• Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

The Islands of Hone

  • Thread starter Celebi Time-Traveller
  • Start date
C

Celebi Time-Traveller

Guest
Alright, this is my first Pokemon comic, taking place in a land of mine called Hone. Well, actually, it's a set of islands. Here: Hone Islands

Anyway, here we are:

Bio

Chapter 1: The Beginning

Episode 1
Episode 2
 
Last edited by a moderator:

MochiShroom

Azure Azumarill
Well, good graphics and stuff, but I suggest using speech bubbles as side-text sort of distracts readers. I don't like where the plot is going. So far it seems like a regular journey comic. Also, you should edit the characters' clothes so they stand out. But I am thankful for your superb grammar and effort, which is a sign that you aren't making these things in 10 seconds and expecting everyone to love these comics like some noobs.
 
Last edited:
C

Celebi Time-Traveller

Guest
It's not just a journey comic, though I do admit it seems that way right now. And, I didn't edit the clothes because they are supposed to be the characters from the games.
 

Electrode

< give me my hands
Well I really can't rate on the first comic seing as though it's only three panels but never use proper game charicters it tells you that in the do's and don'ts of making a comic so I'll keep my eye on this comic
 
C

Celebi Time-Traveller

Guest
Huh? Never use game characters? But, I see people use 'em all the time here. Especially May and Brendan...

Anyway, a bio section is up. May contain spoilers. Also got a new comic! #2!
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Matt`

r u srs?
It's a pretty good comic. All it needs speech bubbles, and some humor.
If it's not a journey comic, what is it? It's Ok to make a journey comic, as long as it's entertaining, funny, creative, and original. But usually they aren't.
 
M

Magical Trevor

Guest
well i few more pannels and some speech bubbles woud spunk up this omic but it's alright i guess
 

Electrode

< give me my hands
Well I read epi 2 well you were cliché by saying the comic is cliché the random judge guy is really stupid but what i really why are the heroen younger than the heroes
 

ForeverFlame

Well-Known Member
Huh? Never use game characters? But, I see people use 'em all the time here. Especially May and Brendan...

In other words, people who use Game Heroes as their Comic Hero are following a cliché.
Anyway, this comic is ALMOST perfect, except for the lack of speechbubbles, the clichédness and the map of the Hone Islands. Since this isn't the Sprites Forum I can't really critic that, though.
 
C

Celebi Time-Traveller

Guest
I see...Alright, then. *Notes* Speechbubbles, more panels, less cliche'. That everything? Got it. I'll work on that after school.

(Dumb 5th grade)
 

Momiji

I hate rainbows!
Its ok. I can't really say more than that as it's very short but it seems ok. I'll keep my eye on it, I want to see where you'll take the characters.

Still it's ok. But like ForeverFlame said it's a bit "cliché" to use game characters to maybe add other ones.
 

MochiShroom

Azure Azumarill
It's better now, but you know what needs to be added. Look up! Anyway, I'm keeping an eye on this comic.
 
Top