on dummies while building his speed and strength. As he trained he became smarter faster and more vicious he soon realized he was ready for the hunger games
Weapon: knife and bow
District Token: a necklace
Strategy: allies that is the only way to win
Thank you for taking the time to try and improve. But your not quite there yet. For now, you are pending.
Comments in bold.
But your not quite there yet. For now, you are pending.Comments in bold.
Hmm, she is kinda like a Rue/Katniss. And the funny thing is, I came up with her off of the top of my head. I'll remove the bow and arrow thing, though. Also she's more reserved than Rue. I'll put that in too. I also realized that the whole "song of the mockingjay" thing is dangerously close to Rue. I haven't read the Hunger Games in a while, and can't remember much about how Rue looked or acted. *looks up Rue in Wikipedia as to exclude similarities and to bursh up on Rue*
Name: Saira Feramine
Gender: Female (pronounced SAY-ruh fer-uh-MEE-nay but her surname is hers made up only for her to feel normal, as District 11 people are not allowed surnames)
Age: 14
District: 11
Appearance: Saira is one of the few caucasian females in District 11. Her hair is a waterfall of long, chocolate brown curls with short bangs that she she wears down. She also sports hazel eyes. She has a slight sunburn due to being in the sun all the time, but also because one of the unlucky people who sunburns easier than they tan. She dresses simply, a white tank-top and jean shorts are a favorite, as she is usually working in the fields. She uses a pink scarf as a "belt" whenever her shorts have belt loops. She usually has a pink rose pin in her hair, but removes it for the actual Games. Her teeth aren't the whitest, but they're straight and she has all of them. She is also very scrawny from the poverty in District 11, and having to share food with her three older brothers, but has feminine muscle as well from working in the fields.
Personality: She is usually shy and quiet, only speaking if spoken to or if she has something intelligent to say. She is mainly pacifistic and hates any type of violence, and instead likes to solve things by talking them over. However, if you tick her off, she is a very ferocious fighter, using skill and evasiveness to tire the opponent out, then striking. Though she has a couple aquaintances, there is no one she can actually call her "friend", as no one can get past her outer shell, even though she treats everyone with respect. She is certain that it is because she is caucasian, while the majority of District 11 are African-American. She instead prefers the company of the animals and other wildlife that are around her garden, and the songs of the mockingjays. She herself has a very melodic voice, not good enough to become famous or anything, but still sweet and pure nonetheless. She also trys to avoid trouble whenever possible, as it makes her more noticed, and gives the other kids something else to make fun of.
History: Saira was born in District 11 on April 17, and has had a love for plants since she was a newborn, always toddling around and smelling the flowers in her mother's garden. Since then, she has grown up always surrounded by many different plants and knows the uses of each one, and whether or not they are edible.
Saira began her schooling at 5, and has been at the top, or near the top, of her class since. Her vast knowledge will also come in handy during the Games, to calculate the exact angle of which something needs to be thrown, and the angle of what is being thrown at her, so she can dodge. She is shunned because of it, so she's always been on the outside, sitting alone at lunch. The only person who ever really talked to her was (insert male character's name here).
Growing up in poverty, and three older brothers plus her father to feed (her mother died from an undefined illness), she was the only girl in the family, but also the hardest working. Her brothers slacked off, while Saira worked hard in the fiels day in and day out. Often times, she worked slightly past the end of the day, as to get more done. Her father also forced her to give part of her share of food to the boys of the family, which also explains why she's so scrawny. She willingly did so, however, out of care and love for her family. She also did some of her brothers and father's work because they were so lazy.
When both Saira and (insert male tribute's name here) were both chosen at the Reaping, she was shocked. She hated violence, and she especially didn't want to hurt the only person who at least attempted to be her friend.
Weapon: Pocketknife ("trained" by using it to trim bushes, but she can also throw it will pretty good aim, hitting her target nearly every time) Also, her sheer knowledge and skill will come in handy.
District Token: A braided choker necklace woven from various stems and grasses.
Strategy: Evasiveness, avoiding the fight until necessary, building up strength.
Other: Here is the color (not style, but color) of Saira's hair.
I hope this is slightly better... ugh -.-'
Name: Saira Feramine
Gender: Female (pronounced SAY-ruh fer-uh-MEE-nay but her surname is hers made up only for her to feel normal, as District 11 people are not allowed surnames)
Age: 14
District: 11
Appearance: Saira is one of the few caucasian females in District 11. Her hair is a waterfall of long, chocolate brown curls with short bangs that she she wears down. She also sports hazel eyes. She has a slight sunburn due to being in the sun all the time, but also because one of the unlucky people who sunburns easier than they tan. She dresses simply, a white tank-top and jean shorts are a favorite, as she is usually working in the fields. She uses a pink scarf as a "belt" whenever her shorts have belt loops. She usually has a pink rose pin in her hair, but removes it for the actual Games. Her teeth aren't the whitest, but they're straight and she has all of them. She is also very scrawny from the poverty in District 11, and having to share food with her three older brothers, but has feminine muscle as well from working in the fields.
Personality: She is usually shy and quiet, only speaking if spoken to or if she has something intelligent to say. She is mainly pacifistic and hates any type of violence, and instead likes to solve things by talking them over. However, if you tick her off, she is a very ferocious fighter, using skill and evasiveness to tire the opponent out, then striking. Though she has a couple aquaintances, there is no one she can actually call her "friend", as no one can get past her outer shell, even though she treats everyone with respect. She is certain that it is because she is caucasian, while the majority of District 11 are African-American. She instead prefers the company of the animals and other wildlife that are around her garden, and the songs of the mockingjays. She herself has a very melodic voice, not good enough to become famous or anything, but still sweet and pure nonetheless. She also trys to avoid trouble whenever possible, as it makes her more noticed, and gives the other kids something else to make fun of.
History: Saira was born in District 11 on April 17, and has had a love for plants since she was a newborn, always toddling around and smelling the flowers in her mother's garden. Since then, she has grown up always surrounded by many different plants and knows the uses of each one, and whether or not they are edible.
Saira began her schooling at 5, and has been at the top, or near the top, of her class since. Her vast knowledge will also come in handy during the Games, to calculate the exact angle of which something needs to be thrown, and the angle of what is being thrown at her, so she can dodge. She is shunned because of it, so she's always been on the outside, sitting alone at lunch. The only person who ever really talked to her was (insert male character's name here).
Growing up in poverty, and three older brothers plus her father to feed (her mother died from an undefined illness), she was the only girl in the family, but also the hardest working. Her brothers slacked off, while Saira worked hard in the fiels day in and day out. Often times, she worked slightly past the end of the day, as to get more done. Her father also forced her to give part of her share of food to the boys of the family, which also explains why she's so scrawny. She willingly did so, however, out of care and love for her family. She also did some of her brothers and father's work because they were so lazy.
When both Saira and (insert male tribute's name here) were both chosen at the Reaping, she was shocked. She hated violence, and she especially didn't want to hurt the only person who at least attempted to be her friend.
Weapon: Pocketknife ("trained" by using it to trim bushes, but she can also throw it will pretty good aim, hitting her target nearly every time) Also, her sheer knowledge and skill will come in handy.
District Token: A braided choker necklace woven from various stems and grasses.
Strategy: Evasiveness, avoiding the fight until necessary, building up strength.
Other: Here is the color (not style, but color) of Saira's hair.
I hope this is slightly better... ugh -.-'
The letter "C" is very close the the letter "V" so the typo is understandable
You are approved! Welcome to the hunger games, and may the odds be ever in your favor!
The letter "C" is very close the the letter "V" so the typo is understandable
I know. But I find typos entertaining
That's teally stramge...
EDIT: oh reply, in Visitor messages. This will turn spammy, real fast
Do you think that I could also add shuriken (ninja stars) as another weapon for Saira? I would make another shuriken-controlling player, but I find it hard to control two characters... actually, I think I'll try, so disregard that. Reserving male District 1. A career character should be... interesting...
thank you for your advice and i edited hope it is good now
name: Vosok Vesselius
Gender:male
Age: 17
District: district 2
Appearance: He has a medium tan from spending almost all his life outside. He has a slim body build from lack of food due to running away. This also resulted into hollow cheeks and a hollow stomach. He eventually gained height from all the stretching exercise in his daily routine the therapist made. As a kid he chipped his tooth when running the tooth wouldn't have caused pain if it hadn't run into his nerves. Also as a kid he received a scar on his arm from his abusive father
My character preferred to wear his brown jacket and black t-shirt to sneak up on animals for a meal. He also wore jeans so there wasn't any loose clothing to trip on. While he wore his cap to insulate the heat and to hide his glossy brown hair. The feather of his first kill for show. His boats are designed for running and climbing.
Personality:vosok finds people quite annoying and usually makes quick mean remarks. Not caring mush about others he does what he wants wears what he wants and follows no rule. Because of this he pretty much loves the feeling of trouble the rush of just knowing that you are ruining a humans life. Due to his hatred of people he doesnt have any crushes.
sometimes though vosok will find someone not anoying and will protect them with all his might and kill any who try to harm that person in any way. But vosok can very quickly find this person annoying again and put a end to them
History: As a young child vosok was abused and hated by his family because of his likings to nature. So he took off wanting only to bring pain and misery to others. He trained to be in the hunger games and to be well equipped with knives and bows but more so the knife. He decided to spend a year in the woods to test himself he came out a man who had many problems. The people helping him hurt him more because of his current state he was full of hatred as friend showed up to help he automatically attacked and tried to kill them. Eventually he settled but when he did there was no one to love or like him even.
Wanting to be in the hunger games as soon as possible to gain friends with the fame. He was going to volunteer only he was called at 12 only to have a volunteer. Watching the hunger games that year he realized he wasn't good enough so he trained more. He studied wildlife learned edible plants and practiced killing on dummies while building his speed and strength. As he trained he became smarter faster and thought soon realized he was ready for the hunger games and so he volunteered .
District Token: a necklace
Strategy: allies that is the only way to win
name: Vosok Vesselius
Gender:male
Age: 17
District: district 2
Appearance: He has a medium tan from spending almost all his life outside. He has a slim body build from lack of food due to running away. This also resulted into hollow cheeks and a hollow stomach. He eventually gained height from all the stretching exercise in his daily routine the therapist made. As a kid he chipped his tooth when running the tooth wouldn't have caused pain if it hadn't run into his nerves. Also as a kid he received a scar on his arm from his abusive father
My character preferred to wear his brown jacket and black t-shirt to sneak up on animals for a meal. He also wore jeans so there wasn't any loose clothing to trip on. While he wore his cap to insulate the heat and to hide his glossy brown hair. The feather of his first kill for show. His boats are designed for running and climbing.
Personality:vosok finds people quite annoying and usually makes quick mean remarks. Not caring mush about others he does what he wants wears what he wants and follows no rule. Because of this he pretty much loves the feeling of trouble the rush of just knowing that you are ruining a humans life. Due to his hatred of people he doesnt have any crushes.
sometimes though vosok will find someone not anoying and will protect them with all his might and kill any who try to harm that person in any way. But vosok can very quickly find this person annoying again and put a end to them
History: As a young child vosok was abused and hated by his family because of his likings to nature. So he took off wanting only to bring pain and misery to others. He trained to be in the hunger games and to be well equipped with knives and bows but more so the knife. He decided to spend a year in the woods to test himself he came out a man who had many problems. The people helping him hurt him more because of his current state he was full of hatred as friend showed up to help he automatically attacked and tried to kill them. Eventually he settled but when he did there was no one to love or like him even.
Wanting to be in the hunger games as soon as possible to gain friends with the fame. He was going to volunteer only he was called at 12 only to have a volunteer. Watching the hunger games that year he realized he wasn't good enough so he trained more. He studied wildlife learned edible plants and practiced killing on dummies while building his speed and strength. As he trained he became smarter faster and thought soon realized he was ready for the hunger games and so he volunteered .
District Token: a necklace
Strategy: allies that is the only way to win
Lawnmaster: Okay, well you're getting better with your SU. I'm going to Aprove you mainly because you're trying your best and showing me your willing to work for this RPG.
The length of your SU does not meet my standards, but it's fine. You've shown some improvement.
Please note, try and capitolize names. Your grammar is a bit off, but thats okay, nobody is perfect.
Your character is insane so he might be killed off by the capitol, just saying. lol.
May the odds be ever in your favor
The length of your SU does not meet my standards, but it's fine. You've shown some improvement.
Please note, try and capitolize names. Your grammar is a bit off, but thats okay, nobody is perfect. Your character is insane so he might be killed off by the capitol, just saying. lol.
May the odds be ever in your favor
NOT FINISHED. I didn't get to work on it much, just saving it so that I can edit tomorrow.
Name: Markus "Ninja" Flynn
Gender: Male
Age: 17
District: District 1
Appearance: Markus is the exact opposite of what you (usually) think when someone says "ninja". You think all black, can't see their face, solemn, etc. But no. Markus has blonde hair that isn't long, but isn't, like, a buzz cut either. I don't know how to explain it. Like, it's long enough to not be buzzed, but not long enough to be considered "long". Anyways, he also has dark blue eyes, the color of sapphire, but they sparkle brightly, like the gemstone itself. He often wears a T-shirt the same color as his eyes, and a pair of jeans to go with. He also sports a pair of white sneakers, making the overall effect... well, un-ninja like.
Personality: His personality is also not like that of a ninja.
History: (Now here is where I expect a lot. Dwell into your history. How was life in your district? Family? Friends? Any special skills you developed as you grew older? I want to know everything with your character. 2 full, beefy paragraphs.
*If you are a career tribute (districts 1, 2, and 4) then tell us how you trained [if you’re a career. You can still be in districts 1, 2, and 4 without being a career.] and stuff like that.)
Weapon: Are you capable with using a weapon? If not, leave blank.
District Token: (This is your token you are allowed to bring into the arena with you. It must not be able to be used as a weapon and is your last piece of home while your in the games. It can range from a button to a necklace. Something small. Think hard about it, as it will represent yourself and your district.)
Strategy: How do you plan to win the games? You dont have to answer if you don't know yet.
Other: I care more about Saira than Markus, so... don't kill him off right at the beginning, but I don't mind him going. Just make sure he has a chance to talk to Saira and form an alliance before he's killed. Also, he's a Gary Stu on purpose. Because he's a career Tribute. So... yeah.
Name: Markus "Ninja" Flynn
Gender: Male
Age: 17
District: District 1
Appearance: Markus is the exact opposite of what you (usually) think when someone says "ninja". You think all black, can't see their face, solemn, etc. But no. Markus has blonde hair that isn't long, but isn't, like, a buzz cut either. I don't know how to explain it. Like, it's long enough to not be buzzed, but not long enough to be considered "long". Anyways, he also has dark blue eyes, the color of sapphire, but they sparkle brightly, like the gemstone itself. He often wears a T-shirt the same color as his eyes, and a pair of jeans to go with. He also sports a pair of white sneakers, making the overall effect... well, un-ninja like.
Personality: His personality is also not like that of a ninja.
History: (Now here is where I expect a lot. Dwell into your history. How was life in your district? Family? Friends? Any special skills you developed as you grew older? I want to know everything with your character. 2 full, beefy paragraphs.
*If you are a career tribute (districts 1, 2, and 4) then tell us how you trained [if you’re a career. You can still be in districts 1, 2, and 4 without being a career.] and stuff like that.)
Weapon: Are you capable with using a weapon? If not, leave blank.
District Token: (This is your token you are allowed to bring into the arena with you. It must not be able to be used as a weapon and is your last piece of home while your in the games. It can range from a button to a necklace. Something small. Think hard about it, as it will represent yourself and your district.)
Strategy: How do you plan to win the games? You dont have to answer if you don't know yet.
Other: I care more about Saira than Markus, so... don't kill him off right at the beginning, but I don't mind him going. Just make sure he has a chance to talk to Saira and form an alliance before he's killed. Also, he's a Gary Stu on purpose. Because he's a career Tribute. So... yeah.
Plusle+Minun
fanfiction is life
*facepalm*
I think I tried to ask you about that actually. "Can you give away reserved spots?"
Find people like him? o.o There aren't so many of them like that out there, buddy, and they're lone wolves anyway.
I think I tried to ask you about that actually. "Can you give away reserved spots?"
Find people like him? o.o There aren't so many of them like that out there, buddy, and they're lone wolves anyway.